Episode 1 I Love My Country

# No pain, no fight, just excitation

# All through the night It's a celebration

# Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

# Yeah, whoa

# Give us your hands

# Give us your heart

# There's only one direction

# One world and one nation

# On television

# One head, won't stop

# One day, just gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme

# Fried chicken, oh, yeah! #

APPLAUSE

Good evening.

And welcome to I Love My Country.

Not just the title of the show, but a statement of fact.

Tonight we're going to generate more national pride and excitement

than Brian May rocking out on the roof of Buckingham Palace.

So here, to whip us into a fervour,

please go gaga for the I Love My Country house band,

led by the fabulous Jamelia.

# One day, one style, one day

# Just gimme, gimme, gimme

# Oh, yeah!

# Woo! #

Tonight we'll be putting our teams' Britishness to the test

and leading them in this quest for victory are our two team captains,

chirpier than Trafalgar Square pigeons

and hoping to pull off a coup,

it's Frank Skinner and Micky Flanagan.

APPLAUSE

On Micky's team tonight,

it's Fat Boy from EastEnders - Ricky Norwood.

APPLAUSE

Call the Midwife, it's Helen George.

And star of Saturday Kitchen,

the very dishy James Martin.

That's Micky's team.

APPLAUSE

While on Frank's side this evening,

setting pulses racing is Casualty's Charlotte Salt.

APPLAUSE

It's Miranda's favourite co-star, Tom Ellis.

APPLAUSE

And the toast of BBC Breakfast,

Susanna Reid. That's Frank's team.

APPLAUSE

I'm not going to do any "salt" jokes tonight.

I imagine you've had that your whole life, have you?

No. Never, never.

Especially with my initials being C Salt.

-Yeah, it's even worse, isn't it?

-Yes, yes.

What if you were in a rock band?

People say, "Oh, where's Charlotte Salt?"

"Have you looked in the cellar?" Do you ever get that one?

I don't know anyone that funny.

No.

You do now.

No - that's lovely.

I'm sure anyway you're a strong, independent woman,

you'll take it all with a pinch of... Anyway!

LAUGHTER

Now, behind each of our teams tonight are their loyal supporters,

who are going to clap, cheer and sing their teams to victory,

and the stakes couldn't be higher, as the prize up for grabs

is the Holy Grail of showbiz,

the coveted I Love My Country commemorative plate.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

They all want it.

All right, we're going to get the plate, don't worry.

Let's get cracking then with tonight's first round,

Celebrity SatNav, and our teams will identify a UK place name

and then I'll ask them to find it on our I Love My Country map.

Tonight they'll be pinpointing the place names with this...

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

ALL GASP

Oh, Tiffany, thank you. You've excelled yourself tonight.

The classic Yorkshire pudding.

I thought it was a dead tortoise.

I'm a Yorkshire lass, James.

-Yeah.

-And I think, you know, a bad Yorkshire pudding,

don't put it anywhere near my plate.

That's what we call in Yorkshire a canape.

On that subject, because when I watch Gordon Ramsay on telly

sometimes, why is he so angry?

Is it, do you think, because he's ended up doing a lady's job?

I don't mean that.

That is a ridiculous statement to make in modern urban Britain,

because most women can't cook nowadays anyway.

OK, do you want to know how this works?

Well, letters are going to appear on the screen.

I want you to buzz in when you think you know

the UK location being spelt out.

So let's see where our satnav is taking us first.

BUZZER

-Micky.

-Peterborough.

It is indeed Peterborough.

APPLAUSE

That's one point, Micky, but for two extra points,

come and put the Yorkshire pudding where you think Peterborough is, OK?

-Anyone from Peterborough in?

-Your team and your supporters

-can help you.

-Can you help me? Or are you just an attention seeker?

MUSIC PLAYS

A little bit higher.

Higher.

No, this way to us.

Higher!

A bit further that way.

MUSIC STOPS

Stop, Micky!

-A bit further.

-No, the music's stopped. Leave the pudding.

Leave the pudding.

What's the matter?

It's in the wrong place.

Oh, thank you, pet.

You put it in the wrong place!

It's kind of how this show operates.

False sense of security, that's all that is.

We're just letting you feel good for now.

