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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:24 | 0:00:28 | |
Hello, and welcome to QI. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:36 | |
Now, what do vegetarian goatsuckers eat? | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
-Right, I thought... Wow. -Can you show that on television? | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
I think that's taking vaping too far. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
-Is that a goat bagpipe? -It is a goat bagpipe. -Oh. | 0:00:50 | 0:00:53 | |
He's done something odd to his hair. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
Yeah, his hair, that's the problem with that picture! | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
So vegetarian goatsuckers, what do they eat? | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
He must eat the rest of the goat, surely, | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
before it becomes his instrument? | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
It's a vegetarian goatsucker. So... | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
-Not goats! -There's no use saying that... | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
What's a goatsucker? | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
-It's a kind of bird, it's an order of birds called goatsuckers. -Oh. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
And they were named because there was an ancient belief | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
that they lived nocturnally, sucking the milk from the teats of goats, | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
-which sent them blind. -Oh, God! -Oh, I know. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
-It feels like a fun-size owl. -Well... | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
Like, if you're like, "Oh, I want to get an owl, | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
-"but I haven't got the space." -Yeah. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:30 | |
"I'll get one of these." | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
They're called oilbirds, also known as guacharo. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:36 | |
And they are the only vegetarian species of goatsuckers. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
Most goatsuckers eat insects, these oilbirds eat fruit. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
Sorry, you said that like it's like a huge surprise to us. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
-What? -We've only just heard they existed and you went, | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
"These are the only ones that are vegetarians!" | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
Well, I've just found out. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:50 | |
I mean, I literally couldn't care less. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:52 | 0:01:53 | |
And I'm speaking on behalf of everyone in the room when I say, | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
"No, really, these are the only vegetarian ones? | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
"Wow, let's get this down." | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
What are you talking about? You've lost your mind! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:04 | |
They live in caves in the northern part of South America. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
Well, no wonder they're vegetarian, what is there to eat in there? | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
Well, the thing about them is they get so fat | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
from the fruit that they eat, that they become incredibly plump and | 0:02:14 | 0:02:19 | |
there's an annual oil harvest where people take the plump babies in | 0:02:19 | 0:02:23 | |
their thousands, the local people, and they render them for the oil. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
Because apparently it's excellent for fuel and also for cooking. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
-Do they still suck the goats? -Nobody sucks goats, it's... | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
Do you remember when Sandi had a breakdown on television | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
and she was talking about goatsuckers? | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
And then we just gave up. We asked about three times, | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
"What has this goat got to do with anything?" | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
And she just went, "Oh, it's a bird." | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
But then she kept on talking about goats for ages before, | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
-but then we just let it go. -People will look back on it as the tipping point. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
They'll say it was one show too many, | 0:02:49 | 0:02:50 | |
and she explained to everyone, "It's the only vegetarian goatsucker, | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
"but it doesn't suck goats, doesn't even do it." | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
-And she thought it made sense. -Yeah, yeah. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
It was an ancient belief that they sucked the teats of goats | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
for the milk, but they don't. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
Sometimes in the old days they got things wrong. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:05 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
-I'd quite like to live in a cave. -Would you? Why? | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
I don't know, I always like being in a cave. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
Whenever I'm in a cave, I feel quite relaxed. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
This is the weirdest therapy session of all time. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:22 | |
I went into some really big caves once, and it was great in there. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
I'd say whatever Sandi's got is catching. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
And do you know what...? | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
If my calculations are correct, I think the wind's blowing that way. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
I don't think Jason's got much hope. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
OK, I've got some descriptions of perfumes | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
and I want you to guess which celebrity they come from, OK? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:49 | |
"Focused on the topic of decisiveness and persistence. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:53 | |
"Its composition is based on sophisticated shades of spices, | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
