Episode 2 Outnumbered


Episode 2

Award-winning comedy. When Mum finds an inappropriate image on the family computer, an investigation begins. Meanwhile, Dad fears a heart-to-heart with Gran.


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Transcript


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I was sorting out the computer after it crashed

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and I noticed that someone had downloaded an inappropriate image.

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Was it you?

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Well, it could be... was it the farting nun?

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No, Ben it was not the farting nun.

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-Was it the tree man?

-Ben.

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Or that creepy dude who can lift things up with his mind? That's cool.

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-Ben...

-Or was it that evil clown song...

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-Ben!

-Oh, I know! Is it the Pekinese dog and the lawnmower? That made me want to throw up.

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-Ben, I think you know what I'm talking about.

-I don't.

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-It's a rude part of a lady with no clothes on.

-Which rude part?

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The...top rude part.

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What, both top rude parts or just one?

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Ben! Did you download it or not?

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Next on Britain's Got Talent is...Hippo!

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Right, now, Hippo, what are you going to do for us today?

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I'm going to eat all the chocolate I can eat in memory of my mother.

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OK, then...er...off you go.

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Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

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Bleugh!

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Bleugh!

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Bleugh! Bleugh!

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All right, over to Simon Cowell.

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That wasn't very impressive because, after a while, you were sick everywhere

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and the Queen would not like to see that at all.

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And now over to Piers.

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This act symbolizes everything that's great about Britain.

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And Amanda.

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I hated it.

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Now over to Ant and Dec.

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Well, sorry to hear about that, but our next contestant is Elephant.

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Whoooo, Elephant!

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-Maybe a robber broke in and downloaded it.

-That's ridiculous.

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-Or Dad could have done it.

-Why would your Dad have a large picture of a woman's...chest?

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Well, Craig's dad does. He has lots of pictures of women.

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You have to pay Craig 50p to see one.

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Right.

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Well. I'm going to talk to you more about that in a moment.

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But right now, downloading something like that is inappropriate and...

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What does inappropriate mean? Only I hear it a lot and does it mean naughty?

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It means, eh...behaviour that...

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it's not appropriate.

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Not suitable.

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Behaviour that's out of place.

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-Out of what place?

-Yes, it means naughty.

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So...good day, Mum?

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Mm-hm...

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and yourself?

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No, not... Not too bad, thanks.

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Hello, and what's your name? I'm Elephant and I am performing in memory of my mother

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who was savaged to death by ostriches.

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OK, and what are you going to do for us today?

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I'm going to set my head on fire.

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Off you go, then.

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Set my head on fire...

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Pckkkk! Ow-w-w-w! Pckkkk!

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Now over to Piers.

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It symbolizes everything that's great about this country.

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Now over to Ant and Dec.

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Oh, dear, I'm sitting on Ant.

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Why's this jam jar full of...

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wasps?

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One of Ben's projects. Listen, Pete, have you asked your mum about why she's so keen to give us that 3,000?

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D'you know I just, I just haven't had the chance...

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we really haven't had a moment to talk.

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Cos it's odd. Cos she's normally so careful with her money. Now it's...

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Hey, Dad, want a game of chess?

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-Um... yeah...OK.

-I'm really, really good.

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-OK, grandmaster.

-I forgot.

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You know this chess club he's been going to?

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-They've asked him to play in an inter-schools tournament tomorrow...

-Really?

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It's probably one of those inclusion things. You know, everyone gets a game even if they're rubbish.

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Give him a chance. In some ways he's quite a sophisticated thinker.

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-Ahhhhrrrrgggghhhhh!

-THUMP

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So this computer thing...

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you think it was him?

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I mean he does have form when it comes to downloading...

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-and uploading.

-Yeah. Did YouTube ever get back to you about that?

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Yeah, according to their cyber-citizenship guidelines,

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because I'm only in it from the neck down, they're not obliged to remove it,

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although they are giving it a parental guidance warning.

