The Local Millionaire Hospital People


The Local Millionaire

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It's your job to make my rotas work!

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You've put eight days down.

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There's only seven days in a week!

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Yes, I know, but it should still be workable.

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-How? We can't make up an extra day of the w-w-w...

-VIDEO SKIPS

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-..with respect...

-You're breaking up!

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-..most moronic...

-How is this happening again?

-..ever heard.

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-You have to make an eight-day week work.

-What?

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In last week's targets, the nurses were two days off.

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Give the nurses two days off?

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-No!

-Great, Susan!

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SHE SIGHS Is there any way round this happening every time

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I have a video meeting, Sunny?

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Well, you could go to actual meetings,

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rather than doing them all from your office.

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I mean, that one was only one floor down.

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I'm a very important senior staff member.

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I don't have time to go to meetings.

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I just need a video call that doesn't cut out every two minutes.

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Right, who's next?

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You have a paediatrics conference call

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with Mike Hunt and Anita Hardcock.

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Yeah, well, I might do that one face-to-face.

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-RADIO JINGLE:

-One of the UK's favourite DJs!

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Ivan Brackenbury!

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Hello, Ivan Brackenbury here. How you diddling?

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The clock on the wall says 09:02 in the morning,

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or 21:02 in layman's terms.

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Coming up later I'll be live at another department

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finding out what exactly they do.

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-BOING

-What exactly they do!

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That's right!

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Thanks again to colonoscopy for their live demonstration yesterday.

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I'm sorry I broke your equipment.

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Maybe next time warm it up a bit?

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OK, it's time now for my charity appeal.

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-BOING

-Charity appeal!

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Yeah, that's right.

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MELANCHOLY MUSIC Henry's just eight years old and needs your help.

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Henry's going blind and needs an operation.

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If we can raise just £30,000,

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then we can take Henry to America

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and we can help him see again.

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So very sad.

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UPBEAT: Right, here's Katrina & The Waves!

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MUSIC: Walking on Sunshine By Katrina & The Waves

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Wow, Ivan, we've had more donations in for Henry.

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Some of the nurses clubbed together. Look - there must be over £800 here!

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Amazing! It's so good to see the nurses taking some time out

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to help someone for a change.

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Put it on the totaliser.

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Five grand! That's miles more than you've ever raised.

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I know! Where were this generosity

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when we were raising money for the new headphones?

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Well, this is for an eight-year-old to have a sight-saving operation.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Don't make any sense.

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DOOR OPENS Oh, there you are.

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Would it kill you to pick up your phone?

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Yeah, sorry about that, my phone's still doing that weird thing

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where it's not getting any of your calls.

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SHE SIGHS

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Anyway, you'll never guess who's been admitted. Tony Jackson!

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Who?

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You know, Tony Jackson, the guy who runs Jackson's Pallets in town.

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Oh! Maybe I should get my autograph book(!)

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Maybe I could have a selfie with him while I'm there(!)

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I thought you'd be interested.

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He's that millionaire who's donated loads to the hospital before.

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Make sure he's got a decent bed - somewhere with a view.

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-What ward's he on?

-He's still waiting for a bed.

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Sunny! We can't have him waiting for a bed.

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We've got a duty of care here at Brimlington.

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Just chuck someone else out and make room for him.

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One of the tracheotomy patients, they won't say anything.

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That screening van out the front? I donated that. 50 grand.

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Four dialysis machines. 20 grand each.

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You can't fart in this hospital

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without it touching something I've paid for.

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I actually donate a lot to this hospital, too.

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Psychic readings, holistic healing practices.

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And I give that to the patients for free,

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even though some of them insist I don't have to.

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I don't believe any of that rubbish.

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If you're psychic, how come you ain't won the lottery?

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How do you know I haven't?

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Your haircut.

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You do get the sceptics

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what poo-poo what you do-do.

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But they don't get to me. They're just boring.

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Can you imagine two sceptics at a party?

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"Hello, what's your name?"

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"Nigel."

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"Is it? Where's your evidence for that?"

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Put him on ward five, that's the best view.

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But have it cleaned top to bottom first, though.

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And a fresh coat of paint!

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Make sure all the patients are presentable, no nasty tubes.

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And no coughers!

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-Why do we need to do all this?

-He's a millionaire donor,

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and we're a hospital with a massive funding black hole.

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One cheque from him and this hospital's biggest problem could be solved.

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-What, the MRSA rates?

-No!

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The serious lack of high-speed video conferencing facilities.

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If we show him a good time, who knows how much he'll give us.

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Great. I'll get the nurses to give him round-the-clock bedbaths, then.

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That should keep him happy.

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That's a very good idea.

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Tell them they don't have to do anything they're uncomfortable with.

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But it's for the good of the hospital,

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so now's not the time to be shy.

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As a psychic, I'm a strong conductor of spirits from the other side.

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The other side?

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Sounds more like you're talking out of your backside.

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You've obviously no understanding of what it takes to be a medium.

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No.

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I'm a large!

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When I was 15, I left school.

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Only had five pound in my pocket.

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I spent that on pallets.

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I made six quid.

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I spent that on pallets.

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40 years later...

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..I've got an indoor swimming pool

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and a wife with a 50 grand boob job.

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I owe it all to pallets.

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All right, all right.

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Hey, ward five. How you doing?

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Oh, come on, it's a hospital, not a morgue. You can do better than that!

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Right, I'm going to go out, going to come back in,

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I want a big ward five welcome, all right?

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All right, here we go!

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I love this hospital chapel, it's like a home.

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Especially since I upgraded the Sky to the movies.

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But nothing beats getting out there and spreading the Lord's word.

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It's like a sailor on shore leave.

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You feel cooped up after a while.

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It's nice to get out and have some fun.

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Not sexual. You know, I'm celibate through choice.

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Not mine.

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She's hurt her leg, just like that. Do you know what I call her?

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Eileen. Do you get it?

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Broke my leg in three places, Father.

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Wouldn't go to those places again, then.

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-I was literally about to say that. Tommy Cooper!

-The best.

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My all-time hero. He's what got me in to this business.

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-What, religion?

-No, comedy!

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Actually, Father, there was something...

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-Father Kenny.

-Tony Jackson.

-What you in for, Tony?

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You'll never believe this. Swallowed a ten pound note.

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I've got this! And the doctor said, "No change".

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You've got it!

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No, I collapsed this morning.

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Eating a bacon butty.

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Oh, and the bacon - lean back?

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-Very good!

-HE LAUGHS

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No, it's not a joke.

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They don't know what's wrong with me, and they're running some tests.

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Oh! Oh, well, listen. I'm doing a service later.

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I like to put some jokes in it. Might be really up your street?

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Be great to see you there.

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-I might come.

-Oh, great, Tony. See you later.

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I've got to walk this one.

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HE BARKS

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It's a dog on a lead.

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Listen, you've been fantastic.

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I'm Father Kenny, I'll see you later.

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HE CONTINUES TO BARK AND TONY LAUGHS

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Right, which one's Tony?

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Sleeping mouth open or fat and laughing?

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Fat and laughing.

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Mr Jackson? Susan Mitchell, hospital manager.

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I am so sorry to hear about your fall.

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I'll be up and about in no time.

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Takes more than a fall to keep Tony Jackson

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from doing a hard day's graft.

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Yes.

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I've brought you a selection of magazines.

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If you want anything more "top shelf", just ask Sunny.

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I know you men have your needs.

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Am I getting preferential treatment?

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No, I do this for all the patients.

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I never got magazines.

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Sunny, give that man a magazine.

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Practical Carpentry or Carpworld?

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Anything you need, just call and I'll come running.

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I'm impressed, Susan. You've got the personal touch.

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A lot of managers sit on their arses making calls.

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But not you.

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The way I see it, Tony, is these aren't patients. They're family.

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I feel the same way about pallets.

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Oh, speaking of family,

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I always think a family is at its best when it stays in touch.

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And the best way to stay in touch is with high-speed video conferencing facilities.

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Have you seen the nurses anywhere? I need the toilet.

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Could you take me to the toilet?

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-We're actually in the middle of something!

-Susan?

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Family member in need of help.

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Er, I mean, yes, of course.

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Why don't you come with me, I'll... I'll follow you. After you.

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Yeah.

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Blimey. She makes a change from the last manager here.

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He was useless. Whatever happened to him?

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He was promoted.

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I try not to give my patients names because it tends to humanise them.

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I identify them by...traits instead.

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It's like farmers, they don't name their pigs because they know,

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in a week or so, that pig'll be sausage.

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Now it's time for the answers to What Am I?

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-RADIO JINGLE:

-What am I?

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That's right, remember the question. I am made of wood.

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I am long and thin and I'm usually found in flooring.

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What am I?

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What am I?

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Well, none of you got it.

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I am a plank.

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OK, another one of those tomorrow.

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This is going out to little Henry who, with your help,

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might just see again.

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This is Bright Eyes.

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MUSIC: Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel

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You'll never guess who that was.

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Er, Art Garfunkel. Next question.

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No, on the phone. That was Brimlington Echo!

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They've heard about Help Henry. They want to put him on the front page this afternoon.

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-Oh, brilliant!

-I said I'd send them a photo. Can I use the poster one?

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Yeah. It's a good picture of him, in't it?

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Shame me nephew's in it,

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but it's the only decent picture I've got of Henry.

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Ivan?

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Is Henry a rabbit?

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Yeah.

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You never said he was a rabbit.

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Do you not think that maybe people maybe assumed he was the boy in the photo?

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No.

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Don't you think that's why they're donating so much money?

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No. People like rabbits.

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Just played Bright Eyes, it's a song about rabbitses eyes.

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No-one's going to make that mistake. They're not stupid.

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KNOCKING It's Mrs Leydon!

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Come in!

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I hope you don't mind, but we had a special collection in church today

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for little Henry. Poor boy.

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Just wanted you to know, he's in all our prayers.

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Oh, thank you so much!

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Oh, my gosh, look, Shaz. All this money!

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You've nothing to worry about. Henry's going to be just fine.

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HE GIGGLES GLEEFULLY

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Uh-huh.

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Yeah? OK.

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They're saying you've just been on Safari, looking at the animals?

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-No.

-Maybe not Safari,

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-but this could be Firefox?

-No.

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-Chrome?

-No.

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-Looking at kittens?

-No.

-OK.

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Uh-huh. And you've got a half brother.

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-I haven't.

-Yeah, you have.

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-Is that a hair piece?

-No.

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-Herpes?

-No!

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Did you sense that?

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There's someone trying to make themselves known.

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CREAKING AND KNOCKING

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Spirits, do you have a message for us?

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-GRUFF VOICE:

-Keep the noise down. I'm working nights!

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Oh, very clever(!) The spirits have gone.

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Now you've gone and ruined it for everybody.

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Honestly.

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There you are! Look, I think you might need to deal with the isolation ward,

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there's a serious problem with your new outbreak procedures.

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Forget about that, Sunny. This is important. Sit there.

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I'm going to practise my pitch on you for Tony Jackson.

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-We want this high-speed video conferencing.

-Well, no, you do.

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And we've literally got our very own dragon trapped in the hospital.

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He's not literally a dragon, is he?

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I didn't mean literally in the literal sense.

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Now, take a seat, I'm about to astonish you.

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Yeah, you normally do.

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I am great at pitching business ideas.

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No-one forgets my presentations.

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I always hang around after to listen in to see how they went down,

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and I'll often hear someone saying "What a pitch!"

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With better video facilities,

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key managerial staff, like me, will be able to work anywhere.

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The gym, home, even on holiday - as these figures show.

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Er, what's that?

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Oh, for goodness' sake!

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I clearly told the printer put the pen drive on the boards!

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Looks like they did it literally. In the literal sense.

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Oh, for goodness' sake!

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Right, open your hymn books.

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Hymn number 105 - Morning Has Broken.

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# Morning has broken

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What's it broken like?

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# Like the first morning

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What did the blackbird do?

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# Blackbird has spoken

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What'd he sound like?

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# Like the first bird

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-What we giving praise for?

-# Praise... #

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Hey, Tony, mate! You made it.

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Just thought I'd pop by, see what all the fuss is about.

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He looks cross.

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Not in the chapel.

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-That's what she said.

-Come on!

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Normally you get one funny man and one straight man.

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But me and Tony are both funny.

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Neither of us are straight.

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I didn't, I didn't mean that! God, he'll laugh when I tell him that!

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OK, who's best?

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-IN A POSH ACCENT:

-Good moaning.

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Good moaning.

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I was just pissing by the door.

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-IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-You stupid woman.

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-IN A GERMAN ACCENT:

-Ze fallen Madonna with ze big boobies.

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Shall we have another hymn?

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All right, Mrs L. Just Me and Tony have got something going on here.

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-Right, were we?

-Dunno.

-Think.

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All right, all right. Didn't expect the Spanish inquisition.

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Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!

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THEY LAUGH

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All right, another hymn, Mrs L. All right.

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If you fancy a laugh, I've got a thing going with the hospital radio DJ.

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Fake requests. Do you fancy it?

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Yeah, all right.

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And this song request is just in. It's for Linda with cystitis.

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# She's just a girl and she's on fire... #

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Oh, my God!

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Ivan, have you seen this? The Brimlington Echo.

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Oh, brilliant! Look, I'm in the paper!

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"Hospital DJ raising money for local boy."

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Oh, I think I know what's happened here.

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They think Henry's the boy in the picture as well.

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You think?!

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-The phone's been ringing off the hook with donations.

-Brilliant!

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No, Ivan! People think they're helping a sick child.

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I think this might be fraud.

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Oh, it'll be fine.

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PHONE BEEPS Oh, got a text message from my sister.

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"Why you raising money for Oliver?"

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Even she's confused!

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Her own son. Is it just me, or has the world gone mad?

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You need to tell people the truth.

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Isn't it more important that Henry gets better and visits Disneyland?

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You're raising this money to go to Disneyland?

0:15:580:16:01

No, but we're in America anyway, so we may as well.

0:16:010:16:03

Otherwise it's a bit like visiting Paris

0:16:030:16:06

and not going to Disneyland...Paris.

0:16:060:16:08

Ivan, this is serious. You could get in big trouble.

0:16:080:16:11

Don't worry. We'll never raise all the money anyway,

0:16:110:16:14

and then we'll just give it back.

0:16:140:16:16

But you're telling Henry.

0:16:160:16:18

I can't.

0:16:180:16:20

Not after the year he's had.

0:16:200:16:22

Don't, Henry!

0:16:220:16:23

Oh, Tony! I was just passing and completely forgot you were in here.

0:16:320:16:35

The grub here is great.

0:16:350:16:38

Do the all patients get the same?

0:16:380:16:40

Venison, pomme dauphinoise and a port reduction?

0:16:400:16:43

Yes. And not just in here, throughout the whole hospital.

0:16:430:16:46

Oh, er, while I've got you, Tony,

0:16:460:16:48

there's an idea I'd quite like to pitch to you.

0:16:480:16:51

Don't worry, I won't waste any of your time.

0:16:510:16:53

Why? Have I not got much time left?

0:16:530:16:54

Have the doctors told you something I don't know?

0:16:540:16:57

-SHE LAUGHS

-I never listen to the doctors.

0:16:570:16:59

No. This is about something the hospital needs.

0:16:590:17:03

Look at any calendar and it'll tell you it's the 21st century.

0:17:030:17:07

But look at the video conferencing capabilities of Brimlington Hospital

0:17:070:17:10

and it's a very different story.

0:17:100:17:13

-Need to take you to radiography now.

-Great.

0:17:130:17:16

Wait! We're in the middle of a very important pitch here.

0:17:160:17:19

I need the toilet again.

0:17:190:17:20

Oh, for the love of God! Fine! Out.

0:17:200:17:24

I'll catch you up later, Tony. OK?

0:17:240:17:27

Move it!

0:17:270:17:28

In this hospital, every patient is equal.

0:17:300:17:33

Which is something I'm hoping to change.

0:17:330:17:36

Look at trains -

0:17:360:17:37

they're allowed first and second class passengers.

0:17:370:17:40

Why can't we have the same with patients?

0:17:400:17:42

A lot of my inspiration comes from the railways

0:17:420:17:45

and how brilliantly they're managed.

0:17:450:17:47

-Just texting Tone. He's got his scan.

-Aww.

0:17:480:17:50

What do you reckon - "Good luck with the scan,

0:17:500:17:53

"hope they find out why you're such a knobhead. Winky face."

0:17:530:17:56

What about, erm...

0:17:560:17:58

"My prayers with you at this difficult time, blessed friend."

0:17:580:18:02

-Aw, that's much better, but I've just sent it.

-Oh.

0:18:020:18:05

He's great, isn't he, Tone?

0:18:050:18:07

Shall I text him the one about sitting on Pinocchio's face and telling him to lie?

0:18:070:18:10

-SHE GASPS

-He'd love that!

0:18:100:18:12

Right, too blue? OK.

0:18:130:18:15

Send it anyway.

0:18:170:18:20

Just a quick wash on 30 degrees, please, love. No spin.

0:18:200:18:23

I'm just checking that you can hear me on the intercom.

0:18:230:18:26

You what, love?

0:18:260:18:28

Only joking.

0:18:280:18:29

One minute! Can I get this... Can I get...

0:18:300:18:33

What are you doing, Susan?

0:18:330:18:34

We'll break it!

0:18:340:18:36

Tony, Susan here.

0:18:360:18:37

Bloody hell, Susan, I'm in the middle of something here.

0:18:370:18:40

Absolutely, and do you know what we're all in the middle of?

0:18:400:18:43

A telecommunications new age.

0:18:430:18:45

Now with just £200,000, this hospital could become...

0:18:450:18:49

All right, Susan. Write something down, I'll read it later.

0:18:490:18:53

Thank you so much, Tony. You won't regret this.

0:18:530:18:55

Right, you can have this back now.

0:18:550:18:57

Sorry about that. Is everything OK?

0:19:010:19:04

Are there any problems with ventilation in here?

0:19:040:19:06

Ventilation? No, why?

0:19:060:19:08

HE BREAKS WIND LOUDLY

0:19:080:19:10

They reckon they'll have the results by the end of today.

0:19:190:19:22

That's quick. Someone must have pulled some strings.

0:19:220:19:24

What's that all about?

0:19:260:19:28

Fundraising for a little lad.

0:19:280:19:30

But don't worry, the spirits are telling me he's going to be fine.

0:19:300:19:33

And they're telling me they've never heard of you

0:19:330:19:36

and you're full of crap.

0:19:360:19:37

So, did you leave a copy of the proposal by Tony's bed?

0:19:430:19:46

Yeah, but he wasn't there.

0:19:460:19:47

-Last I saw he was about to go on hospital radio.

-What?

0:19:470:19:50

-RADIO JINGLE:

-...DJs! Ivan Brackenbury!

0:19:500:19:55

Well, we are very lucky to be joined by local businessman and ill man

0:19:550:19:59

Tony Jackson. Whoo!

0:19:590:20:00

Now, Tony, you've asked to come on

0:20:030:20:05

-and talk about something very special.

-That's right.

0:20:050:20:08

For those who don't know,

0:20:080:20:10

I've donated a lot of money to this hospital in the past

0:20:100:20:13

and now I'm moved to put my hand in my pocket again.

0:20:130:20:16

He's read it. The pitch worked!

0:20:160:20:19

I was moved when you told me the story of little Henry.

0:20:190:20:23

So I've decided to give you the rest of the money

0:20:230:20:27

-to send Henry to America.

-Oh, right! Yay!

0:20:270:20:31

-Who the hell is Henry? IVAN:

-USA, USA!

0:20:310:20:33

I don't know!

0:20:330:20:35

-Ivan, is there anything you'd like to say about Henry?

-No.

0:20:350:20:39

-Or Mr Jackson?

-No.

0:20:390:20:41

Or the listeners who've donated their money in good faith?

0:20:410:20:45

No.

0:20:450:20:46

OK, this is a song to the very lucky Henry.

0:20:460:20:50

MUSIC: Rabbit by Chas & Dave

0:20:500:20:53

Honesty is always the best policy.

0:20:580:21:00

Unless there are advantages to lying.

0:21:000:21:02

Like going to Disney World.

0:21:020:21:04

I never said Henry wasn't a rabbit, did I?

0:21:040:21:06

People just assumed.

0:21:060:21:08

And that is prejudiced against rabbits.

0:21:080:21:11

So we've found out what the problem was.

0:21:180:21:21

OK, Doc. Give me it straight. Don't sugar the pill.

0:21:210:21:24

-Is it the big C?

-No, it's not.

0:21:260:21:29

But it is a C.

0:21:290:21:30

You're constipated.

0:21:300:21:32

-Beg your pardon?

-Yes, it's more common than you think.

0:21:320:21:35

In extreme cases constipation can be so acute as to lead to

0:21:350:21:38

dizziness and passing out.

0:21:380:21:40

So all the time I thought I was dying, I just needed a number two?

0:21:400:21:43

Your GP will want to keep an eye on it,

0:21:430:21:44

but otherwise it's just more fibre and fluids.

0:21:440:21:47

Thank you very much.

0:21:480:21:51

I'll leave you to get ready.

0:21:510:21:52

Tony, it's... Oh, what idiot shut these?

0:21:580:22:00

Let's get some fresh air in here.

0:22:000:22:02

Right.

0:22:020:22:03

I just wanted to check you'd read the proposal.

0:22:030:22:06

Susan, I'm an honest man, and I say what I think.

0:22:060:22:10

No.

0:22:100:22:11

I haven't, and I'll tell you why.

0:22:110:22:13

Because you don't need my help.

0:22:130:22:17

But the equipment could revolutionise the running of the hospital.

0:22:170:22:20

Susan, there's nothing wrong with this hospital.

0:22:200:22:24

Have a look -

0:22:240:22:26

the wards are spotless,

0:22:260:22:27

complimentary magazines for the patients,

0:22:270:22:30

gourmet food.

0:22:300:22:32

I've never seen a hospital like it.

0:22:320:22:34

We really need the money.

0:22:350:22:37

Susan, you are a great manager.

0:22:370:22:41

You've turned this hospital around.

0:22:420:22:45

Well done.

0:22:450:22:46

Great. Well, that backfired, then.

0:22:520:22:54

What? Didn't you hear him?

0:22:540:22:56

He said I was a great manager.

0:22:560:22:59

I want that put on a sign by the entrance to the hospital.

0:22:590:23:02

"Susan Mitchell - A Great Manager. Tony Jackson."

0:23:020:23:06

It's great when your efforts are recognised

0:23:060:23:08

by a distinguished business leader like Tony Jackson.

