Episode 6 Live at the Electric



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Transcript


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This show contains adult humour and some strong language.

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-Somebody's broken my longboard.

-How are you going to get home?

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It's cool, I'll use my skates,

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but they're a nightmare on the Tube. Who would do this?

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Hang on - there's a note.

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"Let's see you fix this, techie dorks. Stagehands are dicks.

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"Lighting Crew rule."

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Sons of bitches! I bet they stole my Big Bang Theory DVDs.

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-Maybe.

-Definitely. I told you it was funny. Either way...

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I'm going to get them back for what they did to your skateboard.

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-Longboard.

-Whatever.

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I'm not just going to roll over and let these guys bum us.

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Wait, they...want to bum us?

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It's a gangster expression, you know,

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-"That guy just fucked me in the ass!"

-Oh, right, yeah.

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They got a crew. We need a crew.

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What are you saying?

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I'm saying we need to set our differences aside and gang together.

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What are you saying?

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I'm saying...

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we need to form our own gang.

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Wait...

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-What are you saying?

-I literally can't put it any other way, Tom.

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-Do you want to start a gang with me?

-I'll have to consult

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my rollerblading crew, but I don't see that as a conflict of interest.

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We'll need more than two members.

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Ishmael, want to join a gang?

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-Do we get to wear bandanas?

-I don't know.

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Do we, Tom?

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Fine by me.

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CHEERING

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Sisters, brothers, sons and daughters,

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blessed be the Director General

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for the beginning of another Live At The Electric!

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CHEERING

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Tonight's show is going to storm it like the Bastille! Similes.

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Be careful even watching it, you might laugh so hard

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that your Tena Lady flies off and sticks to the coving.

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I, er... Look, I am doing good

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and I'm very lucky to have this job, and it's wonderful,

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but my body sometimes doesn't know how lucky I am.

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It's the problem when you've got a job that's brilliant

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and you feel blessed. Your body doesn't go,

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"It's OK that you're overworked, it's an exciting job."

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Your body goes, "Help me!" So what I did was, I went to a spa.

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It's a posh spa, I won't say where it is,

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and I was there with a new girlfriend

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that I'm seeing at the moment... Because I am straight

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and I've got a girlfriend, so take that, Google!

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Anyway, me and Brian, we were chilling out in our room...

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And, uh, I was at dinner

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and I was sat next to Nicole Scherzinger

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and Lewis Hamilton. I could not believe it.

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I was totally starstruck, right?

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I might not be into sport and all that,

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but I admire what the dude does and she is a frickin' goddess!

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And I'm at dinner and I'm listening to her going,

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"Oh, baby, that lamb chop's so good. Mmm, tuck into that lamb!

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"That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, baby! Oh, yeah!

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"My potato chips are so good, mmm! Don't ignore that, baby boy!" Right?

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At least, that's what I heard, in my demented teenage mind.

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I just felt so inadequate next to her and, like,

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I know she gets a bit of stick.

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I'm a bit of an admirer of Tulisa as well,

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I think she's got a good spirit... I do. I am.

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And I suddenly thought... how difficult it must be

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to stand next to someone like Nicole Scherzinger all the time,

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and they did that X Factor together.

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What must that feel like? That would be like me

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stood next to some David Gandy figure or something like that.

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When the screen goes up and Nicole Scherzinger walks out like this,

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"Right, baby boys, I've descended from the heavens

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"to entertain your ass. You like what you see? Uh!" Like that!

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And Tulisa walks out from the smoke going,

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"I'm sorry I'm late, I stood in dog shit. I'm sorry!"

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HE RETCHES

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"Do these trackies look all right?"

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"I was bringing on Fazer by the bins."

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GROANING AND LAUGHTER

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What is that? Do you know what that looks like?

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You know when middle-aged people

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don't want to have sex with each other any more?

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That's what it looks like. "No, Roger, no!"

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"No! No, Roger!"

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"Please, Muriel!" "No!"

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"Just do me a Telegraph crossword, Roger."

