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Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Opinionated, tonight from | :00:24. | :00:34. | |
Maidstone. It has been a strange week. Meryl | :00:34. | :00:39. | |
Streep was in London this week, plugging her new film, the life | :00:39. | :00:44. | |
story of Margaret Thatcher. It shows all of the years she was in | :00:44. | :00:47. | |
power. The film has a 12 certificate but apparently it is | :00:47. | :00:57. | |
:00:57. | :00:58. | ||
not suitable for miners. I do not know if you have been | :00:58. | :01:02. | |
watching I'm A Celebrity, but the big news was that Freddie Starr | :01:02. | :01:12. | |
:01:12. | :01:18. | ||
felt sick after meeting camel tour. -- toe. | :01:18. | :01:27. | |
You get used to it. Hazi Abdul Noor has become the world's all this | :01:27. | :01:31. | |
bridegroom, after marrying his 60- year-old girlfriend in India this | :01:31. | :01:41. | |
:01:41. | :01:46. | ||
week. Here they are. -- our oldest. You know when you meet someone for | :01:46. | :01:49. | |
the first time in a cafe or something and they're a bit late, | :01:49. | :01:53. | |
you start thinking they do not fancy you. In this case you would | :01:53. | :02:02. | |
think, he is dead. You can imagine their married life, | :02:02. | :02:07. | |
with her saying, do you fancy breakfast in bed? And him saying, | :02:07. | :02:14. | |
let's see how it goes? A woman in Russia claims that for | :02:14. | :02:24. | |
the last two years she has had an alien in her fridge. I would say | :02:24. | :02:28. | |
that, at any one time, I have at least three things in my vegetable | :02:28. | :02:36. | |
drawer that look like that. This was the picture that appeared in | :02:36. | :02:42. | |
the papers. What worries me about that is that it is on the top shelf. | :02:42. | :02:48. | |
You see the plates underneath? I don't want aliens dripping into my | :02:48. | :02:56. | |
food. Oxford City Council have planned to put CCTV in all of the | :02:56. | :03:03. | |
city's taxis. That is going to be very embarrassing, isn't it? The | :03:03. | :03:08. | |
this is a sensitive subject, but I once had the physical liaison in | :03:08. | :03:13. | |
the back of a mini cab. I do not want to go into detail, but I can | :03:13. | :03:21. | |
still remember the street lights reflecting on her scratchy. It was | :03:21. | :03:31. | |
:03:31. | :03:36. | ||
quite exciting. -- scrunchy. Anywhere on the left will be fine! | :03:36. | :03:45. | |
I did not know who to payee first. Anyway, let's get started. Please | :03:46. | :03:52. | |
welcome my guests, Sarah Millican and Alun Cochrane. | :03:52. | :04:02. | |
:04:02. | :04:15. | ||
You have done this show before, Sarah. Alun, you are new to it. I | :04:15. | :04:18. | |
usually start by letting the audience bring up a subject for us | :04:18. | :04:24. | |
to discuss. This audience look like they are straining at the leash. | :04:24. | :04:30. | |
There is a lady with blond hair. you think the world will be a | :04:30. | :04:34. | |
poorer place without people like Silvio Berlusconi on the stage, or | :04:34. | :04:37. | |
is there always another buffoon to take the Place? | :04:37. | :04:44. | |
I once saw a horrible story about him, allegedly with seven | :04:44. | :04:52. | |
prostitutes in a room. The comment underneath, from one bloke, was | :04:52. | :04:59. | |
legend. I do not know how you can manage seven people in a hotel room. | :04:59. | :05:04. | |
There are two glasses, two cups. There is maybe a beaker in the | :05:04. | :05:09. | |
bathroom. Not even everybody can have a drink, can they? He has not | :05:09. | :05:13. | |
thought it through. I think he was thinking of the number of segments | :05:14. | :05:18. | |
in a Chocolate bar. Many other stories we can discuss | :05:18. | :05:28. | |
:05:28. | :05:31. | ||
before we move on? What about the man in lavender? Justine Bebo's | :05:31. | :05:41. | |
:05:41. | :05:52. | ||
apparent baby. -- Bieber. What age are you? 16? Lovely. Would | :05:52. | :05:58. | |
you call that should lavender? I would. I feel we have all the | :05:58. | :06:08. | |
:06:08. | :06:13. | ||
facts now. Justin's apparent baby - discuss. | :06:13. | :06:23. | |
