Drag Artist Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience


Drag Artist

Stand-up comic Rhod Gilbert faces the daunting challenge of performing as a woman in front of an audience, after coaching from one of the country's leading drag artists.


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Transcript


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'I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian.

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'People tell me I've got the toughest job in town,

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'but I'm sure I'll find other things far more difficult.

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'I'm ditching my job and trying something completely different.

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'This is my work experience. And this week, I'm a drag artist.'

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CHEERING

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'In a few days' time, I'll be tucking my Clifford in my knickers and becoming support act

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'to world-famous female impersonator Ceri Dupree. I was bricking it.

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'Closest I've come to impersonating a woman

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'is holding me girlfriend's handbag while she makes a call.

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'I head to Femesque, a male to female makeover company.

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'They could make the Gruffalo look like Audrey Hepburn.

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'They stick on some rubber gloves, bend me over

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'and find my inner woman.'

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I have absolutely no idea what to expect from this. Quite nervous.

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'Lynne and her team have been helping men look like women for over 15 years.

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'And in a few hours, I'd be part of their portfolio.'

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I'm here because I've got to be a female impersonator

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and I didn't know where to start

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and I thought, I'll go somewhere where they can make me into a woman,

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maybe try out different...aspects of my character,

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try and bring out the woman in me.

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-Yeah.

-Does that sound like it makes sense?

-Definitely.

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We're going to be doing the whole male to female transformation.

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-Just to be clear, today, I'm not having a sex change?

-No.

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We need to take you through a transformation,

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which is to remove body hair, sort your eyebrows out,

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get you into underwear and breast forms, padded pants,

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to get that nice hourglass look that every girl wishes for.

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-And we need a female name.

-Rachel, Rhod?

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-Why Rachel?

-You know, you just look like a Rachel, you know.

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Rhona. It's got to be Rhona.

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-That's Welsh, innit?

-Does it matter whether it's Welsh or not?

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I'm dressed as a bloody woman, I don't give a shit whether I've got a Welsh name!

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-Well, you could be more attractive as a woman than a guy.

-Huh?!

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I'll look like somebody's attacked Davina McCall with a hammer.

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I'm pretty apprehensive. Probably more out of my comfort zone than I've ever been on this series.

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I just don't know what to do. Being a drag artist, dressing as a woman.

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I'm concerned about the flamboyant performance aspect.

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I'm concerned that I'm going to make a dick of myself.

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Albeit a dick that's tucked neatly between my legs.

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So if you can just remove all your clothes

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down to your undergarments and pop yourself on the bed.

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This is the first part of the...transformation process.

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'I looked like Chewbacca. Lynne and her partner in pain, Clare,

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'would shave, wax, pluck and polish me until I looked more like C3PO.'

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I'm just removing some of the long hair because it makes it more comfortable to be waxed.

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How far up are you going?! Just stop when you get to my anus, yeah?

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-I most definitely will.

-It's too late to go back, isn't it?

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Yes. No going back.

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The waxing will be about four weeks

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before it comes back to the surface of your skin.

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-Oh! You twat!

-LAUGHTER

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Calm down. Come on.

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Argh!

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It hurt!

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-Ow!

-Hold on tight.

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Aye! Ah! Argh!

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Oh, you...bell end!

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-Argh! You...!

-You need to man up, Rhod.

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It's really not the aim of today, is it?

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That's disgusting, that leg. It's horrible!

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Hairy gorilla. This one's slender, smooth, sleek.

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-You can't say it doesn't look like a sausage.

-It's like an athlete's leg.

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'12 black bin bags of body hair later,

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'and a team tending a two-storey hair bonfire in the backyard,

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'I still look like Bungle.'

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Ow! Ow!

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Ow! Ow! Ow!

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My eyebrows look absolutely ridiculous.

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I just look constantly surprised.

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I'm starting to shape up into Sylvester Stallone's mother.

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Can I have sideburns?

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'My skin was already scorched,

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'but it was out of the frying pan and into the fire.'

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I'm going to really come into your personal space now.

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Because I'm going to dress you. OK?

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Right. So, first of all, a bra. So...

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Right, OK. So let's try this one. It's a 36.

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I think it'll be right across the size at the back.

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You can kind of try and help me. Look like you're interested.

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Breast forms. Just feel that.

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-So that's...

-It's very odd feeling your own breasts.

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-SHE LAUGHS

-Especially on the inside.

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That sticks to you...if you wanted.

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-I could take my bra off and still have breasts?

-They'd stay there.

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-I have to see that.

-OK.

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-I have to see myself with tits.

-Right.

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-Where are those breasts?

-Here they are.

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Come on. Tit me up, Scotty.

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'Michelle strategically positioned my adjustable nipples.

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'Being a girl was a right faff. If I was a real woman,

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'I'd get permanent breasts with built-in nipples.'

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And then that bit of your skin...

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-Oh, you weren't joking about the personal space.

-I told you!

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Would this be the size breasts that a drag artist would have?

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Some are much bigger. It depends how comedic you want to look. So, um...

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-I don't know what I want yet. I'm not...

-Yeah.

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I'm not really in that mindset yet.

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I know I'm standing here rubbing my nipples, but I'm not there yet.

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Right, shall we get some knickers on now?

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-I think that's the next stage.

-The next step.

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If you put them on...

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What do I do with my...lunch?

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Um, you kind of tuck them up the back.

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Sort of tuck them in the best you can.

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Are those knickers too big, or are they OK?

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Not sort of bulging out? It won't...?

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OK. Right. If you come over here.

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'Michelle was an expert in genital origami.

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'She folded my man fanny like a demented pastry chef.

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'I couldn't get at it if I tried. It was like Fort Knobs down there.'

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We've probably taken an inch, two inches off your waist.

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Pull those pants up just over there a wee bit. Yeah, just like that.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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THEY LAUGH

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That's much sexier. That makes a big difference.

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-No, no, no! I don't mean...!

-It really does.

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-Once you get the moustache coming out, that really does lift it!

-I hadn't noticed that.

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'Michelle thought I needed a bum transplant. Temporary booty Botox.

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'She was the only person since Burke and Hare to have a drawer full of spare arses.'

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It's definitely improved my arse.

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See, you've got a bit of a bum now.

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God, it's like a...black peach!

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Look how impressive it is! It's just awesome!

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You could run the world from that. Look at it!

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I would wear that. I'd wear it onstage. Just at a normal gig.

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'My new rented bottom was an all-conquering bum colossus.

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'I was Gluteus Maximus, father to a murdered lunchbox.

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'And as they womanified me, I started changing.'

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Have a look in the mirror.

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Feminine shape.

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So, I mean, it's not you, is it?

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It's not your body, looking in the mirror? I mean, shape-wise.

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Look at that. What's that? What's that doing there?

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What's that leg doing? What the hell is that doing?

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What's nice for us is that you're naturally going with the flow.

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I'm doing more than going with the bloody flow.

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Look at me! I'm like Larry Grayson!

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This is the weirdest thing ever.

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-You've gone through quite a bit already to get to this stage.

-I suppose so.

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The actual last bit, I think, with the makeup and the hair,

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and then your final clothes...

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I'm not sure if I want to go through the door.

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We can tell by the way you look that you will look stunning as a woman.

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However, we do not know exactly how you're going to come out.

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'There was no going back. But I wasn't sure I wanted to be a woman at all.'

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This bit of being a woman is pretty bad.

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I haven't dealt with the rest of it. I haven't walked past a building site.

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Oh, God, yeah.

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I haven't failed to get on the board of a...

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FTSE-100 company because of my gender.

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'The team thought I looked like the girl next door. I agreed,

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'provided you live next door to an unlicensed morgue.

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'Time to work on my voice. I normally sound as feminine as a drill bit,

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'so we tried some role-play.'

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-You're just a guy, it's your local and I'm new in town. OK?

-OK.

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-I've just walked in, you've seen me.

-If you just close your eyes.

-Yeah.

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Would you say that, would you? It's too soon for that. Buy me a drink first.

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THEY LAUGH

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-AS A MAN:

-Can I get you a drink, then?

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You don't look like you want to buy me a drink.

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-So, er...

-THEY LAUGH

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-OK.

-Right. You come in again.

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Hi. Would you like a drink?

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It's too aggressive.

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What drink would you like, love?

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THEY LAUGH

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-You sexist pig!

-I wouldn't mind if someone called me love.

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-It's the feminist in me.

-I don't want to offend you.

-I was about to throw myself under a horse.

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So, er...how are you? Can I get you a drink?

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-AS A FEMALE:

-Are you offering to buy me...? Oh, I can't talk like that!

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-Oh, er...

-THEY LAUGH

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-I'd like, um...

-SHE LAUGHS

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Don't laugh in my face! I'm trying to get the voice right!

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I'd like a gin and tonic, please.

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Oh. Gin and tonic for the lady.

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THEY LAUGH

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And I'll have a...Guinness.

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THEY LAUGH

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-Just carry it on now and we'll just talk like this for a little bit.

-OK.

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Can I just get you...? I don't need to talk like a man now. OK.

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-Can I just get you to close your eyes, please?

-Mm-hm.

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'The transformation was almost complete.

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'I didn't fancy myself, but I found the experience erotic.

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'I made a mental note to stop off in Ann Summers for Men.

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'There was definitely a woman inside me struggling to get out.

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'But when she finally emerged, the struggle had clearly taken its toll.

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'I looked like a horse with an admin job.'

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-AS A FEMALE:

-I, um...

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That's the hair and makeup. That's the...

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-AS HIMSELF:

-That's the hair and makeup done.

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-AS A FEMALE:

-That's the hair and makeup done, and, um...

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I think it's time now to, um...

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put me in some outfits and see what flies.

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UPBEAT MUSIC

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I'm really trying.

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I am really bloody throwing everything at this.

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'I was feeling that some repressed aspect of my being had awoken.

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'But to complete my journey, the team had one last task for me, and I wasn't ready for it.'

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So, what's this pub like?

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-Family pub.

-Family pub?

-Yeah.

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'As a drag artist, I'd have to perform in front of the public.

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'The Femesque team knew I'd never be able to do that

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if I couldn't accompany them to their local pub.'

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Is it busy? I don't...

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I'm not comfortable about this at all.

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-It's fine.

-Have a look how many people are in there.

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God! Oh, this is just awful!

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(This is the worst thing I've ever done in my whole life.)

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(Absolutely the worst thing I've ever done in my frigging life.)

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Pub's fairly busy. There's a few stares, a few laughs.

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And I feel about as uncomfortable as I've ever felt in my life.

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'This was too far too soon for me.

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'But if I couldn't handle this, how could I perform in drag? I had to stick it out.

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'Turning me into the admin horse had given us an appetite.

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'I ordered the sausage for old time's sake.'

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-AS A FEMALE:

-A white wine.

-A white wine? Small? Large?

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-Large, please.

-Is Pinot OK?

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-(BLEEP!)..enormous, in fact.

-LAUGHTER

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This morning...I was somebody who had to become a female impersonator

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in a couple of days' time.

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I'd never really dressed as a woman or done anything like this.

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This has gone someway to push me out of my bloody comfort zone.

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You've done as good as you could with the raw materials, so thank you very much.

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-Cheers!

-Cheers, one and all.

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Who's coming clubbing?

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Let's hit the dancefloor!

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I'm going to get me a bloody Aldershot fella.

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I want to be pregnant by dawn.

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'Walking in that pub as one of the girls

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'was one of the weirdest moments of my life, and I've had it off with a Portakabin.

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'Next day, I threw my breasts and nipples in a skip,

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'pressed the eject button on my John Thomas

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'and headed to Milford Haven to watch Ceri Dupree in action.'

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Face it, peasants, one day, this will be on a stamp.

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LAUGHTER

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You'll be licking me, sir. LAUGHTER

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Haw-haw-haw!

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This is going to be terrifying.

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It's really intimidating. In the dressing up and in the character.

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I'm so nervous about completely failing, mucking it up,

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being dreadful at it, when I kind of should be good at it

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because it's almost what I do.

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Yesterday's experience of being made into a woman toughened my nipples.

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I am not ready for this.

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Ceri would be my mentor, but the thought of supporting him made me feel ill.

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I can't sing, I can't dance and I can't do impressions.

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I felt as out of place as Geoffrey from Rainbow at a meeting of Taliban elders.

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# Darling, it's so nice to have you back where you belong. #

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I can't do that. There is not one fibre of my being

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that wants to do that or feels capable of doing that.

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I don't even know what aspects of my personality

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I'm going to have to dredge up to try and do that.

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Hello.

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-Hello. Come in.

-Hello.

-Hello.

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-Nice to meet you. This is James.

-Hi.

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-That was my first experience of seeing a drag artist.

-OK.

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Of all the things I've done in this work experience, this should be the closest to what I do

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but it feels by a million miles the furthest from what I do.

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You think this is the worst one you've ever had to do? Really?

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By a million miles.

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I had no idea how I was going to do what Ceri did,

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but at least I knew my raw sausage meat look was right.

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You don't have to wax at all.

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You've put yourself through unnecessary pain.

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Look at my hands, my knuckles, my arms. Look at my eyebrows. Plucked.

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You don't have to pluck your eyebrows. I cover mine over and paint ones on top.

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It's all done with make-up and costumes and lighting

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and clever fabrics.

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-Everything was a complete waste of time?

-Absolute waste of time.

-I'll show you the pictures.

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-You look like David Bowie there.

-I do look a bit like David Bowie.

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They're better than I thought they were going to be, but you couldn't do an act dressed like this.

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No, I look like somebody from Office Angels.

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You need to approach this from a theatrical point of view, as a performance, a piece of theatre.

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So what character do you want to do?

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-I don't know. I can't do her can I?

-You have to pick somebody to do.

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-You see him in Cher. That sort of thing.

-Where is your, erm, man Cher?

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-Just sort of...

-Has it gone up the back? Is that a trade secret?

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-It is, definitely.

-But I'm going to have to do it.

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-Where am I going to put it?

-You're not doing Cher, are you?

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The obvious one, being Welsh, would be Bassey.

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-Dame Shirley Bassey.

-Do her. You know, Welsh.

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Shirley. Exaggerated. It's the obvious one.

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You say that but I don't know anything about Bassey.

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I can vaguely hear her voice in my head. I've met her.

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But I can't do mannerisms. I'm not an actor. I'm not an imitator.

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You'll have to sit next to me and do as I do and hope for the best.

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We've only got one day.

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'Next day, I met Ceri at a costume shop in Cardiff to dame up

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'because as the song goes, There's Nothing Like A Dame. And I was nothing like one.

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'I could tuck my tiger prawn into my knickers but it wouldn't make me the girl from Tiger Bay.'

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-Shall we crack on?

-OK.

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'Diamonds might be forever but my dress was going to be rented.

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'Ceri took the lead.'

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I'm finding it very difficult to imagine myself in any of them.

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It's all right. It's OK. The shoes are a bit Mini Mouse.

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Try something else on. Next one.

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-It's not great. Turn around.

-Not great?

-No.

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It needs to be more... And gold shoes.

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-You'd never wear gold shoes with red.

-Wouldn't you?

-No, you would not.

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This feels a lot more comfortable than the gold.

0:16:530:16:55

It's not about comfort. It's about, you know, suffering for your art.

0:16:550:16:59

-It's wrong.

-It's wrong?

-Yes.

0:16:590:17:02

-I've lost the socks.

-Then the transformation is complete!

0:17:020:17:05

-It's awful.

-Is it worse than the red?

-Yes.

-Look how waxed those are.

0:17:050:17:08

-Look.

-No thanks.

-Don't you want to feel them? Feel how smooth they are.

0:17:080:17:12

-I really don't want to.

-See what I went through for you? Look at my toes.

-I hate feet.

0:17:120:17:16

-Even my toes have been waxed for you!

-Go and get changed.

0:17:160:17:19

You're wasting time. Shirley Bassey would never wear anything like that. It's wrong.

0:17:190:17:24

I haven't got a clear image of what Shirley Bassey would wear.

0:17:240:17:27

Well, she wouldn't wear that. It's all wrong.

0:17:270:17:30

-That's the best one so far, but not with that boa.

-The best one so far?

0:17:310:17:35

-Lose the boa. It'd too white.

-This is what I've got to put up with!

0:17:350:17:38

-It's the wrong white!

-Turn around.

0:17:380:17:40

-You need help. The wrong white!

-You need help! Hello!

-You need help!

0:17:400:17:44

-I'm not the one wearing a dress!

-There's nothing wrong with me.

0:17:440:17:48

Dress finally chosen,

0:17:490:17:51

it was back to Ceri's headquarters to complete the transformation.

0:17:510:17:55

-Right, OK, so have a seat.

-This is your church.

0:17:550:18:01

-It's my office.

-And these are all you?

-These are all me in shows I've done over the years.

0:18:010:18:06

How did you get into this?

0:18:060:18:08

When I was a kid, I was always interested

0:18:080:18:11

in the flamboyant side of the entertainment business.

0:18:110:18:14

You can hide behind this persona, wear these outrageous costumes,

0:18:140:18:19

become these outrageous people, or women in my case.

0:18:190:18:23

It is an art form when it's done well.

0:18:230:18:25

I've seen it done badly too many times.

0:18:250:18:27

-Have you got room for one more?

-That wasn't a dig.

0:18:270:18:30

If you see a bad singer, it's just a bad singer.

0:18:300:18:33

If you see a bad comic or a bad ventriloquist...

0:18:330:18:36

But when you see a bad drag act or a female impersonator, it's... Urgh!

0:18:360:18:41

It's probably going to be dreadful, embarrassing, never going to live it down.

0:18:410:18:45

It's probably going to be an insult to drag artists all over the world.

0:18:450:18:49

But I've got to do it. I'm going to do it.

0:18:490:18:52

But if I was going to do it, I still needed to accessorise.

0:18:520:18:55

My boa was completely the wrong shade of white.

0:18:550:18:58

Luckily, Ceri knew exactly what he wanted around my neck.

0:18:580:19:01

-That's amazing! What's that made of?

-Cock feathers.

0:19:010:19:04

-There are all different kinds of feather.

-Does it have to be cock feathers?

0:19:070:19:10

No. Those are ostrich feathers. I'm trying to think.

0:19:100:19:13

Cock's the best is it?

0:19:130:19:15

These are... I'm not walking into your gags!

0:19:170:19:19

Come on!

0:19:190:19:21

We were proper pimping my Bassey.

0:19:210:19:24

All we needed now was a wig that said showbiz.

0:19:240:19:27

From a distance, you know.

0:19:270:19:29

I look like a plumber who's knocked on somebody's door

0:19:300:19:32

half an hour earlier than they were expecting them and I've run downstairs.

0:19:320:19:36

-God, I wasn't expecting you until nine!

-Do that then. She does that. She does that, you know.

0:19:360:19:41

AS SHIRLEY BASSEY: Thank you. Can you say, "Thank you, sweethearts."

0:19:410:19:45

Thank you... No!

0:19:470:19:49

-AS SHIRLEY BASSEY: Thank you. AS SHIRLEY BASSEY:

-Thank you.

0:19:490:19:54

-That was like Prince Charles!

-I think I might have to think about Prince Charles.

0:19:540:19:58

-AS PRINCE CHARLES:

-Thank you, sweethearts.

0:19:580:20:01

-You know, it's like... Thank you.

-Thank you.

0:20:010:20:05

-AS SHIRLEY BASSEY: Thank you, sweethearts. AS SHIRLEY BASSEY:

-Thank you, sweethearts.

0:20:050:20:09

-So there's a bit of James Mason in there.

-And don't call me Shirl.

0:20:090:20:13

Don't call me Shirley.

0:20:130:20:15

-Yes.

-That's gone North Wales now.

-Yes, it has.

0:20:150:20:18

I've gone North Wales so we'll have to bring it back down.

0:20:180:20:21

Hello, everyone.

0:20:210:20:23

-I love you.

-I love you.

-I love you all.

-I love You all even more.

0:20:260:20:31

-Prince Charles?

-Yes.

0:20:320:20:35

Mmmm.

0:20:350:20:37

-What the

-BLEEP

-was that?

0:20:370:20:40

My North Walian James Mason was miles off

0:20:400:20:42

but I was determined to nail Dame Shirley Bassey.

0:20:420:20:45

I look like somebody who used to have a successful ice cream van business in the 70s,

0:20:450:20:49

but who's now lost the plot.

0:20:490:20:51

For crying out loud!

0:20:510:20:53

-AS SHIRLEY BASSEY:

-Oh God, I've dropped my bloody earrings.

0:20:530:20:58

You just need to get your mannerisms right.

0:20:580:21:00

I'm going to mirror what you do.

0:21:000:21:03

At the moment, I've just got no idea what I'm doing.

0:21:080:21:11

I look like Russell Brand two years after it's all gone wrong for him.

0:21:130:21:17

-It's coming together. You'll be fine.

-It's not coming together.

0:21:170:21:20

It's not coming together costume wise. But performance wise?

0:21:200:21:23

Your words. You haven't even learnt the words yet.

0:21:280:21:32

-I can see you were a man of distinction.

-Yeah?

-A real big spender.

-Yeah?

0:21:320:21:36

# Hey, big Spender! #

0:21:390:21:42

-What do you want me to say? It needs work.

-It does need work.

-It does.

0:21:570:22:03

It's definitely not perfected.

0:22:050:22:07

Today, I've been focusing on one little thing.

0:22:080:22:12

One little step at a time. But when I think about the whole thing...

0:22:120:22:16

I can not express to you how badly I think it's going to go.

0:22:200:22:25

So without further ado,

0:22:250:22:27

I'm going to go home and prepare for that humiliation.

0:22:270:22:31

For my debut, I'd be part of Ceri's show in Rhydyfelin in the Welsh valleys,

0:22:320:22:35

where men are men, women are men, children are men, babies are men,

0:22:350:22:39

and I had detachable nipples and a power arse.

0:22:390:22:42

I stuck out like a panda in the Playboy Mansion.

0:22:420:22:44

I've been learning my lyrics and Dame Shirley Bassey mannerisms last night.

0:22:440:22:49

But I have to say, I am not remotely reassured.

0:22:490:22:52

I'm just imagining a baying mob and a complete nightmare.

0:22:520:22:56

While Ceri's team transform the valleys into Vegas, I perfected my Bassey.

0:22:570:23:02

I'm starting to get the lyrics, I'm starting to get the rhythm of the song,

0:23:040:23:07

but the big problem is trying to impersonate Dame Shirley Bassey.

0:23:070:23:12

-Morning.

-Hello. Are you all right?

0:23:120:23:15

-This is the engine room.

-Have you learnt all your words?

0:23:150:23:19

I think I've pretty much got the words in my head.

0:23:190:23:22

Once you get the gear on, it will be better.

0:23:220:23:25

But I'm still hoping from last night, it has improved a bit.

0:23:250:23:30

You should have started by now.

0:23:360:23:38

# The minute you walked in the joint

0:23:380:23:40

# I could see you were a man of distinction

0:23:400:23:43

# A real big spender

0:23:430:23:45

# Good looking

0:23:450:23:47

# So refined... #

0:23:470:23:49

It wasn't that good.

0:23:540:23:57

As soon as I try and do Shirley Bassey, I go...

0:23:570:24:00

It's an insult to Shirley Bassey.

0:24:000:24:04

And it's an insult to women in general.

0:24:040:24:07

'I felt like a contestant on Britain's Got Issues.

0:24:070:24:11

'Kerry's face was a picture that told 1,000 words and the last word was definitely off.

0:24:110:24:15

'Luckily, he came up with a plan B.'

0:24:150:24:17

That place you went to the other day, and they made you up to look like somebody who worked in an office.

0:24:170:24:23

-Rachel.

-Rachel, that was it. Couldn't you sort of exaggerate...

0:24:230:24:29

My stand-up isn't a character. It's just an aspect of my personality.

0:24:290:24:32

That Rachel thing is an aspect of my personality.

