Episode 6 Outnumbered


Episode 6

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Zofi, find me the number... for E.ON Power.

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'Do you want me to search Facebook for Ian Power?'

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Jesus.

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Search E.ON!

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'Do you want me to search for sea urchin?'

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Sea urchin? What the...?

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You've only had that phone for five minutes

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and already you're in a dysfunctional relationship!

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This phone is deaf!

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It's probably scared of you, cos it found out you smashed your last phone

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by jumping up and down on it.

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I'm surprised they let you have another one after that.

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-Well, Dad lied to them.

-Not a lie, exactly.

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Just a white lie.

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It was carried off by a raven?!

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OK. I panicked.

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I was aiming for something where they think no-one could have made that up.

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Hang on. I was sitting there.

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Well, I'm sitting here now, so tough.

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BOTH STRAIN AND GROAN

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Dad, can I use the computer to do my cyber-bullying homework?

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Eh? What happened to good old-fashioned bullying?

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It's a lost art!

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Does nobody have their head stuffed down the toilet any more?

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Well, they do it virtually

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because they get a picture of someone with their head down the toilet

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-and they Photoshop the face...

-Yeah.

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..they animate it and then they upload it to YouTube.

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-BOTH GROAN

-Here, mind my tea!

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You're going to knock over your Zimmer frame!

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The biggest muscles you have got are in...your...hair!

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The old silverback is ejected from the family group.

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I'll take you on next.

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STRAINING AND GRUNTING

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I could snap you in half like a twig!

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FRONT DOOR CLOSES

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Don't stop the mindless violence for me!

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-How's Grandad?

-Oh, he's still very poorly, darling.

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Did he recognise you?

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Well, yeah, but as someone who worked in a bar in Korea.

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Obviously, they were very close.

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-And is he still, er, in danger?

-Could go either way, they say.

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-I'll put the kettle on.

-Thanks.

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-I was right to ring Angela, wasn't I?

-You had to.

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And we've got to have that big talk with her anyway.

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Oh, I'm looking forward to that(!)

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Oh, God, Auntie Angela's coming?

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I wonder what strange bloke she'll have in tow this time!

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We had the psychotic psychiatrist, the secretly gay Mexican lumberjack

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and the delusional, stone-balancing accountant.

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Oh, and there was that one who was really weird!

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-She's got religion now.

-I thought she did religion?

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You know, in between being a Maoist and a fruitarian.

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Yeah, well, that was just Buddhism. That doesn't count.

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She just chanted and shopped in Monsoon.

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Where's Ben?

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Spartacus "the musical". It's the dress rehearsal tonight.

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He's been practising nonstop. I just hope he hasn't wrecked his voice.

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How?! He sounds like a sea lion stuck down a mine shaft.

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-Hey, just...

-Hi, Sue!

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-I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

-Stacey!

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Hello!

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Yeah, Stacey's come back for a couple of days before she flies to Greece.

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How lovely!

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At least there's some good news!

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So, you chose Greece?

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Yep. There's got to be some bargains there since the economy tanked.

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Make them an offer on the Acropolis!

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It's a hill with a temple on it.

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In Athens, which is in Greece.

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Oh! Cool. Right, I'm just going to go depilate.

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-Has she never heard of a hotel?!

-There's quite a lot of things she's never heard of.

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My favourites are the Vietnam War, typewriters...and Norway.

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I'm sorry, Sue, she is my goddaughter, I couldn't turn her away.

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Yeah. And Ben'll slip back into his testosterone coma.

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-I'll get that tea.

-I've made it already.

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It's by the kettle.

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Thanks.

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-Karen's being really nice to me.

-Well, to everyone.

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I think maybe the penny's dropped since she had that talk with the headmistress.

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An adult she respects. How long is it since we've had one of those?

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Father Christmas?

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Actually, didn't she call him "fatso in a red dress" when she got the wrong bear?

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Oh, yeah.

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Be a shame if she lost her essential Karen-ness.

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I know I shouldn't say this,

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but I think we may have finally got to a point where they're all, you know, OK.

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-Yeah.

-Are you OK?

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I'm all right. I held Dad's hand and had a bit of a blub.

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Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's best if he doesn't pull through.

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I wouldn't want for him to get like some of that lot in the home.

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Oh, God. One day it'll be our kids having a conversation like this about us!

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No, they'll have packed us off to that place in Switzerland long before that.

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I've got my place back on the sofa, sucker!

