Episode 1 Gavin and Stacey


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Episode 1

Comedy series. The newlyweds return from honeymoon to a big welcome from both families. Smithy seems unhappy with his best mate, however, and Nessa has a confession to make.


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Transcript


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Babe! Where are you?

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-You just walked off!

-I know.

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There was this woman next to me in a veil, fiddling with her shoe

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and I thought, "Oh, my God, terrorist!"

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Oh, right. So you were gonna just leave me here to get bombed.

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I know. And I do feel bad. But I WAS gonna text you.

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Oh, well that's all right then...

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-Look, where are you?

-By Nothing To Declare.

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Have we got anything to declare?

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I don't think so... Are you sure you don't want to get Nessa any fags?

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No. She's given up.

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-What? Since when?!

-Oh, I dunno. Anyway...

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I got her a Greek flag for her collection, that's what she wanted.

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-Come on, I'm excited!

-Why?

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I just love walking through and all the people looking.

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I pretend like I'm really famous. HE LAUGHS

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-What you doing?

-Oh, come on, join in!

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-Lift it up! They won't see it!

-Why can't you just hold it?

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-I feel like a right pillock.

-Oh, that's lovely, that is.

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Your son and his wife have been away for over three weeks.

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-22 days...

-I am not going over this again, Michael... Mick!

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Mick! Michael! Will you look at me?

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Everybody's staring at us.

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Yes! And you know why?

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Because they're thinkin', "Look at that lanky mardy-arse who can't even be bothered to hold up a banner,

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"a BEAUTIFUL banner, that his wife spent three hours preparing last night!"

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It only took three hours cos you couldn't spell Stacey!

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-I KNOW how to spell it. I just got confused.

-What?

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Because of the big pen.

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Oh, here they are!

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Gavin! Gav!

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-Gav, oh, come here, my little prince!

-All right, Mum?

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-Hiya, Stacey.

-Hiya!

-Welcome home!

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All right, Dad? Nice banner.

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Oh, do me a flavour.

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-So, good time?

-The best!

-Yeah, fantastic.

-How was the hotel?

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-Was the hotel nice?

-Oh, lush. Stunning!

-Yeah, really nice.

-And was the pool nice?

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-There were four!

-One with a bar!

-Was the food nice?

-What about the food?

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-It was OK.

-It was really nice, but a lot of fish.

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-Really? We had mackerel last night, didn't we?

-Yeah, we did.

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-And I had a tuna sandwich for lunch.

-Weird!

-And what about the staff?

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-Were the staff nice?

-Yeah, the staff make a hotel.

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-Yeah, they were OK.

-Tell you what, Stacey, when we were in Corfu, oh, those little shits...

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-Have I told you this already?

-No, go on.

-Yeah.

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Well, we asked them to change the bedding every day, which personally I don't think is a big ask.

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-I mean we're talking four-star hotel.

-It was five AA diamonds.

-Yeah.

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Well, one night me and Mick got into bed and I said to Mick,

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"There is no way these sheets are fresh," and I've rung down to reception.

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I just didn't believe him, so I've decided to lay traps.

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So I've put two wine gums INSIDE the pillow case, Mick's side,

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come back this one afternoon...

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Mick's been snorkelling, I've had a hot stone massage and I've looked at the bed and I knew straight away,

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-cos you know when you know, don't you?

-Yeah.

-So Mick's reached in,

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and he's pulled out the very same wine gums that I had placed there not three hours earlier.

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I hit the roof, didn't I, Mick?

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-I'll say.

-So I've got him by the throat, this Stelios Cycliades,

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-and I'm saying, "Look me in the eye and tell me that those sheets..."

-MOBILE RINGS

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Hang on a minute, it's Bryn. Hello?

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Come in, London. Can you hear me?

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-Hiya! We're back!

-Whereabouts are you?

-We've just got onto the M25.

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And according to the nav, we're an hour and ten minutes away.

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-Hello, Mrs Shipman!

-Hiya, Gwen!

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-Oh, no, Pam, I meant Stacey.

-Oh, sorry! I thought you meant me!

-So did I! Hiya, Mum!

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Hiya, Stace! Hiya, Gav!

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-Hiya, Gwen. All right, Bryn?

-Welcome home, young man! Do you have a tan,

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-are you bronzed?

-A little bit, yeah.

-Oh, I can't wait to see it!

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Hiya, Ness!

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Nessa's not here, luv!

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Where is she? Have you spoken to her? Is she OK?

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Yes, but there wasn't room for all your stuff...

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..in the Picasso, so she's following on. I'll try her on the radio.

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Nessa? Come in, Nessa, do you read me?

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1-9 Rubber Duck.

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Ho, Bryn... I'm not gonna tell you again, you can't call me "Nessa" on the airwaves.

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-You got to use my handle.

-What is that?

-My code name.

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-Robert Mugabe.

-I'm sorry, Robert.

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-I keep forgetting, what's my name?

-Bryn.

-No, my handle.

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I know we're in the car, but we did say...

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-Dame Judi Dench.

-That's it! Dame Judi Dench. Now, I'm on the line to our London contingent

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and I've given them an ETA of ten past five. Is that do-able for you?

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Well, I got my foot down, Jude. I can do no more. 10-4.

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MUSIC: "Before I Fall To Pieces" by Razorlight

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Well, here we are! Home sweet home!

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Ah, let's have a look at you in the daylight...

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-Oh, you have gone a nice colour... haven't they, Mick?

-Yeah, it suits you.

-I am jealous.

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-When are you takin' me away? Sardinia, I fancy.

-Give us a chance. I'm still paying off the wedding!

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It was a lovely day, wasn't it, Gav?

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-Yeah.

-It was lush.

-But you know your Auntie Christine still hasn't spoken to your cousin John

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after all that business with the dessert?

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-Really?!

-It was just a joke.

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There's a joke, then there's smearing somebody's face in cake

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-till they nearly choke to death.

-She didn't choke!

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The woman's diabetic, Gav, she was terrified.

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He did look vicious as he did it.

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-He gets like that, John.

-But nothin' else happened with Smithy or...?

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-Oh, he was absolutely... wasn't he, Mick?

-Poleaxed. Blotto.

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Him, Dirtbox, and Chinese Alan.

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Fell asleep in the lift. Up and down they was going for an hour.

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-And they all had rooms. What a waste of money!

-Right. I'm putting the kettle on. Who's for a cuppa?

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-I'll have a coffee.

-Yeah.

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But he's all right though, Smithy, is he?

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You know what he's like. Always a drama.

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-Why, what's happened?

-Nothing serious.

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-He's been pining for HIM!

-What?

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-But nothing...y'know...big?

-No, I don't think so.

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-Oi! Where d'you think you're going?

-What?

-Come here.

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I mean, it IS weird...

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-gettin' used to being Stacey Shipman.

-Yes...

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I remember being very disappointed the day I lost my maiden name.

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-What was it?

-Griggell-Eschefska.

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Pamela Andrea Griggell-Eschefska.

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Which, you know, always felt quite glamorous.

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And then in the space of one day, to go from that to Shipman...

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You know, Ship Man.

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I felt quite flat if I'm honest with you, the day after we got married.

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Felt like I'd lost my identity.

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You know, like Anne Frank. After they found her.

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-Your cases are in your room.

-Cheers, Dad.

-While I remember, sort your washing out ASAP.

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I've got a white wash ready to go on tonight cos your dad's run out of pants.

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-You've had to go commando today, right, Mick?

-What?

-You've no drawers on.

-Mum!

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She's right. I'm flappin' around like an elephant's trunk down here.

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-Dad!

-Elephant's trunk? I should be so lucky!

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Yeah, yeah.

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-CAR HORN

-Oh, here they are.

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-Hello, Gwen!

-Galimera! Ooh, continental!

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-Hello, Bryn!

-Galimera! Oh, yes. That's Greek for good morning. I learnt it!

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# Ta-ra-TA-ta-ta-ra-TA-ta... #

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-Hiya!

-Oh, Gavin! Galimera! And look what I've had done!

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"My niece went to Greece and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"!

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-But she DIDN'T get it for you.

-Yeah, we got you a bottle of Cinzano.

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I know! I got it printed for a joke!

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Where d'you get it done?

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Online! I did it five weeks ago.

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-For a joke!

-Before the wedding? Before they got married?

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Yes! For a joke!

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-TRUCK HORN

-That'll be Nessa.

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HISS OF BRAKES

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ALL: Hiya, Ness!

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-All right?

-You made good time then?

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Yeah. The road's been kind to me, I won't lie to you.

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She can be a cruel mistress, the M25, but today I've been lucky.

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All right, Bryn? Pam? Gav? Mick?

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-Gwen? Stace?

-Don't you need a special licence to drive one of them?

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Not for the seven and a half ton, you don't. But I've driven them bigger than that, Mick.

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I drove the sets for The Who on their world tours. Great days.

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Till I found out things about Pete Townshend I didn't like.

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And all I'll say is... and I said it to his face...

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Where is the book?

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-Right...cup of tea.

-ALL: Yeah! Cup of tea!

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-How did the T-shirt go down, Bryn?

-Mixed reviews.

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Yeah, it was March '89 I quit.

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-That's when I went Stobarts.

-Eh?

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-Eddie Stobarts.

-Really?

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Yeah. I was with Eddie and the boys for 18 months, all told.

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You had a little soft spot for him, didn't you?

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I did, Bryn, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I wasn't his type, apparently.

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Since when has a great rack and an open mind not been a man's type?

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Is he still alive, Eddie Stobart?

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I think so. He's a deeply religious man. Very generous.

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Gave you two trucks, didn't he?

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He did. And I regret selling them now Bryn, to be honest, but they were a bugger to park around Barry.

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-Everyone all right with a Chinese takeaway?

-Yes.

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-You don't want to be cooking.

-It's just easier, innit?

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-DOORBELL

-We could go out.

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-Yeah! Can we go to that Italian?

-Capriccio's?

-Yeah, let's go to Capriccio's!

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Hey! Smithster!

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-Smith?

-Hello, Smithy, darling.

-Hello, everyone.

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-Hello, Smithy.

-All right, Bryn?

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What's going on?

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What's going on?!

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What's going on?!

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I've been asking myself the same question over and over again in my head.

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First thing in the morning, last thing at night. What IS going on, Gavin?

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-What?

-I've been ringing you every day for three weeks. Your phone's been off!

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Is that all?!

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-You haven't told him, have you?

-I was on my honeymoon!

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Right. Can we all stop calling it a honeymoon, right? It's just a holiday!

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Yeah, but it wasn't just a holiday. It was the best time of my life.

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When I went to Malaga with Lucy and her nanna, I called you every day, sometimes twice.

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-Sometimes thrice!

-Back off, Mick.

-You were only ringing for the West Ham scores!

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That was an excuse, you fool!

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I was getting the updates on my mobile. I was ringing you cos...

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I was ringing you cos I missed you.

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-Smithy!

-I missed you these last three weeks an' all.

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It's been horrible. I ain't been myself, I've been off my food.

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-He's been round here every day.

-No-one's been out. They're all shacked up with their birds.

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-What about Lucy?

-She's been grounded for two weeks.

-Why?

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-Her dad found ten B&H in her bag.

-Went ape-shit. I'm gonna go. I just wanted to check you're all right.

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-Smithy!

-He DID miss you, Smithy!

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He did.

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He talked about you every day.

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Give him the present.

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-What, now?

-BOTH: Yes.

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It's the one we read about.

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In Nuts magazine.

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Yeah.

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Well, thank God for that.

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Look, we're going out to dinner. You coming?

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Capriccio's? ALL: Yeah!

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'Course I'm coming!

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-It's lovely to see you, Bepe.

-Always a pleasure.

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And congratulations to the new couple, eh?

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Dawn? Mum, it's Dawn!

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-Ohhh! Hi, Dawney!

-Hello, you two!

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-Fancy seein' you here!

-Hi.

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Hello!

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You remember Bryn, don't you?

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Stacey's uncle from the wedding?

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Yes.

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Lovely! Look, they're back!

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Came back this afternoon, didn't you?

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Did you have a nice time?

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Oh, it was fantastic.

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-Yeah, and thanks for those vouchers. Really kind.

-Not a problem.

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DOOR OPENS

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-This is Seth.

-Hello.

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-He works at the butchers.

-He's a colleague of mine from work.

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-I never knew you were a butcher, Pete.

-Yes. Yes, I am.

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Don't let us hold you up.

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Right! Well, enjoy your meal. We'd better...

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Yeah.

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-SHE MOUTHS

-Yeah.

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And no olives. Thanks, Bepe.

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Ooh.

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Now. This is a tough one.

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I'm in a bit of a pickle here.

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You might have to come back to me.

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No, no! I've got it!

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It's a toss up between the gnocchi,

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the carbonara,

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the pollo tagliatelle...

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..or the risotto.

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I'll come back to you.

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I'm having the gnocchi. There it is, Pam. It's the gnocchi.

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Apologies for the wait, these things take time. Hey, Gwen!

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I've gone with the gnocci! Mick, I'm having a wonderful time.

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-And for you?

-Si. Buona sera.

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-Buona sera.

-Voglio ordinare bruschetta per tutti.

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E qualcosa da bere?

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Eh...due bottiglie di vino rosso,

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due di vino bianco e acqua minerale per me.

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E per pranzo?

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-Prendo...l'osso bucco alla milanese con verdure e patate.

-Certo.

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Tidy.

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-Signor Smithy?

-Er...just a caesar salad, thanks.

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No dressing.

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I'm joking. I'm having a steak!

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Medium.

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-So in the second week, Gavin organised this boat trip.

-Yeah.

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This company pick you up, and they give you a hamper and they take you to this island...

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-this deserted island.

-Yeah, there's nobody there. Just us.

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It's like being on Lost.

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-We went skinny dipping completely in the nuddy, didn't we?

-Yeah.

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And in the last week we went paragliding.

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-I'm going to the toilet.

-I've always wanted to do that!

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We did it, didn't we? In Santorini.

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Oh, yeah. Gwen, it is horrible.

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-What is it? I want to know! Para what?

-I'll be back in a minute.

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Paragliding, you're sat in the sea, and then this boat, a speed boat,

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which you're attached to, slowly moves off and gathers speed and you move up with it.

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Good God! Into the sky?

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Alright, Stace?

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-What's occurring?

-What you on about?

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You know what I'm on about.

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Smithy. You haven't told him, have you?

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-No.

-Why?

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I thought about it and I decided not to.

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Look, I barely knows the kid. And what I do know, I don't like.

0:17:250:17:30

-You said you were going to tell him that night, at the wedding.

-I nearly did.

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But I took one look at his disgusting face...

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-He's not disgusting, he's cute in his own way!

-He's vile. And he's English.

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-Well, now you're just bein' racist.

-It's not racism, it's xenophobia.

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Stop being so childish. These aren't reasons, they're excuses.

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Look, I don't want to tell him cos then I'd have to admit it was really happening. And I can't.

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But it IS happening.

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And whether you like it or not, Smithy's sat out there eating bruschetta,

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unaware that you're pregnant with his child.

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What?!

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So. Now, let me get this straight.

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I'm attached to a boat,

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but I'm in the air,

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flying,

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-holding on to a parachute.

-Yeah, that's it.

-It's quite safe!

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Well, stone me, Mick. I've heard it all now!

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That's nothing. First time we all went away, to Magaluf,

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Budgie... You remember Budgie? He was at the wedding?

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The ears? He ain't been out of Essex before,

0:18:280:18:31

he's barely been out of Billericay. We get there, and there's this cliff hanging over the sea.

0:18:310:18:36

-What was it, like, 500 feet up?

-It was about 80 feet.

0:18:360:18:39

We've just got off the coach, and fully clothed, Budgie just runs off the cliff, and jumps in the sea.

0:18:390:18:44

-Comes up to the surface.

-Spittin' water everywhere.

-He looks up and he shouts...

0:18:440:18:47

"Someone's spilt some salt in here!"

0:18:470:18:50

He'd never been in the sea before!

0:18:500:18:53

-Gnocci?

-Gnocci? Who's for the gnocci?

0:18:530:18:56

-You are!

-Of course! Sorry, yes!

0:18:560:18:59

I thought I'd gone risotto! I am the gnocci!

0:18:590:19:03

-Lasagne?

-That's Gwen's. I'll go and get them.

-That looks good, Bryn.

0:19:030:19:07

Oh, Ness... I know it doesn't feel like it now, but this might be the making of you.

0:19:070:19:12

-Cheers, Gwen. Genuine.

-Come on, you lot, your food's getting...

0:19:120:19:16

Everything OK?

0:19:160:19:17

-You better come in.

-What's happened?

0:19:170:19:20

-Shall I tell her?

-Tell me what?

0:19:200:19:23

DAWN SOBS

0:19:230:19:26

Dawn! What's the matter, Dawny?

0:19:260:19:29

Dawn!

0:19:300:19:32

-SHE SQUEALS

-Oh, stop it!

0:19:320:19:34

DAWN, stop it!

0:19:340:19:37

Seth's gone.

0:19:400:19:42

-Who's Seth?

-The...fella.

0:19:420:19:46

We met on the internet.

0:19:460:19:49

Our counsellor said we could inject some passion into our relationship

0:19:490:19:53

if we introduced a third party to the bedroom.

0:19:530:19:56

-Fair play.

-So, we've been emailing each other for weeks.

0:19:560:19:59

All leading up to tonight.

0:19:590:20:02

And it was going so well, Pam.

0:20:020:20:04

But as soon as we start discussing the whys and the wherefores, y'know...

0:20:040:20:10

-Boundaries.

-Codewords.

-Yeah.

0:20:100:20:12

As soon as we start talking about that, he says...

0:20:120:20:16

He says...

0:20:210:20:23

he's very sorry

0:20:230:20:26

but our photo is not representative of the two of us as a couple,

0:20:260:20:30

and he feels he's been misled. He can't go through with it.

0:20:300:20:34

(I mean, the shame of it, Pam!)

0:20:350:20:38

Yes, it was an old photo.

0:20:380:20:40

But have I changed that much in 15 years?

0:20:400:20:43

No, Dawny! You're beautiful.

0:20:430:20:48

Thank you, Pam.

0:20:480:20:50

What you lot doing in here anyway?

0:20:530:20:55

Nessa's pregnant. BOTH: What?!

0:20:570:21:01

And Smithy's the father.

0:21:010:21:03

Oh, my Christ!

0:21:030:21:05

Right, I'm gonna start. This is ridiculous. Bryn, pass the pepper.

0:21:050:21:09

Cor, that's a big one.

0:21:090:21:11

-I can barely get my hand around it.

-Should have seen this one in Greece, in this restaurant.

0:21:110:21:16

-Oh, will you please give it a rest?

-What?

0:21:160:21:18

-Is that gonna be it now? "In Greece" this, "in Greece" that?

-I only got back today.

-Oh, not this again.

0:21:180:21:22

-I'm sorry, but it's like I don't even know him any more.

-Eh?

0:21:220:21:25

You're paragliding, eating hampers, you're not even having beer - you're drinking wine for some reason.

0:21:250:21:30

Yeah, well, beer is quite fattening.

0:21:300:21:32

-Says who - your wife?

-Oh, come on, mate. I'm back now.

-I mean,

0:21:320:21:36

did you think of me once when you were away?

0:21:360:21:39

-Course I did.

-When?

-What d'you mean?

-When did you think of me?

0:21:390:21:43

Tennis.

0:21:490:21:50

We were gonna play tennis, but Stacey's rubbish, so we didn't.

0:21:500:21:54

But I thought, "If Smithy was here now, we'd have a great game."

0:21:540:21:57

We would, an' all. D'you want to play tomorrow?

0:22:020:22:05

-I can't. I'm picking up the wedding photos.

-For God's sake!

0:22:050:22:07

I'm gonna find out where they've got to. This is ridiculous.

0:22:070:22:11

You all right, Pete?

0:22:140:22:16

Michael Shipman!

0:22:170:22:20

Mick Shipman!

0:22:200:22:22

What's it like to be you?

0:22:220:22:23

-Where's Dawny?

-I mean, you got the looks,

0:22:230:22:26

-you got the wife, you got the girth.

-What?

0:22:260:22:30

Would you say I was a good-looking bloke? I mean, do you think I'm attractive?

0:22:300:22:34

Well, right now you've got black teeth.

0:22:360:22:38

Have I really?

0:22:380:22:41

Mick! Mick!

0:22:470:22:49

Pete is absolutely battered!

0:22:500:22:53

-Never mind that! Just get in here.

-What?!

0:22:530:22:57

What's going on? We're all sat out there...

0:22:570:23:01

Dawn? You all right?

0:23:010:23:04

-Seth's gone.

-Who's Seth?

-The big black boy.

-The big black fella.

0:23:040:23:08

-They met him on the Net. They were gonna have a threesome but he took one look at them and bolted.

-Blimey.

0:23:080:23:13

And Nessa's pregnant.

0:23:130:23:16

What?!

0:23:160:23:17

ALL: And Smithy's the father.

0:23:170:23:18

-Does he know?

-No.

0:23:180:23:21

Where's Pete? Mick, is he all right? Have you seen him?

0:23:210:23:25

Well... Yeah, I saw him just now.

0:23:250:23:27

-He's sat there, drinking. And laughing.

-Oh.

0:23:270:23:31

Will you go and get him for me, please... I need my Pete.

0:23:320:23:36

-Go on.

-All right.

0:23:360:23:39

You're very lucky, you two.

0:23:390:23:41

I've never had what you'd call a BEST friend.

0:23:410:23:45

I had acquaintances, many. But never anyone...y'know, BEST.

0:23:450:23:48

And I suppose that's because I always had Trevor,

0:23:480:23:52

God rest his soul. But, of course, he was my brother.

0:23:520:23:54

So that didn't really count.

0:23:540:23:56

And, I've always been close with Nessa...

0:23:560:23:59

-But that's as far as it goes.

-I'll be back in a minute.

0:23:590:24:02

PETE LAUGHS

0:24:020:24:06

-You all right, Dad?

-Yeah. Give us a hand, will ya?

0:24:060:24:10

I said we should've got a new photo done - been honest, warts an' all.

0:24:100:24:17

But what do I know?

0:24:170:24:18

-Where we going?

-Ladies' toilets.

-What?

0:24:180:24:22

So...are you gonna keep it?

0:24:220:24:24

-Yeah.

-Are you?

0:24:240:24:27

Yeah. I am. I thought about it long and hard, no word of a lie,

0:24:270:24:31

but then I watched Vera Drake,

0:24:310:24:33

twice, and I thought, no, I can't be doing with all that.

0:24:330:24:37

-Well, in that case, you have got to tell him.

-She's right.

0:24:370:24:40

-But I don't want him involved.

-That's not up to you, my love.

0:24:400:24:43

There's two of you in this.

0:24:430:24:45

-Oh, my Pete! Are you all right?

-Seth's gone.

-I know.

0:24:450:24:49

-Who's Seth?

-The black fella.

0:24:490:24:50

They met on the Internet, they were gonna have a three-way but he didn't want to. He changed his mind.

0:24:500:24:56

-And Nessa's pregnant.

-What?!

0:24:560:24:58

ALL: And Smithy's the father.

0:24:580:25:01

I'll be your best mate.

0:25:050:25:07

Will you?

0:25:070:25:09

-Well, I sure as shit ain't got one any more have.

-Come on, Smithy...

0:25:090:25:13

You're a young man. You've got your whole life ahead of you.

0:25:130:25:17

-You don't want to be tied down to an old fogey like me.

-You're not old, Bryn.

0:25:170:25:23

Are you? How old are you?

0:25:230:25:26

That, young man, is a gentleman's prerogative.

0:25:260:25:31

Anyway, it's not how old you are, it's how you are old.

0:25:310:25:36

You are so funny, Bryn. You know that?

0:25:370:25:40

You crack me up every time!

0:25:400:25:44

Not like him, the useless sack of shit.

0:25:440:25:47

Hey now, come on. You're crossing the line there, son.

0:25:470:25:51

He's in love.

0:25:510:25:54

And there's nothing you can do about it.

0:25:540:25:56

I love you Bryn-la, I do.

0:25:560:26:00

Let's meet up.

0:26:000:26:02

Every weekend. In Swindon.

0:26:020:26:03

-Just me and you.

-Really?

0:26:030:26:05

-Yes!

-All right, you're on!

0:26:050:26:08

Do you want some of Gwen's lasagne?

0:26:080:26:11

-Bring it on!

-All right, let's do it! Come on!

0:26:110:26:15

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

0:26:180:26:20

-You've got to tell him tonight.

-I know.

-I can't believe it. How long have you known about this?

0:26:200:26:24

-About three weeks.

-You've known for three weeks and you didn't tell me?

-I tried!

-Not that hard.

0:26:240:26:29

Don't argue, my loves, it's not worth it.

0:26:290:26:33

I love you, Dawny.

0:26:330:26:35

-You know when we were away, and I said I had something to tell you?

-Yeah.

0:26:350:26:39

I told you Nessa was in the original line up of All Saints, but she left cos she didn't get on with Shaznay?

0:26:390:26:44

-I was trying to tell you then.

-So you made all that up?

0:26:440:26:46

No. That was true.

0:26:460:26:48

-It was a power struggle.

-Look, none of this matters, who told you when, and what have you.

0:26:480:26:54

What matters is, the person who HASN'T been told is the person that SHOULD'VE been, and he's out there.

0:26:540:26:59

-Who, Bryn?

-No.

0:26:590:27:02

Smithy.

0:27:020:27:04

I'll come to Wales, you can come up here.

0:27:040:27:07

I'll go to church with you.

0:27:070:27:08

We'll just hang out. You know, like best mates do.

0:27:080:27:12

Do you think Mick will mind if I finish this last slice of pizza?

0:27:120:27:15

So what if he does? I'll back you up.

0:27:150:27:18

Cos that's what best mates do.

0:27:180:27:20

Oh, Smithy.

0:27:200:27:22

-I got something to tell you.

-What?

0:27:230:27:27

I'm pregnant.

0:27:270:27:30

And you're the father.

0:27:300:27:32

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:440:27:47

Stacey and Gavin return from honeymoon to a big welcome from both families. Smithy seems none too happy with his best mate, however, and Nessa has a confession to make that throws the whole evening into disarray.