Episode 2 I Love My Country

MUSIC: "One Vision" by Queen

# No hate, no fight, just excitation

# All through the night, it's a celebration

# Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah!

# Give us your hands

# Give us your heart

# We're ready

# There's only one direction

# One world

# And one nation

# On television

# One plan, one star, one day

# Just give me, give me, give me Give me fried chicken! #

CHEERING

Hello and welcome to I Love My Country,

a show more British than a badger in a bowler hat drinking

tea in the rain.

It's a celebration of our great nation,

and who better to celebrate with than the I Love My Country

house band, led by the fabulous Jamelia!

# One plan, one star, one day

# Just give me, give me, give me Give me!

# Whoo! #

CHEERING

Tonight we'll be discovering just how much our teams

know about Britain as we test their national knowledge to the max.

But first, it's said the sun never sets on the British empire,

which is a good thing, as these two can't be trusted in the dark.

It's our team captains, Frank Skinner and Micky Flanagan!

CHEERING

On Micky's team tonight, it's the Chelsee that isn't

owned by Roman Abramovich, it's actress Chelsee Healey!

Adding a pinch of spice to proceeding,

it's pop legend Melanie C!

Break out the mint sauce, it's the very tasty Larry Lamb.

That's Micky's lot!

Joining Frank this evening,

a man who struck gold at the 2012 Paralympics,

it's sprinter Jonnie Peacock.

And Dancing On Ice's hostess with the mostest, Christine Bleakley!

And confident of waltzing his way to victory, Strictly's Len Goodman.

That's Frank's team!

You might have judges,

but we have someone who was second on Strictly here.

-Your name's Chelsee?

-Yeah.

And do you change your manager every three months?

LAUGHTER

-No. Like the football team?

-Yes, yes.

Christine, do you fancy doing a transfer here with Chelsee?

The first Chelsee transfer of the evening.

LAUGHTER

Can I just say? I heard an interesting fact about you,

which I never knew. We've met many times,

but that you survived a brutal goose attack when you were a child.

I did. I've the scar to prove it. Would you like to see?

-Oh, yeah. Blimey!

-It's not mammoth, by any means.

-But, yes, it was sore at the time.

-That is a... It does!

That's a proper... Even Jonnie's impressed. He's a Paralympian.

-Yes, I know, Jonnie.

-That's nothing compared to no leg.

Oh, no. Don't drop her.

And you did an amazing... You water-skied the Channel,

-which is an amazing thing to do.

-I still can't quite believe that.

You went to Uganda, didn't you?

And you were so moved by what you saw there you thought,

"I want to do something about this." And you thought,

"I got through the goose attack, I can get through this."

I'm guessing that what you thought is,

"What's good for the goose is good for Uganda."

That is the joke of the week.

Not you, Christine!

-What would you give it out of ten, Len?

-Seven!

CHEERING

OK, I think we're ready to get this show on the road,

and, as we all know,

a team is nothing without its loyal band of supporters.

And, yes, tonight is no exception.

They've been primed to clap,

cheer and sing like their lives depended on it.

"But why?" I hear you ask. Simple.

It's all in the hope of bagging the one

and only I Love My Country commemorative plate.

GAME SHOW THEME MUSIC

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Only the very lucky will leave here tonight with the plate.

Can we just show the plate again, if that's possible?

It looks like Frank's just sneaked into the picture.

-Actually, I'm photobombing.

-You shouldn't be there!

OK, let's get started.

Tonight's first round is Celebrity SatNav,

where our teams journey around the country,

trying to locate great British places on our I Love My Country map.

LEN: Mm!

Mm, indeed.

And because getting around the country is hungry work,

our guests will be pinpointing these locations using a pie.

But not just any old pie. Oh, no.

Tonight's pie of choice is...

JAZZY TUNE

CHEERING

It's the much loved British pork pie. Thank you very much, Tiffany.

The best pie of all.

Larry, did you eat a lot of these in Ian Beale's caff?

Er, no. I didn't eat anything in Ian Beale's caff at all.

