J-Places QI

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,

and that's the fewest times I've ever said good evening,

and welcome to QI,

where tonight we'll be journeying to jestinations beginning with J.

And joining me are the jet-skiing Sandi Toksvig...

..the jet-setting Susan Calman...

..the jet-engined Bill Bailey...

..and, still being probed by Gatwick security, Alan Davies.

Now let's hear your buzzers. And Sandi goes...

RACING CAR

Susan goes...

JET ENGINE

Bill goes...

FAST VEHICLE ENGINE

And Alan goes...

CAR ENGINE CHOKES

Try that again.

CHOKES AGAIN

-No, it's never going to work, is it?

-Flooded it.

-Yeah, absolutely.

Well, let's have an easy one to start with.

Strictly speaking, where does the phrase Chariots Of Fire come from?

-It's a film.

-It's a film.

-Where did it originate?

It's something to do with this.

Where does the phrase originate?

-It's a quotation.

-SANDI: It's a quotation.

-From what?

-Shakespeare, must be Shakespeare.

-No.

BILL: Oh, the Chariots Of Fire.

Wordsworth, Jerusalem, the hymn Jerusalem.

ALARM BELLS

-You fell finally into our trap.

-Finally! It took a while. Sorry, it's the first question.

It was slightly embarrassing how long it took you to get the wrong answer.

Yes, I did start by saying "strictly speaking".

Strictly speaking it comes from a poem by William Blake, called...?

-Chariots Of Fire.

-No.

I'm ashamed of you.

You must know the first line of...

I must, but I can't be arsed to tell you.

-Well, you're not English, that's fair.

-Fair.

-And...

-And did...

-BILL & SANDI: Those feet in ancient times.

-Thank you!

Finally we got there.

-Oh, I know that!

-Yes!

That's the name of the poem

-from which the line "chariots of fire" comes.

-Oh.

The tune is called Jerusalem.

# And did those feet... #

And it's referred, mistakenly as a hymn.

# In ancient times... #

Thank you for starting in my key.

# Walk upon England's la la la... #

Come on!

Bring... oh, clouds unfold.

Yes, really what I'm after is, what does it mean? And whose feet?

-Jesus, surely.

-Right. So what is the story of Jesus coming to England?

-Is there a film about it?

-Yes.

-Not to my knowledge.

-SANDI: And then they all...

Well, then, I'm in trouble. I am, as they say, out of...

This is what people say now when they don't know the answer, they say, "I'm out of my comfort zone."

You have been the equivalent of

-sitting on spikes for the last ten years, Alan.

-Yeah!

I have yet to discover your comfort zone.

-OK, listen, there is a legend that Jesus came to England.

-Yes.

And he was said to have gone to a particular place.

-SANDI: Was it Glastonbury?

-The audience know. Ah, thank you.

-Glastonbury.

-Glastonbury. Glastonbury Tor.

-And he went with his uncle. What was his uncle's name?

-Bob.

-Uncle Bob Christ?

-Bob's your uncle.

Yeah, they were a bit more...

Surely they were more informal in those times, surely. Bob Christ.

-His uncle's name was the same as his father's name.

-Joseph.

Joseph. And he was named after a place.

Is it like working with very slow children, Stephen?

-BILL: Arimathea.

-Thank you!

-Say it again so the camera can get it, clearly.

-Right. Oh, OK.

-This is a new thing we're doing.

-Hang on a second.

ALAN'S BUZZER

Hey, hang on!

You had your chance.

-I was just composing my face.

-Joseph of Arimathea.

No, I said it! I said it!

Joseph of Arimathea.

I'm going to throw cold water over you both in a minute.

Joseph of Arimathea.

ALAN'S BUZZER

Joseph of Arimathea!

It was the first ever Glastonbury Festival, if you will.

It was that Jesus supposedly came with his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea,

who is mentioned in the Gospels,

although, it has to be said, Arimathea is only mentioned once,

and that is in relation to the place Joseph came from.

No-one knows where it is, where it was, where it could have been. Anyway...

It could have been a falafel tent. Nobody knows.

Jesus was effectively the first act, then.

-He was the first act ever to appear at Glasto.

-He was the first on at Glastonbury.

Was he a juggler? Did he have bongos? Was he doing the diablo thing?

He did holistic balancing.

Three rooms of banging scripture.

All right, OK.

So there was a myth that Jesus and Joseph of Arimathea came...

