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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:00:21 | 0:00:26 | |
Hello, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:35 | |
The show where three guests compete to get their pet hates | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
exiled for ever to the dark vault that is Room 101. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:42 | |
They'll have to argue their case well | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
because, in each round, only one item can be chosen. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
The final decision is mine. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
Let's meet this week's guests. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:49 | |
Joining me tonight are remarkable man, Nigel Havers, | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
remarkable nan, Catherine Tate, | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
and remarkable tan, Rylan Clark-Neal. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:56 | 0:00:58 | |
I'll take it. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:01 | |
I'll take that. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
BELL DINGS | 0:01:04 | 0:01:05 | |
Let's get ready to grumble. LAUGHTER | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
And let's see what's winding up Catherine. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
Yes. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
Minimiser bras. Now, look, I've got quite big boobs, | 0:01:17 | 0:01:21 | |
and it's very difficult to find bras that are... | 0:01:21 | 0:01:25 | |
sort of, nice and sexy looking, when they're holding up boulders. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:30 | |
And when the Wonderbra sensation came out, | 0:01:31 | 0:01:35 | |
the ladies with the opposite problem got this great invention, | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
Wonderbra, because Wonderbras get your boobs, | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
push them up - like this - | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
and, aptly named, | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
because I tried one on... | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
I did wonder. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
I wondered where my face had gone, for a start. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
Now, someone's had the temerity... | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
..to bring out a bra that says to ladies with big boobs, | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
"Not only have you got to diminish them, | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
"we're going to make them... this piece of underwear | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
"so unattractive... | 0:02:08 | 0:02:09 | |
"you're very unlikely to find a partner, anyway. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
"And if you do, it'd be much better if you kept your anorak on." | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
And the way they do it, | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
I don't think they've quite worked it through, | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
is they've obviously gone, | 0:02:20 | 0:02:21 | |
"Look, what we'll do is... get your boobs, | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
"shove them under your arms." | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
-And that's how they work. -APPLAUSE | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
So although one could argue | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
you get a slightly flatter profile, | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
makes it very difficult to wave! | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
Cos your boobs are, like, under there! | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
Like, "Hi, how are you?" | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
I'll be honest with you now. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
Did you not know they existed? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
I did not know they existed. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:51 | |
So I've researched the minimiser bra. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
I have some bullet points, but, um... | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
I dare say it'll flatten those out. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
"A minimiser bra does not reduce the size of your breasts - | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
"it minimises your breast projection. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
"Instead of pointed breasts, | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
"the minimiser bra changes the breast shape to a more firmly held mound." | 0:03:08 | 0:03:13 | |
Yes - under your arms! | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
Yes. Isn't that what President Kennedy was shot from? | 0:03:16 | 0:03:20 | |
"The cup shape is designed with a wider diameter | 0:03:23 | 0:03:27 | |
"and a shorter projection, | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
"your malleable breast tissue is flattened | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
"and moved more under your arms, | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
"towards your centre cleavage, | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
"up your chest and down towards your waist." | 0:03:36 | 0:03:40 | |
It's, sort of, the... | 0:03:40 | 0:03:41 | |
It's the socialist ideal of the redistribution of assets. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
Yes. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
-We have a picture of you on the town, just... -Don't. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:52 | |
-..just to illustrate. -What do you mean? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
-You what? -Looking glamorous. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
WOLF WHISTLES FROM CROWD | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
-Take it off! -You look great. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
Take it off! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
-Take it down! -OK, take it down. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
I think you look... I think it looks fantastic. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
I think it looks fantastic. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
This is the thing - most men think that women should dress like that... | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
going to Sainsbury's. Don't you? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:17 | |
-Yes. -If that photograph of me is a good thing, | 0:04:18 | 0:04:22 | |
cos I was definitely not wearing in minimiser bra in that shot. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
-You weren't. -No, I wasn't. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
But, the worrying thing was, I wasn't wearing a Wonderbra. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
What were you wearing? | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
There was just two very short men stood underneath me, | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
holding them up, that they've cropped out of the top. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
