Browse content similar to Time Capsule. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
OK, Jerry, what have you chosen to put in the time capsule? | 0:00:00 | 0:00:04 | |
These are my mother's diaries. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
-Wow. -Yeah, she lived in Pawnee all of her life | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
and recorded everything she ever did. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
So it's, you know, kind of like a living document about the town. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
Mmm. A disappointingly good idea from Jerry. | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
Better than good, Jerry. Perfect. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
Give me that. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:19 | |
"January 18, 1964. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
"Jerrold starred in his school production of Peter Pan. | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
"He was a beautiful Tinker Bell." | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
ALL LAUGH | 0:00:27 | 0:00:28 | |
It was an all-boys school. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
HE LAUGHS Jerry! | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
Hey, Leslie, I have an idea. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
Why don't we put Eduardo in there | 0:00:38 | 0:00:39 | |
and seal the top so that he suffocates and dies? | 0:00:39 | 0:00:43 | |
OK, Tom, you're up. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
For my item, I chose a picture of my ex-girlfriend Lucy | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
with a moustache drawn on her face | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
and stink lines coming off her, cos she stinks. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
Luckily, when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
"Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up." | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
"Yeah, man. Turns out she's crazy." | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
That's what they always do on Entourage. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
-Ron? -I am submitting this menu | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
from a Pawnee institution, JJ's Diner, | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
home of the world's best breakfast dish, | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
The Four Horse-meals of the Egg-pork-calypse. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
Wendy loves it, too. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:17 | |
And I am submitting this. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
A brief history of everything that has ever happened | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
since Pawnee was founded. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
Not like you get extra credit for this, but I typed it from memory. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
And for the first time ever compiled, | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
it includes a complete list of every official town slogan we've ever had. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:34 | |
-Oh, my God, Leslie. -Can you believe it? -That's crazy. -Isn't it? | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
"Pawnee, the Paris of America." | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
"Pawnee, the Akron of south-west Indiana." | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
"Pawnee. Welcome, German soldiers." | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
"Pawnee, the factory fire capital of America." | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
"Pawnee. Welcome, Vietnamese soldiers." | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
"Pawnee. Engage with Zorp." | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:58 | |
"Pawnee. Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp." | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
"Pawnee, it's safe to be here now." | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
"Pawnee, birthplace of Julia Roberts." | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
That was a lie, she sued, and so we had to change it. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
"Pawnee, home of the world-famous Julia Roberts lawsuit." | 0:02:07 | 0:02:11 | |
"Pawnee. Welcome, Taliban soldiers." | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
And finally, our current slogan. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
"Pawnee. First in friendship, fourth in obesity." | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
Yes, Pawnee has had its set of problems, | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
but this time capsule is our way of saying | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
that Pawnee is going to be around for a long time... | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
capsule. And you can quote me on that. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
I'll quote you on all of this, cos it's a newspaper article... | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
-I thought of a great headline. -Great. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
"It's Time to Encapsulate the Future." | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
-Good one. -Sub headline, | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
"The Parks Department Cuts the Crapsule, Buries the Time Capsule." | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
-I'll be back tomorrow with the photographer. -OK. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
Leslie, this guy's here. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
Hi. Can I help you? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
I'm Kelly Larson. I read online about your time capsule, | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
and I'm here to make a suggestion. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
-Oh, I'm sorry. We're not taking... -The Twilight books. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
It's a beautifully told saga of vampires, werewolves and romance. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
You are the person that's been emailing me about Twilight. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
I thought you would be younger. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
-And a girl. -Well, I'm not. I'm older and a boy. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
But I feel very strongly that these should be included. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
Can I tell you why? | 0:03:27 | 0:03:28 | |
-Sure, Kelly. Have a seat. -Awesome. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
-And plead your case. -Thanks. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
OK, Christmas Eve, 1973. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:35 | |
Author Stephenie Meyer, nee Morgan, | 0:03:35 | 0:03:36 | |
was born in Hartford, Connecticut. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Oh. You're going all the way back to her birth. OK. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
So basically, Ann kissed me and then April kissed me, | 0:03:41 | 0:03:45 | |
and I told April, because of honesty is important. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
That's so true. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
But now she's gone and gotten herself a Venezuelan boyfriend | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
who's, like, the handsomest dude I've ever seen. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
Present company excluded. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
Oh, thank you. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
I was talking about me. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
Hey. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:01 | |
Ann Perkins! Andy just gave me a phenomenal shoeshine | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
and I did not know that you two once lived together. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