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D'you know, I don't think this was Ben...and Jake swears it wasn't him, either.

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OK, Ben. We're a bishop short, so you've got Darth Vader.

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What do they mean when a woman is size zero?

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Because zero is nothing so then they'd be invisible.

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It just means she's very skinny...

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but a woman can be any size or shape she wants.

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What about a hexagon?

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Well. No...I meant it could be...

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Or a triangle, because triangles are...

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No, I meant it doesn't matter if a woman is thin or fat.

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What if you were like this.

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-Would that be OK?

-Well, that...

-There's a man in Mexico and...

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er... he has to get a crane to get him out of bed, he's so fat. Is that all right?

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-Oh... Well, no...

-What is too fat? Is it...

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Would you like to watch some television?

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No.

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Y'know I've been thinking about those, er...

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that image on the computer.

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-It could be Mum who put it on there.

-Me! I found it.

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She who smelt it, dealt it.

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Ben, you need to concentrate.

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Rahhhhhh!

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Dead!

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Y'see this morning, I walked in on my mum using the computer,

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and as soon as she saw me she closed it down really fast.

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So you're saying that your 68-year-old mother

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has turned gay and is downloading soft porn onto the computer?

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No, no, of course not.

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PHONE RINGS

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All right.

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Come on, Ben, it's your move.

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-Ben!

-It's Jane.

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-No, not annoying Jane, your sister Jane.

-Oh, right. OK.

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-Hi, Jane.

-Mum, er, Gavin rang.

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-Gavin?

-Duh! Gavin. You know the estate agent?

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He said some people are coming to look at the house.

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-Oh, right, when?

-Er...seven o'clock tonight.

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What?

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Why didn't you tell me?

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-I did tell you, just now.

-Er...

-But that's one hour from now.

-Hang on, hang on a sec.

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-I'll help you tidy up.

-Oh, great... thank you.

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I'll tell Gavin they can't come.

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-I don't care if they come or not because I'm not moving.

-Really?

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It's Sue Brockman. We can't do a viewing tonight.

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And in future if you talk to a teenager, please assume we haven't got the message.

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I don't mind everybody else moving, but I'm staying here.

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OK, I'll tell the estate agent to put that in the details,

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"Delightful semi with south-facing garden and built-in seven-year-old."

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Well, I'm staying here,

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and that is all I have to say on the matter.

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Sue. can I just have a word...

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-about something?

-Go on then.

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Oh, a word.

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It's all right, I'm going upstairs.

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Good work.

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Anyway, the reason Jane rang is because Mum has offered her a couple of thousand as well.

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-Oh, blimey.

-And she's sent a cheque for £800 to Lucille.

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Well, why don't you just ask your Mum what's going on?

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I mean, she's going home tomorrow, so....

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Well, she wouldn't tell Jane. And she quite likes Jane.

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You know, something's up, what do you reckon?

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Ben's eaten all the toothpaste again!

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Well, get some out of the cupboard.

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Your move.

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Ah, I see what you're up to.

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-Neeeowwwwww!

-Ben, can you just...

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-Ah! Pshhhhh!

-Ben, please.

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Ben. Ben! Please. No strafing in the kitchen.

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We don't want another friendly fire incident with the wine rack!

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Listen, Pete, maybe we should accept that money from your mum. I mean, she obviously wants us to have it.

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Oh, I don't know, it just doesn't feel right.

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-But you were comfortable enough accepting those gifts from my Dad.

-Yeah.

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A Betamax video recorder, a cider press and a Chinese soldier's jawbone from the Korean War.

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Well, OK, but, is that still under you pillow?

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No, I sold it to Ibrahim.

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-Mum!

-What?

-Is Anusol toothpaste?

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No! No. Wait there. Don't touch anything, I'm coming.

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Right, let's see.

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-Checkmate.

-Don't be silly, Ben, it can't be checkmate, we've only just...

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-Karen, come back and finish...