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Jake, you've got a text from Alex!

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OK! Don't look at it!

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Yes!

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You think you're so funny.

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-Karen, why aren't you in bed?

-Because I'm in the kitchen.

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SHE SIGHS

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I think her Karen-ness is still intact.

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-FRONT DOOR SLAMS

-Ooh!

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Ben, the front door is not your enemy!

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-How was the dress?!

-BEN: Terrible.

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Well, that's probably...

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I've just let Auntie Angela in. And a man. I'm going straight to bed.

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(Angela.)

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-Hi.

-Angela.

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-Hi.

-You're here.

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I landed three hours ago and rushed straight to the care home,

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which I have just come from,

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-and where dad is fine.

-Fine?!

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He's seriously ill.

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He was watching the boxing.

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He's watching the boxing?! Are you sure?

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Well, the boxing was on the television, and he was watching it.

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-Well, that's great.

-Yes, it is great!

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Though, from your phone call, I wasn't sure I'd even get here in time.

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But, still, that's a relief, isn't it?

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Yes, a relief. And a surprise.

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Well, I was at the care home, er, three or four hours ago, and...and, honestly,

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he was seriously ill. "Could go either way," they said.

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You brought suitcases, I see.

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I rushed straight here, Pete.

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I left halfway through an exorcism. I didn't have time to book a hotel.

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-Hi.

-Hi.

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-Hi.

-Hi.

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Hello, Auntie Angela. How are you?

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I'm... I'm...fine.

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Thank you, Karen.

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Could you put me through to the Nixon ward, please?

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This is Tommy.

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-Tommy?

-He came over to support me.

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Because I expected a situation serious enough to need support.

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Yeah. Hi, yes...

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You've got a really cool home.

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-Thank you.

-I have a hamster called Tommy.

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But he's stuck under the floorboards, and Dad won't take them up.

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Karen, it's two-and-a-half months since he did a runner.

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What would he have lived off since then?

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The hamster food that I pushed through the floorboards.

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Well, that would explain the smell. I thought that was Tommy.

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Yeah.

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No, not, not you.

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Sorry, I didn't mean you, I meant...

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Look, I have come 7,000 miles!

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Perhaps we could stop discussing hamsters!

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Right. So, the antibiotics they've given him have kicked in

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and he's taken a sudden turn for the better.

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Well, I know.

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Cos I've just come from there. As I just informed you.

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Well.

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Here we are again.

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Anyone like a cup of tea?

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Auntie Angela?

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-You're offering me tea?

-Yes.

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-Thank you.

-Biscuits?

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Yes.

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OK.

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-What was all that about?

-Sorry?

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Well, she's being nice to me. It's unnerving.

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It's a phase she's going through. She...

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It's a good phase.

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She's a great kid.

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And your dad, Sue, must've been a great guy.

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He still is.

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I don't know why he's in that hideous home.

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with all those old people, being old

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with their old-people smell and...elasticated trousers.

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Don't suppose he knew who you were, did he?

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-No, actually, he did.

-Really?

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-He held my hand.

-He'll hold anybody's hand!

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Cleaners have complained.

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He smiled and whispered, "Ange."

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Here we are. Nice cup of tea.

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Thank you.

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Are you sure he said "Ange"?

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Sure he didn't say "ungh"?

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It was Ange.

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Cos he makes the "ungh" noise quite a lot.

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He said Ange, didn't he? Yeah.

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Yeah, he did say...

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..what she said.

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Recognises me as well. Totally.

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-Did he say your name?

-Says my name all the time.

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So, he recognises everyone! That's just...

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splendid.

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There is something else that we do need to talk about.

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-Hiya.

-Um, this is my goddaughter. Stacey,

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this is Angela and Tommy.

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Stacey's staying with us until she heads off to Greece very soon.

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Travelling the world, eh? Yeah.

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Oh, God, Sue, do you remember just before you went to uni,

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and I took you off to the Greek islands and we lived on retsina

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and slept on the beach under the stars.

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Well, I slept on the beach under the stars.

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You slept in a taverna with that Greek waiter you'd met.

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Oh! Hercules! The one who had the brother who liked you!

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Yeah!

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The obese, 50-year-old, one-legged, epileptic brother!

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Chased me all over the island.

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Well, he tried to.

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Sisters, eh?! Oh, you can't beat them.

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No. But you can kick them.

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Probably, we should just all head up to bed.