Yes. Yes, we did. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:08 | |
Thank you for catching him up on our history. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
Andy, that was an amazing shoeshine. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
I can literally see my face in my shoes. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
See you later! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
He didn't... He didn't pay me. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
-Why are you hanging out with Chris? -He just sat down. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
-What am I supposed to do? He's my boss. -No, he's not. -He isn't? | 0:04:22 | 0:04:26 | |
God dang it. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:27 | |
I cannot figure out who my boss is. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
Andy, I like this guy. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:30 | |
Please don't do anything weird, I beg you. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
I just started dating Chris, and I don't know how, | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
but Andy's going to screw it up. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
Andy screws everything up. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
When we were dating, I bought him a fish. I don't want to get into it, | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
but somehow that fish ended up dead in a cowboy boot. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:47 | |
And combined, they have sold more than 100 million copies worldwide. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
Now, have you seen any of the Twilight movies? | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
-No, I have not. -Well, let me describe them to you shot for shot. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
Movie number one. Twilight. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:58 | |
We slowly pan up over a mossy log | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
to see a deer drinking crystal-clear water. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
OK, Kelly, this time capsule isn't just | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
a barrel full of stuff that people like. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
It's about life in Pawnee at this moment in time, | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
and there is nothing in Twilight that is specific to Pawnee. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
I disagree, OK? | 0:05:14 | 0:05:15 | |
The town of Forks, Washington is exactly like Pawnee, | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
except for the climate and the vampires. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
I'm sorry. I have to say no. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:22 | |
I beg you to reconsider. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
-I have to ask you to leave. -Then I'm going to have to do this. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:28 | |
He brought handcuffs with him. This whole thing was planned. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
I think it's kind of cool. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:37 | |
It's not cool. It's trespassing, and that is breaking the rules. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
Cool people don't break the rules. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:42 | |
And if those kids want you to, they're not really your friends. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
-Whoa, who are you talking about? -I don't know. Sorry. I'm just annoyed. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
But on the subject, your friend Orrin with the black nails and cloak? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:52 | |
-He concerns me. -He's a genius. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
I'll take care of this trespasser. Give me 30 seconds. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
-I'm going to call security. -Guys, can we push the meeting an hour? | 0:05:58 | 0:06:02 | |
What's going on? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:03 | |
Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
Damn it. Again? | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
You look sad. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
You look like a weird goon who's obsessed with a kid's book. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
It's a girl, isn't it? I can tell. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
It's the look Mike had on his face when Bella turned him down for the dance. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
Oh, yeah? Is it? What look did your mom have | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
when she realised her son was a complete failure? | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
OK, I'll be quiet. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
But I do know something about heartbreak. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
And you know who else does? | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
-Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds? -No. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
A little lady named Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
Trust me. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:40 | |
You should listen to him. Those books are good. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:44 | |
Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, | 0:06:44 | 0:06:49 | |
sorcerers, beasties or time-travelling romances. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee. I'll tell you that much. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
OK, buddy, time is up. Give us the keys. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
They're hidden somewhere very far away. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
-Then we're cutting you loose. -I'm not doing anything wrong. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Yes, you are. You're trespassing. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
Well, the fact remains this is perfectly legal. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:09 | |
No, it's not. You're trespassing. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
Look, I really don't want to cause any trouble, | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
but I am not leaving until you put Twilight in the time capsule. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
This muscle-headed Stormtrooper doesn't scare me. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
Go ahead, Artie. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
-SHRIEKS: -No! No! No! No! No! | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
Please! No! No! No! No! No! No! Get him away from me! | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
I am very scared of you! | 0:07:26 | 0:07:27 | |
All right! OK! All right! All right! All right! Stop! | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
'If he wants to stay in there, I'll let him stay in there.' | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
In two hours, he's going to be so hungry and freaked out, | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
he's going to be begging me to... | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
He brought a pillow. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:41 | |
Hey, Leslie, I'm making some Sleepytime tea. Do you want any? | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:07:44 | 0:07:45 | |
Hey, dude, wake up, man. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
Oh, morning, Tom. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
Twilight is dope. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
-I told you. -I couldn't put it down. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
It was like she was peering into my soul. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
Sing it, friend. Here. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
Book two. Twilight: New Moon. Get cracking. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