-Stop nagging me, Daddy, I've told you. I've finished my breakfast.

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I know it was you who downloaded that woman's...image.

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Have you been looking at my emails?

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I...

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-saw them, yes.

-Now THAT is out of order.

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PETE BURPS

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You're a bit burpy.

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You should see a burpologist. Is that what the doctor said?

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No, he didn't, and don't cherry pick the muesli.

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There aren't any cherries in the muesli.

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You know what I mean.

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You pick out all the good bits. The last third of the packet is like eating dust.

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It's natural sifting - it happens in the tundra.

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The largest rocks reach the surface.

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Oh, not the tundra excuse again.

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Why did you download that image onto the family computer?

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Cos Ben melted my laptop.

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-And also the resolution on my phone is crap...

-Jake. Why did you lie to me?

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Cos I knew you'd just go and throw yourself into some over-reaction like this.

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I am not over-reacting, come back!

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-It was him?

-Yeah, I had trouble sleeping last night so I had another go at sorting out the computer

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and, unsurprisingly, it was Warren who sent him the email.

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Oh, and Jake's been on one of those internet poker sites.

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-I didn't have a chance to broach that one with him.

-Oh, God.

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-And I don't want to worry you...

-Now I AM worried. Go on.

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You know you said your Mum turned the computer off suddenly?

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Well, someone's been looking up symptoms of intestinal cancer.

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-Right.

-So, what with that and her trying to give all her money away...

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Dad, do you want another game of chess?

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-Er...there's not really time, Ben.

-Who won last night?

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-Oh. Ben won.

-I kicked his sorry butt.

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You went easy on him? You shouldn't do that... it's not good for children.

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You certainly never went easy on me.

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I particularly remember my crushing defeat at Scrabble...

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because I was still upset at the start of my birthday party.

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My fifth birthday party.

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But if you let children win, you cheat them of that moment when they really beat you for the first time.

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And if we keep playing Scrabble, Peter, that moment might still come.

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Well, it already would have if you hadn't spelt quasi with a Z.

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-It's an alternative spelling.

-In Norway, maybe.

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-Pete.

-Anyway I don't think you should let Ben win.

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All right then, Mum, why don't... why don't you play him and beat him?

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Maybe you're right. It's important that kids learn how to lose, isn't it?

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-We don't have time, we have to leave for school...

-You can start now

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-and finish this evening, I'll set up the board up.

-OK, just let me get dressed.

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I've been meaning to ask...

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what is that thing?

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Oh, that's the elephant in the room, we never talk about that.

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Why not?

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No...it's the eleph...

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It's an express... Oh, never mind.

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He still hasn't written back to me. Why hasn't he written back to me?

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Well, he's probably busy.

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-Doing what?

-Well...you know...

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being President of the United States.

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Tony Blair wrote back to me about the badgers.

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Yeah, but that probably wasn't him, that was one of his secretaries.

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-Karen, you've got your top on back to front.

-But you said that it was him!

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You were four at the time, so we probably let you think that.

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You lied! What would Tony Blair have said if he knew that you lied to a four-year-old?

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-Well done?

-They do that a lot.

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They accuse us of lying but it's them that lie most.

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There is a difference between letting a small child down gently and downloading porn.

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It's not porn cos A - I didn't have to pay for it and B - it was taken in a public place.

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Well, hang on that's... What public place?

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-Warren's garden.

-Who's it of?

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Miss Murchison... she lives opposite him.

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-It's one of your teachers?!

-Miss Murchison.

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Well, how do you think she'd feel if she knew there were naked pictures of her going around the school?

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-It's OK, we didn't include her face.

-The tall one with the red hair.

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That doesn't make it better, Jake, and what's more...

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Pete, don't go near that computer...

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-What's more we need to have a serious conversation.

-Mum.

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-In the living room, now.

-Dad, look at this...

-Later, Karen...

-Ben...

