Episode 4 Ja'mie: Private School Girl


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Transcript


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This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.

0:00:010:00:04

'Dad went and picked up Kwami, the African guy...

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GIRLS SQUEAL

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My wife, Jhyll, and I are agreeable for everything.

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Bye-bye.

0:00:100:00:12

'..and he came to live with us. For a month.'

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Don't sit there or there, that's me and Dad.

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As if he's gonna eat that. Yuck!

0:00:150:00:17

'He's staying in my sister's room.'

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-Get out!

-You don't have to be a fucking bitch.

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Well, don't fucking come in when Kwami's in here, you fucking perv!

0:00:210:00:23

'He had an awesome day at Hillford.'

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What kind of girls are you into?

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Would you go other races or are you, like, strictly black?

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Everyone was really excited about the Perfect Prefect Party.

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-Do you want Ja'mie to flash her tits?

-Shut up!

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Fucking bitch! I am not doing it. I'm not a full sluzza.

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'And it ended up being the funnest and most epic night ever.'

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Get back inside! Get out of the party!

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Seriously, I told you! It's a no-parent party.

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'We had a few hiccups with the boarders turning up uninvited.'

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The Facebook event said all Year 12s.

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Yeah, everyone except Asians and boarders -

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it goes without fucking saying!

0:00:550:00:57

'But I told them where to go.'

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Go away, or I'll get my dad to fucking bash the shit out of you!

0:00:580:01:01

-You are NOT fat...!

-I FUCKING HATE YOU!

0:01:010:01:05

'And the best news of all is that

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'I hooked up with Mitchell at the party,

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'and now we're officially going out.'

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GIRLS SQUEAL

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I'm going out with Mitchell! Yolo!

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THEME MUSIC PLAYING

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SAMANTHA JADE: "What You've Done To Me"

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# Sometimes you get what you want

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# Sometimes you get what you don't...#

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Oh, my God. He's calling me.

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Hi, Mitchy!

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Oh, my God!

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Mitchell! Hey.

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# Till there's nothing at all...#

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Omigod, he's got the ball!

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# You shot your love through my defences

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# And left me wide open

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# Feels like my feet can't touch the ground

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-# That's what you've done to me... #

-Show me how to do it.

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# I'm a rocket to the sun

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# I'm a heartbeat on the run

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# That's what you've done to me

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# I'm a bullet I can fly

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# When you kiss me, I could die

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-# That's what you've... #

-I wanna perm your hair again.

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# ..done to me. #

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Goodnight.

0:03:010:03:03

Having a boyfriend is the best.

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It's so good. I'm so into him.

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I just can't stop thinking about him.

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And, like, we're really compatible, like, looks-wise. We're both quiche.

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And I know it's only been, like, a week, but I just...

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I just love him so much. He's the best.

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Like, at the moment, like, we finish each other's sentences.

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I'll say something and we'll be, like, "Bla-bla-bla" at the same time. It's so cute!

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And you know what I love the most? I love his face.

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Like, his whole fucking face.

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He's got, like, the bushy eyebrows and the chin and...

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It's such a cute face.

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Omigod, and he gets these little salivary bits on, like,

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the corners of his mouth and I have to, like, wipe it off.

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It's so cute. His nose is so... Like, have a look at this photo.

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Like, see that photo there? See how his nose kind of goes up?

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It's like... It's like that.

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It's a little piggy, but it's kind of, like, quiche piggy.

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Do you know what I mean?

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And you know what I love too? His Facebook...

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Um, check this out.

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"In a relationship with Ja'mie King."

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-Oh, my God!

-KISSES NOISILY

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Fucking love you so much.

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That's shit cray.

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Have you done all your homework?

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It's not a homework night. It's study night.

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Do you know what my favourite body part of Mitchell is?

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Have a guess.

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His thighs. I fucking love his thighs.

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They're so fucking hot.

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Like, I went to Westfield the other day

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and he was walking around with his short shorts on.

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And I was, like... I was looking at his thighs

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and I was, like,

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"Ohhhh! Oh, my God."

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Do you know what I mean? It's, like, I was so aroused.

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-Ja'mie.

-What?

-Off the bed.

