Episode 2 My Favourite Joke

Coming up, Britain's best loved comedians reveal

who gets their chuckle muscles working over-time.

A mad man!

The face of every married man when he wakes up in the morning he goes oh, oh, oh!

Anger plus a sense of humour. You can't beat that.

From stand-up routines to sketches and classic sitcoms

they're letting us in on their all-time favourite jokes

and their love, envy and sheer admiration for the star performers behind them.

He could have been a star at any time.

Biggest reaction I've ever seen in my life.

It's funny, it's poignant... the characters are absolutely perfect!

So dust off your laughing gear, hold onto your armchairs

and buckle up for a raucous ride into the land of comedy!

I nearly got sick laughing at Lucille Ball's show.

Just wonderful.

If you'd never heard of Lee Evans

and I had to describe him in one sentence

I would probably use a combination of the following words.

Funny,

sweaty,

manic,

brilliant,

pliable,

sweaty, which I think I used once already

but he'd be sweating again by now and unique.

Lee Evans's unique blend of physical comedy and observational gags

have made him the UK's biggest selling arena comedian of all time.

When I first saw Lee perform live

it was probably in the early part of the '90s.

Suddenly there was someone doing something very different, radically different.

I don't think he gets the credit or the plaudits he deserves for that.

He was basically doing old-fashioned slapstick,

old-fashioned clowning, for a modern audience, in a brilliant way.

Lee could have been a star at any time in the history of entertainment.

I mean, he's basically Henry VIII's court jester playing an arena today.

Lee was one of the comedians that made me want to go into comedy.

Watching him with my mum and my sister

and just all three of us crying with laughter at his routines,

was really inspiring.

But like all great performers Lee Evans leaves the best till last!

The problem that someone like Lee has performing live

is that the show's so big all the way through

it's so physical, so visual, so in your face,

how does he end it?

And then the first time I saw him do Bohemian Rhapsody I thought "That's it."

# Mama

# Just killed a man

# Put a gun against his head

# Pulled my trigger now he's dead... #

Lee Evans' Bohemian Rhapsody,

has got to be the all time best encore. You cannot go wrong.

You can't top it. It's a show stopper.

#... thrown it all away... #

I use to compere at The Comedy Store

when it was in Leicester Square

and I remember the first time I put Lee Evans on

and he did an amazing set, absolutely brilliant.

Got an encore and people don't often get encores at The Comedy Store very, very rarely.

And he starts doing the mime to Bohemian Rhapsody

and he's already dripping with sweat.

# Too late

# My time is come

# Sends shivers down my spine... #

And it's just the biggest reaction I've ever seen to a thing in my life, they stood up.

It was kind of a well-known thing amongst comedians at the time

that nobody could follow Lee

if he did that at the end

because it was impossible to, sort of, get the room back.

So, if you found out Lee was on the bill,

you made sure you went on before him.

# Got to leave you all behind and face... #

What's brilliant is you know what's coming next

because the song is so familiar you know the next line

so part of you is wondering how's he going to interpret that?

It's a joy the first time he does it. The bit when the baby's born

and kicks it like a football. Brilliant.

# I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all... #

It's a really interesting thing to see him do that

with a big crowd. It's a really wonderful, communal experience.

# I see a little silhouetto of a man

# Scaramouche, Scaramouche Will you do the Fandango? #

No-one manages to combine kind of old-fashioned, almost slapstick

clowning, physical falling over,

odd movements, odd gestures, odd shapes with his body

with clever, well-observed material about family, about life

about men and women, about his home and about situations.

I don't think anyone brings it together as well as that

that's why he's the best at what he does.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

I first started watching it when I was sort of a teenager

and it would be on in the background

and like most teenagers anything that seemed vaguely old-fashioned,

you sort of erred away from.

You were like, well this is not, you know.

It had that sort of bleakness to it, but it was when I revisited it

possibly the second time, when I was into my twenties,

that I suddenly thought, "this is really well written, this is great."

