Episode 7 Room 101 - Extra Storage

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101,

the show where three guests explain what really winds them up,

in the hope that I'll condemn said thing to the grim environs of Room 101.

Our guests' choices have been sorted into categories

and, in each round, only one item can be chosen.

The final decision is mine.

As an example, let's try and decide the worst from this group of three.

I should say they're not all that easy.

So let's meet the guests.

Joining me tonight are presenter Lauren Laverne,

actor Larry Lamb and comedian David O'Doherty.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right then, let's get the first category.

Modern Life.

So let's see what Lauren Laverne doesn't like about modern life.

OK. Look at this, this is what I don't like about modern life.

Oh, look, this is fine. Is this fine?

Is this fine?

No, this isn't fine. I hate fake tan.

Do you really?

I hate fake tan. Look.

That is deeply un-fine and needs to go in Room 101.

But you quite like applying them, liberally.

It has become normal to dye our skin from the top of our head

to our toes, all year round.

We look back into history and we look at people with their...

in the 17th century, with their powdered wigs

and their beauty spot and corsets and we laugh at them.

And, like, right now, we're walking around

looking like a nation of Oompa Loompas.

It's insane and it must end.

I know, it's like seasonal fruit.

When I was a young man, you had to wait for things like sprouts.

I heard a rumour that there was one magazine cover star

who wanted to fake-tan the baby

for the "meeting the baby" shoot, at two weeks old!

Can't be right.

Yeah, I mean, surely the obvious thing is to just dip them, isn't it?

I mean, I have to defend, certainly spray tan, is that it is

probably healthier than actual sun-tanning and it's quicker.

I like to think that what's happened is that man has taken nature

and improved it, you know. Like with, say, Nesquik.

I had a spray tan once in my life. I did it for...

I did it for professional reasons.

I had to do a show where you did five things you've never done before,

so I went for a spray tan, and the woman said to me,

"So how strong do you want to go?"

And I thought, you know, builders.

They sprayed me and I was amazed.

I don't know, people here probably have had spray tans,

I thought it stayed, but it was... I got out of bed the next morning,

my fitted sheet looked like the Turin Shroud.

The flamingos in Dublin Zoo were... They weren't pink any more,

they were losing their pinkness,

so they had to add some pink dye to the food they were giving them.

So maybe that's it -

maybe people who work as air hostesses just drink a lot of Fanta.

I went in one of these standy-up ones, where you...

-The stand and tan.

-No, no, this was like bars on the wall and you stand in there,

they play Europop and you dance naked.

It has its pluses.

I'd never been before, and they give you two little golden cones

to put in your eyes so your eyes don't burn out.

So I wedged those in, so I got these two pointy bits

and I went in there, I said, "I'll have 18 minutes."

That was the max you could have.

I got very burnt.

Particularly in one particular area where...

Not normally exposed to the sun at all.

And when I went back, I said,

"I couldn't have three of those gold cones, could I?"

OK, so let's see what Larry Lamb doesn't like about modern life.

High fives.

Ah!

-Eh?

-I'm with you.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

I mean, talk about a fad.

It drives me crazy, everybody's doing it, you just

sort of expect the Queen, the Pope, everybody to be high-fiving.

You've got President Obama. It seems to be the way that people,

somehow or other, have accepted they've got to sort of show that

they're kind of hip to what's going on when they greet each other.

-Aren't they a lovely, warm greeting?

-No.

It just makes me feel really angry when they do it.

I don't want to do it, no.

What do you do when people do it to you? Do you just go, "Argh, no!"?

-Yeah, no, I don't...

-Do you join in? If someone goes, "Hey, Larry," what do you do?

No. "How are you doing?"

-Oh, you've directly challenged their...

-Absolute direct challenge.

..greeting.

I met Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I'd never heard of a low five,

and he went...

And I sort of shook hands with him sideways.

It was really pathetic. He gave me a withering look.

But it's a very American thing, isn't it?

It is. Well, I'm not anti...

And I kind of, they're more expressive, because I think

the standard British greeting, instead of the high five, is...

There are worse things that have come from America.

I mean, you know, the drive-by shooting, for example.

This clip illustrates that if you are going to high-five someone,

make sure that they're kind of ready for it,

and a white stick is something to look out for.

We'll see. We'll see where it goes. I am pumped.

As you should be.

Well, I'm giving you a high five.

Congratulations, there it is.

Anyway, let's have a look at David's choice in the Modern Life category.

TENSE MUSIC

Frank, this is a big one,

the thing I hate more than possibly anything else...

..is fake tension in light entertainment television programmes.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

From my memory, it would have started...

I remember Eurovisions in the 1980s,

it was possibly an accident originally that the man reading out

the results for the Swiss jury just went, "And 12 points goes to...

"..Malta."

And all of Europe went, "Ooh!"

Well, I seem to... It's been around longer than that.

Doesn't the King use it in The King's Speech?

Oh, yeah.

I think when he said, "We are currently at war with..."

And the whole nation's going, "Who?! Who are we at war with?"

I think I hate it because I am so easily emotionally manipulated,

so I'm, "Oh, really? Who's going to be knocked out of Celebrity Fly Fishing this week?"

I think the worst bit is when they really try to tease them.

They'll lead them one way and then the other,

so you get the look into the eye and they say, "I'm sorry, it's bad news.

"You're going to have to spend a bit longer with me. Ha-ha!

"At least long enough for me to tell you that you're going home.

"When you get home, pack your suitcase and come right back here!

"Only then will I finally admit that I'm truly sorry that

"I didn't tell you straightaway

"that you're in the next round!"

It's... I mean, it's cruel.

But I love it.

I think the brilliant thing about that tension moment,

that dramatic pause,

is that you can make almost anything sound really, really exciting.

There was one more ingredient to this battle, our secret ingredient,

the theme on which our chefs will offer their succulent variations.

Today's secret ingredient is...

..potatoes!

But there's no real drama on television,

so they turn reality television into drama. That's the problem, you know.

That's a bitter actor speaking there, Larry.

Me and Larry agree. Put it there!

Anyway, I now come to my choice, and in the Modern Life category,

what I'm going to put in Room 101 is...

TENSE MUSIC

HE WHISTLES

I'll tell you after the break.

Sorry... Oh, BBC.

OK, so I am going to put fake tans into Room 101.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, let's move on to the next category.

Going Out. What does Larry Lamb not like about going out?

Confusing loo signs.

The bane of people my age, I'm sure, you know.

Bad enough to be constantly in a rush needing to get there,

but going in the wrong one almost, you know, ready to explode,

is just terribly embarrassing

and it seems to happen more and more and more.

-Yeah.

-Sometimes, it's just because you catch things at the wrong angle

and you're so anxious to get in there, and the door's half-open, half-closed, and you just see it.

-But...

-Just save it for the jury, will you?

It even got worse for me on the internal signs on one of these new-fangled ones

on a big sort of super-train in England, funnily enough,

one of these revolving ones.

And I got myself all safely stowed and ready settled...

-You didn't lock.

-..everything ready, and pressed the button that closes

and it was the wrong one, and I'm sitting there

and this person is standing in front of the door just staring at me,

and I'm staring at him, saying, "Hello, I'm Archie Mitchell.

"How you doing?" I mean, unreal.

It's a great reveal, though.

-It's a great reveal, and that's the kind of...

-Larry Lamb!

It's the terror of it. Gradually, you think, "It's opening, it's opening, it's opening!"

-I know, but if ever they bring back Stars In Their Eyes...

-Yeah!

In case you're not familiar with these signs,

here's a few toilet signs.

This one, I think, is very clever, this first one.

Don't you think that's good, Larry? That's inventive.

It's good. It's good. I get that.

-So you're OK with that one?

-I'm all right with that one.

This one, I think's a bit trickier.

People from the 18th century and in flying wheelchairs.

Is that disabled?

I thought it was just someone who had one of those Space Hopper things.

What about this one? This is...

See, that, to me, looks like a giant with a quiff

creeping up on a man at a urinal.

Can you see that?

Just about to bite him on the bottom.

So I've got to say, Larry, that I...

If that's his willy, what on earth is that thing on the other side?!

That's his bottom.

Good Lord! Unbelievable.

I've only ever been in a ladies toilet once and that was...

We were on a very, very good conga.

The sort of conga you have to get the bus back to where you began from.

The problem is that if you do get confused about toilets,

it can go very, very wrong.

SHE SPEAKS IN DUTCH

Oh. Oh.

Erm...

AUDIENCE GROANS

This isn't a urinal, is it?

SHE LAUGHS

I think it is, man.

Ah, Christ.

Whoa.

Could happen to anyone.

OK. What doesn't David like about going out?

I have a big problem with ostentatious dressers

who don't like people looking at them.

This comes from an incident in Spar, the popular shop, recently.

I'm doing pretty well, and there was a man, a very fashionable man

in his 20s with the sort of little trousers and little shoes,

and he had a trenchcoat on and a sort of a little moustachey thing.

And then round his neck, he had a stoat, and then

an old lady kind of lady killer, one with the arms and the head, like...

..who was staring at the other people in...

Can I say, I'm not totally sure they have arms.

With his... Well, of course they have arms.

What are they, just a tube? They roll around, stoats.

Are they not legs?

Legs are arms.

Oh, I see what this is,

this is the argument as to whether dogs have arms and legs.

-Yes.

-Or whether they have four legs in the first place.

-They have four legs, surely.

Not in Ireland. In Ireland, we're very clear about this.

You see a table - there are the arms, there are the legs.

The man with the stoat, he looked over at me as if to say,

"I'm just trying to live my life, leave me alone."

And I think what annoyed me about it was that when I was growing up,

people who dressed in the most outlandish costumes were goths,

you know, or were punks, and they were trying to shock the world.

And they were saying, "Look at me, I don't care!" You know? "Ha-ha!

"That's right, I've put an egg in my hair."

And this was someone...

I remember that fashion.

This was someone from my crappy generation,

who just couldn't make up their mind whether it was meant to be

a cool thing they wanted people to look at, or just like,

"Don't look... Look at me! Don't look... Look at me! Don't look at me."

That was the annoying thing.

He might have been being savaged.

OK, what doesn't Lauren Laverne like about going out?

Look at that, Frank. Square plates.

Square plates, because when a square plate arrives,

what it immediately tells you is that you're in a restaurant

that is not quite as good a restaurant as it thinks it is.

I mean, don't get me wrong, everything doesn't have to be fancy,

but I think, actually, that's my point.

It's the stuff in the middle.

I like a really properly fancy, really lovely restaurant,

and I love, like, a bag of chips on the beach, you can't go past that.

I think those two extremes are fantastic.

But this in the middle, with the square plates,

and the food in little piles.

Why, why is this?

I don't know. I think there's a lot of KFC regulars here going...

"What is that?"

But on a practical level, have you ever chased peas

with a knife and fork round a circular plate?

I've been lapped by a cherry tomato.

I think the theory is,

it's supposed to represent like a frame for a work of art.

Yeah, that's the problem, it's food going into art, isn't it?

Food going into art makes fart, though, Larry.

That's not something anybody wants to think about when they're having their dinner.

It also says to me,

"After this meal, you are still going to be quite hungry."

I went to quite a posh restaurant, right, and they gave me - I'm not kidding you -

gave me a chopping board with the ingredients for a sandwich on it,

but they just hadn't made you the flippin' sandwich.

And it was like, "Hang on, I'm giving you 12 quid for this.

"Can you not take it back and make us a sandwich? I have to make my own?"

Are you sure you weren't working there at the time?

OK, well, I think that looks nice, personally,

but you've made your point.

OK, well, as I come to look at these things,

I like the sort of non-uniformity of the square plate,

I like that it's challenging the norm.

I think that David staring is just a little bit taking the mickey,

and I can understand those people getting upset.

Larry, you've won me over.

I didn't realise it, I thought they were just imagination,

but they can be traumatic, I realise that now.

So I am going to put misleading loo signs into Room 101.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For the old folks.

Let's take a look at the next category.

Seems quite broad. What kind of people wind up David?

People who phone you and ask you to do surveys, er...

over the phone.

The reason I say this is because I used to do this job.

The last job I had was ringing people

and asking them to rate their clingfilm out of ten.

Really, what information are you possibly going to get from them?

And you don't care, as the person doing it,

cos you're being paid 3.60 an hour to do it,

so you just write down whatever you fancy

and they just say whatever's going to get you

off the phone as quickly as possible.

Also, what will you learn about clingfilm from this conversation?

I'll tell you what information we learn, it was always the same.

"How would you rate your clingfilm out of ten?"

"I'd give it five out of ten." "Why are you dropping the five marks?"

"Cos it's difficult to find the start."

If anyone had done proper research,

would there be any green or yellow sweets at all?

Do you know anyone, if you offer them a selection of sweets,

and there's green and yellow, who'll go, "I love the yellows!"

Never, ever. If they'd been done... Am I right about this?

-AUDIENCE: Yeah.

-If there'd been research,

there would be no green and yellow sweets, just black, red,

maybe orange for that kind of wacky outsider character.

I like the green ones!

The yellow ones, correct, they're made of wee.

What about, while we're on the sweet subject,

what about the sort of liquorice cylinder in liquorice allsorts?

Yeah!

-Now, why do they exi...? You don't like those?

-Lovely!

Well, for starters, it's called "liquor-iss".

-Is it?!

-I'd say "liquor-iss".

-Not in England, we don't.

-Really?

We pronounce the SS... We pronounce the C-E, "Sh".

You say "liquor-iss"?

-I've never heard that before.

-Oh, well, I'll take "not-ish" in the future.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

OK. What kind of people wind up Larry Lamb?

Hold on a minute.

What is it, Larry?

People who don't put things back in the right place.

Ah!

-Like a remote.

-Yes.

Like a phone, that's very handy

until somebody's had it in the lavatory and left it in there

and you're running round, trying to find it,

or the remote control's buried under a sofa,

and nobody ever, ever thinks to put it back.

That drives me bonkers.

Are you saying, Larry, that people in your house...

use the phone whilst on the lavatory?

Oh, ho, ho. Oh, absolutely.

I don't mind if they use the phone whilst they're on the lavatory,

but don't leave it because something distracts you, go off and leave it in there.

-Cos it's probably...

-Can I say, I mind.

-OK, and the remote?

-And the remote controls...

-That is tricky.

-Endless, endless.

Or the battery - somehow or other, somebody's flipped the thing off the back

and one of the batteries has gone missing,

or they've borrowed the battery for something else

and so you've two remote controls and one set of batteries.

So you've got to take the batteries out to put in that one

to turn it on and take them back so you can tune it in.

I mean, we've had this in my house, I have to tell you.

Absolute madness!

I can tell this is the voice of experience.

You said, "What do you want to put in 101?" That's one of the things!

Right. Well, let's hope it ends up in 101 and not next door in 102.

Speaking of the bathroom, how are you with toilet rolls?

The people who will finish the toilet roll, right...

..and leave that cardboard core there and go away!

Why don't they automatically just take a roll and put it back on?

-I hate that.

-Me, too!

I want a toilet roll to be all soft and cuddly.

I don't want to see its stark inner workings.

It's like when you go to the theatre -

-I don't want to see the wall at the back.

-It's the principle of it -

why, when you've finished it, don't you replace it?

Oh, man. It takes all the glamour out of going to the toilet.

Absolutely!

-Absolutely. No joy.

-I'm with you.

Especially if you don't notice and then it's like,

"CAN YOU GET ME A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER?" All of that going on.

I've used the cardboard before now.

-Absolutely.

-I have!

-The best thing to do is...

It goes to a natural point if you unravel.

GROANING

Or...you can dip it in water and soften it up.

If you can reach the sink.

If I could reach the sink, I'd just use my hands and then rinse.

GROANING

I'm talking about in an emergency!

Absolutely!

This is the domestic Bear Grylls, that's what's going on.

OK, what kind of people don't Lauren Laverne like?

Hm.

I don't like music snobs.

-Really?

-Yeah, really.

-And you a 6Music person, as well.

Well, you know, I like your kind of more alternative,

maybe a little bit odder, more quirky music,

but I think music snobbery is a lose-lose situation.

I've never met actually any musician who is a music snob.

Really?

They're people who think they know better than everyone,

I suppose like all other snobs,

but actually they've usually got rubbish taste.

They take the joy out of something that's meant to be brilliant.

I got accused of being a music snob recently.

A friend of mine said she was going to see Take That,

and I said I wouldn't go and see Take That

if they were playing in my kitchen.

And not only that, but I live in an open-plan flat.

I wouldn't need to actually go through a door.

That's because I don't like Take That.

-Why does that make me a bad person?

-Not liking Take That doesn't make you a bad person.

It's, you know, you don't have to like any kind of music...

It's also attached to this kind of idea that really annoys me

that, you know, people get angry about music that they don't like.

Imagine that it's something else, say ice cream.

You don't like pistachio ice cream -

you don't rage about the fact that it exists!

"Pistachio ice cream is an insult to strawberry ice cream!

"That's the one I like! Pistachio should be un-invented!"

You don't make that argument, why would you do this?

Music is like ice cream -

people are trying to make a nice thing that people will like.

If you don't like it, fine. Go and have another flavour.

Ooh, I don't know. I mean, it's not just music.

In comedy, David, you get snobbery as well.

Certain types of comics are seen as fashionable and others not,

and certain types of jokes.

For example, if I walk down the street

and I see a really attractive woman, right?

I always like to go...

HONK! HONK!

Some people condemn that as juvenile.

When sampling first came out - you know, when people used to sample bits of other people's records -

there was a lot of snobbery about that.

People would say, "That is outrageous!"

And now we absolutely accept it.

I think that that was the earliest form of recycling.

When we came up with the theme music for this show, I said,

"Well, why pay someone to do a new one?

"Why don't we just make do and do a bit of DIY?"

This is what I wanted the theme for this show to be like. Room 1-0...

MUSIC: "The One Show" Theme

Room 1-0...

# One... #

Room 1-0...

# One... #

I think it would've been, er...

APPLAUSE

But the snobbery can go the other way. I went to see Legally Blonde.

You know the musical, Legally Blonde?

And on the way in, a young woman came up to me and said,

"I don't think this is for you."

Can you believe that? And I... It brought out the worst in me.

I said, "I don't think it's JUST for idiots."

APPLAUSE

OK, well, it's.. This is...

Cos I agree...

I agree that, er, market researchers,

if they don't use the information, are just wrong.

I think that musical snobbery can be a terrible sort of straitjacket.

But I have to say, when we got to the toilet rolls, Larry...

It's worked out here that it's the toilet theme that wins in this show.

And I am going to put...

people who don't put things back in the right place into Room 101.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's take a look at the next category.

This is the Wildcard round, because sometimes

we feel we constrain you too much in your hatred and dislikes.

So now there's no restraints, no category,

you can choose whatever you like.

And we're going to start with Larry.

What is Larry's wildcard?

I suppose it's going back to where we were with David,

it's people who actually go out in public in fancy dress.

-Ah.

-It's that thing of... God, it's my old Captain Hook hat.

I suppose it's when you're an actor

and you get to dress up all the time, it's...

But look, you can't resist it, Larry!

-I know, exactly.

-Oh, that's good.

It's silly to leave it all in the box.

Ooh, you've gone a bit camp in that hat.

Oh, I do! That's the thing. It depends.

You see, you get... Ooh, look at this one here!

Ooh! But, no...

I can see you're a man who's utterly governed by headgear.

Completely, sweetheart!

But no, the thing is, just as David was saying,

it's people wandering around in fancy dress.

I'll tell you what I like, I'm not very keen on the hire shop.

I think if you go to a fancy dress party or wear fancy dress,

it should be stuff you just find at home.

That seems to be the craic.

Like, I had this... I thought this was a very clever idea,

to go to a fancy dress party dressed as my girlfriend, right?

At least that's what I told her when she came home early.

Larry, now, I'm not taking the mick now,

but are you not tempted to go to fancy dress things as a lamb?

Ooh, ooh, if only you knew how far off the beam you are there.

We've got a clip from a local news story about a man who did go to

a fancy dress party as Larry the Lamb and things went horribly wrong.

About a month ago, Peter Buck was out celebrating

on a fancy dress bus party for a birthday.

But when a bit of his Larry the Lamb costume came loose,

he and some friends decided to burn it off with a lighter.

In moments, his entire outfit was alight.

It was here outside the Drunken Duck where Pete's costume burst into flames.

In a panic, he ran out into the street.

A passing car had to swerve to avoid hitting him.

Now, fortunately for Pete, one of the friends out with him

that night was firefighter Paul Bisson,

who, as it happens, was dressed as Jesus Christ on the night.

He chased after Pete, telling him to stop, drop and roll,

but eventually had to bear-hug him to help put out the flames.

I should say, for those of you at home who are worried,

that he had a few burns on his arms, but he's perfectly all right now.

Especially with a bit of mint sauce.

OK, let's have a look what is Lauren's wild card.

Flags.

You don't like flags?

Nothing good has ever come from a flag.

Wars, nationalism, racism,

Geri Halliwell at the BRITs that time.

Nothing good has ever come out of a flag.

And linesmen.

Well, I don't know, I mean...

It would be tough for a linesman if you put flags in Room 101.

They'd have to run up and down going...

Well, all right, maybe there's practical problems for it,

but I mean, I think they're divisive, I think they're bad for humankind.

Broadly, I'm not saying they weren't necessary in the past,

but I think now, it's time to move on

and, you know, we're all on one little quite vulnerable planet,

we all need to work together as a people.

I mean, I'd maybe allow, like, a plain white flag with the name

of each country written across, in a pre-globally agreed font.

In regulation font size.

You wouldn't see anybody waving that and starting a war with it.

Nobody would be making them into beach towels.

I've got some examples of what are brilliant flags.

This is the Sicilian flag.

You know, I think I saw that act in cabaret.

It's Sicily, so it's probably just the Mafia cut off her legs.

Well, they actually added a leg.

Or as you'd say in Ireland, they added an arm.

This was the flag for Benin, in Africa.

Ooh! You see, this is what I'm talking about.

-This is exactly it.

-I mean, that's just looking for trouble.

Also, it looks like the man on the right was trying to tippy-toe past.

He wasn't even looking for trouble. "Oh, he hasn't seen me...

"Ow!"

OK, I'm taking that on board.

What is David's wildcard?

It's not Alex from the One Show?

It is being 35 years old.

I've recently become 35

and I realise age ain't nothing but a number,

but it is also a very accurate barometer of how old you are.

And 35 is the first truly disappointing age.

You just never hear of 35-year-olds doing anything

particularly innovative or interesting.

You're not young any more, and anyway,

if you look at the news, it's, "This seven-year-old

"has invented the internet on crisps," or whatever it is.

But 35-year-olds, it's always much darker,

it's always - "The suspect,

"35, exposed himself to the mourners in the pet cemetery,"

or whatever it happens to be.

But I should say that Van Gogh painted the Sunflowers

when he was 35.

And look how he turned out!

Well, I don't know about... I don't have terrible sympathy,

as I am about 20 years older.

-I know, but...

-No, you don't know.

-I realise...

-You think you know.

I'll tell you what I've started to get just lately, Larry -

and see if we're brothers in this - I've started to find

-that my throat is getting slightly affected by breeze.

-By breeze?

-Yeah.

-You start feeling cold in places you never felt cold.

-No, I'm on about it actually moves, my throat.

-Oh, does it?

-I occasionally wear a dicky bow as a wind break.

-Do you?

I would say 30 is probably the cut-off point.

I think you're being a bit optimistic, 35.

I always thought I was fairly washed-up...

I went to a Club 18-30 do. I got completely mixed up,

I went as Alfred Lord Tennyson.

For the first time, I had a creaky knee and I went to the doctor,

and rather than prescribing a cure or anything, he just went,

"You're 35!"

But that is what happens.

I did my back in. I was standing backstage

and a young comedian came up and said, "Are you all right?"

I said, "No, my back's killing me."

He said, "What happened?" I suddenly realised that when you get older,

injuries don't come with an anecdote any more.

They used to be, "I fell off a horse," or "I was climbing a wall drunk."

Now, "I woke up one morning and it just hurt."

-"What happened?" "It was erosion."

-Exactly!

You used to work in marketing.

18 to 35 is, that's... Isn't that a classic category?

Well, the categories that we worked on, in my tele-marketing era,

was the zero to 18, and they're... They like brightly coloured things.

And then there's 18 to 34,

and they're the key demographic, because they're the people

who feel emotion and fall in love and take risks.

And then there's just 35 to death.

We all like Michael Buble and driving gloves.

OK. Well, this is... It's an interesting one, this.

I can't go with fancy dress, because I love dressing up so much.

It's a joyous thing,

and I love to see it at the Test Match and all that.

And David has got a terrible sadness about him in this,

-but I'm going to put flags into Room 101.

-Hooray!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And that brings us to the end of the show,

and my most persuasive guest tonight was Lauren, so well done, Lauren.

You are the winner.

And as winner, you get one free,

unchallenged choice that goes straight into Room 101.

-Ooh, adult animals.

-OK! I know what you mean.

-Baby animals are lovely.

-Yeah.

-Adult animals, I can...

Yeah, exactly.

I like animals, but you need a cut-off point.

OK, adult animals will go into Room 101.

Well, thanks very much to Lauren, to David and to Larry, and thank YOU.

And goodnight.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd