Episode 6 Sweat the Small Stuff

This programme contains adult humour and strong language.

Hello! I'm Nick Grimshaw. Welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff. Let's go meet

the teams. Joining Melvin Odoom this week is comedian Bobby Mair and it's

the chart topping rapper who's sweating because he hates being

called a rapper - it's UK rap sensation, Example! Go on, give us a

rap. And over on Rochelle Humes' team is very funny man Joel Dommett

and the Scissor Sister who's sweating because we might ask her to

demonstrate what her band name means. It's Ana Matronic. So let's

go and sweat the small stuff! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. Hi everyone!

Welcome to Sweat the Small Stuff. This is the panel show all about

those little annoyances in life. Because life's little annoyances

really are worth worrying about. Like this week I've been sweating

about celebrity love lives. I have been sweat gt about a cyclist who

got a lot of dog poo over him. One bystander commented: "I've not seen

that much sheet being peddled since Example released his last album!"

I'm only joking Example, you know I love your sheet! We've actually got

a photo of that horrific incident, now look away now if you're easily

offended. What this a picture. Let's start off by finding out how our

team captains are? Rochelle, how are you? Very well. You left your shoes

last week. This week you left your coal tin. I will put it on to

prove... It fits perfect. It is nice, come on Bobby. If you force

it. I think it might be too small. I can't take it off. It is quite

tight. I will get him. Don't touch him with your hands! Why not?

Because he is not a nice person. Oh my God. I'm stuck. It was funny at

the start. But now... You've got to watch her! I will have that arm!

Come on, have you got it? Oh! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. Well done. I

have got a bit of a sweat on. I'm sweating. Oh my God it is Example's

baby! I don't know what was said, but you were talking nonsense. I had

a go at Alexander Burke and you stuck up for her. You said I have

heard the Saturdays and it was like eating a dog sheet salad. Did you

see that? It is fine. I won't say, I bought disco lover as well. Love! It

is cool. Do you want to have a hug? A little one.

Ana Matronic welcome to sweat the small stuff. How are you? Very well.

It is amazing to have a Scissor Sister on the show. I feel like that

is proper. Here you are. That is me on the left! Ana, you're a big fan

of robots. Yes. You want to have a robotic arm. Yes. I have a tattoo.

Why don't we play shag, marry kill with robots. With Robocop, Wall-E

and Optimus Prime. Wall-E is too sentimental. But after he banged

you, he would clean up. He would. I will go shag Robocop. Robo Cock! And

will Wall-E and marry Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime will be furious when

he finds out you locked Robocop. He will lock you on his own bonnet. And

Bobby is here. Are you the kind of guy that sweats over things? I'm

pretty upset all of the time. I'm sick of people thinking I'm homeless

if I sit down in public. It is really not fair. The other day I was

in front of a shop and yes, I was reading Big Issue, because of the

cover, not because I sell it. I'm smoking a cigarette, because I'm

suicidal and passive aggressive and this gorgeous girls smiles and I

think, she has seen me on TV, I have got it. Whatever it is I have never

had. She said do you want a sandwich or something? She thought I was

homeless and she didn't trust me to just give me money. She thought I

would spend it on drugs, by is true but offensive. You do have an air of

sort of serial killer. Like you care, you wouldn't talk to me on the

street. If I walked up to your car, you would drive over my foot! Time

for round one and what have you been sweating about? When I make love to

a sweet woman. I can't bear to hear it any more. He always describes it

as sweet love. I like to keep it fresh and I thought about trying

spanking. Do you ask to spank someone? If somebody questions. How

hard do you do it? I reckon you have done it. Oh, not me. I thought we

would find out how common it was and rounded up some people and asked

them have you ever been spanked. We will see the person swear on this!

Jingle merrily on high. This is one of sweats, that everyone is getting

excited about Christmas and it is November. So we should probably hold

a ceremony for the first annual turning on of the quiff of Grimmy

Christmas lights. So you need a special celebrity guest and here to

turn on the quiff of Grimmy light is the one and only Christopher

Maloney! Five, four, three, two... Stop for a second. How is your Nan?