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You should be studying, not lazing around all afternoon.

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Kwami, get to your own room. No more visiting each other's rooms.

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I'm reading to him. That's why he's in here. I'm educating him.

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You can do that in the living room.

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I'm not going to the fucking living room.

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Courtney's in there, and she smells.

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Kwami, get on Courtney's computer and Skype me.

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I'm gonna read to you over Skype.

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-Um, Daddy...

-What?

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Tomorrow, would it be cool if Mitchell came to Bunnings with us?

0:05:000:05:04

No. Not tomorrow, darl.

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-Pwease, Daddy? Ja'mie want him to.

-No. Study.

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You need those marks for uni, Ja'mie.

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Stop being a hater.

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We'll decide tomorrow, OK?

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Um, last time I'm letting you in my room.

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I'm getting a lock on the door.

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Kwami, get on Skype now. I'm gonna read to you.

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And no offence, Dad, but you're a massive bastard.

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# You make me want to stand out tonight

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# Turn off the lights

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# Give up the fight

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# Surrender

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# You got me good

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# I knew that you would

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# Did the best that I could

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-# I surrender.

-#

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Seriously, it's, like, the worst day of my life.

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Like, I would happily kill myself.

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Oh, my God. Guys, did Olivia tell you?

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The most fucked-up thing happened this morning.

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-You're gonna die.

-Seriously, like, I can't even deal.

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I actually wanna kill myself right now.

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Tell me everything.

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Um, OK, so I'm at the Kelton gates saying goodbye to Mitchell,

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and I farted.

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-Oh, my God. That's hec.

-Yeah.

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-Fully loud?

-Yeah, like, right in front of him.

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-Yeah, he totally heard it.

-Are you sure?

-Do the sound.

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-I'm not doing the sound.

-Do the sound.

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I'm not doing it. Guys, it's not funny.

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-You have to do the sound.

-It's not funny.

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-Seriously, it was humiliating.

-Just try.

-Just do it.

-Come on.

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Alright. It was kind of like...

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IMITATES FART

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-It was kinda like...

-IMMY LAUGHS

-Shut up!

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-It's not funny!

-It's pretty funny.

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It was more muffled than that, like...

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-And he kind of, like, just ignored it.

-Did he hear it?

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Yeah, we both pretended it didn't happen, though.

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Like, he so obvs heard it.

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Seriously, I wanna kill myself right now.

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-Ja'mie, no, you don't.

-It's probably not even that bad.

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-I do.

-He probably didn't even hear it.

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It's disgusting. Seriously, and it's so random cos I never even fart.

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Yes, you do. You totally fart all the time.

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-Shut up. I'm not talking to you.

-You do it all night.

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-You fart a lot.

-Fuck off. I'm not talking to you.

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I'm not kidding. It's so loud, I can hear it from my bedroom.

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Can you just fuck off, OK? I wish I fucking drowned you as a child.

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-Let's get straight into it, please.

-Hi, Miss.

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Positions, everyone.

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-Ja'mie, we're gonna go from verse two.

-OK, cool.

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Girls, that means sopranos, altos and entry at bar 25.

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Now, remember, it's only a few weeks until Presentation Day

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so we want this to sound really incredible.

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And because it's our centenary year, this is the big one.

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# As I look back on my education

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# And all that I have learned

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# Get a glimpse of my life destination

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# And fly up like a bird

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# The girl that's grown in many ways

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# The things that I have learned

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# Hillford sets my spirit free

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# A woman I will be

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# Cos I'm learning to be me...#

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# Never to be alone... #

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So are you guys nervous about dance assessment?

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Nah, not really. I'm so prepared so...

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Are your mum and dad coming? Mine are.

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Uh, yeah, Mum, Dad and Kwami are coming.

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And Mitchell's gonna come after rugby.

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I'm so nervous about him watching me dance, though.

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Oh, don't even worry, Ja'mie, you're the best dancer in Year 12. Legit.

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Yeah, I know I am.

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Oh, my God. Look.

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Erin and Lauren are totally faking that they can't see us.

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How much are they still not over the party?

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How much am I not over her calling me fat?

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Erin, hi.

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Are you nervous about dance assessment?