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OK. Just for tonight, Stacey, you'll have to go in with Karen.

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OK.

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Jake can go in with Ben, and Angela and Tommy, you can go in Jake's room,

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assuming, that is, you'd like to share a room.

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And why wouldn't we?

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Well, I don't know the nature of your relationship.

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Is this to do with our difference in age?

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No, not at all.

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So, I shall put you in the same room.

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Tommy's born-again, like me.

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We met at Sunday school.

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-Was he still at Sunday school?

-Probably an adult Sunday school.

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SLAMS DOWN HER MUG

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Yeah. We'll head up... DOOR SLAMS

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..to your upstairs,

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which I'm sure is as great as your downstairs.

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Well, that could have gone worse!

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She doesn't appear to be wanted by Interpol.

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There hasn't been any physical violence yet.

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Do you think she came over purely to show off her Stepford toy boy?

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I don't know.

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So, how long do you think this relationship will last? Ooh!

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'I do not understand your question.'

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I haven't got the hang of this yet.

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I can hear a hamster-y noise in the wall.

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There's no such thing as a hamster-y noise.

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-You should check it out.

-Thank you, Karen.

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Well, I'll just rip out the fitted kitchen, shall I, in the search for dead,

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domesticated vermin?

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You shouldn't talk to her like that.

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-It is OK, it's what he does.

-Look, Karen,

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I'm sorry, but he's gone.

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Hiya!

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Hi. How was your dad this morning?

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Yeah, yeah, a lot better. Sitting up. Eating.

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Did you mention to the staff about the Britain's Got Talent thing?

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Britain's Got Talent?

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Why he confuses Amanda Holden with Eva Braun, I have absolutely no idea,

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but it is safer to keep him out of the TV room on a Saturday night.

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-Where's everyone else?

-All still asleep.

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Teenagers, eh?

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I wasn't including Tommy in that, by the way!

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Just Ben, Jake and Stacey.

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Tommy's obviously not even close to being a teenager.

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You can't help yourself, can you? CUTLERY CLATTERS

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Look, for the sake of your dad,

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it is very important that you don't get into a...confrontation.

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You were worse than me last time!

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-The time before?

-Oh, not that again?!

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Honestly, you kick your sister up the arse at a wedding once,

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and no-one lets you forget it.

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What?

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Well, I thought I heard scratching above the oven.

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That's autosuggestion. He's not there.

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Hello, star.

0:12:280:12:29

-I'm not playing Spartacus tonight.

-What?

0:12:290:12:31

The dress rehearsal was awful.

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Well, it can't have been that bad.

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I walked across the sea, I poked the pianist in the eye with the trident

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and I fell off the cross. I'm not doing it.

0:12:380:12:40

Ben!

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Ben.

0:12:430:12:44

Ben, look, it is perfectly natural to be nervous before a big show like this,

0:12:440:12:48

but you know what they say?

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Once you've fallen off the horse, you have to get straight back on.

0:12:490:12:52

-How did you know I fell off a horse?

-You fell off a horse?

0:12:520:12:54

Yeah! Zach and Ibrahim, they were having a fight inside the costume.

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-Well, look, anyway...

-How did the dress rehearsal go, Ben?

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-Yeah, great.

-Oh, fantastic.

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You're going to be fab!

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But I need to go and google Greece some more.

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Did you know they invented civilisation?

0:13:060:13:09

Hats off to the Greeks, eh!

0:13:100:13:11

Listen, you are the lead. You can't...

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I'm not doing it!

0:13:150:13:17

-Have you seen my phone?

-No. Angela, listen,

0:13:170:13:21

there is a serious problem with Dad and the home.

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-All his savings have run out.

-They can't all have gone.

0:13:240:13:26

Hey, guys.

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And as we're quite stretched,

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what we'd like to suggest is that we go half-and-half.

0:13:290:13:33

Oh. Now I see.

0:13:330:13:37

That's why you tricked me into coming over.

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No, we didn't!

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But surely if his money's run out, the Government will pay.

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They've got to do that.

0:13:440:13:45

Well, possibly, but then we'd have to move him

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out of the place he's in and into a cheaper home and that...

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Look, I care about him as much as you.

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But what difference does it make where he lives, if he doesn't know who anybody is?!

0:13:530:13:56

Well, he does, because he called you Ange.

0:13:560:13:58

Yeah, but...

0:13:580:14:00

That's not very helpful at the moment. The point is...