Did they have real food, like, real pies?

No, they don't.

Like pies like this. A bit like that.

LAUGHTER

Just like that.

OK. Teams, this is how it's going to work.

Letters are going to appear on the screen,

and just buzz in when you think you know the location being spelt out.

There's one point for a correct answer.

Let's see where our SatNav is taking us first.

BUZZER

-Yes, Frank?

-Aberdeen.

You are absolutely correct.

It is Aberdeen.

But for two extra points, here's your pie. I want you to go

and place the pork pie on the map where you think Aberdeen is,

and you've got the time until the music stops, OK?

Good luck. Away you go.

-CHRISTINE:

-Go on, Frank.

Up a bit, up a bit. Right there.

-Yeah?

-We sure? We sure?

That was quick. Quite certain there. Let's see how you've done.

Yeah!

CHEERING

Two extra points for your team there.

Ever gigged there, Jamelia? Gigged in Aberdeen?

Aberdeen? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I've done shows everywhere, so, yeah, I must have done.

The people of Aberdeen are going to be so moved by that tribute(!)

OK, let's do it again, let's do it again. Ask me again.

Have you ever been to Aberdeen, Jamelia?

Oh, my God! Aberdeen, I've got such fond memories.

LAUGHTER

Teams, fingers on buttons,

let's have a look at where we're going next.

BUZZER

-Frank again!

-Is it Toddington?

-No, it's not Toddington.

Doddington? Boddington!

BUZZER

-Boddington.

-No.

-My mum lives there!

-OK, we're going to carry on with the letters.

BUZZER

My mum lives there! Come on!

That's my village!

Jonnie, it took until it was spelt "Doddington".

Do you not get home much?

Yeah, another interesting fact about Doddington,

obviously your mum lives there, and Jonnie had his gold post box

placed there to commemorate his 2012 Paralympic gold medal.

Jonnie, you might have noticed,

-have you seen that post box up there?

-Yeah.

That's to commemorate Micky becoming East London Schools'

high jump champion in 1974!

AUDIENCE WHOOPS

-They think I'm joking.

-Course they think you're joking.

But look, here's Micky's certificate to prove it.

There you go.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You're actually from Columbia?

LAUGHTER

Let's see if Jonnie can do a little bit better in terms of placing

Doddington on the map. OK? Come round.

-You know I'm going to get this wrong.

-Come on!

MUSIC BEGINS

-Think it's there? Think it's there?

-No idea.

-No idea.

-No? OK. Is it a nice place?

-It's all right.

LAUGHTER

OK, let's see how you've done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Come on, Micky supporters. Come on, give him some support.

So, you want us to cheer a man who knows how to get home?

A pigeon would have got those points!

-Yeah, thanks(!)

-No, you're doing great!

OK. let's have a look at our final destination.

-MICKY:

-We need this big time.

CHELSEE: Ah! Oh, no.

BUZZER

-Len Goodman.

-Burpham.

He's right.

CHEERING

It looks like "Burp-ham", but it's pronounced as you'd say, "Burfam",

which is what midwives do in your neck of the woods, innit, Micky?

-Burf 'em.

-Birth them?

They birth 'em, then they burp 'em.

So, Len, for an extra two points, can you put the pork pie on Burpham?

I'm going to give you a clue as well.

Here's the Ordnance Survey grid reference, TQ 039089. Off you go.

Lancashire?

MUSIC BEGINS

Where?

Where?

AUDIENCE SHOUTS AND CHATTERS

FRANK: Guildford!

There?

It's over, it's over.

Too late, Len. Too late.

OK, let's see if Len is on Burpham.

BUZZER

AUDIENCE GROANS

It wasn't near Guildford!

So just the point there.

Well, after that pie-based pilgrimage,

the scores are as follows.

Micky's team, yet to get off the mark. Yeah, sorry.

But Frank's team ahead with seven!

Ah! Fabulous!

Now, British television's produced hundreds of instantly recognisable

theme tunes, from the Teletubbies to Strictly Come Dancing.

Len, give us a few bars of the Teletubbies.

