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# Read about the things that happen | 0:00:03 | 0:00:06 | |
# Throughout the world | 0:00:06 | 0:00:07 | |
# Don't believe in everything you see or hear | 0:00:09 | 0:00:13 | |
# Read all about it Read all about it | 0:00:14 | 0:00:20 | |
# News of the world News of the world... # | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING # Read all about it! | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
# Read all about it! | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
# News of the world News of the world. # | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
This programme contains some strong language. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:34 | |
Hello, welcome to Mock The Week. I'm Dara O Briain. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
Joining me this week are Ivo Graham, Ed Byrne and Romesh Ranganathan, | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
Angela Barnes, Hugh Dennis and Ed Gamble. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
We start with a round called If This Is The Answer, What Is The Question? | 0:00:50 | 0:00:53 | |
On the board are six categories. Ivo, which category would you like? | 0:00:53 | 0:00:57 | |
-I would like Home News, please, Dara. -Lovely! | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
Home News it is. The answer is "1 year". What is the question? | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
"What would be an appropriate prison sentence | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
"for people who use the phrase 'hollybubs'"? | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
Not the answer, but I'll take it. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
Is it, er, how long the BBC have left now they've lost Bake Off? | 0:01:13 | 0:01:18 | |
And the clock is already ticking! Yeah, yeah. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
Is it, "In a Wetherspoons kitchen, | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
"what is the chef's equivalent of the five-second rule"? | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
HUGH LAUGHS | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
Is it, er, Southern Rail's estimate for a London to Brighton journey? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:34 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
Do people kiss goodbye to their children at | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
a Southern Rail station and go, "You look after your mum"? | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
Is it, "How long does it take to earn 100 quid | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
"if you work at Sports Direct"? | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
"How long does it take a YouTube clip to buffer at my parents' house?!" | 0:01:50 | 0:01:54 | |
Is it, "How long would Charles Manson have gotten in prison | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
"if he'd been a promising swimmer"? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
GASPS AND LAUGHTER | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
-Yeah! A bit of truth! -A bit of politics there. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
Er, "How long does Jeremy Hunt want junior doctors to work per week"? | 0:02:07 | 0:02:11 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:14 | 0:02:15 | |
OK, so, under Theresa May's education reforms, | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
"How much of a carefree childhood will children now be allowed?" | 0:02:20 | 0:02:25 | |
Is it, "How long would it take to re-watch | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
"all of Dara's TV appearances from the last month"? | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
-Dara, you're doing well, mate! -Thank you very much. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
You're doing well for yourself! | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
"If I make a joke about Isis in the queue, | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
"how long will it take me to get through airport security?" | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
OK, does anyone have the correct answer? | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
I think, "How long has Jeremy Corbyn been leader of the Labour Party?" | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
It is indeed, thank you very much, Hugh Dennis, well done. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
Yes, the question we were looking for was, | 0:02:56 | 0:02:58 | |
"For how long has Jeremy Corbyn been the leader of the Labour Party?" | 0:02:58 | 0:03:02 | |
And will he stay as leader of the Labour Party? | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
He's not had a very successful year, has he, really? | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
He moves forward with all the dynamism, | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
energy and impetus of a canal boat. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
But his followers really, really, really, really believe in him, | 0:03:14 | 0:03:18 | |
to the extent that, at the party conference, | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
they told the caterers just to provide loaves and fishes. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
Jeremy Corbyn has got the look of a man who can survive six months | 0:03:24 | 0:03:28 | |
on one Kendal Mint Cake. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
They always say that, | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
"But look, tens of thousands of Corbyn fans took to the streets!" | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
It's like, yeah, at a Corbyn rally! It's like going to the Emirates | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
and going, "Bloody hell! Look at all these Arsenal fans!" | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
-It's... -LAUGHTER | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
The problem is, he's got nice ideas, like, you know, his policies are | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
nice and sort of cuddly and people want to support them, but he's crap | 0:03:47 | 0:03:52 | |
at actually being a politician, like, if he was a computer game, | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
he would be the last character that you would choose. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
