New Friends People Just Do Nothing


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OK, everyone? Right, we're going to watch a video on breast-feeding,

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and hopefully this video's going to

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make you feel increasingly comfortable about it, so... Enjoy.

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Get off to a good start with these tips on positioning.

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Correct positioning and attachment will prevent damage to the nipples.

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You'll get better and better at following his cues.

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-He may want both breasts at a time...

-Tit!

-Tit!

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You can offer the second when it's appropriate.

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Shhh, shhh, shhh.

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Your nipple should be opposite your baby's nose...

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It's like the end of a Pepperami.

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THEY LAUGH

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Right, you are this close.

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Darren is my new, very, very good mate that I met at dad classes.

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It's going pretty well. I actually feel like there's something there,

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do you know what I mean? We're just going to take it slow

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and see what happens, really, but, yeah, really good.

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We've got a Dazzler.

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This is your final warning.

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Do you understand? Do you understand, Darren?

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Yep.

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Tickle her lips with the end of your nipple.

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THEY LAUGH

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Wait until the baby's mouth is wide open, then...

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I love tits.

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-All right, that's it.

-What?

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I didn't even want to come here in the first place.

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This was for you, not for me.

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Hang on.

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What?

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Roche. I just thought they looked like Pepperamis.

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Angel, door!

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-Hello.

-Hello, you must be Angel.

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-Yeah.

-You ready? This is Becky, by the way.

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Hi, nice to meet you.

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-Yep.

-One sec, Decoy.

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-Mummy?

-Yes?

-Decoy loves her.

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Ssshhhh, shut up.

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-MICHE:

-He doesn't, they've only just started seeing each other.

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It's nothing serious, so it's...

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Right, I'm off. See you in a bit, yeah?

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-Come on, let's go.

-Say bye to Daddy.

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-See ya.

-So, are you a loving family?

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Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

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We always tell each other that we love each other, don't we?

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I love a lot of things, like.

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I love radio,

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food and that...

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Yeah, yeah.

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-Uh, actually...

-Aw.

-Sorry, I forgot...

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I need it for fags and that.

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Maybe just don't take it out of the wedding fund.

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No, it's fine, I need it for zoots.

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I'll put back whatever change I have later, yeah?

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See you later.

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What do you think life will be like when you're married?

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-It's going to be amazing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

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It's going to be such a big change. We'll be set for life, won't we?

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You know, get married and that's it, just happily ever after.

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Yeah. Happily ever after.

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It's proper chapping, innit?

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I'm freezing.

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Yeah. What's this shit?

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You know I need jungle to wake me up in the morning.

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Miche is doing my nut in, man.

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Why, what's up?

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Just all the wedding shit, innit?

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Getting married and that, like.

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That's sick though, right?

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-Not really.

-No?

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I should take a leaf out of your book.

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-Get a younger team.

-Yeah.

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You got a sister?

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-No.

-Oh.

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Steves'.

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Steves'.

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-SINGS:

-Na, na, na, na-na-na-na. Na, na, na, na-na-na.

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-There he is, my favourite grandson.

-How you doing?

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I'm her only grandson, so I win by default.

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I wanted to come and present you

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with AKA ten pounds.

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Oh, what's it for?

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For the goody bag you gave me the other day.

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Cos I've got a job now, so I'm going to start paying you.

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How's the new job?

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It's all right, yeah. It's sort of my dream job in a way.

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-If it was, like, quite a boring dream.

-Oh.

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-You have it.

-You sure?

-You might find it'll come in useful.

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I feel like you should have it.

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I'll have the tenner if no-one wants it.

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Shut up, Peter.

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All right.

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See you later.

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Yeah. See ya.

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-Oh, thank you.

-It's all right.

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Do you want me to cook tonight for you?

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-Yeah...

-Bruv? Hurry up, cos we're already late to Radio.

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-All right.

-I'll see you tonight, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Ugh.

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Hurry up.

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HORN BEEPS

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Decoy! Fucking hurry up, mate!

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All right, coming, coming, coming.

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-See you later.

-See you later!

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-What's up, man? Fucking hell.

-"What's up, man, fucking hell?"

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She was in my seat.

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-What's wrong with that?

-You know what's wrong with that.

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Just fucking drive, mate.

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OK, are you excited?

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Let's get ready. She's coming.

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She's coming.

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Any minute.

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One, two... It's your baby...

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Sorry, Miche, hold on.

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-BOTH:

-It's your baby shower.

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Yay, let's not call it a baby shower, eh, Miche?

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-We got you a sash. Oh, so you did.

-Where's Craig?

-Honestly...

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Well, you need to have a sash if it's a baby shower.

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It's not a proper baby shower without one.

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-OK. Craig's just through there, love. Thanks.

-Baby mumma.

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A few baby bits here as well, so...

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-Oh!

-No big deal.

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Exciting.

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Hello, Craig.

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-Hi.

-Are you excited about the baby shower?

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-Yeah(!)

-Do you think Beats and Roche,

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do you think they make a good couple?

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Yeah, they do, you know, they're having a baby together.

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It's a really exciting time for them.

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They're a strong united front.

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-Yeah.

-Oh, thank you for these.

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Hoodie.

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-Simple.

-I love pink.

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Gold boots. Little booties, can't beat them.

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It's an exciting time for them, you know.

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They're just going to all grow together and...

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Obviously they've got Craig there already,

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so it's a beautiful family unit that,

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you know, we all wish we could have.

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So...

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How is Bump?

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Well, it's... It's a baby.

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Hello, Bump.

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Oh, let's... Nice and warm.

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Yeah.

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-What's she doing?

-Probably just lying there.

-Aw.

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New developments in the champagne steam bar world.

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Drumroll, please.

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O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!

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Champagne steam bar?

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Yeah, we know that. And kitchen!

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Come on!

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My empire is constantly expanding, you know,

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I mean first of all I had the internet cafe, yeah?

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Then I had my own nightclub, then I had my own bar,

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and now I'm throwing a restaurant into the mix.

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And I'm saving money by having it all in the same industrial estate.

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What happened to those colour-coded chopping boards

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-that I asked you for?

-Hmmm, OK. They're on the way.

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I'm just waiting for the paint to dry.

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That's just a joke. How's your new kitchen assistant doing?

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Oh, he's doing really good.

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All right. Stevie.

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Yeah, Steve, just use this and keep your sleeves clean.

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-What's that?

-It's a tea towel.

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-Tiny towel.

-You know, it's like The Apprentice.

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You know, I'm Alan Brown Sugar, so these are my apprentices,

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and I have to put them through tasks and challenges, you know.

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"Can you work on less than minimum wage?"

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"Can you work in conditions that probably will be inhumane?"

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Get back to work!

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You know? These are challenges, this is Apprentice, you know?

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And then, if you're lucky enough, "You're hired."

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Seen these as well? Tiny cups.

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Like I'm a giant. I am a giant, but...

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More, more of a giant.

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-Is he joking?

-Don't worry. He's very cheap.

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That is sick.

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That is... With an axe.

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So what, mate? I shouldn't be having to call shotgun.

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It's my radio station, I'm your employer, end of.

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-Yeah, but I pay you, though.

-To be at MY station!

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So, the point is she shouldn't be sitting in the front seat.

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-It's my seat. Innit, Beats?

-Yeah, that's Grindah's chair,

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he's got the lumbar support exactly how he likes it.

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No, not the... In his car.

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Oh, sorry, man. Darren just sent over these jokes pranking videos.

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Great, pranking's MY thing.

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-Fuck's sake.

-Darren's really into it as well.

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I think you'd really like him.

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Ooh, no, I wouldn't. I don't like anyone, and nor should you.

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-End of.

-What do you think of Beats getting new friends?

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I ain't here to tell Beats who he can and can't be mates with,

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do you know what I mean, like?

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It's his life, let him do what he wants.

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But don't come running back to me when it all goes wrong,

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do you know what I mean,

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cos man ain't going to be there in the end.

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No, actually, I am going to be there

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to make sure I see his face when I have a go at him when he's

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learnt his lesson.

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Don't need new friends when you've got a real friend like me.

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Is that a new phone?

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-Where did you get the P for that?

-Nah, Darren gave it to me.

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-He had a spare one, so...

-What?!

-Yeah, yeah. He said I could have it.

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He just gave it...?

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Do you know what? I just thought - there's a new rule.

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No phones at Radio.

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You want to talk to your weird little mates and that,

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then do it on your own time, go out and speak to them,

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or your little girlfriends and that. No phones. Put your phones away.

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No phones.

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See that? You can actually take pictures on it.

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Yeah, but the battery lasts about two hours, so...

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Yeah, but you can go on YouTube.

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Well, on my Nokia the battery lasts three days.

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-Yeah, it's sick though.

-No, not really.

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That's going to table number seven.

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That one's going to table number five, OK?

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Is everything meeting your expectations?

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Thank you.

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Still a bit of meat on that.

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I'm enjoying the perks of the new job,

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tenner a day and access to food.

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Free food...that hasn't been eaten yet.

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Waste not want not.

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If some of it has, then I'll just eat the rest of it.

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So, old food?

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Not old, but very much second-hand food.

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OK, today we have the gourmet peri peri chicken, £6.

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Gourmet hot wings, £6.50.

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And we also have my favourite, the avant garde avocado.

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The main challenge of running a restaurant is the menu.

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People don't want to just walk in and eat shit off a plate, yeah?

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Give it a stupid name and they eat it.

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"This is a Barcelona burger from Barcelona."

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You even put the lisp in the Barcelona. Barcelona.

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"Oh, it's organic, look at the mud."

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It's just been on the floor, mate.

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Stupid bastards. Do you know what I mean?

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So, how's the wedding planning going?

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God, has everyone been talking about it?

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No, it's just you sent me a text invitation.

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Yeah, and I'm barely sleeping from worrying about it all, so...

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As long as Grindah's pulling his weight.

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-Yeah.

-Where's Craig?

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He's upstairs, love.

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Craig! Craig!

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To be honest, I just thought, I mean,

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we would've been a bit more excited about it all.

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But if anything, it feels like he avoids me quite a lot now.

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Well, that's no good.

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Oh, don't cry, Miche, don't.

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SHE CRIES

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-I'm sorry.

-Don't apologise.

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I just feel like I'm living a lie.

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Like, what if he's not the perfect man that I think he is?

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Oh, no...

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-He's, um...

-Everyone thinks he's a dream man.

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He's probably really nice when you get to know him.

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-Who's there? Dickhead who?

-HE LAUGHS

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What, you saying I'm a dickhead?

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Fucking Darren, mate.

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You're mental, Darren, mate.

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Yeah. We should go on holiday.

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Beats.

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Oh, I better go. All right, mate, yeah, I'll see you tonight, yeah?

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HE LAUGHS

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Stop now, mate. Speak to you later.

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Yeah, you should've told him you're at Radio.

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What do you mean tonight? What if I wanted to do something?

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Darren said you could come down the pub as well, he wants to meet you.

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No, I'm busy, actually.

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-Is it?

-Yeah, with my real friend.

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Do you ever get jealous?

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Nah, I don't get jealous.

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Like, Beats can do what he wants, it's not...

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It's his life, innit? I've given you an opportunity

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and you're running away with, like, different men and that, yeah?

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Do your thing.

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You up for doing something later?

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Nah, I'm just going to have an early one tonight.

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Yeah. Fantasy, what about you?

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I can't, man. I've got cinema tickets.

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Cinema? I don't even go to the cinema any more.

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It's like 14 quid a ticket.

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-Tia.

-Yeah?

-My nan just came in.

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-Nan!

-No way.

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She just came in.

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Nan!

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Yes. That is mad.

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-I forget she can walk.

-Follow me.

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What's your Nan's name?

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-Just Nan.

-But what does everyone else call her?

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Steves' nan.

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OK. Never mind, just go over there...

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Yes, Nan.

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You all right?

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-How you doing, brother?

-Oh, right.

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Handshake. Formal.

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Do you like this? Look at that.

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-Very smart.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

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-Lovely.

-Yeah. Double-breasted.

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This is actually what the professional chefs wear as well.

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-Do you know what you lot want?

-I would like the chicken, Steve.

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-Yeah, the chicken.

-The piri piri.

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And then, if you don't finish it, don't worry.

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-All right?

-Not really. Beats is being a proper selfish prick.

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Where's the money that you took from the wedding fund?

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-Oh, yeah, no, I got that.

-Here you go.

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Every little helps, innit? There you go.

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That was nothing.

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That's not enough, like, this whole thing isn't enough.

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Well, it's all right, chill out. What's up with her?

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There you go. £2 coin, yeah?

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-Bang. Happy?

-No, I'm not.

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Why not? Look, stop stressing yourself out all the time,

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it's just a wedding, right. Why you gotta be so intense?

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Do you even want to get married?

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Huh? Yeah, like, probably, I dunno, like, just...

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Well, yes or no?

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Yes, then. Like, can't we just do it in a few years or whatever,

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when we've got more money and that, like? There's no rush, is there?

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I knew it, you don't even want to get married!

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I sent out all the invitations, you're making me look stupid!

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Well, I didn't tell you to send them out,

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so you're making yourself look stupid if anything.

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Right, that's it. What's the point in me doing all this wedding stuff?

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-Ssshhhh, shut up.

-Why did you propose to me?

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So do you ever argue with Miche?

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Nah, not really, cos, like, me and Miche

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don't really get into arguments, cos most of the time I'm right, and if

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I'm not, I'm sort of clever enough not to admit that, so...

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Getting into an argument with me is completely pointless.

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-This is my house...

-It's our house...

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And I don't want you here! Go! This isn't your house any more!

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-Stop shouting in front of...

-Fuck off!

0:16:050:16:07

Stop shouting constantly in front of the camera.

0:16:070:16:10

If you're looking for your Averix, don't bother, cos I sold it.

0:16:110:16:13

You're fucking... Well, joke's on you then,

0:16:130:16:16

cos I was going to wear that at our wedding.

0:16:160:16:17

Well, I'm even more glad, cos it makes you look like a fat biker.

0:16:170:16:20

Don't EVER call me fat!

0:16:200:16:22

You know I used to have weight issues.

0:16:220:16:24

Do you know what, I'm taking my £2 back now.

0:16:240:16:27

Take it, I literally don't care any more.

0:16:270:16:29

Do you know what, yeah? You keep it if you love it so much.

0:16:370:16:39

-WHISPERS:

-Prick.

0:16:410:16:43

These are on the house, as you are our special guests today.

0:16:490:16:52

Strong lager for you, mate, Pete, yeah, lad.

0:16:520:16:56

And, for you, the new cocktail I designed

0:16:560:16:58

- it's called a micrococktail,

0:16:580:17:00

OK? Packs a real punch.

0:17:000:17:01

Size doesn't always matter.

0:17:010:17:03

-That's great.

-Sometimes the best things are really tiny.

0:17:030:17:06

-I keep telling her that.

-Hey!

0:17:060:17:08

Lad alert! Come on, we should hang.

0:17:080:17:11

-We should chill.

-How exciting.

0:17:110:17:13

-All the best.

-Cheers.

0:17:130:17:15

'So, is your nan looking for love?'

0:17:150:17:17

Is she looking for love?

0:17:170:17:18

Romance? No, no, no, when you're...

0:17:180:17:20

She's done all that, ages ago.

0:17:200:17:23

Like, when you get to, like, her age, you just...

0:17:230:17:25

Everything's just cool, like, you just have your meals or whatever,

0:17:250:17:29

you don't do anything, weird stuff like that.

0:17:290:17:32

Ooh!

0:17:320:17:34

-Does it have a kick?

-I don't know what it is.

0:17:340:17:37

OK. You're very attractive when you giggle like that, do you know that?

0:17:370:17:42

Don't be silly.

0:17:420:17:44

Grindah! Grindah's here.

0:18:040:18:06

You're gonna love him, trust me, yeah.

0:18:060:18:08

-All right, mate?

-Grindah's here.

-Oh, sweet.

0:18:080:18:11

-Oh, you're going to love him.

-Yes, mate, you all right, yeah?

0:18:110:18:13

-Thanks for coming down, man.

-Yeah, no worries,

0:18:130:18:16

I thought I'd come down as you wanted me to meet Darren.

0:18:160:18:18

-Yeah, Darren this is Grindah.

-Hello, Darren, nice to meet you.

0:18:180:18:21

-How you doing, you all right?

-ALL:

-Yeah.

0:18:210:18:23

What, you not drinking? You forgot your ID or something, eh?

0:18:230:18:25

THEY LAUGH

0:18:250:18:27

I'm so glad you lot finally met.

0:18:270:18:29

This is going to be one of the best nights ever.

0:18:290:18:32

-Innit?

-Yeah.

0:18:320:18:33

And the avant garde avocado.

0:18:350:18:38

-Bellisimi.

-Oh, thank you.

0:18:380:18:41

And the piri piri chicken. Muak.

0:18:410:18:46

Tell you what, Steves' nan, best worker in the game, this guy.

0:18:460:18:49

You should be proud. So good.

0:18:490:18:51

I hope you're paying him properly.

0:18:510:18:53

Well, that's something, you know, employer confidential, we

0:18:530:18:56

-can't talk numbers.

-Tenner a day.

0:18:560:18:58

Good God! Here, I'll report you!

0:18:580:19:00

No, no, it's not... A tenner a day?

0:19:000:19:02

I pay you more than this.

0:19:020:19:03

-I... It's always a tenner a day.

-I'm not having that.

0:19:030:19:06

No, no, I'm going to be having strong words

0:19:060:19:08

with the accountant tomorrow.

0:19:080:19:10

-Make sure you do.

-I will do it now for you, madam.

0:19:100:19:13

Ten pound a day? Come on, mate!

0:19:130:19:16

Enjoy the food.

0:19:170:19:18

-Right, thank you.

-Does that mean I get paid more now, Chabuddy?

0:19:180:19:22

You know what, Steve, I just got a text through and they have just

0:19:220:19:24

confirmed that you are on the right wage.

0:19:240:19:26

-Oh. Thanks for checking, man.

-No problem, mate.

0:19:260:19:29

I'll get the next ones in then.

0:19:350:19:36

You lot probably want to get to know each other.

0:19:360:19:39

Yeah. Yeah.

0:19:390:19:40

-Same again?

-Yes, please, mate, yeah. Hang on a sec, Kev, um...

-Yeah.

0:19:400:19:43

Sorry, what's the capital of Thailand?

0:19:430:19:45

-I don't know, Singapore.

-No.

0:19:450:19:47

-Bangkok!

-Oh, that actually hurt.

0:19:470:19:49

-Game of fouls, right?

-Good one, innit?

0:19:490:19:52

No, cos I've heard that one before.

0:19:520:19:54

I would've said "Bangkok" and blocked it straight away.

0:19:540:19:56

-Same again, yeah?

-Yes, please, mate, yeah.

-Cool.

0:19:560:20:01

-Miche, tea's up, babe.

-Oh, thanks, Mum.

0:20:020:20:04

-Thank you.

-Here you are. Where are your bin bags?

0:20:060:20:09

No, I told you, we're not packing his stuff up.

0:20:090:20:12

This is your house, babe, you don't want all these reminders,

0:20:120:20:14

do you know what I mean? It'll make the break-up even harder.

0:20:140:20:17

I told you, we're not breaking up. We're just, you know,

0:20:170:20:19

-we're taking some time out.

-I hear you.

0:20:190:20:21

Do you think Miche and Grindah make a good couple?

0:20:210:20:24

Not really, darling, I just think she could, you know,

0:20:240:20:26

he's punching well above his weight.

0:20:260:20:28

Well above his weight. And I just think she's worth more than that,

0:20:280:20:31

you know what I mean? She's my princess, so I'm going to say that,

0:20:310:20:34

aren't I? But he is a tosser.

0:20:340:20:36

I'll tell you that for nothing.

0:20:360:20:38

I'll tell you what we'll do, yeah?

0:20:380:20:39

We'll just pack up his stuff anyway, yeah?

0:20:390:20:42

Pop it by the door, then if the break-up were to go ahead,

0:20:420:20:45

-God forbid, we'd be all ready.

-No, Mum.

0:20:450:20:48

Put the bin bags down, Mum.

0:20:480:20:50

Oh, there's the taxi.

0:20:500:20:52

Yep, let's open the door for you.

0:20:520:20:55

-There we go.

-See you later.

0:20:550:20:57

-Yeah.

-Will you be all right getting back, yeah?

0:20:570:20:59

Oh, I'll be fine.

0:20:590:21:01

Pete will look after me.

0:21:010:21:03

Yes, you'll be well looked after.

0:21:030:21:05

Let's get you back before you start getting tired.

0:21:050:21:07

I've got plenty of energy left.

0:21:070:21:10

Oh...

0:21:100:21:11

You doing something when you get back?

0:21:110:21:13

I certainly hope so.

0:21:130:21:15

Yeah, yeah.

0:21:150:21:17

Well, you lot have a good one.

0:21:170:21:19

Perhaps more than one.

0:21:190:21:20

Ooh, stop it!

0:21:200:21:22

THEY LAUGH

0:21:220:21:23

-See you later, anyway.

-See ya.

0:21:230:21:25

-Bye, see ya.

-Bye, Steve.

-See you later, bye.

0:21:250:21:29

What do you think of him? He's proper safe, innit?

0:21:340:21:37

Like, on the level.

0:21:370:21:39

-Not on my level, mate.

-Here you go, boys.

0:21:390:21:42

-Cheers, mate.

-No worries, man.

0:21:420:21:46

There you go, pal.

0:21:460:21:48

Right, boys. You see that barmaid?

0:21:480:21:50

Proper salt, do you know what I mean?

0:21:500:21:53

-Yeah.

-Do you know what would make her look a lot better, though?

0:21:530:21:56

-Go on.

-My balls on her chin.

0:21:560:21:57

THEY LAUGH

0:21:570:21:59

-The imagery, yeah, yeah.

-Just fucking, like, balls...

0:21:590:22:02

I was just going to say, are those Huaraches? They're Huaraches, yes,

0:22:020:22:05

-mate, yeah.

-Yeah. Proper comfortable, you know?

0:22:050:22:07

Yeah. Good for raving.

0:22:070:22:09

-Yeah, he loves raving as well.

-Yeah.

-What sort of music do you actually

0:22:090:22:11

-like, then?

-Um, I dunno, a bit of everything, really.

0:22:110:22:14

Mainly sort of house, techno stuff, really, yeah.

0:22:140:22:17

-House?

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

-What's your standpoint on garage?

0:22:170:22:20

-Garage?

-Yeah.

0:22:200:22:21

Fuck, man, I haven't listened to that for years, I mean...

0:22:210:22:24

Hang on a minute, it ain't 1998, is it?

0:22:240:22:26

THEY LAUGH

0:22:260:22:27

No, it's not, mate.

0:22:270:22:28

I mean, only an idiot would listen to garage now, wouldn't he?

0:22:280:22:31

It's a fucking pile of shit, mate.

0:22:310:22:33

It is, innit? Why would you ever listen to garage?

0:22:330:22:35

I haven't a fucking clue. Hang on a minute,

0:22:350:22:37

I think So Solid Crew...

0:22:370:22:39

Here, listen. I tell you what, why don't we delete garage forever?

0:22:390:22:42

Shit, yeah. Man, what you've got 21 seconds to go, eh?

0:22:420:22:45

Fuck off, then, if you've got 21 seconds to go,

0:22:450:22:48

just fuck off, garage.

0:22:480:22:49

Yeah, fuck off, get out of my life, mate.

