Browse content similar to Lights Out. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
Right, give this a wee go. | 0:00:00 | 0:00:00 | |
Hello? Hello? | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
No, I'm outside the cab. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
No, cos you get the jail for talking on the phone now. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
It's dangerous. Safety first wi' me, Davie boy. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:02 | |
I dunno. Parkmill, I think. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
Nah, that's me done. Eh? | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
Aye. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
What, tonight? | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
Aye, a couple of pints. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
Nae problem. Good. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
BOOM! | 0:01:17 | 0:01:18 | |
No! | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Right, Mr Douglas, that's you. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
Just sign here. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
There ye are. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
Thank very much. You're very welcome. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
So, are you happy? Happy with what? | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
Yer removal. Very happy, aye. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
Oh, aye. Aye. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
Let's see what I've got here. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
Does that look like a Ferrari to you? | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
Eh? Or an Aston Martin? Or a Lamborghini? No, it's a... | 0:01:54 | 0:01:57 | |
..disabled buggy, that's right. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
Sling yer hook, ya gormless bastard. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
Put yer money away. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:02 | |
Thanks, Winston. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
For the day, an' that. Eh? Oh, no, no. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
It's me that should be thanking you. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
It's all good news having a friendly face doon the stair fae ye, y'know. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:14 | |
The last guy was an utter arsehole. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
See that damp patch up there on the ceiling? | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Aye. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:21 | |
That was me. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
The bastard gave me a pile of snash on the landing one day, | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
so I filled the bath, put the plug in and went oot. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
I'll bet that showed him. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:30 | |
Aye, it showed him. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
That'll need to be painted, Winston. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
Aye. Don't worry, I'll dae it. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:40 | |
Right, here's what we'll do. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
We'll catch a bit of the racing, | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
then I'll start emptying some of these boxes. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:48 | |
Right, a wee toast. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
To new neighbours. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
This is gonna be smashin'. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
Here. Use these. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
You takin' them oot the remote control? | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
Aye, why not? And how are we gonna watch the telly? There isnae any telly! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
We've nae power, ya clown! Oh, aye. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
Right, give this a wee go. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
STATIC CRACKLES | 0:03:23 | 0:03:24 | |
'..knocking out the power supply to Parkmill, Craiglang and Carnvale. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:28 | |
'A spokesman from Scottish Electricity | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
'said they are doing everything in their power | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
'to reinstate the electricity supply to these areas.' | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
"Everything in their power"! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
'They were unsure of how long this would take, | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
'as the damage was quite significant. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
'Edinburgh Zoo are proud to announce the birth of two new babies! | 0:03:41 | 0:03:45 | |
'Two new koala bears, that is. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
'Mother and...' Is that it? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
How did it happen? When did it happen? How long's it aff fer? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
Bloody news, by Christ! Hey, boys! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
Isa? | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
The whole scheme's oot! | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
Some fella drove his lorry into the substation this morning, half past ten. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:02 | |
Peggy's brother works for the leccy. H's saying it could be off for a week. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:06 | |
You get more information oot your letterbox than you do oot this tranny. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
Incredible, isn't it? | 0:04:10 | 0:04:11 | |
Weather? Rain this afternoon, but we should have a clear night. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:18 | |
Traffic? How do you mean? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
Is there any congestion at Charing Cross at the M8 cut-off? | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
How would I know? Well, unless you've got a bloody helicopter, you're nae use to us. Thank you. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:28 | |
Charming(!) | 0:04:28 | 0:04:29 | |
I'm freezing. Gonnae put the fire on? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Aye, put it on full blast. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
Nae power! | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
Oh, Jesus. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
Och, well, this is dire. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
Apart from a couple of tins of soup an' half a loaf, I've got nothing in. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
