Mammy's Mummy Mrs Brown's Boys
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
This programme contains some strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:00:10 | 0:00:11 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys! | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
# She's Mrs Brown | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
# That's Mrs Brown | 0:00:18 | 0:00:21 | |
# Our Mrs Brown. # | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
Hello! | 0:00:29 | 0:00:30 | |
And a very happy Christmas to you. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
Or, if you're Jewish, happy Hanukkah. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
Or if you're a member of a cult... | 0:00:37 | 0:00:38 | |
..the end is nigh! | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
Oh, look, do you like my tree this year? | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
I know it looks odd - Buster got it in a closing-down sale. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
It's electric, look. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
MOTOR WHIRS | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
MOTOR POWERS DOWN | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
It's what I dreamed of for Christmas - | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
a nice tree with swinging balls. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
Oh, look at this now, a dirty nappy. Ugh. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
You just missed Maria - she was here with the babies. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
She dropped in. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
HE SNIFFS | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Urgh! | 0:01:20 | 0:01:21 | |
I smell shit! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
Yes, you do. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:24 | |
Well... | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
I mean it, Grandad. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:28 | |
You smell like something that lives in a pigsty. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:31 | |
And you're like something that fell off the Welsh flag! | 0:01:31 | 0:01:34 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
SHE SIGHS He won't wash himself. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
Safest place to hide something from him is under the soap. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
I've cleaned the house four times today already. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
I'm trying to keep busy, keep my mind off Rory. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
-Hi, Agnes. -Tea, Winnie? -Oh, yes, please. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:59 | |
Any news from the hospital? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:00 | |
No, and it's been four hours. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
I think Rory is mad. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
I mean, he's a fine-looking fella. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
He wasn't happy with the Botox. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
Yeah, but plastic surgery, Agnes - that's going too far. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
-I hope it's not too radical. -Oh... | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
-Morning! -Good morning, Cathy. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
Any news? Rory should be well out of surgery by now. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
Nothing yet. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
What's that banging?! | 0:02:21 | 0:02:22 | |
There's no banging! Go back to sleep! | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Oh... | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
What's wrong with Grandad? | 0:02:25 | 0:02:26 | |
Dermot and Maria took him to a movie last night, | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
some feckin' horror thing. Now he thinks the house is haunted | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
by something that died and won't cross over. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
You're looking in the buckin' mirror! | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
Ner... | 0:02:37 | 0:02:38 | |
-Hey, Granny. -Hello, Bono. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
Look at you, a little fairy. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
-I'm an elf. -Oh, excuse me. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Well, Mammy? Any news from the hospital yet? | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
Nothing yet, and I'm worried. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
There's nothing to be worried about, Mammy. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
Plastic surgery is nothing nowadays. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
-I know someone who died of... -MUFFLED: -..that. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Buster! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
-Do you want a cup of tea, love? -Nah, Mammy. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
Just dropped in to give Grandad his Santa suit. Here, give it to him. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:08 | |
-Our Santa's Grotto opens tomorrow. -Oh. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
I'm on my way down to record a radio ad for it. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
Radio ad? Ah, you're getting very professional. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
-Are you doing it yourself? -Yep. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Well, what does the ad say? | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Drop into Finglas's own wonderland. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
See flying fairies and holly berries. Fairy dust! | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
-Mirth is a must... -Hold, hold it, hold it. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
No, no, son. I'm not feeling it. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
You need to do the actions, you know? | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
You know, you can't just do that. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
-It's on the radio! -HE LAUGHS | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Drop into Finglas's own wonderland! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
See flying fairies and holly berries. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
Fairy dust! Mirth is a must! | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
Come be jolly among the holly. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Where's Bono?! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
Bono? He's here, Betty. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
Dermot Brown, have you gone mad? | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
Taking him out of school to work in your grotto? | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
Whoa-whoa! Relax, Betty - I was home-schooling him. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
Forget it! | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
Bono, go out to the car. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Oh... | 0:04:08 | 0:04:09 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Aww. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
Any news on Rory yet? | 0:04:12 | 0:04:13 | |
No, and the audience thinks you're a bitch. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Fine. See yous later. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
Now we've no elf! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
He's just gone with the ice queen. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:24 | |
I'd better go. We'll think of something, Buster. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
-My God, she can blow in and blow out. -Hi! | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
Oh, Dino. Hello, son. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Well, he's out of surgery | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
and the doctors said everything went very well. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
Oh, mother of God, thank God. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
Now, he said he did have to push the cheekbones... | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
..higher than expected... | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
-MUTTERING: Higher than...? -Mm-hm. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
-..adjust the ears a bit... -What?! | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
-NASALLY: -..flatten the nose... | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
NASALLY: Flatten the nose? Eh? | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
..and plump up the chin. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
-Plump up the chin? -Oh! | 0:05:07 | 0:05:08 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
But, other than that, he expects a full recovery. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
-Oh, thank God. -Mm. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Rory will be out and home tonight. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:22 | |
CHEERING | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
Home? | 0:05:24 | 0:05:25 | |
Dino, why don't you bring Rory back here to stay for a few days? | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
You know, I can keep an eye on him while you're at work. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:31 | |
-Just till he gets better. -That's a good idea, Mrs Brown. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
I think it is, yes. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:36 | |
Right, I'm going back to the hospital. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
Rory's on a liquid diet for the next 24 hours, | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
and he's dying for a grande salted-caramel mocha frappuccino with a shot. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:47 | |
A coffee. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:53 | |
-Well, buckin' say "coffee"! -Oh! | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
Here, I'll go back with you, Dino - | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
I can drop in and see Rory on my way to work. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
Oh, Cathy, how did your computer date go last night? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
-It's tonight! -Oh. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
-I hope he's as handsome as his profile picture. -Ooh! | 0:06:06 | 0:06:09 | |
-Here's Jake. -Oh, Jake? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:14 | |
He is handsome. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
-My God, Cathy, you could be on to a winner there. -Maybe. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:06:19 | 0:06:20 | |
Oh, he's a looker all right, isn't he? | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
Yeah, she's a looker, but, knowing her luck, | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
Jake'll turn out to be a buckin' serial killer. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
-Or worse! -Yeah, married. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
We'll see. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
Tea! | 0:06:39 | 0:06:40 | |
I'm getting it. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
Love is blind. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
Well, nothing like marriage to straighten out your eyesight. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
Well, as they say... | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:06:49 | 0:06:50 | |
-LAUGHING: -What do they say? | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
They say... SHE WHISPERS | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
Yes! | 0:07:04 | 0:07:05 | |
Just relax, relax. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
We can get someone else. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:09 | |
Yeah, knowing her luck, Jake will turn out to be a serial killer. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
Or worse! | 0:07:17 | 0:07:18 | |
Yeah, married. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
You know what they say, | 0:07:20 | 0:07:21 | |
just because a horse looks good doesn't make him a banjo player. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:25 | |
No, Winnie! Nobody says that! | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
-Do they not? -No! | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
-Here you go, Grandad. -Ah. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
-God, that's an odd-looking tree. -Yes. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
Buster got it for me in a closing-down sale. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
Er, what was closing down? | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
-He didn't say. -Oh. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
Here. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:53 | |
MOTOR WHIRS | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
Oh! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:56 | |
Very nice! | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
Get a selfie! Get a selfie! | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
MOTOR POWERS DOWN | 0:08:02 | 0:08:03 | |
What will they think of next? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
What's the coin slot for? | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
I don't know, but Buster said, "Never put coins in the slot." | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