There was this woman at the pub. They all said,

"Oh, whatever you do, don't give her a lift home. She'll interfere with you."

You know, she was supposed to interfere with you while you were driving...

so I gave her a lift home.

What happened?

Nothing, she was a washout!

It's funny, it's poignant,

the characters are absolutely perfect.

Rising Damp was as close to perfection as you get,

in British situation comedy.

Everyone goes on about Fawlty Towers and it WAS good

and it did change things but Rising Damp...

Rising Damp was ITV's biggest sitcom in the '70s.

It made a house hold man of Leonard Rossiter the miserly landlord

who delighted us with his hopeless attempts to woo Miss Jones.

You never stop liking all of the characters no matter how appallingly they behave

especially Leonard Rossiter, who appears to be

mean, prejudiced, a bit seedy and lascivious, sort of crafty

and all those things but you still root for him,

which I think is the key to a great sit-com character.

Rising Damp's best loved scene came in the first series

and featured Rigsby's most desperate attempt to seduce Miss Jones.

In my country, if a man was in your position,

he'd get the wood of the love tree.

He would burn it

outside the girl's house

and when she smelt the smoke

she would appear at the door,

he'd look deep into her eyes and she would fall in love with him.

-Just like that?

-Just like that...

The way that the audience

would know what he was thinking

and what he was about to do.

It takes ages for him to actually ask about the love wood

but you see it dawning on his face.

Haven't got any of this wood, have you?

He's always lusting after women,

which is quite a tough thing for a man to pull off in a sitcom,

before women start thinking "you're a bit creepy"

but it never slides into creepy.

It just stays on the right side of him being a little bit frustrated

that he can't get anyone to sleep with him, especially Miss Jones.

-What on Earth's that?

-This is a piece of wood.

Well, I can see that, Mr Rigsby.

Stop wafting it around you'll start a fire!

I'll start a fire all right, Miss Jones.

-Haven't you noticed anything yet?

-Yes, the most appalling smell...

It's no ordinary wood. It's special. Breathe in, go on. See what happens.

I don't know what you've got in mind, but nothing's going to happen!

Give way to it, girl, don't fight it, give way to it!

Rossiter was an extraordinarily proficient comedy performer

just because his movements, the way he spoke.

I believe he would say, before he went on stage,

"It's not a very good script this week but watch this,"

and his performance would elevate it to another level.

Please extinguish your stick!

I'm sorry but this is one fire you can't quench, Miss Jones.

We'll soon see about that!

Here's how influential Leonard Rossiter was.

I saw Robert Lindsay in Richard III.

I think it was at The Savoy about ten years ago

and he came on and he went,

"Now is the winter of our discontent...

"Oh, yeah."

And I'm there...!

"Made glorious summer by this sun of York... oh, yeah..."

And I'm like, you're doing Rigsby!

The final ever episode of Rising Damp hit our screens in 1978

and after four series of romantic advances

Rigsby's love wood finally came good.

I came here this evening with the ridiculous idea

of asking you to marry me.

I know you weren't expecting it,

and it's preposterous but that's what I'm doing.

Will you marry me? What's your answer?

-Yes!

-Yes, exactly what I thought! I knew I wasted my time!

I suppose I'm not good enough! I don't care. Forget it!

There, I never want to see the ring again!

-I knew you wouldn't accept me!

-But I am accepting you!

-Please don't try and stop me, Miss Jones!

-I'm not!

I knew you wouldn't. I only hope that someday

if you find somebody you feel about the way I... the way I...

What did you say Miss Jones? Would you say that again?

I said I will marry you.

-Oh, Miss Jones!

-Mr Rigsby!

It was the essential seventies sitcom

because it had everything in it, everything was dealt with

and everybody could watch it and it was intelligent.

One of those sitcoms that people in 20 years' time

will go "that was actually really good."

Sam Kinison is probably not a well-known name in Britain

expect perhaps amongst comedians.

He was very influential in the, kind of, changing the sonic scape

of stand-up in America.

I'm a little different than the other comics you're going to see.

The difference between me and them

is that you might want to see them again sometime.

Sam Kinison exploded onto the stand-up scene

in Texas in the mid-eighties,

thrilling audiences with his decidedly confrontational style.

He was the ultimate rock and roll comedian, who lived fast

and died young.

I first saw Sam Kinison in some clubs around Los Angeles

when I was living there and doing stand-up

and he would come in, quite often with an entourage,

he did, kind of, take comedy into rock and roll territory.

Sam was a friend of mine a mad man...

Fearless.

The rage that came out of Sam

and just fabulous

because the audience was just screamed into submission.

Anger plus a sense of humour. You can't beat that!

Despite being huge in the States,

this was Sam Kinison's only ever TV appearance in the UK

and featured his most admired routine.

Cos I don't have an act,

I don't have a home,

I don't have a car,

I didn't eat yesterday,

I had to borrow these clothes...

She took it all!

I was married for two years and I finished up with a primal scream.

AAA AAAAAAARRRRGH!

But I try not to have an attitude about it.

The best thing about that routine, in the classic sense, is that

people start off kind of going,

"oh, OK, well, this guy looks...

"..well, a bit pudgy, he's a bit menacing looking."

You ever been married? What's your name?

Gary... You want to settle down,

get a house, get a car? Will you do me a favour, Gary?

And then just escalates, takes it to about six notches up.

Remember this face!

AAAAAARRRGH!

Cos if you get married, Gary, that'll be your face, every day.

He just goes "look at my face"

and he clearly has been through a really horrendous marriage

and this is his way of channelling it.

And you believe in that second, he's not getting angry about airline food

or getting angry about TV adverts.

He's angry about the fact that he really screwed up his life.

It's the face of every married man when he gets up in the morning,

he gets out of bed, looks in the mirror and realises what he's done. He goes OH, OH, AAAAARGH!

What did I do to my life?!

I don't think, because of the way he is on stage,

that he comes across as a misogynist.

He actually comes across as a loser

as someone who, kind of, lost out in a relationship.

And you know however objective you try and be about a relationship finishing

we all absolutely loathe and detest the person that's chucked us.

I think he's, who I would be if I had more girlfriends.

Like, all my stuff revolves around having been single for eight years

and so I don't shout as much. But I think,

had I spent eight years in a frustrated relationship,

I would probably be screaming like Sam Kinison.

# Are you lonesome tonight? #

The pain of Sam's failed marriage fuelled his comedy

and it became a recurring theme.

# Are you sorry we drifted apart? #

He was quite a revelation in the way of performing.

There were people who were, like, angry comics before

but he just took it to another level. It seemed entirely genuine

and there was a complete disregard for how he went down.

You know I wonder if you're lonesome tonight...

I wonder a lot of things,

like, are you human?

How do you live with yourself?

Are you a reptile with a nice hairdo?

You snaky tramp! You lied to me!

When you told me you loved me you never loved me!

He didn't really get the appreciation and the acclaim

that he deserved because he was quite shocking to a lot of people.

His parents were evangelical preachers,

he was an evangelist for quite a while

and then he chucked it all to do comedy

but he still had that cadence and it made him extremely watchable.

Do me a favour if you see me working on the yard

or around the house. Do me a favour?

Kill me.

Kill me. I'm in hell!

Will you shoot me? Poison my food. Whatever it takes. I'm in hell!

AAH AAH AAARGH!

# Wild thing I think you move me...

# But I want to know for sure! #

You know how great it is to look at Sam Kinison 20 years later

and you still are just laughing at him!

So outrageously, insanely, crazy man,

uncontrollable, wonderfully funny.

There isn't a single comedian I know

that doesn't appreciate him, think he's brilliant. He was brilliant.

You're aware of this really precise control of what he's doing.

Amazingly dynamic.

