Episode 3 Live at the Apollo


Episode 3

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Transcript


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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host for tonight, Sean Lock!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you!

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Thank you, thank you very much!

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Hello! Whoo!

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Thank you, thank you. Lovely to be here in Hammersmith.

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I just have one thing, one request, if at any point in the show

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you're erring on the side of laughter, go with it, yeah?

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You know, if you get to a bit and you go,

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"Is that funny? "Er, erm, er..."

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Just go, wahey! Chuck yourself in!

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Cos the consequences for you of a joke not working

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aren't that serious. There'll be other jokes, other shows.

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But the consequences for me are pretty serious, yes.

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Because if you don't laugh at my jokes, in about a year's time

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you'll switch on your telly on a Saturday night and you'll hear

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Bruce Forsyth say "And our next couple, dancing the pasodoble..."

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APPLAUSE

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"..it's Sean and Tatiana!"

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Dun, de, den, den deh! Dum, de, deh, deh, deh!

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I'll have a black nylon shirt, split to my waist.

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Fruit all down me.

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And at some point they'll make you do the shimmy, won't they?

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Everybody goes on Strictly and at some point has to do the shimmy.

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It's like tossing the salad in jail that's what it is, the shimmy.

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At some point you have to go...

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That's like just driving your face into the dirt, isn't it?

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And then the bit after that you're in a tense dance-off

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with the OXO mum. Ooh!

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And if that's not enough, afterwards you get bollocked, don't you?

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By Bruno Tonioli.

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"Sean! You're like-a fridge, your arms didn't move!

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"You stand there like a fridge, you all grinder, no pepper!"

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And you can't tell him to piss off, can you?

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"Look, I made a complete twat out of myself out there,

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"and now you want to rub my nose in it.

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"What have you ever done in your life? You prick."

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I think it would make a better show, make a better show.

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Cos we've got a few Strictly guests in, Joe Calzaghe's here. Hello, Joe.

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Joe Calzaghe, undefeated World Champion.

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I took up boxing for a while,

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cos I heard it was a way out of the ghetto.

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Thing is I'm not from the ghetto.

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So for me it was a way into hospital.

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Jon Culshaw there, hello Jon.

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Amazing impressionist.

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-You can do 350 voices, is that true?

-Something like that.

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And do you hear the voices in your head?

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I do, I do!

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Cos I hear voices in my head. I ignore them and carry on killing.

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But I do impressions, I do one impression.

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Here's my impression, right?

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It's Billy Mitchell from EastEnders.

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CHEERING

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I can't do the voice.

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That's it, just that. And then...hang on.

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Oh, it's me again!

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Thank you, welcome, welcome.

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Erm...I love my wife.

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I love my kids, I am a very lucky man, very lucky man.

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But there are things I miss about the old days, before all that.

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I think the thing I miss the most of all about living on my own

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is the songs you sing when you live on your own. You know the songs

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you sing when you live on your own? Just walking round your house,

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start singing, don't you?

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# I'm going to put the kettle on and make a cup of tea now!

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# Owww, ow, ow-ow-ow ow!

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# I might have a biscuit or a crisp sandwich! #

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You can't do that when you live with other people, can you?

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Cos they don't want to see that.

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No. They want to think you've got your shit together.

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You've got to hide that.

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I say I love my wife, sometimes I'm not sure.

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Well, no, the symptoms of being in love are shortness of breath,

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light headedness, inability to concentrate - are exactly the same

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symptoms as carbon monoxide poisoning, aren't they?

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So I said "I think I love you, but can we get the boiler serviced?"

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Hahaha! No, I do, I love her very much.

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But she upset me this last Christmas because as she was giving me

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my Christmas present, just before I opened it she said "Oh, by the way,

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"you do know it's very hard to buy presents for a man of your age?"

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I found that quite hurtful, I did, to be honest with you.

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And if there are any men of my age in the room tonight, bit of advice

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for you, be very careful what you show enthusiasm for

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in the weeks before Christmas.

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Because you show the slightest enthusiasm or interest

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in anything... you're getting it for Christmas.

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She'll be going up to bed. You say,

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"I'll be up in a minute, I'm just going to watch the news."

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"Oh!"

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"He likes the news!"

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And you'll get a biography of Huw Edwards.

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"What a guy."

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Never had an X-ray, apparently. Didn't know that.

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One time we were out walking in the countryside,

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there was a bird hovering in the sky. She said "That's a buzzard."

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I said "No, that's a kestrel."

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She said, "I didn't know you knew about that."

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I said "Yeah, a little bit, little bit. Not a lot."

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Cut to six months later, I'm standing in a field...

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I've got a big leather glove on like that.

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Cube of meat on a string.

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"Yeah, I'm having a great day, love.

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"It's like you read my mind!"

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"Argh! Get it off me! Get it off me!

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"Argh!"

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I didn't do that. Don't want to upset the greenies.

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From about October to December,

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I don't say anything positive about anything.

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We got a ferry once from Holland. Ferries are normally a sort of dull,

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dismal, awful experience. This was a really nice ferry, lovely ferry.

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And I was about to go, "Cor, this is a nice ferry, isn't it?"

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Then I went, "Uh, oh. No."

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Cos there is a chance on Christmas morning I'd have opened an envelope

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and pulled out... "A golden ferry ticket!

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"A magical day out on the ferry!

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"Help the captain steer the ferry out of port."

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"Wave the cars onto the deck."

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"Sing a song with the group Liquid Motion."

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The other day I intercepted her ordering me some bees.

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She was ordering bees on the phone. I went,

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"Whoa, whoa, we don't want any bees! Why are you ordering bees?"

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She said, "You were going on about the plight of the honey bee,

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"and how people don't plant flowers any more, their gardens are decked,

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"and the honey bee's dying out, and the whole of society will collapse

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"so I thought I'd get you some bees."

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And I said "No, what you've mistaken there is, I like moaning."

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I couldn't give a shit about bees.

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I can't tell the difference between a bee and a wasp,

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I just kill anything I see.

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Basically, she wants me to have a hobby,

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because I don't get a lot of spare time but if I do, what I like to do

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is stand in various rooms in my house,

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staring into the middle distance like that.

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And she finds that troubling.

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I'm never happier than when I'm sitting on bed, in my pants,

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one sock on, another sock in my hand.

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Oh, I could do 20 minutes there like that.

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Cos I'm not doing nothing, I'm putting socks on. But very slowly.

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And the thing is, I do have a hobby,

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but it's not considered to be a hobby, and my hobby is drinking.

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I like drinking.

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CHEERING

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I'll tell you why.

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I don't do it all the time, but when I go out I like to have a drink.

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If you could see my little face, how excited my little face is

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when I'm going off to the pub, you'd go "Aw, look at him,

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"isn't he cute, eh?"

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And when I drink, I like to go out and have a proper drink,

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I like to get hammered. I like to be four units the right side

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of shitting myself, that's what I like to do.

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Drawing on my face, combing my hair with a shoe, that kind of thing.

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I worked out my relationship with alcohol is very similar to

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the relationship that a moth has with a light bulb.

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You know when you see a moth having a session on the light bulb.

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They're just going - bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

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"This is brilliant!"

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"Who switched this on?"

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"I bloody love you!"

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If you could interview a moth after a night on the light bulb,

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it would be very similar to me with a hangover.

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"What happened there, moth?"

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"I know, I know, I've done it again, haven't I?"

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"How do you feel now?" "I feel bloody awful!"

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"Covered in burns!"

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"They're bloody hot those light bulbs! Everyone saw me!"

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"Cos I was the worst, wasn't I? I was the worst.

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"Eight hours I was up there, wasn't I?

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"Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!"

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But some of them only do an hour then piss off behind the fridge.

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"Do you think you've got a problem?"

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"No, not at all, if you don't switch the light bulb on, I'm fine.

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"I could do about three weeks on a wall."

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Bum ba bum!

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Bubububuub...

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But you switch the light bulb on... "Yes! Daddy's home!"

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I'm not advocating alcoholism by the way,

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I'm just sticking up for a group in society that gets badly treated,

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gets really bad press, is abused and maligned continually

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and that's binge drinkers.

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Nobody ever says anything nice about binge drinkers, do they?

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They just say, "Binge drinkers, Look what they've done,

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"look what they've done to the town centre."

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We didn't ruin the town centre.

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Tesco's and the internet did that, we're just finishing the job.

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It's like farting in a cheese shop - it's not the main problem.

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Kicking a dead bird.

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"What you doing?" "It's dead, chill out!"

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Put a bit of chewing gum in a mullet.

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And it's terrible the discrimination you suffer as a binge drinker.

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I've been for job interviews and I know the only reason

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I didn't get that job, is cos I was hammered.

