Episode 7 Election Spy
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
Oh brilliant, yeah, Theresa May visits Smithfield... | :00:20. | :00:21. | |
Yeah, lots of photos of her and dead meat, | :00:22. | :00:23. | |
why not just write the headlines for them? | :00:24. | :00:26. | |
These Jeremy Corbyn smears are pathetic! | :00:27. | :00:28. | |
We can't use these, some of them are barely libellous. | :00:29. | :00:31. | |
There's more stuff about him meeting with terrorists, and being | :00:32. | :00:33. | |
investigated by Special Branch and - | :00:34. | :00:41. | |
No, no, no, we're just remixing old hits now, these are no good, | :00:42. | :00:43. | |
the Queen's met more terrorists than he has. | :00:44. | :00:49. | |
We need something startling, like him shagging rescued donkeys, | :00:50. | :00:51. | |
or being investigated by Operation Yewtree. | :00:52. | :00:52. | |
Find some photos of Corbyn with Jimmy Savile, | :00:53. | :00:57. | |
or failing that, Stuart Hall, Pol Pot or Sir Phillip Green. | :00:58. | :01:04. | |
OK, born London...Shadow Minister for Policing. | :01:05. | :01:09. | |
And now our new Shadow Home Secretary. | :01:10. | :01:11. | |
So she's sort of like a supply Shadow Home Secretary then. | :01:12. | :01:15. | |
Uh-oh, she was reported to have sworn at a blind reporter and | :01:16. | :01:21. | |
shoved him and his guide dog out of the way! | :01:22. | :01:23. | |
Turner Prize winning artist Wolfgang Tillman. | :01:24. | :01:33. | |
Oh, that's Stoke North in the bag for us, then. | :01:34. | :01:36. | |
The Lib Dems should enter the Turner Prize...as an | :01:37. | :01:38. | |
Ah, ah, I have rather a nice surprise for you. | :01:39. | :01:45. | |
Theresa May has given Jeremy Corbyn ebola? | :01:46. | :01:48. | |
I've been doing my cuttings and...ta-da. | :01:49. | :01:50. | |
But it does take a whole page to say it. | :01:51. | :02:01. | |
30% of people have "no opinion" of Tim Farron. | :02:02. | :02:04. | |
I mean, couldn't they at least think he was | :02:05. | :02:06. | |
Yeah, there's real change in the air! | :02:07. | :02:19. | |
The moment we believe our own hype is the moment we blow it. | :02:20. | :02:24. | |
Kinnock's Sheffield rally, Ed and his locking | :02:25. | :02:27. | |
Everyone was coming together, feeling the love. | :02:28. | :02:31. | |
down in the mud, covered in their own piss. | :02:32. | :02:58. | |
Remember when we were sprinkled with stardust? | :02:59. | :03:01. | |
Where have all our celebrity supporters gone? | :03:02. | :03:05. | |
Diane Abbott has tweeted 12 times in an hour. | :03:06. | :03:10. | |
Whatever she's got doesn't affect her fingers. | :03:11. | :03:13. | |
Some tosser has written "Vote Labour" | :03:14. | :03:14. | |
I saw Theresa on Channel 4 News but there might have been a fault | :03:15. | :03:27. | |
because none of the answers linked to any of the questions. | :03:28. | :03:31. | |
You've bet ?300 on Labour winning more seats? | :03:32. | :03:33. | |
counter was Labour too, cause he was smiling the whole time. | :03:34. | :03:43. | |
They should prosecute the Tories for theft...of our policies... | :03:44. | :03:45. | |
Now they want to get rid of Human Rights. | :03:46. | :03:47. | |
I think it's the Human Rights Act that - | :03:48. | :03:49. | |
We need to be more radical than them. | :03:50. | :03:51. | |
Push internment...Say that we would execute suicide bombers. | :03:52. | :03:53. | |
Imprison the owners of internet sites who show extremist material. | :03:54. | :04:01. | |
Some of those Isis executions I've watched are horrific. | :04:02. | :04:06. | |
You make a cameo appearance in an artistic amateur video | :04:07. | :04:15. | |
and suddenly it's shared half way round the world. | :04:16. | :04:18. | |
Diana, um, are you managing OK, only - | :04:19. | :04:23. | |
In fact I'll be sorry when the campaign's | :04:24. | :04:26. | |
over and I have to go back to my boring old job in Air Traffic | :04:27. | :04:30. | |
You can't stop terrorism with extended jail terms. | :04:31. | :04:37. | |
Yeah, the only person deterred by long sentences is Donald Trump. | :04:38. | :04:41. | |
How did we end up being led by the Right Honourable | :04:42. | :05:00. | |
a Trotskyist cardigan and yet it's still close! | :05:01. | :05:04. | |
Because every time our leader meets a human being her software crashes! | :05:05. | :05:07. | |
Nothing, I just needed to throw something at someone... | :05:08. | :05:11. | |
James Moorcroft. Did you arrest him? No. | :05:12. | :05:27. |