I'll get that. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
Hello, Mrs Brown. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:19 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
WOLF WHISTLING | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
Hello, Father. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:26 | |
Come in, Father. Come in. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
CHEERING | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
Winnie, what are you doing? | 0:08:36 | 0:08:37 | |
Looking for coins. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:38 | |
Ah, you have to put the coins in to see what happens. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Winnie, stop it. I know it's tempting, | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
but Buster said don't, so no. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
Is he here for the exorcism? | 0:08:47 | 0:08:48 | |
No, he's here to rehearse your funeral. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:51 | |
Oh! | 0:08:51 | 0:08:52 | |
Pay no attention to him. What can I do for you, Father? | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
I just popped in to see what time Trevor's flight gets in. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
-I was going to pick him up at the airport. -Six o'clock. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
You're not going to go like that, are you? | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
Oh, gosh, no. I'm just on my way back from the gym. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
Dropped in, you know? | 0:09:10 | 0:09:11 | |
-Working out then, Father? -Oh, yes. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
Look at those abs. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:15 | |
CHEERING | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
Seriously, Mrs Brown... | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
..here, hit me. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
-Oh, no, Father. -Go on! | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
You don't want to do that, Father. No, no. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
-No, no, go on! -Father, you don't want to do that, really. No, no. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
GO ON! HIT ME! | 0:09:32 | 0:09:33 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
Right. Six o'clock it is, then. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
Six o'clock it is. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:48 | |
-Hey, Winnie. -What are you doing, Agnes? Making soup? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
No, Winnie, I'm mixing cement for Donald Trump's wall. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
Well, you're great at that "DYI" stuff. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
Look whose home? | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
Oh, Rory! You're home! | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
Come in and I'll get you lying down comfortable, son. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
Oh, God love you, poor Rory. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
-Now, son, let your head down there. -There we are, Rory. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
I have this, son! | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
-Now... -There we go. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:28 | |
I have it! | 0:10:28 | 0:10:29 | |
Right, then. I'll pop back to our place and get some clothes for Rory. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:35 | |
-You do that. -I'll not be long. -Oh, take your time. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
Do you want your Yin-Yang cream? | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
He has cream for his "Yin-Yang"? | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
It's a conditioner. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:49 | |
He puts conditioner on his "Yin-Yang"?! | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
Shut up, Winnie! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
Rory, love, I'm making you some soup. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:58 | |
Dino said you were on a liquid diet for 24 hours. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:01 | |
I'll just get you some. Winnie, come on. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
HE GROANS | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
HE YAWNS | 0:11:11 | 0:11:14 | |
HIS GROANING INTENSIFIES | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
-HE FARTS -OH! | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
Mummy! Mummy! | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
I'm not your feckin' mummy! | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
HE WHIMPERS | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
-Winnie, keep an eye on Rory. -Right. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
-LOUDLY AND CLEARLY: -How...are...you...feeling...son? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
Win...nie! | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
He...had...plastic...surgery! | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
He didn't turn Chinese. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:11:49 | 0:11:50 | |
Winnie, here, take that. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
All right. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:53 | |
Feckin' kids! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
Was that for me? Is it Jake? | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
No, it's nobody! | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
WINNIE SIGHS | 0:12:07 | 0:12:08 | |
I don't think he likes it, Agnes. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
Winnie, that's his eye. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
I'm sorry, son! | 0:12:14 | 0:12:15 | |
Rory, I'll get you some water. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
DOORBELL | 0:12:19 | 0:12:20 | |
-Winnie, get that door, will you, please? -Right. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
Feck's sake. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:31 | |
It's Cathy's date, Jake. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
Well, bring him in and sit him down, for God's sake. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
Right. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
Move the camera back. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
Right, I'm off. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
See you, Winnie, bye. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Huh! | 0:12:57 | 0:12:58 | |
DOOR SLAMS | 0:12:58 | 0:12:59 | |
Hello, Jake. I'm Cathy's mother, Agnes. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
