Episode 6 ‹ Series 1 ‹ Election Spy

Line	From	To
This programme contains some strong language.	:00:00.	:00:17.
Diane Abbott is too ill to go on Woman's Hour.	:00:18.	:00:22.
She's I'm-too-crap-to-be-interviewed ill.	:00:23.	:00:26.
You've got to ask, would they be attacking her like this	:00:27.	:00:29.
Did you see her on Sky News yesterday?	:00:30.	:00:41.
OK, yes, there were quite a lot of pauses.	:00:42.	:00:45.
One long pause is what we need from Diane.	:00:46.	:00:48.
She's turned off her location tracker.	:00:49.	:01:01.
Would you send out this Romanian guy who fought the attackers? Obviously	:01:02.	:01:09.
not, we keep people like that. That's quite a tough citizenship	:01:10.	:01:14.
test... You know the good ones. My boyfriend is from Eritrea and he has	:01:15.	:01:20.
never claimed any benefits. He hasn't? Well, he can't because he is	:01:21.	:01:28.
not legal. Anyway, enough about me... Let's crack on with British	:01:29.	:01:30.
jobs for British people. So let me ask you for	:01:31.	:01:35.
the third time, why did May when Home Secretary cut	:01:36.	:01:40.
the police by 17,000? I think you'll find we've	:01:41.	:01:44.
ring-fenced funding for counterterrorism	:01:45.	:01:47.
and enhanced MI5 capabilities. No, you're cutting the Office	:01:48.	:01:49.
for Security and Counterterrorism's budget by 3.7% this	:01:50.	:01:52.
year, aren't you? When May said "enough is enough",	:01:53.	:01:53.
was that her answer when the police And what about cuts	:01:54.	:01:58.
to Prevent programm, which... Just get me a cup of	:01:59.	:02:02.
locking coffee, would you? Andrew Neil wouldn't make	:02:03.	:02:04.
coffee for his guests... We're up against Corbyn,	:02:05.	:02:06.
who's like a geography teacher - the one who taught the wrong	:02:07.	:02:16.
syllabus for a whole Have you seen our	:02:17.	:02:18.
latest private polls? I've found as a Lib Dem,	:02:19.	:02:24.
it's best not to look. Though often it's best not	:02:25.	:02:29.
to look at that either. Do you want Diane Abbott	:02:30.	:02:37.
as Home Secretary? Diane Abbott won't remember how	:02:38.	:02:43.
many police there are. Bob wants to talk to you. Diane	:02:44.	:02:46.
Abbott! We might as well go the full Trump	:02:47.	:03:03.
and do mad stuff to get attention. We've actually done	:03:04.	:03:07.
a bit better than usual. Get Tim to put the gay stuff to rest	:03:08.	:03:09.
by snogging Andrew Neil. Got three mentions in the national	:03:10.	:03:12.
press, one quite big. "Jihadi Jeremy is secret	:03:13.	:03:14.
member of Isis". "Crooked Theresa did have	:03:15.	:03:17.
children but ate them". I thought Tim actually did	:03:18.	:03:19.
quite well last night. For a moment I thought	:03:20.	:03:28.
of voting Lib Dem. I don't think I've ever	:03:29.	:03:34.
actually voted Lib Dem. Oh yeah, we're doing a big youth	:03:35.	:03:46.
push on Twitter today. You've got to communicate	:03:47.	:04:00.
with the under-25s in Let's see if they understand this:	:04:01.	:04:14.
"Wake up lazy locks. Someone has written to Reeza, why	:04:15.	:04:44.
didn't we think of that? Have you ever seen a dirty white found that	:04:45.	:04:53.
hasn't got a Cork drawn on it? We could draw one on the White horse,	:04:54.	:04:55.
and it would be bigger! Boris says Trump's state	:04:56.	:05:00.
visit should go ahead. It's alright for him -	:05:01.	:05:03.
it's Theresa who'll have No, she won't - she'll just get	:05:04.	:05:06.
Amber Rudd to do it. Theresa May's confessed	:05:07.	:05:12.
that the naughtiest thing she ever did as a child was "run	:05:13.	:05:15.
through fields of wheat". ...While chasing	:05:16.	:05:17.
a beggar with a stick. I want to know...	:05:18.	:05:18.
..what will happen next. And I want to know...	:05:19.	:05:27.
..what it all means... Join us for full coverage	:05:28.	:05:30.
and analysis	:05:31.	:05:34.

Episode 6 Election Spy

Similar Content

Satire

Series 1

Election Spy

Episode 5

Episode 7

Transcript

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS