The Proposal Him & Her
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
I've just moved in with the world's biggest idiot. ..I've moved in. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
Congratulations! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:06 | |
'This programme contains strong language and adult humour.' | 0:00:06 | 0:00:11 | |
There's this bloke called Graham at the gym | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
-and he was saying that I should... -PAUL! | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
You look lovely in that. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
I look disgusting. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:18 | |
As if. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:19 | |
Right, I'm off to Pilates. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
-Do you want a lift, lover? -Graham's here. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
We got robbed at work and they took my phone. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:25 | |
Oh, bloody hell. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:26 | |
Oh, don't. Laura's in there. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
There's this bloke called Graham at the gym. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
Paul. We're going. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:32 | |
You are being so suspicious today. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
What's this? | 0:00:35 | 0:00:36 | |
Don't you dare get married before me. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Think at one point you thought I was going to ask you to marry me. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:44 | |
Why would I want to marry you? You fucking stink! | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
Don't ask her to marry you, Steve. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
Look, I know we like to have a bit of banter, the two of us, | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
but let's just be serious for a minute. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
And I will be talking to your dad as well. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:55 | |
If you ask her to marry you, I'll break your fucking neck. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
How was your gran? | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Ugh. Boring. All she does is talk about dead people. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
Ugh. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:15 | |
They're dead. Get over it. Do you know what I mean? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
What have you been doing? | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
What? | 0:01:25 | 0:01:26 | |
I made a bit of a mess in the bedroom. It's horrible. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
You'd better have a look. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:32 | |
Have you done a poo in there? | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
No, of course I haven't done a poo in there! | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
Do you honestly think I'm the sort of man who'd do a poo | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
in his bedroom and get his girlfriend to go and look at it? | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
Just go and have a look. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
Do you know what I mean though? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:50 | |
Just cos someone's dead, doesn't make them interesting. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:01:58 | 0:01:59 | |
Steve! | 0:01:59 | 0:02:00 | |
Have we got a new telly? | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
And... | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
Ah! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:14 | |
And also... | 0:02:15 | 0:02:16 | |
-It's cider. -Oh, my God! | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
9%. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:23 | |
Wait there. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:26 | |
Oh, you got Skittles. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
What are you supposed to do when you see your doctor in the street? | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
Fuck me. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
What's that? | 0:03:09 | 0:03:10 | |
I saw my doctor at a bus stop and I didn't know | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
whether to say hello or not. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:15 | |
Oh. Ha! | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
It's kind of awkward, isn't it, cos he's, like, 60 and | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
he's a nice bloke but at the same time he's had his finger up my arse. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
Have you had some? | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
No. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
Wow! | 0:03:36 | 0:03:37 | |
No wonder it was only a tenner. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
So... | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
Why are you being creepy? | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
I'm not. What do you mean creepy? | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Shutting the door. Your face. It's creepy. Stop it. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
Would you mind if I just said something? | 0:03:57 | 0:03:58 | |
That's such a creepy thing to say. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
Becky. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:01 | |
OK. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
My dearest, darling Rebecca. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
Today is our first anniversary. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
Rebecca? You're such a knob! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Just let me finish. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
Ooh. I haven't taken my pill. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:20 | |
Like them, by the way. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:23 | |
OK? | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
Yep. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:34 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:04:34 | 0:04:35 | |
It's just Dan. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
My dearest, darling Rebecca. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
Sorry! | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
Today is our first anniversary. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
Becky! Steve! I need your help with Laura! | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
Seriously. When they've gone, I'm going to rip the piss out of you. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:05:03 | 0:05:04 | |
She's been drinking. She called me from a phone box. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
-Shut up, pig. -Are you OK, Laur? | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
She was groping me. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:15 | |
I was trying to get her off the bus. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
Any excuse. Any fucking excuse. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
Don't do that, Laura. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
Shut up, pig. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:26 | |
Do you want to call Paul? | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
Yep. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:28 | |
I am not going in there and there's nothing you can do about it. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:32 | |
Come on. Let's go and have a lie down. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
Don't touch me! | 0:05:34 | 0:05:35 | |
She doesn't wash her hands when she pisses. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:39 | |
I wash them after a poo. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:40 | |
Paul? | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
No, it's Steve. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:45 | |
Come on, Laura. Let go of the door frame. There's a good girl. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
Don't I, Laura? I wash them after a poo. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
Mm-hm. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
-He's on his way! -Tell him I love him! | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
OK. She loves you. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:57 | |
He loves you too! | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
-He's lying. -OK. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Get your hands off me. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:07 | |
What's going on? | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
Sorry. Becky's sister's poorly. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
Nice dressing gown. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
Thanks. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
And you. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:20 | |
Present? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
Yeah. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:23 | |
Me too. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
Have you got it on the back? | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
Yeah. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:28 | |
Bye then. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
Bye. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:35 | |
I went to see Granny. She sends her love. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
She's a wrinkly old fuck. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
She's excited about the baby. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
Shall I get my tits out? | 0:06:43 | 0:06:44 | |
No. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
Laura, that's our dinner! | 0:06:46 | 0:06:47 | |
Shush, Steve. I'm trying to eat. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
For God's sake. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:50 | |
Where's Paul? | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
Don't do that. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:55 | |
Where's Paul, you blow-job?! | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
He says he's at Pilates with Graham. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
He's a fucking liar! | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
OK. Becky, can I have a word? | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Yes. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
I feel sick. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
I'll get you something. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:09 | |
You'll feel better if you're sick. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
When I was pregnant with Kieran... | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
When you were pregnant with Kieran, you were fucking enormous. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
Becks? | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
Paul's not at Pilates. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
I know. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:28 | |
He says that when he's with some fucking whore! | 0:07:29 | 0:07:32 | |
No! | 0:07:32 | 0:07:33 | |
Wow. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
Are you OK? | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Sorry. Bit of an over-reaction. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
Yeah! | 0:07:41 | 0:07:42 | |
Come here. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
I think that's the first time I've ever been called a blow-job. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
Yeah? | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
Ooh. Chicken. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
She's so drunk. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
(It's horrible.) | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
She wiped her hands on the duvet. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
Like you've never done that. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
Don't give her anything. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
I'll just make her a Resolve. Don't be such a blow-job! | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
(Pilates? As if Paul's going to Pilates.) | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
Why are you being such a blow-job? | 0:08:17 | 0:08:18 | |
Becky! | 0:08:18 | 0:08:19 | |
I think you'll find my name is Rebecca. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
No. No. Becky! | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
Don't be a dick. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:23 | |
Becky! | 0:08:23 | 0:08:24 | |
Steve, you're being annoying! | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
Becky... Just fuck off! | 0:08:26 | 0:08:28 | |
What the fuck was that? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:33 | |
Look. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:38 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:08:38 | 0:08:39 | |
Sorry. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:42 | |
Get the door. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:08:51 | 0:08:52 | |
Hi, Steve. I was wondering if I could borrow some limescale remover. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
I was wondering if I could borrow some limescale remover? | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
My flat's covered in limescale. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
Is that just an excuse to come in? | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
Yeah. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
Thanks. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:25 | |
Shelly texted, said she was here. I've written her a poem. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:30 | |
-Yeah? -Yeah. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
I'd love some feedback. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Not now, mate. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
Um...I'd change that. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
Really? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:55 | |
And I'd take out that line. That bit, those two lines. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
