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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
Well, well, well, well, well, | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
howdy, howdy, howdy-doody and welcome. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:37 | |
Welcome to a QI that's all about hypnosis, hallucinations and hysteria. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:41 | |
And with me tonight are the hypnotic Ronni Ancona... | 0:00:41 | 0:00:45 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
..the hysterical Robert Webb... | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
..the histrionic Phill Jupitus... | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
..and His Majesty Alan Davies. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:01:03 | 0:01:07 | |
With such a theme, we're all buzzing with excitement of course | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
and Ronnie goes... | 0:01:14 | 0:01:15 | |
'You are feeling sleepy.' | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
And Robert goes... | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
'Very sleepy.' | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
And Phill goes... | 0:01:22 | 0:01:24 | |
'Your eyelids are heavy.' | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
And Alan goes... | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
SNORING | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
So if I hypnotised you but then cut off your leg, | 0:01:33 | 0:01:37 | |
how much fuss would you make? | 0:01:37 | 0:01:38 | |
Doesn't it depend what you've gone in for the hypnosis for? | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
I mean, if you'd gone into stop smoking, I'd be a bit miffed really. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:47 | |
That's a very good point. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
Assuming... | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
Assuming you'd gone in because you had gangrene | 0:01:50 | 0:01:54 | |
or you needed to lose your leg... | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
They never used hypnosis as an anaesthetic, did they? | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
Surely you'd be screaming in agony. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Oddly enough, no. It was used before ether in the 1830s very commonly | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
or reasonably commonly at least, | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
once Mesmer had sort of, as it were, introduced the world to the idea of hypnotism. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:14 | |
What seems to be the case is that most of the discomfort we feel - | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
even in an operation like sawing off a leg - is the ANXIETY of pain. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:22 | |
If you can relieve yourself of the anxiety, | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
an enormous amount of the pain goes | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
and a good example to prove this is people who are in some way | 0:02:26 | 0:02:30 | |
allergic to or resistant to anaesthetic | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
and so can't be put under because it's too risky. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
So they're injected with Valium, | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
which is an anti-anxiety drug and all it does is tranquillise them. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
It doesn't send them to sleep, it just makes them feel less anxious. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:47 | |
PHILL: If I was going in for surgery, | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
I'd feel anxious when I saw the man in the top hat with the crazy eyebrows. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:53 | |
You're kind of suggesting | 0:02:55 | 0:02:56 | |
that a lot of pain is just a manifestation of anxiety, isn't it? | 0:02:56 | 0:03:03 | |
The fact is, pain is created by the brain. It's not a real thing. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:07 | |
-It's just information, isn't it? -Information. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
The brain can create it, the brain can be told not to. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
-It's bloody sore information! -It doesn't help. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
You land a mallet on your thumb, "It's just information! It's just information!" | 0:03:15 | 0:03:20 | |
-It doesn't really help. -Yes, hypnotic anaesthesia can be surprisingly effective | 0:03:20 | 0:03:24 | |
though it seems to work mostly by helping you relax. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
You need answer only one of the following. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
What's the best way to hypnotise either A - an alligator, B - a tiger shark or C - a chicken? | 0:03:30 | 0:03:36 | |
-I've seen them do it to sharks. -And what do they do? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
-Don't they lie them on their backs or something? -Exactly right, you flip it over. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:43 | |
But I thought sharks had to keep moving in order to survive. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
Which is why whales have learned to tip them over, to make them suffocate and it will kill them. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:52 | |
-There's a very small hammerhead shark being flipped. -That is a toy shark. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:57 | |
Or a really big diver. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
-A frighteningly big diver. -I think we'd have heard of him! | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
-I think we would. -'Your lids are heavy.' | 0:04:07 | 0:04:09 | |
I think I know how to do chickens. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
-Yes? -It's weird because it actually looks like you're...oppressing them | 0:04:12 | 0:04:16 | |
-quite violently, but you have to hold them to the ground and draw a line. -Yes! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:22 | |
You draw a line from their beak along | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