It's not a blizzard. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
We'll just stock up. We'll get candles, batteries - provisions and that. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
Mm. They'll be at the panic-buyin' at Navid's. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
Aye. All the shitebag merchants buyin' stuff they don't need. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
"Gimme six loaves, 12 pints of milk and all yer Brillo pads, | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
"cos ye cannae get enough Brillo pads in a blackout"! | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
Mm. Maybe we should get doon there, eh? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
Aye. Aye. Quick cup of tea first? | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
I'll stick the kettle.... | 0:05:13 | 0:05:14 | |
VICTOR CHUCKLES | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
The whole estate's oot. Some guy ran his truck into the back of the substation. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:26 | |
Probably steaming drunk. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
You've picked a cracking day to move in, Joe. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
Nae electricity. Aye. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
At least you're not as bad as the high flats, eh? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
They're all electric. I liked the high flats. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
I don't know if I've done the right thing moving in low down. Eh? | 0:05:39 | 0:05:43 | |
That's how they moved ye. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
The flats is nae place for a man in your position. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
Come on noo, they've built you that concrete ramp and you've got all yer low-doon light switches. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:54 | |
They don't work, but. They don't work noo, but they will do. Aye. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:59 | |
I wonder how long it's gonna be aff for? I'm worried about my chair. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
I never thought about that. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
Ye've tae charge that up. Aye. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
Well, I'll just sit here, and I'll only use it if I really need tae. Aye. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:14 | |
Aye, good call. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
Listen you, Joe, | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
you've landed on yer feet here, pardon the pun. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
I mean, I'm only up the stair, you know. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
If there's anything you're needing, whenever you're needing it, all you have to do is shout. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:29 | |
Or better still, just do this. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:33 | |
I'll plaster that an' then I'll paint it. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
Aye. Drunk driver. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
Driving a lorry oot his mind right into the substation. You don't say. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
Now, have ye any Brillo pads? Naw. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
I'll take 18 rolls. Nae rolls. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
I'll take four loaves? Look around you, love. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
This shop is like Russia. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
I've got Marigold gloves, butter beans and as much pineappleade as you want. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:03 | |
Clock is ticking. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
I have to rush you. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:08 | |
I'll take the beans and the gloves. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
Congratulations! She's gone for the beans and the gloves! | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
You've been a great contestant! | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
And thank you for playing Panic Buy. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
How you doing, Navid? One second, Jack. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
Anybody for pineappleade? | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
GRUMBLING | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Where's Meena the day, Navid? Down the cash and carry, running about like a blue-arsed fly. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:33 | |
I suppose it's pointless asking for bread. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
You'd think so. But as, er, valued customers, | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
you are privy to Navid's private stock. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
There you go. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
That's great, Navid. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
Ten pound. Whit?! | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
For two loaves? | 0:07:51 | 0:07:52 | |
Look at you. I'm only pulling yer pisser. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
Look at your wee faces! ?1.80. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
Ten quid. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
That's more like it. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:04 | |
Er, two loaves, Navid. Oh, no' you an' all? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
What? Panic buying. Behaving like an arsehole. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
What ya gonna do, Winston, ya greedy bastard? Eat two loaves? | 0:08:09 | 0:08:13 | |
One's for me, the other one's for Joe. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:15 | |
Oh, Joe in the chair? Aye. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Carry on then. Thank you very much(!) | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
Coming for a pint? Aye! | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
That's Meena back fae the cash and carry, there, Navid. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
AIR HORN | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
Supplies! | 0:08:35 | 0:08:39 | |
Oh, look who it is - Huey, Dewey and Louie. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Who? The Disney characters. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
Oh, right, aye. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
Well, get us three pints, ya goofy bastard! | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
Bottles only. Pump's off. | 0:08:58 | 0:08:59 | |
Tam, Shug. Hey, Eck. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:02 | |
Right, I'm gonna have a go at the puggy. Aye, aye. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
Puggy's off. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
Ye nearly there yet, Shug? Gies a minute, will ye? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
You want another beer, mate? Nah. That's me. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
Shug and I'll take a couple of bottles of beer, Boaby. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
Four quid. There's a fiver. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
Hear what happened at the power station? Aye. A lorry driver ran intae it and humped it. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:26 | |
No, no, no, no, no. Cock-eyed with the drugs, he was. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
The polis were chasing for miles. He was shoutin' and bawlin' oot the windae. Lost control of the lorry. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:34 | |
Boof. Lights out. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Aye, it's grim, innit? | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
It's no' that bad. Saves yer meter running up a bill. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
There's money to be saved in a power cut. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
Aye, well, no' in here there's no'. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
That's no' a fiver, Tam. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
That's a DRAWING of a fiver. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
Nearly. Nearly. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
This is good fun. We should just camp here, get pished! | 0:09:53 | 0:09:57 | |
Aye. We'll hole up. It's like a bunker. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
It's like the war. Aye. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
It's a war, all right. A war of wits. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
And we havenae seen the worst of it yet. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
Aye, blackouts is bad times, | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
especially for a shitehole like Craiglang. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
I've seen it in the Army, when we used to go intae places, | 0:10:13 | 0:10:17 | |
places that had been flattened. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Nae power, nae phones. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
Everything knocked oot. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
It doesn't take much for an ordered society to descend into chaos. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:30 | |
Even those that walk the straight and narrow | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
are tempted to behave uncharacteristically under cover of darkness, taking advantage. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:38 | |
Looting. Stealing. Mugging. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
All aided by the fact that naebody can see what they're up to in the dark. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:46 | |
Gie it a rest! Bloody Bela Lugosi! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
No, I'm telling you. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:51 | |
You can sneer all you like. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
But the best thing you can all do is go back to your hooses, | 0:10:53 | 0:10:56 | |
lock your doors and wait it out in safety because that's what I'll be doing. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
Right. CRACKLING | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
ALL: Hooray! | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
Here, Winston. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
Away and shut that door in case any "bad people" come in! | 0:11:07 | 0:11:12 | |
CHUCKLING Whooo! | 0:11:12 | 0:11:13 | |
Where's ma charity bottle? | 0:11:15 | 0:11:17 | |
Where's the guy with the hat? | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
See in all the time you've lived in Craiglang, have you ever felt in danger, | 0:11:27 | 0:11:32 | |
like life-threatening danger? Naw. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:37 | |
You? Naw. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:38 | |
No' really, naw. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
We've lived all our life in Craiglang. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
You get to know a place, the areas an' that and people to avoid. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:47 | |
Aye. Ye get street smart. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Aye. Shug - "Lock your doors. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
"Don't go oot." He still thinks he's in the bloody Army. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:56 | |
Y'see, Jack, I think that people are essentially good. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
Just because we live in a slum doesnae mean we're scumbags. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
Aye, but I can see where he's coming from. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
But he's talking aboot hellholes and war situations and lawlessness, y'know? | 0:12:06 | 0:12:11 | |
The electricity's off for a couple of days. It's nae big deal. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
It's no' a state of emergency, for God's sake. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
We've still got the police. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:18 | |
Hey-ho, Joe. Ah, Winston. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:34 | |
Did you get me ma loaf? I have, aye. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
Good. Bloody starving. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:40 | |
Have ye no' had anything tae eat? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
Aye, I've a tin of salmon, but I'd nothing to put it on. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
Sorry, Joe. I didn't know. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
D'you want me to make ye a sandwich? Aye. Could ye? | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
Aye. Where's yer salmon? Is it in the cupboard? | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
No. It's in that box. The one marked "kitchen". | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
Which box? At the bottom there. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Hrrrngh... Aaaah! | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
Shite! | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
This is quite tricky. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
Ach! | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
Can we no' just play a game of Monopoly? | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
No. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
Have you got Scrabble? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