"which are blended with citruses over a masculine, elegant heart | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
"and a woody, leathery base." | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
# Smell the roses. # | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
-Is it David Beckham? -It is! -What?! | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:07 | 0:04:09 | |
Well done, two to go. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
-So it's called Beyond Forever. -I love it. -By David Beckham. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
OK, here's the next one. Ready? | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
"The perfect accessory for the confident man determined to | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
"make his mark with passion, perseverance and drive. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
"For those who aspire to create their own empire through personal | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
"achievement, this dynamic scent is both compelling | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
"and leaves a lasting impression. Bold notes..." | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
ROSS'S BUZZER | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
-Ross? -Is it Rory Bremner? | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
Rory could probably do this person, I would imagine. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
-Donald Trump... -Yes! Yes! | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
I'm very, very pleased to actually have a... | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
-BUZZER TRUMPS -..a trump sound. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:59 | |
It's called Empire, by Donald Trump. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
Right, last one. Ready? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
"Base notes are leather, peat fire, highland mud, burned rubber | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
"and white truffle." | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
-# Smell the... # Yes, Nish? -Is it Ross?! | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
Have you not got your own perfume in the...? | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
I've released many scents. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:22 | |
But not one that people would pay for. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
I quite like the idea of a perfume called Noble Gas. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
-LAUGHTER -Oh, yeah. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
OK. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:37 | |
I'm going to carry on with this one. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
"Heart notes are sharp and tempting with cigar, heather, fir and rubber. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:44 | |
"Top notes complete the fragrance with fresh, | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
"spiced notes of bergamot, black pepper, pine and whisky." | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
# Smell it too... # | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
David Dickinson? | 0:05:52 | 0:05:53 | |
I would have to say "creosote" if it was David Dickinson. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:58 | |
-It's a boy. -Is it George Clooney? | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
No, it's the best name for a perfume ever, I think. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
It is Cumming, by Alan Cumming. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:06 | 0:06:09 | |
And there are lots of words called orphaned negatives. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
So these are words that have the opposites, | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
but nobody uses them, they are now obsolete. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
So, what would be the opposite of ineffable? | 0:06:19 | 0:06:23 | |
-Eff... -Effable. -Effable. But nobody ever uses it, | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
-it's a perfectly good word, isn't it? -I've heard people say that. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
-Effable - it's not effable? -"Oh, he's got nice trousers on today. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
"He's totally f-able." | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
-LAUGHTER -It makes sense... | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
I mean, that could be acceptable, in polite company. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
-Have you ever played the spoon game? -What's the spoon game? | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
The spoon game is, you put a spoon in your mouth, a bit like that... | 0:06:45 | 0:06:50 | |
-Yeah. -Put your head down, put your head down, it won't hurt. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
-Put my what? -Your head. -Head down, right. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:56 | |
And you go like that. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:59 | |
-Right. -M-hm? -Then... David, you can get up now. -Thank you. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
And then David will put the spoon in his mouth and I'll put my head down. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:08 | |
-Yeah? -And then a third person behind me will hit me | 0:07:08 | 0:07:11 | |
with incredible force with another spoon. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
-And it really, really hurts. -Yes! | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
So when you come up, you're enraged. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
And then you put the spoon back in your mouth | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
and you really, really try as hard as you can. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
And then they say, "Right..." And then the third person goes... | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
And it took me three goes before I thought, | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
"Hang on a minute, you're not doing that with a spoon in your mouth!" | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
What worried me is how compliant David was. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:36 | |
You had no idea. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
I was just trying to look fun. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
-I've known you a long time, David, it's a new look. -Yeah. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
The important thing, although oestrogen is the primary | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
female sex hormone, of course men have it as well - | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
the same as women have testosterone. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
And if men didn't have oestrogen, what would happen to them? | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