Put in terms I understand - what Pokemon is he? | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
I would say he's Lickitung. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
-You know, just sort of, like, quite sluggish. -Yeah. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
I think he's more Magikarp - a flapping fish, you know, | 0:04:07 | 0:04:09 | |
needs a lot of candy to upgrade. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
I feel like my nightmare has finally come true! It has happened! | 0:04:11 | 0:04:15 | |
I am sitting here and I do not understand | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
what you are talking about! | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
And, and, in your nightmare, | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
were you dressed as a member of Mumford & Sons? | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
-Or...one of the Borrowers? -Are you throwing shade at my waistcoat?! | 0:04:28 | 0:04:33 | |
LAUGHTER It's a little rural for you - | 0:04:33 | 0:04:37 | |
that particular waistcoat - have you come into some land recently?! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:41 | |
Neither... Neither he or his challenger for the party leadership, | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
Owen Smith, would make very good X-Men. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
Corbyn's superpower would be sitting in the corner, | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
even though there are seats available. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
And, you know, Owen Smith's superpower would be, | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
if he walks into a room, no-one knows who he is. | 0:04:56 | 0:05:00 | |
Because, Owen Smith, he looks like God's tried to make | 0:05:00 | 0:05:03 | |
the most boring-looking man he can and, halfway through, he got bored! | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
Owen Smith - what example did he give this week | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
of his leadership qualities? | 0:05:12 | 0:05:13 | |
-PANELLISTS LAUGH -This is amazing, right! | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
So, he reckons he pulled his wife at an all-boys school. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:19 | |
She was one of the few girls there. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
So, therefore, he's got leadership qualities. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
Now, as the only person on the panel who has been a teenage girl... | 0:05:23 | 0:05:27 | |
-let me tell you right now... -Don't make assumptions, Angela! | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:30 | 0:05:31 | |
Little Romena had a great time at school, right? | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
As the only one who's been a teenage girl, right, | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
there have been many things that have got me into bed, right? | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
Someone's mum having a Nissan Micra that he had full use of, you know. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:42 | |
A haircut, a mix tape! But it's never been... | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
No teenage girl has ever written in their diary, | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
"I really like Dave's leadership qualities." Never! | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
I reckon what he did was he just copped off with her first and then | 0:05:50 | 0:05:54 | |
no-one else wanted to catch Owen Smith's "lack of charisma-itis". | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
Speaking of school, what does Theresa May plan for schools in England? | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
She's going to abolish the Defence Against The Dark Arts. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:06:07 | 0:06:08 | |
-She wants to bring back grammar schools, doesn't she? -Yes! | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
She wants to bring back the Sorting Hat! | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
DARA LAUGHS | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
Stop with the Harry Potter! | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
You just had a conversation about Pokemon! | 0:06:19 | 0:06:23 | |
Yeah, but I know a tiny bit about Pokemon! I know nothing... | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
I'm going, "Ha-ha, ha-ha!" to his joke! | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
But your one appeared and then, I went, "Er, no, too much." | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
-What do you think the Sorting Hat is, Dara? -Well, I suspect... | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
I suspect they put names into a hat and they pick them from it! | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
Oh, how wrong...? How wrong it is! | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
There's nothing magical about a raffle! | 0:06:40 | 0:06:43 | |
Did you learn nothing in all your time as a house elf?! | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Was it a large plot of land you inherited? | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
-I went to grammar school. -Did you? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
I went to an all-girls grammar school and I'm sort of conflicted, | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
cos the lefty in me is pretty much against the grammar school system, | 0:07:05 | 0:07:08 | |
but it kind of worked for me, you know. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
On the one side, it was, you know, people weren't ashamed of academic | 0:07:10 | 0:07:14 | |
achievement, it meant you could... But on the other side, you know, | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
-there was no cock, so you know... -LAUGHTER | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
It's, um, it's very, very divisive and, generally, | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
people who didn't go to grammar schools say there should be | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
less grammar schools, not more, and people who did go to | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
grammar school say, "No, no, there should be FEWER grammar schools." | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