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Come here, look. Reader's Digest says that we have definitely won £500,000 pounds.

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And that it's in a bank account ready to be transferred into your bank account when we're ready.

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-£500,000! Wow, that's so much money! We could buy loads of stuff!

-We could buy everything!

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We can buy... We can buy... We can buy a massive mansion made out of gold and...

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I would buy a robotic dragon

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with a flame thrower on its tongue.

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I could buy a TV which you could walk inside, it's like the size of the door.

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What about those magazines you buy?

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Those celebrities probably don't want their pictures taken, yet you still go out and buy the magazines.

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Well. I don't buy them.

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I occasionally pick them up off trains and bring them home...

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-to recycle.

-Can I just go, please?

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No, this is serious, very serious. In fact, what you've done is actually a criminal offence.

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What criminal offence is it?

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It's...

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It...

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Well it's... receiving stolen...

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-Breasts?

-You could get in big trouble here.

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Oh, yeah, a time machine!

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-Buy a time machine.

-And you could see us when we're older.

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Or I'd buy the Amazon rainforest.

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Or I'd buy school and then close it down.

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What would poor Miss Murchison do if she knew about all this?

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-Buy curtains?

-Jake, this is very serious!

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-And we haven't even got on to the poker yet.

-What poker?

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The poker you've been playing on the computer.

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-I never did that.

-You said you never did this!

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-I should probably get going to school, to be honest.

-Jake!

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Or to save the polar bears. You'd have enough money to drop massive ice cubes and bits of ice onto...

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onto the...onto where they are so they can be saved!

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Or we could just buy 500,000 Magnums.

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OK, Ben. Now I warn you I'm going to play my absolute best.

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-Which do you want to be, black or white?

-Black.

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Because it's the colour of death.

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Right.

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I mean, they're just teenage boys.

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They're like baboons on heat in school uniform.

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But unless someone does something they'll turn into baboons on heat in suits and ties.

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What if the girls in your school were circulating pictures of you in the...

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Actually, let's not even think about that.

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They do have ringtones of Jeff Castle,

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the relief art teacher, in bed...

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with someone.

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How in God's name did they...?

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Oh, it was 11J, best not to ask if you want a car that still works at four o'clock.

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-Check.

-What?

-Y'see, there are some things you can't do while playing your Game Boy.

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Yeah, that's what the man on my cycling proficiency test said.

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-Come on, let's get everyone moving.

-Pete...

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you don't seem that worried about your mum and all that medical stuff on the computer.

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-No, no, I am.

-Cos don't you think it's a bit odd... Oh, God, it's you, isn't it?

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I was just...

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checking out all the various possibilities on my stomach symptoms.

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But you know you only frighten yourself when you do that.

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It's like that time we got back from Morocco and you convinced yourself you had rabies.

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It's just that when Dr Benjamin said he was sending me for those tests, I thought...

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-he looked a bit worried.

-But he always looks worried, he's got that lazy eye.

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Come on, everyone, we need to go in two minutes.

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Look, don't worry about it, you cycled 40 miles last weekend - you're obviously really fit.

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Has he got another pain?

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Men and their ailments, eh?

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Checkmate.

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Don't be silly, Ben, that's not...

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No, I think that IS checkmate.

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Now, I thought you...

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I... I didn't want to discourage him on the day of his tournament.

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But aren't you, er...cheating him out of that moment when he beats you for real for the first time?

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You planned that, didn't you?

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Oh, yeah.

0:17:530:17:55

We almost certainly haven't won a prize and it's nearly tea time, so...

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-What do you mean we haven't won a prize?

-Look. It's not...

0:18:000:18:03

It says, "You have won £500,000." Can't you read, Mummy?

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They make it look like that so you buy their magazines.

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Well, if it means £500,000, let's buy their magazines. They don't cost that much.

0:18:080:18:14

Listen, Karen, we are not getting any money.

0:18:140:18:18

But I've already spent it.