# Bum-ba-dum... #

Oh!

LAUGHTER

I can't do the Teletubbies.

OK, teams.

In this game, our band are going to play each team in turn

a medley of three television theme tunes.

When the music stops, all they have to do is name the three programmes.

Frank's team, you're going to go first.

Jamelia, it's over to you.

# Dedication

# Dedication

# Dedication

# That's what you need

# Oooh, dedication's what you need. #

MUSIC: Monty Python theme song

# Wheel's on fire

# Rolling down the road

# Let's notify my next of kin

# For this wheel shall explode! #

CHEERING

You look to me like you've got the air of confidence about you.

The first one was Record Breakers,

and then it was Monty Python's Flying Circus, and then it was...

-Ab Fab.

-Yeah, it was Ab Fab.

-Three points for Frank's side.

Come on! Come on! Come on!

The great thing was, the only person on our team who

hadn't heard of Record Breakers was Jonnie.

OK, Micky's team, your turn to get yourselves some points. OK?

Yeah, I hope so. I hope so.

CHEERING

Jamelia, take it away.

# So what becomes of you, my love

# The handbags and the glad rags

# That your granddad had to sweat so you could buy. #

MUSIC: Paddington Bear theme song

# Working on the site from morning till night

# That's living, all right

# Then a pint with the boys in a bar full of noise

# That's living, all right. #

CHEERING

We started off with... We decided it was The Office.

We think the second one was George And Mildred.

-No.

-No? No that was just me on that one, anyway.

And the final one we said was Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

Yes, yes.

I'm going to give a chance for the other side to get a point then.

They don't need a chance.

To see if they can steal a point.

What was the middle number? What was the middle show?

Anyone?

AUDIENCE CHATTERS

-No, we don't know.

-It was Paddington Bear.

You get the two points there, Micky's team.

Now, every day, hundreds of celebrity faces grace

the pages of the British press, and sometimes they can all

blend into one, which is luckily what this next round is about.

It's called Great Britons,

and our teams must identify two famous faces we've merged together.

To give you an example, like this one here.

LAUGHTER

Any ideas?

-That's got a bit of Mel in there.

-You think it's Melanie?

Oh! I know who the other one is.

-Am I allowed to say?

-Go on, go on.

-Yeah, it's just an example.

-Treat us, Chels.

-Is it, erm... No, I won't. No.

-Go on.

-Is it a boy?

-Is it Pete...? No, I don't know, actually.

-Let's have a look.

Ahhh!

You didn't recognise yourself!

The brilliant thing is, he still doesn't.

Micky, your team are going to go first here, OK?

So can you tell me the two faces that make up this?

-MICKY:

-Oh! Erm...

Certainly Paul McCartney's in there.

-MEL:

-I think it's a male and a female.

Paul McCartney's the guy.

CHELSEE: Cat Deeley.

Paul McCartney and possibly Cat Deeley. And Cat Deeley.

All right. And, Frank, who do you think? This is just for fun.

I think it's a McCartney double, Paul and Stella.

OK. Let's see who it is.

Yes.

So you get the one point there.

It is, of course, Paul and Stella McCartney.

Ironically, that's what Paul looks like after a night on the Stella.

OK, Frank, over to your team.

Whose faces make up this mug shot?

LEN: Oh. Ken Dodd.

AUDIENCE AND PANELLISTS CHATTER

-Is it Ken and Cilla?

-Yeah.

-So easy, that one, isn't it?

-I feel like I'm in the stocks.

Well, we think it's, um... the magnificent Ken Dodd

and the very wonderful Cilla Black.

Let's have a look and see if you're right.

Yeah!

Back to Micky's team. Who's this?

MICKY: Oh, dear.

-CHELSEE:

-Oh, I know, I know.

-Christine Bleakley and Frank Lampard.

-Is it?

-I think so.

-No!

-Is it? I think it is.

MICKY: Who's got ears like that?

Christine's laughing. She's got a little giggle on.

It looks like a hippy chimpanzee.

LAUGHTER

It's Christine and Frank Lampard.