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They couldn't see beyond that, they couldn't see the person behind

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the man trying to get a sing-song going.

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# I get knocked down

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# But I get up again yeah yeah. #

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"Where do you see yourself in five years' time, Mr Lock?"

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"Pub! Ha-ha!"

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And the press are very complicit in this, they really like

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to make binge drinkers feel bad. I remember there was a picture once

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in the Sun of this girl on a night out in Newcastle.

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And for a laugh she pulled... She kept her clothes on but for a laugh

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she pulled her knickers down to her ankles

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and she was standing in the centre of Newcastle going "Wahey!"

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Big smile on her face, like that "Wahey!"

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And the headline above was something like, "Oh, God.

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"Oh, dear, oh, dear."

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And I remember looking at the picture thinking,

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"What is wrong with that?"

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She's obviously having a brilliant time.

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You've got to be in a fantastic mood to be

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in the heart of the town where you live, where you go shopping, you go

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to work, you meet friends, to be in the very epicentre of where all your

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friends are, where your life is to go "Ha-ha, yeah!

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"Ha-ha-ha!"

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That's a great moment in your life!

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I'd put that on my CV!

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"There we go, happiest I've ever been.

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"That's also the answer to hobbies and interests."

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I've never met anyone who's depressed who's done that.

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I've never chatted to anyone whose depressed, say, "How you feeling?"

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"Terrible, every decision I make is a disaster. I just can't see a way

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"of muddling through this miserable period in my life.

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"The other day I went down to the canal. I was...

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"I was just staring at the dark black water

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"trying to find a reason to carry on with this miserable existence

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"we laughingly call life."

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You don't get punch lines like that every day, do you?

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I don't get a lot of stuff nicked.

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Are you ready for the first act, ladies and gentlemen?

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Then put your hands together and go mad for a wonderful young comedian,

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Romesh Ranganathan!

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Hello. Very excited to be here.

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I realised that some of you will have seen me come out with a microphone,

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may have become concerned.

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"Oh, God, Asian comedian."

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"He's going to be banging on about being Asian the whole time."

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Please, don't worry, only about 10% of my stuff is based on

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me being Asian, all right?

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The other 90% is based on my issues with white people.

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So, it should be absolutely fine. Looking around I can't help feeling

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there's been a bit of a booking error.

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I'll just say what I've got to say and get the hell out of here.

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I am actually married, I don't want to upset anyone in here.

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But I am married, my wife and I have two small children -

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we're not kidnappers.

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We created these children by the traditional means...

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..adoption.

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No, I'm joking, I'm joking I did it, did it. Smashed it.

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My wife is white, I'm genuinely Asian, I haven't just browned-up

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for tonight's show, and so our children are mixed race.

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And a game that we've started playing,

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we've started getting our kids

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to pick a side.

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So whenever we're watching the Jeremy Kyle show,

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just point at the screen and go "That's white people for you, kids."

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"I have got no idea, mate."

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And whenever we go to an Indian restaurant my wife will go,

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"Smells like Daddy".

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That's a little game we play.

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She won that one.

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I'm going to be honest with you, I've overreacted to racism in the past

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I'm not going to lie. I was getting my hair cut. It was an extremely

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hot day, I was complaining about how hot it was. This guy sitting in the

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barbers he turns to me, he says "Oh, I can't believe you lot, ha-ha."

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"I can't believe you lot, you come over here, don't you, eh?

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"Heh, heh, ha-ha, yeah, you do.

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"You come over here then you complain about how bloody hot it is,

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"don't you, son? Heh, hah!"

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I thought, "Oh, my God, I'm going to put this idiot in his place,

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"assuming that I'm an immigrant."

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So I said to him,

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"Well, actually, sir, the climactic conditions in Crawley,

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"where I originate from,

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"are very similar to the ones we're experiencing here.

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"Just goes to show you."

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To which his genuine response was,

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"Bloody hell, mate, you're picking up the language brilliantly, ain't you?"

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I'm going to be honest with you,

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I recently came to the realisation that sometimes

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a lack of racism can actually more hurtful than racism itself.

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Now, hear me out on this.

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I think you will agree with me.

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I recently got into a bit of car prang. Completely my fault.

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Damaged this guy's car quite badly, he lost his shit,

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as he had every right to, right, gets out of the car he looks at me

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and he says,

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"What the hell do you think you're doing, you fat bastard?"

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And I thought, "Oh, my God,

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"I have put on so much weight!"

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That's the first thing he went for!

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I would rather he'd said something racist, right,

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because it's offensive, but at least it means I'm in shape!

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I was sitting at home watching television with my wife

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the other day, and for those of you that have children, you will know

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to even get to a point where you're able to watch what you want to

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on television is a bloody miracle, right?

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You've gotta do what these little shits want to do first, right?

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And on this particular day they wanted to watch Disney DVDs.

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I just about managed to convince them to not watch Finding Nemo.

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Now, I know that sounds mad cos finding Nemo's a great film.

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I assume people are fans of it in here?

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CHEERING

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It's a lovely movie.

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This fish goes along and saves his son. It's wonderful, heart-warming.

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But unfortunately when you have children, that film is ruined.

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Cos I'm watching finding Nemo now and I'm thinking to myself,

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"I mean, he told Nemo.

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"Repeatedly.

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"To stop pissing around, right?"

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Cos Nemo wouldn't listen, he's got to go dicking across the other side

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of the world to go and get him.

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And at the end of the film, Nemo's dad is supposed to learn a lesson

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about chilling out. Piss off!

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If I was directing that film, Nemo would have got kidnapped

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and his dad would have gone, "I told you, you little prick!

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"Enjoy the fish tank, dickhead!"

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And the then sequel would have been called Grounding Nemo.

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I mean, the fact of the matter is I don't actually like

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going out with my children and it's not because of my children.

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I love my children, I think.

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The problem is, you have to deal with other people's children and you

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have to deal with their parents and you can't tell off other people's

0:19:230:19:26

kids cos people get annoyed. Except I've found a way.

0:19:260:19:30

I was at the cinema a while ago, I'm going to share this with you.

0:19:300:19:33

This kid was throwing popcorn about, shouting, just being a little idiot.

0:19:330:19:38

His parents were doing absolutely nothing about it.

0:19:380:19:41

So I thought I would step up, on behalf of the cinema.

0:19:410:19:45

So I got in real close and said, "Listen here, you little shit..."

0:19:470:19:50

"Pull that again, I'm going to punch you in your face, understand me?"

0:19:520:19:55

And then as his parents approached and were able to hear me,

0:19:580:20:02

I just went,

0:20:020:20:03

"And that's why you shouldn't say that to brown people."

0:20:030:20:06

They apologised to me!

0:20:150:20:17

Try it. You'll have to brown up, but it's worth it!

0:20:180:20:21

Ladies and gentlemen, you genuinely have been adequate.

0:20:230:20:26

So, thank you so much, I've been Romesh Ranganathan, goodnight!

0:20:260:20:30

Romesh Ranganathan!

0:20:350:20:37

So, you up for the next act?

0:20:390:20:41

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:410:20:43

Please put your hands together, go mad for a fantastic comedian,

0:20:430:20:46

Marcus Brigstocke!

0:20:460:20:48

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen,

0:21:020:21:03

give it up for Mr Sean Lock!

0:21:030:21:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:050:21:08

I turned 40 this year. Which means my body is...

0:21:110:21:14

-WOMAN:

-Whoo!

-No, don't woo that!

0:21:140:21:16

Don't whoo that. My body is no longer on my side.

0:21:160:21:19

I've started having a new experience, which I'm calling "after wees."

0:21:190:21:23

It's when you've had a wee, you've finished your wee,

0:21:260:21:29

you check with your bladder, "Is this wee fully finished?"

0:21:290:21:33

Your bladder goes "Oh, yes, definitely finished."

0:21:330:21:36

And then you leave.

0:21:360:21:38

And then your bladder decides to do his impression of Columbo.

0:21:380:21:42

"Ah, one more thing!

0:21:440:21:46

"Just one more thing".

0:21:460:21:48

So I don't trust my body any more. I went on safari, went to South Africa.

0:21:520:21:55

Anyone here been to South Africa?

0:21:550:21:56

MILD CHEERING

0:21:560:21:58

I stopped a safari with my bum.

0:21:580:22:01

When you're in South Africa, I don't know if you've tried Biltong.

0:22:010:22:04

It's delicious, its dried bush meat. Dried meat, right?

0:22:040:22:07

Kudu, antelope, stuff like that. They were giving it out where I stayed.

0:22:070:22:10

I ate loads of the stuff, it was delicious, nom, nom, nom, nom, mmm.

0:22:100:22:13

It's all dried meat, like that.

0:22:130:22:14

What I didn't realise is that when you then have a drink,

0:22:140:22:17

it takes on its original size and shape, inside you.

0:22:170:22:21

I rehydrated an antelope in my lower intestines.

0:22:210:22:24

And then got the biltong farts. Badly.

0:22:260:22:28

So we went on a safari. Five o'clock in the morning. You get up early

0:22:280:22:31

before the animals are fully awake, they're still doing their teeth

0:22:310:22:34

and folding their little elephant jammies.

0:22:340:22:37

We were in an open top jeep

0:22:370:22:38

with a guide driver in front, a young couple on honeymoon

0:22:380:22:41

and a young family in the back.

0:22:410:22:43

And I have a belly full of swollen biltong

0:22:430:22:46

and I got the biltong farts badly.

0:22:460:22:48

Right, so we went over a bump

0:22:480:22:49

and a big biltong-based blow off fell out of me.

0:22:490:22:52

And the driver of our open top vehicle brought it to a complete halt

0:22:520:22:56

and went, "Can everybody smell that?

0:22:560:22:59

"That's lion."

0:22:590:23:01

"You can tell because it's very meaty.

0:23:030:23:06

"It's quite fresh as well. They've been through here recently, yeah?"

0:23:060:23:09

And the thing is, everyone in the jeep got up and went,

0:23:090:23:12

"Oh, yes, yes, you can really smell it!

0:23:120:23:15

"It's lion. Children, come on, come on."

0:23:150:23:17

"Daddy is it really lion?" "I think it could be, yes."

0:23:170:23:21

Cos the more I laughed the more I farted, right?

0:23:210:23:24

The driver is sneaking the vehicle forward going,

0:23:240:23:27

"I can't see them, but they're definitely very close, yeah?"

0:23:270:23:30

"Please, everyone be careful, I think one of them may be injured."

0:23:320:23:35

I was like, "Ohhh!"

0:23:350:23:38

We were there 40 minutes. People trying to take photos of my farts.

0:23:380:23:41

So I'm going to go to Greece, fart in one of their banks,

0:23:440:23:46

see if I can help them out.

0:23:460:23:49

They're in a bad way. Any Greek people in?

0:23:490:23:51

MODERATE CHEERING

0:23:510:23:53

Yeah? Pay your taxes. It would be a start, wouldn't it?

0:23:530:23:57

It's not difficult.

0:23:570:23:58

They're in a bad way and it's not all their fault. I feel bad for Greece.

0:24:030:24:06

Yeah, it's so bad over there they're selling off their islands.

0:24:060:24:10

I think we should buy them, put them in the British Museum.

0:24:100:24:12

I'm a completist, what can I say?

0:24:120:24:14

No, it is, it's a bad, bad situation in Greece. It's not entirely

0:24:150:24:18

their fault. Greece was never supposed to be in the euro.

0:24:180:24:21

That's right, we're drifting from my farts straight into

0:24:210:24:23

a light economics lecture. Hold on, people.

0:24:230:24:26

So Greece was never supposed to be in the euro.

0:24:270:24:30

They had too much sovereign debt, you know this, yeah?

0:24:300:24:32

They had too much sovereign debt, they couldn't get in.

0:24:320:24:35

Goldman Sachs, the investment bank, hid their sovereign debt

0:24:350:24:38

and snuck Greece into the euro.

0:24:380:24:40

And you can understand why Greece wanted to get in. They were like

0:24:400:24:43

a kid outside a nightclub, you know,

0:24:430:24:45

too young, had the wrong shoes on, but they could hear it,

0:24:450:24:47

they were excited they could hear...

0:24:470:24:49

HE IMITATES A DANCE BEAT

0:24:490:24:52

And the Greeks are excited, they wanted to get in. And I should warn

0:24:520:24:54

you, for the Greek people, I'm not very good at the Greek accent

0:24:540:24:57

but I'll give it a go, OK? So the Greeks are outside, they can hear...

0:24:570:25:00

HE IMITATES A DANCE BEAT

0:25:000:25:02

And they went, "Ay!

0:25:020:25:03

"I want to get into the nightclub!"

0:25:060:25:09

That's not good, that, is it? But they couldn't get in.

0:25:090:25:12

Weren't allowed. They had too much sovereign debt. And France were

0:25:120:25:15

on the door being the bouncer. France said, "No, you cannot come in here,

0:25:150:25:18

"look at you, shitty Greece, you are too young, you have too much

0:25:180:25:22

"sovereign debt, you are wearing the wrong shoes, go on get out of here.

0:25:220:25:25

"Look, you have curly slippers on, get out of here!"

0:25:250:25:27

And Goldman Sachs hid their sovereign debt, gave them fake ID,

0:25:290:25:33

changed their shoes, and snuck Greece in through the back door of the club.

0:25:330:25:36

The Greeks are in now and they're excited.

0:25:360:25:38

They're inside the club going "Ooh, ooh!"

0:25:380:25:40

You know how Greeks are... not like that.

0:25:400:25:43

"We're inside the euro club now, wooop wooop!" Nah.

0:25:430:25:47

It's exciting for Greece. Brilliant, they're on the inside

0:25:470:25:49

and that's when they realise the club has a German DJ.

0:25:490:25:52

That's when shit started to get scary for Greece

0:25:540:25:56

when they heard "Ja, daz iz da EuroHaus!"

0:25:560:25:58

HE IMITATES A FURIOUS DANCE BEAT

0:25:580:26:02

"Turn it up a little more!"

0:26:060:26:07

"Dance faster, little Greece!"

0:26:100:26:13

By this point Greece were desperately trying to keep up, going,

0:26:130:26:16

"Ah! Please will you slow the music down?

0:26:160:26:19

"Don't you have any Nana Mouskouri or Demis Roussos?"

0:26:190:26:23

"No! Das iz de EuroHaus!

0:26:230:26:25

HE IMITATES A FURIOUS DANCE BEAT

0:26:250:26:27

"Dance faster, little shit!"

0:26:270:26:30

By this stage the Greeks were slumped in the corner going,

0:26:300:26:33

"Please, I should never have been in here!

0:26:330:26:36

"I have too much sovereign debt and look - curly slippers!"

0:26:360:26:40

They can't get out cos the Germans have locked the door.

0:26:420:26:46

And the Germans dictate how fast the music goes

0:26:460:26:49

and because they're German that's very fast indeed.

0:26:490:26:52

Germans have two speeds for their music - oompa and techno.

0:26:520:26:55

The Greeks fully went in the wrong door, they could have been so happy

0:26:570:27:00

right now one club further up going,

0:27:000:27:02

# Poompa-poompa-poompa-poompa... #

0:27:020:27:04

So everything...

0:27:060:27:08

Love that oompa.

0:27:090:27:11

Everything the Greeks are living on is handouts from the Germans.

0:27:110:27:14

That's hard. Greece is an old culture, they have their pride.

0:27:140:27:18

It's difficult. The Germans give them all their money and they can

0:27:180:27:20

tell them the things they want them to do so they can treat Greece

0:27:200:27:23

however they want. Usually it's like a naughty teenager, like,

0:27:230:27:26

"Ja, OK, Greece.

0:27:260:27:29

"You can have your pocket money. But first you must tidy your room."

0:27:290:27:36

The Greeks are like, "Hey! We invented philosophy!"

0:27:360:27:39

"Ja, und we invented the Volkswagen und the Mercedes Benz.

0:27:390:27:43

"And people buy shitloads of those, so tidy your room

0:27:430:27:46

"or it's back into the techno club, you little shit!"

0:27:460:27:48

"Arghhh!"

0:27:480:27:50

The Germans have got it this time, they are on it. They're like,

0:27:500:27:53

"Ja, the last two times we tried it was a little bit awkward

0:27:530:27:55

"with all of the killing of the people.

0:27:550:27:57

"No, this time it is much better,

0:28:020:28:05

"this time we just buy it!

0:28:050:28:07

"Ja, we work a little longer und we spend a little less

0:28:090:28:12

"und we just buy it because last time people were quite cross with us!

0:28:120:28:16

"They said, 'You must not be killing all of these people.'

0:28:160:28:18

"We were like, 'Ja, we are knowing this now.'

0:28:180:28:22

"This time is better. Look, we have receipt."

0:28:220:28:25

Ladies and gentlemen, you've been an absolute delight, thank you so much.

0:28:250:28:28

See you again. Thank you, goodbye!

0:28:280:28:30

Marcus Brigstocke!

0:28:360:28:38

Please put your hands together for the acts you saw tonight -

0:28:410:28:44

Romesh Ranganathan, Marcus Brigstocke.

0:28:440:28:47

I have been Sean lock, thank you very much!

0:28:470:28:49

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0:28:510:28:54

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