Supposedly, Joseph of Arimathea was after tin,

and he came with Jesus, went to Glastonbury Tor and there's a tree.

SANDI: Tree, isn't there, the Glastonbury tree. Did Mary come?

-Supposedly, it was planted... Sorry?

-Mary, the mother.

-I just wondered if Mum came as well.

-I don't think she did.

-Boys' weekend.

We don't know. Boys' weekend!

But I will give you 20 points each if you can mention the two other places the myth says they went to.

Glastonbury is one, but they were said to have gone to two other places.

-Wait! I know this.

-Torquay?

-No.

Because there's a group called the Aetherius Society, and they believe...

Oh, they're your neighbours, aren't they?

They're my neighbours in Devon,

and they believe that Christ appeared to them on the top of this hill,

and the founder of the Aetherius Society said he was doing the washing up in his flat,

and he heard a voice say,

"You have been chosen as the planetary representative of Earth."

So, immediately, he went, "Oh, right. I'd better do that, then."

-So he left the drying up?

-He left the drying up to someone else.

-And the putting away?

Can I just ask how much Bill knows about washing up?

Cos you do it like you're typing. You did that for washing up.

It's just a little, gentle caress of each thing.

And then that to get rid of the plates.

-He eats his dinner off old keyboards.

-Yeah.

That's my life.

-Anyway, the places were, in fact, Penzance was one.

-Oh!

And the other was Falmouth.

-Oh, I see.

-And I'm sure he had a lovely time.

-A pasty, did he have a pasty?

-He would have had a pasty.

Now, why might my pockets smell of fish?

They've done that thing where they take my body

-and put it on the head of someone who looks a bit like me.

-Ah, yes.

I hate when they do that.

God, that's like a dream I had last night! This is so weird.

It's not like a dream I've ever had.

But I mean, obviously, if you're a fisherman...

But if you were a person of a high rank in society,

a particular society, your pockets might smell of fish.

-Oh.

-The Fishmongers' Society.

-Well, no.

That's what I mean. Aside from the obvious professional reasons why you might smell of fish.

-Oh, right.

-It's a society in which it was considered polite not to eat,

-but to pocket the fish at a banquet.

-Is it Japanese, cos...?

-Yes!

-Cos fish, fish, they love fish.

-Japanese is exactly right.

Medieval Japanese society, at weddings and banquets

and other such things, it was right to drink the drink you were given,

but that you should take the fish, bring it up to your mouth and then tuck it away into your pocket.

-I know it seems very odd.

-What?

It's just a social...

I've done that with sausage rolls for the dogs later.

We've all done it with certain things, I agree.

But it is an interesting thing, and they still have a tradition in Japan,

when a baby is 100 days old,

is to take food, sea bream and beans and soya and rice,

and wave it in front of the baby's face, but not let the baby eat it.

Wait a minute. So there's people dangling fish in front of babies?

This is... Right, OK. What, on a fishing line?

No, no! From the food cupboard or the fridge,

which in Japan would be filled with all kinds of different fish, as you can imagine.

-I see, I see. Sashimi.

-Sashimi and sushi and all kinds of other such things.

-In fact, while on the subject of sashimi...

-BILL: Weird, weirdos.

-What is the difference between sushi and sashimi?

-Sashimi is raw fish.

And sushi is rice and seaweed and that kind of thing.

Yes, it's rolled in rice.

And the particular thing about sashimi is not just that it's raw fish, but that it's...?

-It's sliced.

-It's sliced at an angle.

Those huge knife skills are incredibly important in Japanese cuisine.

This particularly used to be true in the medieval period.

And in carp, for example,

there were at least 47 different ways of cutting carp,

which represented different aspects of human life or activity.

For example, there was "departing for battle carp".

So soldiers would have carp carved in a certain way before they went to battle.

If they weren't told they were going to battle, the carp was the giveaway.

Yeah, exactly. There was "celebratory carp".

-There was "taking a bride carp".

-Ooh!

-"Flower viewing carp".

-No! Really?

BILL: "Warning carp". Look out, carp!

"Moon viewing carp".

So it was a very important part, obviously, of Japanese life, the way they prepared fish.

It's a wonderful art, obviously,

and it's a very popular cuisine now around the world.

I have an amusing joke that I always say when I'm in a Japanese restaurant -

bring me a various selection of things to drink, waiter,

and don't get all sake.

Oh, you see! Hey!

But what actually is sake? What is sake?

-Rice...?

-Rice wine.