0:14:000:14:02

I don't know why you put him in there in the first place. It's depressing.

0:14:020:14:05

-Full of all those old people.

-It's an old people's home.

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You can't have an old people's home without old people.

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- It's creepy. - It was kind of creepy.

0:14:110:14:13

Look, the point is...

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So, Pete, I think we're just going to have to

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trust in the mercy of the Lord on this one.

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I don't think the home will accept that as collateral!

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You know, what's great is that you guys are all talking.

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-FRONT DOOR SLAMS

-Oh, great!

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-Now she's gone out.

-No, that was Ben.

0:14:390:14:41

He's having a meltdown. He's gone for a walk.

0:14:410:14:44

He's probably exaggerating. He couldn't have been that bad.

0:14:440:14:48

No, he was. I've been on Facebook.

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But people like these little mistakes in a school production!

0:14:500:14:52

Mum, when the Romans asked, "Which one of you is Spartacus?"

0:14:520:14:56

all the other gladiators just pointed at him.

0:14:560:14:58

Can you change the channel, please?

0:15:000:15:02

The guy with the vegetable nose is freaking me out.

0:15:020:15:05

That's Bob The Builder

0:15:070:15:08

-and Spud's supposed to have a carrot nose, because he's a scarecrow.

-Bob!

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I don't know why they even show people with vegetable noses on TV.

0:15:130:15:16

It is not natural. Can you change the channel, please?

0:15:160:15:18

Bob.

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-Angela, I know you're hiding in there.

-I have very little, Sue.

0:15:220:15:25

I'm like a gypsy just wandering from place to place.

0:15:250:15:28

You've got all this stuff.

0:15:280:15:31

-A big house.

-A big second mortgage.

0:15:310:15:34

Come on, Angela.

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50-50.

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You know you were always his favourite.

0:15:370:15:40

Look, Sue!

0:15:400:15:41

SHE SCREAMS

0:15:410:15:42

Oh, Jesus, Sue!

0:15:420:15:44

There's a rat in your bathroom! It came up at the hole behind the toilet!

0:15:440:15:47

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Are you sure it wasn't a hamster?

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Well, it didn't have its bloody wheel!

0:15:490:15:51

I forgot my keys.

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Are you OK?

0:15:560:15:57

Ben.

0:15:580:15:59

I have heard you rehearse all the songs

0:16:010:16:03

and you are really good!

0:16:030:16:07

Mr Wilson, four doors down, he said you have a very distinctive voice.

0:16:070:16:14

I know all the lines and it's just when I try and say them, my brain just stops

0:16:140:16:20

like a frozen laptop and I can't just turn myself off and on again.

0:16:200:16:24

Well...

0:16:240:16:25

Everyone I know is going to be there -

0:16:250:16:27

you, Stacey. The school magazine is going to write a review on it.

0:16:270:16:32

You mustn't worry about the critics.

0:16:320:16:34

Every interview you read with an actor before a brilliant performance,

0:16:340:16:39

they're always worried that they're going to get crucified.

0:16:390:16:41

Well, I am going to get crucified.

0:16:410:16:43

If I don't fall off the cross again. I'm not going to do this.

0:16:430:16:47

Well, that's a big decision, and it's your decision.

0:16:470:16:49

But you need to tell Mr Farthingwell.

0:16:490:16:51

Can you ring him for me?

0:16:530:16:55

No. You have to ring him.

0:16:550:16:57

Are you all right, Auntie?

0:17:010:17:02

I've got to get out of this rat-infested house.

0:17:020:17:05

Your mum and dad, well, they just keep having a go at me.

0:17:050:17:09

I think they're right about Grandad and the money for the home.

0:17:090:17:12

Oh, Jake, you're turning into them.

0:17:120:17:15

God, you really do need to get away.

0:17:150:17:18

Travel the world.

0:17:180:17:19

Work as a cowboy. Swim the Bosphorus.

0:17:190:17:22

Have your heart broken by a knife-thrower's assistant.

0:17:220:17:26

Yeah, that does all sound quite dangerous.

0:17:260:17:29

Where are you going on your gap year?

0:17:290:17:31

Um... Well, I'm not.

0:17:310:17:33

Is this them stopping you?

0:17:330:17:34

No, only because Mum thought I shouldn't...

0:17:340:17:36

- Right. - No. Auntie...!

0:17:360:17:38

I'm sorry, I just can't, Mr Farthingwell.