There's a second book? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
And a third and a fourth. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
-No -BLEEP -way! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:08 | |
-It's fantastic. -Yeah. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:11 | |
I worked really hard. I did every pair that I could. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
I didn't know what to do with these. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
-I think they're gloves. -No, no, no, no. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
Those are sports sandals. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:19 | |
They are for adventure racing. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
They perfectly contour to the human foot, | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
and the human foot is the ultimate technology. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Dude, that is the coolest sentence I've ever heard somebody talk. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
So you love April, and she has a new boyfriend, right? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
-You got all of that from a picture? -No, you told me yesterday. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
Andy, I want to help you win her over. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
Why do I want to help him? | 0:08:41 | 0:08:42 | |
Because he's a good person. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
I love good people. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
Hey, you know who should wear these shoes? Monkeys. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
Well, this is an interesting turn of events. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
Is it? I don't know. I guess it's kind of interesting. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
What the real story is is how wonderful our time capsule is | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
and how it perfectly encapsulates, | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
a word I really think you should use, | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
what our town is all about. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:05 | |
Hey, how's this for a headline? | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
"Parks Department Foiled by Pipe Dreams." | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
God, that's an amazing headline, but please don't write that story. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
The key to April's heart is within you, Andy. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
You need to tap in to the aspects of your personality | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
that she once found attractive | 0:09:19 | 0:09:20 | |
to make yourself the best version of yourself. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
What's great about you? | 0:09:24 | 0:09:25 | |
-I'm nice. -Good! Nice. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
-What else? -I'm in a band. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:30 | |
Band! | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
-What else? -That's it. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
Am I Team Edward? Yes. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
Do I share his concerns about turning Bella, though? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Absolutely not. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Edward's primary goal, at all times, is Bella's protection. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
Can you please, please be quiet? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:50 | |
Sorry. Sorry. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:51 | |
Let's keep it down. Be considerate. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
(Look at it this way, Tom. Bella's love for Edward is being tested.) | 0:09:53 | 0:09:57 | |
-By Jacob? -Mmm. Not exactly. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
-The Volturi? -Yes. -OK, you know what? | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
I'm going to work in the conference room, cos you guys are the worst. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
You seem tense, Leslie. You know what you should do? | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
Read Twilight? | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
-Read Twilight. Here. -Yeah, thanks. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
Sometimes I think she's in the Volturi. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
ALL LAUGH | 0:10:14 | 0:10:15 | |
Good morning, Kelly. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Oh, morning, Leslie. Hope you don't mind, I moved myself to this pipe. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
-It's a little more comfortable. -No problem. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
-Did you have a nice night? Sleep well? -It was all right, considering. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
-Picked you up some coffee. -Thank you so much. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
-Well, you seem pretty chipper this morning. -I am, Kelly, | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
because I know why you're here. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
You know what I did last night? | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
Read Twilight, it transformed your life and it's in the time capsule? | 0:10:36 | 0:10:40 | |
Well, I read the first 10 pages. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:41 | |
I couldn't really get into it, though. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
More of a Harry Potter girl myself. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:44 | |
-What?! -But I looked in the inside cover, | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
and I saw this. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
Did a little research, and Liz Waverly is 12 years old, | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
a straight-A student at King Philip Middle. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
She's also a member of many Twilight internet message boards, | 0:10:55 | 0:10:59 | |
and I'm guessing your daughter? | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
Is that why you did this? To impress your daughter? | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
Liz's mom and I divorced a couple years ago, | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
and it's been really hard on her. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
She loves Twilight. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
So, I read about your time capsule and I thought | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
that if I could somehow convince you to get it in there, | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
I'd be a big hero. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:18 | |
That's really sweet. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
You should have told me you were doing this for your daughter. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:23 | |
I didn't want to drag her into it. I'm sorry. This is a mistake. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
You don't have to put Twilight in the time capsule. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
We should put Twilight in the time capsule. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
Leslie, no. We don't negotiate with weirdoes. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
Yeah, what happened to, "A perfect encapsulation of life in Pawnee"? | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
Well, for that guy, life in Pawnee is him | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
and his daughter reading that book. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
Besides, I can get Shauna on board. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
It would make a great human interest story. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
Uh, if this gets out, every time you want to do anything, | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
some guy's going to come into your office | 0:11:50 | 0:11:51 | |
and handcuff himself to a pipe. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
Well, yeah, that's a good point. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
Then we shall bring the pipe to them. | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
-Oh, no. -Oh, yes. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
-What does that mean? -Crackpot convention. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
So that's what today's forum is for. We'll hear suggestions from everyone, | 0:12:06 | 0:12:10 | |
and then whichever items we generally agree on | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
will go into the time capsule. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
Please remember, this is a government project, | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
so we need to refrain from corporate promotion and religious items. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
Who'd like to start? | 0:12:21 | 0:12:22 | |
-I think we should put in the Bible. -Great. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Eduardo. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:30 | |
Hi, Eduardo. I want to apologise. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
Just because you're dating my soul mate | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
doesn't give me any right to be a jerk to you. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
I promise from now on, I'm just going to be super nice to you. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:43 | |
-Thank you for saying that. -You're welcome. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
-What CDs are those? -Mouse Rat. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
My band. It's our latest album. Yeah. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
You like music? What are you listening to? | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
The Smiths. Very depressing! | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
April's making you listen to that? She's really into that indie stuff. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
I'm more of a Dave Matthews guy myself. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
David Matthews! Crash Into Me! | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
Yes! I love that song. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Here you go, here. Take one. Check us out. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
We're amazing, so let me know how much you like us. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
Yeah, gracias. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
That means "thank you"? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
-Yes. -Nailed it. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
So, we have one very moving case for Twilight. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
Anyone else? Great. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
-Two people for Twilight. -Oh, no, no, no, no. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
I'm Marcia Langman, | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
from the Society for Family Stability Foundation. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
This book contains pagan creatures and strong sexual overtones. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:29 | |
There are girls quivering. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
There are boys staring deeply into girls' eyes | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
as they quiver, and so forth. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
There really is a tremendous amount of quivering. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
It is anti-Christian, it is pro-quivering, | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
and the government has no business promoting it. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:44 | |
I totally disagree. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
-Well, now we have two people for Twilight. -Absolutely not. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
I'm with the National Civil Liberties Association. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
That book actually contains overt Christian themes, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
and as such, has no business being | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
associated with any government project. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
So too Christian, and not Christian enough? | 0:14:00 | 0:14:04 | |
Do you see the irony here? | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
No? OK. Uh... | 0:14:06 | 0:14:07 | |
Donna, why don't you put a question mark next to Twilight? | 0:14:07 | 0:14:11 | |
No! You promised! | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
You promised? That's not fair! | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
-Wait, it's not a question of fairness. -Go back to Russia, commie! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
Hey, you go back to Russia! | 0:14:18 | 0:14:19 | |
-You go back to wherever you came from! -Why would I... | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
THEY ALL ARGUE FIERCELY | 0:14:22 | 0:14:25 | |
-Uh, who else? -I would like to include my favourite book, | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
Crazy From The Heat, the David Lee Roth story. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
If we're going to be adding a book to the time capsule, | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
it would probably be Twilight. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:34 | |
I don't care about Twilight. Why is this only about his favourite? | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
I want my favourite book in there. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
OK, I have an idea. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Two time capsules. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
One that totally encapsulates | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
what's happening right now in Pawnee in this moment in time | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
and the other one that's just for items of personal significance, | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
-like Twilight. -No Twilight! | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
Yes, Twilight! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
-Hey. -Hey. | 0:14:57 | 0:14:58 | |
Thanks for coming. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
I only have a second. I have to get to work. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
Bella's going on her first hunt. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
I just don't get why you broke up with me. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
Is it cos I'm not cool enough? | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
Like the normal kids compared to the vampires? | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
Is it an Edward-Bella-Jacob type situation, | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
where you like me but there's someone else you like more? | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
Uh... | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
It's nothing to do with Twilight. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
It just didn't work out. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
-OK? -Well, what difference does it make? | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
If we stayed together, you would have just dumped me for Ron. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
Actually, that's the reason. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
I believe you when you say you're not in love with Wendy anymore, | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
but you're definitely not cool with her dating Ron. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
You talk about it constantly. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:38 | |