-Rice wine, you said, Alan?

-Yes, rice wine?

Alan came in first with rice wine.

-He said it!

-Yeah.

-It is not rice wine.

-Oh.

-No.

The actual word sake simply means alcoholic drink.

But the sake we think of as sake is in fact a kind of beer.

The word they use for the drink we call sake is "Nihonshu",

which means Japanese liquor. Nihon, as in Nippon.

Anyway, originally, people would just chew rice

and spit into a large container,

and the enzymes from the spittle would cause the breakdown of starch into sugars,

which would cause the fermentation, which would make the sake.

So it is actually a strong beer, not a wine.

A wine is a fruit-based drink, usually grape, obviously.

What other kinds of particularly Japanese things can you do to food to make it Japanese?

-You can put it in tempura.

-Tempura.

Funny you should say that cos tempura was actually introduced to Japan,

and I will give you ten points if you can tell me which nation

taught the Japanese to batter things, which is essentially what tempura is.

ALL: Scottish.

You'd think, wouldn't you? You would think.

Surely there's a ginger-haired man somewhere,

in one of those medieval scrolls, just going...

-"Do you want to deep-fry that?"

-Yeah. "That would be magic, it really would."

-"Have we got any eggs?"

-Oddly enough not, no.

-It was the Portuguese.

-Portuguese!

-The Portuguese.

Also, the name vindaloo is originally from Portuguese origin, from Goa.

Is it? I thought that was a French...

-Vin de loo - toilet water.

-Goa, as you know, was...

But there you go.

Anyway, so lots of interesting things about Japanese food.

Now, I'm having a senior moment. The famous volcano near Java?

-Krakatoa.

-Krakatoa.

What's the name of the movie?

-Krakatoa...

-Erupts?

-SANDI: Krakatoa East of Java.

-East of Java, yes.

-And oddly enough, it's actually west of Java.

-West of Java, yes.

It is an odd thing, but it was one of the first

big Cinerama kind of movies, called Krakatoa East of Java.

It was just a bizarre lie, because Krakatoa is west of Java.

So some producer must have thought, "I don't like the sound of West of Java."

"It's not going to sell. What can we do? We can take it north. North, south?

"East! East, it's going to be fantastic."

So, within ten years, tell me when this great huge explosion?

-1883.

-1883.

Erm, 1882.

Right.

Ladies and gentlemen, viewers at home,

-brace yourselves.

-Oh, hello.

The explosion, the great enormous, gigantic eruption of Krakatoa

was in 1883.

I thank you.

-I saw a documentary about it.

-May I just say...

W-T-F?

There was a documentary about it on the BBC and they re-enacted it.

Well, well remembered! I mean, it's not an easily, not particularly...

I don't normally remember anything.

It was the loudest sound, apparently, that has ever existed,

or at least as far as we know, certainly within human reckoning.

So, four atomic bombs is sort of the average...

Oh, no, no! It was 13 times greater than the Hiroshima bomb.

Oh, was it? Wow!

Five cubic miles of rock was spewed into the air,

and it was heard 3,000 miles away.

You could actually hear it 3,000 miles away.

-Pop.

-And it... Yes!

LAUGHTER

That's what it sounded like in Australia.

It reverberated around the world, the ripples of it, seven times.

It was a most extraordinary...

Wasn't Krakatoa... Was that the first global event

that sort of was... the news of which spread around the world?

Exactly. We can see behind us, Harper's Weekly.

-It was a media event for the first time.

-Yeah.

-"The island and volcano of Krakatoa Strait of Sunda, submerged during the late eruption."

-Yes.

When eventually a human party of people

arrived at the site, they found one living creature.

And I will give you ten points if you can tell me the species.

-Was it a spider that they found?

-Yes!

-It was a spider.

-What's going on?! Everybody's brilliant.

Absolutely marvellous. Everybody's on cracking form here.

You really are doing superbly well.

Was the spider going, "Ooh, it's hot"?

It was indeed.

It was using two legs at a time.

-Anyway...

-BILL: Like this.

Ooh, ah! Ooh, ah! Ooh, ow! Oh, ah! Ooh, ow! Ooh, ow!, Ooh, ow!

-So it was doing the washing up!

-Yes, it was.

Anyway, moving on.

So, what was the most hurtful thing Rambo's boyfriend did to him?

Right. I've seen this film. It's a bootleg, it's very different from...

-Rambo's boyfriend?

-Well, I'm being very naughty.