I'm not condemning anyone who wears a minimiser - | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
I wear minimiser pants. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
I... | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
I don't. I don't, actually. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
I do. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:53 | |
Do you remember, about a year ago, there was this mad phase of the...? | 0:04:56 | 0:05:00 | |
It was called the "pen boob challenge," on the internet. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
Is it, you have to put your boob up | 0:05:04 | 0:05:06 | |
and, if you can hold...? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
-A pen. -Yeah, a pen or a pencil under it. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
I'll give you a fairly... | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
-There's... -What?! | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
That's quite a daring photo for you to put up there. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
-It is. -Another one of mine. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
This woman just took it a tad further. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:26 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
Another one of yours? | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
It's like a Dyson Halloween campaign. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
Anyway... | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
what's winding up Nigel? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
CHEERING AND JEERING | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:56 | 0:06:00 | |
Ooh! | 0:06:00 | 0:06:01 | |
It's, of course, nothing personal. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
-Oh, no(!) -No. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
He represents a lot of politicians | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
who pretend to be one thing... | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
And he's the worst offender at this, in my book... | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
He pretends to be one thing, when, in fact, | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
he's something completely different. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
He says he's a Labour...you know... | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
but, in fact, he's a Marxist. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
-We know that. -A what? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:21 | |
A Marxist. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
I'll explain what it is after the show. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
For instance, he doesn't agree with sugar, | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
but he makes jam. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
How's it going so far? | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
He said, "I'm going to be new, I'm going to have... | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
"I'm going to lead the party, it's the end of... | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
"of politics as we know it. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
"It'll be kind politics." | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
Kind politics? Have you seen the party he runs? | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
-It's in ruins at the moment... -Well, I think it's... | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
..and I'm a Labour supporter, in many ways. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
-Seriously. -Sorry? | 0:06:53 | 0:06:54 | |
BELL DINGS | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
-Are you all right? -Don't send me a curveball, Nigel. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
However many people say, "You're not fit to run this party," | 0:07:05 | 0:07:09 | |
he's not going to move aside, | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
which I think is a little selfish of him. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
Well, he does keep getting voted in | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
by an enormous majority of the membership. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
Can I just say, my mum said I would never end up on Newsnight | 0:07:19 | 0:07:23 | |
but, Mum, I'm really close! | 0:07:23 | 0:07:24 | |
So close. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
I can imagine you ending up on Newsnight as a topic. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
I mean, I'm not massively shocked | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
-that you've chosen Jeremy Corbyn. -Really? | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
-Well, you know, you're Nigel Havers, for goodness' sake. -Yeah. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
If you'd chosen cravats, I would have been gobsmacked. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
He doesn't preach what he says. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
You can't say, "I'm home making jam," | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
then you say, "I don't agree with sugar." | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
What the hell is that all about? | 0:07:53 | 0:07:54 | |
I'm surprised this is the policy you've picked on. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
Let's bring us all in, | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
because I've got another thing that makes me love Jeremy Corbyn. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
And this is a... | 0:08:04 | 0:08:05 | |
I mean, they love a photo opportunity, | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
don't they, politicians? That's one of their things. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
They're holding a child, | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
they're standing next to some... | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
But this is one of my favourite politician photo opportunities. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:17 | |
-That's one of my favourites an' all. -Yeah. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
-He's got your vote. -I mean... | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
He's not gone, "No, I'm not going to... | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
"I'm not going to not expose myself...!" | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
Well... | 0:08:33 | 0:08:34 | |
He said, "I'm not going to not take this photo." | 0:08:36 | 0:08:40 | |
If you look at that, that is the face of a man | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
who's aware of 200 years of British comedy tradition. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:46 | |
He knows he's holding comedy in his hands there. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:50 | |
This is what he said about this photo opportunity | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
when asked about it. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:54 | |
He said... | 0:08:54 | 0:08:55 | |
"His was a pathetic little banana, | 0:09:00 | 0:09:01 | |
"and I have got a massive marrow." | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
Well, one thing I like about him | 0:09:10 | 0:09:12 | |
is he's spent a lot of his time, I think, | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
in smoky rooms, in council buildings and stuff like that, | 0:09:14 | 0:09:18 | |
and now, suddenly, he's been thrust on the main stage, | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
and he isn't always as slick and professional as he could be. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:24 | |
On one of his first major speeches, for example, | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
they read from an Autocue, | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
so they have the speech going up on a screen, | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
and you get the occasional stage direction on there | 0:09:32 | 0:09:37 | |
and the idea is that you're not supposed to read those out. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
Here's Jeremy. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
We need to be investing in skills, | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
investing in our young people, | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
and, strong message here... | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
-LAUGHTER -..not cutting student numbers. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
-Actually, I find that quite endearing, actually. -Yeah, me, too. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
-I do, I have to say. -There's been so many flashy, slick politicians, | 0:10:01 | 0:10:06 | |
I like the fact that he wears sandals and socks. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
He's like... Well, he's probably not a breath of fresh air, but... | 0:10:08 | 0:10:12 | |
We have a picture of him in his... | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
There's the sandals. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
It did make me think though, | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
he's got sandals, like Jesus, | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
he's got a beard, like Jesus, | 0:10:22 | 0:10:23 | |
he's got the same initials as Jesus... | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
..and, like Jesus, his friends call him Jezza. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
-It's only the jam thing that separates them. -It is. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
Let's find out what is winding up Rylan. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:45 | 0:10:49 | |
Low ceilings, Frank. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
As a man... | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
..I am six foot three, six foot four, | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
-depending on what boots I've got on... -OK. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
..and every day is a struggle for me. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
Whether I'll be, you know, walking along the road, | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
there could be a branch. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
Whether I'm on a plane... | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
That is a self-portrait, of myself, on the screen now. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
But, more importantly, | 0:11:15 | 0:11:17 | |
I feel that I have a constant groove in the top of my head | 0:11:17 | 0:11:22 | |
from doorframes. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
I've had to have the doorframes in my house raised. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
-Really? -Yeah. -Wow. -Because it just don't work. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
Especially when the hair's up. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
Have you considered... | 0:11:33 | 0:11:34 | |
ducking? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
Frank, I don't consider it, | 0:11:38 | 0:11:39 | |
-I am a professional ducker! -OK. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:11:43 | 0:11:47 | |
I duck morning, noon and night. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Respect. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
But I don't enjoy it. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
I just... I don't. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
And the worst one, as much as I love meeting people, | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
but it's when people ask you for the photo. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
-Hm. -Because I stand up, and they're there. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:05 | |
And their accomplice, who takes the photo, | 0:12:05 | 0:12:09 | |
is also there. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:10 | |
So, to not look like this in a photo... | 0:12:11 | 0:12:15 | |
..I have invented the lean and dip, | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
which is... | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
Catherine, can I borrow you a second? | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
So, if you come over... See, you're not too bad, actually. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
If you come here for me... | 0:12:28 | 0:12:29 | |
and I'll come this side and I'll do this. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
This leg goes to the left and I'll do that out the shot. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:35 | |
So, it looks like... | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
we're friends, | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
but I have to lean out, | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
and you can vouch - you have to take my body weight. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
Yes! | 0:12:47 | 0:12:48 | |
Yeah, so they've got to do their core strength. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:52 | |
It's every day. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:53 | |
It's beautifully done, that, I must say. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
Thank you. I've practised for a while now. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Just the geometry of it, I enjoyed. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
I mean, could you just add more gel? | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
-It's not... -Like...the top deck of a bus. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:07 | |
Let's talk about the top deck of a bus. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
It all goes on on the top deck of a bus. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
That's where you want to be on a bus, you know? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
-LAUGHTER -You do. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
-You're right, though. You're right. -Do you know what I mean? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
I mean, I'm not going to lie, I've not been on a bus for years. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:22 | |
-But... -LAUGHTER | 0:13:22 | 0:13:23 | |
I'm being serious. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
If I wanted to get on a bus, I'd want to get on the top deck... | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
..but I'll get up them stairs, | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
and I'll probably be three away from the top, | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
and that's it. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:36 | |
So, the next step is that. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
The step before the actual floor is that. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
And then, when I'm actually on the top deck, I'm like that. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:47 | 0:13:51 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
It's hard. It's tough. | 0:13:58 | 0:13:59 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:13:59 | 0:14:02 | |
You try doing that when it's moving. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
I mean, I've give half of London lap dances, | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
I really have. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
What you really need is a tourist bus, | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
then you can stand fully. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
Yeah, but then it rains, then the hair. Oh, it's a drama. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:18 | |
-You don't want your face to run. -No. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
Believe me, it's run many a time. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
Generally, would you say it was a plus, in life, to be tall? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:29 | |
At a concert, it comes in handy. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:31 | |
-Changing light bulbs? -Light bulbs are fine. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:33 | |
You can never really enjoy a maze. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:36 | |
-No. -Would be my guess. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:37 | |
I did go... I remember... | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I can't even... A good few years back now, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
I went to, like, a holiday site... | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
down in Devon, we had a lovely time, | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
and there was this, like, sort of, amusement-y park, | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
outdoor fun... | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
Fun in the farm, whatever it was called. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
And they had this maze and it was like a hedge maze, | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
and I've never been in a hedge maze, | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
but I always find it quite exciting, | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
-the thought of a hedge maze... -Mmm! -..because it's hedges. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
-Almost always. -Do you know what I mean, though? | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
As a child, you think, "Oh, hedge maze! | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
"What's in the middle?" | 0:15:14 | 0:15:15 | |
And I could tell you what was in the middle | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
from the gate at the front of the park. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
Can I tell you something? You're six foot...three? | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
Six foot three, yeah. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
My son, who is four, | 0:15:26 | 0:15:27 | |
got a certificate for swimming two metres, | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
which is... | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
less than you. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
Anyway, I feel your pain, I must say. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:39 | |
Well, you can physically feel it, if you want. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
I've got that little ridge. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:43 | |
I'm not going to feel your ridge, I'll trust you on it. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:47 | |
And I sort of think that the minimiser bra | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
goes against everything I believe in. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
-And, Nigel... -Hm. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
..I'm not going to put in... | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
I knew you wouldn't. | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
You argued your case well, but I think he is a breath of fresh air. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:03 | |
Good, I'm glad. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:04 | |
I'm beginning to agree with you. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
But I think that the case that has moved me the most, | 0:16:08 | 0:16:11 | |
and has made me.... | 0:16:11 | 0:16:12 | |
emotionally involved with the argument | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
has to be Catherine, | 0:16:15 | 0:16:16 | |
so I'm going to put minimiser bras into Room 101. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
Well done, girl! | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
CHEERING | 0:16:26 | 0:16:29 | |
So, what is... | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
Nigel's choice? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
What?! | 0:16:40 | 0:16:41 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
My choice is shops at airports. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
-Hm! -To start with, | 0:16:47 | 0:16:48 | |
they call themselves "duty-free shops" - | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
there's nothing free about them at all. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
I know for a fact that, | 0:16:53 | 0:16:54 | |
if I buy something in a duty-free shop at the airport, | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
it's going to be more expensive | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
than buying it at the high street at home. That's the first thing. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
And secondly, they make you snake through endless, endless shops. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
You're trying to get to the aeroplane. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
I find it just so frustrating | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
and it's full of things you don't want to buy | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
cos you're going on holiday anyway! | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
The whole thing is a barrage | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
of people trying to make money out of you. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
It's expensive enough flying anyway. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
You don't want to spend any more money. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:22 | |
Why can't the airport just be an airport | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
where you can just fly to where you want to go? | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:26 | 0:17:31 | |
I'll admit the duty-free is a strange shop indeed. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:37 | |
It's, sort of, chocolate, cigarettes, | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
perfume, alcohol... | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
It's like a, sort of, Loose Women theme park. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
And they sell these... | 0:17:48 | 0:17:49 | |
This is the most peculiar thing, is the whisky in a box. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:54 | |
Why does that exist? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
I mean, it's not like... | 0:17:59 | 0:18:00 | |
You know when you get guys on waste ground | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
drinking out of brown paper bags, | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
is it the sort of...? | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
You never see anyone on waste ground drinking out of one of these, ever. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:14 | |
And is the idea that, if...? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
You know, you've had a bottle of whisky at home in the evening. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
Maybe you don't drink the whole thing. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:21 | |
We've all had nights like that. Quiet nights. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
When you're halfway down and you think, | 0:18:25 | 0:18:27 | |
"I've had enough now for tonight," | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
do you actually put it back...in the box? | 0:18:29 | 0:18:33 | |
Is that what one does? | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
Do you two shop at the airport? | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
I LOVE shopping at the airport. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
Do you? | 0:18:39 | 0:18:40 | |
-Yeah, I love an airport shop. -I love an airport shop. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
But now we've had Brexit, | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
does that mean that we get the cheaper price at the airport? | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
No, more expensive. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
Oh, what's the point? | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
It's a very late reaction, if you don't mind me saying. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
You're still buying something | 0:18:56 | 0:18:57 | |
that's going to be slightly more expensive than it is back at home. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
And also, you've got hand luggage - | 0:19:01 | 0:19:02 | |
what, you're going to add more to your hand luggage? | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
And then the planes don't even let you have them. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
-No, they don't. -Then, they're like, | 0:19:07 | 0:19:08 | |
"You've got to put it all in one bag." | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
It's like, "You could've told me that | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
"before I just spent 300 quid in TK Maxx at the airport!" | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
Nobody's ever spent 300 quid in TK Maxx. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
What did you do, buy the company? | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
All I'm saying is, basically, the airport, now, is a shopping mall, | 0:19:24 | 0:19:28 | |
which happens to have, in one side of it, some aeroplanes parked up... | 0:19:28 | 0:19:33 | |
-LAUGHTER -..to take you somewhere. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
But, basically, it's a huge shopping mall. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
I'll tell you what really annoys me | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
about the airport shops at duty-free - | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
everyone likes to buy a little aftershave | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
or a perfume at the airport, it's what you do. Right? | 0:19:43 | 0:19:45 | |
It's what you do. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
But why sell 120ml bottles of perfume... | 0:19:47 | 0:19:53 | |
..for 50 quid? | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
And you think, "Bargain, I'll take it." | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
You fly out to Spain, | 0:19:58 | 0:19:59 | |
you put a bit on, "Oh, I smell lovely." | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Come back to Malaga airport, | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
"No, can't put that through, 100 mls." | 0:20:03 | 0:20:04 | |
-"What?!" -LAUGHTER | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
All these security, airport security, | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
they must be lapping it up. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
They could open a small branch of Boots! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
-He's not just a pretty face. -Thank you. -No. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:20:16 | 0:20:17 | |
I've been trying to tell you. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
You can if you check it. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:22 | |
-Yeah, but sometimes you just have hand luggage. -Oh. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
-Come on, Catherine, you've got about. -Never. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
-No, I always check a bag. -Oh, no, I can't be doing with that. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
Oh, I always do. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:31 | |
No. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
-What, you mean... -I have someone fly ahead with my luggage. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
I like to take back a gift for my partner if I've been away | 0:20:41 | 0:20:45 | |
and I tend to get them at the airport... | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
-Foolish! Foolish man. -..20 minutes before... | 0:20:48 | 0:20:51 | |
But then, her face, when she says, "Oh, Frank. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
"Another European plug adaptor." | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
It really moves me. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:02 | |
I never dream of buying one anywhere else. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
I-I just... I always forget it. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
I've got about 19 at home. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
I'll show you what I did. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
I actually... Are you familiar with Battersea Power Station? | 0:21:12 | 0:21:15 | |
AUDIENCE: Yes. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
We have a picture in case you don't remember it. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
There it is. I actually made one out of two European plug adaptors. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:23 | |
Oh, look at that! | 0:21:23 | 0:21:24 | |
Absolutely beautiful. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
That's what I do with my spare time. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
So, what is upsetting Rylan? | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
This really winds me right up. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:41 | |
Set-up paparazzi shoots. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
Obviously, I'm lucky enough, now, to work in this industry | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
and I love my job. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:49 | |
I, personally, don't like having my photo taken, | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
but what really winds me up is | 0:21:53 | 0:21:56 | |
when I do my job on certain other shows | 0:21:56 | 0:21:59 | |
where I'm talking about, maybe, a bit of gossip that's going on | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
and stuff like that, and I've got to say, | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
"Oh, did you see this picture of so-and-so in the park, | 0:22:04 | 0:22:08 | |
"working out, full face of make-up?" | 0:22:08 | 0:22:13 | |
Or someone looking sad. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
Someone looking sad, sitting by the river, | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
"Oh, so-and-so since break-up looking sad by the river." | 0:22:16 | 0:22:20 | |
That's a bit of a worry, isn't it? | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
Looking sad by the river? | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
-You would think it was a worry.. -Yes. -..but really, | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
they're sitting there going, "Have you got that shot yet?" | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
"You got that shot yet? | 0:22:31 | 0:22:33 | |
"Lovely, let's go out and have a nice bit of chicken." | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
I hate it! | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
And the ones that really wind me up are the working out ones. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
The working out ones. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:42 | |
Like someone, you know, had a little bit of weight, | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
and now they've lost the weight to get the DVD. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:47 | |
And then it's like, oh, you know, | 0:22:49 | 0:22:50 | |
they're just randomly in the park in a sports bra, | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
their hair's been done by a hairdresser, | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
up in a high ponytail, you know, perfectly straightened, | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
eye make-up, smoky eyes, heavy lip. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
No-one goes to the park with a heavy lip and a high pony. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:05 | |
Well, in the days when I was a bit more of a tabloid figure, | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
a popular Sunday newspaper offered me and my girlfriend, at the time, | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
they offered us a free week's holiday in the Caribbean... | 0:23:14 | 0:23:18 | |
-Here you go. -..if we'd agree to be photographed, | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
-just for an afternoon... -On the beach? | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
-..frolicking on the beach. -Yes! | 0:23:22 | 0:23:23 | |
I think they wanted me to frolic, unselfconsciously, | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
-with a beach ball... -Yep! -..which I have never done in my life. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
And they said, "We'll give you a free holiday, | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
"all we want is just those few shots | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
"and look as if you don't know we're there." | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
Yep, totally agree. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
And that happens every single day. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
And do you know what makes it even worse? | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
When they do it themselves. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
So, like, I don't know, let's say "Mary," for argument's sake... | 0:23:44 | 0:23:48 | |
Mary was on a reality show, work's dried up a bit, | 0:23:48 | 0:23:52 | |
don't really know what she's going to do next. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
Ring old Pappy Pete up. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
"Let's go down Southend seafront, | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
"I'll get a bag of chips, | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
"and we'll make out a seagull's attacked me." | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
No! | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
And I speak no lie, a few days ago, | 0:24:10 | 0:24:14 | |
I saw a news article with a certain person | 0:24:14 | 0:24:19 | |
who was attacked by a seagull... | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
holding a bag of chips... | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
-..in work-out gear with a heavy lip and a high pony. -No! | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:24:28 | 0:24:32 | |
We have a picture... Now, how much of this is accidental, | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
and how much of it is, they absolutely know what's going on? | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
This is Orlando Bloom | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
-and Katy Perry... -Yep. -..on a... | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
-I think it's called a paddle board thing. -Yep. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:49 | |
AUDIENCE GASPS | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
-That's a well-known shot that, isn't it? -It is. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
It's become a famous shot. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:55 | |
I feel sorry for Katy Perry | 0:24:55 | 0:24:56 | |
cos, for me, it's a big story - a picture of Katy Perry in a bikini. | 0:24:56 | 0:25:01 | |
And she has, you know... | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
-It's like on a wedding, it's the bride's day... -Yeah. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:06 | |
..whereas I feel there are three people in this marriage... | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
..and, if you look at her face, | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
I don't think she knows what's going on behind her. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:16 | |
I think she thought that was | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
the beak of a playful dolphin at her back. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
Definitely, the last time she looked behind, he was wearing pants. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
Yeah, definitely. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:27 | |
I'd like to know how he's managed to stand up | 0:25:27 | 0:25:30 | |
and get a pair of pants off on a paddle board. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
Now, I don't know if you saw the original of this picture... | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
Of course, I've seen the original of this photo. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
I thought you might have. Let's put it this way, | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
he's not in any trouble if he loses the paddle! | 0:25:41 | 0:25:42 | |
No. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:44 | |
We have a similar... a sort of a twist on this. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:50 | |
This is Richard Branson. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:52 | 0:25:54 | |
-That's not real. That's not real. -That is real! | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
That is real! | 0:25:56 | 0:25:57 | |
-And he again looks like he might not know she's there. -Yeah! | 0:25:57 | 0:26:01 | |
You know what it's like, though, when you leave the house, | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
and you've got... There's a naked woman and your haversack on the sofa, | 0:26:05 | 0:26:10 | |
and you're not looking, you just put it on and off you go. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
He's going to be reaching back for his sandwiches | 0:26:14 | 0:26:17 | |
and thinking, "Hold on!" | 0:26:17 | 0:26:18 | |
Do we know who she is? | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
Well, I think it could be a sort of sexy Gollum. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
OK, then, what's winding up Catherine? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
Hipster restaurants, yeah! | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
Look, here's one example, right? | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
There is a restaurant, I won't say where it is. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
The spelling of this restaurant is A-X-E. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:50 | |
A-X-E. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:52 | |
What would one normal person assume the name of this restaurant is? | 0:26:52 | 0:26:56 | |
-Axe. -Axe! | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
It's not called Axe, do you know what it's called? | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
Ah-shay. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
So, a normal person would go in | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
and say, "Can I have the Axe burger?" | 0:27:11 | 0:27:17 | |
And they look at you as if you've... | 0:27:17 | 0:27:22 | |
..dug out their mother's innards... | 0:27:23 | 0:27:27 | |
put them between two slices, and chomped into it, | 0:27:27 | 0:27:31 | |
because, they'll go, "It's Ah-shay." | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
And it's up-speak as well, | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
because everyone answers you with a question. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:39 | |
"It's actually ah-shay." | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
"As in, what? As in, shove it up your ar-shay?" | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:27:47 | 0:27:51 | |
To be fair, as long as they pay their tah-shays! | 0:27:52 | 0:27:56 | |
As an example of this in this country, there is a... | 0:27:58 | 0:28:02 | |
There's a restaurant in East London... | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
called Cereal Killer... | 0:28:05 | 0:28:07 | |
-Yes! -..which sells breakfast cereal. | 0:28:07 | 0:28:10 | |
And it's run by twins, in fact. | 0:28:10 | 0:28:14 | |
Hipster twins, I'm going to call them. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:17 | |
Here they are. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:18 | |
It looks as if somebody has sprinkled magical beauty dust | 0:28:19 | 0:28:23 | |
on the Hairy Bikers. | 0:28:23 | 0:28:24 | |
As long as it's fun, that's OK. | 0:28:26 | 0:28:28 | |
But in a lot of hipster restaurants, it's not fun, it's like a religion. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:32 | |
OK. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:33 | |
And it's almost like you're being judged. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:35 | |
Yeah, I don't like the coolness, but I do like the gimmickry... | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
I love anything that makes food exciting. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:40 | |
For example, I have an advert featuring - get this - | 0:28:40 | 0:28:44 | |
a SpongeBob SquarePants talking, drinking straw. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:49 | |
That is my idea of dining out, | 0:28:49 | 0:28:51 | |
and these kids - do they love it or do they love it? | 0:28:51 | 0:28:55 | |
THEY SHOUT | 0:28:55 | 0:28:57 | |
STRAW TALKS, CHILDREN YELL | 0:28:57 | 0:28:59 | |
STRAW TALKS, CHILDREN YELL | 0:29:01 | 0:29:04 | |
STRAW TALKS, CHILDREN SCREAM | 0:29:11 | 0:29:14 | |
Is that... Oh, that's... I love that. That's so funny! | 0:29:17 | 0:29:20 | |
Yeah, I think it's good to combine your market research with lots of E additives. | 0:29:20 | 0:29:25 | |
I do like the gimmicky ones, because I'm not a big... | 0:29:26 | 0:29:30 | |
I don't love eating. I'm not that interested in food. | 0:29:30 | 0:29:33 | |
-Oh! -And so, I like it... | 0:29:33 | 0:29:35 | |
I remember I was on a drip once, I loved it. | 0:29:35 | 0:29:38 | |
-Oh! Really? -Oh, it was great. | 0:29:38 | 0:29:41 | |
You know, I didn't have to get anything on my teeth, | 0:29:41 | 0:29:44 | |
I didn't gain weight. | 0:29:44 | 0:29:46 | |
I just... I didn't have to worry about it, it was just there. | 0:29:46 | 0:29:49 | |
I miss it, I'll be honest with you. | 0:29:49 | 0:29:51 | |
Hipster coffee shops, as well, that's a worry for me, | 0:29:52 | 0:29:55 | |
because I'm not a coffee connoisseur, | 0:29:55 | 0:29:58 | |
but I do like a little bit of coffee, | 0:29:58 | 0:30:01 | |
and a lot of frothy milk. | 0:30:01 | 0:30:02 | |
But there are some coffee shops where to go in and say, | 0:30:02 | 0:30:06 | |
"Could I get...? | 0:30:06 | 0:30:08 | |
"Please could I get a latte, but just one shot of coffee?" | 0:30:08 | 0:30:10 | |
And they'll say, "No." | 0:30:10 | 0:30:12 | |
"No, we cannot let our coffee leave the shop | 0:30:14 | 0:30:17 | |
"unless it's got two shots of coffee in it." | 0:30:17 | 0:30:19 | |
Cos it's below their coffee moral code... | 0:30:19 | 0:30:21 | |
Oh, wow! | 0:30:21 | 0:30:23 | |
..to leave the shop. | 0:30:23 | 0:30:24 | |
Which makes me want to run to the nearest Starbucks | 0:30:24 | 0:30:28 | |
-and kneel at their altar. -Mm. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:30 | |
And I'll get it really quickly, they'll call me by my name | 0:30:31 | 0:30:35 | |
and, if I don't like it, they make it again. | 0:30:35 | 0:30:39 | |
I don't mind all this hipster stuff, I'm sort of open to it, | 0:30:40 | 0:30:44 | |
I'm a bit like, "Yeah, you want to put a burger in a pizza box | 0:30:44 | 0:30:48 | |
"that's brought in on a wheelbarrow, I'll have a go." | 0:30:48 | 0:30:51 | |
But, before, pre-beard, pre-beard life... | 0:30:52 | 0:30:57 | |
..I received my coffee in said establishment | 0:30:58 | 0:31:02 | |
that we enjoy together, and it said, "Lady in blue top." | 0:31:02 | 0:31:07 | |
So... | 0:31:09 | 0:31:11 | |
So, obviously, I pick it up, and I look around, | 0:31:14 | 0:31:17 | |
-for the lady... -Oh, no! | 0:31:17 | 0:31:19 | |
..and then I look down... | 0:31:19 | 0:31:21 | |
..and realise I'm the only person in the shop in a blue top. | 0:31:23 | 0:31:27 | |
So I go back to the person that took my order | 0:31:27 | 0:31:31 | |
and said, "Sorry, is this...? | 0:31:31 | 0:31:33 | |
"Is this the right one?" I said, | 0:31:33 | 0:31:34 | |
"Cos it says, 'Lady in blue top.' " | 0:31:34 | 0:31:37 | |
-And he went, "No, madam, that's yours." -Oh! | 0:31:37 | 0:31:40 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:31:42 | 0:31:47 | |
So, I... | 0:31:47 | 0:31:48 | |
I'm afraid I need shops at airports, Nigel, because... | 0:31:48 | 0:31:51 | |
-Do you? -..I do a lot of last-minute gift buying. | 0:31:51 | 0:31:54 | |
-Really? -I have to get my European plug adaptor. | 0:31:54 | 0:31:56 | |
I'm going to try and put you off doing that, because you're paying more. | 0:31:56 | 0:31:59 | |
I take that as an argument but, to be honest, I'm not short of a few bob. | 0:31:59 | 0:32:02 | |
I like the... | 0:32:04 | 0:32:05 | |
I take the coolness point about hipster restaurants, | 0:32:05 | 0:32:08 | |
but I do love the madness of them, | 0:32:08 | 0:32:10 | |
and the fun has just won it through for me. | 0:32:10 | 0:32:12 | |
But the set-up paparazzi shot, it is a tragic part of modern life. | 0:32:12 | 0:32:16 | |
It really is. | 0:32:16 | 0:32:17 | |
I don't mind the paparazzi so much | 0:32:17 | 0:32:19 | |
but to actually come to a deal, that can't possibly be right, can it? | 0:32:19 | 0:32:23 | |
-No. -And if it's upset you, a man I see at the very centre of... | 0:32:23 | 0:32:26 | |
pop culture... LAUGHTER | 0:32:26 | 0:32:28 | |
..then it really can't be right, | 0:32:28 | 0:32:30 | |
-so I am going to put set up paparazzi shots into Room 101. -Yes! | 0:32:30 | 0:32:33 | |
CHEERING | 0:32:33 | 0:32:36 | |
Go! | 0:32:36 | 0:32:39 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:32:39 | 0:32:42 | |
OK, we've just got time to hear one bonus choice, | 0:32:46 | 0:32:50 | |
so let's see what Rylan goes for. | 0:32:50 | 0:32:52 | |
Yeah. | 0:33:00 | 0:33:02 | |
People that don't say "thank you" at zebra crossings | 0:33:03 | 0:33:08 | |
should be eliminated. | 0:33:08 | 0:33:10 | |
Is this when you're driving and you stop for them? | 0:33:11 | 0:33:13 | |
It's when I'm driving, or if I'm lucky enough to be driven. | 0:33:13 | 0:33:16 | |
I fume. I've thrown coffee out the window... | 0:33:16 | 0:33:20 | |
that says "Lady in blue top". | 0:33:20 | 0:33:22 | |
I've gone absolutely mad. | 0:33:22 | 0:33:25 | |
But I'll tell you why it really winds me up. | 0:33:25 | 0:33:27 | |
I'm the sort of person, | 0:33:27 | 0:33:29 | |
if I'm in the wrong I'll still go, "Sorry!" | 0:33:29 | 0:33:30 | |
You know, it's quite a British thing to do, isn't it? | 0:33:30 | 0:33:33 | |
And at a zebra crossing, when someone crosses the crossing, | 0:33:33 | 0:33:36 | |
-I still go... -HE MOUTHS | 0:33:36 | 0:33:38 | |
-When you're driving? Oh, OK. -Yeah, even when I'm driving. | 0:33:38 | 0:33:40 | |
But I'll tell you what it is - it really winds me up | 0:33:40 | 0:33:43 | |
and it's always wound me up, | 0:33:43 | 0:33:44 | |
because about a year ago, | 0:33:44 | 0:33:46 | |
my mother and my father-in-law, | 0:33:46 | 0:33:48 | |
they live in a very small village and it's really village-y, | 0:33:48 | 0:33:51 | |
there's a pond, you know, little post office | 0:33:51 | 0:33:54 | |
and a church - it's really lovely. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:56 | |
And once, I was driving into the village | 0:33:56 | 0:33:59 | |
and there was a duck... | 0:33:59 | 0:34:01 | |
standing on one side of the zebra crossing. | 0:34:01 | 0:34:04 | |
And I'm not one of them that would just run a duck over. | 0:34:04 | 0:34:07 | |
I'm not. And I swear to God, I stopped, | 0:34:07 | 0:34:11 | |
this duck crossed the zebra crossing | 0:34:11 | 0:34:15 | |
and as it crossed, lifted a wing. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:34:18 | 0:34:20 | |
And I stayed at that zebra crossing for about a minute | 0:34:25 | 0:34:29 | |
and watched this very aware duck... | 0:34:29 | 0:34:32 | |
and polite... | 0:34:32 | 0:34:34 | |
waddle off to the pond, jump in and do what it does. | 0:34:34 | 0:34:38 | |
And from that moment on, | 0:34:38 | 0:34:40 | |
I always think, | 0:34:40 | 0:34:42 | |
if that duck can raise a wing, | 0:34:42 | 0:34:46 | |
and say thank you, | 0:34:46 | 0:34:49 | |
why can't you? | 0:34:49 | 0:34:52 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:34:52 | 0:34:54 | |
We have a picture of... I think this is my favourite picture | 0:34:57 | 0:35:00 | |
of what I would call a zebra-crossing smile. | 0:35:00 | 0:35:02 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:35:02 | 0:35:04 | |
Can I say I don't approve of testing fake tan on animals? | 0:35:08 | 0:35:12 | |
You'd be too young to remember the panda crossing. | 0:35:14 | 0:35:17 | |
-Do you remember the panda crossing? -Yeah. Yeah. | 0:35:17 | 0:35:20 | |
This was a sort of experiment in the '60s, but this was the shape they went for to represent the panda. | 0:35:20 | 0:35:27 | |
Rubbish representation of the panda. | 0:35:27 | 0:35:29 | |
What's the difference between a panda crossing and a zebra crossing? | 0:35:29 | 0:35:32 | |
I think the idea was that you could stop in the middle if you wanted to, | 0:35:32 | 0:35:36 | |
which to me is not a big advantage. | 0:35:36 | 0:35:38 | |
-No. -I mean, how many people think, "Well, I don't want to cross the whole road... | 0:35:38 | 0:35:42 | |
"but I wouldn't mind having a look, a closer look at that side." | 0:35:42 | 0:35:46 | |
A little mosey in the middle. | 0:35:46 | 0:35:48 | |
Yeah. Do some people get to the middle and think, | 0:35:48 | 0:35:51 | |
"No, I don't think so." | 0:35:51 | 0:35:53 | |
Are you familiar with the Pegasus crossing which still exists? | 0:35:54 | 0:35:58 | |
Are these real things? | 0:35:58 | 0:36:00 | |
I swear to it! | 0:36:00 | 0:36:01 | |
The Pegasus, named after the mythical winged horse, | 0:36:01 | 0:36:05 | |
is for horses to cross the road. | 0:36:05 | 0:36:08 | |
-Oh. -And - I'm not making this up - there's one outside Buckingham Palace, unsurprisingly. | 0:36:08 | 0:36:12 | |
And they have a green horse to say you can cross. | 0:36:12 | 0:36:16 | |
They've gone to the bother of changing it from the green man | 0:36:16 | 0:36:19 | |
to the green horse. | 0:36:19 | 0:36:21 | |
We have one. | 0:36:21 | 0:36:22 | |
-Why have they bothered with that? -Oh, yeah. | 0:36:24 | 0:36:26 | |
Because if the green man comes up, | 0:36:26 | 0:36:29 | |
the horse is not going to look back and say, "I think this is you, isn't it?" | 0:36:29 | 0:36:32 | |
So, when you are crossing a zebra crossing, | 0:36:36 | 0:36:40 | |
what kind of gratitude do you show? | 0:36:40 | 0:36:43 | |
I'll always stop, look, | 0:36:43 | 0:36:46 | |
and then when they pull up, | 0:36:46 | 0:36:48 | |
I'll then look again, ask if they want a photo, | 0:36:48 | 0:36:51 | |
and then I'll bend... | 0:36:51 | 0:36:54 | |
I was hoping that you might do something like this to show your gratitude. | 0:36:54 | 0:36:59 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:37:13 | 0:37:15 | |
Ah! | 0:37:31 | 0:37:32 | |
One time! | 0:37:32 | 0:37:34 | |
And then the driver goes... | 0:37:37 | 0:37:40 | |
Oh, it's lovely, Rylan. I love that clip. | 0:37:42 | 0:37:44 | |
Oh... | 0:37:44 | 0:37:46 | |
Well, look, the truth is it doesn't matter what I think. | 0:37:48 | 0:37:50 | |
-It's your bonus choice, Rylan, and so it's going into Room 101. -Yes! | 0:37:50 | 0:37:53 | |
And that brings us to the end of the show, | 0:38:04 | 0:38:07 | |
strong message here... Well done... | 0:38:07 | 0:38:10 | |
Well done, Rylan, you were the most persuasive guest, | 0:38:10 | 0:38:13 | |
so you are this week's winner. | 0:38:13 | 0:38:15 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:38:15 | 0:38:18 | |
So, thanks very much, Rylan Clark-Neal, | 0:38:20 | 0:38:23 | |
Catherine Tate and Nigel Havers. | 0:38:23 | 0:38:25 | |
And thank you, goodnight. | 0:38:25 | 0:38:26 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:38:26 | 0:38:30 |