:06:23. | :06:25. | ||
"apparent baby", did you say? I quite like the idea that Justin | :06:25. | :06:35. | |
:06:35. | :06:42. | ||
Apparently, he spent three-and-a- half minutes in Berlusconi's Patel | :06:42. | :06:52. | |
:06:52. | :06:57. | ||
run. -- hotel room. "come on, Justin, I haven't got all night." I | :06:57. | :07:01. | |
think the latest is that he is not the father. Can I ask how many | :07:02. | :07:08. | |
people have been watching I'm A Celebrity? There is a girl called | :07:08. | :07:14. | |
Jessica Jane Clement. We have a picture of her. It is a classic | :07:14. | :07:20. | |
model picture, showing quite a lovely engagement ring. This is her | :07:20. | :07:25. | |
publicity shot just before going into the jungle. Suddenly that ring | :07:25. | :07:29. | |
has disappeared. The makers of the show said it would not be so good | :07:29. | :07:33. | |
if she wore an engagement ring on the show because it would take some | :07:33. | :07:37. | |
of the tension out of it with some of the other contestants. Is it not | :07:37. | :07:42. | |
just because she is going to be in the jungle, she will probably lose | :07:42. | :07:52. | |
:07:52. | :07:54. | ||
it? Perhaps it is in her shoe with her watch. She is going swimming. | :07:54. | :08:04. | |
Do you know who Kim Kardashian his? She recently got married and then | :08:04. | :08:07. | |
divorced fairly quickly. This is her husband, he is called Kris | :08:07. | :08:13. | |
Humphries. He is a basketball player. He bought her an engagement | :08:13. | :08:22. | |
ring which is worth �1.2 million. Does anyone think she is entitled | :08:22. | :08:28. | |
to keep it? All: Yes. | :08:28. | :08:38. | |
:08:38. | :08:45. | ||
Mainly female voices there. know money you spend on your own | :08:45. | :08:55. | |
:08:55. | :08:58. | ||
idiocy, you call it idiot tax. When you spend money on your own | :08:58. | :09:02. | |
stupidity, like I have some friends who locked themselves out of their | :09:02. | :09:07. | |
own house when they were drunk and then had to pay 80 quid to a | :09:07. | :09:12. | |
locksmith to get back in. That is a dear tax. It is a nice | :09:12. | :09:18. | |
philosophical way of looking at it. And there is a Phyllis up of -- | :09:18. | :09:20. | |
philosophical things where, when you put jeans on you have not warm | :09:21. | :09:26. | |
for a while, and you find a fibre of a tenor, I always consider that | :09:26. | :09:36. | |
:09:36. | :09:41. | ||
a tax rebate. -- a fibre, or �10. Can I ask a question? It is | :09:41. | :09:44. | |
recommended in the UK that the price of the engagement ring should | :09:44. | :09:49. | |
be a month's wages for a man. Would you say that was about what you | :09:49. | :09:59. | |
:09:59. | :09:59. | ||
spend? Roughly, yeah. Roughly under or over? Under. Why did you feel | :09:59. | :10:03. | |
you needed it? Why not go straight to the wedding ring? It is | :10:03. | :10:07. | |
traditional, isn't it? OK. thought I would do what everyone | :10:08. | :10:15. | |
else does. That is a great attitude. Not dissimilar to that adopted in | :10:15. | :10:25. | |
:10:25. | :10:29. | ||
Nazi Germany. In Maidstone that could be applause for Nazi Germany. | :10:29. | :10:39. | |
Our marriages a conversation that got out of hand, honestly. -- our | :10:39. | :10:44. | |
marriage is. We were having a chat, my wife was washing up and then we | :10:44. | :10:49. | |
were booking a wedding. It's true. Me and my boyfriend have been | :10:49. | :10:52. | |
together for five years. We don't want to get married or engaged, we | :10:52. | :10:58. | |
are happy as things are. Last Christmas, you know it is a | :10:58. | :11:05. | |
traditional time to get engaged, we bought a box set of The Wire. We | :11:05. | :11:11. | |
thought that was a long-term commitment. | :11:12. | :11:21. | |
:11:22. | :11:26. | ||
If you can establish that the ring that you used was a family heirloom | :11:26. | :11:31. | |
of the man, he can usually get it back. When William and Katie used | :11:31. | :11:35. | |
his mum's engagement ring, he could have got that back. I suppose he | :11:35. | :11:45. | |
could have had her murdered in the night. We have a picture of the | :11:45. | :11:51. | |
very beautiful Kate Middleton in die and a's ring. I think that is | :11:51. | :11:59. | |
Prince Harry's hand on the left. He is a character! Let me show you | :11:59. | :12:09. | |
something. What you think of this? This is rather stylish, I think. | :12:09. | :12:19. | |
This, believe it or not, is called a mangagement ring. I think you can | :12:19. | :12:23. | |
probably guess what it is. There is a fashion now, certainly in America | :12:23. | :12:27. | |
at but apparently catching on here, of men wearing engagement rings as | :12:27. | :12:37. | |
well as women. Michael Buble, the singer, loving it. Are there Rennie | :12:37. | :12:41. | |
men here who would be quite keen on a mangagement ring? | :12:41. | :12:51. | |
:12:51. | :12:54. | ||
Only if it is worth 1.2 million! The man in a stripy shirt. I have a | :12:54. | :12:59. | |
question. Do you think there is a time when you would take your | :12:59. | :13:03. | |
wedding or engagement rings off and go out for the night? If so, why | :13:03. | :13:11. | |
would you do that? You are not the man from We By Your | :13:11. | :13:20. | |
Gold? Do you wear a wedding ring? would not take it off for the night. | :13:20. | :13:25. | |
I think you know why we would do that. It is like saying, would you | :13:25. | :13:30. | |
try to commit infidelity whilst on the telly? But would you admit | :13:30. | :13:38. | |
that? No. No I wouldn't, and no I wouldn't. | :13:38. | :13:43. | |
We have Dan Flanagan in the audience. Before we speak to you, I | :13:43. | :13:46. | |
would like to show a little clip. Some of you will remember that | :13:46. | :13:51. | |
there was a thing called the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square, which | :13:51. | :13:57. | |
is empty a lot of the time. A lot of people were given an hour each | :13:57. | :14:03. | |
to do whatever they wanted to do on it. Here is a clip of Dan won the | :14:03. | :14:11. | |
4th plinth. -- on the 4th plinth. Can I have you're attention, | :14:11. | :14:21. | |
:14:21. | :14:27. | ||
please? Sam, will you marry me? You had an owl on the 4th plinth. | :14:27. | :14:33. | |
The whole thing wasn't a proposal, was it? No, the first 55 minutes | :14:33. | :14:39. | |
was me, making a fool of myself. What would you have done it sheered | :14:39. | :14:44. | |
said no? You couldn't the proposal at the beginning of it, and then we | :14:44. | :14:48. | |
could have seen you crying for the next 55 minutes. I would have watch | :14:48. | :14:56. | |
that. Maybe chatting up other women? Bringing them up on their | :14:56. | :15:05. | |
left. Yeah, that's the best, cherry picker. Have you since got married? | :15:05. | :15:13. | |
Yes, a year later. We are just about to have a baby, as well. It's | :15:13. | :15:23. | |
:15:23. | :15:27. | ||
Did you go on a plinth to do that, as well? You should call it Charles | :15:27. | :15:36. | |
now. Plinth Charles. You used to make it a massive thing, an | :15:36. | :15:40. | |
engagement, and if you broke it, you could be sued by the woman. | :15:40. | :15:44. | |
There was a breach of promise. It was a really serious thing because | :15:44. | :15:48. | |
the feeling was that the women's reputation had been tarnished | :15:48. | :15:52. | |
because people would say, maybe there is something a bit strange | :15:52. | :16:00. | |
about her. How long ago was this? don't think it was changed until | :16:00. | :16:06. | |
1970, seriously. You could be done for breach of promise. Ridiculous. | :16:06. | :16:13. | |
Times were different back then. We don't mind them a bit shop-soiled | :16:13. | :16:23. | |
:16:23. | :16:24. | ||
now. In those days, it was a do not beat if the scene is broken. I | :16:24. | :16:26. | |
think, personally, this is my own idea, to replace the engagement | :16:26. | :16:31. | |
ring. I think this is rather beautiful. What do you think about | :16:31. | :16:41. | |
:16:41. | :16:50. | ||
I reckon you'd save �1.2 million there. George Michael would love | :16:50. | :17:00. | |
:17:00. | :17:07. | ||
There has been that a report this week are that 51.3% of the | :17:07. | :17:14. | |
population don't sleep or sleeper very badly, and it's becoming a | :17:14. | :17:20. | |
widespread problem. Mainly due to old fashioned stress. It's sad, I | :17:20. | :17:26. | |
know. Anyone here have trouble sleeping? Every night, really. I'm | :17:26. | :17:33. | |
not sure it's my husband snoring. Next door? Next to me, snoring. | :17:33. | :17:38. | |
Worrying about things during the day, the children. Just struggling | :17:38. | :17:43. | |
going to sleep. Have you come up with any methods to help you to | :17:43. | :17:52. | |
sleep? Drug-induced, generally. Lovely. Sleeping tablets? Yes, | :17:52. | :18:00. | |
basically. The things you worry about would be, the children, work, | :18:00. | :18:06. | |
everything. I'm a worrier. The tiniest minor thing. Would you | :18:06. | :18:12. | |
worry about big things, global warming? No, not at all. Famine in | :18:12. | :18:18. | |
Africa? No, I'm quite selfish, because it's all about my life. | :18:18. | :18:28. | |
:18:28. | :18:31. | ||
think that's fair enough. Don't Do you sleep all right? Yes, but I | :18:31. | :18:36. | |
have got methods. I don't live with my partner, so I sleep better when | :18:36. | :18:46. | |
he's not there because he snores as well. And sometimes, I a, sort of... | :18:46. | :18:52. | |
This is going a bit silver Berlusconi is! Sometimes I sort | :18:52. | :19:02. | |
:19:02. | :19:06. | ||
I don't enjoy it. It's purely medicinal. I like the idea of what | :19:06. | :19:15. | |
sorting yourself out. In Wales, they count sheep. Can I ask, has | :19:15. | :19:20. | |
anyone ever actually tried counting sheep in order to get to sleep? Is | :19:20. | :19:24. | |
that just the thing people say? That girl has, I can tell by her | :19:24. | :19:31. | |
expression. I have tried it. It Of you just feel stupid, to be | :19:31. | :19:39. | |
honest. How far did you get? think my record is 33 or something. | :19:39. | :19:46. | |
You keep a record?! I think that might be your problem. But the idea | :19:46. | :19:54. | |
is to let yourself go. This could be a personal best denied. That's | :19:54. | :19:59. | |
not going to help. Is there anyone who admits they get stressed out by | :19:59. | :20:06. | |
things? That man at the back. taxi-driver in Maidstone. OK. I | :20:06. | :20:14. | |
take a point. What is the nature of the stress in your job? You just | :20:14. | :20:19. | |
don't know who you are picking up and you can end up with all sorts | :20:19. | :20:23. | |
in the back of for the have you had to challenge people in the past? | :20:23. | :20:28. | |
Yes, I have, and I have found the golden rule is to not get out of | :20:28. | :20:38. | |
:20:38. | :20:43. | ||
For how many taxis did you lose Anyone got any tips for stress | :20:43. | :20:50. | |
relief? What do you do? That lady at the back with, I nearly said the | :20:50. | :20:56. | |
big hair, but I thought better of it. Dancing. Would you dance on | :20:56. | :21:03. | |
your own in the house? Yes. Really? Do you put music on or is it in | :21:03. | :21:11. | |
your head? You might have headphones on now for lino! -- for | :21:11. | :21:18. | |
all I know! Sleep is the best cure for stress. This is a bed they | :21:18. | :21:23. | |
tried to come up with in the 1950s, and it is supposed to be the answer | :21:23. | :21:33. | |
:21:33. | :21:33. | ||
ANNOUNCER: Adjusted now for sleep, take the bed and lower it for the | :21:33. | :21:41. | |
night. I wrote to the sleeping porch, to return in the same manner | :21:41. | :21:45. | |
in the morning it to the warmer bedroom after a night of rest for | :21:45. | :21:54. | |
I live in south Manchester. I don't think it would be that peaceable. I | :21:54. | :22:03. | |
would end up covered in fireworks and the bed has gone. Sleeping on a | :22:03. | :22:10. | |
house bricks. Public speaking is regarded as one of the absolute | :22:10. | :22:15. | |
most stressful things up as a has anyone had terrible speaking in | :22:15. | :22:21. | |
public experiences? What about this young, handsome man at the front? | :22:21. | :22:25. | |
Yes, when I made an opening speech and I tend to speak very fast when | :22:26. | :22:33. | |
I'm nervous, so people thought I was Welsh. In what context? I work | :22:33. | :22:43. | |
for an organisation bringing people to politics for the. What is it | :22:43. | :22:53. | |