You're going to go Christine and Frank? Yeah?

Let's have a little look.

Yeah!

CHEERING

OK, Frank, have a look at your next pair of faces.

LAUGHTER

LEN: Not a clue.

-CHRISTINE:

-I think it's Pixie Lott. Pixie Lott?

-Really?

-I think.

-Yeah.

-We think...

-We thought at first that there was a Boris...

Well, we actually thought it was Boris.

Boris with a blow-dry.

-You think Pixie Lott.

-Pixie Lott.

Pixie Lott. Who else?

Possibly Boris.

OK. Pixie Lott and Boris Johnson.

OK, let's have a look and see if you're right.

CHEERING

Yeah, it was Boris Johnson and Pixie Lott.

Well done. Two points there.

OK, Micky, it's your final picture. Come on, Micky's team.

MICKY: It's the wife.

LAUGHTER

Right. OK. What do we think?

Alan Sugar? Alan Sugar?

-MEL:

-What are the plaits telling us?

I haven't got a clue.

We can't work out any of them, to be honest with you.

We know it's an old person and someone who doesn't care

about the top of their head very much.

All right, we're thinking it might be Jane Torvill.

And the elderly-ness of the chin and that,

we're going for sort of Richard Attenborough in that.

-OK, all right.

-That genre.

Let's have a look and see if it's Jane Torvill

and Richard Attenborough.

So it's Michaela Strachan and David Attenborough.

They're very similar.

Do you know what? I kind of feel, Frank, don't you,

-that if you get an Attenborough...

-No.

AUDIENCE CHEERS AND BOOS

No way! It's a different human being!

You're taking away David

and Richard Attenborough's essential individuality.

I mean, what if he'd have said "Gordon Strachan",

would that have been all right?

All right, all right. Sorry, guys. No points there.

Did you have it, Jamelia? Did you know who that was?

-No.

-No.

You were thinking about all those happy nights in Aberdeen.

Exactly.

OK, Frank. Your final brace of faces.

-FRANK:

-Is it Branson? What do you think?

We're thinking Noel Edmonds.

CHELSEE: Is that Richard Branson?

-LEN:

-Oh, yes, yes.

-I can see it now.

-OK.

-Good.

Christine was straight in, actually. Who do you think it was?

I think it's Noel Edmonds and Anneka Rice.

OK, let's have a look and see if you're right.

CHEERING

And I've worked out the connection, because Noel is obviously Christmas

and Anneka is a Jewish celebration.

So It's a marvellous example of a multicultural Britain.

OK. Well done. Two points.

Yeah, well done, Christine.

CHEERING

At the end of that round, let's find out who our Great Briton is.

Well, Micky's team now have five points.

Yay!

-But!

-But Frank's team are cruising away on 16 points.

Now, Shakespeare famously wrote, "If music be the food of love, play on,"

and that's exactly what we're going to do now

as we play Guess The Song.

The band will play a well-known UK number one.

I want you to buzz in when you know both the song and the artist.

If you get it wrong, though, the other side get the points

without doing anything, OK? Let's hear the music.

MUSIC: "Price Tag" by Jessie J

BUZZER

Mel C!

Build up the moment, build up the moment.

It's Jessie J with Price Tag.

CHEERING

Back in the game.

It was, of course, Jessie J with Price Tag.

So let's hear that again.

There's a bonus point to be won for the supporters who sing along

the best, according to Jamelia. OK?

MEL: Take it away.

CHEERING

OK, Jamelia. Big responsibility on your shoulders now.

CHEERING

I've got to say, everyone was absolutely fantastic.

But I was so impressed by Father Christmas,

who clearly doesn't know...

Well done. You get the extra points.

-MICKY:

-All right!

Now, we Brits might be a reserved bunch,

but if someone's throwing a party, we don't need to be told twice.

We love it.

So get those paper hats and party blowers at the ready,

because it's time to play The Party Game!

# Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age

# Welcome to the house of fun

# House of fun. #

OK, as you can see,

Jonnie is looking a little bit pleased with himself, isn't he,

with a large present he's just been given.