That whole section... Pretty grim. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
That line. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
That line | 0:10:04 | 0:10:05 | |
And that line. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:08 | |
And I wouldn't end on the word "bollocks". | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
-Really? -Yeah. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
Lucky I ran it past you. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
Laura wants to get her tits out. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
Becky! Come and have a look at them! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
Coming! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:22 | |
They're nice! | 0:10:22 | 0:10:23 | |
OK, Laur. Let's get you up, shall we? Paul will be here in a minute. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
I want to sit on the floor. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:33 | |
It's not nice on the floor, come on. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
Bring the chicken. He's not at Pilates. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:39 | |
He says that when he's out with some slut. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
Drink your water. Come on. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
I want to show Steve my tits. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
I'm fine. I can see 'em. Fine as they are. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
-Becks? -Yes? | 0:10:49 | 0:10:50 | |
Can I talk to you in the kitchen? | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
I'm all right, thanks. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:53 | |
I got ID'd. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
Did you? | 0:10:55 | 0:10:56 | |
They were like, "Are you over 18?" and I was like, "Yes." | 0:10:56 | 0:11:01 | |
I've still got it. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
Look at the pig. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:08 | |
Don't be mean. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:09 | |
Come on. Drink your water. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
He says he's at this Pilates with this Graham, but he's not. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
Laura! | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
Sorry, Shell. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:25 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
No. It's fine. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:28 | |
Maybe Laura and Shelly should wait outside for Paul. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
They're fine. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
Steve, what do you love most about me? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
I love everything about you. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:43 | |
Do you want to look at these? | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
No. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:46 | |
Will you go on holiday with me, Steve? | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
Yes. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:49 | |
-Becky? -Come and have a nuzzle. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:52 | |
-DOORBELL RINGS -Paul! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
I'll get you some more water. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
You are so ugly. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
It's fucking killing me! | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
Where is she? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:41 | |
Bedroom. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:42 | |
I should go, Paul. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:44 | |
No. Wait. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
Um...everyone, this is Graham. Graham, this is everyone. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:52 | |
Nice to meet you all. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
Graham's my friend. From Pilates. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Yes. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:58 | |
I'll wait in the car. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
No! I'll be two minutes. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:03 | |
Why are you speaking to me like this? | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
I'm not speaking to you like anything. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Paul! | 0:13:09 | 0:13:10 | |
Listen to yourself, Paul. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
Paul! | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
What? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:17 | |
Where have you been? | 0:13:17 | 0:13:18 | |
Pilates. Have you been drinking? | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
I had a glass of wine with my lunch. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
For fuck's sake Laura, you're pregnant. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
-He seems nice. -Yeah. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
Laura, come on. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
(I've written you a poem.) | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
Will you read it to me? | 0:13:32 | 0:13:33 | |
I WAS at Pilates. Look what I'm wearing! | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
Graham picked me up from work and we went to Pilates. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
No, you didn't. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:39 | |
Laura! That's not for you! | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
It's for the baby. It sends him to sleep. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
Laura! | 0:13:46 | 0:13:47 | |
Laura! Stop it! | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
You're better than the telly. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
You make me wobble like a strawberry jelly. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
Strawberry jelly! | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
When I see you my heart bangs and wallops. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
And I like what you look like when you suck on my... | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
..heart. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
I had to change the ending. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
'Graham! Come here!' | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
No, it's brilliant. I love it. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
Honestly, darling. You have to believe me! | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
Who's this prick? | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
This is Graham. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:22 | |
Who is it? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:25 | |
This is Graham. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:26 | |
This is my friend Graham, who I go to Pilates with. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
Graham? | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
Hello, Laura. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