It's the light, it's the light. Everyone is looking at that picture, | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
it's the light. It's not what you think! | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
It's just the light. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
Why would you have swimming trunks made out of silk? | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
That's the most... I think those two women are going, | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
-"If you could just leave us two alone...." -Yeah. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
So, men have to have oestrogen, and if they don't have oestrogen, | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
-what happens to them? Do we know? -They become ladies. -No! | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
Well, they get a male menopause is the thing. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
They start putting on weight and have a diminished libido. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
It's like babies, when you're breast-feeding them, | 0:08:26 | 0:08:28 | |
at the beginning, little baby girls can have periods in the first | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
month, because they've taken your oestrogen. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:34 | |
-I did not know that. -Yeah, that's true... | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
-Is this the first time you've ever had that experience? -What? | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
Not knowing something? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
Our perception of sharks is apparently shaped by footage | 0:08:49 | 0:08:53 | |
in nature documentaries, which tends to be accompanied by ominous music. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:57 | |
So the thing that really scares you in it is ominous music. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:01 | |
So here's one with silence. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
Hello, my friend! | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
"Aaaah." | 0:09:09 | 0:09:10 | |
"Am I going to be on TV?" | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
Da-da-da-da-da! | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
"Aaaaawwwww!" | 0:09:17 | 0:09:22 | |
"Awwwww." | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:25 | 0:09:26 | |
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
Do you know what? There's a whole show for you, Alan, | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
in just doing fish impersonations. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
We had the trout faking her orgasm last series. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
We've done that. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
Different orgasm, same trout. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
Can you do a shark who then has an orgasm? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Can you combine...? | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
"Aaah." | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
"Ah, oooh!" | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
-Mildly surprised. -Yeah. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
Because they don't know they're going to have an orgasm, | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
they haven't learnt about orgasms or experimented with themselves, | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
I imagine. And then when they have an orgasm the first time, | 0:10:16 | 0:10:20 | |
-it must be very alarming. -My worry is, watching you do them, | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
that you haven't seen someone have one before. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
"Ooooh. Ooh, uh-oh!" | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
And then they go... When they do it for the second or the third time, | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
then they're much more, "Ooooooh, aah, aaah!" | 0:10:37 | 0:10:42 | |
"Aaaahhh!" | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Is... Is everything OK at home, Alan? | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
What is the point of a tap in the ocean? | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
That's not a real picture. | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
It isn't a real picture, because in Britain | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
-you'd have two taps for no reason at all. -Yeah. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:08 | |
-OK, I don't understand this. -What?! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
-So you have a hot tap and you have a cold tap, right? -Yes. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Yes, well, how is that? So you're trying to wash your hands, | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
and what happens, you put it under the hot tap, you think, "Argh!" | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
And then you go for the cold tap, and go, "Argh!" | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
-"Oh, hoo, hoo, hoo! Argh!" -Yeah. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:23 | |
How is it the British haven't discovered there's a mixer tap?! | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
-What...? -It's the only excitement we get. -Oh, is that...? | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
Did you find that baffling when you arrived? | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
-I still find it baffling. -Yeah, no. -And I don't understand radiators. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
Why you want to heat an entire house with a small hot metal | 0:11:33 | 0:11:37 | |
-plate in the corner. It doesn't work! -What would you do instead? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
We have forced air in Canada, otherwise you freeze to death. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:44 | |
-What do you have? A forced what? -What? | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
-Forced air, just the same as air-con. You know... -Forced air-con? | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
-Yeah. -Yeah. I've never heard the term, I'm 40... Late forties. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
I genuinely didn't know how old I was then! | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
But I've never... | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
I'm not going to bother sitting here working it out, | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
but, I mean, I'm 50 soon and I've never heard the term "forced air". | 0:12:00 | 0:12:03 | |
Well, not in that context. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
I love the fact, Rhod, that I'm asking you some | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
quite complicated science questions and you don't know how old you are. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:14 | |