Well, I can't help it, OK? | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
I mean, he's so manly, and he's my boss. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
Imagine if your boss was Angelina Jolie, | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
and then one day, she just started dating your ex-boyfriend. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
Wouldn't that freak you out? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:49 | |
Well, not if I had a great new boyfriend, dumbass. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
Look, Tom, I like you. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:53 | |
You're really cute and you're funny, | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
and you're small enough for me to throw you around. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
So if you ever work through this, then give me a call. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:02 | |
My grandmother lived in Pawnee for 60 years, | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
and I want to put her ashes in the time capsule. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:14 | |
My cat, Turnip, was the greatest cat ever, | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
and I'd like to put his ashes in the time capsule. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
For the last time, and I won't say this again, | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
there will be no human or feline ashes | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
in either one of the time capsules. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:27 | |
-CHANTS: -Except for Turnip! Except for Turnip! | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
No chanting. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
Look, we don't know what the world is going to be like in 50 years. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
We could all have been wiped out from disease or the flu. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:40 | |
So what's your suggestion? | 0:16:40 | 0:16:41 | |
I don't know. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
I'm just scared. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:45 | |
Hey. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:46 | |
Ugh! | 0:16:54 | 0:16:55 | |
HE PLAYS FLAMENCO RIFF | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
-Andy! -I got two microphones, a four-track recorder | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
and every bass tab to Dave Matthews ever. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
-We're going to jam for, like, nine hours. Is that cool? -Yeah! | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
That's ridiculous. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
Now, why should the Bill of Rights be in the official time capsule, | 0:17:12 | 0:17:17 | |
but this painting of my dog is in time capsule seven? | 0:17:17 | 0:17:21 | |
Well, I think pet paintings/ashes are in time capsule four. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:26 | |
No, that's baseball cards. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
No, baseball cards are in time capsule nine, childhood memorabilia. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
Honestly, Twilight could go in almost any of these categories. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
-Oh, shut up, Kelly! -Make me, Bob! | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
OK, let's take a 10-minute break! | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
Oh, God. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
This time capsule's tearing this town apart. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
You're leaving soon. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
Can I blame it on you in the press? | 0:17:47 | 0:17:48 | |
Sure. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
Well, I gotta say, I think it's kind of impressive. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
I've been to lots of towns. Usually people don't care about anything. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
I mean, don't get me wrong. | 0:17:56 | 0:17:57 | |
These people are weirdos, but they're weirdos who care. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
Excuse me, everyone. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:06 | |
I realise things have gotten a little out of control, | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
and that's Ben's fault, and he's sorry. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
But I have an idea, and if you like it, | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
I think we can end this right now. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
"Dear Pawnee of the future, | 0:18:16 | 0:18:17 | |
"congratulations. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:19 | |
"You have found a time capsule that was buried over 50 years ago. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:23 | |
"We wanted to include a collection of items that would best represent | 0:18:23 | 0:18:27 | |
"what life was like in our town at that moment. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
"Instead, you'll find only one item, | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
"a video recording of a public forum we held | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
"in order to determine just what those items would be. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
"This is truly what life was like. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
"A lot of people with a lot of opinions | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
"arguing passionately for what they believed in. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
"So enjoy watching it, assuming you still have electricity. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:51 | |
"And sorry about the weird blank gap in the middle. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
"A man named Jerry Gergich screwed up the recording somehow. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
"He had one job to do. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
"Sincerely, Pawnee of the past." | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
Is Eduardo coming? | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
No, he went back to Venezuela. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
Oh, that sucks. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
He was a really good bassist. I was actually starting to like him. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
I know. That's what made me start to hate him. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
Hey. Nice and band totally worked. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
Have you enjoyed your time with Andy? | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
Yeah, he's great. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
And he told me how great you are. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
And he told me that I would be crazy to let you get away. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
-He did, huh? -He did. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
And also, there is a pretzel stand over there | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
that serves, literally, the best pretzel I've ever had. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
-Would you like one? -Absolutely. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:50 | |
-Hey, guys. -Hey, Tom. -Tom! | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
Listen, I've never seen this before, | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
so I'd really appreciate it if no-one, like, | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
talked or texted or anything. OK. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Ooh! | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
-Hey. -Hey, Leslie, thanks for setting this up. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
Dude, what did I just say? | 0:20:10 | 0:20:11 | |
-Hey, I was the guy who introduced you to... -How about you shut up? | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 |