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It's because of you, our teachers, that every recreation class | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
in this catalogue shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
Excuse me? Are you cutting our classes? | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
Yeah. The city took away 1,000 from our budget. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:23 | |
So, I'm very sorry. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:24 | |
How will you decide which classes to cut? | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
By attendance and student evaluations. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
So, just make sure your students leave with a smile. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
My class is called "Coping with Terminal Illness." | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
Hopefully your attendance is good! | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
Actually, no, hopefully it's bad. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
'Nobody's more upset about this than me.' | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
I've been taking these rec centre classes since I was in high school. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
It's where I learned hair braiding, and how to make biscuits. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
French kissing. | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
The French kissing was from a boy in my biscuits class, | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
but either way, lesson learned! | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
Oh, my God! You have never been to Carnival? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
I want to go! | 0:01:17 | 0:01:18 | |
We have to get tickets in February to go to Rio de Janeiro, Leslie Knope. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:22 | |
OK. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
'I am on a date with Justin in Indianapolis.' | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
We've only been out a few times, | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
but every one of them has been amazing. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
Cheers. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:30 | |
'Last time, we had a private tour' | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
'and cocktails at the Indianapolis Aquarium.' | 0:01:32 | 0:01:35 | |
-That fish over there kind of reminds me of my mom. -Why? | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
It's just being really withholding. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
Justin is definitely the most interesting guy I've ever dated. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
All I did was a little paperwork. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
He's being modest. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:46 | |
It is thanks to him my family remains in this country. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
-And it was all pro bono. -Oh, Justin. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
You've got to try this. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
-Oh, that's really good! -Isn't it great? | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
It's camel stomach. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
-Is it? -I'm teasing! I'm teasing. It's chicken. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
Would you like to try the camel stomach? | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
No. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:06 | |
This is me. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
So, when am I going to see you again? | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Oh! You know what, I'm going to be near Pawnee on Tuesday. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
Excellent, yeah. I'll plan something exciting. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
In fact, our date in Pawnee will blow Indianapolis out of the water. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:22 | |
All right. I'm going to hold you to that. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
-Good! You better. -I will! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:27 | |
I've racked my brain and I can't come up with one exciting idea. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
I mean, he once ate fried cockatoo | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
with a member of the Thai royal family. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
Well, maybe just have him over, cook him some chicken, and tell him it's Pawnee cockatoo. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:43 | |
A dinner party! That's genius. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
I'll invite all my most interesting friends over, | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
we'll have this big rambling party. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
No, I actually meant more like a one-on-one thing. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
I know, but I took your idea and I made it better. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
It's called a think tank, Ann. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:55 | |
-What is? -Our lunches. Our lunches are like think tanks. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
OK, I want you to come over to my house at 2:00 and help me get ready. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
And make sure that Mark is coming. So much work to do! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
You're my best friend. Now, get out of here! | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
How many courses will there be? | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
-Three. -Hmm. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
-Four. -Hm. -Not including dessert. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
So, five courses. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
Yes. Now, it will be five courses. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, | 0:03:17 | 0:03:21 | |
but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
can you guarantee fridge space? | 0:03:23 | 0:03:26 | |
Just be there at 8:00. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
Oh, hey, Tom! I'm having an A-list dinner party for Justin. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
And you, out of all my friends, | 0:03:31 | 0:03:32 | |
come from the most distant and exotic land. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
South Carolina? | 0:03:34 | 0:03:35 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:03:35 | 0:03:36 | |
Save it for the party! Can you make it? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
For Justin? Are you kidding? I'm there. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
Just don't invite any boring people like Jerry. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
-What are you guys talking about? -Nothing. -Don't worry about it. -What? | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
-Leslie. -Hey! -Hey! Check it out. Just practising. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:52 | |
Isn't that polish going to get on people's butts when they sit down? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
No. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
-OK, listen. I'm having a party. -Mmm-hmm. | 0:03:57 | 0:03:58 | |
And I thought maybe you could help me with serving and taking people's coats. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:02 | |
I'd pay you, like, 10 bucks an hour. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:03 | |