I grew up in Australia

so Lucille Ball was really...

I mean she was the woman who was my role model as a comedian.

In fact, I remember her more than I remember any men,

any male comedians who were around at the time.

-What happened?

-Everything!

-Why have you got your skates on?

Because I couldn't get 'em off, my feet are so swollen!

Lucille Ball, best remembered for her blazing red hair and slapstick gags

was America's biggest comedian throughout the '50s and '60s.

My first, sort of, memory of her,

is neighbours, with their doors slightly opened,

in Australian summer it's really hot so the windows are open, the doors are open

and just shrieks and shrieks of laughter.

-Where does it hurt honey?

-Name it, it hurts!

My arm hurts, my leg hurts, my ankle hurts.

Oh, boy, does that hurt.

I would say I have laughed more, nearly got sick laughing,

at the Lucille Ball show when I was a child.

Prior to her long running reign as queen of the sitcom

model turned actress Lucille Ball

had been a huge star of the silver screen.

That's what I love about Lucille Ball. She has such a...

She was a movie star!

I mean, to see a movie star pretty

being zany and slapstick, that's great.

Lucille is a brilliant physical comic.

Women looking foolish, you know,

there aren't many who can get away with it, without kind of looking...

..I don't know, sort of, they lose your respect somehow.

Whereas Lucy, you love her more because she's doing this.

She starred in The Lucy Show a follow up to I Love Lucy

alongside co-star Vivienne Vance from 1962 to 1968.

-Oh, boy!

-How do you like the new roller skating ring?

I hear it's beautiful.

I wouldn't know. All I saw was the ceiling!

In my favourite clip, which is Lucy on roller skates,

slowly the scenario unfolds that Ethel's trying to get the skates off her.

She couldn't get them off they're too tight.

But she wants to go to the dance tonight

so she has to wear real shoes to the dance tonight, then, of course,

the Lucy logic says, "I'll just wear skates to the dance."

What'll people say when they see 'em? What'll you say to them?

Will you say "I happened to be in the neighbourhood, so I just, sort of, rolled in?"

You know she made Vivienne Vance stay fat. It was in her contract.

Lucille Ball's not stupid. If you look back at Lucille Ball's movies,

she was the only red head in the entire movie,

She knew exactly what her business was.

Mrs Lucille Carmichael.

That moment went she comes creaming in

and reception lines waiting to shake her hands

and she comes straight pass them and wraps herself round a pole.

And then we're asked to believe, that no-one at the dance notices

that she's on the skates.

Why didn't you wait for me?

How did I know it was downhill all the way from the parking lot?

The control it must have taken, just physically,

to achieve what she achieved.

She had to follow the choreography.

That meant she had to appear she was doing an out of control dance

with a number of different men in that ballroom

but at the same time actually be in complete control.

That is an extraordinarily difficult thing to do.

I mean, it is the most brilliant physical comedy,

I think I've ever seen and again it just works on so many levels.

It just had everything.

When did they put in that fish pond?

As a comic I always defend the right to swear and to push boundaries

and when I watch something as pure and as good-willed

as Morecombe and Wise, I sometimes feel maybe I've got it all wrong.

Let's give a warm welcome to the principal conductor

from the London Symphony Orchestra, Mr Andre Previn!

Audiences were thrilled when internationally acclaimed conductor Andre Previn

agreed to send himself up,

in this famous sketch from Christmas Day 1971.

I think their Previn sketch is my favourite just cos

it's so finely balanced. It should be really annoying.

It should either make Andre Previn look really pretentious

or it should make Eric Morecombe look like an idiot

but somehow it does neither.

Ladies and gentlemen, here to play Greig's Piano Concerto

is Mr Eric Morecombe!

It's just three people, all kind of in on the joke,

having a really good laugh together.

You can't help but laugh along with it and kind of want him to screw up.

-I do assure you, Mr Preview!

-Privet.

-Previn...

All the masterpieces, he knows them The Planet Suite by Gustav Holst.

