Mammy of the Groom Mrs Brown's Boys
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Transcript
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This programme contains some strong language. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:10 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:00:10 | 0:00:11 | |
Ladies and gentlemen... | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys. | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
# She's Mrs Brown | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
# That's Mrs Brown | 0:00:18 | 0:00:21 | |
# Oh, Mrs Brown. # | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
Hello! Ha-ha-ha! | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Well, it's my son Dermot and Maria's wedding this week... | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
Everybody's so excited. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
Cathy is worried about fitting into that dress so she's going to her aerobics. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:39 | |
Yeah, aero... that's a made-up name. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:42 | |
I think the gym owners said, "We'd better call it something fancy, | 0:00:42 | 0:00:46 | |
"cos they won't pay if we just call it feckin' jumping up and down." | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:00:49 | 0:00:53 | |
Ow! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:54 | |
Sorry...a bit distracted, it's not just the wedding, | 0:00:54 | 0:00:58 | |
it's Dermot's reaction to it. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
Dermot doesn't take stress well. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
When his father died, he went into the wardrobe in his bedroom and didn't come out for two weeks! | 0:01:02 | 0:01:07 | |
Hiya, Mammy. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:08 | |
Hello, son. Would you like a cup of tea? | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
Yeah, Mammy. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:12 | |
-A penny for your thoughts, love. -Just thinking about me getting married! | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
Do you see what I mean? | 0:01:18 | 0:01:19 | |
My God, it's hard to believe you'll soon have children of your own to worry about. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:26 | |
And after the way you treated me, I hope they break your feckin' heart! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:31 | |
Do you remember being pregnant on me? | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
Ha-ha. Do I remember? | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
I'll never forget it, son. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
Me arse was as wide as the arrivals gate in Dublin Airport! | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
-What were you hoping I'd be? -Your father's! LAUGHTER | 0:01:42 | 0:01:47 | |
Seriously? | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
Don't be a feckin' idiot, of course not! | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
Your arrival was a big event in my life. I'll never forget it... | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
12 pounds, 8 ounces you were. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
They couldn't even get you with the forceps. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
At one point I thought they were going for a tow truck and a rope! | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
22 stitches I had. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:04 | |
I could walk down both sides of Grafton Street at the same time. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:09 | 0:02:10 | |
I'll never forget it. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
-A beautiful, sunny Tuesday! -Saturday! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
Saturday! Saturday, yeah! | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
In July. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:18 | |
-September. -September, yeah! | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Which feckin' one are you? LAUGHTER | 0:02:20 | 0:02:24 | |
-No, it was lovely and the nurses in Galway were so nice. -I thought I was born in Dublin. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:28 | |
No, Galway. It would have been Dublin only your father wanted to stay for the last race! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
I don't think I'm ready to be a parent. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
For feck's sake, son, none of us are! | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
Any parent will tell you. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:39 | |
You're an amateur parent with an amateur child, | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
and just when you have the job right... | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
..they marry someone and leave. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Yeah, well... | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
Mammy, don't worry, I'll never be far away. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
Don't you feckin' threaten me, son! | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
-Good morning! -Morning, Rory! -Morning, Mammy! -Hello, love! | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
Dermot, getting nervous yet? | 0:03:04 | 0:03:05 | |
-Stop, stop it! -Leave me alone! | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
Rory, have you and Dino decided which girls you're going to be bringing to the wedding? | 0:03:07 | 0:03:12 | |
Er, no. Listen, I have to dash. I'll see you later. Bye-bye! | 0:03:14 | 0:03:18 | |
He's in a feckin' hurry! | 0:03:19 | 0:03:20 | |
-Mammy, Rory's not bringing a girl to the wedding. -Why not? | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
Mammy, what if I turn out like me dad? | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
You and Rory need to talk. He's not into women. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
-What are you saying? -I said, "What if I turn out like me dad?" | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
No, not you, love, Cathy. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:32 | |
I heard what you said! You won't. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
Rory is...a friend of Dorothy's. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
Can't he bring Dorothy to the wedding, then? LAUGHTER | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
Wouldn't that be all right? | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
I have to go. Mammy, we'll talk later. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
What if I become an alcoholic? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
Your father wasn't an alcoholic. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
We couldn't afford that. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
He was a drunk! | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
Yeah, I know what you mean, yes. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Well, marriage is not just all about sex. Now that's what I say. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
Yes... Oh, you're so right! | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
Oh, listen, I remember when one night himself... | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
oh, he went...he went from one o'clock in the morning till quarter past two! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:21 | |
Yeah. No, well, it was the night that the clocks went forward! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
-Mammy, for God's sake! -Oh, hold on. What, Cathy? | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
Just order the pizza! | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
So that's a... | 0:04:37 | 0:04:38 | |
a deep pan Hawaiian, a pepperoni and a side order of garlic bread. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:43 | |
All right, thank you! | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
Mammy, sit down for a second. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
What, Cathy? | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
Look at this. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
I want you to take a little time to read this. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
What is it? | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
Homosexuality And Me. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
I want you to read it, Mammy. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:06 | |
I want you to look around you for signs and then we'll have a talk. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:10 | |
Signs? What kind of signs? | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
Read it...and then we'll talk. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:13 | |
I wish you'd tell me what this is all about. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
G'day, g'day! | 0:05:21 | 0:05:22 | |
Hello, son! | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
Oh, do you smell wedding cake? | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
-I smell wedding cake! Do you smell wedding cake? -Don't, Mammy. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
Maria standing there in a beautiful white gown, think about that! | 0:05:29 | 0:05:33 | |
Stop, Ma, not now! | 0:05:33 | 0:05:34 | |
I'm only getting excited. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
I'd love to be a feckin' kangaroo. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
I'd have had 12 children if I could have matured them in me handbag! | 0:05:40 | 0:05:44 | |
-Do you want a cup of tea, love? -No, thanks, Ma. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
I'm fine, it's just... | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
everything's happening so fast. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
I feel... | 0:05:55 | 0:05:56 | |
Doesn't matter. Never mind. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
I can't believe your boss made you hop around the week you're getting married! | 0:05:59 | 0:06:03 | |
He didn't ask me, I wanted to. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:06 | |
I'm going for me bath. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:07 | |
Make sure to wash your Joey! SHE LAUGHS | 0:06:07 | 0:06:12 | |
Dermot! Can I just say something? | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
SHE CLICKS LIKE SKIPPY | 0:06:16 | 0:06:17 | |
I'm off, Mammy! | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
I'll see you, love. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:22 | |
-And, Mammy, read the book! -I will. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
How are you, Mrs Brown? Is Dermot here? | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
Dermot! | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
There's a gobshite down here looking for you! | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
And me! | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:38 | 0:06:42 | |
So how's your speech coming along? | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
I'm still trying to pronounce me haitches more. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
Your best man's speech for the wedding! | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
The best man's speech is the highlight of the reception! | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
Really?! | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
You didn't know you'd to make a speech at the wedding?! | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
No. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:02 | |
-I suppose I'll just make something up on the day. -No, you won't! | 0:07:03 | 0:07:07 | |
Jacko was our best man and he did that and loads of crap came out. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:12 | |
-You will not. You'll write a speech before the wedding and you'll run it past me first. Are we clear? -Yeah! | 0:07:12 | 0:07:17 | |
I'd die if Dermot's marriage was a repeat of my own. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:21 | |
That man feckin' ruined our wedding! | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
Right, Mrs Brown... | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
will you tell Dermot to follow me down to Foley's? | 0:07:32 | 0:07:35 | |
I've some thinking to do. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Yes, you have. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
Holy God! | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
Cathy's a lesbian. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
What?! | 0:07:58 | 0:07:59 | |
Cathy. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
It explains a lot. She's a lesbian! | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
But what about Mick the boyfriend? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
He must be a lesbian, too! | 0:08:06 | 0:08:07 | |
Mick is a homo? | 0:08:10 | 0:08:11 | |
Winnie, the book says you can't say that. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
It's not politically correct. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:15 | |
What do you say, then? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
I don't know. Queer, I think. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:18 | |
Right so! | 0:08:20 | 0:08:21 | |
Now goodnight, folks. Come on. You got no homes to go to? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:25 | |
Agnes, what does the book say is the signs of being a lesbian? | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
"There will be a noticeable absence of men in her life." | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
That's very vague, Agnes. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
Sure, your husband's dead and my Jacko's always in hospital! | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
Jesus, that's true! | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Well, here... | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
"The closest person to her will be another woman | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
"and it will become apparent that she feels she cannot be without that woman." | 0:08:47 | 0:08:52 | |
Again, Agnes, that could be anyone. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
Sure, that could be me or you! | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
What does the book say... | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
..lesbians do together? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
Does it mention bingo? | 0:09:12 | 0:09:13 | |
-We'd better move. -Yeah! | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
I'm going to go home, ring Jacko at the hospital, and have phone sex. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
He'll be asleep, for God's sake! | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Well, I'll leave a message then. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
Listen, I'm going to pay Mr Foley for the drink he's leaving at the house. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
-Right. -You go on ahead. -Goodnight then, love. -Goodnight. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
-Goodnight, love. -Yeah. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
-Mr Foley. -Hello. -That's the stuff we need and there's a few bob. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
Two dozen lager, two dozen stout, case of wine, assorted spirits... | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
-half a dozen Babycham? -Rory! -Oh... | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
-I'll tot it up! -Thanks very much. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
-What about this? -Jesus Christ! | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
You were that close to death! | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
Ahem. "What is the story, everybody?" | 0:10:19 | 0:10:23 | |
No, no... that's, | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
"Ladies and gentleman and Reverend Father..." | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
-It's his best man's speech. -Oh! | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
"Ladies and gentlemen and Reverend Father... | 0:10:31 | 0:10:34 | |
"..the first time me and Dermot went shoplifting..." | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
Scratch that! | 0:10:38 | 0:10:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
My Dermot never went shoplifting! | 0:10:42 | 0:10:43 | |
He did! | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
Of course he didn't... | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
What about this? | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
-"Me and Dermot met in a private school..." -Yeah, that's nice! | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
-"..recommended by a judge." -LAUGHTER | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
-NO! -It's funny but, isn't it? -No! It's not funny! | 0:11:00 | 0:11:05 | |
What did Dermot think of this effort? | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
He didn't come down to Foley's. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
I tried to call him but his phone's turned off. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
Good luck! | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
It doesn't take two and a half hours to have a bath. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
Maybe he went out to Maria's. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
-Thanks very much, Mr Foley. -There you go. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
Huh, kids. What are you going to do, hey? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
-Hey. Well, with our Nicole we're really lucky. -Ah, that's nice. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
No, no, she's good as gold... I'll tell you now, hey, Josh and Oliver... | 0:11:27 | 0:11:31 | |
Mr Foley... Agnes fuckin' bored now. Goodnight! | 0:11:31 | 0:11:35 | |
KNOCKING | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
Is there anything I can do? Anything that will cheer you up? | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
No! Just leave me alone, Mammy! | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
-You don't have to get married! -I want to! -Then what's wrong? | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
I just need to think. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
That's what you said when your father died. You didn't come out for two feckin' weeks! | 0:11:50 | 0:11:55 | |
And we don't have two weeks, Dermot. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
Hiya, Mammy! | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
Dermot's in the cupboard again! | 0:12:01 | 0:12:02 | |
KNOCKING | 0:12:04 | 0:12:05 | |
-Hiya, Dermot! -Hiya, Cathy. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
-Do you want tea? -No, thanks. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
-Do you want tea, Mammy? -Yes, I've made some. It's on the table. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
You're breaking your mother's heart! | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:18 | 0:12:22 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
Dermot? | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
The man is here about the wedding video! | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
Mammy, did you read the book? | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
-Yes. -Well? -Is it you? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:43 | |
What?! No. For God's sake, Mammy! | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
Well, I've been looking for signs but everywhere I look, I see signs! | 0:12:45 | 0:12:50 | |
Listen... | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
"Many people will have a homosexual experience while in prison." | 0:12:52 | 0:12:56 | |
Dermot was in prison. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
Is that why he's in the cupboard? So he can... | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
"Come out"? | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
Mammy! No, it's not Dermot. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
Well, now, | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
"The homosexual will try on many occasions to give the family hints or signs." | 0:13:08 | 0:13:15 | |
You gave me the book. Are you sure it's not you? | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
No! If it was me, I'd tell you! | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
There you are. It's not you or Dermot, | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
-I know it's not Mark, and Trevor's celibate. -Which only leaves? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
It's me! | 0:13:28 | 0:13:30 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:30 | 0:13:31 | |
Waaah! | 0:13:31 | 0:13:32 | |
-No, it's not you, Mammy! For God's sake. -Thank Jesus! | 0:13:33 | 0:13:38 | |
Think about who you left out. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:39 | |
-Rory?! -Exactly. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
Don't be ridiculous. If it was Rory, he'd have tried to tell me. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
Hiya, Agnes, love. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
Sit down, Winnie. I want to tell you something. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
Jesus, Agnes. What's wrong? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Rory is homosexual. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
I know, but what's wrong? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:07 | 0:14:09 | |
What do you mean, you feckin' know?! | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
Agnes, everyone knows! | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
Why didn't you say that in the pub? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Cos I thought you were looking for lesbians! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
Feckin' idiot. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
"Even the police who arrested us love Dermot..." | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Get out! Out! | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
Here, Do you want me to do anything for the wedding, pet? | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
-No, no, we're all set. -It'll be a great day, Agnes! -Yeah. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
Even though you are losing Dermot. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
Another one gone, what? | 0:14:36 | 0:14:37 | |
Look, I should go. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I have to get across to the hospital with them clothes for Jacko. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
-He's coming out for the wedding! -Of course he is. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
Everything's free! | 0:14:47 | 0:14:48 | |
You know, I have to get two buses across to that hospital. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
-Two buses over and two buses back? Four buses? -Yeah! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
Twice a day? Eight buses. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
Seven days a week, fifty six buses! | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
-Yeah! -If the man had any decency, he'd fuckin' die! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
-Agnes! -LAUGHTER | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
I'm only joking! | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
It's not a bypass he needs, it's a bus pass! | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:13 | 0:15:15 | |
Well, thank God he's coming home tomorrow! | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
Yes. I'll tell the bus company, | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
they can let some staff go! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
So, Father... | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
busy? | 0:15:30 | 0:15:31 | |
Well, er... | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
No, not too bad. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
-This time of year tends to be quiet. -Oh! DOORBELL RINGS | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
It's open! | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
I'm so sorry I'm late, Mrs Brown... | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
Oh, hello, Father Quinn. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
-Where's Dermot? -Yes, Mrs Brown, where IS Dermot? | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
He's in the cupboard! | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
-The cupboard? -Are you OK, Dermot? | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
Yes, love! | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
Right, then... | 0:15:56 | 0:15:57 | |
-let's begin. -But the groom is in the cupboard. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
How can we have a pre-marriage talk with him in there? | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
-Did you hear that, Dermot? -Yes! | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
He can hear you, Father. Go ahead! | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Well... | 0:16:08 | 0:16:09 | |
You two, having declared your intention to marry, | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
will be asked on the wedding day to make certain vows, | 0:16:13 | 0:16:17 | |
now, not just to each other but to the Lord Almighty himself. Now, do you understand this? | 0:16:17 | 0:16:22 | |
-Yes. -What vows? | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
Well, to bring your children up as strong and Christian soldiers. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
Are we expecting a war, Father? LAUGHTER | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
And you know the church's stance on contraception and divorce? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:35 | |
Yes, and you need to cop on. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
Look, Father, if you don't play the game, don't make the feckin' rules! | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
Mrs Brown! | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
Father, marriages aren't made in heaven, they're made here in Finglas, | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
or in Birmingham, or Liverpool, or New York. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
And it's tough. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
You fight with each other, you love each other | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
-and sometimes you'll feckin' hate each other. -But with God's help... | 0:16:58 | 0:17:02 | |
Ah, "With God's help..." | 0:17:02 | 0:17:03 | |
God'll help you stay sane, the rest is up to you! | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
It's about respect and learning to love! | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
Yes, and children! Learning to love your children, no matter what. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
Whether they go to prison, or lock themselves in a feckin' cupboard, | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
or even if they're homosexual. Am I right, Father? | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
-Well, er...homosexual is a bit... -LAUGHTER | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
And if you get it right, and I think these two have got it right... | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
Oh, Maria, | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
you can be happy. Happier than you ever thought possible. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
There's your pre-marriage chat, Maria... | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
Do you have anything to add to that, Father? | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
No. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:38 | |
-Not a thing. -Thank you, Father. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:41 | |
Goodnight and God bless you. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
-KNOCKING -Goodnight, Dermot. -Father, you're talking to the ironing board now. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:53 | 0:17:54 | |
-KNOCKING -Goodnight, Dermot. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
Goodnight, Father. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:58 | |
Rory... | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
I want to talk to you... about your illness. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
-Mammy, it's not an illness! -Well, it's not normal! | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
Mammy! | 0:18:15 | 0:18:16 | |
Fine. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
Rory... | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
what I'm trying to say is... | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
you are what you are. Whatever you are, I will always be your mother. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:27 | |
And I want you to know that it doesn't matter how far we are apart, | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
or long we are apart, I will always be here waiting... | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
with a loving heart. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:35 | |
-Awww! -It's nice, isn't it? -Yeah. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
I read it on a card! | 0:18:38 | 0:18:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
May you rest in peace. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
Mammy! | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
Sorry. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:49 | |
Rory, what I am trying to say is... | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
have you ever considered that you might be...homosexual? | 0:18:53 | 0:18:58 | |
Now, I know this comes as a bit of a shock. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
And you probably want to think about it, but here's a book. Here! | 0:19:03 | 0:19:08 | |
That'll explain everything, | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
except why Cathy hasn't got a boyfriend even though she's not lesbian or gay. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:14 | |
Mammy! | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
Sorry. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
Thanks, Mammy. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
Oh, you're hurting Mammy now! | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
OK, erm... | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
-I'd better go and...read. -Do, love. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
Well, Mammy, I thought you handled that very well. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
It wasn't easy, it was difficult. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
I hope Rory never has to have that talk with any of his own children. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
Dermot, love... | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
-your wedding suit is here. -I don't care! | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
You should go up and have a bath for the big day tomorrow. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
No. Go away. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
Cathy, what are we going to do? | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
The wedding's tomorrow and we won't all fit in that fuckin' cupboard! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
Mrs Brown, I think I have it this time... | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
Lovely. Leave it on the table, Buster. I'll read it later. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:23 | |
God, Buster, you look exhausted! | 0:20:23 | 0:20:25 | |
I am, Cathy, I haven't slept for two days. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
Well, you want to sleep tonight. We need you fresh tomorrow! | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
Don't worry. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
-Hold on, Buster. -Yeah? -Read this to Mammy and see what she thinks. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:37 | |
-Leave it there. I'll read it later. -No, Mammy. Listen now. Sit down. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:40 | |
Here, Buster... | 0:20:40 | 0:20:41 | |
Read! | 0:20:41 | 0:20:43 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT | 0:20:48 | 0:20:49 | |
"Ladies and gentlemen and the Reverend Father." | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
Yeah, very well done, well done. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
"Can you believe that Dermot Brown is married? | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
"And to such a beautiful girl." | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
From there. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:03 | |
But you're skipping me joke about the camel, the nun and the coconut! | 0:21:05 | 0:21:08 | |
We'll live... read! | 0:21:08 | 0:21:12 | |
Let's hope the camel does. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
"I don't know why Dermo picked me to be his best friend... | 0:21:14 | 0:21:19 | |
"but I'm really glad he did. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
"All I ever wanted to be when I grew up was Dermot Brown. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
"He's the one who makes you laugh | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
"even when you're in prison." | 0:21:32 | 0:21:33 | |
I'll take that out. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
"I don't know why, but someone, somewhere looked down on me and thought... | 0:21:40 | 0:21:47 | |
"'that eejit needs a guardian angel'... | 0:21:47 | 0:21:50 | |
"..and they sent Dermot Brown." | 0:21:54 | 0:21:56 | |
I'm going up for me bath! | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
So, what do you want changed? | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
Nothing. I think it's absolutely perfect, Buster. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
Oh, yes! | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
HE SNORES | 0:22:16 | 0:22:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
So, Winnie, Jacko's blind now, is he? | 0:22:26 | 0:22:30 | |
It was his own fault, Agnes. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:31 | |
He was dying for a cigarette as soon as he got out of that hospital! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
If only he'd taken off the oxygen mask! | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
Yeah. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
Whooooo! Wah-hey! | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
God, I'd nearly go straight myself! | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
-Really?! -No! | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
Not even Father Quinn will be safe today! | 0:22:51 | 0:22:54 | |
Shag off! | 0:22:54 | 0:22:55 | |
Well, well, Cathy. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
You look different! | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
-So what do you think, Mammy? -I think you've never looked more beautiful. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
Mammy, that's the suit from Marcelle's window. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
-Isn't it beautiful? -You couldn't afford that. Where did you get it? | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
It was a surprise, I came out of the shower and someone left it on the bed for me! | 0:23:15 | 0:23:19 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
Grandad, you can't go like that! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:31 | |
Ma, Grandad's stripped again! | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
Oh, for God's sake, Cathy. I thought I told you to dress him! | 0:23:33 | 0:23:37 | |
Yeah, Mammy, twice already. He keeps taking off the suit! | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
Well, go back up and put it on him. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
And staple the feckin' thing to him if you have to! | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
Well, at least he's wearing more than Cathy! | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
Careful, Winnie, you'll end up having a meal through a tube beside Jacko. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:54 | |
"Ladies and gentlemen and the Reverend Father..." | 0:23:55 | 0:23:59 | |
Yeah! We've heard it before. Get out! | 0:23:59 | 0:24:01 | |
Here, Agnes... | 0:24:03 | 0:24:04 | |
remember the excitement the morning of my wedding? | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
I do. Sure, mine was the same! | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
I remember standing on the altar and the priest looked at me and he said, | 0:24:09 | 0:24:12 | |
"Agnes, do you take... | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
"this...to be your lawfully wedded husband?" | 0:24:14 | 0:24:18 | |
And I remember, I looked into Jacko's eyes and I whispered, "I do". | 0:24:18 | 0:24:24 | |
I remember, I looked into Redser's eyes and I said, | 0:24:24 | 0:24:28 | |
"I'll see." | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
Here, you had that Father... | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
-Oh, what was his name? -Oh, erm... | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
-Father McCrum! -Right, Agnes, McCrum. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
And in his deep voice, he said, | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
-"I now pronounce you man and wife!" -Yes... | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
-and then me waters broke! -Yeah! | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:46 | 0:24:49 | |
Well, someone's having a good time! | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
-Hello! -Hiya! -We were just over at Maria's... | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
-She looks stunning! -Does she? -And her hair's only fabulous! | 0:24:54 | 0:24:58 | |
Of course! | 0:24:58 | 0:24:59 | |
OK, everybody. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
It's the big moment. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
Ladies and gentlemen... Dermot Brown! | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
THEY CHEER | 0:25:07 | 0:25:10 | |
Oh, my God, Dermot... | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
-you look amazing! -Thanks, Mammy! | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
It only feels like yesterday I was bathing you... | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
It was yesterday! | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
Dermot, son... | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
I've never told you that I'm proud of you. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
Right. LAUGHTER | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
Let's get down to the church and get this thing feckin' started! | 0:25:34 | 0:25:38 | |
Get the flowers! Get the flowers! | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
I'll get the feckin' flowers! | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
Well, that's that then... | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
Another one gone. Huh! | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
It's always difficult for a mother when another one leaves the nest. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:59 | |
But that's our job, you know, | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
to get them ready to go out into the mad, mad world on their own. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:05 | |
It'll be strange to look into Dermot's bedroom and just see an empty bed... | 0:26:07 | 0:26:12 | |
and a stack of dirty magazines! LAUGHTER | 0:26:12 | 0:26:15 | |
-Mammy! -Dermot? | 0:26:15 | 0:26:16 | |
Is there any chance Maria and me can stay here for a while, | 0:26:16 | 0:26:20 | |
just until we get a place of our own? | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
Of course. You and Maria can stay here for as long as you like. As long as you feckin' like! | 0:26:22 | 0:26:26 | |
Thanks, Ma. That's a load off me mind. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:30 | |
It's a load off my mind! | 0:26:30 | 0:26:31 | |
DOOR SHUTS | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
Will I ever get feckin' rid of them? | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
I'll see you, goodbye! | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
# Say hello | 0:26:43 | 0:26:44 | |
# To the queen of Dublin Town | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
# As the best | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
# Mum of all she wears the crown | 0:26:50 | 0:26:55 | |
# A mother hen watching all her chicks | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
# Sassy old lady full of tricks | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down | 0:27:01 | 0:27:07 | |
# Say hello | 0:27:07 | 0:27:10 | |
# To the queen of Dublin Town | 0:27:10 | 0:27:14 | |
# As the best | 0:27:14 | 0:27:15 | |
# Mum of all she wears the crown | 0:27:15 | 0:27:20 | |
# A mother hen watching all her chicks | 0:27:20 | 0:27:22 | |
# Sassy old lady full of tricks | 0:27:22 | 0:27:26 | |
# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down | 0:27:26 | 0:27:32 | |
-# She's Mrs Brown -Agnes | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
-# That's Mrs Brown -Agnes | 0:27:34 | 0:27:37 | |
-# That's Mrs Brown -Agnes... # | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
Email [email protected] | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 |