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Anyway, I'm one of those snidey idiot double-standard people

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who like to mock reality television while sobbing over the finals.

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"Don't come in! I'm watching it at the moment.

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"I'm watching a Stephen Fry documentary about adjectives.

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"Don't come in...

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"He's been on a journey!"

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Right?

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"No, we don't watch any reality television. It's disgusting.

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Sometimes, we just stand in the garden covered in hummus

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-going, "Free Tibet! Free!"

-HE CHANTS

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"That's what a woman looks like, Roger. We have hair. Get over it!"

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HE BLOWS

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That's her pubes in the wind.

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-"Women have hair, Roger!"

-HE BLOWS

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I guarantee there are people watching this, shocked -

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women had pubes in the '80s. Didn't know. Didn't know.

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-GRUFF VOICE:

-"You don't know what we went through back then...

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"in the '80s, for you!"

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"You could have shaven...

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"You don't know what it was like!"

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"Barry lost his oesophagus."

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-IN RASPY VOICE:

-"That's right!"

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"She had a right gorilla salad!"

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GROANING

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Ladies and gentlemen, I've just introduced the phrase

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"gorilla salad" to the United Kingdom.

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APPLAUSE

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I'll tell you the bit that does wind me up about these reality shows.

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It doesn't matter whether you're on ice, having talent, X Factor...

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Even the celebrity ones, even the types of programmes

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that I might be encouraged to go on, it's the same thing.

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The sob story is trotted out before the performance,

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as though somehow, the shit that you've gone through

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modifies how tonal your voice is.

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Look, I'm sorry if you've lost someone, don't see your kids,

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your marriage has failed, you were adopted - news flash!

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Most people watching this have had some shit happen to them.

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That's called life. You don't get to ejaculate out of your gob and then,

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"Oh, my God, sad story. Suddenly his voice is more in tune."

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It makes no difference whatsoever!

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There's no-one that can go to work on Monday and go,

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"Do you mind if I don't do my filing?"

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# My nan's quite ill

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# Is my filing better now you know my nan is ill? #

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No, your filing's the same! You're fired, you prick! Get out!

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Now, if this show had a syllabus,

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then WitTank would be the ones to write it.

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Why? Because they're taking us back to The School.

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Jones, there's a wealthy prospective parent coming in today,

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so could you try and be normal for a change?

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Of course, I'll just make a note.

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Oh, and, Jones, she was widowed recently,

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-so try and act sensitively.

-DOOR OPENS

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Well, well, well, if it isn't the Fuckle Brothers!

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-Morning, Headmaster.

-Jones, come here.

-OK.

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Thank you.

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-Sir, you haven't forgotten about our guest today?

-Ah, yes, the WILF.

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-The what?

-A widow I'd like to f...

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-That's enough, Headmaster, the woman is in mourning.

-Yes, I know.

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Wealth and grief make me incredibly aroused.

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-I hope she's wearing a veil.

-Oh, look, please don't pester here!

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Pester? Huh! She's not a WILP.

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She's a woman on my banging list.

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A WOMBL.

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Excuse me, sorry, I was just looking for...

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Rosie?

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Neil?

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My goodness, it's been years!

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The last time...

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we saw each other must have been...

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SHE CLEARS THROAT

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This is my son.

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A son?

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Hello!

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Hello, yourself.

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Jones...

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come here.

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Oh, hello there. I understand you're a WILF.

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Hello, little one. You know, you look remarkably like...

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-Ow!

-Darling!

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That's my boy!

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I like your school.

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-And I like your beard.

-Thank you.

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-I was born with it.

-You know, I think you're going to do very well here.

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We should celebrate. Gin?

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Oh, no, I couldn't possibly drink in the mornings. Mummy doesn't like it.

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I beg your pardon?!

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-I don't drink alcohol and I respect my mother.

-You're not my son!

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-You can't hit a child!

-You're right.

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-She wasn't a WOMBL, she was a wanker.

-What does that stand for?