0:24:320:24:35

I genuinely would find that easier. 'This was it.

0:24:350:24:38

'I had to summon up Rachel, the admin horse.'

0:24:380:24:41

I summon thee, Rachel. Oh, admin horse, thou art inside me, show yourself now.

0:24:430:24:48

Show yourself now, oh, admin horse. Show yourself.

0:24:480:24:51

Oh, hello.

0:24:510:24:53

# Hey, big spender!

0:24:550:24:57

# Hey, big spender!

0:24:580:25:02

# Spend

0:25:020:25:03

# A little time

0:25:030:25:06

# With

0:25:060:25:08

# Me! #

0:25:090:25:12

That's a high one.

0:25:120:25:13

Just think of Rachel from accounts,

0:25:130:25:15

at the office party, very drunk. She's got up,

0:25:150:25:18

she's doing her karaoke, Big Spender.

0:25:180:25:21

That's what I'm going to try for, Rachel from accounts,

0:25:210:25:24

office party, she's got a bit drunk.

0:25:240:25:26

Just, if I take it too far, and you find me outside the back,

0:25:260:25:29

with somebody up against the skip, stop me!

0:25:290:25:31

Rachel would do that, wouldn't she?

0:25:310:25:34

Now that I can just let it happen naturally,

0:25:340:25:38

I feel a little bit more comfortable.

0:25:380:25:41

But everything's relative.

0:25:410:25:44

I'm not in a happy place right now.

0:25:440:25:47

But we were out of time. The doors were opening.

0:25:480:25:50

I just have to stick some vodka in Rachel's nose bag, and pray.

0:25:500:25:54

If I was going to do this as Rachel, I needed her creators.

0:25:540:25:58

Lynn and Michelle kindly raced down with a car full of arses,

0:25:580:26:00

stick on tits and plaster of Paris.

0:26:000:26:03

And they arrived just in time to recreate the admin horse.

0:26:030:26:06

On stage, Ceri wowed his audience.

0:26:060:26:08

Backstage, the girls went at my mange hair with a staple gun.

0:26:080:26:11

They had to drag Rachel out of the accounts department

0:26:110:26:14

and into the spotlight.

0:26:140:26:17

'Mr Rhod Gilbert.'

0:26:180:26:21

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:210:26:23

AUDIENCE WHOOPS

0:26:350:26:37

WILD CHEERING

0:26:390:26:42

-EFFEMINATE AND HUSKY VOICE:

-Ladies and gentlemen, it's my first time.

0:26:420:26:46

So please be gentle with me.

0:26:460:26:49

MUSIC STARTS

0:26:490:26:52

# The minute you walked in the joint

0:26:540:26:58

# I could tell see you were a man of distinction

0:26:580:27:02

# A real big spender

0:27:020:27:05

# Good looking, so refined

0:27:050:27:08

# Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?

0:27:080:27:11

# So let me get right to the point

0:27:110:27:14

# I don't pop my cork for every guy I see

0:27:140:27:18

# Hey, big spender

0:27:200:27:22

# Hey, big spender

0:27:230:27:26

# Hey, big spender

0:27:270:27:29

# Spend a little time with me. #

0:27:310:27:35

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:430:27:45

'Rachel had done it. Together, we'd survived.'

0:27:450:27:49

'Thank God it's over!

0:27:550:27:57

'I have absolutely no interest in ever doing that again.

0:27:570:28:02

'I've never felt so out of my comfort zone, uncomfortable, scared, nervous...

0:28:020:28:07

'It was brief and painful, it's gone.

0:28:070:28:10

'That was a fleeting aspect of my life that was as temporary as those nails.'

0:28:100:28:15

And it's gone.

0:28:150:28:18

I never want to do it again, as long as I live.

0:28:180:28:21

And Rachel, bless her... Rachel got me through that.

0:28:220:28:26

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:29:000:29:04

Stand-up comic Rhod Gilbert is always told he has the toughest job in the world but in this work experience he is facing a challenge he has been dreading - performing in front of a packed audience as a woman. Coached by one of the country's leading drag artists can he convince an expectant crowd that this is a new, and very different, Rhod Gilbert on stage?


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