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This programme contains very strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
Hello, everyone! | 0:00:26 | 0:00:27 | |
I'm Nick Grimshaw, welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff! | 0:00:27 | 0:00:31 | |
-CHEERING -Yeah! | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
This is Sweat The Small Stuff, | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
the panel show all about those little annoyances in life. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
Because life's little annoyances really are worth sweating over. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:42 | |
This week, I've been sweating about Gareth Malone | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
being on the show, because... | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:00:48 | 0:00:49 | |
I know what Malone is going to do - he's going to try and make me sing. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:53 | |
And even though I don't want to, | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
once you look in Malone's eyes, you can't not sing. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
You WILL sing. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
# I can't live | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
# If living is without you... # | 0:01:03 | 0:01:06 | |
More. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:07 | |
# I can't give | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
# I can't give any more! # | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
Go for it! | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
-# I can't live...! # -I think that's fine, thank you. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
He's so persuasive. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
He's like human Rohypnol. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:20 | |
Right, before we get cracking, let's meet the teams. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
First up, we have the beautiful Rochelle Humes. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
So beautiful! | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
Who's on your team, Rochelle? | 0:01:31 | 0:01:32 | |
On my team, we have the lovely comedian Tom Rosenthal! | 0:01:32 | 0:01:37 | |
-Yeah! -APPLAUSE | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
And EastEnders' Khali Best! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
-And, next, we turn to Melvin Odoom's team. -Hello. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:48 | |
Hello, Melvin Odoom. Who's on your team this evening? | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
On my team, I have the very funny Roisin Conaty! | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
-And...? -And singing star Gareth Malone! | 0:01:57 | 0:02:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Let's get to know your team-mates this week - | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
Khali Best, welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
-You recently won the NTA for best newcomer. -Yeah! -That's right. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
That's pretty amazing. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
-That is the National...? -National Television Award. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
National Television Award! Congratulations, Khali. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Where is the award, Khali? Where do you keep the award? | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
So, what I did is, I took it home to Mum, and Mum lost her mind, | 0:02:22 | 0:02:25 | |
she was like, "Khali, I can't believe what you just did!" | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
Polishes it up, stuck it on her little mantle, | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
-and she's just got it now. -Your mum's nicked it, essentially. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
Effectively, yeah. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:35 | |
Shout out to Mum, the best newcomer at the NTA. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
-APPLAUSE -Congratulations. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
You are nominated for the Soap Awards' sexiest male, everybody. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:45 | |
ALL: Woo! | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
The sexiest male. You are up against Danny Dyer. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:52 | |
Objectively speaking, what have you got that he doesn't? | 0:02:52 | 0:02:56 | |
Chocolate brown skin, you know what I'm saying? | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
Other than that, me and Danny Dyer are exactly the same. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
What about your losing face? | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
Cos obviously if you go to award ceremonies, | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
if you're up for something, you do have to practise your losing face. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
-I'm just not going to look at anyone. -No? | 0:03:11 | 0:03:12 | |
"And the winner is...Danny Dyer!" | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
Yeah. What we thought we could do, | 0:03:16 | 0:03:17 | |
cos there's quite a lot of sexy men in here tonight, right, Rochelle? | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
-Oh, yeah! -Right, Roisin? There's a lot of sexy men. -Yeah! | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
I mean, Roisin can barely control herself tonight. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:26 | |
I want to see those hands on the desk. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
Well, I want to see who's got the best losing face tonight. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:32 | |
We polled the audience tonight before you all came and sat here, | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
to find out who the sexiest male is on the show tonight. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:39 | |
And I have the results right here in a gold envelope. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:44 | |
I can announce that the winner of 2014's sexiest male award | 0:03:44 | 0:03:50 | |
goes to... | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Oh, my God. Nick Grimshaw! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
-Oh, my God! -APPLAUSE | 0:03:54 | 0:03:58 | |
I actually... Oh, my God. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
So many people to thank, the Lord Jesus Christ. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Um, of course, my parents, the surgeon who helped, | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
it really means the world to me. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
Thank you so much. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
So embarrassing, cos I wasn't even nominated. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
Right, Gareth Malone, let me officially welcome you to the show. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Thank you, Mr Grimshaw. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
Of course, Gareth, you are best known for The Choir, | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
that documentary, a wonderful documentary, | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
which was such a huge success. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Do you now, when you watch things like The Big Reunion, | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
do you just sort of like vomit into a handkerchief? | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
-It's not QUITE what I do. -No. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
What DO you do? | 0:04:36 | 0:04:37 | |
Good question. I like to get people who've never sung before singing. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:41 | |
-Yes. -And probably that's the same on The Big Reunion, right? | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
Do you think you can make ANYONE sing well? | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
Well, Auto-Tune is amazing these days. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
What about...? | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
I'm sure she doesn't need any help. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
-CLEARS THROAT: -She does. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
Piss off. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:58 | |
Roisin Conaty is here, everybody! | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
-Hi, Roisin. -Hello. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
You know, I like you cos you immediately smile when I see you. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
-Aww. -Yeah, it makes me so happy. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
Why have you been sweating about holidays, | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
cos holidays are the best, no? | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
They're not. They're a load of old shit. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
What?! | 0:05:19 | 0:05:20 | |
-Why are they a load of old shit? -So overrated. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
I always get excited for them. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:24 | |
Like, "I'm going to go on holiday, I'm going to be happy." | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
Then I go on holiday and I get there and it's just me. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
I forget that I'm there. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
Same shitty brain, same shitty thoughts, | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
except now I've got a head full of cornrow | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
and I've got a Solero. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
It's rubbish. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
I go somewhere quiet and relaxing with no internet signals. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:47 | |
So, basically, it's like internet rehab and then you go nuts. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
Four days in, you're like, | 0:05:50 | 0:05:51 | |
"This is my stone, get your own stone." | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
Tom Rosenthal is here, everybody. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
Hi. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:03 | |
You are about to start filming a second series of Plebs? | 0:06:03 | 0:06:07 | |
-Yeah, tomorrow. -Tomorrow? -Yeah. -Oh, wow, OK. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
Well, we better get on with it. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:10 | |
For anyone who hasn't seen it, it's a sitcom set in Ancient Rome. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:14 | |
-Like Khali, you starred alongside Danny Dyer. -Yes. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
There it is. There's a picture. That is Danny Dyer's bottom. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
Does that look like it's going in his bum? | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
So, what are you seeing in that picture? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
Are you actually seeing the real deal, or has he put a sock on it? | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
No, yeah, you can see it all. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:30 | |
Was it like Dickus Massivus, or Dickus Tinius? | 0:06:30 | 0:06:35 | |
There's a lot of Danny to his Dyer. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
Wow. Dickus Massivus. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
I don't want to be crass, but in a competition | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
between mine and his genitalia, | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
I finished third. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
Let's get on with the show. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:46 | |
It's time for the round where we meet members of the public | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
and test out a sweat on them. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:50 | |
This week, we hit the streets with a particular sweat | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
that's been getting on Rochelle's nerves. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
What is that sweat, Rochelle Humes? | 0:06:55 | 0:06:56 | |
So my sweat is, you know when people think | 0:06:56 | 0:06:59 | |
they look like someone famous and you have to guess who it is? | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
I always get, "Guess who I always get told I look like?" | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
"Um..." | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
Gareth, I've heard you think you look like a celebrity. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
There's a couple, but one in particular. Should I say? | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
This makes me feel under pressure, cos I'm like, | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
"Shit, who can I mention | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
-"that's a really good-looking version of Gareth?" -LAUGHTER AND GROANING | 0:07:16 | 0:07:20 | |
Who do you think you look like? | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
I used to get people saying I look like Rick Astley quite a lot. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
Rick Astley! Let's have a look. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Oh, a little bit! | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
This is BBC Three - no-one knows who Rick Astley is! | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
Everyone's skateboarding in future merch. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
I think you look more like, um, | 0:07:37 | 0:07:38 | |
-Sue Perkins. -I get that all the time. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
That's what I'm talking about. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
Yeah, Melvin, you think your doppelganger is | 0:07:45 | 0:07:49 | |
'90s children's television presenter | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
Dave Benson Phillips. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
Here we go. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
Someone said to me, you look a little bit like | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
a black Tom P from TOWIE. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
I was like, "What are you talking about?!" But you look the same! | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:11 | |
-That is scary. -I'd like to broadcast that image for a full 30 minutes. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
We rounded up some people on the streets and asked them | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
which celebrity do you think you look like? | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
All you have to do is decide who they genuinely think they look like. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:30 | |
Now, I let Melvin name this round every week, OK? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
So what have you got for me this week? | 0:08:34 | 0:08:38 | |
..game. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
It's not great, is it? Every week. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:49 | |
Melvin's team, you go first. Take a look at the first one, please. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
Hi, I'm Matthew, I'm 18, and my celebrity lookalike is... | 0:08:54 | 0:08:58 | |
Who do you think Matthew thinks he looks like? | 0:08:58 | 0:09:02 | |
I think he looks like Ed Sheeran with brown hair. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
He does a little bit, yeah. That's good. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
I've never seen a face so dissimilar to every other face... | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
Denzel Washington, because he looks like NO-ONE. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
He looks like a homeless Prince Harry Lego man. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:17 | |
Yes! | 0:09:17 | 0:09:18 | |
What are you going to go for, Melvin's team? | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
Let's go for Ed Sheeran. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
Ed Sheeran. Let's find out if you're right. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
..and my celebrity lookalike is... | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
Harry Styles. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:30 | 0:09:31 | |
He genuinely thinks that. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
-Rochelle's team, the next one is for you. -Oh, no. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
Hi, I'm Rhodri, I'm 35, and the celebrity I think I look like is... | 0:09:41 | 0:09:48 | |
Who do we think he could be? | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
-Ben Fogle. -Who? -Ben Fogle. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
He looks WELL posh, like he likes a good game of ruggers. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
His face is pointy. You know in Angry Birds... | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
The yellow birds that you press and they go "voom", like that. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
That's what he's doing with his nose. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
The yellow bird from Angry Birds? | 0:10:03 | 0:10:04 | |
-I'm not sure he's the kind of guy who'd say that. -No. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
-I think it would be someone posh. -OK, thank you, Rochelle. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:12 | |
-Is it someone posh? -Really good input. -Who do you want to go for? | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
-He just looks like a nice guy. -Just a nice guy?! | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
I think I just look like a nice guy. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
-He does. -Nicolas Cage. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
Nicolas Cage. OK. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
Let's see if this man thinks | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
he looks like Nicolas Cage. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
The celebrity I think I look like is... | 0:10:29 | 0:10:32 | |
Daniel Craig. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
-Oh... -I knew he was can say that. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
I knew it'd be Daniel Craig. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:37 | |
-He does a bit. -I said that. -Not so licence to kill. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
Sort of licence to do your end-of-year tax report. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:44 | |
OK, let's have a look at the next one for you. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
Hi I'm Krishma, I'm 29 years old. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
The celebrity I think I look like is... | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
Who does Krishma think she looks like? | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
-Kim Kardashian. -Do you think? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
-Really? -She's kind of like | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
Kim Kardashian before | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
she went to the doctor's. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
-I think you might be right there. -I'm right with Kim. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
I don't think I can top that. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:09 | |
She looks like Kim Kardashian, | 0:11:09 | 0:11:10 | |
before Kim Kardashian had a brand-new face. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
-I don't know what she liked before that. -Like that. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
Um, let's see. Who is it? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
The celebrity I think I look like is... | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
Kim Kardashian. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:22 | |
Yes! | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
I guessed well. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
Rochelle's team, this next one to you. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
-Hi, my name is Tom. -I'm Lauren. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
-TOGETHER: -And the celebrities we think we look like are... | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
-I know who he is already. -Who? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
-RPatz. -RPatz. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
And who do you think, Khali, that she is? | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
I reckon she...he... I reckon that's Marilyn Manson. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
Marilyn Manson and RPatz. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
And the celebrities we think we look like are... | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
-..Robert Pattison... -..Kristen Stewart. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
-Kristen Stewart. -Did you see his reaction? | 0:11:53 | 0:11:57 | |
Less Twilight, more dusk! | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
Thank you to the people of Great Britain for playing | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
Fairly Famous Faces. Thank you for your faces. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
Khali, you have been sweating about something to do with talking speed. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:14 | |
Yes, I think for me. People tell me, "Khali, you talk too fast." | 0:12:14 | 0:12:18 | |
-They say, "what?" -You see? You see? They tell me | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
-that I talk too fast, right. -Yes. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
I'm like, "All right, cool, I'll try and slow down." | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
I try and slow down and I feel weird for slowing down. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
I'm like, "It's not me talking fast, you lot just listen slow. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
"Why don't you listen fast?" | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
I quite like it because the faster you speak, the faster | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
EastEnders is over and then we can get on with our real lives. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:38 | |
-Great. -I'd like to see Dot Cotton doing it really fast. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
"Oh, my God, can't believe it. Get some air..." | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
Maybe you should train her up. You should train her up. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:49 | |
Right, it's time now for Rochelle and Melvin - The Challenges. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
This is where, each week, I challenge our team captains to take | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
a small sweat out onto the streets and into the public's face. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
This week's sweat is about those kind of annoying health | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
and safety jobsworths who take health and safety to the extreme. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
So I sent Rochelle and Melvin out to find out what would happen | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
if they became those really annoying health and safety people. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
How did you find this, Rochelle? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
Like this series, it is so hard. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
It is harder but I did like this particular challenge | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
because people kind of respect you. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
-Do people not normally respect you? -No, they don't. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
Only when he's got a hard hat on. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
Well, let's find out who won in | 0:13:26 | 0:13:27 | |
Rochelle and Melvin - The Challenges. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
Rochelle is a maverick. She doesn't care about rules. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
-You've seen what she wears. -I don't have a chance. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
-Melvin's a short, annoying, anal man. -She doesn't care about you. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
She doesn't care about me. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
If he doesn't win this, he should just call it a day. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Do you know what I care about? Winning. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
This is a family and I'm Uncle Melvin. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
Come here and suck on my teat. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
"Measure the speed of a pedestrian. Accuse them of speeding." | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
"And get them to sign an official document promising not to do it again." | 0:14:03 | 0:14:08 | |
This is the worst. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
Sir, could you step to the side of the walkway, please? | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
I need to have a conversation with you about the speed of your walking. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
Excuse me. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
I have to step you to the side one minute. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
This time last year, we had a head-on collision. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
Two people just walking into each other. Arms and legs everywhere. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:27 | |
It's showing on my gun that you were walking | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
over 14kph, which is really dangerous. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
Because you got long strides, that I can see. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
But long strides kill lives. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
Short strides save lives. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
Basically you will be liable for a fine with the CCTV. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
So I just need to make sure... I know, right, I'm just doing my job. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:46 | |
You're like the Usain Bolt of walking out there. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
It's not a fucking race, do you know what I mean? | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
-Where are you off to? -I'm just going to get coffee. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
I'm sure they don't need their coffee in such a rush next time. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Are you Melvin? | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
No. No, I've already told you, my name is Fred. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
INDISTINCT | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
Thank you. Have a good day. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
Task number two. "Stop shoppers with too many bags. Weigh them. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:21 | |
"Explain they're too heavy." | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
"And if they want to continue shopping, | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
"they must use the wheelbarrow provided." | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
Excuse me, miss. Can you step to the side for a moment, please? | 0:15:28 | 0:15:33 | |
We're just checking that people's bags are an OK sort of weight. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
-Do you know how much weight you're carrying in those bags? -Too much? | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
Yes, probably. I've some scales here. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
What we're trying to encourage people to do is | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
pop their shopping in a wheelbarrow. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
Osteopaths, chiropractors and even witch doctors support this. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:53 | |
And if you can't trust a witch doctor, which doctor can you trust? | 0:15:53 | 0:15:57 | |
I know it seems ridiculous but they're definitely coming back into fashion. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:02 | |
-Do you want to give it a go? -I'm OK. -No? | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
Don't you feel more comfortable rather than holding all that weight? | 0:16:07 | 0:16:11 | |
My grandfather used to carry bags like this every day for 90 years. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:16 | |
And do you know where he is now? He's dead. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
That was good. You were both pretty incredible there. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
Are you both ceding that's a draw, cos that was a big waste of time? | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
-Yes. -It's a wasted day. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
-Yes, a wasted day. -Roisin, how do you think they got on? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
It's really hard going up to strangers and being a bell-end. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:41 | |
You both excelled at it, guys! | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
Yes, a round of applause for Rochelle and Melvin. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
Tom, why have you been sweating about Facebook quizzes? | 0:16:51 | 0:16:55 | |
Things that come up on your Facebook feed like, | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
"What minor Harry Potter character are you?" | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
"I've got Times New Roman. What font are you?" | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
-"What dictator are you?" It's a real one. -What dictator are you? | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
-"What infectious disease are you?" -What are you? -"What sex toy you?" | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
I'm not Tom Rosenthal. I'm Saddam Hussein Chlamydia Butt Plug. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:16 | |
Wow! Gareth, why have you been sweating about people putting their | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
fingers in their ears? What's wrong with that? | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
I'm fine with people with itchy ears. I've no problem with an itchy ear. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
-Thank God. -But it's when it becomes sort of unseemly | 0:17:24 | 0:17:29 | |
and almost like a kind of self-pleasuring. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
You know, when it's kind of like that | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
-and they're talking to you and looking you in the eye and going... -Oh, yeah. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:37 | |
Look at that. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:41 | |
-Oh... -Oh, I don't do that, but I do that. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
We all have quick scratch but there's no... | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
There are limits. There are limits. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
My mum said that ear masturbation'll make you go deaf. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:52 | |
The thing is, if you go deep enough, you can get an eargasm. You get it? | 0:17:53 | 0:17:58 | |
You said it's like masturbation, so I put the word "ear" into it. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
That is good. A point for your team. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
OK, let's move on to the next round. It is time for the Sweatbox, | 0:18:05 | 0:18:08 | |
where you get to help actual members of this actual audience. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:12 | |
They will tell you what they've been sweating about recently | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
and you must do your best to help them out with some nice advice. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
Whichever team they decide has given them the best advice, | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
we will give a point to. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:22 | |
Who is first in Sweatbox tonight? | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
Hi, my name is Calum and, basically, my sweat is my gaydar is off. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:30 | |
I was out for a meal with some friends last week and I couldn't tell | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
if the waiter was into me or if he was just doing his job. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
How off are you? Like your gaydar? | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
Do you ever watch Splash! and you're like, "Oh, my God, that Tom Daley is..." | 0:18:43 | 0:18:47 | |
-So butch. -"..loves the women," | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
"loves them. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
"He loves tits."? | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
Before you give advice, let's put this to the test and find out | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
if your gaydar really is off. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
Do you think, look at this panel, look at this panel, | 0:19:00 | 0:19:04 | |
do you think that anyone is gay on here? | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
Gareth? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
Gay or nay? | 0:19:09 | 0:19:10 | |
-Yay. -Gareth? -His gaydar is off. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:14 | |
Not gay. What about any of these people over here? | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
-No. I wish, but no. -No. Ooh, who do you wish? | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
I kind of wish Rochelle was a man. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
What are we going to do? We're going to test some of the audience. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
Before the show, I asked the audience | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
if there was anyone in here up for playing a game of Gay Or Nay. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
So, will those people who were ready to play the three homosexuals | 0:19:42 | 0:19:46 | |
or heterosexuals, who knows, come down to the studio floor, please. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:50 | |
# Hallelujah, it's raining men... # | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
OK, here we go. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
Calum, one by one you have to say whether you think these | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
members of our lovely audience are either gay or nay. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
Let's start with Lee. Gay or nay? | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
Right. Gay. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:13 | |
-I am gay, yeah. -He is gay! | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Gay. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:19 | |
OK, next up, we have Simon. Gay or nay? | 0:20:19 | 0:20:24 | |
Nay. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
-Simon? -I'm gay for Lee. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:27 | |
He's my boyfriend. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
Oh! Gay. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
Finally, Jake. Gay or nay? | 0:20:31 | 0:20:36 | |
-Er, gay. -Nay, I'm not. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
Nay! Boo! | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
-Boo. -I'm sorry, I love women. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
Boo. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
Thank you all for playing Gay Or Nay. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
# It's raining men, hallelujah | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
# It's raining men... # | 0:20:51 | 0:20:54 | |
Right, teams, what should Calum and his broken gaydar do? | 0:20:54 | 0:20:58 | |
Have you tried turning it on and off again? | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
There's no troubleshoot, there's no reboot, so... | 0:21:01 | 0:21:05 | |
You need to develop a special wink, that's my tip. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:08 | |
So let's see the special Malone wink. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
-GARETH MOUTHS -Oh, wow. So if Malone does the wink to you, that means he is... | 0:21:10 | 0:21:15 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
What advice would you give over here? | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
I would just ask more questions maybe. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:23 | |
The first one, "Are you gay?" | 0:21:23 | 0:21:24 | |
That's where you start. But just slip it in there so... | 0:21:24 | 0:21:29 | |
Don't slip it in there. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:30 | |
ROCHELLE SQUEALS | 0:21:30 | 0:21:31 | |
Rochelle, that's terrible advice. I mean... | 0:21:31 | 0:21:35 | |
When you're in the restaurant ordering your food, and he's like, | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
"Can I get you anything else?" Just be like, | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you gay?" Just get it out there straightaway. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
Maybe when you're looking at the menu, go, | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
"I don't know what to have. What would a gay eat?" | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
And he'll be like, "Sausage." | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
And whose advice are you going to go for? | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
-I think I'm going to have to go with Rochelle's team. -Rochelle's team. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
-Thank you. -You get a point, thank you. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:09 | |
Thanks, Calum. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
-OK, who's next in the Sweatbox? -My name is Lucy. -Hi, Lucy. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:15 | |
What's your sweat, Lucy? | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
My sweat is I have a friend who I love, love, love, love | 0:22:17 | 0:22:21 | |
but as much as I love her, I won't say she copies my style, | 0:22:21 | 0:22:25 | |
she tries to copy my style, cos like... | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
Ooh, no! | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
I'm kind of hard to copy, but, you know? | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
I like that it's not copying, it's "trying". | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
She's trying to get to this level but it's not working. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
She's essentially a shitty you. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
It's like you can't have... There's no shitty version of me. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:44 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
But you can't blame her. I feel like I want to dress like you now. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
I know. But everyone does, babe. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
Any advice for this wonderful woman that I'm fully obsessed with? | 0:22:53 | 0:22:56 | |
What you do - when you've got, like, a week off, yeah? | 0:22:56 | 0:22:59 | |
- is dye your hair green and see if she does it. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
If she does it, you'll be like, "I knew you was a hater. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
"A hater from the beginning. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:05 | |
"Go and dye your hair back, because you can't be me, babes." See what I'm trying to say? | 0:23:05 | 0:23:09 | |
And that way you'll know. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:11 | |
-APPLAUSE -Nice advice. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
And Melvin's team, what advice would you give to this woman | 0:23:13 | 0:23:17 | |
with this unfortunate problem? | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
I'd do that thing where I'd show her in a really petty way. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:23 | |
You know when you're a kid and you repeat what the person says to you? So say something. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:27 | |
-Hello. -Hello. -What's your name? -What's your name? -Where are you from? -Where are you from? | 0:23:27 | 0:23:31 | |
That's how I feel when you dress like me! | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
I like that one. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
That's brilliant! | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
Whose team do you think gave the best advice? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:43 | |
-I'm going to go here. -You got a point. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:47 | |
Yay! | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Thank you, Lucy. Right, who is next in the Sweatbox tonight? | 0:23:49 | 0:23:53 | |
Hi, my name's Zinar. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
I'm an actor and entrepreneur and my sweat is I've recently become single | 0:23:55 | 0:24:00 | |
and there's this girl mate of mine I want to ask out, | 0:24:00 | 0:24:03 | |
but I just don't know how to. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:05 | |
-Ooh. That is awkward. -How good a friend, Zinar? -Really close. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:10 | |
Oh, wow. This is an issue. Tom, do you have any advice? | 0:24:10 | 0:24:14 | |
Has this ever happened to you, Tom? | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
I've got nothing good to say except stop describing | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
yourself as an actor/entrepreneur, that's really not good. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
TOM INDISTINCT | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
Let's take a look at the lady in question. This is the lady. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
Wow! Look at that sword! | 0:24:31 | 0:24:35 | |
-Is she a model? -Yeah, she's a model. Yeah. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
She doesn't just watch telly like that? | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
Ooh, Emmerdale's on, where's my sword? | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
It turns out, when we researched this woman, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
it turns out that Melvin Odoom follows this woman on Twitter. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:53 | |
Oh, my God. Of course he does. Of course he does. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:56 | |
The worrying thing with Melvin and Twitter when he says that | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
he's following you, he actually is LITERALLY following you. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
- How long have you been friends? - For about three years. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:06 | |
It's not going to happen, mate. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
Having a friend is a good foundation for a relationship. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
You go all-out and get on your knees and you propose to this woman. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:17 | |
Yes. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
You're a good man. She's a great woman. I know - I've seen her tweets. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:23 | |
-Excuse me, have you been there? -No, no, I haven't. -No. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:27 | |
-Who are you going for? -Melvin's team. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
OK, Melvin's team, you win a point. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:30 | |
Do you know what, Zinar? I am looking forward, | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
to knowing whether or not that advice will actually help you. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:40 | |
I'm looking forward to that in the future. In fact, why wait? | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
Let's find out right now. Please welcome Charley Simmonds, everybody! | 0:25:43 | 0:25:47 | |
CHEERING | 0:25:47 | 0:25:48 | |
MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy | 0:25:48 | 0:25:52 | |
# Ooh, sexy lady... # | 0:25:52 | 0:25:56 | |
-Hi, Charley Simmonds. -Hi. -Where's your bloody sword? | 0:25:57 | 0:26:00 | |
I left it at home. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:01 | |
Oh, yeah. It's in the dishwasher. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
Go on, Zinar, you must follow through on the advice that we have given. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:10 | |
And you have to propose to Charlie. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
-Go on. -I'll just... Will you go out with me? | 0:26:13 | 0:26:17 | |
-We'll go on a date and see how it goes. -Yes! | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:20 | 0:26:23 | |
That's nice. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:26 | |
But, seriously, if you ever get married, we need to go. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
-We need to be invited to that. -I'll do the choir. -Yeah. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:32 | |
-Be the best wedding ever. -Roisin will come and get drunk. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
-It'll be brilliant. -Yes, I will! | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
Zinar, why don't you leave through the curtains | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
and it'll be like Take Me Out. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
INDISTINCT COMMENTS | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
Zinar and Charley, everyone! | 0:26:50 | 0:26:53 | |
And that was the final round. Thank you, teams. | 0:26:56 | 0:27:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:01 | |
So, it is the end of the show, which means it's time to get tense | 0:27:02 | 0:27:07 | |
right now in an attempt to make people care about who wins. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
OK, let's just get tense to try and hope people care. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:15 | |
And, OK, I'm not sure I can do this, I do feel a bit sick. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
So tense. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:19 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, I can reveal the winners of tonight's show are... | 0:27:21 | 0:27:27 | |
Be quick. I've been holding his hand for a very, very long time. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
OK, OK, OK, OK. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:32 | |
The winners tonight are... | 0:27:34 | 0:27:37 | |
Melvin's team! | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
MUSIC: "The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA | 0:27:40 | 0:27:45 | |
They are the winners. | 0:27:45 | 0:27:47 | |
So a big thank you to Rochelle, to Tom and Khali, Melvin, Gareth | 0:27:47 | 0:27:51 | |
and Roisin. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:52 | |
-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE -This has been Sweat The Small Stuff. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
I've been Nick Grimshaw. Good night. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 |