0:18:180:18:20

-What?

-I promised Maisie Warburton £10,000 for this glow-in-the-dark pen.

0:18:200:18:26

Well, you'll have to give it back.

0:18:260:18:28

No. It was no returns. You'll have to give her the £10,000, cos you don't want to end up in court.

0:18:280:18:34

-Karen.

-Because I think you'd probably lose, Mummy.

0:18:340:18:38

Hang on, why's Janice emailing me about nothing?

0:18:400:18:44

I didn't even know she had my...

0:18:440:18:48

God, I could quite happily destroy this computer, all the trouble it causes.

0:18:480:18:52

Don't worry about Jake and those pictures.

0:18:520:18:54

To be honest, Sandra, I'm more worried about his late-night poker.

0:18:540:18:57

-That wasn't Jake.

-Well, I'd have said the same about Miss Murchinson's.

-No, Sue...

0:18:570:19:01

It wasn't Jake.

0:19:010:19:03

-So does Ben get his chess genes from you?

-Well, I...

0:19:110:19:16

(I, er... I play a little bit.)

0:19:190:19:21

(Grayson, the boy he's playing, he's never lost a local tournament before.

0:19:210:19:26

(Ben's giving him quite a game.)

0:19:260:19:29

Neeeeeeeeeeeeyooooowww! Pow!

0:19:340:19:36

-So how long have you been addicted to these sites?

-I'm not sure I'd use the word addicted.

0:19:390:19:44

Well, if you've lost more than £4,000...

0:19:440:19:46

This sounds pathetic, but I've been feeling so lonely...

0:19:460:19:49

and all the guys I've been playing with - Mongo, Middlesex Fats, the Colchester Kid, Boner,

0:19:490:19:56

Aceface, Dogend... it felt like a community.

0:19:560:20:01

It's a community that took you for four grand.

0:20:010:20:03

And that's why I've been trying so hard to give my money away to all of you, y'know,

0:20:030:20:07

so that I don't just fritter it away on...

0:20:070:20:10

Look, Sandra, I really think you should...

0:20:100:20:13

open up to Pete about this.

0:20:130:20:15

-Oh, you mustn't tell Peter.

-Well, I can't keep it from him.

0:20:150:20:18

Oh. All right...

0:20:200:20:23

but families worked much better before this talking fad started.

0:20:230:20:29

Pckkkkk!

0:20:340:20:36

One more battle noise like that and I shall have to disqualify him.

0:20:360:20:40

Ben... easy on the battle noises, OK?

0:20:400:20:43

This is chess, not soccer.

0:20:430:20:48

Clip, clop, clip, clop, neighhhhhh!

0:20:530:20:55

-Right.

-Ben!

-It wasn't a battle noise!

0:20:550:20:59

It was a horsey noise.

0:20:590:21:01

It wasn't a battle noise... it was a horsey noise.

0:21:010:21:06

One final chance.

0:21:080:21:11

Dear Barack Obama,

0:21:110:21:17

I am

0:21:170:21:21

beginning to lose

0:21:210:21:29

my patience.

0:21:290:21:35

What are you writing to him about now?

0:21:350:21:37

About how they said that we had won a prize but we actually hadn't

0:21:370:21:42

and that everyone from Readers Digest should go to jail

0:21:420:21:47

and have to wee in a bucket and only have a budgie to talk to.

0:21:470:21:50

I'm not sure you can go to jail for...misleading offers.

0:21:500:21:53

Some people say that jail is quite nice, is that true?

0:21:530:21:57

I think that's just the Daily Mail says that.

0:21:570:21:59

It's not nice to have your freedom taken away, is it?

0:21:590:22:02

They don't even have to go in prisons. If they're really bad

0:22:020:22:05

they should just be put in holes in the ground with...

0:22:050:22:08

you know the things that go over a gutter, the big plates,

0:22:080:22:11

with that over. And so that they stay in the dark...