and they just stare at it. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
That's what they do. It's called tonic immobility in animals and that's an example of it. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:33 | |
There's another way to do it to chickens. Take a stick or a paddle... | 0:04:33 | 0:04:38 | |
In this case, a light flagellation paddle I happen to have in the house. You fix eyes to it | 0:04:38 | 0:04:43 | |
and hold it up to it and it will apparently stare at it forever. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
Our producer tried it on his - we're the kind of show whose producers have chickens - | 0:04:46 | 0:04:52 | |
and he says it didn't work at all, they just went off to eat things. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
You just made that up, didn't you? | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
No, no, it is in all the books. It says that that is a way to hypnotise them. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
-ROBERT: -In all the books?! | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
In all of the chicken-hypnotising books? All of them? | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
How many are there? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:08 | |
This is why you can't ever let your chickens watch the Muppets. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
Frogs, lizards, crocodiles, sharks, all go into a trance | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
if they're turned over onto their backs and held there for just a few seconds. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:21 | |
Rabbits and guinea pigs do the same if you stroke them or roll them over first. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
Do you know how you wake up rabbits and guinea pigs if they're in that state? | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
You let a dog in. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
The kinder way is to blow on their nose. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
-On the nose? -Yes, a little blow on the nose will do. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:40 | |
-What have I hypnotised, do you know? -Hugh Laurie. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
-STEPHEN LAUGHS -No, I did on a television programme. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
When I was in Maine, doing this documentary about America... | 0:05:47 | 0:05:51 | |
-What is the most famous animal in Maine? -A lobster? | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
A lobster, we have a lobster in here. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:56 | |
-Ooh! -There it is. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
-Now how did I do this? -LAUGHTER | 0:05:58 | 0:06:02 | |
I stroked... I remember. There you are. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
You stroke him here, that's it. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
He goes completely still. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:09 | |
I remember the one I did in Maine, it was... | 0:06:09 | 0:06:14 | |
I could stand him up on his own. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
You can see, there it is. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:17 | |
They seem smaller there. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
There he is, completely still, not moving a muscle. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:25 | |
-PHILL LAUGHS -A mussel! | 0:06:25 | 0:06:28 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
There he is, completely still, | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
and if I lift him up, | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
his tail will come up usually | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
and he'll wake up. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:39 | |
Erm...have I killed you? | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
No, there he is. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
He's all right. He's still asleep. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
-Anyway... -LAUGHTER | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
There we are, he's quite active now, under there. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
So dinner's sorted. | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
So he's going back to the zoo, Stephen? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
Of course, I'm going to throw him back into the sea, naturally. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
You truly are a Renaissance man. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
I wear tights, put it that way. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:11 | |
What about, though... I mean that's humans hypnotising animals. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:17 | |
Can animals hypnotise humans? | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
There was a dog - Oscar the hypno-dog - | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
who was... There he is, look. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
-Those are pretty amazing eyes. -ALAN: -I'm feeling it now. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
I'll go and get the biscuits. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:33 | |
The thing is, | 0:07:36 | 0:07:37 | |
he can keep up that stare into a human's eyes for a very long time. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
-ROBERT: -Depending on what human wants to be stared at! | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
-Does he charge hourly? -ALAN: -Pack it in, Oscar. Stop looking at me. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:51 | |
Hugh Lennon was his trainer. He did go missing and a reward | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
was posted for his return, though the public were warned not to look into his eyes. | 0:07:56 | 0:08:01 | |
Does that sound like a publicity stunt to try and get tickets? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
"Oscar the hypno-dog is loose! Don't look at him!" | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
"I've seen him. He's in the park." | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