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-No.

-You shouldn't be.

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Cos I heard the judges are really lenient towards girls with your body type.

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It's kind of like a handicap thing, so you should be alright.

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We don't like you, Ja'mie. Why would we wanna talk to you?

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I'm not talking to you, lezlord.

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Why don't you go lick your own vagina? You love doing it so much.

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Cos I wouldn't wanna turn you on.

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Um, you wouldn't cos I've got a boyfriend. I'm straight, unlike you.

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I like guys.

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Oh my God, she seriously has a mental problem.

0:09:100:09:12

-She needs to go on medication.

-I know.

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And get a decent haircut. I'm sick of looking at her stupid hair.

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What? Were we supposed to have them finished by this week?

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It's OK, this took me no time. Really?

0:09:200:09:22

That book was so easy to read. I read it in, like, two hours.

0:09:220:09:25

-Ja'mie. Ja'mie. Oh, my God.

-What?

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I'm so glad I found you. What happened?

0:09:300:09:33

Have you guys checked Facebook in the last ten minutes?

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-No, why?

-Oh, my God. I'm literally freaking out right now.

0:09:350:09:39

I was looking at Mitchell's page and he changed his status to,

0:09:390:09:43

'At Westfield with the amazing Madison Cartwright.

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Best way to spend a free period.'

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-What the fuck?

-I know.

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I saw her this morning and she did not tell me she was going there with him.

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-Sneaky little fucking bitch.

-I know!

0:09:520:09:54

Why would he be with Madison at Westfield?

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That makes no fucking sense. I'm, like, spinning out right now.

0:09:560:09:58

-What's she doing?

-Do they even talk?

-I don't even know.

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Fuck. I'm gonna check his Facebook.

0:10:010:10:02

-I am literally freaking out right now.

-I know.

0:10:020:10:05

-JA'MIE GASPS

-What?

0:10:050:10:07

Oh, my God! He's changed his relationship status to single.

0:10:070:10:11

-What?!

-It's Mitchell's Facebook.

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It's not you, Ja'mie. He's the bastard in this situation.

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-Madison is an idiot for doing this.

-Do you think it was the fart?

0:10:150:10:20

Why would he be with Madison at Westfield? That's fucked up.

0:10:200:10:23

Madison's got Ancient in 1-1 right now.

0:10:230:10:25

We should go ask what the fuck's going on.

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I don't care what her fucking excuse is. She's gonna get slapped.

0:10:270:10:30

Miss, all the Prefects have got an urgent meeting. We have to go.

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Yes, girls, that's fine.

0:10:340:10:35

Yes?

0:10:380:10:40

Sir, Madison Cartwright needs to see Ms Welham immediately.

0:10:400:10:43

Thanks, Ja'mie. Madison, off you go.

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Get outside.

0:10:460:10:48

Get out.

0:10:500:10:52

What?

0:10:560:10:57

Did you go in your free with Mitchell to the fucking Westfield?

0:10:570:11:02

Yeah. Why is that a problem?

0:11:020:11:03

It's a problem cos he's my fucking boyfriend.

0:11:030:11:06

He told me that you guys were never really together.

0:11:060:11:08

-That's bullshit!

-Are you fucking serious?!

0:11:080:11:10

Ja'mie, did you really think that you were officially going out?

0:11:100:11:13

-Cos you weren't.

-Of course they were!

0:11:130:11:15

-I'm not even joking.

-I was with him 24/7. How is that not going out?

0:11:150:11:18

Just calm down. Listen to me.

0:11:180:11:20

He told me you guys are really good mates, but that was it.

0:11:200:11:23

And you know that I've always liked him.

0:11:230:11:25

What are you saying? I'm his fucking girlfriend.

0:11:250:11:28

Exactly!

0:11:280:11:29

If he was really your boyfriend then why was he hooking up with other girls?

0:11:290:11:33

He wasn't.

0:11:330:11:34

He hooked up with Tash Morowski from Monte the other week.

0:11:340:11:37

What about the Prefect promise? We're supposed to stick together!

0:11:370:11:39

As School Captain, I'm taking your badge. You're no longer a Prefect.

0:11:390:11:42

-Fuck off!

-I fucking hate you!

0:11:420:11:45

Because of you, he's changed his relationship status to single.

0:11:450:11:48

Just seriously, chill, Ja'mie! Don't fucking tell me to chill!

0:11:480:11:50

-Did you even have sex with him?

-Yes.

0:11:500:11:54

-Well, you're lying cos he told me that you didn't.

-You're lying!

0:11:540:11:57

Well, he fingered me, so same diff.

0:11:570:11:59

Well, that's not what he told me.

0:11:590:12:01

He said that youse tried, like, five times, but every time, you freaked out.

0:12:010:12:04

-Stop lying, Madison.

-I'm not lying.

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Have you kissed him? Yeah.

0:12:060:12:07

-What?!

-Oh, you fucking...

0:12:070:12:09

-Get her, Ja'mie!

-Fucking hit her!

0:12:090:12:11

Don't pull my hair extensions out - they were two fucking grand!

0:12:110:12:13

I fucking hate you!

0:12:130:12:15

-Fucking slut!

-You're a fucking slut!

0:12:150:12:17

Maybe you shouldn't have farted in his face this morning.

0:12:170:12:19

He told me about it. It's disgusting, Ja'mie!

0:12:190:12:21

I fucking hate you!

0:12:210:12:23

He's my boyfriend and you're supposed to be my best friend!

0:12:230:12:25

No offence, but you were kidding yourself from the start, Ja'mie.

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He and his mates were laughing about you the whole time.

0:12:280:12:31

I can't believe you didn't even realise.

0:12:310:12:32

You go around saying how quiche you are.

0:12:320:12:34

But I'm just being honest. You're not that quiche, Ja'mie!

0:12:340:12:37

PANDEMONIUM

0:12:370:12:40

Oi! What's going on? Get off her!

0:12:400:12:42

Ja'mie! Ja'mie King, back here now!

0:12:420:12:46

Are you all right? You OK?

0:12:470:12:48

Yeah, I'm all right.

0:12:480:12:50

-Oh, my God.

-He's coming, Ja'mie.

0:13:000:13:02

Love you guys.

0:13:040:13:06

GIRLS: Stay strong. We love you, Ja'mie.

0:13:060:13:08

-What?

-Hi.

0:13:150:13:18

Um...

0:13:180:13:19

Did you kiss Madison?

0:13:200:13:23

Yeah.

0:13:230:13:24

I didn't think we were exclusive.

0:13:260:13:28

Is it cos I'm fat?

0:13:360:13:38

No.

0:13:390:13:41

SOBS

0:13:440:13:46

-Oh, my God.

-GIRLS: It's OK.

0:13:470:13:50

-SOBBING:

-I asked...him if I...was fat and he...didn't...

0:13:500:13:53

# No-one leaves the lights on anymore... #

0:13:530:13:55

-You are not fat.

-Don't even think like that, Ja'mie.

0:13:550:14:00

# The towels are hanging just where they should... #

0:14:000:14:03

I fucking loved him!

0:14:030:14:04

# It's drop-dead quiet in my neighbourhood

0:14:040:14:07

# I'm not that fragile

0:14:080:14:12

# I'm not gonna break

0:14:120:14:15

# Love's so overrated... #

0:14:150:14:17

Jamie, it's your turn.

0:14:170:14:19

# I'm not gonna need, not gonna need... '

0:14:190:14:22

Ja'mie King, student number 263387.

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# ...need you if I fall

0:14:240:14:27

# So why am I crying?

0:14:270:14:32

# I'm not gonna miss Not gonna miss

0:14:320:14:35

# Not gonna miss you Not at all

0:14:350:14:40

# So what am I doing here on the floor crying?

0:14:420:14:47

# I don't need your love notes to cheer me up

0:14:470:14:51

# I can live without that kind of stuff

0:14:540:14:59

# You don't have to wake me with a kiss every day

0:15:000:15:04

# I'm tired of roses anyway

0:15:040:15:09

# I'm not that fragile

0:15:090:15:12

# I'm not gonna break

0:15:120:15:15

-# Love's so overrated... #

-OK, Erin, it's your turn.

0:15:150:15:21

# I'm not gonna need Not gonna need

0:15:210:15:24

# Not gonna need you if I fall

0:15:240:15:30

# So why am I crying?

0:15:300:15:34

# I'm not gonna miss Not gonna miss... #

0:15:340:15:36

-Well done.

-You did very well.

0:15:360:15:38

# Not gonna miss you Not at all

0:15:380:15:43

# So what am I doing here on the floor crying?

0:15:440:15:49

# So don't you worry about me

0:15:490:15:53

# Go on, enjoy being free

0:15:530:15:58

# I don't miss your dirty clothes on the floor

0:16:030:16:08

# I'm not gonna beg Not gonna crawl

0:16:090:16:12

# Not gonna need you if I fall

0:16:120:16:18

# So what am I doing here on the floor?

0:16:190:16:23

# Doing here on the floor, crying? #

0:16:230:16:28

DOORBELL CHIMES

0:16:280:16:33

-Hello, darling.

-Hi, Mrs King. How is she?

0:16:330:16:36

She's OK, sweetheart. I'll come and get you.

0:16:360:16:38

OK.

0:16:380:16:40

Hi, Ja'mie.

0:16:450:16:47

It's Cody.

0:16:470:16:49

Are you feeling any better?

0:16:490:16:52

Sweetie, come on, come out and talk to Cody.

0:16:520:16:54

No.

0:16:540:16:55

'The last few days have literally been the worst days

0:16:550:16:58

'of my whole entire 17 years of my life.

0:16:580:17:01

'Like, seriously, I'm so devo, it's not even funny.

0:17:010:17:05

'I've had three days off school.

0:17:050:17:08

'And my mum had to buy, like, a bulk amount of tissues

0:17:080:17:12

'cos I've been crying so much.

0:17:120:17:14

-Wanna take the box?

-Yep.

0:17:140:17:15

'Life's just not worth living any more, do you know what I mean?

0:17:150:17:18

My mum and dad reckon I've got the black dog.

0:17:180:17:21

Which is, like...

0:17:210:17:22

Like, every time I think of something happy,

0:17:220:17:25

I just, like, turn it into a black dog.

0:17:250:17:27

Like, that's just me looking at the wall,

0:17:300:17:33

and I can't even look at the wall without thinking sad things.

0:17:330:17:36

SOBS

0:17:380:17:40

Uhm...and I've had a few suicide attempts.

0:17:400:17:43

-Um, can you pass me my Marie Claire?

-Yeah, sure.

0:17:430:17:46

I wanna show you this dress.

0:17:460:17:48

Give me it!

0:17:520:17:53

I've got fucking clinical depression, you fucking idiot.

0:17:530:17:56

Jokes, bebs. Chill.

0:17:560:17:57

'Mum's been, like, hiding all the stuff in my room.

0:17:570:17:59

Like, trying to hide anything I might be able to kill myself with.

0:17:590:18:02

Like, any sharp stuff like pens and, like, um...

0:18:020:18:06

Well, it's all gone so...

0:18:060:18:08

Like my tweezers and my hair straighteners and stuff.

0:18:080:18:11

Mum took that cos she thought I might, like, burn myself. To death.

0:18:110:18:15

-I would go, like, a strapless one.

-Definitely. I was thinking that.

0:18:150:18:17

That's really flattering on shoulders like mine.

0:18:170:18:20

'But you know what I was thinking?

0:18:200:18:21

'Like, you can hide all the stuff you like, Mum and Dad, but,

0:18:210:18:24

like, I could, for example, put my head through that window

0:18:240:18:27

and, like, slam the window down on my head and, like, chop my head off

0:18:270:18:32

if I wanted to kill myself.

0:18:320:18:34

You can't control what I wanna do. If I wanna die, I'm gonna die.

0:18:340:18:37

Get out!

0:18:370:18:40

Get out of my room!

0:18:400:18:42

Jamie, while I'm here, could I please grab my Pilates DVD?

0:18:420:18:45

No! Stop asking me for it!

0:18:450:18:47

I'm sick of it.

0:18:470:18:49

All right, if you don't fucking come in my room again.

0:18:500:18:52

-Take it!

-Thank you.

0:18:520:18:54

'My mum is being such a bitch.