She is good. She is brilliant. She sends her love. Five, four, three,

two, one! Yeah! Thank you Chris. It is not about Christmas it is about

spanking and we got people to interthey would tell the truth. All

you what to do is decide if they were the sort of person who would be

spanked. Melvin's team you go first. I swear to tell the truth. Have you

ever been spanked? What do we think? He was probably spanked at school by

other boys. He leaves mischievous. I think he is hiding something. Yes, a

paddle behind his back. Probably a yes. I don't think. So my mum does

get quite angry, but not sexually, just as in bad boy. I love he

clarifies, not in a sexual way. Rochelle's team, do they look like

they have involved in spanking. I swear to tell the whole truth. Have

you ever been spanked? Yes. They're saying yes. Yeah. I think yeah. She

keeps that ring on. Oh. They say yes. Maybe! Yes! She looks like she

loves it. Next one for you. I swear to tell the truth. As an adult have

you ever been spanked? He looks like he is thinking about that spank he

had. It was a sweet one on the left cheek. What do we say? Let's just

keep saying yes. Let's find out. Maybe. Yes. Did you like it? He was

like a bond villain. Yes, I think I have. Oh! Thank you to people for

playing on the quiff of Grimmy. I imagine you have nothing to sweat

about. I heard you signed a huge record deal for millions. No, not

millions. They make stuff up. Well, how big is your telly? 65 inch. He

is a billionaire. 65 inches?. You got married this year. Yes. He is

rich and got married. Congratulations. Yes thank you.

There he is. I'm so rich! Don't you worry about a thing. You throw the

flowers out I will get you more. Will you have some baby Examples. I

think we will try soon. What do you want? I have got a busy schedule.

Now time for the challenges. Where each week I challenge Rochelle and

smell Melvin -- Melvin to take a challenge. This week's sweat is

about the people who have inappropriate conversations on their

phones in public. So let's see who is victorious in the challenges. Why

don't you give it up, go back to your singing, go with your

girlfriends. That was nice. Sometimes I do wish I was in the

Saturdays so I could spent more time with have a Ness is a. -- van ess is

a. -- Vanessa. I am surprised you have on TV, you have a face for

radio. So you will receive three phone calls. All of which you will

take in public, in order to win. And cause a member of the public to walk

away or ask you to be quiet. PHONE RINGS. Hi, how are you. You do what?

No, no, please. Because I can't satisfy, I told you I'm getting them

enlarged. Beach balls, but I love you. I will do it. Will it help if I

sing a song. # Everybody in love! I made one mistake. I didn't mean to

kiss her. I didn't know she was your sister. I found someone else any

way. No, bye. I'm with someone now. You're making a mistake. Fine.

Don't... Leave me! Hello. You have got my results

right? I was away for two week and went in the jungle for a tiny bit.

An STD do you know what STD stands for. Oh right. OK. Ebola?

Gonorrhoea? That must be causing the leakage. Have you heard of EBOLA.

It comes from monkeys? What does airborne mean? I'm going now. God!

No more funny business for me. Bye. Hello. Hey baby. I'm so glad you

rang. I'm naked now! I will give you a cuddle. I will do everything you

like tonight, just the way you like it. Hmm! I had a dream that I died

and went to heaven, but heaven was just me and you cuddling, it was so

cute. Kissing and hugging and... Sex and sheet! I hope I don't cuddle

you. Best dress ever. Just thinking about you is getting me all aroused

and worked up. But there is some hot looking people around here. I can't

wait to see you in five minutes, it feels like forever. Don't touch

yourself there. Stop it. M wah! You're my little puppy dog! Maybe we

could do it twice tonight? How did yoi find that Rochelle? It

was so awful. You're my little puppy dog. Did you find that difficult? I

loved it. Melvin is the winner and you get a point for you team. Now

Grimmy investigates and I ask people on the radio what people's biggest

sweats are concerning a topic and then will pick a sweat and

investigate it for them. I think this deserves a detective series

opening title sequence. Last week, Melvin dressed as Shaft. This week,

it is Columbo! And just one more thing... My wife lives you, enjoy

the VT. And what is the most annoying things

about dates. We got the best texts, but one from one Emilia, who said, I

once arranged to meet a guy: I have decided to investigate

whether you can judge people from their dating profiles. We will play

a game called match me if you can. Before the show I asked each of the

panel about their dating history and from this I have created a dating

profile for each of them and put nit my own dating web-site. Grimder! So

you have to match the profile to the person. Rochelle's team who does

this profile belong to. Where would you take your ideal date, they said,

somewhere inexpensive, but a test of character. Perhaps a maze. And asked

where was the furthest they would go on on a

Who do we think this belongs to? It could be Bobby. I don't know whether

these 50 sexual partners knew about it! I think it is either Bobby or,

do you think Bobby? Let's try Bobby. They're saying Bobby Mair is that

correct? Yes! It is Bobby Mair! What happened with the girl asking about

your mother? OK, let me explain something after my mom died, sad

yes, but funny coming. She said what do you parents do, I said my dad's a

carpenter and my bomb died and -- mom died and she was like, I am

sorry. She said I'm sorry. This girl said sorry so many times I thought

she might have something to do with my mother's death! Melvin's team,

who does the profile belong to. Rochelle and Ana are glamorous. So I

don't think it is those guys. The only one pathetic enough could be

Joel. Are we going to go with Joel? It has to be. It is Joel Dommett!

What happened the onion. This is a weird one right. She had a house

party and she said come to my party and I went uptear -- upstairs and

she was with another man smogging him. I was -- snogging him. She

didn't see me and I left her house, just as is leaving, I thought, steal

something! So I went into the kitchen and I took two onions. But

she was at the top of the stairs and was like oh, my God, didn't realise

you were hear and she hugged me and I had onions in my pocket and she

felt the onion... And then she got distracted and I left. The next day

she called and I thought here is the apology. But she went, did you steal

my locking onions! I was like, oh yeah, I did. Why did you steal

onions? I went it is what you deserve! That is a good note to end

match me if you can. We didn't have time for Example's dating profile,

but Example admitted he slept with over 50 women and his worst date was

hen he slept with somebody in Ibiza but they had trouble when they

swapped numbers. This bird tweeted me and she was fit and South

American. I met up with her and... She said oh you are back in Ibiza in

a few weeks. I said yes I will see you again. I gave my phone and then

she gave me her phone to me put my numbers in and she had already

entered my name and it said, Calvin Harris! I didn't correct her. And I

saw her two weeks later. And that is why it is great to be Calvin! Well

done teams. Thank you for playing Grimmy investigates. Let's move onto

the next round? It's time for the Sweat Box where you get to actually

help members of this very audience. They will tell you what they've been

sweating about recently and you must do your best to help them out with

advice. Whichever team they decide has given them the most help will

get the point. Who's first in the sweat box? Hi our sweat is we talk

to each other in a baby voice and have a hand shake and our friends

think we are weird. You two are gins -- twins? Yes. We need the baby

voice. When you talk like a baby. We are like babies. That is how babies

speak? Can you see the secret hand shakes! Ooh! Ooh! Oh, my God. Woo!

What is your advice for these two? What should they do? Keep the hand

shake, lose the baby voice. Bobby? Well, I don't like the hand shake.

What? They look happy and I'm jealous, because they always have

friends because they're twins. Don't do ther. Just act like a human

being! They say keep the hand shake. They say lose the hand shake. Whose

advice are you kwog to take? Rochelle's! You get a point. Who are

you? James. Go on. I have no idea what that means. My sweat is about

dancing. I go out with my friends and they're showing off their moves,

I'm at the bar holding the drinks, I would like to be able to dance

better in public. That is my sweat. OK. I think we need to see how good

or bad a dapser you are. -- dancer you are. Would you dance with Ana

Matronic? OK. Let's do it. Do a bit of this. Do it romantic style. That

is great. Oh, beautiful! He has some natural rhythm. You're the only one

who has said that. There is not a lot of movement. Maybe we should all

dance. Can Can we have a music change. Shoulders James. Does anyone

from the audience want to join in with James? # I feel like dancing! #

I feel like dancing! Yeah that is it James. Melvin, let's

make him twerk! No! Thank you everyone. Rochelle do you have any

advice? I think just take Melvin out with you next time. Melvin? Just

come out with us. If every time you take all of these people and all the

audience? So who will you take? I will go with Melvin. He will go with

Mel VIP's team. That was the final round. Thank you sweat boxers. I

think the whole tension thing worked last week at the end. Let's get

tense! Up in this mother. Make it even more tense. Will Christopher

Maloney please bring on the winner's envelope. Thank you. I am moving on

Sunday and I need a couple people to help if you're free. You won't

believe this, but it is believe Melvin and Rochelle. It is like the

X Factor. I don't do -- can't do it. You have to step to it Maloney. It's

Melvin's team! Melvin's team! Oh, a big moment and a big shame for

Rochelle. Melvin, Bobby and Example, this has been Sweat the Small Stuff

and I have been Nick Grimshaw and you have all been beautiful. Good

night even! Everybody.