Presumably when he's running around, someone thought they'd find him and go, "It's Oscar the hypno-dog," | 0:08:13 | 0:08:19 | |
and he'd go, "I'm not the dog you're looking for. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:23 | |
"I'm a Pomeranian." | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
So, yes, dogs can apparently hypnotise humans. Snakes... | 0:08:27 | 0:08:31 | |
maybe not humans, but they're said to be able to freeze a rabbit by staring at them. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
-They're very gullible, rabbits. -Oh, please! -They believe anything. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:39 | |
-They're quite grumpy. -Grumpy? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
-Yes. -They can be aggressive. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:42 | |
They're not supposed to be very good pets. They're very grumpy... and violent. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:47 | |
I like the Dutch ones you can ride. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:48 | |
Surely not? | 0:08:50 | 0:08:51 | |
They're huge, they're massive! | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
OK, maybe not ride. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:55 | |
Crush. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
-That is a rabbit costume. -A Dutchman wearing a rabbit costume. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:02 | |
DUTCH ACCENT: "OK, I am wearing a saddle and it's time to go." | 0:09:02 | 0:09:07 | |
I love rabbits. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
Oh, my... | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
"Wow, I am thinking maybe I should have had a smaller celebrity." | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
So, yes, many animals can be put into a trance, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
but it's probably better to practise on the ones lower down the food chain first. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:23 | |
So why not consult Zoe D Katze, PhD, CHt, DAPA? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:29 | |
That's a pretty good series of... I would say... | 0:09:29 | 0:09:34 | |
-Anagrams. -Hell of an anagram. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Is she invisible? There's nobody there. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
'Your eyelids are heavy.' | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
-Is she an animal hypnotherapist? -She is an animal hypnotherapist. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:44 | |
She's a cat. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:45 | |
-Eh?! -Zoe D Katze is a cat with a PhD, | 0:09:45 | 0:09:49 | |
a CHt and that diploma. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
I think Oscar is sitting opposite her. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
It's a man called Steve Eichel who is an academic | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
who wanted to demonstrate the ease with which you can get | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
a doctorate online or any of these apparently important professional | 0:10:05 | 0:10:11 | |
Hypnotherapy Association qualifications, | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
-all of which were given to a cat. -Oh, great. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
The point is once you get one, you can use the others to parlay | 0:10:16 | 0:10:21 | |
until you get a whole list of them. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
She has a doctorate in counselling psychology from a mail-order university | 0:10:23 | 0:10:27 | |
and the CHt is a certified hypnotherapist - | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
in the National Guild Of Hypnotists, no less - | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
and the DAPA is a Diplomat of the American Psychotherapy Association, | 0:10:32 | 0:10:37 | |
both qualifications which are supposed to connote genuine professional standing. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:42 | |
Oh, my cat's only got a BA! | 0:10:42 | 0:10:45 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
It is astonishing, isn't it? There are also what are called diploma mills and degree mills, | 0:10:48 | 0:10:52 | |
which give out either a fake diploma from a real university | 0:10:52 | 0:10:56 | |
or, as it were, a real one from a fake college that doesn't exist, | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
like they make up one that says "Christ's College, Oxford" or something. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
Are those hats falling from the sky or are there hands beneath them? | 0:11:04 | 0:11:08 | |
-There are. -Is that how you get your hat? They're dropped out of a plane and you have to catch one? | 0:11:08 | 0:11:13 | |
Throw it in the air at your excitement of having got a degree. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
I like to think that underneath that photo there's about 60 cats. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
Miaow! | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
The thing is, that if you were a cat, | 0:11:22 | 0:11:25 | |
because of the tassels, you wouldn't leave them alone, would you? | 0:11:25 | 0:11:29 | |
I've got diplomas for all of you. Alan, you can put that on the wall. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:39 | |
ABSO? | 0:11:39 | 0:11:40 | |
Ronni, ABSO. That's a QI award. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
-Academy of Advanced Banter. -It actually has... | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Do you get letters from the American Biographers' Association or something? | 0:11:46 | 0:11:50 | |
And they say, "You have been selected as one of the men of the year..." | 0:11:50 | 0:11:56 | |
-Oh, it's a scam. -"..by the American Biographers' Association for expertise in your field." | 0:11:56 | 0:12:01 | |
All you have to do is pay 700. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
And it says, yes, "If you would send 695, we'll send you a plaque." | 0:12:04 | 0:12:08 | |
I've got 12. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
-LAUGHTER -Well, there you are, yes, | 0:12:10 | 0:12:14 | |
pseudo-credentialling, it's a big issue. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