I don't like Scrabble. I hate it. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
You must have a deck of cards. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Come on, will ye play the bloody game? Right... | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
BUZZING Oh, ya bastard! | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
That's the funny bone. I knew that would hump you! This is stupid, Jack. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:38 | |
Ye cannae operate in the dark! | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
BUZZING Aah, for f... Mebbe you're right. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
SCREAM Oh, my God! Jack! Victor! | 0:13:46 | 0:13:52 | |
I've been broke intae! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
Christ, Isa, so you have. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
Winston? | 0:14:14 | 0:14:18 | |
Winston! | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
Winston! For God's sake! | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
Yes, Joe? | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
I'm in the toilet. C'mere. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
OK, Joe, what do you need? | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
Toilet roll. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:40 | |
It's in one of they boxes, I think. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Right. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
Oh, and you couldnae dae us a bowl of cornflakes, could ye? Cornflakes? Aye. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:51 | |
Ach, it doesnae matter. I've nae milk. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
I'll get ye milk. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
The stupid thing is I was doonstairs checking Sadie was awright. | 0:14:57 | 0:15:01 | |
Meanwhile, some bugger's up ransackin' ma hoose! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
I was lucky, but, Peggy. They never got my handbag. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
I had that wi' me. Well, that's something, at least. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
Aye, see, you're vulnerable, hen. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
Up there alone. At least I've a man to protect me. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
Haw, where's the crisps and nuts, ya useless bastard? | 0:15:14 | 0:15:18 | |
Get yer arse back tae that bar or so help me, I'll set about ye right now in front of Isa! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:23 | |
I heard was it was a disengruntled employee who was sacked. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
He's loaded himself up with drink and drugs, took the works van, drove all through the city, | 0:15:26 | 0:15:31 | |
smashing into cars as he went, polis chasing him, | 0:15:31 | 0:15:35 | |
driver screaming his head aff, intae the power station. Bang. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
Darkness. Eh? | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
Aye, OK. That's a fish supper. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Breaded, not battered. Right. OK. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
Ye want salt on the chips but no' on the fish. Right, OK. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
Vinegar, aye. Right, just on the fish. Sauce? | 0:15:51 | 0:15:56 | |
On both? | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
You want sauce just on the chips? | 0:15:59 | 0:16:00 | |
Right, OK, Joe. Bye. Uh-huh. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
And a pickled onion. Aye. Bye! | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
What's that aboot? Jeezo. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
He's a hell of a nice guy, Joe, | 0:16:10 | 0:16:11 | |
but I've been runnin' aboot daft after him. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
I got him his loaf and I plastered the ceiling, | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
then this morning I was oot getting him his milk, | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
put his line on at the bookies. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:20 | |
I finally get for a bit of me time and he wants me to go and get fish and chips. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:24 | |
So that's me on a bus to the High Street cos the chippie here's got nae power. Aye. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:29 | |
And ye cannae say anything cos he's in the chair. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:33 | |
Aye. He's a... | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
No, you cannot. That's Wullie Graham's place been tanned. Eh? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
Billy Hutchins' an awe. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:40 | |
And Navid's had his windae put in. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
He's gutted. He'd just restocked the place too. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:45 | |
And they've took everything? Everything except the pineappleade. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:49 | |
Aya, a crime wave right enough. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
Well, hats off, Shug, you were right. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
Aye, I was right. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
And so it will continue as long as the leccy's aff. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:59 | |
We're sitting targets here. What are ye supposed to bloody dae? | 0:16:59 | 0:17:04 | |
Be ready. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:05 | |
What's all that, Shug? Protection. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:11 | |
There we go. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:12 | |
Er, take this little baby, for example. The Tazer. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:17 | |
70,000 volts. Blammo! End of threat. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:21 | |
That's illegal, that is. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
Only if you're caught with it. Have you no' got something else? | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
Well, if you want to go low-tech, | 0:17:26 | 0:17:30 | |
I call this the "smash and stab". | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
Even the very sight of this is enough to make somebody shite theirselves, eh? | 0:17:33 | 0:17:37 | |
A simple sock. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
What damage is that gonna dae? | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
Unless it belongs to Pete the Jakey! | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Bottle o' beer, Boaby. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
Jesus, Shug! Is that no' a bit brutal? | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
Brutal times, Victor, brutal times. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
You've got to protect yourself, Boaby, eh? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
Oh, aye. I'm sorted. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
It's these bastards oot there we're wantin' in the jail, no' us. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
Oof! That's the boy for me. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
Awright. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:10 | |
What about this, eh? Oh, aye. Whit's that? Acid, noo? | 0:18:10 | 0:18:14 | |
No, no. You've seen it the movies. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:15 | |
The robbers open the case of stolen money. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
Wee device goes aff. Bang! | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
They're covered in ink. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
Indelible ink. That's them caught. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:25 | |
Caught? How? This shite doesnae wash aff, no' for months. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:29 | |
If somebody's trying to turn you over, break into your hoose, | 0:18:29 | 0:18:33 | |
you scoosh this on them and that's them got the mark of Kane. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:37 | |
Police see them in the street that's them identified, lifted. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:41 | |
Aye. That's more like it, Shug. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:44 | |
We don't wanna kill anyone. There you go. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:48 | |
Quite right. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:49 | |
Two pounds, Tam. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
Now, that's what I was gonna say to you, Boaby. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:55 | |
I've no' lifted... | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
I've no' lifted ma... | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
Two pounds, Tam. | 0:19:00 | 0:19:01 | |
Joe? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
Joe, it's me, Joe. Is that you, Winston? | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
Aye? Where are you? Here. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:15 | |
God, what a fright ye gied me! | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
Was that you trying to get in a couple of minutes ago? | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
A couple of minutes ago? No. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
There was some bastard trying ma door. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
GLASS SHATTERS | 0:19:25 | 0:19:28 | |
Aye, ya bastard! Run! | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
And ye'll need to stick that haun up yer arse, cos the next time I see it, ye've had it! | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
There we go. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
Victor? | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Victor! | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Victor? Where are you? | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
Oh, Jesus! What ye doin'? Sssh. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:11 | |
WHISPERS: There's somebody oot there. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
On the landing? | 0:20:14 | 0:20:15 | |
Look through the peephole. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
It's pitch-black! Hold on a minute. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
Shine that over here. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
No, doon here! | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
Right, after three, you open the door. Right. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:42 | |
One...two...THREE! | 0:20:48 | 0:20:53 | |
Aaaaaah! | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
That's me bloody done helping anybody. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
All I was doing was checking his door to make sure it was locked. Then this! | 0:20:58 | 0:21:03 | |
I thought when an old biddy got a blue rinse, it was just for the hair. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
Very funny(!) | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
Och, it's no' so bad. You look like, er... | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
Christ, who is it? DOOR OPENS | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
Och, you know. Ya pair of halfwits! | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
We were on edge, Isa! Aye. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
Your place had just been done! | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Aye, it could have been anybody at the door. Aye, but it wasnae anybody. It was me! | 0:21:21 | 0:21:25 | |
I have scrubbed and scrubbed at it! | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
I don't know how long I'm gonnae be like this. Four or five weeks. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
Well, that's marvellous(!) Braveheart! | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
You look like Mel Gibson! | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
"They can take our lives, but they'll never take ma handbag!" | 0:21:37 | 0:21:42 | |
There ye go, love. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:54 | |
That's impregnable. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
Naebody's comin' through that door without your say-so. | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
And that's a freebie for the inky face? Aye. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:04 | |
Right, well, thanks, Shug. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
Sssh! What's that? | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
I didnae hear anything. Shhh! | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
FOOTSTEPS | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
Who's this gonnae be? It's no' gonnae be the postie at this time of night, is it? | 0:22:30 | 0:22:34 | |
It could just be somebody goin' up to their flat. I mean, the lift's aff. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:38 | |
They've stopped. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:39 | |
Do you want me to go and get that inky thing? No, no. No' this time. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:44 | |
Right. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
Put oot the torches. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:47 | |
ELECTRIC SURGE Ohhhhh! | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
Stand back! | 0:22:53 | 0:22:54 | |
Oh, shite! Andy! Andy! You awright? | 0:22:55 | 0:22:59 | |
What happened? One of these old guys Tazered you. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
What are you doing with a bloody Tazer? | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
We've got to protect ourselves. Not with a Tazer ye don't! | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