0:23:080:23:12

It means so much more than praise from the patients or staff

0:23:120:23:16

who don't see the bigger picture, like Tony and I.

0:23:160:23:19

They've only experienced the hospital from the inside,

0:23:190:23:22

which is bound to give you an imbalanced view.

0:23:220:23:25

Oi!

0:23:250:23:27

Derren Blonde.

0:23:270:23:29

I've got the all clear.

0:23:290:23:31

Turns out all I needed was a dump.

0:23:310:23:35

-What?

-Constipation.

0:23:350:23:37

And as I paid for the toilets here, I'm going to get my money's worth.

0:23:370:23:40

So if you'll excuse me, I may be some time.

0:23:400:23:43

HE LAUGHS

0:23:430:23:45

He said to me I'm full of crap,

0:23:480:23:51

and he turned out to be constipated.

0:23:510:23:53

Does that prove I'm in sync with the universe??

0:23:530:23:56

Well, I'll leave that to you to decide.

0:23:560:23:59

But, yes.

0:23:590:24:00

Just come to see how Tony's getting on. What, the steering wheel?

0:24:070:24:11

It's driving me nuts!

0:24:110:24:13

HE LAUGHS

0:24:130:24:14

So, where is he?

0:24:140:24:16

The patient checked out earlier.

0:24:160:24:17

Oh. Thought he might've said goodbye.

0:24:170:24:19

Guess he was in a rush or something.

0:24:210:24:23

Father?

0:24:230:24:24

I'm very worried about my operation.

0:24:240:24:26

I was hoping that maybe you'd pray with me.

0:24:260:24:28

Of course I will, love. All right.

0:24:280:24:30

Our Father, who art in heaven.

0:24:330:24:35

STEERING WHEEL MAKES CAR NOISES

0:24:350:24:37

Hallowed be thy name.

0:24:370:24:38

NOISES PERSIST

0:24:380:24:39

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.

0:24:390:24:42

Cheer up. Who's died?

0:24:510:24:53

Hey, Tony! I thought you'd gone.

0:24:530:24:55

I haven't been out of here for weeks. I thought you'd heard.

0:24:550:24:58

HE LAUGHS

0:24:580:24:59

Can't go without saying bye to my mate, could I?

0:24:590:25:01

Aw, that's lovely.

0:25:010:25:02

-STEERING WHEEL WHIRS

-I love that.

-Yeah, do you like it?

0:25:020:25:05

Don't tell me.

0:25:050:25:07

It drives me nuts!

0:25:070:25:08

I knew you'd get it!

0:25:080:25:10

They say you always have a friend in Jesus, and that's true.

0:25:110:25:14

But it's important to make sure you've got other friends, too.

0:25:140:25:17

You can't go down to the pub with Jesus for a pint.

0:25:170:25:20

Well, you can, but only with him in your heart.

0:25:200:25:22

You can't talk to him.

0:25:220:25:23

You sit in a pub talking to Jesus, and they'll throw you out.

0:25:230:25:26

What I'm saying is, make sure Jesus is your friend,

0:25:260:25:29

but have other mates, too.

0:25:290:25:30

You know, for the pub and going out with.

0:25:300:25:33

Thank you once again for all your generous donations.

0:25:330:25:36

Henry is going to have a spring in his hop, I mean, step,

0:25:360:25:39

when I tell him later.

0:25:390:25:40

That's all from me until next time, but here's a final request for Alf

0:25:400:25:44

who's had his left foot and left arm removed.

0:25:440:25:47

It's Free, and All Right Now!

0:25:470:25:49

MUSIC: All Right Now by Free

0:25:490:25:53

Oh, for goodness' sake!

0:26:040:26:06

Ridiculous!

0:26:060:26:07

Why can't they get the thing right? Are you laughing?

0:26:070:26:10

Do you think it's funny? Get out!

0:26:100:26:13

Get out!

0:26:130:26:14

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