My guardian angel! I would love to! Who's going to be there? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Really fun people. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
-Ron, Tom, Mark and Ann. -CLEARS THROAT | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
That's great. What's the occasion? | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
Justin is coming to town. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:14 | |
Hey, it's me, Justin. Take my coat. But please, be careful. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
I got it from the king of Africa when we were walking on the Berlin Wall together. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:24 | |
Really, Justin? What instruments do you play? | 0:04:24 | 0:04:28 | |
Actually, he's a pretty sick keyboardist. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:32 | |
Good. I'm good to go. That sounds great. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
-Great. All right. -I'll see you there. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
-Afternoon, Andy. -Hi, Kyle. You know, way before you sat down, | 0:04:36 | 0:04:43 | |
I noticed, did you have some kind of stain on your ass, or something? | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
-What was that? -What? | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
No, no, no. You're good. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:50 | |
-Hey, Ann. -Hey! -Welcome to my house, for the very first time. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
I know! I can't believe you've never had me over. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
-Now, I can believe it. -I know, I know. It's a little messy. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
But I have a system. So, I just need you to help me with the finishing touches. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:12 | |
This newspaper's from November, 1986. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
Oh, the first rumblings of Iran-Contra! Don't throw that out! | 0:05:14 | 0:05:18 | |
I think I need to call Child Services | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
and have Leslie taken away from herself. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
Leslie, don't take this the wrong way, | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
but your house is like a crazy person's garage. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:31 | |
What do you need this birdhouse for? | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
Can we get rid of it? | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
-I might need it. -What about this one? | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
Well, if two birds come along? Leslie... | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
Andy's going to come over soon, he can help us with all this stuff. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
Andy? No. No, no, no. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:48 | |
You need a team of professionals to help. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
I have an idea. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
Hi, is this Maria Portlesman | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
from Organise Your Life with Maria Portlesman? | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
-April, come here. -What? -Shake my hand. -Why? | 0:06:03 | 0:06:06 | |
I can't tell if I've exfoliated too much. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:10 | |
I don't want to creep Justin out. I want him to respect my handshake. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
-Why do you care about him? -Justin is hip. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
Pawnee is the opposite of hip. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
I don't have the heart to tell them what's going to happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
Hey, Justin. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
Ew! It's like touching raw chicken. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:28 | |
Damn it. Going to have to re-foliate them. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
I'll need some help moving the boxes, but...it's doable. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:37 | |
Oh, thank God. How much do I owe you? | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
Please, no charge. I just appreciate the chance | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
to demonstrate how valuable my class is to the rec centre. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:46 | |
And I hope you'll keep that in mind. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
Oh! No, no, I insist on paying. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
Oh, no, no, I insist on demonstrating. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
-This will not affect my decision at all. -Oh, of course not. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Stop winking. | 0:06:58 | 0:06:59 | |
Hey, Leslie, I forgot to ask you. What are you cooking? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
-Five courses. -Of what? | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
-Huh? -Of what? | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
Oh, God... | 0:07:07 | 0:07:08 | |
VEGETABLE CHOPPING | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
So, how's it looking? It smells great. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:14 | |
OK, the appetizers are almost ready. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
And they're a very good sampling of what my level one class does, | 0:07:15 | 0:07:19 | |
which I hope you'll keep in mind when you're making your decisions. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:22 | |
Tania, like I said over the phone... | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
I know. It won't influence your decision. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
But learning to cook is very important in this day and age. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
Is it? | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
-Hey, Andy. -Hey! | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Are you going to be all right, tonight? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
What? Cos of Mark and Justin? | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
They are just guests at a really awesome dinner party. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
And I will treat them as such. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:42 | |
-That sounds very professional. -Thank you. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
-unless they should request that I do. -Good. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
Did I do this right? | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
-I don't know. -DOORBELL | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
-Oh, hey, Mark. -Hey. -Welcome to my humble abode. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
Well, thank you. Whoa! This is way cleaner than the last time I was here. | 0:07:56 | 0:08:01 | |
You've been here? | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Right. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:05 | |
When was Mark here before? | 0:08:05 | 0:08:08 | |
Oh...! Sex. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
'I can't wait to talk to Justin again.' | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
Last time he told me about how he snorkelled with whale sharks in Madagascar. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:18 | |
That was after I told him that I sometimes go swimming at the Y. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:23 | |
Oh, thank you, son. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
Leslie Knope. I believe you've arranged accommodations for these. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Yes, I have. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:30 | |
Hey, Ron Swanson. You didn't happen to hear about the incident with Mayor Gunderson's dog, did you? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
-My God. It was a blood bath. -No, no, no, no talking! | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
Everybody stop talking until Justin gets here. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
Don't use up your stories. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
Somebody from Animal Services is going to get canned. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
Oh, my God. What part of not talking do you not understand? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:48 | |
Please, have a good time and shut your mouth. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
'I just want this dinner party to go well.' | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
There are very few things I've asked for in this world. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
To build a new park from scratch. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
To eventually become president. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:57 | |
And to one day solve a murder on a train. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
I think it's fair to add this to the list. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
EVERYONE CHATS EASILY | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
-DOORBELL -Guys! Justin's here! That's Justin! | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
Everybody, start talking. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:08 | |
-Hey! -Hey. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:17 | |
Sorry I'm a little bit late. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:18 | |
It's OK. Welcome to my very interesting party. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:22 | |
Andy Dwyer! Can't wait to catch up with this guy. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
All right, Justin. May I take your coat, sir? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
Why, yeah. Thank you. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
I'm going to get to hang out with all your friends tonight. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
It's going to be super fun! It's going to be a blast. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:35 | |
Like the best, most exciting night of your life. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
I cannot over-hype it enough. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
-All right. -OK! -Let's get started! -OK! -Good. -Yeah. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
-'Sup, J? -How you doing, man? | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
-How are you. I'm Justin... -I have the swine flu. -Oh. -No, she doesn't! | 0:09:44 | 0:09:48 | |
-Yo. -Yo. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Is that Justin's coat? | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
Oh, yeah. Isn't it awesome? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:55 | |
He got it in Cambodia, when he was hiking Mount Everest. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
-Let's put chewed up gum in his pockets. -That's genius. But I can't. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
Leslie's being super cool to me, | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
and I can't screw over her boyfriend's jacket. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
I'll do it when you're not in the room then. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
That would be terrible. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
I'm being sarcastic. That would be awesome. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
God, India is so amazing. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:16 | |
Let me tell you something. That is my absolute favourite place to travel. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
Where did you say your parents were from? | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
The south part. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
The southern part's always the best part of anything. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
Have you ever been to the Kaniman Mosque? Down in Tamil Nadu? | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
Are you kidding? My uncle practically runs the place. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
I've prayed there. It's sick. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
Tell me everything, right now. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
One sec, I just got to hit the loo, | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
as those bastard British imperialists would say! | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Last time I was in India, I was eight years old | 0:10:42 | 0:10:45 | |
and I stayed inside the whole time playing video games. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
I got to bone up. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
Fourth largest coal reserves in the world. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
This is the best old-fashioned I have ever had. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
Where'd you find this bartender? | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
Oh... I think... I don't know. Like, maybe the Yellow Pages. | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
There's no way you're paying him enough. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
If you want, I could teach you the secret to great... | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
Shst! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
-Leslie. -Ann, get over here! | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
I'm here. Already. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:10 | |
Good. OK, do you think this party's going well? | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Can you see Justin? Is he having fun? | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
Justin is over there talking to Mark. Happily. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
OK, good. Yeah, good. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:20 | |
I'm just going to casually make my... | 0:11:20 | 0:11:23 | |
So my face is literally on fire, | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
but it's this weird chemical, so no-one can see the flames. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:30 | |
I'm dancing around, freaking out. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
I end up having to dunk my face into a bucket of sand. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:36 | |
-Unreal! -Unreal! | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
-Oh, my God, that is unbelievable. -Isn't it, Ann? Unbelievable. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
Didn't happen to me. It was a kid I knew from camp. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:44 | |
But a great story's a great story. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
Plus, the kid can't tell it - his mouth melted. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Dinner is served! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Oh! Excellent! | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
-Hi. -Oh. I'm sorry, are we late? | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
What the hell are you doing? | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
He's going to wrap her up in his moustache and take her home! | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
We agreed that we should invite interesting people for Justin, | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
and Wendy is an interesting person! | 0:12:13 | 0:12:14 | |
I've been telling you for weeks that you should tell her how you feel. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
-Now's your chance! -Oh, yeah. That makes sense. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
No, it doesn't! Not cool, at all! | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
He'll get over it. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
No, I won't. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:27 | |
The first course is a Mexican bean soup. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:31 | |
Are these peppers for consuming? | 0:12:31 | 0:12:35 | |
I wouldn't. They're very hot. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
I'm going to give it a try. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
Mm. Hot. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
You're very brave. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
Please, that was one of the tiny ones. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
# This is how you eat it! # | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
Don't do that, Tom! | 0:12:48 | 0:12:49 | |
(BLEEP!) | 0:12:52 | 0:12:53 | |
This is something, Justin. Derek and Ben are gay, | 0:12:57 | 0:13:02 | |
but often, on occasion, April will have relations with Derek. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:06 | |
Right? Crazy stuff. Discuss that. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:09 | |
There's not much more to discuss. You kind of explained it all. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:14 | |
Who else is gay? | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
Tom, I need your help. There was a lull. I saw Justin yawn. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
Please tell me that yawning is a sign of excitement in India or something. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:24 | |
-Tom, focus! -Argh..! -God, you're no help! | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
Yes, just to be clear, this will in no way influence me. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:30 | |
It won't affect my decision. And it has no bearing on the future of your class. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:34 | |
Hey, little buddy! Everything OK? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
That took a long time. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Poor Tommy. He has a very frail colon. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
I feel your pain, brother. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:43 | |
The hottest thing I ever put into my mouth was in this remote village in Southern Brazil. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
-This sounds good. -Yeah. They take a little bit of scorpion poison and they serve... | 0:13:46 | 0:13:50 | |
-DOORBELL -I wonder who that is! | 0:13:50 | 0:13:53 | |
-Who could that be? -More people? | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
A belly dancer? | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
What...?! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
It's weird, but she just showed up. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:04 | |
'I mean, I'm not the kind of person | 0:14:04 | 0:14:05 | |
'that's going to throw someone out, | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
'or, you know, not let them in if they randomly show up.' | 0:14:07 | 0:14:11 | |
'I don't know how they all got here.' | 0:14:11 | 0:14:16 | |
'You know, people hear about a killer party at Knope's house,' | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
they all come a-running. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:23 | |
You don't do origami every day, do ya? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
They brought in a little entertainment, thank God. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
That Justin, he's so boring. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
What are you talking about? He's incredible. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
Yeah. He's not gay, but if he were, | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
I would totally break up with Ben for him. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
Yeah, I would understand. He's amazing, right, April? | 0:14:37 | 0:14:40 | |
"Right, April?" Don't we love him? | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
Yeah. He's actually kind of awesome. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:46 | |
You're underage. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
-I could lose my liquor licence, I'm sorry. -Andy. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
Hey. Are you having fun? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
All I can say is, this is not what I was expecting. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
DOORBELL | 0:14:57 | 0:14:58 | |
-I cannot believe there's more. -There's not. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Miss Knopes, I understand that you're currently evaluating | 0:15:02 | 0:15:07 | |
-the rec centre teachers. -You're doing what? Leslie? | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
I demand an evaluation. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
OK. What course do you teach? | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
When it comes to choosing accounting software, | 0:15:15 | 0:15:18 | |
there's no...Accounting...for taste. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:22 | |
The advantage of QuickBooks Pro | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
is that it's easy to assemble a list of vendors... | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
Well, this is great. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
I'm heading home, so as not to have to be here any more. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:33 | |
My office, first thing tomorrow. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
Yeah, I think we're probably going to take off, too. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
The demonstration takes another 45 minutes. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:41 | |
Yeah, guys, please. Everybody, can you just stay? OK? | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
Justin, would you... | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
(Oh, my God...) | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
I promise you, Miss Knope, this disciplinary committee will go over | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
every detail of what happened last night. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
And we will determine whether you are guilty of abusing your power. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
Do you have anything to say before we begin? | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
Just that I am looking forward to the truth coming out. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:04 | |
I would like to say that Leslie is incapable | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
of using people for her own gain. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
Thank you, Tom. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
But I can't, because Leslie loves using people for her own gain. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
If I may, Phil, I'd like to say something to Tom on the record. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
This has all been on the record. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
I'm very sorry that I invited Wendy to the party. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
-Is Wendy one of the teachers? -No, she's my soon-to-be ex-wife. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
And hopefully-then-to-be future-wife. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
Look, I'm really sorry. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
I put a new romance in front of an old friendship. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:35 | |
-OK. -I put a beautiful man in front of an adorable man-child. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
You're ruining it. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
I put a big white stallion in front of a little brown pony. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
Totally uncalled for. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:44 | |
Ron Swanson will be next. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
When it comes to government hearings, | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
the only type of witness I enjoy being is a hostile one. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
That's why I intend to answer every one of their questions | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
with a question. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
Were you aware that all of the entertainment and food was provided by rec centre teachers? | 0:16:58 | 0:17:03 | |
Would I have stayed if I knew that? | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
I don't know, would you have? | 0:17:06 | 0:17:07 | |
Would you have? | 0:17:07 | 0:17:08 | |
No. I wouldn't have. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
Did you hear Leslie make any promises? | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
What constitutes a promise? | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
-A quid pro quo. -Oh! Do you know Latin? | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
OK. Thank you, Ron. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
Are we done? | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
Can I get a shine? | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
Oh. No. I'm sorry. We're closed, due to betrayment. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:31 | |
Well, I'm sorry. But I don't know what you're talking about. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
Why don't you ask your new best friend, whose...name...is... | 0:17:33 | 0:17:38 | |
-Justin? -..Justin! | 0:17:38 | 0:17:39 | |
Yes. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
I would, but he's probably too busy | 0:17:41 | 0:17:46 | |
cleaning gum out of his coat pockets. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
Wow. Unbetrayed. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
So, you don't work for the government and you had no idea | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
that these people were teachers from the local rec centre? | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
No. I was simply attending a dinner party at my friend's house. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:03 | |
Why is he here, Miss Knope? | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
That will become clear. Mr Anderson, could you please describe that evening? | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
Well, I had a very pleasant time. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
And from my perspective, there was no abuse of power with respect to Miss Knope | 0:18:11 | 0:18:15 | |
-and any of her various guests. -Could you define pleasant? | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
Did you have a good time? Did you have a great time? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Be specific, and do remember that you're under oath. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
I had an amazing time. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
But...you fell asleep. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:27 | |
Oh, God. I'm so sorry. You know, look, | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
I'd been given a case the night before, so I had to stay up | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
working and I didn't want to cancel. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
I would've rescheduled. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:34 | |
Are you kidding me? I was looking forward to it. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
I had an awesome time which had nothing | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
to do with the rec centre teachers. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
No further questions. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
OK. We're going to take a break, | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
and we'll let you know what we decide in about an hour. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
Great. I will see you later. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
I'm in the middle of official business, so I can't talk about it right now. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:55 | |
-OK. -But, yes, yes, you will. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
So, did you get that? He said amazing and awesome. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
So, I'm going to drive up and see him next weekend. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
There's some Kabuki theatre festival happening. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
Great. You're so relaxed. You're not freaking out about this at all? | 0:19:09 | 0:19:13 | |
OK, Leslie. We've reached our decision. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
We're not going to take any further action at this time. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
Thank you. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:19 | |
It really helped that you asked for this hearing yourself. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
And that you made financial restitution out of your own pocket. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
But I think we both know you skirted a line here. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:30 | |
You turned yourself in? Why? | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
Well, I did something wrong, and I felt bad. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
So, this morning I donated 1,000 to the rec centre, | 0:19:35 | 0:19:39 | |
so everybody could keep teaching their classes. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
OK, so why did you ask for the hearing? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
Are you kidding, Ann? | 0:19:43 | 0:19:44 | |
It's every girl's dream to ask a dude how their date went under penalty of perjury! | 0:19:44 | 0:19:48 | |
I'm not proud of my actions. But the most important thing is, | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
there is now an official government document | 0:19:51 | 0:19:53 | |
that proves my dinner party kicked ass! | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
Tommy Hav. | 0:19:58 | 0:19:59 | |
J Train! What's up, brother? | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
This might be none of my business, | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
but you need to ask Wendy out. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:06 | |
For reals, this time. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
-Did Leslie tell you? -You. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
She didn't need to. I saw it. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
I'm not gay, but you're the most incredible man I've ever met. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:19 | |
That doesn't sound gay, at all. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
-See you around. -Take care. -Bye, brother. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
Sure you don't want to hang out for a minute? | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 |