CHEERING

I like it when, just when you talk like that,

you're still doing that with your hands.

It's what happens. It's the energy, man. It's the flow, the hype.

I can feel it and I haven't felt energy since the '90s.

I'm going to plug myself into him a bit later.

Shall we see if it's in the right place?

Let's do that.

-Let's have a little look.

-Here we go.

HORN BLARES

You're right. It was funny.

Well, it's an early start.

OK, let's have a little look at where we're going next.

BUZZER

-Frank?

-Is it Lisburn?

It is Lisburn.

CHEERING

Put that Yorkshire pudding on the map where Lisburn is

and remember, laugh really loud if he gets it wrong.

It's so funny.

OK - on you go.

MUSIC STARTS

-Somewhere about here.

-There.

Left! Left!

MUSIC STOPS

Come away from the pudding.

What do you reckon? What do you reckon?

You reckon he's got it right?

AUDIENCE: Yeah.

OK, let's see if, for an extra two points, you have it right.

HORN BLARES

APPLAUSE

Yeah, but I got the right - I got the grassy knoll.

Let's get ready then for our final destination.

BUZZER

-Frank.

-Is it Lickey End?

It is Lickey End.

APPLAUSE

I've no idea. You see, there's a Lickey Hills near Birmingham.

I wonder if that could be somehow...

Yeah, down the hill - could be the end.

Go find Lickey End. On you go.

MUSIC STARTS

Good luck, Frank.

DROWNED OUT BY SHOUTING

North!

MUSIC STOPS

You were going on the theory that it was near Lickey Hill, yeah?

Yeah, but I think I've missed Birmingham by a...

This reminds me of my drinking days.

Wake up in Luton.

Let's see if you're close to Lickey End, shall we?

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

-It's by my house - sorry.

-You've just remembered that, Jamelia?

No, no, no - I did say earlier that it's by my house,

but not - I was talking to the band.

But it's right by my house, that is.

To be honest, "It's by your house," wasn't that helpful a clue.

I'm not allowed to help you, Frank, so I was just talking to the...

That would not have helped me.

In case you haven't noticed, your house is not marked on the map.

After that savoury stroll around the country,

it's time to check the scores.

And I can tell you that Micky's team have just the one point.

Frank's team have two points.

CHEERING

Now, what do Rastamouse and Match Of The Day have in common?

No, it's not stars with big ears.

-Sorry, Rastamouse.

-Can you not say that?

Charlotte used to go out with Gary Lineker.

She didn't, but it would be a great headline.

I was going with that.

The headline would have been Salt and Lineker.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

The tabloids are desperate for Charlotte to take

a part in Peppa Pig.

I'm sorry - I promised I wouldn't do this.

Now, Jamelia and the band will play three British TV theme tunes.

All our teams have to do is buzz in when they think

they can name all three of them.

But beware, teams, if you buzz in and the answer is wrong,

the points automatically go over to the other side, OK?

Yes, indeed. Jamelia, take it away.

MUSIC STARTS

# I'll wait by the window for you

# I'll wait by the window... #

OK, brilliant.

Get the next one.

# God bless Hooky Street... #

BUZZER

Whoa, Frank.

We think it was Gavin and Stacey.

CHEERING

Followed by Challenge Anneka.

And finally, it was Only Fools And Horses.

Yeah, that's all three correct.

All the points go to Frank's team.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

My team! My team! My team!

Of course, Only Fools And Horses was famously set in Peckham.

Micky, you're a Peckham boy, aren't you?

Peckham? You're having a laugh, aren't you?

I did end up living in Peckham

because the East End was getting too, you know, too, too nice for me.

How lovely is the jubbly round there then?

Do you know what a jubbly is?

I've no idea.

Yeah, well, then you... I'm not telling you.

-Go on - tell me.

-It's a frozen thing that you used to buy...

-Oh, yeah!

And the bloke in the shop, he would cut the top off and

you'd walk out really pleased with yourself,

give it a squeeze, and it would fly into the...

fly into the gutter and you'd be walking home like that.

There's nothing more sad than a man who's dropped his jubbly.

That could be the new street walk for the kids. Yeah.

And start every one with two twos.

With a little hand like this.

Two twos, blood, I don't even need to talk to you.

Two twos and this little arm and you're winning.

That's it. Right, let me give it a little try.

Right go for it, go for it, go for it.

Two twos to you, man.

Well done, blud!

CHEERING

Now, celebrities usually love seeing their faces on TV,

although not quite in this round. It's called Great Britons.

We've fused two pictures of famous people together

and our teams' job is to identify the two British celebrities.

For example - who's this?

Oh, that's me on a bad day.

-Who is it?

-Susanna and Tom.

Yes, it is.

It's Tom and Susanna. Look at that.

Tom, I'm told that a woman had a photograph taken with you,

with her boyfriend taking the photo and she said,

"Do you mind if I lick your face?"

Yes, I'm sorry about that, Frank.

I wasn't going to name and shame.

I was looking at Susanna. Imagine if you put the news on in the morning

and she was sitting there like that.

Blimey, she didn't get home.

She went straight into the studio.

OK, you get the idea. That's how it works.

So, Frank, your team are going to go first.

I want you to tell me the two faces we've mixed up here.

Is it Robbie Williams and...?

Yeah, definitely.

It looks like Les Dawson.

It's a woman - and Robbie Williams.

I think it might be Jessie J.

Really?

Yeah, it just came to me then, you know kind of um...

Do we think Jessie J?

Yeah. I think so, yeah.

OK, so, we're going to go with Robbie Williams, Jessie J.

OK, let's have a look and see if you're right.

Yes!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK...

Micky's mob - let's have a little look.

It's my granddad.

Winston Churchill and Ann Widdecombe, you reckon?

-Yeah.

-OK, let's crack on.

Yeah, really? You got it?

-Ann Widdecombe...

-Yeah, OK.

-..and Winston Churchill.

-OK. Well, let's see if you're right.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Is that Ann Widdecombe, or is it Eddie Izzard?

Frank - have a look at this.

Ooh. That's... Isn't that...? Is it Noel Fielding's nose?

It's like Prince Andrew's mouth or one of the Eugenie or Beatrice.

I think Eugenie, because Beatrice's hair is a bit redder.

It's not Sharon Osbourne?

Yeah. Oh, what about Helena Bonham...? No, it's not.

Oh! Oh!

Because it's big and crazy.

-Oh! Oh!

-I think you're absolutely spot-on.

Did I maybe get something right?

I think you might be right.

-I think...

-Cos the ringlets...

We think it could be Noel Fielding and Helena Bonham-Carter.

Shall we have a little look and see if you're right?

Yes!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Good.

-Well done. That was great.

OK, onto you, Micky.

Who are these two?

Oh, er, we know it's Hugh Grant...

I think the lips might be Kate Middleton, no?

-Yes, it's Pippa Middleton.

-Pippa?

Would we be disrespectful to have a...?

Oh, my God.

Pippa Middleton...

-and Hugh Grant.

-Let's go for it. Let's do it. Shall we do it?

Pippa Middleton and Hugh Grant.

-Let's have a look...

-Come on.

-..and see if you've got two points.

Come on...

Yes!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And what a coincidence,

because Charlotte used to go out with Pippa Middleton.

It was Salt and Pippa.

GROANING

You started quite high, now...

I'm thinking on my feet here.

Frank, you really are grinding a lot of laughs, mate.

Ask him to leave it on the table, Salt. OK.

GROANING

I mean that's just rubbing salt into the...

Some of these jokes are just so "poor".

Pour?

Pour the salt.

Oh, come on!

APPLAUSE

Frank, it's your final pair. Have a little look at this.

Oh, gosh.

What's the lady off, um, Britain's Got Talent?

Amanda Holden?

Oh, yes. It's Amanda Holden's hair and shoulders.

Is it? But then her roots are a bit dark.

-It's Helen, isn't it?

-Could it be Helen?

It's Helen. It is Helen, because look at the eyes!

Oh, it could be. Oh, hello.

Oh, yeah!

-Is that James and Helen?

-It is.

We're going to go for James and Helen.

James and Helen.

OK, let's have a look and see if you're right.

Yeah.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Take comfort in the fact that if you ever do have children,

it will look like Amanda Holden, so there you go.

Have you ever been at a pregnancy?

At a real pregnancy?

Yeah, have you had a baby?