They're illegal, as well you know. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
You'll have to be charged with this. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
Youse - in the hoose. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:14 | |
Right, youse, follow me. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:16 | |
Where do you live? I'm in there, son. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:24 | |
Oh! They've got them on again. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
Right, away in the hoose and get yourself a cup of tea. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
I'll need to interview you in a minute. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
In you go. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:35 | |
Hello? Hello? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
Is that Craiglang police station? | 0:23:40 | 0:23:41 | |
It's Jack, Victor and Shug! | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
Shug's no frae this address, he doesn't live here. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
The police are here, except they're no' polis! | 0:23:46 | 0:23:48 | |
One of them's got a blue hand cos Shug gave Jack, Victor and Winston a turkey baster full of ink. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:53 | |
That's why I've got a blue face. What was that bit? | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
You've got a blue FACE? | 0:23:56 | 0:23:57 | |
How did you get a blue face? | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
You know what? | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
Never mind. Phone us back when ye've dried oot. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:06 | |
What was that, John? | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
Junkie. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:10 | |
Blue face! | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
Oh... | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
Oh, come on. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
Come on, pick up. Oh, pick up! | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
So will I be getting charged? | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
Course you're no' getting charged, ya dozy old bastard. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
That is good of you, considering what happened to you, son. You must have got a hell of a scare. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:32 | |
Jack, look at his hand. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
Now, that is a criminal offence, impersonating a police officer. I think they're past that stage. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:41 | |
Who lives in the hoose across the landing? I do. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
Keys. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
Sit doon. Sit doon! | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
Wallets and watches. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
There y'are. Ta. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
Ta. Magic! | 0:25:02 | 0:25:06 | |
Now, you - wedding ring. Eh? | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
Oh, that's stuck there. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
I've never had it off. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
It'll no'... It'll no'... Oh, there it is there. Ta. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:16 | |
C'mon! | 0:25:24 | 0:25:25 | |
let's get out of here! | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
Aye. Get lost, ya couple of lousy bastards! | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
The minute you're away, we're gonnae phone the REAL bloody polis. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:33 | |
That was the right thing to say(!) | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
C'mon, what ye daein'? | 0:25:45 | 0:25:48 | |
I'm lockin' these old duffers in! | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
Oh, it's the boys in blue. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
Ye goin' doon? In ye come. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
Thanks. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
That's good the electricity's back on, eh? | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
Er, aye. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:11 | |
Ye must've been right busy the last few nights with the power being off. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:18 | |
Aye. Busy. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
Aye, youse do a grand job, youse boys. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
Cos you really get the fear when you get to my age. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:29 | |
Stuck in this chair. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
In the hoose alone, vulnerable. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:36 | |
I mean, well, anybody could come to the door. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:43 | |
You never know when you're gonnae get smacked over the heid. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
Cos then ye'd be snookered. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
Aye, ex-employee. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
Sets about the gaffer. The gaffer loses an eye. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
Then the boy steals an 18-wheel articulated lorry and fires right into the town with it. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:31 | |
And he mows down three pensioners standing outside the Viking Bar having a smoke. We knew two of them. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:36 | |
Then he takes the artic into the park, where he stops momentarily to hit up with junk. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:41 | |
By the time he arrives at the substation, he's got eight cop cars and a helicopter in tow. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:45 | |
He leaps oot the lorry with a gun and starts picking off ex-colleagues. | 0:27:45 | 0:27:49 | |
Blam! Blam! Blam! Seven of them bought it. | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
That's a wee bit of exaggeration. It was only actually six. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:54 | |
Aye, six. Well, unbelievable, eh? | 0:27:54 | 0:27:57 | |
Aye, unbelievable. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:58 | |
Right. Good. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
Everyone, to Winston, for saving our necks. Aye, Winston. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:07 | |
Hold on. If Isa hadn't've phoned me, I wouldnae have known what was going on. | 0:28:07 | 0:28:11 | |
Oh, right, OK, well... Well, to Isa. Oh, hold on. | 0:28:11 | 0:28:13 | |
Have you not got a drink, love? No. | 0:28:13 | 0:28:15 | |
Boaby. Get us a Blue Nun, will ye? | 0:28:15 | 0:28:17 |