-I'm about 49. -You're about 49. Have you just worked it out? | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
Yeah. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:18 | |
I'm so used to saying I'm 50 in a few years. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
I'm so used to saying that, that for a moment it stumped me. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
No, but the thing is, though, it is quite good to know how old you are, | 0:12:24 | 0:12:27 | |
and the producer has just told me in my ear, Rhod, that you're 48! | 0:12:27 | 0:12:31 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
OK, so for this I'm going to ask Aisling, please, to channel | 0:12:41 | 0:12:46 | |
Carol Vorderman for me, if you wouldn't mind. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
-Oh! -So here is a pen. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
-So you've got to hold it up so that everybody can see. -Yes. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
So maybe Alan can help you with that. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
-Well, I think I'm all right. -No, no, I mean hold it up | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
so that the audience can see what you're writing. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
-Oh, I see what you mean. -Yes. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
-AMERICAN ACCENT: -Thank God I got this big strong man with me | 0:13:06 | 0:13:09 | |
to help me carry this heavy old board. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
There's a gentleman wearing a T-shirt that says | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
"Love Is..." Something. Any random number, please. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
-Just a single-digit number. -Eight. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:22 | |
-It wasn't a difficult question. -Eight. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
-Not that many of them. Right, eight. Write that down, please. -OK. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
Just to warn you, you're going to write a three-digit number | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
-and there's going to be quite a lot of numbers. -So, eight. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
Oh, dear God! | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
-Could you just start again? -OK. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
-That was just me having a gentle laugh, Sandi. -I love it. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:49 | |
There is... Let's go right up the back, | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
the first row at the very back. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:52 | |
-The blue shirt at the end. -Two. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
-Two. Number two. -OK. -OK, there we go. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
-Oh, squeaky! -Shut up, Debbie McGee! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:02 | |
-And let's go over here, lady with a patterned top. -Seven. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
-Seven. 827. OK. -Whoa. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
So what I want you to do now is reverse the digits underneath. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:11 | |
Oh, yes. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
Oh, but that's always going to be two in the middle. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
Yeah, that's fine, that's fine, keep going. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
-That's still an eight. -Put it upside down. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
-It's not really complicated, what I'm asking you to do. -Yes, yes, yes. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:24 | |
Could you now subtract the smaller number from the larger? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:28 | |
Right, yeah. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
OK, so we're going to do this now. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
So we take eight from seven, | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
just not possible, | 0:14:37 | 0:14:38 | |
I think we all know that. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
-OK. -Yes, so we're going to do... -Wow! | 0:14:40 | 0:14:44 | |
-I mean, I'm in the arts, you see, so... -Yeah. -It's just... | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
-Nine, nine, nine! -What, stop saying "no" at me in German | 0:14:48 | 0:14:52 | |
and tell me what the answer is. Nine. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
-Yeah, and then it's going to be... -And then this one comes down here... | 0:14:55 | 0:14:59 | |
-It's going to be nine again. -So it's three from nine. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
So I need to have three numbers, so put a zero now, please. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
So you have three numbers. OK. Now reverse those digits, please. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
-Zero... -Always 9. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
..9, 9, and please could you add them together? | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
Oh... | 0:15:12 | 0:15:13 | |
-So 18? -No. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
So, so... | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
-So 9 and zero... Start again. -Oh! | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
-9 and zero is 9. -9. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
-9 and 9 is 8, carry 1. -18. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
-So the answer is? -1089. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
OK, so we've come to 1089. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
-OK, thank you very much. -How exciting. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
Wow, that was painful. Really painful. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
So, what was the number that we had? We had 1089. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
So, Noel, I'm going to pass you a copy | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
of 1,342 QI Facts To Leave You Flabbergasted. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:48 | |
-Noel? -Yes? -I feel really stressed. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
Could you, let's see, 1089, take the tenth word on page 89 | 0:15:52 | 0:15:57 | |
and tell me what it is? | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
-Yeah. -What is it? -French. -French. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
Here is the envelope that I did earlier. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
And there is the word French. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
-APPLAUSE -No! -RUSSELL BRAND: That's magic. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:09 | |
Number four? Let's have a quick look. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
-The horns are the giveaway. -Is it a goat? -Goat? | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
No, much smaller. Smaller than a goat. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
Reindeer. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
Yes, those famous small reindeer. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
-Muntjac. -No, it's called a dik-dik. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
-Oh, yeah, yeah. -A dick pic? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
A dik-dik. Not a dick pic. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
I'd rather get one of those than a dick pic, to be honest. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
Do you know why they're called dik-dik? | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
-Cos they've got two... -So good they named it twice. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
Because they've got two what, darling? | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
Er... | 0:16:46 | 0:16:47 | |
No, it's just I thought... | 0:16:49 | 0:16:50 | |
Sorry, the rest of the class want to hear it now. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:53 | |
-I sort of... I just... -What was it, Nish? | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
Well, I was just saying. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
It seemed very important that you wanted to interrupt Sandi. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
You have to say it. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
I was just... I was just saying that maybe they have two dicks. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
Yeah, no. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:08 | |
It's the sound they make. It's a sort of a warning cry. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
-Dick! Dick! -Yeah. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:14 | |
Dick! Dick! | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
The thing I like about them, they are incredibly efficient with water. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
They have the driest poo | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
and the most concentrated urine of any ungulate. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
-Right. -Wow. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:30 | |
Well, clearly you've never spent a night in Wetherspoon's. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:35 | |
And an extra point for that, cos that's true too. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:38 | |
Now, it's time to wrap our presents in the great QI wrapping race. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:46 | |
OK, so under your respective desks you're going to find paper | 0:17:46 | 0:17:49 | |
and scissors and tape. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
And I would like you to beautifully wrap the things you've got. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
So, Romesh, you need to wrap the game that we've got there for you. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
And if you could find the best way.... | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
Wrap that for me. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
And, Alan, if you could wrap yours. There we are, that's lovely. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:08 | |
And what have you guys got to wrap up? | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
Lovely. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:12 | |
So, what do we reckon? | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
Best way to wrap these things up? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
Are you going to say, "Ready, steady go," or something? | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
Ready, steady, go. Whoever does it best... | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
Wow! Jason, that's... Yeah. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
That looks good. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:37 | |
-I think I've finished, Sandi. -OK, let me see, let me see. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
Alan is the winner, I think, got there first. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
OK. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
So, awkward items, what you need is a life-hack, OK, | 0:18:47 | 0:18:51 | |
to wrap something awkward. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:52 | |
So I've got here a small American football and a single piece | 0:18:52 | 0:18:55 | |
of paper, and what you actually do, and you could have done it with | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
any of your items, is you take your paper and you fold it like this. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:02 | |
And then put some tape down the middle like this. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:07 | |
And then you need to fold the piece of paper like this, and fold it in. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:13 | |
And then put some Sellotape on that, like this. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:18 | |
This is like Blue Peter, isn't it? | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
It's a really brilliant way to wrap an awkward thing. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
It is basically a bag with a gusset that you can make | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
out of a single piece of paper and you make it like that, and you | 0:19:29 | 0:19:33 | |
stick your awkward thing inside and you have a very neatly wrapped gift. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:36 | |
-Oh, my God. -Oh, my God! | 0:19:36 | 0:19:39 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
Here's a collection of odd-sounding O words, | 0:19:43 | 0:19:45 | |
and I'd like you to pick one and use it in a sentence, please. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
A cum-spliff, what the f...? | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
"Oh, ja, a cum-spliff. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
-"Ja, cum-spliff, ja." -He doesn't take long, he doesn't take long at all. -No, no. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:04 | |
"Oppenchops, cum-spliff." | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
-Are you doing Oojah-cum-spliff? -Yeah... -Is that your one? | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
Cum-spliff... | 0:20:10 | 0:20:11 | |
What is your sentence, please, Alan? | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
"Oh, ja, a cum-spliff." | 0:20:13 | 0:20:14 | |
It's a... | 0:20:14 | 0:20:15 | |
It's a Dutchman having a joint in a brothel. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:19 | |
-Cum-spliff? -I don't want it, I don't want it. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
Get it away from me, man. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
You'd be no fun in a brothel, would you? | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
Oh, look at Rom, he doesn't want the cum-spliff, what a prude! | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
Oojah-cum-spliff means all fine and dandy. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:42 | |
Yeah, I bet it does. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:43 | |
-It's a glimpse of the future. -Yeah. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
Him just talking to his chameleon. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:49 | |
Well, if you've got one, it doesn't do anything else, does it? | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
What are you going to do with it? You can't take it for a walk. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
Well, it's like the first ten minutes you have with your chameleon. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
"Barry? Barry! Barry!" | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
He's there! He's just there. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
Oh, shit, it's there. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
He went on a two-tone suit once and nearly had a heart attack. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:09 | |
Do you have this on Strictly? All you want to do is talk about the foxtrot and people are going, | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
-"Rumba, I want to talk rumba." -No, I never want to talk about the foxtrot. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:15 | |
-No, this is good. -What's it like? I was asked to go on it and I... | 0:21:15 | 0:21:18 | |
-I wish you would. -I said... -You could dance with the pipe, chatting. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:21 | |
They said, "Who do you want to...?" I said "I want to do it in character." | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
And they said, "Who do you want to be?" I said, "Abu Hamza." | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
And they said no. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:27 | |
Is anybody good at origami? | 0:21:49 | 0:21:50 | |
-I did that thing, the only thing I've done is... -Oh, yeah, that one. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
-That thing where he goes, pick a number, Josh? Oh... -Three. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:56 | |
-Pick a colour. -Red. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
Hmm, hmm, hmm, he fancies you. That's all I've done. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
How is it so accurate? | 0:22:01 | 0:22:03 | |
But I've got some very good ones for you. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
-So, Josh, you can have... There we have a little jumping frog. -Oh, a frog. -Frog. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
And, Rich, you have a jack rabbit. There's a jack rabbit for you. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:17 | |
And, Susan, you've got an elephant. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:20 | |
Oh. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:21 | |
And, Alan, what's this? | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
It's a blue whale. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:24 | |
-No, this is a blue whale. -Oh, God. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
All these years, still don't recognise it. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
There we are. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
The modern hi-tech racing catamarans have taken this one step further. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
They don't even have a floppy sail any more, | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
they have much more like an aeroplane wing. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
So if you have a look here, the AC72 catamaran, it has a rigid thing, | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
the same size of wing as the Boeing 747. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:57 | |
So using the aeroplane technology and the fact they lift out of water | 0:22:57 | 0:23:00 | |
onto hydrofoils, they have speeds of up to 2.79 times the speed of wind. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:04 | |
So, unbelievably fast. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
ALAN BLOWS RASPBERRY | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
Do you know, people often say to me, | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
"What did Stephen say to you as he left?" | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
And the truth is, he shook his head and went, "You have no idea." | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE | 0:23:22 | 0:23:26 | |
Boats sailing across the wind can go much faster than the wind itself. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
-Indeed there is... -Oh, stop going on about the boat! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
Come here. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:37 | |
They're so awful. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:41 | |
-I just... -Oh, thank God you're here. Right. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
Can you name a female outlaw? | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
-Well, not Jesse James. -No. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
Bonnie out of Bonnie and Clyde. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
Strictly speaking, | 0:23:59 | 0:24:00 | |
there is no such thing as a female outlaw in British law. | 0:24:00 | 0:24:04 | |
Outlawry is when an individual was placed outside | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
the protection of the law. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:08 | |
And females denied protection of the law were called something else, | 0:24:08 | 0:24:11 | |
they were called waived women. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
Isn't that awful? | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
So their right to any protection was said to be waived, | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
so left out or not regarded. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
Can you name a male outlaw of the Wild West? | 0:24:19 | 0:24:23 | |
-Of the Wild West? -Yeah. -Oh. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:24 | |
-Billy the Whatsit? -Billy the Whatsit? | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
-Billy the Kid. -Yeah. -Billy the Kid. -Billy the Kid. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
-Sundance Kid? -You know, What's-Her-Name. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
Butch Cassidy? | 0:24:40 | 0:24:41 | |
It could go on and on. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
-So, again, there were no outlaws as such in the Old West... -Oh, you amaze me. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
..male or female. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
So in the original meaning, an outlaw is merely somebody | 0:24:49 | 0:24:53 | |
-who's been put outside the law, so denied its protection. -Right. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:56 | |
HE SINGS THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN THEME That's a fantastic film, isn't it? | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
So these were, so none of them were outlaws. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
In order to be an outlaw, you had to be set outside... | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
-Are you trying to hum the theme tune to The Magnificent Seven? -Yeah. -Yes. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
That's not the theme tune to The... | 0:25:12 | 0:25:13 | |
Do you know The Magnificent Seven? HE SINGS THEME | 0:25:13 | 0:25:16 | |
-No, that's Bonanza. -Oh, that's Bonanza! | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
-Oh, I liked Bonanza. -I thought Bonanza was... | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
-SHE SINGS NOTES -Bonanza! | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
-GRAYSON PERRY: -Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that was right. I think we need... | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
-What's The High Chaparral? -I demand... | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
-BILL BAILEY: That's The Muppets. -Someone Google it. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:33 | |
Does anybody know the bloody theme tune? | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
HE SINGS TUNE, ALAN JOINS IN | 0:25:36 | 0:25:41 | |
Come on, everyone. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
Anybody join in. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
THEY ALL JOIN IN | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
-BILL BAILEY: -Oh, no, no, it's not that. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
It's not that! | 0:26:03 | 0:26:04 | |
How many hills was Rome built on? | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
-Seven. -Seven. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:14 | |
Six, six, five. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:18 | |
-Five. -Four, three. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
- Eight. - Seven and a half. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:21 | |
-Oh, no, you've done it again! -Yes! Da-da, da-da-da... | 0:26:21 | 0:26:25 | |
It's always been known as seven, but it seems to be a misunderstanding. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:28 | |
In fact, they used to have a big festival called the Septimontium, | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
which means seven hills, and they used to celebrate the whole thing. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
But, actually, when you look at the ancient list of the hills | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
involved that they're celebrating, there are eight. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:40 | |
And Mary Beard, who's a wonderful classicist, says, | 0:26:40 | 0:26:43 | |
"Something has got confused there somewhere along the line." | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
But there's about 75 cities in the world that claim | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
to have been built on seven hills. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
There are two Romes, two Athens. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:52 | |
There's a Seven Hills in Ohio, which is rather aptly named. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
About a quarter of Europe's capital cities claim to be. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
-Bath, where I grew up, that's supposed to be based on Rome. -Right. | 0:26:57 | 0:27:00 | |
-The seven hills, but, you know... -The seven hills. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:02 | |
-..I don't know. -Lisbon's very hilly. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:04 | |
What's that? | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
They have a funicular railway. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
It's like the worst TripAdvisor review. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
No, on the contrary, it's a very good tip about Lisbon. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
It's very hilly, it's what you need to know more than anything else. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:19 | |
"They said it was hilly on TripAdvisor." | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
You need to be warned about it, you're absolutely right. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
-Edinburgh's hilly. -Yeah. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
OK, let's stop doing places that are hilly. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
-Dublin's not very hilly. -No. -No. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:32 | |
OK, moving on from hilly. | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
Holland's completely flat, no hills at all. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
Amsterdam, no, barely an incline. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:39 | |
Nothing at all. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:40 | |
No, there's no crime in Holland or Belgium | 0:27:40 | 0:27:42 | |
-cos you can see people coming from miles off. -Cos you can see everyone. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:46 | |
Do you know, I can imagine you in a home, somehow. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE | 0:27:48 | 0:27:52 | |
Will you come and see me? | 0:27:54 | 0:27:55 | |
Yeah, no. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
I'll bring you some mashed banana. Uh... | 0:27:57 | 0:28:00 | |
-Argentina, that's really hilly. -Shut up! | 0:28:00 | 0:28:03 | |
I'll be in the next bed. | 0:28:04 | 0:28:07 | |
What was that, Alan? | 0:28:07 | 0:28:08 | |
-Vancouver, but it's not a capital, don't count. -Yeah. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:13 | |
-Fiji, is that hilly? -Shut up! | 0:28:13 | 0:28:15 | |
Do you think this is sharp enough to kill somebody? | 0:28:16 | 0:28:19 | |
Yeah, if you have enough intention behind it. | 0:28:19 | 0:28:22 | |
-Yeah. -Oslo. | 0:28:22 | 0:28:23 | |
Oslo is hilly. | 0:28:24 | 0:28:25 | |
-That's true. -They've got a funicular railway, and don't deny it. | 0:28:25 | 0:28:29 | |
That's right. | 0:28:31 | 0:28:32 | |
-OK. -Yeah? | 0:28:32 | 0:28:34 | |
-On the subject of Rome... -Yes. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
-That is hilly, it's famous. -That's really hilly. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:41 | |
You thought it was seven, but it turns out it's eight. | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
Eight, we know that. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:45 | |
-Does this qualify as entertainment? -No. | 0:28:45 | 0:28:49 | |
When I'm in the company of men in a group like this, I feel happy about my life choices. | 0:28:49 | 0:28:52 | |
And so... | 0:28:52 | 0:28:53 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:28:53 | 0:28:56 | |
CHEERING | 0:28:59 | 0:29:03 |