Not forgetting The Three Piece Suite by Arthur Nagers.

Morecombe and Wise usually insisted on lengthy rehearsals with their guests stars

but rumour has it, Previn learnt his part on the flight over.

The story goes that Previn couldn't get there until the last minute

so Morecombe and Wise were very nervous about this

but I think it brings about a far better performance

than had they rehearsed it. Even now I can watch it

and every time Eric Morecombe calls him Andre Preview it makes me laugh.

-Don't go, Mr Preview!

-Privet!

-Previn!

I can assure you that Eric is more than capable.

-Well, all right, I'll go get my baton.

-Please do that!

-It's in Chicago.

-Is it.

Usually, when Eric and Ernie are interacting,

Ernie is the one who gets annoyed on our behalf.

But with that sketch at all times Ernie wants him to be silly.

He's kind of on his side and it's a total role reversal

as usually he'd be the one getting annoyed.

Open the curtains please!

The Andre Previn sketch was watched by 20 million viewers

and became an instant classic.

At twelve minutes long and packed with gags,

everybody has their favourite moment.

The best bit is when they reveal the orchestra and you know,

when it actually comes to him playing any notes,

he's going to cock it up.

Seen better bands on a cigar!

The one bit in that sketch that always makes me laugh

is when Eric turns round to the orchestra and goes...

Which one's the fixer?

Which is obviously a musical term

and the orchestra all piss themselves!

-The one in the gold lame suit!

-They usually are! Right!

You're just helpless with it.

There are so many stupid moments

when he's labouring his walk to the piano.

What's the matter?

The introduction.

-The introduction's wrong?

-It's too short.

-It's too short...

-Oh, you noticed!

-Yes, but...

The idea of measuring how short an introduction is

as an actual piece of physical space.

I would say about that much!

-About a yard.

-It's about a yard!

It's such a stupid thing to do.

-Any time!

-Could I have a word with you please?

-I'm sorry.

-What happened there?

I think my favourite moment in the sketch

is when he asks him to jump at the end of the introduction

because he can't see him through the piano.

I have a suggestion.

Would you jump up in the air?

So I can see you over the lid of the piano, you see.

-If you could jump up!

-You want me to actually jump into the air on the rostrum

-in order so you can see my cue?

-Yes, if you'll do that for me.

-If you'll do that...

-Yes... I'll do that for you.

-Yes, he's a nice man isn't he?

-Isn't he charming?

-I like him!

Grieg by...with him and him!

HE PLAYS WONKY TUNE

It's such a rude thing to ask a conductor to do.

It was always just the cheek of it wasn't it?

And you're thinking

"Oh, God, what's he going to do to poor old Andre Previn?"

You're playing all the wrong notes.

And all everyone remembers...

"Listen, sunshine."

"I am playing the right notes."

"Not necessarily in the right order."

I mean, the band, I look at them, they were screaming.

I'm playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order.

They are the right notes, they're just not in the right order. Fantastic!

I'll give you that, I'll give you that, sunshine.

It was just a perfect moment.

-That was just wonderful!

-Just wonderful!

Just wonderful! Stupid, childish and very funny!

Well, for another £4 we could have got Edward Heath!

APPLAUSE

HE PLAYS EXPERTLY

If that ever comes on the telly, you stop what you're doing and sit down.

Rubbish!

HE PLAYS WONKY TUNE

That's it! You've got it!

I just love Morecombe and Wise. I love their warmth of it,

I just love that they seem to love each other while they're joking.

# Bring me sunshine, in your smile. #

They're basically just the funniest mates you have in the pub

that you don't want to interrupt

and you don't go out drinking to tell them stories,

you just want to be with them for two hours

and watch how they interact with each other.

# ...joy you can give To each brand new bright tomorrow.

# Make me happy through the years

# Never bring me any tears

# Let your arms be as warm As the sun from up above

# Bring me fun, bring me sunshine Bring me love! #

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