0:18:540:18:56

'She doesn't even understand what I'm going through.

0:18:560:18:58

I stole my mum's antidepressants.

0:18:580:19:00

I've been trying them out, but they're not really working.

0:19:000:19:04

Baby, do you want a cookie?

0:19:040:19:05

Do you want any Coke too?

0:19:090:19:11

'The only person in my family that understands me is Kwami.

0:19:140:19:17

'He really gets me.'

0:19:170:19:19

Kwami's here. He's gonna make you feel better.

0:19:190:19:21

Hi, Kwami.

0:19:210:19:23

'You know, I just have to look at Kwami and I cry

0:19:230:19:26

'and he puts his arm around me and he just makes me feel better.

0:19:260:19:28

'He's got these really long arms and he's so warm and... I love him.

0:19:280:19:34

So you know it's legit now?

0:19:340:19:36

-They're, like, officially going out.

-I know.

0:19:360:19:38

Madison and Mitchell.

0:19:380:19:39

I don't fucking care. They can have each other.

0:19:390:19:41

They're both backstabbing fuckheads.

0:19:410:19:44

Are you still gonna let her come to Bali for schoolies?

0:19:440:19:46

As if I would fucking let her come. No fucking way.

0:19:460:19:49

Yeah, awkies. It'll still be fun just with us, though.

0:19:490:19:52

No, it's gonna be awesome.

0:19:520:19:54

The thing that I'm most pissed off about is, like, dance assessment.

0:19:540:19:57

It's, like, cos she fucked me up.

0:19:570:19:58

And now I'm not gonna get my ATAR of 99.

0:19:580:20:01

-And Dad's not gonna get me the BMW.

-That sucks...

0:20:010:20:03

And my life might as well be fucking over.

0:20:030:20:05

Well, I don't know, you could still get into TAFE or something.

0:20:050:20:07

-I hope you're fucking kidding.

-Jokes, bebs. Chill.

0:20:070:20:11

Also, that fucking heifer's dance was painful.

0:20:110:20:14

-I know.

-Fat people should not dance.

0:20:140:20:15

-I know.

-It should be, like, a school rule.

0:20:150:20:17

I seriously can't even deal with how fat her arse looked in that bodysuit.

0:20:170:20:21

-So fucking fat.

-It was, like, gross!

-I know.

0:20:210:20:24

-Hey, Kwami.

-Hey, Kwams.

0:20:240:20:27

We're just talking about the whole Mitchell thing.

0:20:270:20:29

-Mitchell's an idiot.

-I know.

0:20:290:20:32

That guy is seriously the biggest douche in Sydney.

0:20:320:20:35

He's a fucking wanklord. I'm so glad you didn't let him fuck you, though.

0:20:350:20:38

-Uh, he fingered me.

-I thought you said you made that up.

0:20:380:20:41

No, he totally fingered me. It was, like...

0:20:410:20:44

He did it a few times. It was really good.

0:20:440:20:46

Anyway, you are so much better than him, Ja'mie.

0:20:460:20:48

So when do you reckon you're gonna come back to school?

0:20:480:20:50

Well, I've got flute assessment tomorrow so I've gotta go back,

0:20:500:20:53

but it's gonna suck cos everyone's gonna be staring at me.

0:20:530:20:55

It's gonna be like the worst day of my life.

0:20:550:20:57

No, they're not. No-one's gonna care about it.

0:20:570:21:00

They fucking will. Olivia told me that, like, everyone in the whole school

0:21:000:21:03

for the last three days has been talking about it.

0:21:030:21:05

Like I'm gonna walk in through the front fucking gates

0:21:050:21:07

and everyone's gonna go,

0:21:070:21:08

'There's that fat fucking loser who can't even keep a boyfriend.'

0:21:080:21:11

Ja'mie, just don't give them the chance. Rock up full confidence.

0:21:110:21:15

Like, strut your stuff.

0:21:150:21:17

I don't know. You need to like make them think that you don't even give a shit.

0:21:170:21:20

Like, fully reinvent yourself or something.

0:21:200:21:23

That could actually be really cool. Like, full makeover.

0:21:230:21:26

Like, I go back but it's like...

0:21:260:21:27

I'm, like, a rebel. Like, I don't even...

0:21:270:21:30

Like, I don't even give a shit what anyone thinks.

0:21:300:21:32

Rebel Ja'mie. Oh, my God. This could be amazeballs.

0:21:320:21:34

Oh, my God! I could totally do your makeup.

0:21:340:21:36

-Yes!

-Oh, my God, you can do my make...

0:21:360:21:39

We'll do hair extensions and a full really dark fake tan

0:21:390:21:41

-and, like, slut socks.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Oh, my God, hoop ear...

0:21:410:21:44

-Oh, my God.

-Like, fully break the school rules.

0:21:440:21:46

-Come on. I'm totally gonna style you.

-These babies?

-Yeah, the hoops.

0:21:460:21:49

-Definitely rock those. Hang on.

-Oh, my God.

0:21:490:21:52

-We'll have to do something here...

-I've got a fucking sewing machine.

0:21:520:21:54

-Yes!

-Can you do it?

-What do you reckon about that?

0:21:540:21:57

-I can easily do it.

-Yes, pull in the sleeves and then do full open.

-Tits.

0:21:570:22:00

I can wear, like, full slut socks.

0:22:000:22:03

-GASPS

-Oh, my God! This is gonna be good!

0:22:030:22:06

I seriously cannot wait till Monday! It'll be so good.

0:22:060:22:08

Kwami, I'm gonna go back on Monday and have, like, a full slut outfit.

0:22:080:22:11

-Oh, my God!

-It's gonna be so good.

0:22:110:22:13

Just strutting in - I'm a fucking rebel, fuck you all!

0:22:130:22:16

-Oh, my God. Fuck yeah!

-I can't fucking wait till Monday!

0:22:160:22:19

She's back and she's a motherfucking rebel.

0:22:190:22:21

-Yay!

-Yay! I can't wait till Monday!

0:22:210:22:24

Yay! Oh, my God!

0:22:240:22:26

-I'm going back to school.

-Oh, my God.

0:22:260:22:28

Tomorrow's gonna be the best day of my whole fucking life!

0:22:280:22:32

Oh, my God, Kwami. It's gonna be so cool.

0:22:320:22:34

I'm so excited! Yay!

0:22:340:22:36

'Next time on Ja'mie: Private School Girl.

0:22:400:22:43

I just love being a rebel.

0:22:430:22:44

Oh, my God. Mr Hayes is gonna kill you.

0:22:440:22:46

Um, do I look like I care?

0:22:460:22:48

-Let Muck-Up Day begin!

-GIRLS CHEER

0:22:480:22:51

-Quick, get 'em!

-Oh, my God!

0:22:510:22:53

-Sucked in, Year 7!

-SCREAMING

0:22:530:22:57

Obvs, it's never gonna work out.

0:22:570:22:59

You are really povo and you're black. And I am...

0:22:590:23:02

-Hey, is Ja'mie there?

-Hi.

0:23:020:23:05

-Hey, check your phone.

-Oh, my God. It's a dick pic.

0:23:050:23:07

Sorry to be the one to tell you, but your boyfriend just sent me a dick pic.

0:23:070:23:12

Oh, my God. Yep, that's definitely his dick.

0:23:120:23:14

He also said that you smell, which I didn't really wanna say but...

0:23:140:23:17

-So why is your dad here?

-My dad's here?

0:23:170:23:20

You've got your chest out on Facebook, Jamie.

0:23:200:23:22

I can't even look at you right now.

0:23:220:23:23

-Such a stupid, fucking little bitch.

-Shut up!

0:23:230:23:26

Will you cease using this disgusting...

0:23:260:23:28

We're only here because she broke into my Facebook.

0:23:280:23:30

Your tits are out and you're singing the school song.

0:23:300:23:32

I love you, bebs, but you're a freak.

0:23:320:23:34

If you don't give me the Hillford Medal,

0:23:340:23:36

I might be forced to put that video online for everyone to see.

0:23:360:23:40

It's really good news, isn't it, Ja'mie?

0:23:400:23:42

I wouldn't be so sure if I was you, bitches.

0:23:420:23:45

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