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APPLAUSE

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The School! How good was that?

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Now...

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They say that laughter isn't always the best medicine,

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so if you're having an asthma attack, look away now,

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because this is Two Episodes of Mash!

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WHOOPING

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Hello, I'm Joe, this is Diane.

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-Hello.

-Uh, it's our bit.

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We've got a green screen.

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Uh, we can do anything up here, so we thought we'd, uh,

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draw the first background using a huge Etch-o-Sketch.

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AUDIENCE: Woo!

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Why?

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Just do it, you knobhead.

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(Oh, God!)

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-Go left a bit.

-Piss off.

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-Go left a bit!

-What do you mean, "Left a bit"? I'm doing up and down.

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-Why are you doing, anyway?!

-DON'T SHOUT AT ME!

-Well, don't...

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-You haven't even told me what we're drawing!

-It's just...

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-What are we drawing?

-I DON'T KNOW!

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-An Etch-o-Sketch!

-Oh...

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-Do you want to...?

-This is shit.

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No, you're right. It's shit.

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Let's just do a sketch.

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It's too big to shake.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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First sketch...

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Uh...

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That's, um...

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-That's a forklift, there.

-Right, right, yeah.

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-I've had that about a year.

-Right.

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-Uh, admin area over there.

-OK.

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-We do invoicing, that sort of thing.

-Yeah.

-Uh...

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Then you got the staff room at the back, and this is, um...

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..pretty much where we, uh...

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-where we make the chocolate.

-Right.

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-I still can't believe I found the golden ticket.

-Yeah.

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-It's amazing.

-Yeah, well done, yeah, yeah.

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The chocolate wrappers over there, and that's, uh...

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that's pretty much it, yeah.

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Yeah. Unless you want to see where we park the van.

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What, that's it? That's the whole tour?

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Pretty much, yeah.

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I thought at least there'd be, like, a chocolate fountain or something.

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Why? It's just a factory.

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I spent about 300 quid trying to find that ticket!

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You fucking idiot!

0:11:200:11:22

-This is a rip-off!

-Yeah, I know!

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-More like Willy Wanker's Chocolate Factory.

-Hey!

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It hasn't really got an end.

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Hold on, I'll tell you what we'll do.

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What?

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-Let's pop that video of me...

-Oh, yeah, the pen one?

-Yeah.

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Can you pop that video up of me doing the, uh, bendy pen trick?

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LAUGHTER

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There's your big finish.

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APPLAUSE

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What thinkest thou, my love?

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Er...big!

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It's huge.

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It has more volume than a pensioner's telly.

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-I can see by your face you like it not.

-Nay, nay.

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And now we come to the chop, for I do loathe those munting locks.

0:12:300:12:34

Would that she'd done a Britney

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and shaved her pate, I could hate it less.

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Look how the hair piles and piles like old clothes

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outside a Sue Ryder shop.

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I must speak false and do it well.

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Phwoar! Ha-ha-ha!

0:12:450:12:48

In my breeches, it's like...

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a dropped garden hose.

0:12:500:12:52

-Fibber thou.

-Nay.

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Tis so beautiful that beauty doth overflow, folding back in on itself,

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making my face spasm so it portrays the opposite, me in disgust -

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-but it is not.

-Oh, make love to me, then.

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Prove the rigidity of thy desire.

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-Can I do you from behind?

-Bastard!

-It was jest.

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I cannot make love to thee yet, so fresh.

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Thou art KFC to me,

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hot and crisply served by permed locks,

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awash with secret blends of herbs and spices.

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Thou make me the Colonel,

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assembling the battered army of my desire. Hmm?

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Oh, Daveutio,

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thy zesty words are a refreshing lemon wipe

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on my greasy fears!

0:13:350:13:37

Good. Right...

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See you, then.

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What a c...

0:13:440:13:45

LAUGHTER

0:13:520:13:54

CHEERING

0:13:580:14:00

Diane...

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Diane!

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Di...

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Diane!

0:14:190:14:21

-Diane!

-What? I think your invisibility's worn off.

0:14:210:14:24

LAUGHTER

0:14:240:14:27

APPLAUSE

0:14:270:14:28

HIP-HOP MUSIC BLARES

0:14:300:14:32

Done!

0:14:320:14:33

Nice! The detailing is dope!

0:14:330:14:35

Yeah, it's that new Miami Tungsten I was telling you about.

0:14:350:14:38

It really makes the eyes pop.

0:14:380:14:39

Is that it? I wish you'd told me what size we were getting.

0:14:390:14:42

Why didn't you stop me?

0:14:420:14:44

THICK AMERICAN ACCENT: First rule of the gang -

0:14:440:14:46

gangsters don't tell other gangsters what to do.

0:14:460:14:49

(Is the second rule to have a silly accent?)

0:14:490:14:51

-What was that?

-Nothing.

0:14:510:14:52

Now, the second,

0:14:520:14:54

-we're going to discuss what to do about this skateboard.

-Longboard.

0:14:540:14:57

Whatever. But right now, I'm going to talk about hierarchy.

0:14:570:15:01

Let me lay it down. I'm at the top...

0:15:010:15:02

I literally can't understand you with that accent.

0:15:020:15:05

Sorry, I thought it added something.

0:15:050:15:07

I was just saying I want to talk about hierarchy.

0:15:070:15:09

-I'm at the top. Tom answers to me. Ishmael, you answer to Tom.

-Cool.

0:15:090:15:12

Ishmael, give me a handjob.

0:15:120:15:14

Overruled - if anything, he should give ME a handjob,

0:15:140:15:17

but not now, or ever.

0:15:170:15:19

Fine.

0:15:190:15:21

Ishmael, get me a beer, but I want it warm.

0:15:210:15:24

I always have my beers warm. That's my thing.

0:15:240:15:28

Yeah, same here. I like them hot though.

0:15:280:15:31

Hot beer is my thing.

0:15:310:15:32

Quite similar to mine.

0:15:320:15:34

Look who it is.

0:15:350:15:37

Everybody look tough. Ishmael...

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get my beer ready. HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES

0:15:400:15:43

-Is that a school trip?

-Don't know.

0:15:430:15:46

I'm pretty sure I saw the lanky one getting a handjob.

0:15:460:15:48

HE SPITS BEER OUT Ugh! That's too hot, Ishmael!

0:15:480:15:51

APPLAUSE

0:15:550:15:56

Now...

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Please give it up for the only Frenchman

0:15:580:16:00

we don't mind crossing our path, or should that be...

0:16:000:16:03

croissant our path?

0:16:030:16:04

GROANING

0:16:040:16:06

I'll be in my dressing room. This is Marcel Lucont!

0:16:060:16:09

APPLAUSE AND GENTLE PIANO MUSIC

0:16:090:16:11

Well...

0:16:170:16:19

time for a little bit of a cultural exchange.

0:16:190:16:22

I will give to you some culture in the form of poetry.

0:16:220:16:26

You will give to me your applause.

0:16:260:16:29

LAUGHTER

0:16:300:16:32

This is my ode...

0:16:320:16:35

to erectile dysfunction.

0:16:350:16:38

LAUGHTER

0:16:380:16:39

"No Hard Feelings."

0:16:400:16:43

APPLAUSE

0:16:430:16:45

HE CLEARS THROAT

0:16:520:16:53

What...is a man to do

0:16:530:16:57

When the brush that stirs the glue

0:16:570:17:00

Is no longer rigid oak

0:17:000:17:02

But balsa left to soak?

0:17:040:17:07

Why...has man's best friend

0:17:100:17:13

On whose posture you depend

0:17:130:17:15

Chosen simply to bend...

0:17:150:17:18

Not extend?

0:17:190:17:21

If the blame

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Cannot be aimed

0:17:230:17:25

At cocaine

0:17:250:17:26

Or vats of wine

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Then it's time

0:17:280:17:30

To concur...

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It is her!

0:17:320:17:33

Women...do not be shocked

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A dick half-cocked

0:17:390:17:40

Must not be mocked

0:17:400:17:42

Perhaps the pocket snake

0:17:440:17:47

Has an headache!

0:17:470:17:48

He gets the blues

0:17:500:17:52

When you refuse

0:17:520:17:54

To kiss it better...

0:17:540:17:57

When they occur

0:17:570:17:59

At 5am

0:17:590:18:01

And he taps you

0:18:010:18:03

On the back

0:18:060:18:08

For your assistance

0:18:110:18:13

With persistence

0:18:160:18:18

And you...

0:18:220:18:23

Say...

0:18:230:18:24

"No!"

0:18:240:18:26

So...off he goes

0:18:270:18:29

And from misuse

0:18:290:18:31

He is disposed to self-abuse

0:18:310:18:34

He sheds a milky tear

0:18:360:18:38

And shrivels back

0:18:400:18:42

In fear

0:18:420:18:43

The way to the heart of a man

0:18:480:18:49

I have read

0:18:490:18:50

Is via the stomach

0:18:500:18:52

Or so it is said

0:18:520:18:53

But I put it to you that instead

0:18:530:18:56

It is true there's an organ

0:18:560:18:58

You have sadly forgotten

0:18:580:19:00

Like the heart, during workouts

0:19:010:19:03

It expands and contracts

0:19:030:19:06

It is vital and blood-filled

0:19:060:19:08

And prone to attacks

0:19:080:19:10

And without proper care, it turns rotten!

0:19:110:19:16

APPLAUSE

0:19:170:19:19

Sarah, we've got so many costumes to make.

0:19:320:19:35

-Please can we just say I've won?

-No, I've still got £2 left.

0:19:350:19:39

We've been playing the same game for two weeks!

0:19:390:19:42

We started Cluedo five months ago, we still haven't finished that!

0:19:420:19:44

I know it was Professor Plum, I just can't prove why.

0:19:440:19:47

-Or Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

-It's really, really hard!

0:19:470:19:49

It's for five-to-ten year olds!

0:19:490:19:51

-Oh, please, Lizzie!

-Oh!

0:19:510:19:55

Community chest.

0:19:570:19:59

I have just won second prize in a beauty contest.

0:19:590:20:02

Out of two people.

0:20:020:20:04

Cos that joke never gets old(!)

0:20:040:20:06

SHE SIGHS

0:20:070:20:08

Ha! Go to jail, go directly to jail,

0:20:080:20:10

do not pass go, do not collect £200!

0:20:100:20:13

Well, we're never going to finish

0:20:140:20:15

if you keep throwing the dice on the floor.

0:20:150:20:17

You're late.

0:20:270:20:28

Sorry, Barry, I got stuck at Pall Mall.

0:20:290:20:31

Some idiot parked a ship in the middle of the road.

0:20:310:20:33

-How are you?

-How am I?

0:20:330:20:36

Let me see...

0:20:360:20:38

My husband's in jail and I'm mortgaged up to my eyeballs.

0:20:380:20:40

-You used to be fun.

-Try being fun

0:20:420:20:44

when you're in debt to the electric company to the tune of £150!

0:20:440:20:46

I told you, all I've got to do is play the game

0:20:460:20:48

and I'll be out of here soon.

0:20:480:20:50

Well, what if I don't want you any more, Barry?

0:20:500:20:52

-What if I want something better?

-Please, Cheryl, take a chance!

0:20:520:20:56

No, I'm going to get myself out of this mess, and you want to know how?

0:20:560:21:00

I'm going to land on Free Parking, and I'll be so filthy rich,

0:21:000:21:03

I'll buy the biggest property on Mayfair

0:21:030:21:05

and everyone will come and stay in it

0:21:050:21:07

and I'll call it the Big Red Hotel!

0:21:070:21:10

Cheryl, don't leave me here, I've got nothing!

0:21:100:21:12

It's game over, Barry.

0:21:120:21:15

Good luck.

0:21:160:21:17

Oh, Cheryl, you left your...

0:21:200:21:22

Yes! I'm free, and I'm back in the game!

0:21:260:21:30

-FROM STAGE:

-Now sit back and enjoy Two Episodes of Mash!

0:21:320:21:35

CHEERING

0:21:350:21:37

SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC

0:21:420:21:45

Diane, come and have a look at this.

0:21:530:21:55

LAUGHTER

0:22:020:22:03

You do know the family are having an open coffin, don't you?

0:22:090:22:12

LAUGHTER

0:22:120:22:14

I've used permanent marker.

0:22:170:22:19

LAUGHTER

0:22:190:22:21

APPLAUSE

0:22:220:22:24

CHEERING

0:22:290:22:30

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:22:300:22:32

he's a giant of a man and a legend in his own words,

0:22:320:22:35

so please give it up for Bubba Duke!

0:22:350:22:37

MOTORCYCLE REVS

0:22:370:22:39

MUSIC: "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)" by Limp Bizkit

0:22:390:22:41

# Keep rollin', rollin', rollin''

0:22:410:22:43

# Keep rollin', rollin', rollin'... #

0:22:430:22:46

Whoa!

0:22:460:22:47

# ..Keep rollin', rollin', rollin'

0:22:470:22:49

# Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'

0:22:490:22:51

# Keep rollin', rollin', rollin'... #

0:22:510:22:54

Stop the music.

0:22:540:22:55

You ladies fancy a ride?

0:22:550:22:57

BOTH: Yeah, Bubba!

0:22:570:22:59

Well, take this in the car park, go have some fun.

0:22:590:23:02

Ladies and gentlemen, how we all doing?

0:23:030:23:05

-CHEERING

-Can I get a yeehaw?

0:23:050:23:08

AUDIENCE: Yeehaw!

0:23:080:23:10

Can I get a Boom Town?!

0:23:100:23:13

AUDIENCE: Boom Town!

0:23:130:23:14

Ladies and gentlemen, you're very lucky tonight.

0:23:140:23:16

You are in the presence of a musical god.

0:23:160:23:19

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I'm a damn superstar.

0:23:190:23:22

-LAUGHTER

-See, a few years back,

0:23:220:23:26

I had a eureka moment.

0:23:260:23:28

I had the idea of crossing and blending two kinds of music -

0:23:280:23:32

country music and hip-hop...

0:23:320:23:35

creating something I like to call...

0:23:350:23:38

"Count"-hop.

0:23:380:23:39

LAUGHTER

0:23:390:23:41

I ain't lying, man.

0:23:420:23:43

I ain't slept alone since...

0:23:430:23:46

..which Noogie here ain't too happy about,

0:23:470:23:49

but beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?

0:23:490:23:52

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up to Noogie Carson.

0:23:520:23:54

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:23:540:23:56

Yes!

0:23:560:23:58

He's a good guy. I love him, man, but he is irritating.

0:24:000:24:02

Hell, he's so irritating, thrush is afraid of catching him.

0:24:020:24:05

LAUGHTER

0:24:050:24:07

Yeah! Hellfire!

0:24:070:24:08

I don't want to waste time talking about this piece of shit though.

0:24:080:24:11

LAUGHTER

0:24:110:24:12

I want to talk to you about something I couldn't live without.

0:24:120:24:15

Women.

0:24:160:24:18

My world has three types of women.

0:24:180:24:21

Type number three...

0:24:210:24:23

you got breeders.

0:24:230:24:24

Now, breeders are important women

0:24:240:24:26

because they're the women who are going to carry and raise your kids.

0:24:260:24:30

And they're worth every cent of child support you give them.

0:24:300:24:33

LAUGHTER

0:24:330:24:35

-Next up, you've got boilers.

-LAUGHTER

0:24:350:24:37

The boilers are the funny looking women of the world.

0:24:370:24:40

Yeah, they've got a funky nose,

0:24:400:24:42

neck like a tortoise...

0:24:420:24:44

maybe their whole face looks like a side of ham.

0:24:440:24:46

LAUGHTER

0:24:460:24:49

I don't mean to be offensive, ladies and gentlemen,

0:24:490:24:51

I realise if I was a lady, I'd be a boiler myself.

0:24:510:24:54

LAUGHTER

0:24:540:24:56

Lastly, you've got my favourite type of woman...

0:24:560:24:58

the beautiful women, man,

0:24:580:25:01

sweet-ass mamas,

0:25:010:25:02

tweety birds,

0:25:020:25:03

friggin' fly honeys...

0:25:030:25:05

Tell me, Noogie, what do you call them?

0:25:050:25:08

-I prefer...human being.

-Oh, he's a sensitive kind.

0:25:080:25:11

That's why he ain't getting no pussy.

0:25:110:25:14

LAUGHTER

0:25:140:25:16

I like to call them sticky rib women,

0:25:160:25:18

because they're finger-lickin' good.

0:25:180:25:20

LAUGHTER

0:25:200:25:21

Hell, I could eat one just about now. Boom town!

0:25:210:25:24

How you doing, friend? You got a song for us?

0:25:240:25:28

Yeah, I'm, uh...

0:25:280:25:30

I got a song about my sister.

0:25:310:25:33

Oh, she was a good girl, man.

0:25:330:25:35

It's a year since she passed and I...

0:25:350:25:37

..I miss her, Bub.

0:25:390:25:40

SOFT GUITAR MUSIC

0:25:400:25:42

-# Hurt is on my sleeve

-Say what, say what...?

0:25:420:25:45

# I wasn't ready for you to leave

0:25:460:25:49

# What? What? What?

0:25:490:25:51

# Sister of a man

0:25:530:25:55

# Oh, sister of a man

0:25:550:25:57

# Lost in God's own mighty plan

0:25:580:26:01

# I miss her big fat titties and her itty-bitty waist

0:26:030:26:06

# Her tight little butt and her dirty filthy face

0:26:060:26:09

# Gang bang's ain't the same

0:26:090:26:10

# We all miss ya

0:26:100:26:12

# Rest in peace, Noogie's dead sister. #

0:26:120:26:15

-Yeah!

-APPLAUSE

0:26:150:26:18

I've been Bubba Duke. See you down the track!

0:26:180:26:21

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:26:210:26:23

Bubba Duke, ladies and gentlemen! Yeah!

0:26:300:26:32

Woo!

0:26:320:26:35

Well, if you're gagging for more performance,

0:26:350:26:37

you'll see we've laid our clips wide for you at...

0:26:370:26:39

So from me and all four corners of the Electric Circuit, goodbye!

0:26:410:26:45

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:450:26:47

HIP-HOP MUSIC BLARES

0:26:490:26:50

MUSIC STOPS

0:26:510:26:53

IN AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey, brother! Where's your bandana?

0:26:530:26:55

Drop the accent, Tom. I found this in your drawer.

0:26:550:27:00

You wrote the note, didn't you?

0:27:000:27:01

There is no "Lighting Crew."

0:27:010:27:03

There is! They stole my...

0:27:030:27:05

I just don't understand why you would have made it all up.

0:27:050:27:08

I didn't! I just...

0:27:080:27:10

I just...

0:27:110:27:13

I just always wanted to be in a gang.

0:27:150:27:17

Sorry.

0:27:170:27:18

It's cool.

0:27:190:27:21

I actually quite enjoyed it while it lasted.

0:27:210:27:23

Plus, those lighting guys have always been dicks to me, so...

0:27:230:27:26

I can't believe you broke my skateboard.

0:27:270:27:30

I thought it was a longboard.

0:27:300:27:32

-Where's Ishmael?

-I don't know. I thought he went home.

0:27:320:27:35

I never thought his heart was in it, anyway.

0:27:350:27:37

This is for the longboard.

0:27:430:27:45

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:000:28:03

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