Yes, I'm Graham. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
Lovely to meet you at last. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I've heard a lot about you. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
Tell her. We've just been to Pilates, haven't we? | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
Yes. We've just been to Pilates. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
I slipped a disc last summer | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
and it's actually rather good for the posture. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
See? | 0:14:54 | 0:14:55 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
SHE GIGGLES | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
So he hasn't been with some fucking whore? | 0:15:07 | 0:15:11 | |
No. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:12 | |
Well, I hope not, anyway. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
No. Of course not. Those days are behind me. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
Oh, my God! Paul! | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Have you got a stiffy? | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
No. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
Laura! | 0:15:34 | 0:15:35 | |
I'd better be off. Nice to meet you all. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
Yes. Lovely to meet you. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:40 | |
Yes. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:41 | |
That is just sick. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:47 | |
Graham, one minute. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Look at the pig. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
Laura, don't be horrible. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:52 | |
You're a fucking mess. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
OK, Laura. Calm down. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
Have you no shame, pig? | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
Why are you marrying her? | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Well, it's... | 0:16:10 | 0:16:11 | |
Well, we've paid for the venue. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
OK. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:21 | |
Graham. Please. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
We can't do this. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:27 | |
Yes, we can. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
It's not fair on me, Paul. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
Graham. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
Please! | 0:16:43 | 0:16:44 | |
You smell like a pig and you stink like a pig. > | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
All right? | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
No, Laura. You can't speak to me like that. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
You're just so unpregnant, it makes me want to shit. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
(Come on.) | 0:17:27 | 0:17:29 | |
OK. I'm going to leave now, Laura. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
Go get that spastic to flick your flaky little bean. Go on. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:36 | |
Pig! I'm speaking to you! | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Pig! | 0:17:38 | 0:17:39 | |
Just shut up! | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Ooh! | 0:17:41 | 0:17:42 | |
I am not a pig! I am Shelly! | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
All right. Go flick your bean, Shelly. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
Paul! | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
No! I will not go flick my bean! | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
You're going to be someone's mother! You cannot behave like this! | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
This is not on! I will not stand for it any longer! | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
It is not on! | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
You might have financial problems, and you and Paul | 0:18:01 | 0:18:04 | |
might have other problems too, but that's no excuse. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:09 | |
We don't have problems, do we? | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
No, of course not. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:12 | |
See? Silly fat pig. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
Laura! I am not a pig and this is not on! | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
Sometimes you're really not a nice person! And you're getting worse! | 0:18:18 | 0:18:22 | |
Go fuck yourself, you slag! | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
I am NICE! And I am only ever nice to you! | 0:18:24 | 0:18:29 | |
And you just make me cry! I go home and I cry! | 0:18:29 | 0:18:33 | |
Because of you! | 0:18:33 | 0:18:34 | |
And you keep doing this to people and you'll have no friends left | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
and I'm going to piss my fucking pants when that happens. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
I'm going to have a party, and everyone will be there, | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
and you won't be invited and it'll be exactly what you deserve! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:47 | |
It'll be exactly what you deserve because you are a nasty, | 0:18:47 | 0:18:50 | |
ignorant, cruel FUCKING BITCH! | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
You make me cry, Laura, | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
and you'll die alone, and I will dance on your grave! | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
I will dance for hours on your stupid grave, | 0:18:59 | 0:19:05 | |
you horrible, BLOODY BITCH! | 0:19:05 | 0:19:08 | |
You do know I'm pregnant, don't you, Shelly. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
Incredible. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:27 | |
Excuse me, everyone. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:30 | |
Paul. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:35 | |
Are you OK, my beautiful? | 0:19:39 | 0:19:40 | |
Dan, that... | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
Well, that was horrible. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
I can't explain why I did what I did, | 0:20:33 | 0:20:34 | |
but you have to know, I had a really good reason. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:38 | |
Yeah? What's that then? | 0:20:38 | 0:20:39 | |
I can't tell you. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:43 | |
Wow. OK. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:44 | |
Oh, for God's sake. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
You OK? | 0:20:49 | 0:20:50 | |
We were having a really nice night. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
I know we were. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:57 | |
No. Please! | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
I didn't mean to hurt you. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
Becks. I didn't mean to hurt you! | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
So why did you? | 0:21:10 | 0:21:11 | |
Where are you going? | 0:21:13 | 0:21:14 | |
For a walk. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
I swear on my mum's life, there's a perfectly good explanation. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
I'm really sorry for hurting you because I'd never want to hurt you. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
Please. Becky. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
No! Becky! | 0:21:24 | 0:21:25 | |
The ring's in the... Don't go anywhere. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
It was in the bread bin. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
It was all part of a... | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
I had this. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
I'd learnt it. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:54 | |
It was all part of, like, a plan, | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
which is why I didn't want you going in the bread bin. | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
And we were going to drink this. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
I nicked the glasses from The Goose. I'm so sorry. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:08 | |
I just didn't want you to find it. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
I'm so, so sorry, Becks. Please don't go. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
I swear on my mum's life. I swear on your life. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
I swear on my life and I'd swear on everything. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:19 | |
I am so sorry. I beg you, please don't go anywhere. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:24 | |
How long have you been planning this? | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
Ages. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:30 | |
Are you going to read it to me or not? | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
This? | 0:22:34 | 0:22:36 | |
Do you want me to? | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
OK. Here? | 0:22:38 | 0:22:39 | |
My dearest darling Rebecca - Becky. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:45 | |
Today is our first anniversary but it feels like our 50th. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:54 | |
The world began when we met. | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
It's like we've spent our whole lives in bed | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
and getting interrupted by Dan and Laura. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
Everything else in the world is so boring except for you. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
I get bored when you're on the loo. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
We're the same person. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
You're as different from me | 0:23:12 | 0:23:13 | |
as one of my arms is or one of my thoughts is. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
When I first met you, | 0:23:16 | 0:23:17 | |
I didn't think it was possible to love someone more. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
Now every day, I find that it is. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:21 | |
The days go by so quickly and we grow up and our lives change | 0:23:21 | 0:23:25 | |
but the one certain thing in all of it is that I'll always be with you. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
So I've got something I want to ask you. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:31 | |
That was when I was going to take the dressing gown off. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:37 | |
Then what? | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
Well, then there was this thing. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
Shall I get it? | 0:23:48 | 0:23:49 | |
Like in Deal Or No Deal. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
You have to choose one, I'll open it and it'll give you the answer. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
Sure? | 0:24:23 | 0:24:24 | |
You can swap. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:27 | |
My mum helped me make 'em. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:50 | |
That's so cool. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
Then there was more. Shall I? | 0:24:56 | 0:24:57 | |
I know we say we don't believe in it, | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
but what's so bad about getting married? | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
We'd get to spend the rest of our lives together. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
We could be a little family. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
And we don't have to be dicks about it. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
We don't have to have a big wedding. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
We don't have to invite any arseholes. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
I'd just like to marry you... | 0:25:22 | 0:25:23 | |
because I'd get to call you my wife. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
And I'd be so proud. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:30 | |
We'd never have to worry about anything ever again. So... | 0:25:32 | 0:25:37 | |
Well, you've really fucked this up, haven't you? | 0:25:52 | 0:25:54 | |
Have you asked my dad's permission? | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
How did that go? | 0:26:04 | 0:26:06 | |
How do you think? | 0:26:06 | 0:26:07 | |
Well, I'm not getting married in a bloody church. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:15 | |
We can do it literally anywhere you want. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
Of course I'll marry you, you silly prick. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
Thank God for that! | 0:26:36 | 0:26:38 | |
I'm so sorry about... | 0:26:46 | 0:26:47 | |
Ssh! Don't worry. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:49 | |
I'm so sorry. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:50 | |
I can't believe I hurt you. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
I just... I'm so, so, so, so sorry. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 | |
Oh, yeah. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:04 | |
One more thing. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:07 | |
# Come closer, come close and listen | 0:27:15 | 0:27:19 | |
# The beat of my heart keeps on missing | 0:27:19 | 0:27:23 | |
# I notice it most when we're kissing... # | 0:27:23 | 0:27:26 | |
You are such a pillock. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
# Come closer and cuddle me tight | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
# My heart goes boom bang-a-bang boom bang-a-bang | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
# When you are near | 0:27:36 | 0:27:39 | |
# Boom bang-a-bang boom bang-a-bang | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
# Loud in my ear | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
# Pounding away, pounding away Won't you be mine? | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
# Boom bang-a-bang-bang all the time. # | 0:27:46 | 0:27:49 | |
Subtitling by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:27:53 | 0:27:56 |