0:22:490:22:52

Go make some good fucking music.

0:22:520:22:54

You're a funny fucker you are.

0:22:540:22:55

I just realised, I gotta shoot off, but...

0:22:570:23:00

Yeah, enjoy your night, lads, yeah?

0:23:000:23:03

See you later, boi.

0:23:030:23:04

-Nice to meet you.

-Yeah, nice to meet you, mate, take care.

0:23:040:23:08

Yeah, I'm probably going to shoot off as well, actually.

0:23:110:23:14

I've got, like, an urgent thing.

0:23:140:23:16

-Where you going?

-Keep the pints, though, man.

0:23:160:23:19

Oh, right, well... I'll see you Thursday then, yeah?

0:23:190:23:22

I'll let you know. You all right?

0:23:220:23:25

Come on, mate. Let's get you home.

0:23:270:23:29

-You can do so much better than that.

-I know.

0:23:300:23:33

OK, who's up for a bit of champagne?

0:23:350:23:37

-Tia?

-Yep. You know what?

0:23:370:23:38

It's been a good day.

0:23:380:23:40

Steves, do you want one?

0:23:400:23:42

No, I don't touch that stuff. It fucks with your head.

0:23:420:23:45

Oh, God, the good stuff.

0:23:470:23:49

This always makes me jump. Why are you shaking...?

0:23:520:23:54

To my new business apprentice...

0:23:550:23:57

Well, you're more like my apprentice if anything.

0:23:570:24:00

To think, yeah? This place was nothing and we've built up a whole

0:24:000:24:03

restaurant together. I'm basically Gordon Ramsay.

0:24:030:24:06

Gordon Chabuddy.

0:24:060:24:07

I think we work really well together as a team.

0:24:080:24:11

I think we work really well together, too.

0:24:110:24:13

It's just beautiful.

0:24:130:24:15

Let's not do that!

0:24:170:24:18

Sorry, I just.... I thought that was my moment to...

0:24:180:24:21

It's OK, I think you just got things a bit twisted.

0:24:210:24:24

Look, you're my boss and I admire you as a professional.

0:24:240:24:27

I think we work really well as a team and...

0:24:270:24:30

You've done it again.

0:24:300:24:31

Sorry, I just read it wrong again.

0:24:310:24:33

-A bit of washing up to do, man.

-Yeah.

0:24:360:24:39

Anyway, safe, man. See you tomorrow, yeah?

0:24:420:24:44

Yeah. See you tomorrow.

0:24:440:24:46

-Cool.

-Or, I was going to say, actually,

0:24:460:24:47

I might as well just stay round tonight.

0:24:470:24:49

Nah, I'll be fine, man, honestly.

0:24:490:24:50

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Thanks for caring, though.

0:24:500:24:53

Yeah, it's just I... You know. Good to make sure you're all right

0:24:530:24:56

-after what you've been through and that and...

-Nah, I'll be fine.

0:24:560:24:59

Roche and Craig are there, yeah, they'll pick me up.

0:24:590:25:01

-Yeah, no, that's cool.

-Yeah.

-Look, I just...

0:25:010:25:05

I just don't want to go back home, man.

0:25:070:25:09

Miche has been doing my nut in and just...

0:25:090:25:11

There's been arguments and that.

0:25:130:25:15

-She kick you out?

-No, she didn't kick me out, she just...

0:25:150:25:18

Look, it's complicated, all right?

0:25:190:25:21

And I just can't go back there tonight.

0:25:210:25:23

-Mate, of course you can stay.

-Yeah?

-SNM, mate.

0:25:230:25:26

-Say No More.

-What did I tell you?

0:25:260:25:27

My casa is your casa.

0:25:270:25:29

-Come on...

-Come on, let's go in.

0:25:290:25:31

Actually, I've just got to ask Roche if it's all right first.

0:25:330:25:36

Oh, great.

0:25:360:25:38

-Rochelle?

-Yeah.

0:25:420:25:44

-Hi, Roche.

-Hi.

0:25:440:25:45

-How are you?

-Fine.

0:25:450:25:47

How's Craig?

0:25:470:25:50

-Fine.

-Cool.

0:25:500:25:52

-Roche?

-Yes.

0:25:520:25:55

Is it all right if Grindah stays tonight?

0:25:550:25:58

He had, like, this big fight with Miche. She kicked him out.

0:25:580:26:01

No, she didn't kick me out. I left cos she's acting all weird.

0:26:010:26:04

Did you put her in a bad mood?

0:26:040:26:05

I think you're more than capable of doing that yourself.

0:26:050:26:08

-Well, Beats said I could stay, so...

-Well, it ain't up to Beats, is it?

0:26:080:26:11

-So...

-Beats?

-Sorry.

0:26:110:26:13

Is it all right?

0:26:140:26:16

All right, you can stay, but just for tonight.

0:26:180:26:21

-Sick.

-Cool.

-Can I get a juice?

-Yeah, help yourself, mate.

0:26:210:26:24

-So, did you have a nice drink with Darren?

-No, it was shit.

0:26:240:26:27

To be honest, I don't really want to go to parent classes any more.

0:26:270:26:31

-Well, you know I'm up for that.

-Yeah.

0:26:310:26:34

-You don't need it these days, do you? It's pointless.

-Yeah.

0:26:340:26:38

Did something happen with Darren?

0:26:380:26:39

You two seemed like you were getting on really well.

0:26:390:26:42

Nah. Nah. He's just not who I thought he was.

0:26:420:26:45

I don't really want to talk about it, to be honest.

0:26:450:26:47

Oh, OK, I won't ask any more then.

0:26:470:26:49

-Do you want some wine, Miche?

-I'm all right, thanks.

0:26:530:26:56

You sure? It does help.

0:26:560:26:58

Yeah, I'll see if the tea works.

0:26:580:27:00

If in doubt, drink wine.

0:27:000:27:01

Mummy? Where's Daddy?

0:27:040:27:06

Oh, Daddy's just... He's having a sleepover at Uncle Beats's house.

0:27:060:27:10

-Why?

-Why?

0:27:120:27:15

Because sometimes grown-ups need to be separate,

0:27:150:27:18

because one of them is an idiot and takes everything for granted.

0:27:180:27:22

Mummy? Nana says you're an idiot.

0:27:220:27:25

No, she's not talking about me. She's talking about Daddy.

0:27:250:27:27

-Daddy.

-Daddy's the idiot.

-Daddy's a plonker.

0:27:270:27:30

Brought you the sleeping bag.

0:27:310:27:33

Oh, this is beautiful.

0:27:330:27:35

-Here, I'll just...

-Yeah.

0:27:350:27:37

It's lovely being able to sprawl out, actually.

0:27:370:27:39

-Yeah?

-No-one else in the bed.

0:27:390:27:41

-You got everything you need, man?

-Yeah.

0:27:410:27:44

Worked out perfectly, actually,

0:27:440:27:45

cos I've got the old widescreen TV as well in my room, so...

0:27:450:27:48

-Yeah.

-Yeah, you're always welcome round mine, mate.

0:27:480:27:50

-Cheers mate.

-All right, sleep well, soldier. See you in the morning.

0:27:500:27:53

-Night, mate.

-Night.

0:27:530:27:55

Your best mates are there for you, like,

0:27:550:27:56

to pick you up when you're down, do you know what I mean?

0:27:560:27:59

-Yeah.

-Like, if you need somewhere to stay, here's a bed.

0:27:590:28:01

-Yeah.

-You need some money, here's a bit of cash.

0:28:010:28:03

What, you got some dough?

0:28:030:28:05

Nah, I was just... That's what you say, innit?

0:28:050:28:07

Don't say it if you haven't got any money on you.

0:28:070:28:10

Sorry.

0:28:100:28:11

MACHINE GUN FIRES

0:28:140:28:18

What the fuck?! He's a fucking noob!

0:28:200:28:22

What you doing, you mug? Grenade him!

0:28:220:28:25

Oh, my God!

0:28:260:28:28

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