0:22:110:22:14

and they have to eat soup and they don't even put the soup in a bowl,

0:22:140:22:19

-they just pour it down into the hole and they have to eat it with their hands off of the mud.

-What...

0:22:190:22:25

They should make it really horrible and anyone who does a bad thing, er,

0:22:250:22:30

that could hurt someone and they were over ten...

0:22:300:22:34

-should go to jail.

-Ten?!

0:22:340:22:36

BEN IMITATES TICKING CLOCK

0:22:360:22:40

No mind games, please.

0:22:400:22:43

It's not mind games, he's bored.

0:22:430:22:46

Cos ole' speccy swotty chops is taking so long.

0:22:460:22:53

That's her son.

0:22:530:22:55

That's her son?

0:22:550:22:56

She's the referee and that's her son?

0:22:560:22:59

Actually, I'm an adjudicator.

0:22:590:23:00

-Have you a problem with that?

-Yes, I have. I can just see that in the Premiership.

0:23:000:23:04

Wayne Rooney has been awarded a penalty by his mum because Frank Lampard has been mean to him.

0:23:040:23:10

Can I remind you that we play in silence?

0:23:100:23:12

Oh, you've got all these rules but you haven't got a rule which says the referee can't be someone's mum!

0:23:120:23:17

You swan in here, your first tournament, and you think that...

0:23:170:23:21

Excuse me, we're trying to concentrate here.

0:23:210:23:24

-DEEP VOICE:

-Die, Bishop, die!

0:23:300:23:32

Right! You were warned. You are now...

0:23:320:23:34

Eat dirt, Queenie... Kapow!

0:23:340:23:36

Neeeeeeeooowwwwww...

0:23:360:23:38

Grayson. Grayson, stop that at once.

0:23:380:23:41

Grayson, stop that. Grayson, please.

0:23:410:23:44

-Charge!

-Silence, boys! Boys...

0:23:440:23:46

Right. So you're going to put the prisoners in fridges and ovens now, are you?

0:23:460:23:50

Well, you don't turn the oven ON.

0:23:500:23:52

You turn it on a tiny bit and after they're in there for about half an hour,

0:23:520:23:57

then you take them out and you put them in the fridge,

0:23:570:23:59

and once they're in there for a half an hour

0:23:590:24:02

you keep swapping so that they never get too hot or too cold.

0:24:020:24:05

Yeah. I think that one's been done.

0:24:050:24:07

I think Stalin had that idea.

0:24:070:24:11

What d'you mean?

0:24:110:24:12

-By the way, Karen, you didn't tell anyone at school about us winning a prize, did you?

-We told everyone.

0:24:120:24:19

And what exactly did you tell them?

0:24:190:24:21

That we won £500,000 and that we were now the richest people in school

0:24:210:24:27

and Ben said that he would buy the school three whiteboards and a leopard.

0:24:270:24:33

Right, well, that explains a lot...

0:24:330:24:35

particularly the odd look Celia gave me at pick-up when I asked to borrow 20p for the meter.

0:24:350:24:40

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Kitty.

0:24:420:24:46

It must be so difficult to make ends meet.

0:24:460:24:49

While we're on the subject, you didn't hear of us winning half a million pounds, did you?

0:24:490:24:56

Cos... cos we didn't.

0:24:560:24:58

Oh, God, no, no, I know that's not why you rang!

0:24:580:25:02

No. No... Don't be silly...

0:25:020:25:06

No, no, no.

0:25:060:25:09

No, no, bye.

0:25:090:25:11

-Can I go on the computer?

-He's made a chess buddy.

-Oh, great.

0:25:110:25:15

You're through to Sue's phone.

0:25:150:25:17

We have not, repeat not, won half a million pounds.

0:25:170:25:21

Please leave a message if you still want to.

0:25:210:25:25

-So what's...?

-OK...

0:25:250:25:27

I've told my mates they have to delete Miss Murchison's breasts

0:25:270:25:30

and stop sending them out, but you know I can't do anything about the other schools.

0:25:300:25:34

-School-s.

-It is a world wide web, Mum.

0:25:340:25:38

Yeah, but this won't have gone worldwide, will it?

0:25:380:25:41

OK, I'm not going to follow that one up.

0:25:410:25:44

God, I hate the internet! It's full of porn and kids have access

0:25:450:25:49

to all sorts of scary stuff that no-one understands.

0:25:490:25:53

Yeah, well, I felt like that at 13 without the internet.

0:25:530:25:56

Yeah but you didn't go to Richie's sleepover and watch

0:25:560:25:59

the Taliban video of some poor tribesman getting his head sawn off.

0:25:590:26:02

Well, we were lucky he didn't understand what he was watching.

0:26:020:26:06

He thought it was a David Copperfield thing and they were going to put the head back on afterwards.

0:26:060:26:10

-Well, that's me packed up and ready to go.

-Oh! Right.

0:26:100:26:17

-Ben, I've got something to show you.

-What?

0:26:170:26:20

It's in the garden. Front garden.

0:26:200:26:23

-What?

-Come on.

0:26:230:26:26

I'm trying to do something, can't you see that?

0:26:260:26:30

Oh. Handbag.

0:26:300:26:31

So I suppose Sue's told you about the gambling?

0:26:390:26:43

Pretty much.

0:26:430:26:46

-I suppose we need to sort this whole thing out.

-I have - internet disconnected, credit cards frozen.

0:26:460:26:52

I've asked to be banned from the sites and if you and your sister accept the money I'm offering

0:26:520:26:56

then there's no chance I'll relapse, so it's all sorted, OK?

0:26:560:26:59

OK. It's... It's just that sometimes, Mum, these addictions,

0:26:590:27:06

it can be hard to stop because it goes a lot deeper.

0:27:060:27:09

Is there something deeper you'd like to talk about?

0:27:110:27:16

-No.

-Fair enough.

0:27:160:27:17

Peter, I think Sue would really like us to spend some time opening up to each other.

0:27:170:27:24

Right.

0:27:250:27:27

-What's this supposed to do?

-It's cyber-vigil software, it blocks your children

0:27:420:27:46

-from inappropriate websites.

-Yeah, but I can clone that off Oscar's mum's computer.

0:27:460:27:51

Yeah, well, I decided to buy it rather than steal it.

0:27:510:27:54

That is so weird.

0:27:540:27:56

-So quick cup of tea anyone? I'm making.

-Everything all right, you two?

0:27:560:28:00

Had a good... good natter?

0:28:000:28:02

-Oh, yes.

-Yes, it was lovely... it was...really cleared the air.

0:28:020:28:06

-Yeah, very good...

-Lovely.

0:28:060:28:08

Should have done it a long time ago.

0:28:080:28:10

Ages ago.

0:28:100:28:12

Well, good.

0:28:120:28:14

There's an e-mail here,

0:28:140:28:16

says that Ben's school has been banned from the chess league.

0:28:160:28:20

Does it say why?

0:28:200:28:22

Inappropriate behaviour.

0:28:220:28:25

Oh, something must have happened after we left.

0:28:250:28:28

Come on, do we really have to bother with this cyber-visual thing?

0:28:280:28:32

-Yes, we do. Absolutely.

-100%.

-Why?

0:28:320:28:34

Because as responsible parents we need something to defend this family

0:28:340:28:40

from the dark and dangerous tentacles of the internet.

0:28:400:28:45

-That's right.

-Except we need you to install it, cos we can't make head or tail of it.

0:28:450:28:49

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:550:28:58

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:580:29:01

When Mum finds an inappropriate image on the family computer, an investigation begins. Gran is still staying, and Dad is horrified at the thought of having a heart-to-heart with her.

Meanwhile, the ancient game of chess will never be quite the same again after Ben brings his own special talents to it.


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