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-If you look inside your bags, you will find a few things. A bouquet of hand-crocheted flower pens... -Oh! | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
A mosaic portrait of each of you | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
made from the crushed bottles of your favourite diet soda, | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
and a personalized 5,000-word essay | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
of why you are all so awesome. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
What's Galentine's Day?! Oh, it's only the best day of the year! | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
Every February 13th, my lady friends and I | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
and we come and kick it breakfast style. Ladies celebrating ladies. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
It's like Lilith Fair minus the angst. Plus frittatas. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:35 | |
So to conclude our Galentine's Day breakfast, | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
it is time for the greatest story ever told. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
What's the story? | 0:00:42 | 0:00:43 | |
It's the most romantic story ever. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
It makes The Notebook look like Saw V. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
Go, Mom, go. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:50 | |
It was 1968. I was 18 | 0:00:50 | 0:00:53 | |
and our family went on a vacation to Bermuda. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:56 | |
And on the first day, I went for a swim in the ocean. | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
And I got caught in a very strong current. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
-SHE GASPS -You've heard this story before, right? | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
-Yes, but the drama. -The next thing I felt | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
were two very powerful arms whisking me to safety. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:16 | |
And he looked down at me and he said, | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
"Are you OK?" | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
And I looked up at him and I said, "I am now." | 0:01:21 | 0:01:25 | |
So they sneak out to meet each other and walk on the beach. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
And two weeks later, he asked her | 0:01:29 | 0:01:30 | |
to marry him and move to Illinois. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
But her parents thought she was too young, so she said no. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
And then they lost touch, and a few years later she met my dad! | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
I gotta take one of those lifeguard courses. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
Those guys get all the action. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
-Am I right, Justin? -We gotta find this guy. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
Frank? He's probably married or dead. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
What's the difference? Am I right, Justin? | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
Well, at least let me try and find him. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
Imagine how much better that story would be if we actually reunited them? | 0:01:50 | 0:01:54 | |
I think Justin's right. You should let him do this. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
OK. Do it. But if you find him and he's weird, | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
like a ventriloquist, or a puppeteer, | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
or anyone who pretends toys are people, | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
-then abort the mission. -Absolutely. -Absolutely. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:02:08 | 0:02:09 | |
You, you're the best girlfriend ever. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
Aw! Happy Valentine's Day. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
I knew, eventually, somehow, | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
being in a relationship with you would totally pay off. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
'I bought him some actual towels.' | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
He was using a bathrobe. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
And I bought him some other things | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
that humans usually use, like shampoo. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
Troops, gather around. Great news. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
The Senior Center Valentine's Dance is tomorrow, from 5:00 to 9:00. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
Are we talking AM or PM? Those people are old. Am I right, Justin? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:58 | |
Oh! Justin's not here. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
It isn't just a job, gang. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:01 | |
We're going to learn a lot from these seniors. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
Some of them have been married for half a century. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:07 | |
And no offence, but everybody here is terrible at love. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice, jury's still out on you two. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:17 | |
-And Jerry, who knows. -I've been happily married for 28 years. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
You've met my wife, Gayle, many times. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
Whatever. Finally, Ann and Mark are our special volunteers, | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
and they will be available whenever needed. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
I didn't volunteer. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
Yeah, too bad. You got drafted. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
SHE CHANGES HER ACCENT Ask not what your old people could do for you, | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
ask what you could do for your old people. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
-Terminator. -What? No, JFK. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
AS TERMINATOR This meeting has been terminated. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
THAT'S the Terminator. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:44 | |
-Nice. -Where am I going? | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
-Well, hello there. -Well, hey. I got your message. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:52 | |
-You wanted to talk? -Yes, I do. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
-HE PLAYS HOLD MUSIC Oh. -Have a seat. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
-Mmm. -Some champagne? -Uh, no, thanks. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
Come on. This is Armand de Brignac. Jay-Z drinks this. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Yeah, well, Jay-Z doesn't have to perform surgery in an hour. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
You don't know Jay-Z's schedule. He's a renaissance man. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:11 | |
OK, fine. Well, this is for you. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
Oh! | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
Well, it's almost Valentine's Day, | 0:04:15 | 0:04:16 | |
so I thought it would be a good day to tell you that... | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
OK. Let me just stop you right there. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
Look, Tommy... | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
I just want you to know I'm so grateful | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
for EVERYTHING you did for me, but I only see us as friends. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:36 | |
For now. But think about how much better our friendship would be | 0:04:36 | 0:04:40 | |
if we added doing it. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Seriously, I know our marriage was fake, | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
but there's something between us. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
And I think we should give it a shot, for real. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
I just don't feel that way about you. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
# Each time I do | 0:05:06 | 0:05:07 | |
# Just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin | 0:05:07 | 0:05:13 | |
# I've got you | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
# Under my skin. # | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
So, there's that one, I guess. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:19 | |
OK. You guys sound ready for the dance tomorrow. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
I don't know about these old fogy songs, Leslie. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
Why can't we just do our originals? | 0:05:24 | 0:05:25 | |
I just wrote a new song, OK? | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
Bottom line, it's called Sex Hair. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
It's about how you can tell when someone's just had sex | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
Cos of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
Think of it this way. These songs are exactly | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
like the songs you usually play, | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
except instead of modern rock, | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
they're old jazzy standards from the '40s. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
OK, yeah. You got a point. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
Yeah. You're going to do great. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
All right, guys. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Andy, I've been here for half an hour. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
Can I get my shoes shined? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:55 | |
-Kyle, I'm going to lose my -(BLEEP) -on you if you ask me one more time. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
Found him. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Frank Beckerson, 63. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
Lives in a little town called Bridgeport, Illinois. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
Divorced, no kids, worked as a lifeguard when he was 20. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:12 | |
Ron, I need a half a day off for a secret mission of love. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:18 | |
You're asking my permission to take a nooner? | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
Sure. Well, I don't know. Maybe. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
Justin and I need to go on a romantically-inspired road trip. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
So it is a nooner? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
Well, we're planning to leave around noon, so I'm not quite sure... | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
That's... No, Leslie, that is not a nooner. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:30 | |
I tracked down this old flame of Leslie's mom. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
We're going to go pick him up. We're going to reunite them on Valentine's Day. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:36 | |
Is that a great story or what? | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
Yeah, great story indeed. Enjoy your half day off. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
-Thank you. -Pick you up tomorrow around noon. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
For our nooner. Which is a cute word. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
-Explain it to her later. -Explain what? | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
Happy Valentine's Day! | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
First off, a bear in a paper bag and a heart-shaped balloon. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
-I love bears in bags. -Well, you will like this, then. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:59 | |
Because this is a giant teddy bear holding a red heart. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:04 | |
-Aw! -Festive. What's this? Oh, I don't know. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
It's a heart-shaped box of chocolates. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
That's a dozen red roses in a heart-shaped arrangement. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
-See that? Perfume. For the lady. Yeah. -Ooh! Ooh! | 0:07:12 | 0:07:16 | |
"Yearning, by Dennis Feinstein." | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
Mmm. Ooh! Dennis. No, no, Dennis. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:23 | |
Finally, The Heart of the Ocean. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
Gorgeous. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:27 | |
I never had a chance to get a girl a cliched Valentine's Day gift before. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:34 | |
So I got you all of them. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
Thank you. That was very sweet. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
Do you think they'll get married? | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
Oh, my God, what if they get married? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:44 | |
That would be amazing. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:45 | |
Would I call him "Dad" then? | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
-Hmm. Hmm. -No, that'd be too much. Maybe I'll call him "Pappy." | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
Pop? Poppy? Paw-Paw? | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
-Look at me. I'm getting ahead of myself. -Hey. You never know. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
I'm going to call him "Poo-Paw." | 0:07:58 | 0:08:01 | |
'How often do you get to reunite soul mates?' | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
What if I told you that you could reunite Romeo and Juliet? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
Or Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
Oh, Jen. I really want you to be happy. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
Stay away from John Mayer. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:16 | |
I cannot believe I'm going to meet Frank Beckerson. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
I feel like I've known him my whole life. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
Frank? | 0:08:24 | 0:08:25 | |
My God. Marlene. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
Oh, no. Poo-Paw. Poo-Paw, no. I'm not Marlene. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
Oh! So sorry. I should really wear my glasses. Come on in. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
Frank, I was wondering. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
My mom always said that you wanted to be a lawyer. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
-Did that work out? -No. Never did. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:46 | |
Though I did once act as my own lawyer. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
Oh! I found some old pictures of Marlene and me. Look. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:54 | |
Look how young she is. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
These are amazing. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
Probably shouldn't show you this one. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Ah, lalala! No, thank you. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
Your mom was such a firecracker. Smart, funny, sharp as a tack. Such firm breasts. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:10 | |
Oh, that was inappropriate. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
Wow. I am just, all of a sudden, so nervous to see her again. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:19 | |
I'm going to throw up real quick and then we can leave. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
-Hi. -Hi. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:26 | |
Valentine's bash at The Bulge tonight. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
We can get you a drink bracelet. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
I can't. I've gotta work at the Senior Center Valentine's Day Dance thing. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
That sounds amazing. Can we come? | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
-I guess. I don't know why you would want to. -Because old people are funny. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
Yeah, it'll be like The Golden Girls. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:41 | |
I have to go get ready. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
So, Frank, where have you been for the past 40 years? | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
Oh! You know, here and there. You know? Grenada, for a while. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:51 | |
Then Panama, then Afghanistan. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:55 | |
-So you were in the military? -Nope. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
You know, I always wonder how different my life would've been | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
if your mother had married me. | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
It would've been better. I'll tell you that much. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
HE GASPS | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
Frank? Frank, are you OK? | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
I'm fine. I'm good. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
I am just so nervous to see her. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
There's nothing to be nervous about. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
-Have you got a bag or something? -A what? | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
-Do you have a bag? -I have a purse. -Well, give him the purse then. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
All right! | 0:10:23 | 0:10:24 | |
HE HYPERVENTILATES | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
# You like potato and I like potahto | 0:10:30 | 0:10:33 | |
# You like tomato and I like tomahto | 0:10:33 | 0:10:37 | |
# Potato, potahto Tomato, tomahto | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
# Let's call the whole thing off. # | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Uh... | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
I mean, that sucked, didn't it? | 0:10:46 | 0:10:47 | |
Maybe if you sang it like Louis Armstrong. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
Maybe, yeah. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:51 | |
I mean, here's the thing, though. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
Who is that? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:55 | |
My problem is I don't know how to tell if we're doing good. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
Because when you play a rock show, | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
it's really easy to know if you're doing great | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
because chicks will flash their boobs at you when you're up onstage. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:08 | |
And you're like, "Oh! That must've sounded pretty good." | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
If that happens here, my eyes will fall out of my head and I'll die. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:15 | |
Frank? Frank, are you OK? | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
-Maybe we should... -Yeah. Frank. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
-Frank. -Frank! -Frank. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
# But I can't see anybody but you | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
# Flip flop... # | 0:11:38 | 0:11:39 | |
You know, I might be crazy, but I have this weird suspicion | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
that things are going well with us. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
You know, I have that same suspicion. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
But having never been in something like this before, | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
I feel the need to ask, how am I doing? | 0:11:50 | 0:11:55 | |
-Come on. -No, I'm sort of serious. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:59 | |
All right, fine, forget it. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:01 | |
I'm just saying, you know, it seems to me, on paper, | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
that this thing we have is pretty great. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
Yes, nerd. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:09 | |
On paper, this thing we have is pretty great. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
'Mark is a great boyfriend.' | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
I have no complaints at all. Everything is good. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:18 | |
I don't know. I don't feel right about this. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
Are you kidding me? This is so much fun. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
Look, we took a road trip today. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
We chased your mom's long lost love down a freeway. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
-He's a loon, Justin. -So he freaked out a little bit. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
He got nervous. You would, too. He was fine when we got him back | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
-in the car. -Yeah, well, he cried himself to sleep. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
I mean, I don't know why you're pushing. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
Why do you want him to spend time with my mom? | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
How would that help her? | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
I don't like this. I don't think this is going to work. I'm calling this off. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
Come on. No, no, no. Look, we're here. Let's just see what happens. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
-What happens is, I drive him home. -You need to breathe. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:53 | |
I'm breathing. OK? | 0:12:53 | 0:12:54 | |
Mom. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
Oh! There you are. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
So, what's the big surprise? | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
You going to try to check me into an old folks home? | 0:13:06 | 0:13:09 | |
It's a long story. One that we'd love to tell you over a cup | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
of coffee, somewhere far from this place. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
-Frank. -Hello, Marlene. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:22 | |
My gosh. I can't believe it's really you! | 0:13:22 | 0:13:27 | |
Want to catch up? | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Sure. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
-Oh, boy. -Oh, boy. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Do you think we should stand by... | 0:13:39 | 0:13:43 | |
She's fine. Let's just let this unfold. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
Come here, sonny. Let me tell you about the Civil War. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
Grandpa, leave me alone. You smell like death! | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
I'm going to get some punch. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
Excuse me. You guys are really adorable. It's really nice. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:10 | |
So Leslie's like, "That's it, I'm taking him home." | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
So, we look over, and he's not even in the car anymore. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
-You're kidding. -No. It's insane. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
What does Leslie think about all this? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
Oh, God, Leslie. I don't even know. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:24 | |
I think I just lost track of her in all the chaos. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
Anyway, so, now he and Marlene | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
are off somewhere, doing God knows what. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
-I don't want to... -THEY LAUGH | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
-You're suing me for alimony? -Yes. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:41 | |
When we were married, I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
And I'm entitled to money to maintain that lifestyle. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
-This is insane. -Yeah, it's insane, but it's all I got. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
And you can make it all go away if you just gave me a chance. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:54 | |
-What?! -Three dates. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:55 | |
One date. | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
Coffee? | 0:15:00 | 0:15:01 | |
So your plan was to sue me, | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
and then to use that to blackmail me into falling in love with you. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
Yeah. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
Hey. You guys sound good. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
You really think so? It's impossible to tell. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:23 | |
It's like Bizarro Land out there. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
As soon as we finish a song, it's dead silence. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Well, what do you expect, you know. They're like a million years old. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
Well, I'm glad you like it. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
You were always a big supporter of the band. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
Hey. Break's over. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:35 | |
Ludgate, cracking the whip. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Yeah, well, these old bags paid for some entertainment. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
-So get up there. -No, you're right. OK. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
-Hey, you should play that song The Way You Look Tonight. -Hmm. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:47 | |
-It's a good one. -The next one's going out to a | 0:15:47 | 0:15:50 | |
special little lady named April Ludgate. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
# Someday | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
# When I'm all alone... # | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Are you guys... Never mind. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
-Why do you care? -I don't. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:09 | |
# Just thinking of you | 0:16:09 | 0:16:13 | |
# And the way you look tonight... # | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
What about you? What do you do for a living? | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
-Well, it's been an interesting ride. -Yeah? | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
I got a job at a grocery store right out of college | 0:16:22 | 0:16:26 | |
just for a way to make money. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:27 | |
And here I am, 40 years later, completely unemployed. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
Wow. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:35 | |
What do you say we pick up where we left off? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:41 | |
-You're not serious, right? -I'm serious as a heart attack. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:45 | |
Of which I've had four. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:46 | |
# And the world is cold | 0:16:48 | 0:16:52 | |
# I will feel a glow | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
# Just thinking of you | 0:16:54 | 0:16:58 | |
# And the way you look tonight... # | 0:16:59 | 0:17:03 | |
Hey, Mom, are you OK? Did Frank leave? | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
Uh, yeah. He just stepped away for a second. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
-I'm so sorry we brought him here. -Oh, it's OK. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
It was very thoughtful, sweetheart. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
It's not your fault that he turned out to be... | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Excuse me. Hi. Excuse me, hi. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
My name is Frank Beckerson. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
Marlene, you... | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
blew it. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
Take one last look, Marlene, | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
because you'll never see this body again. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:40 | |
Marlene, what happened between you two? | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
Tell me everything. I want every detail. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
Hey, we're almost done, so we can leave soon. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
Yes. I'll take you for an ice cream malted, | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
and then we can go choose our caskets. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
God, why does everything we do | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
have to be cloaked in, like, 15 layers of irony? | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
Here's something un-ironic. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
Ever since you've been hanging out with that meathead, | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
you've become completely lame. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
You know what? We're breaking up. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
Fine, then you can't make out with me when you're drunk anymore. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:10 | |
-Fine, then I'll make out with Ben. -Pass. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
No, he's MY boyfriend. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:13 | |
You can either make out with both of us or none of us. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
-Fine, none of you. -Fine. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:17 | |
# I've got you | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
# Under my skin... # | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
Everything OK, Knope? | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
My boyfriend is a lawyer, and he's smart and interesting, | 0:18:33 | 0:18:37 | |
and there's a lot of things about him I like. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
But he acted like a real jerk today. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
I don't know. There's something about the way | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
he treats people or something. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
He's a tourist. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures, | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
puts them in his scrapbook, and moves on. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
-All he's interested in are stories. -Huh. | 0:18:55 | 0:19:00 | |
Basically, Leslie, he's selfish. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
And you're not. And that's why you don't like him. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
I told you so. It's Duke Silver. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:13 | |
Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:16 | |
You're mistaken, ladies. Move along. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
# I got you under my skin. # | 0:19:21 | 0:19:24 | |
ONE PERSON APPLAUDS | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
Yeah. Go Mouse Rat. Wooh! | 0:19:26 | 0:19:30 | |
-I thought you were just terrific. -Seriously? | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
You sound like Dean Martin. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
If I were 50 years younger... | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
-Eww! -What? Wait. Who's Dean Martin? | 0:19:40 | 0:19:44 | |
If I'm not mistaken, that was the old-lady version of flashing. Nailed the gig. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
Look, it's sad, I know. But we'll still be friends. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:53 | |
We're going to see each other all the time. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
I come into town, like, every other weekend. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
No. You guys can't break up. We can fix this. Let me talk to Leslie. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Tom, it's over. She doesn't want to see me anymore. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
-Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? -No. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
Seriously, this has NOTHING to do with you. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
-Can we still go suit shopping? -Of course. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
Armani's having a sale right now. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
-I'm going to get you a pocket square. -All right. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:16 |