You know, I think those children should be together. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
When I was at school, it was nice, if you were struggling, | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
it was nice to see, like, a thicker kid struggling more than you. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
-For your sort of...for your sort of self-esteem. -Good for you, yeah! | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
You sort of think, "God, this is hard, but you know, | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
"he's not even got his pen the right way round." | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
-You know! -Exactly! -Yeah, you can have too much competition. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
You're denying every child the benefit and right | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
-of having a stupid friend. -Yeah. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
Like, I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have John Ashmore, | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
who once ate a bee cos we told him it was honey flavoured. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
HUGE LAUGHTER | 0:08:06 | 0:08:07 | |
Listen, I entirely agree with just having a friend | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
who's just there for you to, er... LAUGHTER | 0:08:10 | 0:08:14 | |
-The, er... -You see, cos in Ireland, | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
we had, not so much with the different school, | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
-we had streaming within schools... -Within the schools. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
..which is where you have the clever kids would go into this class | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
and the stupid kids were thrown in a stream. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
The stream ran into the forest, so they had everything they needed! | 0:08:29 | 0:08:33 | |
-And it appeased the goblins who lived in the forest... -Absolutely! | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
-..and ate the stupid children. -Yes! | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
-Did you have...? -Apart from the few that escaped and joined boybands! | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
Yeah! LAUGHTER | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
Um, I think, whatever we think of it all, it's going to happen, | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
because Michael Gove has come out in support of it. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
-Do we not agree with that? -Michael "gets things done" Gove? | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
Michael "gets things done" Gove is back, getting the campaign | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
loads of publicity, totally discrediting the experts, | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
pushing it through, winning the campaign, knifing all the opponents | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
and then knifing himself for good measure - yes, please! | 0:09:00 | 0:09:03 | |
Welcome to grammar schools! | 0:09:03 | 0:09:04 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
I was a teacher. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:09 | |
When we had, like, top-achieving kids, I didn't bother, you know... | 0:09:09 | 0:09:13 | |
If they finished their work, I don't go, "Have something more difficult," | 0:09:13 | 0:09:17 | |
I just go, "Continue and remain quiet and I'll deal | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
"with the other pricks that can't do any of this. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
"If anything, your proximity to me will damage your grade potentially!" | 0:09:23 | 0:09:29 | |
Comedy's gain really was teaching's loss, wasn't it? | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
What is the latest thing that schoolchildren have to worry about? | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
Is it Romesh going back to teaching? | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
-It's nits. -It's nits! It's super nits! -Yeah! | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
I'll tell you why they've got too many nits. It's cos they're all | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
sharing the same hat to decide which house they go into. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
I feel bad about not knowing this, except it is from a children's book! | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
Oh, it's about 40 pages into book one! Knock yourself out! | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
I'm not going deep on Order Of The Phoenix here! | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
Whereas something like Robot Wars is really adult, isn't it? | 0:10:10 | 0:10:15 | |
-And that's, er... -I am not... LAUGHTER | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
The, er... So, anyway, nits - why? | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
Apparently, they're quite resistant to, you know, | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
-the shampoos that used to kill them, in our day. -Back in the day. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
-Although I don't think even you had to worry yourself... -I had... | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
I had lovely, lustrous hair! | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
I was walking around like a housing estate for the nits, me! | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
Now you're walking around like a country estate! | 0:10:37 | 0:10:41 | |
There's too many burns coming across me. I'm getting singed! | 0:10:41 | 0:10:45 | |
I think people need to adjust their thinking when it comes to nits | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
and just don't think of them as something you need to kill. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
Think of them like pets, can't you? | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
You know, if a kid comes home from school with the guinea pig, | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
you don't go, "Agh! Kill it! | 0:10:55 | 0:10:58 | |
"Oh, it's resistant to this particular tennis racket!" No! | 0:10:58 | 0:11:02 | |
You go, "Oh, look, guinea pig!" | 0:11:02 | 0:11:03 | |
So, the same with nits, you go, "No, look, it's great! | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