No, I haven't had a baby. No.

-It's horrible.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-Have you?

My wife, when she was giving birth, I couldn't even talk to her.

Did you go down that end, or...?

No, I was in Thailand and...

LAUGHTER

Now, Micky's team - your final pair.

Let's have a little look at these.

Oh, that's Ed Sheeran.

It's Annie Lennox. Is that Annie Lennox?

-Annie Lennox...

-Is that Annie Lennox and Ed Sheeran?

I think you've about cracked it straightaway.

-Yeah.

-Ed Sheeran and Annie Lennox.

Ed Sheeran and Annie Lennox, you think.

Let's have a little look.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Did you say Annie?

At the end of that round,

and let's have a look at what it's done to the scores.

I can tell you Micky is now on seven points.

Come on!

Frank's team are on 11 points.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK, it's time now for some more music.

Teams, buzz in when you think you know both the artist

and the title of this great British anthem.

Remember if you get either wrong, the points will automatically

go to the other side, so do not buzz in too soon.

TUNE PLAYS

BUZZER

Tom.

All You Need Is Love by The Beatles.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Too slow, weren't it?

I don't want to cause controversy.

-Yeah.

-But wasn't that a bit slow, band?

It sounded like the start of Steptoe And Son.

You know what? Shall we have it again?

Only this time, of course, The Beatles' classic

will become a sing along and all of you can join in as well.

CHEERING

And Jamelia will award a bonus point

for supporters who sing along the best.

And could I go, "Harold, Harold"?

We could bring that back, Micky, you know that, do you?

I'll play the horse.

Jamelia - take it away.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Jamelia, they're crying out for your love.

OK, I think Frank's team did fantastically,

but there are so many people...

What?

Hey, hey, hey - leave Jamelia alone. Leave her alone.

It could be the old "double but", couldn't it?

It could be, but...and then, but...?

We don't know where you're going still, do we?

No. But you know what?

I'm a bit, I'm a bit upset that they cheered before I gave them

the points, so I'm giving it to Frank.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait. You know what?

AUDIENCE CHANTS

You know what?

One minute, one minute, one minute, one minute!

They booed Jamelia when they thought you were going to give it to us.

If you want to be like that, if you want friends like that, Jamelia,

OK, baby, I didn't know where you were from,

but I understand where you're at, you know what I mean? OK.

You know what? Fat Boy just called me baby, so I'm giving it to Micky.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hard luck, but, hey, you know what you've got to do next time.

Election night would be a lot more exciting

if Jamelia was running the country.

Now, us Brits love a good old shindig

and tonight we're going to honour that tradition.

So, without further ado, let's play the party game.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

# Let's just go with the flow

# We've been working all week

# Tomorrow doesn't matter

# When you're moving your feet

# It's all about tonight. #

I love sitting down dancing.

Yeah.

Everyone having a great time.

This is the best party I've ever been to.

Oh, Susanna, hey.

It's brilliant.

The thing is, Charlotte, about that there present,

in three minutes and 12 seconds that lovely looking pressie

will self-destruct.

It's like Mission: Impossible.

I'm going to ask a series of questions.

Get it right and you pass the present on.

Get it wrong and you keep hold of it.

The team in possession when it explodes will get no points,

leaving all the points that have been earned throughout

the game to go to the other side.

AUDIENCE: Woo-oo!

This has suddenly become the worst party I've ever been to.

Let's go.

Charlotte - the British takeaway fish and chips

is traditionally served with what and vinegar?

-Salt.

-Yay!

Helen - what is the capital of Wales?

LAUGHTER

Cardiff.

-Yes!

-Yes!

What does HP stand for on bottles of HP sauce?

Houses of Parliament.

Yes, Susanna.

In the UK, barber poles are traditionally striped

in which two colours?

Red and white.

Yes! Pass it on.

Tom, who is this British designer?

I don't... I have no idea.

Paul Smith.

-There you go.

-How many letters are there in the alphabet?

28.

GROANING

-26.

-I've got a stutter!

Who did the Duke of Wellington defeat in 1815

at the Battle of Waterloo?

Napoleon.

Yes!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Which Oxfordshire town is famous for making Banbury cakes?

Banbury?

Yes!

Which Olympic athlete's 2012 autobiography

is called Between the Lines?

Ooh.

Come on - name one, name one.

Mo Farah.

No - Victoria Pendleton.

A Blenheim Orange is a variety of which fruit?

The orange.

No, the apple.

Who was the fictional author of the fly fishing book

in the Yellow Pages advert?

-J R Hartley.

-Yes!

Which flower is associated with Remembrance Day?

-Er - the poppy.

-Yes!

Which British duo have the catch phrase, "To me, to you"?

-Oh, um - the Chuckle Brothers.

-Yes!

In 2012, the Queen celebrated how many years on the throne?

60.

-Yes!

-Yes.

Which English artist created this sculpture?

Henry Moore.

Yes, well done.

What type of pudding is mentioned in the traditional song,

We Wish You A Merry Christmas?

Figgy pudding.

Yes!

Which tea clipper is a tourist attraction in Greenwich?

-Which what?

-Tea clipper is a tourist attraction?

-The Cutty Sark.

-Yes!

In 1967, Reg Varney became the first person in the UK to use what?

Um - a spoon.

No.

LAUGHTER

A cash machine.

In which city is the Bullring shopping centre?

What?

-Birmingham.

-Birmingham - didn't I say it?

No, you didn't. Gnasher is the dog of which comic character?

Dennis.

-Yes.

-Yes!

BANG!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

The first man to use a spoon wasn't Reg Varney.

Wasn't he the first man to use a hole-in-the-wall bank thing?

He was, yeah. Too late now though, hey?

Yeah. Apparently, he was getting some money out to buy one of those

new fangled spoon inventions.

LAUGHTER

OK - Frank got caught with the present,

which of course means that Micky's team get all the points.

Come on!

# Tomorrow doesn't matter when you're moving your feet

# It's all about tonight. #

Now listen - I told you that the present round was big.

Well, let's have a look at the scores. Oh, God.

Frank's team have 13 points.

But now, Micky's side are on 22 points.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Time for some more music now and, teams, you're going to hear

three songs, which are clues to the identity of a famous Briton.

The clue could be in the song title,

the lyrics, or even the name of the artist.

For three points, I want you to buzz in when the music stops

and you think you know the famous Briton.

Jamelia - take it away.

# People try to put us down

# Talking about my generation

# Just because we get around

# Talking about my generation... #

TUNE CHANGES

# I bet that you look good on the dance floor

# I don't know what you're looking for romance for

# I don't know what you're looking for... #

TUNE CHANGES

# You know I'm gonna lose

# And gambling's for fools

# But that's the way I like it, baby

# I don't wanna live for ever

# The ace of spades. #

BUZZER

James?

Bruce Forsyth.

Why did you come up with Bruce Forsyth?

Dance floor.

Yeah - Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor.

The first one was My Generation.

Generation Game.

Yes - and then what was the other one?

Can't remember.

You didn't have to know the song titles, but I can tell you it

was Ace of Spades, Motorhead, and it was Bruce Forsyth.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Good game, good game, good game!

Here on I Love My Country, we like to celebrate British traditions

and pastimes that make us who we are.

So, teams, make sure you're paying attention as we welcome

the London School of Samba.

SAMBA MUSIC PLAYS

APPLAUSE

That was absolutely fantastic.

Thank you so much for coming on the show.

This is Fred, my mate Fred, by the way.

-Hello.

-All right, Fred?

Now, you guys are part of a great British institution -

the Notting Hill Carnival.

CHEERING

And, Micky, Frank, you've probably guessed it already, haven't you?

There is a challenge here.

I'd like you to go backstage and get yourselves ready for your challenge.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Oh, Fred - this is going to be good, isn't it?

-It certainly is.

-This is going to be good.

Fred is going to judge Frank and Micky

doing some drumming,

and, of course, some dancing as well.

So, Fred, what are you looking for in a good samba drummer?

Well, in a good samba drummer,

I'd like to see someone that's really passionate about the tempo

and showing a bit of a passion about the samba kind of rhythm.

Movement?

Movement - I reckon...

-a little bit of fancy footwork for the dancing.

-Show me, show me.

Oh.

CHEERING

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we're ready.

Please welcome the I Love My Country samba sensations -

Frank Skinner and Micky Flanagan!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

You're looking mighty fine.