Well, the problem is, things are not quite as they seem, because

in exactly three minutes and 24 seconds,

that gift is going to self-destruct.

Here's the deal.

I'm going to ask you a question worth one point.

Answer correctly, you pass the present onto the next person.

Get it wrong, you're stuck with the present.

The team lumbered with the box

when it self-destructs get no points at all, leaving the other team

to walk away with all the points that have been scored.

-This is a big round.

-Yeah.

-Right.

OK, have you got it? Let's start the clock.

Which much-loved British glove puppet

-has friends called Sue and Sweep?

-Sooty.

Correct!

Who's this?

Oh! Sam Cam?

Yes, Samantha Cameron. Well done to Mel.

-Len?

-Yes.

-What number proceeds "sisters"

to give the name of a North London Tube station?

Seven!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Which Roman emperor built a stone wall in Northern England

-to keep out the Scots?

-Hadrian.

-Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

In the UK, a traditional sports day event is a race involving

an egg and which item of cutlery?

-Spoon!

-Yes!

First Impressions was the working title of which Jane Austen novel?

Pardon?

LAUGHTER

I don't know. Pass.

-Pride And Prejudice.

-Pride And Prejudice.

No, I've told you now.

LAUGHTER

That would be a rubbish quiz, wouldn't it?

From 1913 until 2006, which English football team played...

Oooh! God!

Which English football team used to play at Highbury?

Oh, no! I don't like it!

It's Arsenal.

In the UK... Listen, Chelsee. In the UK, full-time workers

are entitled to a minimum of how many days' paid annual leave?

-I don't know.

-Have a guess.

-Pass.

-OK, it's 28.

-I tell you what. I might have something to eat, I think.

Television chefs Simon King and Dave Myers

-are better known as The Hairy what?

-Oh, Bikers!

Yes!

What is this Northern Irish natural wonder?

FRANK: It's, erm... The, erm...

-Oh, I've been there!

-Aargh! Come on!

-Giant's Causeway.

-Yeah!

Micky, general elections are usually held on which day of the week?

-Tuesday.

-No, Thursday.

Wham! were a British musical duo consisting of George Michael and...?

Andrew Ridgeley.

Who used the catchphrase, "I'm free",

in the '70s sitcom Are You Being Served?

I wasn't born 20 years ago!

It was Mr Humphries. What's a spotted dick?

-Oh, er... A dessert.

-Yes!

Melanie, which British artist produced this work?

Oh, that would have been...

Oh! His name's gone out my head. Oh, oh, oh! Damien Hirst!

Yes.

APPLAUSE

What pop group had a 2001 UK number one hit with Don't Stop Moving?

Was it S Club...

Seven!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What did Charles Macintosh invent in 1823?

The raincoat.

The Macintosh, yeah. Pass it on.

In the nursery rhyme, what type of pie was Jack Horner eating?

Erm, erm, erm...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

AUDIENCE CHANTS INAUDIBLY

Christine got caught with the present,

which means that all the points go to Micky's team!

CHEERING

# Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age

# Welcome to the house of fun

# House of fun. #

OK, let's take a little look at the scores so far.

Frank's team have 17 points.

But Micky's team have gone into the lead with 18 points!

It's time for a chance to win a quick two points

with another musical game.

Jamelia is going to sing a well-known James Bond theme tune.

Teams only buzz in when you know both the title of the film

and the actor who was playing James Bond in that particular movie.

-OK?

-That's tough.

Jamelia, over to you.

MUSIC BEGINS

BUZZER

-Whoa!

-Come on, Frank.

-She didn't even sing a note!

It's Nobody Does it Better, which is

from the film The Spy Who Loved Me, with Roger Moore.

Wow!

CHEERING

# Da-da-da-doo-doo-doo Da-da-da-da-doo... #

Let's hear the rest of the song,

but, teams, there's an extra point on offer for supporters

-who sway along the best.

-Come on, up we get.

Jamelia, did you notice that there were actually scarves being

held above heads in my team?

-So I think there's a commitment.

-I did actually notice that.

-Yeah, thank you.

-Did it sway your vote?

AUDIENCE CHEERS AND GROANS

If you're thinking my team didn't sway as well,

I heard people saying, "Hold on, let's just concentrate.

"Listen to Jamelia's beautiful voice."

AUDIENCE CHEERS AND GROANS

No.

Gabby, you say "no", but, Frank, flattery will get you everywhere.

CHEERING

Now, I love this round.

It's time to play As Seen On TV, and in this round, you'll be

surprised to hear, it's all about British television moments.

I'm going to show a clip and then ask a question worth two points.

The first clip is specially for Chelsee and for Jonnie, OK?

Now, since it began in Islington in 1891, Crufts has gone on

to establish itself as the greatest dog show on earth.

And with moments like this, it's not difficult to see why.

MALE COMMENTATOR: This is over the age of 12. Sarah's 17.

Handling well ahead of the dog, well ahead of the dog.

Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

If you let the dog go behind you, you can lose control.

But whoops! Oh, no!

Oh, and it was a good run too.

-Oh!

-Oh, my God.

I thought the film had stopped.

The dog stopped like it hit a wall!

And she didn't have a carrier bag with her.

Irresponsible dog ownership.

OK. Jonnie, Chelsee, I want to know, for two points,

what breed of dog is associated with the Queen?

-BUZZER

-Chelsee.

Corgis.

Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-ALL CHANT:

-Chelsee! Chelsee! Chelsee! Chelsee! Chelsee!

She's on fire.

According to the British Monarchy website,

the Queen has two corgis named Willow and Holly

and when Princess Beatrice takes them for a walk

they become Holly Willow Bea.

AUDIENCE GROAN

OK, now on to Christine and Melanie.

Last year was a summer of great British Olympic triumph.

Everything went to plan, for the athletes at least.

Not so much for government minister Jeremy Hunt.

REPORTER: All over the country, others joined in this morning,

ringing bells at 8:12am.

Among them the Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt, who just told us this.

And when there are things that don't go according to plan,

London will cope in the way it always has.

-Can we get you ringing the bell?

-Yes, sure.

Ooh!

OK, that was Jeremy Hunt, ringing a bell to start the Olympic Games.

But Christine and Melanie, what I want to know is,

which British sporting hero rang the giant Olympic bell

that started the opening ceremony.

-BUZZER

-Melanie C.

I'm going to say Bradley Wiggins.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's correct.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes, there he is.

I bet he wished he had a bell like that

the night he got knocked off his bike.

On to our silver foxes. Len and Larry.

And I want you to watch this clip of a woman

who has an unusual gift for finding water.

Now meet Catherine Brent of Deveron, Cornwall,

whose physical reaction to water is so strong

that she's literally pulled this way and that,

in the direction of the underground stream.

Scientists say that her body cells are unusually sensitive

to physical and chemical changes in the Earth.

All Catherine knows is that her reactions are so violent

that she is sometimes pulled off balance and ends up flat on her face.

You wouldn't want to do a high-five with that woman.

Len and Larry, here's your question.

If Catherine started off in Plynlimon in Wales

and followed the water all the way down to the Bristol Channel,

which river would she be...?

-BUZZER

-The Severn.

-Oh!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done, Larry.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Finally in this round, it's the turn of our captains.

Have a look at this clip of Len on Strictly Come Dancing,

judging the only way Len can.

I've got to say, Houston, we've got a problem here.

I don't know about Hollywood, it was a bit Upstairs, Downstairs.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

There's still a few problems upstairs,

if I'm honest, with your posture.

Downstairs you're quite neat and tidy.

LAUGHTER

There were one or two odd moments...

What?! I'm talking about her footwork!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Christine, did you like getting judged by Len?

Oh, I loved the whole thing and I was useless.

No, you weren't useless.

Oh, I was useless, you're just being nice now.

I remember Arlene once saying to me that from the waist up

I was Hollywood and the waist down I was dead wood.

LAUGHTER

That was Len judging and it was Jerry Hall, of course,

he was judging in more ways than one.

Frank and Micky, it's time for you to get judged on your dancing.

But don't worry, we want you to go and meet your partners now, OK?

And we're all going to wait in anticipation, as you come back.

Let's give them some support!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen,

let's meet the stars of tonight's Strictly I Love My Country.

Dancing the quickstep, please welcome Micky Flanagan,

Frank Skinner and their beautiful partners.

LEN: Wehay!

BALLROOM MUSIC PLAYS

Come on, Frank!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I remember saying, "It's OK, Officer, I'll see she gets home all right."

LAUGHTER

Has anybody got a neck brace?

LAUGHTER

Len, the quickstep is a tough one to start with, isn't it?

It's a very tough dance, because of the speed.

They've got to move very fast.

Micky actually didn't pull that off quite.

Frank, you thought his footwork was all right?

I thought his footwork was excellent. He'd got the smile.

Look at the smile. Yeah. Very proud and haughty.

I thought Frank was fantastic.

Ooh, ooh.

OK, Jamelia always has the final say here.

Jamelia, who gets the two points?

She looks gorgeous this evening.

Really is the best-looking girl I've ever seen, I think.

Frank, you were brilliant, but I've got to choose Micky this time.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

SOME BOOING

Who are ya? Who are ya?

Well, what has that done to our scores?

Frank's team are on 21 points.

Micky's team are on 28 points.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I think you should think about getting Jamelia as a judge on Strictly.

Yeah, yeah. She was brilliant.

It's the grand finale. We're going to play The Big Wheel.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# You spin me right round, baby

# Right round like a record, baby

# Round, round, round, round... #

There are loads of points up for grabs

on the wheel and it works like this.

I'm going to ask you a question.

If you get that question right,

your captain gets a chance to spin the wheel.

If it lands on the special eight, your team

can either take the eight points or you can gamble and spin again.

Micky's team are in the lead, so they're up first.

It's a well-known fact that we're a nation of tea drinkers.

Oh, who likes a cup of tea?

Anyone here in the tea industry?

-Through a process of elimination...

-Yeah.

I had one this morning.

LAUGHTER

Chelsee had one.

Mel didn't have one, but Larry had one.

So we know there's definitely three been drunk so far, today alone.

So no, we're working it out at sort of...

-something like 60 million people in the country.

-Um-hm.

Probably a large percentage of those are children.

-So about 40 million people, we're saying three a day?

-Yeah.

Three fours are...? Sorry, Chels.

LAUGHTER

-So we're going to go for...

-110, I'd say.

110 million.

OK. Micky's team are going for 110 million...

More?

Hold on, because we've got a man in our crowd

who claims that he actually knows the answer.

Oh, no. Here we go. Mr Tea.

How many cups of tea do we drink as a nation every day?

I think it's 165 million.

-What's your name?

-Barry.

We're going with Barry. What about that?

OK, Barry has given you some kind of insight

and you think it's higher than 110 million.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-I can tell you...

Barry's right.

There are 165 million cups of tea

drunk every day.

-AUDIENCE CHANT:

-Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry.

Well done, Frank. Come and spin the wheel.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Give it a big one, Frank.

I'm so proud of Barry.

I think he should have an island named after him.

LAUGHTER

FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYS

OK, how many are we behind at the moment?

This will put you one point ahead.

If we took eight? But you know what?

We don't want to give you that.

-Gamble, gamble...

-Shall we try higher?

-Yeah. AUDIENCE:

-Gamble, gamble...

Yeah, this is going to be big big.

LAUGHTER

FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYS

Oh, dear.

If there's any children at home watching,

you can learn a lesson from that.

Just be happy with what you've got.

OK, let's move on to our second question.

You ready, Barry?

Your team do get to answer this one first.

OK, the London 2012 Olympics were unforgettable,

but let's see if you remember this.

I'm going to give you a clue.

Jonnie was there so that's one.

I'm assuming Jonnie can name them.

Do you know how many were in the Paralympics

-to start off with, Jonnie?

-I haven't a clue.

-What?

Barry, what about you?

-5,050?

-5,050 in the Olympics?

-There'll be more in the Paralympics.

-Did you used to be Carol Vorderman?

LAUGHTER

Are you saying about 7,000?

Maybe, I'd say about that.

And five and a half. That's 12 and a half.

Say 13.

OK, give me your final answer, Frank.

OK, we're going to go, unlucky for some, 13,000.

13,000. OK, Micky...

Does anyone know here?

Have we got a Barry in the audience?

Somebody stood there and counted every contestant.

Hands up for lower?

It is... I think the consensus is lower, yeah.

Micky's team are saying lower than 13,000. OK.

Well, I can tell you that the number of athletes who entered

both the Olympics and the Paralympics in 2012 was 14,690.

-AUDIENCE CHANT:

-Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry.

Come and spin the wheel again, Frank. Come on.

Come on, Frank!

Bit better this time. Give it a big one, come on.

FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYS

So close, so close.

Oh, that was so... Oh, oh.

Four points.

OK, let's see how that affects the scores

as we go into the last question.

Frank, you're on 25, Micky's side, you're on 28.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

One question left.

And for this last question we're introducing

two new possibilities to the Big Wheel.

You can see right now that you can score 100 points,

or you could end up losing everything.

But before we give you the question, ladies and gentlemen,

I want you to welcome tonight's special guest.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

This is Liz West.

Now, Liz holds a world record that has something to do

with one of our celebrity guests here tonight.

Have any of you got any idea?

Does she have the biggest collection of Spice Girls records?

-How do you know that?

-Does she?!

-Yes.

-Oh, blimey!

She's got the biggest collection of Spice Girls memorabilia.

-But you were close.

-Oh, very close.

-Very close, yeah.

-It's odd, because she looks all right.

I should have known the name,

because didn't I send you something last week? Hiya!

So tell us how many items of memorabilia,

official Spice Girls memorabilia, have you got in your collection?

There's 2,066 official.

APPLAUSE

And what would you say is the most prized item in your collection?

Have you got Geri's dress?

Not the Union Jack one, but it would be one of Geri's dresses.

You've got one of Geri's dresses?

-Yes. There's me wearing it.

-That's you wearing the dress.

Is that from a tour?

That was from the first Spiceworld Tour.

Yeah, OK. This is your question then.

The dress we just saw there.

One of her most prized possessions.

Micky, you have the chance to answer this first.

Well, I paid £4 for three pairs of socks the other day.

And I thought that was extortionate, to be honest with you.

So we were saying somewhere between three and four,

so we'll go 3,500.

Frank, 3,500 from Micky. Have I got more or less?

Well, one of the problems we've got is Barry doesn't recall this.

LAUGHTER

But we think... I've spoken to Len, who spends a lot of time

around glittery outfits, and he thinks that sounds a bit pricey.

So I'm going to go lower than that.

-You're going to go less than £3,500?

-Yes.

OK. Liz?

This kills me to say it, cos I want Melanie's team to win...

Aww...

How sweet that you must stab your hero in the heart.

Liz, have you ever heard of a thing called a lie?

LAUGHTER

-Go on, Liz.

-It cost £2,500.

Well done, Liz. Thank you so, so much.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Liz, ladies and gentlemen.

APPLAUSE

OK, come up to the wheel. You can mess this up, we know that.

-I know that.

-This is not a foregone conclusion.

-Four points to win.

-Four points to win.

Come on, Frank!

Four points to win!

You know what?

You know when I spun the wheel and I got nought,

I remember thinking, "Well, it can't get any worse."

The point scoring is over

and the plucky British runners-up are Frank's team with no points!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Which means, with 28 points, the team and supporters going home

with the I Love My Country commemorative plates are Micky's.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's it for tonight's show.

Thanks to Jamelia and the I Love My Country house band.

To Jonnie, Christine and Len.

To Chelsee, Melanie C and Larry.

And to you at home, for watching. I'm Gabby Logan.

I love my country. Good night.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd