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Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Opinionated tonight from | :01:19. | :01:29. | |
:01:29. | :01:37. | ||
Norwich. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | :01:37. | :01:40. | |
Oh, it has been a a strange old week, Michael Barrymore was found | :01:40. | :01:43. | |
face down on the road next to his car and was charged with being | :01:43. | :01:45. | |
drunk and disorderly and possessing Class A drugs. Mr Barrymore | :01:45. | :01:47. | |
explained he had been brought in at the last minute because George | :01:47. | :01:56. | |
Michael was ill. Pisesed and ars holes and think | :01:56. | :02:02. | |
this is not the worse scandal I have been involved in. | :02:02. | :02:12. | |
:02:12. | :02:13. | ||
Gary Barlow spoke to the Oxford Union About multi-culturalism. | :02:13. | :02:22. | |
LAUGHTER That's my favourite. | :02:22. | :02:24. | |
LAUGHTER The Mail on Sunday highlighted a | :02:24. | :02:25. | |
The Mail on Sunday highlighted a case of an unemployed man from | :02:25. | :02:27. | |
Dundee who has 15 children by 13 different women. Here he is. | :02:27. | :02:29. | |
LAUGHTER He is the only man in Britain who | :02:29. | :02:37. | |
combs his ponytail forward! LAUGHTER | :02:37. | :02:40. | |
You heard of fringe benefits, that's what I would call a benefits | :02:40. | :02:44. | |
fringe! His name is Jamie Cumming. | :02:44. | :02:54. | |
:02:54. | :02:55. | ||
Yes. It is also his neighbour's response to, "What's that noise | :02:55. | :02:59. | |
next door?" Nick Clegg has had a rowing machine fitted in his office. | :02:59. | :03:06. | |
It seems to confirm the reports that he is without a paddle! | :03:06. | :03:10. | |
This is a weird one, leaked reports are that Nick Clegg wants to re- | :03:10. | :03:15. | |
brand the Lib Dems in the style of ox fom. Did you -- Oxfam? Did you | :03:15. | :03:22. | |
you read this, if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, if | :03:22. | :03:28. | |
you exchange the manifestoes for a tiny slip of power, you end up in | :03:28. | :03:38. | |
:03:38. | :03:42. | ||
your office rowing against the tide of your own bitter tears. | :03:42. | :03:43. | |
LAUGHTER There are rumours that John Bercow, | :03:43. | :03:46. | |
the Speaker of the House of Commons House of Commons might be a | :03:46. | :03:48. | |
contestant on the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special. Here he | :03:48. | :03:52. | |
is discussing the idea with Claudia winkleman. | :03:52. | :03:55. | |
Coastguards in the Bristol Channel warn that a floating Vauxhall Corsa | :03:55. | :04:03. | |
has become a danger to shipping. LAUGHTER | :04:03. | :04:04. | |
Michael Barrymore is helping police with their inquiries. | :04:04. | :04:06. | |
LAUGHTER Let's get started. Please welcome | :04:06. | :04:16. | |
Katy Brand and Chris Addison. APPLAUSE | :04:16. | :04:25. | |
Hello. Lovely Norwich welcome. | :04:25. | :04:29. | |
Yeah. They're keen, they are like the | :04:29. | :04:35. | |
mustard they're so famous for! OK, let's have our first topic. I | :04:35. | :04:39. | |
have got some statistics. What about this then? One in four | :04:39. | :04:46. | |
British people are dating or have dated someone they met online. One | :04:46. | :04:50. | |
in four have or are. No, I think that sounds about right. | :04:50. | :04:56. | |
One in four people. How many people have or are dating someone they met | :04:56. | :05:05. | |
online? That man. Yes, I have, yes. | :05:05. | :05:15. | |
:05:15. | :05:16. | ||
What would you like to know? LAUGHTER | :05:16. | :05:26. | |
:05:26. | :05:29. | ||
Well, which part of the Far East were they from? | :05:29. | :05:39. | |
:05:39. | :05:47. | ||
LAUGHTER She lives in Cromer. | :05:47. | :05:48. | |
APPLAUSE There is a couple who suggested | :05:48. | :05:50. | |
that for the good of relationships that everybody should share all | :05:50. | :05:53. | |
their passwords with their partner, is that, do you think that's a good | :05:53. | :05:55. | |
idea generally? That lady with the spectacles and | :05:55. | :05:58. | |
the red hair. He comes home from work or wherever he has been... | :05:58. | :05:59. | |
LAUGHTER . | :05:59. | :06:00. | |
. Quite | :06:00. | :06:00. | |
. Quite often | :06:00. | :06:00. | |
. Quite often when | :06:00. | :06:04. | |
. Quite often when he comes home, I will pick up his phone and scroll | :06:05. | :06:09. | |
through his messages and it will be a conversation starter. | :06:09. | :06:13. | |
You pick up his phone and go through his messages. Is that | :06:13. | :06:20. | |
acceptable? Well, it happens. APPLAUSE | :06:20. | :06:25. | |
That wasn't my question, was it? am good at avoiding questions. | :06:25. | :06:27. | |
I bet you are! LAUGHTER | :06:27. | :06:30. | |
Lots of practise. It does prove useful because he is | :06:30. | :06:39. | |
not good at remembering dates and times. Don't forget you have got to | :06:39. | :06:45. | |
meet Delores in a forest! How many people have a Twitter account? | :06:45. | :06:55. | |
:06:55. | :06:56. | ||
A, had ah, you met on Twitter? met on the Race For Life. | :06:56. | :07:05. | |
We have got our T-shirts here. What does your T-shirt say? We are | :07:05. | :07:10. | |
called Norwich Race Chicks. I thought it was a BNP splinter | :07:10. | :07:13. | |
group! Has any of you ever tweeted | :07:13. | :07:19. | |
celebrities? Russell Grant. LAUGHTER | :07:19. | :07:22. | |
Yes, he will reply to anybody! Russell Grant sits in all day | :07:22. | :07:27. | |
replying. No, he replied two days before she | :07:27. | :07:37. | |
:07:37. | :07:43. | ||
sent her initial tweet. LAUGHTER | :07:43. | :07:46. | |
That is quite moving because I don't go on Twitter because I am | :07:46. | :07:48. | |
not that keen on, how can I put it, people. | :07:48. | :07:50. | |
LAUGHTER I like people. I like close, but | :07:50. | :07:52. | |
not touching. You really fit on the wrong format | :07:52. | :08:01. | |
for a show here. I spent a long time for slagging off Nick Robinson | :08:01. | :08:04. | |
for being dreadful and I did that because he is absolutely dreadful | :08:04. | :08:08. | |
and then... I like him. Do you? I will tell you what I like | :08:08. | :08:14. | |
about him, he has gone bald in the best possible way, 1950s, Phillip | :08:14. | :08:17. | |
Larkin. And he has the glasses to go with | :08:17. | :08:21. | |
it. And you don't like him? doesn't tell you the news. He does | :08:21. | :08:26. | |
that thing and you think, "If you want to write a novel, go and write | :08:26. | :08:32. | |
a novel." I remember him starting a piece, "Oh dear, oh dear, what a | :08:32. | :08:36. | |
week it has been for Gordon Brown." I don't know happened after that | :08:36. | :08:40. | |
because I kicked the TV in. I regularly slagged him off and | :08:40. | :08:45. | |
on...... On Twitter? Yeah and in Twitter and in the Times newspaper | :08:45. | :08:52. | |
and any other opportunity I got and when I hosted Have I Got News For | :08:52. | :08:57. | |
You, they booked him as a guest. What happened? He came in and said, | :08:57. | :09:01. | |
"Hopefully, I won't annoy you too much this evening." And I said, | :09:01. | :09:05. | |
"Hopefully, you won't.". When you are new to Twitter sometimes you | :09:05. | :09:11. | |
will see something really, really horrible. Katy Brand, you are an | :09:11. | :09:19. | |
ugly person and you should die. I click on their profile and I see 40 | :09:19. | :09:22. | |
female celebrities that he has tweeted and said the same thing and | :09:22. | :09:26. | |
you don't feel so bad about it and you get on with enjoying the rest | :09:26. | :09:35. | |
of Twitter. It is like standing in a busy pub. And also the people you | :09:35. | :09:40. | |
get to choose who to talk to. That man. Wait for the microphone. I | :09:40. | :09:44. | |
could see the moustache moving, but I couldn't hear you! | :09:44. | :09:49. | |
Here it comes. Here it comes. To go to a real pub, with real | :09:49. | :09:58. | |
interesting rather than virtual people. You can do that as well. | :09:58. | :10:08. | |
:10:08. | :10:08. | ||
You can do both. You can be in a real pub and be bored and looking | :10:08. | :10:14. | |
on your phone. If you and me were tweeting, I wouldn't be put off by | :10:14. | :10:19. | |
the moustache. I was on MySpace for a while. I don't think anyone is on | :10:19. | :10:23. | |
MySpace. There is me and about 2,000 | :10:23. | :10:28. | |
depressed goth teenagers. I am in several chatrooms about self- | :10:28. | :10:34. | |
harming. And have you sold any farms? Farms? | :10:34. | :10:38. | |
Sorry, I misheard you. LAUGHTER | :10:38. | :10:48. | |
:10:48. | :10:50. | ||
No, if I could get... APPLAUSE | :10:50. | :10:53. | |
I think that's the longest I have ever seen it take for an audience | :10:53. | :10:55. | |
to get a joke. It is the comedy version of being | :10:55. | :10:59. | |
behind a tractor. LAUGHTER | :10:59. | :11:03. | |
There is all sorts of problems. My brother, Keith, texts me after a | :11:03. | :11:08. | |
show like this goes and says, "You missed a joke after she said bla- | :11:08. | :11:14. | |
bla, you should have said." And then sends me a joke that I didn't | :11:14. | :11:20. | |
do. We were on this programme and Sarah was on and she said she met a | :11:20. | :11:25. | |
woman on the escalators who had been dumped and said, "Ah, darling, | :11:25. | :11:31. | |
go and have a bowl of trifle." I said, "You bring everything back to | :11:31. | :11:36. | |
puddings." He texted me and said, "Well what you should have said was | :11:36. | :11:45. | |
that because she had just been des deserted." That was a great joke. | :11:45. | :11:47. | |
APPLAUSE Keith, that was your applause. | :11:47. | :11:51. | |
You should have him on. No, he is better on text. | :11:51. | :11:57. | |
So anyway, this week, you may know this, a rocket was launched heading | :11:57. | :12:02. | |
from Mars and what is going to happen is it is going to land on | :12:02. | :12:06. | |
Mars and there is going to be a robot buggy and it is going to | :12:06. | :12:11. | |
drive around Mars and it is called Curiosity and it is going to look | :12:11. | :12:17. | |
around Mars for signs of life. It won't get to Mars until... August. | :12:17. | :12:23. | |
Thank you, who said that? Someone is very interested in this. | :12:23. | :12:29. | |
Are you a space enthusiast? I just read it on the news. | :12:30. | :12:37. | |
So you are not a space enthusiast. When you have not been a space | :12:37. | :12:44. | |
enthusiast? Ever since I realised that they don't land on the moon. | :12:44. | :12:49. | |
My friend believes they landed on the moon. | :12:49. | :12:56. | |
I don't think that makes her some kind of nutter. | :12:56. | :13:06. | |
:13:06. | :13:14. | ||
I know that for a fact due to the footage and proof. | :13:14. | :13:16. | |
LAUGHTER For any of you who are sceptical | :13:16. | :13:19. | |
about this, we have a clip right, Buzz Aldrin, who was the second man | :13:19. | :13:22. | |
on the moon and in this clip he is pursued by a man who is sceptical | :13:22. | :13:23. | |
and who doesn't believe in the moon landing. | :13:23. | :13:26. | |
Well, you're the one getting money for something you didn't do. You're | :13:26. | :13:28. | |
giving a lecture for walking on the moon. That's called being a thief. | :13:29. | :13:31. | |
Do you think you can get to heaven without repenting? Why don't you | :13:31. | :13:34. | |
swear on the Bible that you you walked on the moon? You are the one | :13:34. | :13:39. | |
who said you walked on the moon when you didn't. Calling the kettle | :13:39. | :13:42. | |
black. Will you get away from me. | :13:42. | :13:52. | |
You are a court order and a -- you are a coward and a liar and thiefU | :13:52. | :13:56. | |
thief. Proof that man walked on the moon. | :13:56. | :14:01. | |
I don't have complete evidence because I stayed up to watch the | :14:01. | :14:09. | |
moon landing. I stayed up with my dog and we sat on the sofa to watch | :14:09. | :14:14. | |
the man walk on the moon. My mum and dad went to bed, just me and | :14:14. | :14:19. | |
the dog, we stayed up. They landed on the moon and they sat in the | :14:19. | :14:23. | |
lunar module and in the end I woke up and they they hadn't come out | :14:23. | :14:27. | |
and then I realised there was a flag on the moon that-been there | :14:27. | :14:32. | |
and they had come out and only the Hip et had seen -- whippet had seen | :14:32. | :14:37. | |
it. And it is one of the great regrets of my life. | :14:37. | :14:47. | |
Armstrong said, "One small step for man. "and the whippet went... | :14:47. | :14:50. | |
President Nixon went to meet them when they came back and they were | :14:50. | :14:56. | |
in a little, they had to put him in a metal box because they thought | :14:56. | :15:00. | |
they might bring back terrible moon diseases. This is President Nixon | :15:00. | :15:05. | |
speaking to the three astronauts. I only hope that all of us in | :15:06. | :15:10. | |
Government and all of us in America, that as a result of what you have | :15:10. | :15:14. | |
done, we can do our job a little better. We can reach for the stars | :15:14. | :15:16. | |
just as you have reached so far from the stars. | :15:16. | :15:20. | |
The terrible thing about that box, it is cramped and there are some | :15:20. | :15:30. | |
:15:30. | :15:52. | ||
occasions when it was just LAUGHTER | :15:52. | :15:55. | |
Virgin Galactic will be starting at some point in the near future. I | :15:55. | :15:58. | |
don't know if you are aware of this, but you will be able to go into | :15:58. | :16:02. | |
space, if you pay, you will be able to go on this, we have got a | :16:02. | :16:06. | |
picture. You go on that. It is a six-seater and you go up into space | :16:06. | :16:10. | |
and you are in space for about six minutes or something like that. | :16:10. | :16:16. | |
Actually, I would be more reassured going up in Richard Branson's | :16:16. | :16:26. | |
:16:26. | :16:28. | ||
Virgin Galactic if his houses didn't keep burning down. | :16:28. | :16:29. | |
LAUGHTER When he can maintain a property on | :16:29. | :16:32. | |
earth I will be more willing to go up into a spaceship. | :16:32. | :16:34. | |
Kate Winslet is the fire officer! We asked someone from Virgin | :16:34. | :16:37. | |
Galactic to come along tonight and tell us about it and they said they | :16:37. | :16:44. | |
couldn't get to Norwich! LAUGHTER | :16:44. | :16:51. | |
It is true. APPLAUSE | :16:51. | :16:53. | |
How many people would love to go in the Virgin Galactic thing? | :16:53. | :16:59. | |
Not as many as I thought. What about this lady at the front? Can | :16:59. | :17:03. | |
we get to the front? I think it will be an interesting experience, | :17:03. | :17:06. | |
obviously I can't afford it. Have a guess how much it is? | :17:07. | :17:10. | |
much. LAUGHTER | :17:10. | :17:13. | |
Probably over �1 million at least. No, no, it is �129,000. | :17:13. | :17:16. | |
If it is just that. That would be all right, wouldn't | :17:16. | :17:23. | |
it sf. In five years, Ryanair already doing it for 50 quid. It | :17:23. | :17:27. | |
won't be near space, but you will get a bus the rest of the way. | :17:27. | :17:33. | |
Anyone else who would like to go? What about that chap? I have always | :17:33. | :17:38. | |
been fascinated from a young age. Well, you are a young age. | :17:38. | :17:42. | |
When I was about eight or nine. You have to do three days of | :17:42. | :17:46. | |
training before the flight. Yeah. Are you fine with that? Yes. | :17:46. | :17:50. | |
You would do Mars? Yes, I would go further than that. | :17:50. | :17:56. | |
You would do Mars and you don't get there until August? Yeah, probably. | :17:56. | :18:01. | |
I doubt girlfriend would appreciate Well, you say that. | :18:01. | :18:03. | |
LAUGHTER What do you do for a living? | :18:03. | :18:13. | |
:18:13. | :18:16. | ||
I work in a Christmas shop. LAUGHTER | :18:16. | :18:18. | |
You are not bothered about spending nine months of the year away. | :18:18. | :18:28. | |
:18:28. | :18:28. | ||
You can book now and people have booked. Are they going to adopt an | :18:28. | :18:38. | |
alien. Michael choux Mcer is booked on -- | :18:38. | :18:42. | |
Michael Michael Schumacher. Would you want to be on with Stephen | :18:43. | :18:48. | |
Hawking. Can you imagine being on with a bigger know all and James | :18:48. | :18:51. | |
Lovelock, he is a 92-year-old scientist and this is something, | :18:51. | :18:57. | |
what about this, when you get older, you are not as affected by G-force | :18:57. | :19:03. | |
as younger people. You know G-force, as you get older because your face | :19:03. | :19:12. | |
is shit, it means it just flops, your eyes are like there. If you | :19:12. | :19:16. | |
open your mouth really wide, your skull comes out of your head. | :19:16. | :19:24. | |
Brilliant. LAUGHTER | :19:24. | :19:28. | |
How many people in here believe in at least the possibility of aliens? | :19:28. | :19:33. | |
Oh a lot. Really a lot. So Timothy Good is in | :19:33. | :19:43. | |
:19:43. | :19:47. | ||
the audience tonight. Hello Timothy, you are a ufolo gist? I wouldn't | :19:47. | :19:54. | |
call myself that. On the fen non numb, -- on the phenomenon, yes. | :19:54. | :20:01. | |
Do you find people are sceptical or open? I myself am sceptical about | :20:01. | :20:07. | |
the evidence. Up to 90% of all UFO reports can be explained in | :20:07. | :20:12. | |
conventional terms. However, I would say millions of people | :20:12. | :20:15. | |
worldwide have actually seen the real thing. | :20:15. | :20:19. | |
Why do they come here? Because they don't seem to make formal contact? | :20:19. | :20:23. | |
They have made formal and informal contact with thousands of people | :20:23. | :20:27. | |
throughout the world from all walks of of life. | :20:27. | :20:32. | |
Why don't they go to Barack Obama, someone who it is worth approaching. | :20:32. | :20:39. | |
He is busy. I can tell you in 1955, the | :20:39. | :20:46. | |
president had three encounters set- up meetings with aliens which took | :20:46. | :20:54. | |
place at certain Air Force bases and many witnesses... Hold on. | :20:54. | :20:58. | |
LAUGHTER What? How could we not know about | :20:58. | :21:02. | |
that? A lot of this stuff has been published. | :21:02. | :21:09. | |
Isn't it a big story? Well, apparently not, it has been | :21:09. | :21:12. | |
published, no one has taken any notice of it. | :21:12. | :21:20. | |
Have you personally had... OK this was in 1967 I was with the London | :21:20. | :21:30. | |
:21:30. | :21:49. | ||
symphony orchestra, I am also a professional fiddler... | :21:49. | :21:50. | |
LAUGHTER And I had learnt from several | :21:50. | :21:53. | |
people that about their encounters with some of these people, the more | :21:53. | :21:56. | |
human types of aliens, they look very similar to us and I had learnt | :21:56. | :21:58. | |
they are highly tell owe pathic and sometimes you can initiate meetings | :21:58. | :22:01. | |
and this was my second experience which I will describe. This was in | :22:01. | :22:04. | |
New York. I sent out a tell pathic message, I sat in the in the lobby | :22:04. | :22:07. | |
of the Park Sheraton Hotel and I sent out in my my mind, "If any of | :22:07. | :22:10. | |
you guys are around, I would like some proof." After half an hour, a | :22:10. | :22:17. | |
man came in, he was about 5'10" and immaculately dress in a... A space | :22:17. | :22:24. | |
suit? He came and sat down beside me and he had a case from which he | :22:24. | :22:28. | |
pulled out the New York Times and he turned the pages over very | :22:28. | :22:32. | |
slowly one by one and folded the newspaper and put it back in the | :22:32. | :22:37. | |
case and put it back and I said in my mind, "If you are the guy I | :22:37. | :22:41. | |
think you are, take your right index and hold it to the right side | :22:41. | :22:48. | |
of your nose and keep it there." And it went. | :22:48. | :22:52. | |
You definitely said it in your mind? I did. People say why didn't | :22:52. | :22:55. | |
you talk to him? I didn't and that's the fact of the matter. I | :22:55. | :23:01. | |
regret that I didn't speak. So he left? He left and he looked at me | :23:01. | :23:03. | |
seriously for a while and then he left and that was it. | :23:03. | :23:08. | |
What I like about it, it is quite under stated. There is no probes up | :23:08. | :23:14. | |
bums or anything like that. This was a British alien not an | :23:14. | :23:19. | |
American one. The Americans always put the probes up the bums. We have | :23:19. | :23:29. | |
:23:29. | :23:30. | ||
the encounters with the newspapers. You get the aliens you deserve. | :23:30. | :23:31. | |
LAUGHTER I would like to talk about the | :23:31. | :23:34. | |
concept of bucket lists. OK, now in case you are not familiar with this, | :23:34. | :23:37. | |
a bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you kick the | :23:37. | :23:44. | |
bucket. That's the idea. And one of the most common ones is to swim | :23:44. | :23:49. | |
with dolphins. Anyone who has swum with dolphins here? Oh, quite a few. | :23:49. | :23:55. | |
That lady with the stripy top. Yeah. I swam in Mexico and it was really | :23:55. | :24:05. | |
:24:05. | :24:07. | ||
good. I did enjoy it and they did it well. They swim beautifully. | :24:07. | :24:09. | |
LAUGHTER Anyway, what do you make of the | :24:09. | :24:12. | |
whole bucket list idea? It is just one more thing to feel | :24:12. | :24:15. | |
guilty about. We are told to achieve so much in the rest of our | :24:15. | :24:19. | |
lives, now we have to do it in our time off. And we have to panic | :24:19. | :24:23. | |
ourselves that we haven't bungy jumped. | :24:23. | :24:26. | |
Is there anyone had has some burning ambition they want to | :24:26. | :24:32. | |
fulfil like this, you do? Box a kangaroo. | :24:32. | :24:34. | |
LAUGHTER What would do it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, | :24:34. | :24:44. | |
:24:44. | :24:55. | ||
I can't stand them.. LAUGHTER | :24:55. | :24:58. | |
Now we have a picture of a woman called Gert y Painter. | :24:58. | :24:59. | |
LAUGHTER Gerty Painter when she was 97, she | :25:00. | :25:02. | |
decided she wanted to try abseiling. Has she got a Tutu on. | :25:02. | :25:05. | |
I hope it is a Tutu. It could just be loose skin. This is a woman, she | :25:05. | :25:08. | |
is 100 years old and called Claire Ormiston. We have got a picture of | :25:08. | :25:14. | |
Claire. This was her wish for her 100th birthday. That's a male | :25:14. | :25:24. | |
:25:24. | :25:25. | ||
stripper. That's a packet list! LAUGHTER | :25:25. | :25:27. | |
I'm not completely convinced that it was this lady, Claire, who | :25:27. | :25:29. | |
wanted the... We have footage of the moment when she had this | :25:29. | :25:34. | |
supposed wish come true. Claire Ormiston had no doubts when she was | :25:34. | :25:40. | |
asked what she wanted for her 100th birthday, a stripper gram and step | :25:40. | :25:50. | |
:25:50. | :25:52. | ||
in the stripper to deliver the birthday treat. It was mum's idea | :25:52. | :25:56. | |
actually. We were asking what she would like for her party and she | :25:56. | :26:00. | |
came up with one or two suggestions including the first suggestion was | :26:00. | :26:07. | |
a seat on the moon. That's pretty impossible and then Barbara the | :26:07. | :26:12. | |
matron asked her if if there was anything that she would like and | :26:12. | :26:18. | |
she said, "Mm, a stripper.". she say a seat on the loo and a | :26:18. | :26:28. | |
:26:28. | :26:32. | ||
slipper? LAUGHTER | :26:32. | :26:35. | |
The one thing I have always really wanted to do. I once had a horse | :26:35. | :26:45. | |
:26:45. | :26:46. | ||
stood on my foot and I pushed it to get it off and it nearly fell over. | :26:46. | :26:48. | |
LAUGHTER And ever since then I thought not | :26:48. | :26:51. | |
to hurt it, but I really love to push a horse over. There is a thing | :26:51. | :26:53. | |
called cow tipping. Teenagers go around and push cows over while | :26:53. | :26:56. | |
they are asleep. LAUGHTER | :26:57. | :27:04. | |
Have you never heard of it? I don't want to hurt hurt it. We have | :27:05. | :27:09. | |
Richard Wilson in the audience. Not him. Richard, you wrote a book... | :27:09. | :27:15. | |
did. About bucket lists? Yeah. Is it fair to say that your stance | :27:15. | :27:22. | |
is Annie? I am extremely anti- actually. | :27:22. | :27:23. | |
Why is that? The people who make those lists up and tick them off, | :27:23. | :27:26. | |
they are waving their new experiences in the faces of | :27:27. | :27:32. | |
ordinary people and dull people like me whereas if new and exciting | :27:32. | :27:42. | |
:27:42. | :27:45. | ||
experiences are something good. LAUGHTER | :27:45. | :27:48. | |
They are to be treated with extreme caution and I'm often shunned. If | :27:48. | :27:51. | |
you take the view that something is either too far away, too expensive | :27:51. | :27:55. | |
or too dangerous, you can eliminate a range of things and concentrate | :27:55. | :28:01. | |
on the important things in life. Actually, a lot of great | :28:01. | :28:04. | |
philosophies are about you should have what you want, you should just | :28:04. | :28:09. | |
have less. I have written a book for Catholics | :28:09. | :28:16. | |
called 101 Things To Do After You Die. | :28:16. | :28:23. | |
The Muslim version of that is racier. | :28:23. | :28:28. | |
I'm not going there. I hope to do a few things before I die. | :28:28. | :28:32. | |
Zblu must have been -- you must have been to exciting places? | :28:32. | :28:39. | |
have seen the at that stage ma -- imagine ma hal. | :28:39. | :28:45. | |
How was that? Disappointing. Has anyone got any unusual bucket | :28:45. | :28:51. | |
list list items? Not you, but that lady with the blond hair and the | :28:51. | :28:55. | |
woman behind you was going... LAUGHTER | :28:55. | :29:03. | |
What's your burning ambition? want to get a hug off Frank Skinner. | :29:03. | :29:06. | |
Would that be on your bucket list? Yeah. | :29:06. | :29:14. | |
We might need a bucket! I'll meet you there on the stairs. | :29:14. | :29:24. | |
:29:24. | :29:28. | ||
This is the big ambition. That's lovely. | :29:28. | :29:30. | |
APPLAUSE You are my son-in-law now. | :29:30. | :29:36. | |
That's a very unusual ceremony. Nos Norwich, -- that's Norwich, isn't | :29:36. | :29:40. |