Did I tell you what my major fear is?

That chicken is going to make a pass at me.

LAUGHTER

OK - away you go - take it away, Fred.

SAMBA MUSIC PLAYS

CHEERING

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

WHISTLES BLOW

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That was certainly something, wasn't it?

It will stay with me for a very long time.

Come up here and join me.

You two catch your breath, OK,

and we'll just hear the appraisal from the expert.

Fred?

OK - first and foremost, I'd like to say I liked Frank's stick work.

It was lovely. You got in there very, very passionately.

Very good.

Micky really got in there.

He got in there solidly, again with his stick work.

Got down low as well, which I thought was, was...

-I'm glad you spotted that.

-Exactly.

You both danced with amazing hip work.

You definitely went in there and shaked your booties.

My booty has broken free of its moorings.

It's adrift. It's adrift on an open sea, my booty.

I'm so sorry.

I don't think you're taking me completely seriously.

And the footwork was good,

I've got to say, but one person swung it for me.

It was Micky.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That means our samba supremos who are winning one point

are Micky's team!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Listen, Micky and Frank,

go and get yourselves into something less comfortable.

And, Fred, thank you so much, and the London School of Samba as well.

Fantastic, thank you.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

So, going into our final round, what has that done to the scores?

Well, I can tell you - Frank's team are on 13 points,

Micky's team are on 26 points.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Listen, it can all change, Frank's team,

because it's time to play the Big Wheel.

# You spin me right round, baby

# Right round like a record, baby

# Right round, round, round. #

What an anticlimax!

LAUGHTER

Charlotte just said, "Oh, I thought it would be bigger."

Here before us is our Big Wheel and it's packed full of points.

I'm going to ask you a question.

If you answer correctly, your captain will get to come up

and spin the Big Wheel.

Micky's team, you're in the lead.

-Yes.

-You're going to get a chance to answer the question first.

English Heritage lists buildings

of special architectural and historical interest,

but in their records of the country's listed buildings,

how many entries are there for telephone boxes?

Does anyone here know anything about

the history of the telephone box, or...?

No.

Have you even got a telephone?

You should get one. They're all right.

ALL SPEAK AT ONCE

Sorry, there's... Shh! Shh!

I know there are probably about 500 in Surrey.

-This is good knowledge.

-500 just in Surrey.

-Wow.

-So if that's per council?

Surrey is a bit different, innit? Everything's listed in Surrey.

The chip shops are listed in Surrey.

500 per county.

How many counties are there?

That's a separate question.

I would say less than a couple of thousand.

-OK.

-1,400?

We're going to say 1,500.

Done.

OK, now I want to know if it's more or less.

AUDIENCE SHOUT: Lower!

More or less? Less? Less?

We've had - we've had a conversation

and we think it's lower, less.

You think it's less.

Micky's team said 1,500.

Frank's team have said less.

Well, I can tell you that English Heritage has 2,488...

records for listed telephone boxes in England.

Micky, it's your turn to come up and spin the Big Wheel.

Give it a big spin, Micky.

Whoa!

CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

Go on! Go on! Go on!

Oh!

Great - but we are still in the lead.

Five points. You are still in the lead.

-I'm too strong!

-Well done, Micky. Well done.

-Too strong.

-Well done, Micky.

OK, let's move on to our second question and according to the

latest figures from the Office of National Statistics...

And, Frank, this question is for you to answer first.

I think there are a lot of people

still live with their mum and dad, because...

How many in the audience still live with their parents here?

-Loads and loads...

-What do you think?

Jamelia still lives with her mum.

Yeah, but you said between 20 and 34.

LAUGHTER

Cheeky!

Do you really still live with your mum?

Well, she lives with me.

How many? Five million?

What do you think, Susanna?

Well, it could be a couple of million.

-A couple of million.

-Is that it? You think a couple of million?

-Have you done a feature on this, Susanna?

-I'm sure we have.

But the specifics of the ages

and the number have not stuck in my head.

Can we phone Bill Turnbull, see if he remembers?

I mean, can I just say, if Susanna had done that feature

and I was Bill - this is what I love on that show,

is if one of you is talking, it's the faces of the other one.

So, you do the report about people living at home, and I'll be Bill.

Good morning. On BBC Breakfast this morning,

we're reporting on the huge number of people aged between

20 and 34 who are still living at home with their parents.

LAUGHTER

We think...

-Yeah?

-Two million people aged between 20 to 34

still live with their parents.

OK, I'm taking two million. Is it more or less?

-More?

-Higher? Who says higher?

-More?

-Higher? Higher? Shall we go higher?

I think it's a surprising amount.

Yeah, I think we're going to go higher.

You're going to go more than two million?

-Yeah, yeah. Definitely.

-OK.

I can tell you...

you're right. It's 2.96 million people.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Come on, Micky.

-Come on, Micky!

-Come on, Micky!

-Come on, son!

-Spin that wheel.

-Two twos, blud, two twos.

-No, no, no...

-I might even do it with one hand.

Just to humiliate them. What do you think?

I'm going to stare at them while I'm doing it.

You're looking at defeat straight in the eye, people.

CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

Whoa!

And that hasn't affected the scores at all.

Frank's team still on 13 and Micky's on 31 - so 18 points.

We can still win this. We can still win this.

Now hang on, Frank, remember in this round anything can happen,

because, as you can see,

the ladies are adding on 100 points and lose everything.

GROANING

And now, because Micky's team are leading going into

the last question, they get to answer first.

But it's a question with a difference.

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together

for our very special guest -

the Mayor of High Wycombe and his officers.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

What can I call you? Mr Mayor? Is that...?

-You can call me Mr Mayor, yeah.

-Mr Mayor.

-Yeah, yeah.

OK, it's lovely to see you in this splendid robe that you're

-wearing this evening.

-Thank you.

Now tell us why you're here and what's

so special about the office of the Mayor of High Wycombe.

Oh, because, yes, we get weighed in and then we get weighed out.

It's a very interesting tradition and it goes back...

-Town Clerk, to...?

-Well, most agree that it's the late 16th century,

during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I,

when a Mayor, or perhaps even the whole corporation,

were seen to have put on a lot of weight during this year of office.

And the townsfolk thought that the Mayor had been

living off the fat of the land at the townsfolk's expense.

And so they demanded that the Mayor should be weighed in at the

start of his year, and then weighed out again at the end of it.

OK, well, you've heard the history and you've seen the Mayor.

So, Micky's team, the question is - in stones and pounds...

How tall are you?

I'd say you were about six foot?

Six one, six foot?

Yeah - thereabouts.

I'm six three.

-You're six three.

-No, he's not that.

Excuse me a minute.

LAUGHTER

We're going somewhere between 16 and 18 stone, we reckon but...

17 and a half.

Shall we say 17 and a half?

17 and a half?

Actually, we're going for 18.

-AUDIENCE SHOUT: No!

-Bang on 18?

-18. We're going for 18 stone.

-Bang on 18.

He's gaining weight by the second, by the sound of it.

OK - 18 stone, I'm taking.

More or less, Frank?

More or less?

Well, Tom says that the Mayor is a similar size to his dad.

Yeah. I think, I think we should go more.

If Tom is right, I'm going to lick Tom's face.

LAUGHTER

And I'm going to lick it until he's completely clean-shaven.

OK, let's find out. Will you go to the weighing area, please?

Let the ceremony commence.

Mr Mayor, will you please sit on the scales?

Feet off the floor.

LAUGHTER

Mr Town Crier, please tell us

how much the Mayor of High Wycombe weighs.

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!

16 stone 12.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much to the Mayor of High Wycombe and your officers.

Well done, Micky, and your supporters.

And it is, of course, the last spin of the wheel.

You are in the lead, but you could still lose everything.

So, Micky, come up...

and give us your best spin.

Come on, Micky!

FRANK'S TEAM CHANT: Lose everything! Lose everything! Lose everything!

CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE

Three points - well done, Micky's side.

It means the team and supporters going home with

the I Love My Country commemorative plates are...

Micky's!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hard luck, Frank. See, Britain loves a loser, though.

Thank you to Jamelia and the I Love My Country house band,

to Ricky, Helen, James, Susanna,

Tom, Charlotte, Frank and Micky as well.

They all love their country and so do I.

I've been Gabby Logan. A very good night.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd