Episode 4 Jonah from Tonga


Episode 4

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Transcript


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This programme contains very strong language and adult humour

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Otherwise your ass is going to get red-hot when I smacks it.

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'But me and the boys went bowling anyway.'

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Come over here, you little fuckwits! You're dead, motherfucker.

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Would I be able to papier-mache you?

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Why the fuck would you want to do that?

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'This hot girl, Melody, helped me with my art assignment.'

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Stop trying to touch my boobs, you sicko!

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-Oi, fellas!

-Let's go, boys.

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'And we tried to hide from Kool Kris to get out of counselling.'

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Sister, I feel sick. You are a nun. You look quite good in your hood.

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'He made us write an anti-bullying song for the talent competition.'

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# So don't be a bully

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# Moolly-moolly! #

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'And if you win the national final, you go to America.'

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-Uh, fuck!

-That's sick.

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That a traditional machete. Sharpest shit I do.

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'And George from the Soldierz gave Moses a traditional machete

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'because we were so brave.'

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Get up, get up, get up!

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CAR HORN BEEPS

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Sorry, car!

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You should feel my heart right now. It's beating so fast!

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# It's a good day

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# Every day is OK

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# It's a good day

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# The sun is shining my way

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# It's a good day

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# It's gonna be better than Sunday... #

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Want to take a seat? The boys are coming in now.

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-Boys.

-Sir, what are we doing? Why have we got the desks like this?

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Like I've told you before, Jonah,

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we've got a couple of special visitors with us today.

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It's the Catholic Education people. You've got to be good.

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Hey, beast. Hi, sir. Welcome to Spaz House. Have a seat.

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Jonah, take a seat. Look after yourself, please, son.

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I'm just being welcoming, sir.

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All right, then, very good. But sit down.

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'I've been under review at Lazarus House for a few months.'

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The principle here is just a fucking major pain in the arse.

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He's dobbed me into the Catholic Education Office

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cos he doesn't believe what we do here is any good.

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Sitting up and listening up.

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'So, their idea is sticky-beaking around, checking up on me,

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'making sure I tick all the boxes.

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'It's just a fucking pain in the dick.'

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What we've been doing in this class, as you know, in the last

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couple of months is we've been talking about mechanics, yes?

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But we've also been talking about where that can take you.

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-What are you talking about?

-Jonah, while I'm talking,

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you guys are listening, all right?

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Can we just do practical? This is shit.

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Jonah, did I hear a swear word then?

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Do you want to go and stand in the naughty corner?

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What's the naughty corner?

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You just made that up cos they're here.

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-No, I didn't.

-Yeah, you did.

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'Well, I had a word with the kids about the observation day.

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'Told them, you know, just to keep it in check.'

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You know, not to swear and fuck round,

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and just play along with it for my sake.

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-So, hand one of those back, thanks.

-We don't even do worksheets.

-Righto.

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-Sir, this is gay.

-Sir, I need one.

-There you go. Just a bit of patience.

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Those two there, boys. Righto, move that out of the hallway there, Jonah.

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-I'm going to trip over it.

-Fuck off, sir.

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What I'm going to do is we are going to...

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We're going to brainstorm about ideas of careers in mechanics, OK?

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So, we won't look at the worksheets just for a sec.

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Anyone know of any career...? JONAH SHOUTS OVER HIM

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Excuse me, Jonah, I'm talking, all right?

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-Does anyone know of any careers in mechanics?

-Sir, Sir!

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My dad's a space mechanic. He works on space stations.

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-What are you lying for?

-Fuck off, it's true.

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-Righto, righto, that's enough.

-My dad does!

-Language, please.

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He's got two jobs!

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He's a removalist and a space mechanic. You don't even know.

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-That's enough.

-You don't even know! Ask him!

-Enough, thank you.

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-I'm not lying.

-Right, any ideas?

-I'm telling you the truth.

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Just yell them out. I'll whack them up here on the whiteboard.

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Sir, this sucks.

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Can we just play with the radio? This is boring.

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All right. OK. What I want you to do is have a look at these...

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-these sheets. And have a read of it quietly.

-I can't read.

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Sir, I'm not doing this.

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I'm going to be asking you questions on this in just a second.

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-Oh, fuck, sir.

-Listen, dickhead.

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If I hear another fucking swearword out of your mouth, I'm going to

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hit you so fucking hard, you won't be able to shit for a month, hear me?

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-Yes.

-Just fucking behave.

-I'm behaving. I'm always behaving.

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-OK, everybody, hands up those who have finished reading.

-Yup.

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-Yeah, good. We'll talk about...

-(Write fuck.

-You write fuck.)

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(Write fuck!)

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And then we'll discuss and come up with some nice ideas. Anyone?

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-OK.

-Sir.

-Yes?

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-Sir!

-Yep?

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I'm showing you my love to you.

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Just put that down, Jonah, get rid of it. Put it down. Get rid of it.

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-Sir, this is what you are today.

-Listen to me. Come here!

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-Oh, fuck, sir, don't rip my arm off.

-Fucking fuck.

-Don't pull my arm!

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Just stand there. Don't you fucking move. Shut the fuck up!

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Right, clearly, Jonah can't be trusted to join in.

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So he's going to miss out. All right?

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Now, anyone with ideas about careers in mechanics?

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Come on, let's hear them. Put your hands up. Yes, go on.

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THEY LAUGH

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-Fuck! Come here!

-Fuck off, sir. Don't push me. I'll fall over.

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-Get back to your chair.

-Nearly knocked the desk over.

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Oh, Sir!

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You did it, you did it! You pushed me! It's your fault, dickhead.

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Jonah, boys. Come over.

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What does gayfeast wants now?

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I just got an e-mail from Feel The Beat.

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They received our entry and they're reviewing it

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for possible inclusion in the area heats.

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-Is that it?

-So, we're not in it?

-Not yet.

-Why are you so excited, Krissy?

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-Calm down.

-I thought a teacher had died or some shit. Later.

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Tell us when you have some actual news, Krissy boy.

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Wait, I've got a good feeling about this. I'm praying for it, guys.

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# Don't be a bully... #

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Shut up, pussy boy. You're so gay.

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Sir, you're embarrassing us.

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Stop trying to have a relationship with us, sir. We're not homos.

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-Can I put this in your locker?

-Mine? Yeah.

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Two, five, seven...

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-Oh, sucked in! I know your code. Break into your locker.

-Jonah, Jonah!

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-Show us, get it out.

-Don't let anyone see.

-Is it the thing?

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-Oh, look at that.

-Don't touch the edge.

-This is legit.

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-This is going to kill someone.

-He told us it did.

-It's killed someone.

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THEY DISCUSS IT EXCITEDLY

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-Hide it, hide it.

-I've got to wrap it up.

-Put it away, boys.

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-Careful, put it in.

-That's mean, we should all get one.

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-Yeah, we should all get one.

-Jonah! You're coming with us.

-No, I'm not.

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Dad said you have to. And he's got Mum to drive us home.

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I'm not getting in the car with him.

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I'm not getting in the car, so chill out.

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Why you hanging out with my fat sister for? Are you desperate?

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Seriously, dude, have some respect for your sister.

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Have some respect for my dick.

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I'm not engaging in this Year 9 shit.

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Jonah, Dad said you have to. We've got church in the morning,

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and he doesn't want you fucking around on the street.

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-I've got plans.

-You have to! Dad said so!

-I'll be in touch later,

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-don't worry.

-What's in the bag there, buddies?

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-You're squeezing it pretty tight.

-Don't talk to my brother!

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-Stop trying to pick him up, he's not gay.

-It's a simple question, man.

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I'm just wondering why he's squeezing his bag like

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he needs to go to the toilet and the bag's his dick.

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Stop talking about my brother's dick! Fucking homo.

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They've been acting like weirdos since this morning. Let's just go.

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-See you, Gaylord.

-By the way, I'm telling Dad

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that you didn't listen to what I said, so enjoy your hiding tonight.

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Enjoy getting fucked, fatty.

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OK, boys.

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-You ready to do something brave?

-I am.

-Yeah.

-Are you ready to do this?

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-Yeah.

-Let's go, boys.

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ALL: Fobba-liscious!

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-It's going to be OK.

-It's all right, man.

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-We'll get out soon. OFFICER:

-OK.

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All jewellery off. Into the trays, piercings. All of it.

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What's going to happen?

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Well, I think our mum and dads going to pick us up, I reckon.

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-Your dad is going to get mad. Why do we even do it?

-We'll be OK, boys.

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We'll be OK. We'll go home soon and laugh about it, we'll laugh.

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I want to go home now.

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SOBBING

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You crying? Gee, don't cry, man. Don't cry.

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-We look like homos when you cry.

-You call me a fucking homo.

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-Don't cry, then.

-I can cry if I want to!

-You're too old to cry.

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Your dick is too old to cry.

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'The police called the school and I came straightaway.

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'They told me the boys would be detained overnight.'

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The boys decided it would be a good idea to hold up the bowling centre

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so they've gone over with a knife and, yeah, it looks pretty serious.

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'Apparently Moses went in and held the knife first and demanded

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'the staff hand over some kind of ornamental bowling ball.

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'And then Jonah went in

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'and made some threats with a knife, but, luckily,

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'security were able to control the situation fairly quickly.

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'But it's armed hold-up, so... you know, they were all in on it.'

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I feel really bad for them, really sorry for them.

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They must be absolutely terrified in there, you know.

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So, yeah, I'd hate to imagine how hard it must be right now.

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Boys, you need to shampoo.

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SHOUTING

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-Hey, look. Look. Like a grandpa.

-Shut up. Chuck us the shampoo.

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-I need more shampoo.

-I've given it to you.

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Hey, Miss, have you got hair straighteners in prison?

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These boys need to straighten their hair,

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otherwise it's going to look shit.

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No hair straighteners.

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Knock it off!

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LAUGHTER

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Can you stop looking at me?

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-I feel weird with you looking me.

-Guys, can you stop talking?

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You are in jail, this is not a joke.

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I'm just saying, I've got my dick out and you're looking at me.

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-Shut up.

-Well, tell her to stop looking at me, it's weird.

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-Moses, talk for once. What are you doing?

-He's probably jerking off, eh?

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Leave him alone, boys.

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Miss, you definitely have to get it now.

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Shut your mouths, do as you're told, this is your last warning,

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all right?

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CHATTER

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You've got the use of the facilities for the next

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couple of hours before bed.

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No running, no swearing, no harming others.

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This is gay, boys.

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Oh, shit.

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-Fellas. I know you. You know someone I know. You know Kylie?

-No.

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Yeah, I'm sure you know her, she said she knows you.

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I don't know her.

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-Where you from?

-Summer Heights.

-That's where Kylie is from.

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I know her too, she was in here having a visit with one of the boys.

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-You know her.

-No, I never heard of her.

-No, I'm pretty sure you know.

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-She said she knows you.

-Do you boys know her?

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I'm not talking to them, I'm talking to you. You know her, eh?

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Yeah, I know Kylie.

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LAUGHTER

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Wrong answer. Pussy. Fucking pussy. All you boys are pussies.

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I can tell.

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-Fobs are always pussies.

-Fuck them. They're all dumb fucks.

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You want to get cut, you racist dog?

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If you can't speak nicely to the new inmates, just shut your mouth.

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Jonah and Moses, come with me. You've got people to see.

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-I'll take this one.

-Take care.

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Hey, Jonah. How are you? Moses. Good to see you.

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Take a seat, please.

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-How are you, guys?

-Good.

-Good.

-It's all right?

-Yes.

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-We've got new tracksuits.

-Yeah, they look great.

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No, these are whorey as, sir. They're shit. Look at my shoes. Velcros.

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-Nice. That's OK.

-No, they're gay, sir.

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Also, I spoke to the legal aid lawyer

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and he reckons that we can have the parole hearing in about six weeks.

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But because of your previous convictions, Jonah,

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you might be in here for a while. Do you understand what I'm saying?

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Yes, sir.

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Moses, you've got a criminal record too,

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but because of your age and your learning difficulties,

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-the lawyers said we could try to get you out sooner. All right?

-Yes, sir.

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But, Jonah, you might be in here for a while.

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Auntie, don't cry. I don't even care about being in here, doesn't matter.

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Your dad is very, very angry.

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He said to throw the key away.

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Well, he's a homo.

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Come on, Jonah.

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Your auntie is upset, let's try to lay off those kind of comments.

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-He is one though.

-I'd shut up if I were you.

-Who asked you, fatty?

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-What are you doing here anyway?

-I was forced to come here, see your face.

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I'm here to support auntie.

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Anyway, your dad said he really wanted to be here,

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but because of work and it's a long drive, he decided not to come.

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-But he does care about what's going on.

-Whatever.

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Don't say whatever. Say sorry for bringing shame to the family.

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Say sorry for bringing shame to my dick.

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THEY SNIGGER

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Jonah, none of us are finding this funny, OK?

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It is funny, sir, get a sense of humour.

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OK, can you tell me what happened? Why did you want the bowling ball?

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Because it's worth heaps.

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If you melt it down, it's worth 10,000, and I was going to use

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the money to take Moses to Los Angeles for his record deal.

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If it's worth that much, why is it in a bowling alley?

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-Shut up, you don't even know.

-It should be in a museum or something.

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-You don't know.

-Hey, you, please be nice to each other.

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Tell fatty to shut up, then.

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You don't even know anything, you don't even go bowling.

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-OK, so who gave you the knife?

-George.

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-George.

-You know those guys are trouble, right?

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You don't even know anything, sir.

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You don't know anything about being brave, cos you're too gay.

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-Those guys have done time, you realise that, right?

-So?

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They drive around in probably stolen cars looking to

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recruit good boys like you.

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You want to try and stay away from them, trust me.

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You don't want to get involved.

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Sir, if they weren't brave then why do they have their tattoos?

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They've got full tattoos on their arm, and when I'm older and I get

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my full tattoo, then I'm going to be as tough and brave as them.

0:17:050:17:09

-You are so embarrassing.

-Time is up, break it up, please.

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-OK, we can talk more about that later.

-Now, please.

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-Sure. But I do have some good news.

-What?

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I had a call from Feel The Beat,

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and you guys have been selected to perform in the area heats.

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-Yeah!

-Six weeks.

-Perform in front of a real audience! Yes, sir!

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We've got to get you guys out.

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Me and the boys can practise in here, in jail.

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The thing is, they haven't got as many convictions as you,

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-so they are being released tonight.

-So they're going, I'm staying.

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-It will just be you and Moses.

-Boys, guess what?

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I have I have to stay for six weeks but we got into Feel The Beat!

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We're going to perform in front of an audience!

0:17:490:17:51

Practise, make sure you practise! I have to say goodbye to them.

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Look at these fuckers.

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-Is that a Tonga?

-Yes, you want another look?

-Fuck you.

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Look at your fucking tattoo. Keep walking, you dumb fuck.

0:18:160:18:20

Jonah Takalua, 202. Moses Takalua, 203.

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Lucky we had two next to each other.

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-Lights out in five, no talking after lights out.

-Ms Cooper?

0:18:300:18:37

I do not need any crap from you tonight, I can assure you.

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-I'm hungry.

-Hey, Moses, come here.

0:18:400:18:44

It didn't look like shit, now I'm hungry.

0:18:460:18:49

-I can't force you to eat it, that's your problem.

-I want it.

0:18:490:18:51

Well, enjoy that thought because you're not getting it.

0:18:510:18:54

We save space anyway.

0:18:560:18:58

-Right, lights out.

-You said five minutes!

0:19:000:19:03

I'm in charge.

0:19:030:19:05

When I say go, and I said I wanted no cheek from you. Lights out.

0:19:050:19:10

That's not cheek, I'm just standing up for my prison rights, Miss.

0:19:100:19:13

BOTH: # When you call me that name

0:19:130:19:17

# I'm a person just like you

0:19:170:19:20

# I feel sad, I feel pain When you call me that name

0:19:200:19:27

# I'm a person just like you

0:19:270:19:32

# Don't be a bully

0:19:320:19:34

# Hey, police, we say no. #

0:19:340:19:37

Hey, what's going on in here? We're not sharing cells. Out.

0:19:370:19:41

Miss, we do this at home. Save space.

0:19:410:19:44

It means you get a free cell next door.

0:19:440:19:46

It doesn't work that way, come on. Move.

0:19:460:19:49

-Moses Takalua. Yes, he's being released.

-Well, you are a lucky man.

0:19:510:19:55

-I don't want to go.

-Now, come on, guys.

-He's not going.

0:19:550:19:59

-Will you let go of him?

-He's not going anywhere!

0:19:590:20:02

ALL SHOUT

0:20:020:20:05

Do the link!

0:20:050:20:06

-Hold on! They won't be able to break it.

-Stop being so silly.

0:20:060:20:09

Don't fucking touch him!

0:20:090:20:12

SHOUTING

0:20:140:20:17

Miss! Miss! I want him to stay here!

0:20:220:20:25

Miss!

0:20:250:20:26

Miss! I want him to stay with me!

0:20:260:20:29

MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:320:20:33

Is there anything you want to talk about?

0:21:090:21:11

Not with you, you fat bitch.

0:21:110:21:13

I will be a bitch if you speak to me like that.

0:21:130:21:16

Shut up, Grandma.

0:21:160:21:18

Look, behave yourself and we'll get along fine, all right?

0:21:190:21:21

Get along with my dick.

0:21:210:21:23

Shut up, fob, go to sleep!

0:21:230:21:25

Fuck up!

0:21:250:21:26

Someone's getting a flogging tomorrow!

0:21:260:21:29

Yeah - you, by me!

0:21:290:21:30

Quiet.

0:21:300:21:31

-Don't go there.

-You don't go there.

0:21:330:21:35

I was listening to you and your brother singing before.

0:21:400:21:42

You've got really good voices.

0:21:420:21:44

Shouldn't have been listening to us, Miss.

0:21:440:21:46

-Well...

-It's private singing.

0:21:460:21:48

I'm very sorry, but I happened to overhear it.

0:21:480:21:52

You sing in church?

0:21:520:21:53

My brother's good. I'm not that good.

0:21:530:21:56

-I think you're pretty good too.

-Nah. My brother's the best.

0:21:560:22:00

I'm going to go to America to get a record deal for him.

0:22:000:22:04

He's going to make lots of money.

0:22:040:22:06

I'm different. I'm better at rugby, and dancing,

0:22:060:22:10

and...telling jokes.

0:22:100:22:12

What's your name, Miss?

0:22:140:22:15

Officer Cooper.

0:22:170:22:18

No, your first name.

0:22:180:22:19

Therese.

0:22:190:22:21

Therese, good name.

0:22:210:22:23

My mum's name is Theresa.

0:22:240:22:26

-That's your name with a "a".

-Mmm.

0:22:280:22:30

She died, though.

0:22:300:22:31

I'm sorry to hear that.

0:22:310:22:33

Nah, it was ages ago. I was six. So it doesn't matter.

0:22:330:22:37

-Do you like your job?

-Yes, I do.

0:22:400:22:42

Do you want me to tell you a joke?

0:22:440:22:46

I'm not normally one for comedy, so it better be good.

0:22:470:22:51

Miss, my jokes are good.

0:22:510:22:53

I just make them up.

0:22:530:22:55

Why did the boy... Why did the boy eat the poo?

0:22:550:22:59

Cos he thought it was a chocolate bar.

0:22:590:23:00

-Miss...

-That's not even funny!

0:23:030:23:05

-It is, Miss!

-It's the middle of the night! Go to bed!

0:23:050:23:07

-All right, be quiet.

-Shut the fuck up, Abu!

-Hey!

0:23:070:23:10

We'd better be quiet, all right?

0:23:100:23:12

Miss, one more joke?

0:23:120:23:14

What did the prison cell say to the door?

0:23:140:23:17

"Marry my dick."

0:23:180:23:20

Don't give up your day job, mate.

0:23:210:23:23

Look, I'll show you round tomorrow, OK,

0:23:240:23:27

-and we'll get you all settled in.

-Don't even bother, Miss!

0:23:270:23:30

I'm only staying here one night. I'm probably going home tomorrow.

0:23:300:23:33

That's what they all say, Jonah.

0:23:330:23:35

-Night-night.

-Good night.

0:23:350:23:37

Sorry for calling you a fat bitch!

0:23:370:23:40

And a ranga.

0:23:400:23:42

Juvie!

0:23:500:23:52

Yeah, I love juvie. It's mean as.

0:23:520:23:54

Look, all you chaborigines, chiss off!

0:23:540:23:56

Yeah, Jonah's settled in extremely well.

0:23:560:23:59

A little bit too well, actually.

0:23:590:24:00

Miss, could you shampoo my balls for me?

0:24:000:24:02

I wouldn't exactly say that I've missed him, no.

0:24:020:24:04

I've certainly noticed he's not there.

0:24:040:24:06

-Jonah wants to ask a question.

-Boys, dads are here.

0:24:060:24:09

Jonah is loving having his dad Rocky here.

0:24:090:24:11

-"Happy Father's Day."

-Happy Dickhead Day.

0:24:110:24:13

-I've got a surprise for you.

-What the fuck am I doing here?

0:24:130:24:16

-What the fuck, sir?

-Thought I'd come and see

0:24:160:24:18

if you'd learnt your fucking lesson, eh?

0:24:180:24:20

-Hey, what's that for?

-Feel The Beat next week with my boys.

0:24:200:24:23

You ain't getting out.

0:24:230:24:25

SHOUTING

0:24:270:24:30

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