Of course, the picture is being very naughty.

-When I say Rambo, I really mean Rimbaud.

-Rimbaud!

So when I say Rimbaud, who do I mean?

-You mean, of course, him.

-But who is he?

-Rimbaud. Somebody French.

-SANDI: He looks off his head on something.

-"Somebody French."

-Arthur?

-Arthur.

-Arthur.

-Rimbaud.

-Rimbaud.

-Arthur Rimbaud, who was?

-He was a great writer, wasn't he?

-A poet.

-He was a great poet, but very rare inasmuch as...

-Got that right! Can't believe it.

We're used to Beethoven and Mozart, and other musicians,

being extraordinarily prodigious at an early age.

It's very rare for a poet.

The greatest work that Rimbaud wrote, and he was a great poet,

was between the ages of 17 and 21.

He was extraordinarily beautiful. According to a school friend,

"He had eyes of pale blue, irradiated with dark blue,

"the loveliest eyes I've ever seen. He was a brilliant student.

"He won a regional poetry competition,

"in spite of sleeping through the first three hours of the exam."

-SANDI: Oh, I've done that.

-At 16, he ran away from home with no money,

and then between the ages of 17 and 21, just four years,

he had this extraordinary flowering as poet.

But, in doing so, he shared his life with someone.

He had a passionate, tumultuous affair with dot, dot, dot.

Katie Price.

His dates were 1854 to 1891.

So he died at 36, 37.

-And he was of a homosexual persuasion?

-A child prodigy, he was gay.

Oh, well, don't know anything about those people.

And in fact there is a blue plaque to him in London,

where he shared a short-ish time with his lover,

who was also a poet, a famous poet.

-Oh. Gerard de Nerval.

-No.

-Gerard de Nerval was a fascinating man.

-He was.

-I very much enjoyed the way you said that.

-Je suis le veuf,

-l'ancontre. Le tenebreux.

-And he also famously had a pet lobster...

-He did indeed.

-..that he used to take for walks on a lead.

-Vite, vite, monsieur!

-Monsieur Clicky.

-Stay with it! Stay with it!

Alors!

Stay with it, because it's ...

Non!

-J'ai fatigue.

-Non! Allez vite.

ALAN CHOKES

-L'eau, s'il vous plait. L'eau!

-Non.

Non, pas de l'eau. Non. Le artichoke.

I never thought I'd see the day when

Bill Bailey force-fed Gerard de Nerval's lobster with an artichoke,

and yet the day came.

Anyway, let's just return to this other poet,

who was the lover of the young Verlaine.

Oh, sorry, Verlaine!

Did I ever give that away! No.

Now, there, on the left is Verlaine,

-the one who looks slightly like John Malkovich.

-Oh.

-In the middle is the boy wonder.

-Rimbaud.

Rimbaud, and on the right is... Erm, I can't remember his name.

-That's Robert de Niro, isn't it?

-It is Robert de Niro, yes.

It is a bit, isn't it, on the right.

It's Robert de Niro, that's who it is.

It's like a 19th century ad for a hairdressers, of all the different styles you can have.

Is that the same person in that picture as it was in the one before?

-It is.

-Jeez. Air-brushing.

-I know.

But they went to live in Camden for a short while

and there is a blue plaque in Camden that says,

"Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine, poet and lovers, lived here."

It was the first blue plaque ever to celebrate a gay couple, which is rather sweet.

Anyway, that's the story of these two. We thought you'd like to know about it, but why...

BILL: Yes, quite interesting.

The question was how did the lover hurt Rimbaud?

-Shut his fingers in the door.

-Yeah.

-Worse than that, he had a tumultuous...

-Oh, it does nip.

-..passionate, jealous rage and shot him in the wrist.

-In the wrist?

-Yes.

Whilst he was masturbating.

I'm going to move on, because you're just simply misbehaving.

-Yeah, move on.

-Yeah.

-It's for the best.

-Anyway.

I am so out of my comfort zone.

It's all good information that is well worth knowing.

Arthur Rimbaud was shot in the arm by Paul Verlaine.

Now, on to one of the delicacies of Jamaican cuisine,

I think we all know how to make cock soup,

but how would you make mannish water?

Sorry, I don't know how to make cock soup.

-I don't like cock soup.

-I don't know what...

-Cock-a-leekie.

Oh, right! Oh, OK.

Cock-a-leekie.

-It's good, chicken soup.

-Oh, I see. Is that what it is?

-A cock is a chicken.

-Cock is a chicken, yeah.

What can you have been thinking?

I don't know, I thought it was some terrible euphemism.

What, a euphemism for pheasant?

I don't... Yes! Yes, that's it, pheasant.

Well, cock soup is chicken soup. Cock-a-leekie.

-Cock-a-leekie soup.

-You've had cock-a-leekie in Scotland.

-I've had cock-a-leekie.

-Yes, you've had a leaky cock. Hey, hey!

No, shush and because...

No, listen, now. Mannish water...

SANDI LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY

It's like Frankie Howerd was in the room.

-BILL & STEPHEN AS HOWERD: No, no.

-No, don't.

-Oh, no.

-Stop it.

-Shush! No.

-Don't.

-No.

-Missus!

-No.

Big belly laughs from all men with big bellies and we'll have little titters from... No!

-All right. Don't you remember that one?

-Oh!

Stop it! Mannish water... Come on, we're in Jamaica.

-Mannish water.

-Yeah.

-Is it some kind of a soupage of some kind?

-Yes.

-It's a soupage.

-Mannish water.

It's Jamaican, is the point.

-Right, so Jamaican food is what you're looking for?

-Yeah.

-Coconuts, plantains.

-It's mannish, though.

The point is they want to be male, so eat male animals.

Oh, OK, so it's a...

-And what food is common in...

-Rice and peas.

-Yes.

-Rice and peas, flying fish.

-Anything else?

-Goat and...

-Goat! Yes.

-Entails of goat.

-That's it.

So all the male parts of a goat - and a male goat is the important thing - makes mannish water.

It's also called goat's head soup.

Does the phrase goat's head soup mean anything to you?

Er, yes, that I'm not hungry, is what it means.

-Anything else?

-It's an album, isn't it?

-Thank you.

Goat's Head Soup, by what's his name?

-It's not his name, their name.

-Oh, God!

-The greatest rock 'n' roll band in the world, they call themselves.

-The Proclaimers.

And you can walk another 100 miles for...

Oh, I love the Proclaimers.

No, I'm very fond of The Proclaimers, but The Rolling Stones...

-Rolling Stones! Rolling Stones.

-In 1973, produced an album called Goat's Head Soup,

because they recorded the album on Jamaica.

And do you know why they recorded the album on Jamaica?

-Island Records.

-SANDI: Because they were mad for the soup.

-No.

Because it was about the only bloody country on earth where they weren't banned from.

It was around the time of a lot of the drugs and all the rest of it,

so they were allowed in Jamaica and made an album called Goat's Head Soup,

which is another word for mannish water.

And its ingredients, should you wish to make it, are goat's head,

feet and intestines, served with bananas and spices.

It's supposed to be an aphrodisiac. It's supposed to man you up,

that's the point. Hence mannish soup.

There's also cow cod soup, made of bull's penis,

chilli peppers and bananas, cooked in white rum.

-Which sounds rather nice.

-That is nice.

Yeah. I like the sound of that.

-I'll pop to Lidl in the morning.

-Yeah.

Anyway, that's mannish water for you.

Now, here are two towns behind me. They both begin with J. Why are they blue?

-Oh! Now, I know this.

-Yes?

-Well, I know one of them.

-Go on, then.

I've got a Smurf collection, I've had it many years.

When I was younger, I used to collect Smurfs, it was my hobby.

I've got a Smurf village, I created when I was younger,

it's still there, reminds me of the bad times.

-And the good times.

-Right.

Now, and if this is wrong, I'm going to look like a total twat.

-The thing is, you'd look like a twat even if you're right.

-Yeah.

-Carry on, yeah.

No, because knowing this is so deeply sad. Yeah, carry on.

OK, so I love Smurfs and everything about Smurfs

-and Smurfettes and everything else.

-Yeah.

When they did the premiere of the Smurf film,

they painted a town somewhere -

I think it was Spain, near Marbella, or something like that -

blue, for the premiere of the film.

And then afterwards they said, "We'll paint it back,"

and the residents had had such a lot of tourism,

and they dubbed the mayor Papa Smurf, which he was delighted about!

But they had a referendum to see if they wanted to keep their town blue,

because they thought it was quite cool.

And, cos that's Smurf, because it was Smurf town,

which sounds amazing, cos I love the Smurfs.

You are 100% correct!

-I like it. It's that one on the right.

-Come on!

The only thing that would add 20 points was

-if you knew the name.

-BILL: 20 points? Oh!

Will you not destroy the set?

Yes, you've broken it.

-Just tell me the name of the town.

-Juarez, was it Juarez?

-No.

No, that's in Mexico. We're talking about Spain.

-Jojoba.

-Jerez.

-No, that's...

-Jerez.

-That's...

-Jomin?

-Juan.

All right, it begins with "J". I'll give you that.

Is it Jipswich? SANDI: Is it Jerusalem?

It's not Jerusalem.

Ji... Jiby.

-No, it's called Juzcar.

-ALL: Oh!

SANDI: The next thing I was going to say.

Juzcar, spelt J-U-Z-C-A-R, Juzcar, with an accent on the U.

Was the other town Jaipur?

-Yes! Well done.

-A point!

No, no. No. Sorry. Whoa! I misheard you.

-SANDI: It's Jodhpur.

-Jodhpur is the answer.

I still said it before Sandi, I still said Jodhpur before Sandi!

-You did, you said the wrong thing.

-No, no! I said Jodhpur, I still said Jodhpur.

You're quite right, it's Jodhpur.

So we're going to go back to a picture of Jodhpur. Why is Jodhpur blue?

-SANDI: It's to do with the caste system.

-Yes.

-It's to do with indigo,

indigo being the colour of the Brahmin and...

The Brahmin, which is the highest caste.

It was to distinguish their houses and everybody thought it a good idea.

There is also a pink city. Can you name a pink city?

-Jaipur.

-Yes!

There you go.

And there it is. There we are.

Now, d'you know the capital of Alaska?

-SANDI: Yes, you just said it.

-Exactly. Thank you.

Very good! Juneau is the capital of Alaska.

-J-U-N-E-A-U.

-Ah, Juneau.

But there's something unique about it.

-It rains all the bloody time, I know that.

-Well, it's not accessible by road.

You can only get there by air or water. There is no road to Juneau.

-Sarah Palin can get there by walking on the water.

-Well, yes.

Can you tell me the biggest joke ever to come out of Alaska?

Sarah Palin, who can walk on...

Ohhh! Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

We're not forfeiting you that,

it was so obvious that we weren't even going to forfeit it.

Isn't she lovely?

-If I had forfeited, I would have refudiated.

-We would have refudiated.

Anyway, the point is, there is actually a famous practical joke,

an April fool's joke that came out of Alaska.

It took a lot of preparation and was rather extraordinary.

Here's a photo that might give you a hint.

I mean, it's not going to be easy, but what's in the background there?

-This is a volcano-based practical joke.

-Yes.

And it's one that I read about and it very much impressed me

because if you do a practical joke which is, you know,

clingfilm over the toilet, something simple...

But the person who did this practical joke...

It's a good one. It doesn't work for women necessarily,

cos we tend to notice when we sit down that there's something,

but for men, I tell you, it's a hoot.

There was a volcano, and a gentleman,

-and I can't remember his name, I apologise.

-Don't you worry.

Decided to try and make it seem as if it was erupting, so took loads of tyres...

-You are class.

-..and set fire to it and then everyone came out of their houses and went,

"The volcano's erupting!"

-Yes.

-Cos it was so good.

-You're absolutely right.

He waited three years until there was a clear April 1st.

He took kerosene and smoke bombs and tyres,

and he dropped them down the crater and set fire to it.

But, in 50-foot letters, he did say, "April Fool"

and he warned the federal authority.

He called them up, but he forgot to call the coastguard, who did panic a bit.

But it was, fortunately, all taken in the right spirit.

-And his name was Porky Bickar.

-Porky.

-Porky?

Porky - that was his nickname.

-He was American, so he was called Porky.

-Porky Bickar.

And that is, aside from Sarah Palin, the greatest joke ever to come out of Alaska.

It is a good one. I mean, it is a good one.

I have to say I am very impressed again with your knowledge.

And that's the end of tonight's questions.

Let's see how our journey has panned out.

Well, it's astonishing! Her first ever appearance, on plus 15,

a clear winner - Susan Calman.

And only four inches behind on 11 -

Sandi Toksvig.

Impressively, the digitally endowed,

still in the black, plus four - Bill Bailey.

I'm delighted.

Well, perhaps the best we can say is, bless him, he did try.

Minus eleven - Alan Davies.

That's all from Sandi, Susan, Bill, Alan and me.

Thank you, goodnight and be wonderful to each other. Bye-bye.

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