"That's not an infestation, that's a flea circus!" | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
Yeah, but the difference is, the guinea pig is in a tank, | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
it's not hiding up your arse! | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
The nits are a parasite that are actually on your system! | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
-You can't go, "Oh, we're having a little fun here!" -Yeah! | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
And then it makes you scratch, makes you look thoughtful! | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
I wasn't allowed pets! I would have loved it when I was little. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
The best I could do was, I got a fly, right, dumped it in some water, | 0:11:24 | 0:11:28 | |
ripped out one of my hairs, tied it to the fly and, when it dried out, | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
I had a fly on a lead. That was my pet! | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
And she went to a grammar school! | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
At the end of that round, the points go to Romesh, Ed and Ivo! | 0:11:38 | 0:11:43 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Now, we play a round called Bake Off Has Mocked Off! | 0:11:48 | 0:11:52 | |
Er... LAUGHTER | 0:11:52 | 0:11:53 | |
This game involves Ivo Graham and Ed Gamble, | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
so, if you could make your way to the performance area, please. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
This round is a stand-up challenge. | 0:11:58 | 0:11:59 | |
I launch the Wheel Of News and, wherever it chooses to stop, | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
one of our performers must step forward and talk about that subject. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
OK, here we go. Let's spin the wheel, please. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
And the topic is Technology. Ivo? | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
I think, er... | 0:12:14 | 0:12:15 | |
I think our generation were a bit of the crossover generation | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
when it came to modern technology, so, for example, | 0:12:18 | 0:12:21 | |
I had access to computers as a teenager at my school, | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
but not proper video games, so the video games that I played as | 0:12:24 | 0:12:27 | |
a teenager were the ones that came free with the computers. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
Whoa! Let me tell you, | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
what a rock and roll mid-Noughties existence that was! | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
Those long afternoons on my own spent playing Minesweeper! | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
Playing pinball! And trying to scroll down | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
all the way to the bottom of Microsoft Excel! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:43 | |
Not strictly a video game! | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
But when you're lonely enough, still feels like an achievement! | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
And I'm proud to stand here now and boast in front of you all | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
that I've completed Excel and lived to tell the tale. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
I've gone where few mortals dare to tread, all the way down, | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
all the way right. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
Written my name in that bottom right-hand Excel cell. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
I won't tell you what that cell is called. It would blow your minds! | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
I spent a joyous moment just hovering over control P... | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
and just imagining the carnage. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
-LAUGHTER -Did I have the balls?! | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
The sheer granite testes | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
to print off the entirety of Excel on the school paper supply? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
I didn't in the end, but the thought experiment was enough alone. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:25 | |
Then, in my last year, we had a games console. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
Our first group video game - Mario Kart! | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
If you're not familiar with it, | 0:13:30 | 0:13:31 | |
it's the greatest video game and thing of all time! | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
I've since tried intercourse, still prefer Mario Kart. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
HUGE LAUGHTER | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
On Mario Kart, you're actively encouraged to finish first. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
And, if you do, there's no shame! | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
Well done, Ivo Graham! | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
OK, that leaves us with Ed. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Let's see what you've been left with. Let's spin the wheel. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
And the topic is relationships. Away you go. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
I am in a serious relationship - that's what she makes me say. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
Serious. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
"I'm in a serious relationship. This is my partner." | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
Sounds like you're in a law firm, is what it sounds like. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
Serious relationship? Sounds like a disease! | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
"How's your relationship?" "I'm sorry to say it's serious." | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
I'm not in a serious relationship! I'm in a silly relationship. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
You tell me if you think this sounds like a serious relationship. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
The other day, me and my girlfriend were having a discussion | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
about The Beatles. At some point during that discussion, | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
she forgot George Harrison's name. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
Now, she previously knew George Harrison's name, | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
but her brain did something to her that all of our brains do to us | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
now and again - it just deleted a fact for no reason. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
And it panics you when that happens. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
You think, "Am I going mad? Am I going senile?" You go on | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
a spiral of panic and worry, and I could see she was worried! | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
And any good boyfriend in that situation would have told her | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
George Harrison's name and I am a good boyfriend. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
But I am a better comedian. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:52 | 0:14:53 | |
So what I chose to do in that situation was write down every guess | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
that she took at George Harrison's name. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
I have memorised them...and I'm now going to recite them to you, | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
the good people of Mock The Week. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
Here we go. Guess number one - John, Paul, Ringo... | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
-John! There it is! -LAUGHTER | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
She thought there might've been two Johns in The Beatles. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
Maybe The Beatles were a double John band! | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
And as if we'd remember them in that order. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
We wouldn't go John, Paul, Ringo, John! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
We wouldn't bookend it with Johns! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
It would be John, John, Paul, Ringo, Paul, Ringo, John, John, or Paul, Ringo and the Johns. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
She knew that was wrong immediately. I squawked in her face! | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
Guess number two - John, Paul, Ringo... | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
Joseph! "Hello, Joseph! What are you doing in there? | 0:15:36 | 0:15:40 | |
"I didn't realise The Beatles were a nativity-themed band!" | 0:15:40 | 0:15:43 | |
Three guys with '60s hairdos, | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
one child with a tea towel tied to his head! | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
Again, she knew it was wrong. I was on the floor already. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
Then her brain gave her a little free pass, gave her a clue, | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
gave her the surname. Thank you, brain! John, Paul, Ringo... | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
Tony Harrison! | 0:15:56 | 0:15:57 | |
Oh, Tony, you're not part of this conversation! | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
Please remove yourself from the vicinity immediately! | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
I said, "You're half right! You're half right!" | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
I promise you, her next guess was Harrison Ford! | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:16:09 | 0:16:11 | |
-Thank you very much! -Bravo. Very good! | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
At the end of that round, the points go to Ed Gamble. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:16:17 | 0:16:18 | |
The next round is called Picture Of The Week. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
I show the panel a topical image and ask them to tell me what's happening. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
So, what's going on here? | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
Oh, is this a picture of what Donald Trump refers to as "Patient Zero"? | 0:16:29 | 0:16:34 | |
Er, worst Stevie Wonder tribute ever? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
"Peter Stringfellow emerges from another cracking night at Angels." | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
Hands up if you made a bracelet out of some spare handbag chain. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
By the reflection in her glasses, | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
she appears to be looking at a tornado of some sort as well. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
She's trying to prove she's not an ageing candidate, | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
but she's left her napkin tucked in from dinner. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
Yeah, that soup gets everywhere, doesn't it? | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
Cos people have been saying she's using a body double, haven't they? | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
And I think, well, it's nice to see Judy Finnigan back in work. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
-I think the answer you're after... -Yes, Hugh, what is that? | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
That is Hillary Clinton. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:28 | 0:17:29 | |
Thank you very much, Hugh, yes. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
-She's...she's mocking Donald Trump with her normal-sized fingers. -Yes! | 0:17:33 | 0:17:40 | |
-"Look at these!" -Yes, this is a picture of | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
US Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton in New York, | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
where she was taken ill this week after being diagnosed with pneumonia. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:48 | |
Is this, like, um, a huge bump in the road for her? | 0:17:48 | 0:17:52 | |
Well, yes, cos people will say, | 0:17:52 | 0:17:53 | |
"Oh, no! She's got a cough, let's elect a racist instead!" | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
Because he's done many things, but he hasn't coughed recently. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
Yeah! It's this idea, even if she is... | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
even if she's dying, even if she's DEAD... | 0:18:04 | 0:18:08 | |
you are better off electing her! | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
I have pulled stuff out of my shower drain | 0:18:10 | 0:18:14 | |
that would be a better president than Donald Trump... | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
-APPLAUSE -..and would look better... | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
-CHEERING -..than his stupid head! | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
I think it's very shrewd of her to get a disease | 0:18:25 | 0:18:28 | |
that Trump supporters definitely can't spell. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
He's furiously looking through N in the medical dictionary! | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
"Maybe there's a K in front of it!" LAUGHTER | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
Trump's got to be careful, like, you know, | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
just keep going on about her health all the time, look at him! | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
Right, if a heart attack was a person, | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
it would look like Donald Trump. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
And that's the problem, cos you've got older candidates. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
-I think she's 68. -Yeah. -He's 70. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
Not like in England, obviously. Cameron can get in, he can rip | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
the country in half for the sake of a power play and - boom! - | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
he's back on the after-dinner circuit before he hits 50. Nice! | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
What are the claims that have been made about Hillary's health? | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
-That they're using a body double. -Yes, exactly. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
-That she's too weak. -That it's not actually Hillary. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
And I think, well, you know, it wouldn't be the first time that | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
she's got someone else to do the difficult jobs for her, would it? | 0:19:12 | 0:19:16 | |
Monica Lewinsky! Yeah. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
-Thank you for the clarity. -Thank you. -Mmm! -Just thought I'd spell that out. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
Yeah, various claims, you know, cos, God love us, | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
the internet is full of people who have these theories. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
She's had several strokes, apparently, | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
and suffers from seizures, that she wears adult diapers. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:33 | |
The National Enquirer claimed she'll be dead in six months last September. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
A Republican congressman said she had special needs | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
and was mentally impaired. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
Forensic pathologists suggested she has been poisoned, er, | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
and that she has multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's, HIV, vascular dementia | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
and lupus! Er, these are all claims made about her. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
-All that taken into account, she's looking fucking amazing! -She is! | 0:19:51 | 0:19:55 | |
Donald Trump looks like he's using a body double | 0:19:57 | 0:20:00 | |
and it's inside of him trying to get out. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
Er, what surprise move did David Cameron make this week? | 0:20:05 | 0:20:09 | |
Well, he's resigned, hasn't he? | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
-He has resigned, yeah. -He's resigned, he's found a facial surgeon, | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
he's moving to Paraguay and he's hoping the Remainers never find him. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:17 | |
But that's the thing about his resignation, they said to him, | 0:20:18 | 0:20:22 | |
or asked, "Why have you resigned?" | 0:20:22 | 0:20:23 | |
And he said, "Because I no longer want to be a distraction to Theresa | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
"and what she's doing with the Government," | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
but I didn't know you were still operating, mate. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
He's just sort of pretending he... "Theresa? Theresa? Theresa? | 0:20:31 | 0:20:35 | |
"Theresa? Theresa? | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
"Theresa? Theresa? | 0:20:37 | 0:20:39 | |
"Theresa? THERESA? | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
"THERESA?! | 0:20:41 | 0:20:43 | |
"I don't want to distract you any more!" | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:20:46 | 0:20:47 | |
It's like saying, "Oh, I couldn't possibly come to your wedding. It's your special day." | 0:20:53 | 0:20:57 | |
But he said that, if Brexit won, he'd stay on as Prime Minister. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
-He did. -And then he didn't! | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
And then he said, well, he'd stay on as an MP! | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
And then he didn't! | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
I'm starting to think politicians can't be trusted! | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
He's done exactly what I would do in this situation, cos he did say, | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
"I have been thinking about it all summer and I've decided | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
"I'm going to stand down." No, you've taken all the holiday pay | 0:21:21 | 0:21:24 | |
and you've quit on your first day back! | 0:21:24 | 0:21:26 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
And now, the great legacy bullshit starts, with gay marriage. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
"Oh, gay marriage! Don't forget, I did gay marriage. That was mine. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:39 | |
"Gay marriage! Not food banks, not food banks! Ssh! Food banks!" Er... | 0:21:39 | 0:21:43 | |
I read an article where they said one of his ups was the Olympics. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
I don't think he can fully take credit for the Olympics! | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
That's just a good thing that happened when he was in power. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
He can't go, "Well, of course, Adele's last album, | 0:21:51 | 0:21:53 | |
"I was there for that." | 0:21:53 | 0:21:54 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:21:56 | 0:21:57 | |
In other news, what's going on here? | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
Oh, is this the first shots of Channel 4's Bake Off? | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
Well, they had to get somebody to do it! | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
Um, by the way, any comments we make about Bake Off, | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
this is done on a Tuesday, it's all breaking, | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
Mel and Sue now are not doing it, who knows who's going to be doing it? | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
So we really... It's a situation that we don't know, by Friday, | 0:22:17 | 0:22:20 | |
but can I just say I'm really excited to be taking over and... | 0:22:20 | 0:22:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
..I... You know, I think... | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
Mel and Sue will always be, in my heart, | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
the original presenters and the best, but I just think there are other | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
directions we'll go in, but they'll always have... Well done, them. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
But anyway, so we're back on Channel 4 next year, boom-boom! OK... | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
I find it quite insulting that you've even made a joke | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
assuming that you'd take it over, | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
when I've actually hosted episodes of the Bake Off! | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
I've actually done it! | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
-Yeah, for charity. I'd do it for money. -Yeah! | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
Er, so anyway... Sorry, this picture, please. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
Is it, um, Michael McIntyre meets his new PR team? | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
DARA LAUGHS | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
"We washed four of these uniforms in normal washing powder | 0:23:10 | 0:23:13 | |
"and one in brand-new Daz!" | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
What has Kim Jong-un banned in North Korea? | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
I would guess, looking at that, spaghetti bolognese. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
At the end of that round, the points go to Angela, Hugh and Ed! | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
Now, we come to Scenes We'd Like To See, so, if everyone can make their | 0:23:36 | 0:23:39 | |
way over to the performance area, I'll read out this week's topics | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
and then we'll see what our panellists can come up with. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
OK, here we go, the first subject is... | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
Unlikely Lines From A Children's Book. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
"Mr Stubborn wouldn't leave. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
"He was the elected leader of the Labour Party." | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
BUZZ! | 0:23:59 | 0:24:00 | |
"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow you, Keith Vaz!" | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
BUZZ! | 0:24:07 | 0:24:08 | |
"As Noddy looked at his new friends, | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
"Rampant Rabbit and Linda The Love Egg, | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
"he realised he was in a very different kind of Toytown." | 0:24:13 | 0:24:17 | |
BUZZ! | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
"And all the animals of Buttercup Farm celebrated, | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
"cos Percy Pig was going to the slaughterhouse | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
"and they never had to listen to that whiny little bastard again!" | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
BUZZ! | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
"And the beautiful woman was cursed to sleep for 100 years." | 0:24:31 | 0:24:35 | |
"And that's your defence, is it, Mr Cosby?" | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
GASPS AND SOME BOOS | 0:24:38 | 0:24:41 | |
BUZZ! | 0:24:41 | 0:24:42 | |
She didn't do it! Don't boo her! LAUGHTER | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
" 'I'm Paddington Bear from Peru,' said Paddington. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:49 | |
" 'And if you show me where the toilet is, | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
" 'I'll poo out this condom of cocaine.' " | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
APPLAUSE, BUZZ! | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
"It's the absolutely horrific follow-up to 'Netflix and chill' - | 0:25:00 | 0:25:04 | |
"Swallows And Amazons." | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
LAUGHTER AND GASPS | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
BUZZ! | 0:25:08 | 0:25:09 | |
"And was there a happy ending? | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
"Well, the Prince did love massage parlours." | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
BUZZ! | 0:25:16 | 0:25:17 | |
" 'I will never tell you my name! | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
" 'You will have to guess my name,' said Rumpelstiltskin, | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
"really holding up the queue at Starbucks." | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
BUZZ! | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
"From under the bridge came the voice of the troll. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
" 'Wah! Women can't be Ghostbusters!' Send! " | 0:25:30 | 0:25:34 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
"Every day, Jack and Jill have to walk up a hill | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
"to fetch just one pail of water. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:44 | |
"But for just £5 a month..." | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
BUZZ! | 0:25:48 | 0:25:49 | |
" 'Oh! It wasn't a giant peach after all,' thought James, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
"as he watched the Big Friendly Giant put on his swimming trunks." | 0:25:54 | 0:25:58 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:00 | 0:26:01 | |
BUZZ! | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
"He pushed aside the clothes, and there, at the back of the wardrobe, | 0:26:03 | 0:26:07 | |
"found a magical land of nipple clamps and lube!" | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
BUZZ! | 0:26:13 | 0:26:14 | |
"There's an Indian in the cupboard! I think he's hiding from Ukip!" | 0:26:16 | 0:26:20 | |
BUZZ! | 0:26:21 | 0:26:22 | |
-Oh, well, come on... -LAUGHTER | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
"I've been in this cupboard for bloody ages!" | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
HUGE LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
BUZZ! | 0:26:31 | 0:26:32 | |
OK, the next topic is... | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
"You've already used your 50-50 to narrow down the options | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
"to A - In or B - Out. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
"Mr Cameron, are you sure you want to ask the audience?" | 0:26:43 | 0:26:47 | |
APPLAUSE, BUZZ! | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
"Well, in that round on sexually transmitted diseases, | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
"you passed on four..." | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
BUZZ! | 0:26:59 | 0:27:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:27:00 | 0:27:01 | |
"We asked you for things that start with an E. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
"You said, 'A great night out with the lads!'" | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
BUZZ! | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
"Welcome to Britain's only quiz about birds of prey. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
"Fingers on buzzards, please." | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
BUZZ! | 0:27:19 | 0:27:20 | |
"Here at The Chase, we just want to reiterate that our Chaser's | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
"not called The Dark Destroyer for any ethnic reasons. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:28 | |
"Now, please could you welcome our new Chaser, | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
"Raj 'The Head Wobbler' Patel!" | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
APPLAUSE, BUZZ | 0:27:33 | 0:27:34 | |
"So, the final round on OAP Quiz is Sudden Death. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:40 | |
"BOO!" | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 | |
BUZZ! | 0:27:43 | 0:27:44 | |
"Welcome to Eggheads. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
"Well, we couldn't call it Smug Pricks, could we?" | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
BUZZ! | 0:27:50 | 0:27:51 | |
"Welcome to Tipping Point, | 0:27:54 | 0:27:55 | |
"for people who are too thick to follow The Chase." | 0:27:55 | 0:27:59 | |
BUZZ! | 0:27:59 | 0:28:00 | |
"Name?" "Keith Vaz. I mean Jim!" | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
"Occupation?" "MP. I mean washing machine salesman!" | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
BUZZ! | 0:28:09 | 0:28:10 | |
"I'm afraid we're going to have to take your first answer, | 0:28:13 | 0:28:16 | |
"so let's see if the capital of Azerbaijan is 'Fucked If I Know'!" | 0:28:16 | 0:28:20 | |
BUZZ! | 0:28:23 | 0:28:24 | |
"Is that your final answer? | 0:28:27 | 0:28:28 | |
"I'll marry someone else, then." | 0:28:30 | 0:28:32 | |
BUZZ! | 0:28:34 | 0:28:35 | |
"Well, at the end of this week's episode of University Challenge, | 0:28:39 | 0:28:42 | |
"the scores are Durham 170, Exeter 145, but of course, | 0:28:42 | 0:28:45 | |
"the real winner is Ivo's dad Hugh at home, who got two questions right | 0:28:45 | 0:28:50 | |
"and is going to bang on about it for the rest of the bloody week!" | 0:28:50 | 0:28:53 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:28:53 | 0:28:55 | |
"Well, we've given the contestants their meth | 0:28:57 | 0:28:59 | |
"and sent them to Hampton Court. Welcome to The Crystal Maze!" | 0:28:59 | 0:29:02 | |
BUZZ! | 0:29:04 | 0:29:05 | |
"My chosen specialised subject? Er, your wife. Yeah, you heard me." | 0:29:07 | 0:29:11 | |
BUZZ! | 0:29:13 | 0:29:14 | |
"I've started so I'll...finish." | 0:29:17 | 0:29:19 | |
BUZZ! | 0:29:21 | 0:29:22 | |
"Well, that was the banker and he says he thinks you're going | 0:29:25 | 0:29:28 | |
"to accept this deal, because in his box is your wife." | 0:29:28 | 0:29:31 | |
BUZZ! | 0:29:33 | 0:29:35 | |
"Well, today, it's Kelly Brook and Joey Essex | 0:29:35 | 0:29:37 | |
"versus Stephens Hawking and Fry. | 0:29:37 | 0:29:40 | |
"This is Fucking Pointless!" | 0:29:40 | 0:29:42 | |
HUGE LAUGHTER | 0:29:42 | 0:29:45 | |
At the end of that round, the points go to Romesh, Ed and Ivo! | 0:29:47 | 0:29:51 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:29:51 | 0:29:53 | |
And that's the end of the show. | 0:29:57 | 0:29:59 | |
This week's winners are Ivo Graham, Ed Byrne and Romesh Ranganathan! | 0:29:59 | 0:30:03 | |
CHEERING | 0:30:03 | 0:30:04 | |
Commiserations to Angela Barnes, Hugh Dennis and Ed Gamble! | 0:30:06 | 0:30:11 | |
CHEERING | 0:30:11 | 0:30:13 | |
Thank you for watching. I'm Dara O Briain. Goodnight. | 0:30:13 | 0:30:16 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:30:16 | 0:30:18 | |
# Read about the things that happen throughout the world | 0:30:19 | 0:30:24 | |
# Don't believe in everything you see or hear | 0:30:25 | 0:30:29 | |
# Read all about it Read all about it | 0:30:31 | 0:30:36 | |
# News of the world News of the world. # | 0:30:36 | 0:30:39 |