Other qualifications which the same Eichel who gave Zoe the cat her... | 0:12:16 | 0:12:21 | |
or managed to get her these qualifications, | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
he found energy therapist qualifications easily got, | 0:12:23 | 0:12:27 | |
past-life regression therapist and alien abduction therapist. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:31 | |
-That's sad. -I want to do that course. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
Yes. I'm going to get a guinea pig and make it an alien abduction therapist. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:40 | |
Yes, the Zoe the cat is a cat, but that doesn't make her a bad person. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
I need your help. How can we persuade the audience to elect me Pope | 0:12:44 | 0:12:49 | |
without them noticing that we've done it? | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
That's odd. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:57 | |
That's wrong. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:58 | |
My hand is not that liver-spotted! | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
I'm having that. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
You wouldn't wear such cheap cassocks either. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:09 | |
No, I wouldn't either. No, that's so odd. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
Is there a technique? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
Suppose I wanted to sell them something without telling them. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
-Some sort of mass suggestion. -Subliminal advertising. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
Subliminal advertising... | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
KLAXON BLARES | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
Horribly cruel of me to try and pull it out of you | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
and then punish you for it. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
No, the fact is, subliminal advertising has never been shown to work. It's a complete myth. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:35 | |
Although it's banned by most broadcasting authorities and the FCC in America, | 0:13:35 | 0:13:39 | |
it's not actually ever been shown to work. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
In fact, the person who invented it in 1957 - a man called Vicary - in 1962 | 0:13:42 | 0:13:46 | |
he admitted he'd falsified the evidence. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
He claimed he'd used it and sold lots of cola and burgers | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
by putting in a flash frame, a single frame out of 24 frames a second. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:56 | |
Obviously the eye doesn't consciously register... | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
It just hasn't been shown to work. I remember they did one in the Young Ones. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
-They did it all the time in the Young Ones. -Yes, they did. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:07 | |
It's like going back to my childhood and I'm remembering it all now. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:11 | |
-Your childhood?! -Well... | 0:14:11 | 0:14:12 | |
-Yes, Ronni, deal with it. -LAUGHTER | 0:14:12 | 0:14:16 | |
Anyway, sound - do we know any stories of audio subliminal messages? | 0:14:16 | 0:14:21 | |
Oh, the court cases about "backward masking" they call it, which is, you know, satanic messages. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:28 | |
-Judas Priest. -Yes, perhaps the most alarming story was two boys | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
who committed suicide, or attempted suicide, | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
-and their parents took Judas Priest to court. -They did. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
Do you know what the message was supposedly in the track? | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
-It was... "Do it, do it now." -"Do it, do it now." Yes. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:44 | |
So Halford, as part of the court case, went in with a load of records | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
and played them backwards and then just read out a list of things you could hear | 0:14:48 | 0:14:53 | |
in records when played backwards just to show how... | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
He also said, "I don't wish to paint myself as greedy, | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
"but if we were going to put a message in it would be, 'Buy more of our records.'" He also said, | 0:14:59 | 0:15:04 | |
"Do it doesn't mean kill yourself." | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
-Stephen, the song WAS called Suicide Solution. -Oh, was it? -Yes. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:10 | |
Finally, being in a pop quiz pays off! | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
Other subliminal images have been seen, Lenin, for example, was seen by some in the Labour Party rose, | 0:15:21 | 0:15:27 | |
there. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
-That's someone from Planet of the Apes. -It's more like that, isn't it? | 0:15:29 | 0:15:34 | |
But there we are. So, yes, subliminal advertising doesn't... | 0:15:34 | 0:15:38 | |
work. Seriously though, I'd be very pleased. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
Anyway, what kind of behaviour would you expect from a superstitious pigeon? | 0:15:41 | 0:15:46 | |
They always wear their feathers in exactly the same colour and exactly the same order every day. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:52 | |
Well, it is just that sort of superstition that pigeons have been found to exhibit. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:57 | |
It's quite interesting, a very well-known American psychiatrist called B F Skinner, | 0:15:57 | 0:16:03 | |
he found that if you feed pigeons at predetermined intervals, | 0:16:03 | 0:16:08 | |
the pigeons, because they can't predict when the food is coming, | 0:16:08 | 0:16:12 | |
they seem to register what they were doing at the time the food arrived | 0:16:12 | 0:16:16 | |
and repeat the action to make the food come next time, which is a very human thing. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:21 | |
It's like humans blowing on dice before a game of craps. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:25 | |
They would walk in anti-clockwise circles because maybe twice they were walking anticlockwise | 0:16:25 | 0:16:30 | |
when the food arrived and they think that must be why the food comes. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:34 | |
-That's not superstitious, that's just hopeful. -It's superstitious. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
Last time I won this game, I was wearing one red sock and one blue, so I'll wear | 0:16:37 | 0:16:41 | |
a red sock and a blue sock again, sportsmen do it all the time. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:45 | |
-They repeat actions that happened before... -People do it all the time. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:49 | |
-It's called magical thinking, where you think you're having an effect on the world. -Exactly. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:54 | |
-And you're not. -You're not. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
I can't watch this match because the last round, I didn't watch and we won. | 0:16:56 | 0:17:01 | |
Or I was standing up when England scored a goal, so I've got to stand up for the rest of the match. | 0:17:01 | 0:17:06 | |
-I'm going to go to the toilet now, we'll definitely score. -All that. We do it all the time. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:12 | |
-My uncle, when he lights a cigar, we always score. -Yes, it happens to all of us. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:17 | |
They're all dead now, because I killed them. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
It's almost like a form of megalomania, isn't it, in a bizarre sort of way. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:26 | |
-That we could possibly affect the outcome. -Yes. -That is the nature of superstition. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:30 | |
It's quite hard, it has to be said, | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
to find any definition of superstition that doesn't also cover religion. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:37 | |
It makes the same promises, the same suggestions of individual actions... | 0:17:37 | 0:17:42 | |
You convince yourself you're involved | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
in the world somehow - if I wear my lucky scarf, then I'm really in the game. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:50 | |
-And you're just wearing a scarf. -Yes, that's right, it is. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:54 | |
And each religion will regard other religions as superstition and theirs as not being. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:59 | |
I am religious, you are superstitious. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
In the Catholic Church, it is a sin to be superstitious. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
-You'll change that when you're Pope. -I'll change that when I'm Pope, yes. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
-APPLAUSE -No, no, stop. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
What are we going to do with the gold? | 0:18:11 | 0:18:16 | |
"And as Pope Stephen walks out onto the balcony, underneath the ladder, with several black cats..." | 0:18:16 | 0:18:24 | |
American psychologist B F Skinner managed to train pigeons to be superstitious | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
by giving them arbitrary food rewards and keeping his fingers crossed, and best of luck to him. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:33 | |
Now, what's hysterical about wandering womb trouble? | 0:18:33 | 0:18:37 | |
-Wandering womb. -Hysterical as in, that's Janet Leigh in Psycho. -It certainly is. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:42 | |
-But she didn't have a wandering womb, she was being stabbed to death by a maniac. -She was. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:47 | |
-She was hysterical for a very good reason. -Yes. What does hysterical mean? Where does the word come from? | 0:18:47 | 0:18:53 | |
'You're feeling sleepy.' | 0:18:53 | 0:18:54 | |
-I think this is something to do with hysterectomies. -Yes. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
Originally... | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
The Greek word for uterus is hystera, so the word hysteria? | 0:19:00 | 0:19:04 | |
Yes, it was Hippocrates also who thought | 0:19:04 | 0:19:08 | |
that there was a correlation between mental un-balance and the womb becoming wandering around the body. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:16 | |
He thought the womb, like an animal, moved around the female body. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:19 | |
I've got a very good female friend who's a gynaecologist who was telling me. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:24 | |
That is how the word hysteria came about, | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
it was associated entirely with women from the same root as hysterectomy. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:30 | |
-She's hysterical, slap her! -Yes, slap her, that was the attitude that men had towards women's illnesses or | 0:19:30 | 0:19:36 | |
particularly neuroses, that somehow it was to do with them being women, and women of a certain age | 0:19:36 | 0:19:42 | |
were associated with all kinds of what were called hysterias, hysterical responses. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:47 | |
But it was Freud who said that almost | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
for every real condition, you might have a hysterical version which was created by the mind, | 0:19:50 | 0:19:55 | |
but it was as real, it wasn't feigned, that's the point. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
-This was before hysterical became a synonym for hilarious? -Yes. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:03 | |
"You have a hysterical condition." "Well, it doesn't feel very hysterical to me!" | 0:20:03 | 0:20:08 | |
But there is such a thing as hysterical blindness and muteness, | 0:20:08 | 0:20:13 | |
people will lose the ability to see, although physically there is nothing wrong with their eyes at all. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:20 | |
Anyway, hysteria, as Ronni rightly knew, used to be attributed | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
to the womb roaming about the body, interfering with other organs. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:28 | |
Doctors thought it would cause anything from a nervous breakdown to blindness. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
Now a question which will test your reflexes. Watch the film here of the setting sun. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:36 | |
All I want you to do is to hit your buzzer at the moment the sun has dropped below the horizon. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:41 | |
It's speeded up, obviously. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
'Eyelids are heavy.' | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
You got there first. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:55 | |
KLAXON | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
Well too late! Well too late! | 0:20:58 | 0:21:03 | |
That is the moment at which the sun is below the horizon. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
What we see is a mirage. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
You're looking at me as if to say... | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
-Is this to do with how far away it is? -It's to do with | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
the bending of light and the eye not accepting it, but it is genuinely below the horizon. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:21 | |
Physically, the Earth has turned such that it is not there. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:27 | |
I know you're looking very cross and "That can't be true!" about it. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:33 | |
That's a film of it, though. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
I know, but you can get thermal mirages and there's nothing there, on the roadside, water puddles. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:42 | |
You get rainbows and they're not there. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:44 | |
That's a photograph, but it's not there. There's no water there, it's just air. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:49 | |
I'll try and explain. Light from the setting sun passes through our atmosphere at a shallow angle | 0:21:49 | 0:21:54 | |
and gradually bends as the air density increases, | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
not dissimilar to the image of your legs in a swimming pool. The effect artificially raises | 0:21:57 | 0:22:01 | |
the sun in the last few minutes of its decline, and by coincidence, | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
the amount of bending is pretty much equal to the diameter of the sun. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:09 | |
So it's exactly as it's there, but it's actually disappeared. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:14 | |
-I hate this show. -Oh, Phill! | 0:22:14 | 0:22:19 | |
-Be interested, please. -The sun is there. -I know. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:24 | |
And you're like, "No." | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
"It's the sun!" "Not there. Mirage." | 0:22:27 | 0:22:35 | |
Have you ever seen a mirage? | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
-Yes. -Where? -Travelling through the desert in America, you see them all the time. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:43 | |
The standard ones in the roads. What appear to be huge puddles of shimmering lakes of water, | 0:22:43 | 0:22:48 | |
which are not there. You must have seen those in the roads. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
Yes, but I grew up in Scotland, and they are there. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:55 | |
-Fair enough. -In New Zealand, you get quite bad sunstrike off the roads, causes accidents. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:05 | |
And what does that entail? | 0:23:05 | 0:23:07 | |
Because New Zealand is so low on the planet, if you see what I mean, | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
and the sun comes through quite a lot of atmosphere to get to it, | 0:23:11 | 0:23:16 | |
and the angle of it when it hits the road causes a lot of blindness in the eyes of drivers. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:21 | |
-Right. -I daresay that the drivers in New Zealand, as they see | 0:23:21 | 0:23:25 | |
the sun setting, are reassured to know that it's not there. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:31 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:36 | 0:23:40 | |
Yes, the fact is that despite Phill's reluctance to understand it, | 0:23:40 | 0:23:44 | |
that the setting sun is actually below the horizon the moment | 0:23:44 | 0:23:48 | |
that its lower edge seems to touch the sea. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
So to the place where everything you think you know proves to be an illusion, | 0:23:50 | 0:23:54 | |
the nightmare that we call General Ignorance. Fingers on buzzers, please. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
What shape is this staircase? | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
'Eyelids are heavy.' | 0:24:00 | 0:24:02 | |
-Yes, Phill. -It's not there. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
Now, Phill! | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
'Very sleepy.' | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
Spiral. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
KLAXON | 0:24:17 | 0:24:20 | |
I'm very happy for you. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
-'Eyelids are heavy.' -It is a helix? | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
Yes, it's helical, well done, exactly right. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
It's terribly pedantic, but a spiral is when it gets bigger and bigger and wider and wider, | 0:24:28 | 0:24:33 | |
-and a helix, it stays the same, as a staircase does. -(I knew that!) | 0:24:33 | 0:24:38 | |
But you just wanted the forfeit, didn't you? Yes. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:41 | |
So, strictly speaking, a spiral staircase is actually helical. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
So why are there so many lavatories in the Pentagon? | 0:24:45 | 0:24:50 | |
Er, one each? | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
-Do you know how many people work in the Pentagon? -Thousands. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:56 | |
23,000. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
There aren't 23,000 lavatories, so, no, I'm afraid it's a really ghastly reason. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:02 | |
-Where is it? -Virginia. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:05 | |
Virginia is a southern state and it had laws, not nice laws. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:11 | |
-Oh, no. -Segregation. By law, you had to have one lavatory for white people | 0:25:11 | 0:25:16 | |
and one for black people, so there were double the number. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:19 | |
I'm afraid it's true, it's a horrible truth. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
It shouldn't have happened, because it was built in the '40s under the presidency of FDR, | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
who had specifically outlawed racial segregation in federal... | 0:25:26 | 0:25:32 | |
he couldn't legislate for the states but he could say that no federal building... | 0:25:32 | 0:25:36 | |
So when he arrived for his first inspection, he was told, | 0:25:36 | 0:25:39 | |
he was furious that there were all these lavatories. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
Well, it's not very PC, it's true, but have you ever been for a queue in the ladies' loo? | 0:25:42 | 0:25:47 | |
So it's nice for you that there are so many, yes. You racist. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:51 | |
But although they built them all for that reason, | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
they were banned from using it and they were never racially segregated. | 0:25:56 | 0:26:00 | |
Look at all the tennis courts they've got as well. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
That centre bit alone, just to give you a sense of the scale of it, is five acres, just the middle bit. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:08 | |
17 and a half miles of corridor, at least 284 lavatories, six separate zip codes, | 0:26:08 | 0:26:15 | |
just the Pentagon, but apparently, it takes only seven minutes to walk from one place to another. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:22 | |
Only one cleaner, they have. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
Yes, poor darling. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
Name something invented by Vyacheslav Molotov. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:31 | |
'Very sleepy.' | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
A Molotov cocktail. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
Oh! | 0:26:36 | 0:26:38 | |
KLAXON | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
He didn't invent the Molotov cocktail. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
He invented the Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
-Which he is drinking there. -Yes, having one right now. Pina colada. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:59 | |
Well, he invented some grim things like death lists. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:03 | |
The Molotov line, like the Maginot line, a defensive line, various other things. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:07 | |
-He was a Bolshevik. -He was a Bolshevik, he was the Foreign Minister under Stalin, all the way. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
He lived until 1986. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
A very exciting job, Foreign Minister under Stalin. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
-You can imagine, absolutely. -Every day, "What are we going to do today?" | 0:27:16 | 0:27:20 | |
"I don't know. Have you asked him?" "He hasn't woken up yet." | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
He claimed his country, in the war against Finland, was dropping food parcels | 0:27:23 | 0:27:27 | |
when it was dropping cluster bombs. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:28 | |
So the Finns called them Molotov's breadbaskets, these bombs that came down. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:34 | |
When they fought against the Soviet tanks... Don't forget, the Finns beat the Russians. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:39 | |
It was quite an amazing war. They used petrol bombs and they said, | 0:27:39 | 0:27:42 | |
"These are Molotov cocktails to go with the bread you're giving us," | 0:27:42 | 0:27:45 | |
so it was kind of their joke. But they humiliated Russia, Finland, | 0:27:45 | 0:27:49 | |
-it was an extraordinary achievement. -Very, very well done. -Yes, very well done, Finland, absolutely. | 0:27:49 | 0:27:54 | |
Which brings me to the real matter of the scores, and my goodness, are they interesting or not? | 0:27:54 | 0:27:59 | |
Well, they are quite interesting. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:00 | |
I'm afraid in fourth place, with minus 32, it's Robert Webb. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:04 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 | |
And in third place with minus 17, Ronni Ancona. | 0:28:08 | 0:28:13 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:28:13 | 0:28:15 | |
-In second place, Alan Davies with minus eight. -Thanks very much. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:22 | |
Which means our runaway winner, | 0:28:22 | 0:28:24 | |
our solar sceptic with minus two, Phill Jupitus. | 0:28:24 | 0:28:28 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I'm not here. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:31 | |
That's all from QI. Goodnight from Ronni, Robert, Phill, Alan and me, | 0:28:38 | 0:28:41 | |
and I will leave you with this thought. | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
You will tune in again next week, you will. Goodnight. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:47 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:29:06 | 0:29:09 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:29:09 | 0:29:12 |