:22:53. | :22:59. | ||
called? I've never heard of it. Bite the ballot. I'll, AC. -- Oh, I | :22:59. | :23:09. | |
:23:09. | :23:10. | ||
see. It's November and also known as Movember. The basic idea is that | :23:10. | :23:19. | |
men are grow moustaches for charity for the. Slightly problematic for | :23:19. | :23:28. | |
me because we used to call homosexuals Mos. For me, it | :23:28. | :23:33. | |
suggests a whole different sort of event. Have you ever had a | :23:33. | :23:39. | |
moustache? I've had a very ginger beard. But I haven't got them at | :23:40. | :23:45. | |
the moment. I spotted that. They're supposed to be a female version | :23:46. | :23:50. | |
because we can't really join in so much with it, but there is a female | :23:50. | :24:00. | |
:24:00. | :24:04. | ||
one recalled Fannuary! That sounds good. I notice there is a man here, | :24:04. | :24:14. | |
:24:14. | :24:14. | ||
with a moustache. They are quite rare at the moment. It is for | :24:14. | :24:22. | |
Movember. Its come on a treat. getting out of hand now but it's | :24:22. | :24:26. | |
got to go until the end of the month to make a valid. Are you | :24:26. | :24:32. | |
allowed to trim it? It doesn't look cool, so you may as well keep it. | :24:32. | :24:42. | |
:24:42. | :24:45. | ||
It does. It doesn't. It moves back to the Movember I thought it was! | :24:45. | :24:51. | |
You have combined all the meanings. When it's weird, and it's just a | :24:51. | :24:56. | |
beard, and that bit there his beard. How much would you have to hate a | :24:56. | :25:01. | |
moustache to grow a beard in isolation. The Amish community, | :25:01. | :25:06. | |
lots of them in America, look at this for a fabulous ante moustache | :25:06. | :25:13. | |
stance. They look like they are passing through clouds of. They | :25:13. | :25:18. | |
look like they are on the last day, don't they? They should be able to | :25:18. | :25:27. | |
pull them down like that. I have got a picture of me with a beard. | :25:27. | :25:33. | |
They used to be men like that on at the news every night in the 1970s. | :25:33. | :25:41. | |
Most of them were not eating at all well. Robert Perez, he used to play | :25:41. | :25:51. | |
:25:51. | :25:53. | ||
for Arsenal, and he looked like he That, to me, looks like he has got | :25:53. | :26:02. | |
a mouth on a stick. This is JD a mouth on a stick. This is JD | :26:02. | :26:12. | |
Samson. I can do that. It's funny you should say that because JD | :26:12. | :26:16. | |
Samson is a woman from the band Le Tigre, and has made a positive | :26:16. | :26:24. | |
stance, why should she works at off? Not keen? Is she growing at or | :26:24. | :26:34. | |
:26:34. | :26:35. | ||
has she had radiation? She is picking up a wife buy signal. -- | :26:36. | :26:43. | |
wi-fi. When you wash your face, do we use shampoo on your beard? | :26:43. | :26:50. | |
yes, you have do otherwise you get dandruff. You can get dandruff. | :26:50. | :26:56. | |
could use a head-and-shoulders up. And it turns. They should bring it | :26:56. | :27:03. | |
out -- and churn ups. You separately do it? What is the | :27:03. | :27:09. | |
process? There is always enough shampoo left Dover, after my hair, | :27:09. | :27:14. | |
to do the front as well -- left over. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. | :27:14. | :27:20. | |
It's very nice and it suits you. Some people, like Noel Edmonds, | :27:20. | :27:26. | |
could you imagine him up without a beard? Do no. Well, let me help you. | :27:26. | :27:32. | |
It looks like he has shaved his lips off as well and his teeth for | :27:32. | :27:37. | |
the maybe that's why he has got a beard. Some people do it to | :27:37. | :27:40. | |
compensate for the if you have got a week jawline, it's a good thing | :27:40. | :27:47. | |
to have. I used to watch swap shop for sub I tell you what I didn't | :27:47. | :27:52. | |
like about it. You know when you have a cover on the back of a sofa, | :27:52. | :27:59. | |
just to give it a bit of... They used to have some really weird ones | :27:59. | :28:08. | |
on Swap Shop. What are you offering? To me, that's | :28:08. | :28:13. | |
inappropriate on a children's TV show. What was he swapping it for? | :28:13. | :28:19. |