Pleased to meet you, Mrs Brown. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Pleased to meet you, son. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:05 | |
I'll just tell her you're here. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
CATHY! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
JAKE IS HERE! | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
Would you like a cup of tea, Jake? | 0:13:13 | 0:13:14 | |
Yeah, yeah, thanks very much. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
Cathy is so excited about the date. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
So am I. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
Oh, good. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
Now, son, there you go. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:24 | |
Thank you. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
Er... Sugar? | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
Oh, I'll get it for you. | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
No, no, no, I'll get it myself. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
Oh, good man. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
I'll just go and tell her that you're...you're... | 0:13:53 | 0:13:57 | |
..that you've arrived. | 0:13:58 | 0:13:59 | |
Cathy, love, you look gorgeous. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Oh, thank you. So, what's he like? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
He... | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
He, he's very... | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
-Handsome? -He's very handsome. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
Does he look like he does in his picture? | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
Identical to his picture. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
Cathy, they're...they're lovely high heels. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Would you not wear flat shoes? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
Oh, no, Mammy, I like these. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
Wear flat shoes, please. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:30 | |
CATHY SIGHS | 0:14:30 | 0:14:31 | |
He's not there! | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
Oh, he's there, all right. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
Cathy, look, please wear the flat shoes. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
-Please. -I like these, Mammy. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
MRS BROWN SIGHS | 0:14:43 | 0:14:44 | |
I think I hear my date! | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
Oh, you are beautiful! | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
And you are... | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
Jake. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:04 | |
He is Jake. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
Jake. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
Well, I thought a movie and then maybe a drink or two in Foley's | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
and then let's see what happens, eh? | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
L-L-Let's see what happens! | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
Sure! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
No, hang on. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
Mammy, you wanted me to do that thing tonight. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:28 | |
No. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
Come on, Mammy, remember you said it was important | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
that I stayed in tonight for the...thing. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
Oh... | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
..no. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:40 | |
Fine. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
Goodnight, Mammy. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Goodnight. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:45 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:15:48 | 0:15:49 | |
He-he-he-he! | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
That's nice! | 0:15:52 | 0:15:53 | |
I couldn't get over the size of him. | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
Oh, he's a nice man. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
And good goods come in small packages. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
Well, if he was dating my Sharon, I'd be worried for her. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:07 | |
If he was dating your Sharon, I'd be worried for him. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:13 | |
Jaysus, if Sharon walked down the street with him, people would go, | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
"Oh, there's Sharon McGoogan... | 0:16:16 | 0:16:17 | |
"..with her lunch." | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
So, when the bandages come off, are you going to look like him? | 0:16:23 | 0:16:28 | |
Him? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
What about him? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:37 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:16:37 | 0:16:38 | |
Whoo! | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
Here, Father Damien, is plastic surgery a sin? | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
Er...I don't know. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
I know vanity is a sin. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
Here, Trevor, look at those babies! | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
You done a great job, Marko, the grotto looks brilliant. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
No probs, Dermot. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:17:04 | 0:17:05 | |
We still have no elf, though. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:08 | |
It can't be that hard to get someone. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
All you need is somebody with pointy ears and an attitude. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
You busy, Betty? | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
Feck off, you! | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
Here, did you see the local car wash has closed down? | 0:17:19 | 0:17:22 | |
God, and I thought that place was really busy. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
Apparently somebody stole one of the machine's brushes. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
Must have got clean away. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
-Look at them all. -SHE CHUCKLES | 0:17:39 | 0:17:40 | |
Old enough to drink! | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
Jesus, only seems like yesterday they were all babies. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
Yeah. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
My Sharon has really blossomed. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
She'll be having sex soon. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
What time is her break? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
What can I get you, Cathy? | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
A Prosecco, please. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
And what would YOU like? | 0:18:05 | 0:18:06 | |
My date will have... | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
A pint, please. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:13 | |
Right, a pint. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:14 | |
And a life jacket. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
I'm sorry about that, Jake. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:20 | |
Ah, don't worry, I'm used to it. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
Ah, God, look at Cathy, all grown up. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
And on a little date. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:27 | |
Yeah... | 0:18:27 | 0:18:28 | |
..very little. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
Time flies. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
I remember being pregnant, sitting there, holding me bump, | 0:18:35 | 0:18:40 | |
all excited, waiting to see me little girl. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
Well, you didn't know it was going to be a girl. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
I did! | 0:18:45 | 0:18:46 | |
Winnie, there was no scans in our day. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
I know! But I knew by the way we... you know. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
What? | 0:18:54 | 0:18:55 | |
Well, at the conception, if he's on top, it's going to be a boy. | 0:18:55 | 0:19:00 | |
And if you're on top, it's going to be a girl. | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
Well, in that case, Cathy should be a puppy. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
Does it hurt here? | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
Here? | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
In here? | 0:19:19 | 0:19:21 | |
Well, as far as I can tell, everything seems to be healed well. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
So what now? | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
-Now it's time to remove the bandages. -Oh, Jaysus! | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
TENSE DRUMBEAT | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
HE GASPS | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
Oh! Oh, you're so...beautiful! | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
Right, I'm off, then. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:50 | |
Is it sore, Rory? | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
No, it's not too bad. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:56 | |
Stunning! | 0:19:56 | 0:19:57 | |
Wow. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
I'm sorry, but somebody has to say it. I don't see any difference. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
Ah, no. There is a bit of change. See around here. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
That's just swelling. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
-It will go down. -Oh! | 0:20:10 | 0:20:11 | |
I don't see it. Turn around, show Mammy. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Mammy, what do you think? | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:20:23 | 0:20:24 | |
Well, what do you think, Mammy? | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
Who the fuck are you? | 0:20:34 | 0:20:35 | |
THEY LAUGH AND CHAT | 0:20:40 | 0:20:42 | |
I just told him straight out. I said, "We just don't fit." | 0:20:42 | 0:20:46 | |
But what could you do? I mean, you're so lanky. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
Lanky?! It wasn't MY height. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:52 | |
-It was his. -No, no. I know that. That's what I meant. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
How did he take it? Did he go mad? | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
I was expecting him to be disappointed at least, | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
but, no, he just smiles and says, | 0:21:02 | 0:21:03 | |
"You don't know what you're missing." | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
-Did he storm out? -No, he said he wanted to finish his pint. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
So I said I had to go and just left him there. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:13 | |
DOOR OPENS | 0:21:13 | 0:21:14 | |
Are you right, Grandad? | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
-The kids are waiting for their Santa. Hiya, Mammy. -Hello, Dermot. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
Hello, Dermot. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:21 | |
Dermot, hello. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
Hello. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:27 | |
-How are you, Rory? -Oh, for feck's sake. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:30 | |
- Are you not picking up the boys? - Oh, God, yeah. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:35 | |
And I have a school run to do. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:21:37 | 0:21:39 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:21:51 | 0:21:53 | |
DOOR OPENS | 0:21:53 | 0:21:54 | |
For God's sake. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:55 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:21:57 | 0:21:58 | |
-Hello, again, Jake. -Sorry to bother you, Mrs Brown, | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
but did I leave my bag here yesterday? | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
Cathy, the jockey's back. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
-I left my bag here yesterday. -Oh, yeah, I saw it somewhere. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
Hang on. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:15 | |
OK, Mammy. We're heading off with Grandad. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:21 | |
-Everything ready for the grotto? -Just about. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:22:28 | 0:22:29 | |
All we need is an elf. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
Don't even fuckin' think about it, pal! | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
Come on, Buster. Let's go. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:51 | |
Here you go. Did you come all the way back just for this? | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
-Erm... -Did you get your bag, Jake? | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:05 | |
-Sharon... -You don't know what you missed. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
Little jockey, big whip! | 0:23:12 | 0:23:13 | |
Sharon McGoogan, you come back here! | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
-Stop! -Argh! -What are you doing? | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
Coin slot. I want to see what it does. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
You don't put anything in the slot. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
And that's not a metaphor. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:29 | |
Buster said no coins in the slot. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
-OK. -Rory, love, why don't you go and lie down? | 0:23:36 | 0:23:41 | |
-I'll head back to work, eh? -Fine. -Bye, Mrs Brown. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:45 | |
Bye, Dingo. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:46 | |
-I'm going to lie down. -I'll show you where your bed is. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:55 | |
I know where my bedroom is. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
-Fine. -Fine. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
WHIRRING | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
Oh-ho! | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
HISSING AND GURGLING | 0:24:36 | 0:24:40 | |
-AUTOMATED VOICE: -Drive your car forward. Drive your car forward. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:46 | |
Help! Argh! I can't reach me knob! | 0:24:51 | 0:24:56 | |
Cathy! Aargh! | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
-AUTOMATED VOICE: -Stop your vehicle now. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
For God's sake! | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
MAMMY GIBBERS | 0:25:18 | 0:25:19 | |
It's the ghost! | 0:25:19 | 0:25:20 | |
Grandad! | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
I usually don't mind change. I take to it well. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:33 | |
I remember when my Redser died. I realised I'd be on my own. | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
At the funeral the priest said to me, "This will pass. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
"You'll meet someone else." | 0:25:42 | 0:25:43 | |
I said, "Yes, but what am I going to do tonight?" | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
I know I should just accept Rory's change and move on. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
Rory's always been a bit weird. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
There's a weirdo in every family. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:01 | |
And if you're sitting there at home | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
thinking, "Not mine," it's probably you. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
-Hi, Mammy. -Hello, New Rory. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
-Are you coming down to Foley's for Christmas drinks? -You go on. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:17 | |
-I'll follow you down. -Are you OK, Mammy? | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
-No. -What's wrong? | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
It's you. You're not yourself. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
I miss my Rory. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:27 | |
Look, Mammy. I may have a different face. And a different voice. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:33 | |
And I'm two sizes smaller in my shoes. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
But I'm still your Rory. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:40 | |
What was your favourite TV programme when you were a child? | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
Ah! Blue Peter. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
Why were you only ever at the zoo once? | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
Cos seeing the animals in the cages, they made me cry. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ah! | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
You could have guessed those feckin' answers. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
Say something. | 0:26:58 | 0:26:59 | |
Say something that will convince me that the | 0:26:59 | 0:27:01 | |
Rory I love is in there somewhere. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
Hm. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:07 | |
I love you, Mammy. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ah! | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
I'll see you in Foley's. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:27:15 | 0:27:16 | |
That's my Rory. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:27:27 | 0:27:28 | |
You know, change is a funny thing. Every spring, the clock changes. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:38 | |
Every autumn, the trees change their leaves. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
And every winter, Grandad changes his underwear. | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 | |
We have a little ceremony to burn the old ones. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
I suppose the main thing is that Rory is whomever he wants to be. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:52 | |
And that takes confidence. And confidence is very important. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:57 | |
He gets that from his mother. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:00 | |
I'll see you at Foley's. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:28:04 | 0:28:05 | |
SONG: Mistletoe And Wine | 0:28:09 | 0:28:10 | |
# The child is a king The carollers sing | 0:28:10 | 0:28:15 | |
# The old has passed There's a new beginning | 0:28:15 | 0:28:20 | |
# Dreams of Santa Dreams of snow | 0:28:20 | 0:28:25 | |
# Fingers numb Faces aglow | 0:28:26 | 0:28:31 | |
# It's Christmas time Mistletoe and wine | 0:28:31 | 0:28:36 | |
# Children singing Christian rhymes | 0:28:37 | 0:28:42 | |
# With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree | 0:28:42 | 0:28:48 | |
# A time to rejoice in the good that we see | 0:28:48 | 0:28:52 | |
# A time for giving A time for getting | 0:28:53 | 0:28:58 | |
# A time for forgiving and for forgetting | 0:28:58 | 0:29:03 | |
# Christmas is love Christmas is peace | 0:29:03 | 0:29:09 | |
# A time for hating and fighting to cease | 0:29:09 | 0:29:14 | |
# Christmas time Mistletoe and wine | 0:29:14 | 0:29:19 | |
# Children singing Christian rhymes | 0:29:19 | 0:29:24 | |
# With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree | 0:29:24 | 0:29:30 | |
# A time to rejoice in the good that we see | 0:29:30 | 0:29:34 | |
# With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree | 0:29:36 | 0:29:41 | |
# A time to rejoice in the good that we see. # | 0:29:41 | 0:29:47 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:29:48 | 0:29:51 | |
-Merry Christmas! -Happy Christmas! | 0:29:57 | 0:29:58 |