0:17:380:17:41

She's just going to keep running away.

0:17:410:17:43

What in God's name are we going to do now?

0:17:430:17:45

'I do not understand the question.'

0:17:450:17:47

You are a menace with that thing!

0:17:470:17:50

-You've got to let Jake go on a gap year.

-What?

0:17:500:17:52

-Why are we suddenly talking about this?

-Let him live!

0:17:520:17:55

I never said that you'd stopped me going.

0:17:550:17:56

Travel is the best degree you can get.

0:17:560:17:58

Well, to employers, it's the equivalent of sociology at Bolton.

0:17:580:18:01

Oh, your world is so tiny.

0:18:010:18:04

Everyone should have a gap year!

0:18:040:18:05

Your whole life is a gap year!

0:18:050:18:07

You see, Jake, you've got to escape these mediocrities.

0:18:070:18:12

They're not mediocre. They're...

0:18:120:18:13

ordinary.

0:18:130:18:16

Thank you. I think?

0:18:160:18:19

Look, we...

0:18:190:18:20

-I spoke to Mr Farthingwell.

-Yeah?

0:18:200:18:21

I said I'd do it, as long as I don't have to be washed by the handmaidens.

0:18:210:18:24

Oh, that is brilliant!

0:18:240:18:26

Well done, Ben, you will be brilliant tonight.

0:18:260:18:28

I've been sick.

0:18:290:18:31

Well, that's perfectly normal. Loads of performers do that before a show.

0:18:320:18:35

In the fireplace.

0:18:350:18:37

Right, well, don't worry,

0:18:370:18:39

-I'll clear that up.

-And at the bottom of the stairs.

0:18:390:18:41

OK. That's fine.

0:18:420:18:45

Look, we have to sort out about Dad.

0:18:450:18:49

-I simply don't have the money.

-You do have the money.

0:18:490:18:52

You flew here club class, Jake found the ticket stubs.

0:18:520:18:57

We were upgraded from premium economy. And now we have to be on our way.

0:18:590:19:02

Angela, you can't keep running away.

0:19:020:19:05

You have a responsibility to your family.

0:19:050:19:07

Why? Why do we have responsibilities to our families?

0:19:070:19:10

Cos they're...there.

0:19:100:19:12

Families are just like strangers you get stuck in a lift with.

0:19:120:19:17

Dad, it might be Tommy. I can hear scratching.

0:19:170:19:20

-Hey, guys.

-We need to pack.

0:19:200:19:22

We're going to the airport.

0:19:220:19:23

Oh, you know what, Angie? I might stay in Europe,

0:19:230:19:27

-do a bit of travelling.

-Travelling?

0:19:270:19:29

Yeah.

0:19:290:19:31

Are you cool with that?

0:19:310:19:32

Well, yes. Obviously.

0:19:320:19:35

Travel is the best degree you can get.

0:19:350:19:38

That's so true.

0:19:380:19:39

Um, where were you thinking of going travelling?

0:19:410:19:43

Oh, around Greece, maybe.

0:19:430:19:46

-The same as Stacey?

-Yeah. Yeah,

0:19:460:19:49

I'm just going to take a look around Europe, you know.

0:19:490:19:50

See the Parthenon, the pyramids.

0:19:500:19:53

The pyramids aren't in Europe. They're in Africa.

0:19:530:19:56

Oh, Stacey said they were.

0:19:560:19:58

JAKE: I can see it.

0:19:580:19:59

-Are you sure you're cool with this?

-Absolutely!

0:19:590:20:03

Very cool indeed.

0:20:030:20:05

Totally chilled.

0:20:050:20:07

Perhaps we could discuss this upstairs while I pack.

0:20:070:20:10

Aw, I'm good here.

0:20:100:20:13

Well, I'll be... It is Tommy!

0:20:130:20:15

-It is what?

-Tommy.

0:20:150:20:17

-Yeah?

-Really doesn't matter.

0:20:170:20:20

Angela, you can't just walk away!

0:20:200:20:22

It's not fair, you ambushing me like this!

0:20:220:20:24

Well, it's not fair Dad's in a home!

0:20:240:20:26

It's not fair he doesn't know who I am! It's not fair he's stopped being him!

0:20:260:20:30

What is fair about any of it?!

0:20:300:20:33

'Do you want me to look up Faro boat trips?'

0:20:330:20:35

Could you stop leaning on that effing button?!

0:20:350:20:40

Ange...

0:20:400:20:41

Listen, I am not wired for all of these petty practicalities.

0:20:410:20:44

If he's ill again, don't call me, it doesn't help him.

0:20:440:20:46

Just let me know when it's...

0:20:460:20:47

..when it's all over.

0:20:490:20:50

Tommy, I could always take you to see the pyramids.

0:20:530:20:57

Yeah, thanks, but I...

0:20:570:20:59

I kind of need to do some stuff on my own.

0:20:590:21:01

Yes, of course.

0:21:010:21:03

No problem.

0:21:040:21:06

-Get him?

-Oh...

0:21:060:21:08

We caught Tommy.

0:21:090:21:11

So we can do nothing about my dad...

0:21:120:21:14

..but we do have a hamster.

0:21:160:21:18

Way to go, team.

0:21:180:21:19

Have you caught him?

0:21:190:21:21

Oh, you've caught him! Oh, hi!

0:21:210:21:23

Aw, thank you so much, Dad!

0:21:230:21:27

Aw! Thanks, Jake.

0:21:270:21:30

Oh, Sue, are you feeling left out? Do you want a hug?

0:21:300:21:34

No, you don't, do you?

0:21:340:21:36

-Front row?

-Yeah.

0:21:380:21:40

Otherwise we won't be able to see anything

0:21:400:21:42

when they all start holding their bloody phones up in the air.

0:21:420:21:46

Sorry about earlier, by the way.

0:21:460:21:48

Stacey's Australian, she's used to swearing.

0:21:500:21:52

And the threat you made wasn't really a threat

0:21:520:21:54

because you posed it as a question.

0:21:540:21:58

A rhetorical question, in fact,

0:21:580:21:59

because she wouldn't have wanted you to do what you said.

0:21:590:22:04

Sod the lot of them! I'm...

0:22:040:22:06

Do you know what? I'm just going to sit here

0:22:060:22:08

and I'm going to enjoy watching my son.

0:22:080:22:10

-Um...

-What?

0:22:100:22:13

Well, the word is, Ben's chickened out again.

0:22:130:22:15

-BOTH: Oh...

-But he spoke to Mr Farthingwell.

0:22:150:22:18

Apparently, some kid's going to play Spartacus holding a script.

0:22:180:22:21

Oh, God, no!

0:22:210:22:24

Where's Karen?

0:22:240:22:25

Oh, there you are.

0:22:280:22:29

I'm scared.

0:22:290:22:32

But you like being scared.

0:22:320:22:33

You're the boy who eats cheese just before bed to give himself nightmares.

0:22:330:22:37

Yeah, but those nightmares are in my head.

0:22:390:22:40

Not in front of 300 people and a lady mayoress.

0:22:400:22:45

-Is she the one with the bling?

-Yeah.

0:22:450:22:47

Well, you can't wuss out.

0:22:470:22:49

You know I'll just keep bringing it up in arguments.

0:22:490:22:52

You're making it too easy for me.

0:22:520:22:53

Well, Spartacus, I think you should do it.

0:22:570:23:00

-Why?

-Because you'll be good.

0:23:000:23:02

Have you ever said anything nice to me before?

0:23:040:23:08

No.

0:23:100:23:11

I don't think I have.

0:23:110:23:12

Better try and find Ben.

0:23:140:23:16

What next?

0:23:160:23:17

A plague of locusts? Frogs raining down?

0:23:170:23:21

What's this?

0:23:210:23:22

Auntie Angela said to give it to you.

0:23:220:23:24

Once she was airborne.

0:23:240:23:26

It's a cheque.

0:23:270:23:28

Bloody hell!

0:23:280:23:29

God, that's going to keep Dad going for ages. But...

0:23:290:23:33

I had a word with her. I've set her straight.

0:23:330:23:34

-Why has she done this?

-Well, she's paying us off

0:23:340:23:36

so she doesn't have to see him again and be reminded that she's next in line.

0:23:360:23:39

Did she say that?

0:23:390:23:40

No, but I am doing A-level psychology.

0:23:400:23:43

How?

0:23:430:23:44

Ladies and gentlemen, I just need to make an announcement about a late change.

0:23:470:23:53

This is it.

0:23:530:23:55

The sea battle now involves strobe lighting,

0:23:550:23:59

so, um,

0:23:590:24:00

please be aware if you're prone to fits.

0:24:000:24:03

Also, anyone with a fear of crocodiles

0:24:030:24:06

should probably miss the start of part two. Enjoy the show.

0:24:060:24:11

BUGLE BLOWS

0:24:120:24:14

APPLAUSE

0:24:140:24:16

BOYS: Behold, Spartacus.

0:24:160:24:18

It's stuck.

0:24:180:24:19

-Push it!

-I am pushing!

0:24:190:24:22

GROANING

0:24:240:24:25

Who will pay to see me fight? APPLAUSE

0:24:260:24:29

I told him Stacey would be horribly disappointed if he didn't go on.

0:24:370:24:40

-She's not coming now.

-He doesn't know that.

0:24:400:24:43

Sorry.

0:24:440:24:45

Well, that's the answer to our problems.

0:24:450:24:48

Just let the kids sort everything out.

0:24:480:24:51

ALL: Who will pay to see him fight?

0:24:510:24:56

CHEERING

0:24:560:24:58

GROANING

0:25:030:25:05

LAUGHTER

0:25:060:25:08

CHEERING

0:25:090:25:12

GROANING

0:25:120:25:13

CHEERING Go on! Do it!

0:25:210:25:24

CHEERING

0:25:250:25:28

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:280:25:31

Oh, no. Vesuvius has erupted!

0:25:320:25:36

Run for your lives!

0:25:400:25:42

Calm down! It's only a volcano!

0:25:520:25:55

Sorry.

0:25:570:25:58

What about now, Lavinia? Will you kiss me now?

0:25:580:26:01

WOLF WHISTLING AND WHOOPING

0:26:020:26:06

APPLAUSE

0:26:080:26:10

# No, I'm not a liar

0:26:100:26:11

# We'll beat you like Hannibal Your legions are tired

0:26:110:26:15

# And your warships are rammable

0:26:150:26:17

# We're not for hire and we're just not bannable

0:26:170:26:20

# Our hearts are on fire And your houses are flammable

0:26:200:26:24

ALL: # So listen up

0:26:240:26:25

# Don't make a fuss

0:26:250:26:27

# And know his name is Spartacus. #

0:26:270:26:32

APPLAUSE

0:26:330:26:35

Which of you is Spartacus?

0:26:350:26:37

I am Spartacus.

0:26:370:26:39

No, I'm Spartacus.

0:26:390:26:41

No, I am Spartacus. No, sorry.

0:26:410:26:44

# OK, we lost, but we invented liberty

0:26:460:26:51

# OK, there's a cost but one day you'll all be free

0:26:510:26:57

# Then you won't be bossed

0:26:570:27:00

# Just wait and you will see

0:27:000:27:03

# Sunrays melt the frost

0:27:030:27:05

# The rulers will be you and me

0:27:050:27:09

# We're the question

0:27:090:27:10

# We're the answer

0:27:100:27:11

# We're the music

0:27:110:27:13

# We're the dancer

0:27:130:27:14

# We're the earth, the sky, the sea

0:27:140:27:16

# We're something new

0:27:160:27:19

# We're liberty

0:27:190:27:24

# Black or white

0:27:250:27:26

# Yellow, brown

0:27:260:27:28

# Gay, straight or in between

0:27:280:27:30

# Rich, poor, from field or town

0:27:300:27:33

# Old or young, or just a teen

0:27:330:27:36

# No-one will be a slave

0:27:360:27:38

# No-one will make a fuss

0:27:380:27:41

# Freedom is born today, today

0:27:410:27:47

# Let's thank him, Spartacus

0:27:470:27:52

# Let's thank him, Spartacus. #

0:27:520:27:57

Thank him, Spartacus!

0:28:010:28:03

Yes!

0:28:030:28:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE More!

0:28:050:28:08

More!

0:28:120:28:13

Yes!

0:28:130:28:16

CHEERING

0:28:170:28:21

More!

0:28:210:28:23

More!

0:28:230:28:25

# OK, we lost

0:28:250:28:27

# But we invented liberty

0:28:270:28:30

# OK, there's a cost

0:28:300:28:32

# But one day you'll all be free

0:28:320:28:36

# Then you won't be bossed

0:28:360:28:38

# Just you wait and you will see Sunrays melt the frost

0:28:380:28:43

# The rulers will be you and me

0:28:430:28:46

# Freedom is born today

0:28:460:28:50

# Today

0:28:500:28:52

# Let's thank him, Spartacus. #

0:28:520:28:57

Thank him, Spartacus!

0:28:570:29:00

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