Aren't Women Daft? The Archiveologists

Caroline Gimble spends most of her time like any other housewife,

but at weekends she allows her husband

to drive his motorcycle over her face.

Clearly, she hasn't got the brains she was born with.

-Why do I always have to go under the plank!

-Shut up, you daft cow!

Whilst being driven over by a motorcycle,

the dangers are clear enough, but at home they're less obvious

and it's easy to forget safety precautions.

Why would he want to ride his bike over my face?

I don't understand it. Look at me, I'm still shaking!

PHONE RINGS

What's that ringing noise?

What's this ringing noise?

-ON PHONE:

-It's Jerry. Is your hair still massive?

Oh, hello, Jerry. How are you?

I've been shitting through the eye of a needle and I've blocked up

the lav again if you fancy coming round and having a look.

So if I come round to your house at, say, about 6.30?

OK, I won't flush it, then.

I've got a picture of me on a motorcycle

and I'm not holding the handlebars.

-Couldn't give a shit, love.

-I thought you might say that.

Ooh! The baby started a fire!

The baby started a fire!

Help! My bra's too tight!

I don't know what to do, my bra's too tight!

Sounds like your house is burning down.

Anyway, I've got to go. Bullseye's started. Bye!

I bet you think this sort of thing never happens.

Think again. It happens every day.

I know because in this hospital we have many of the victims,

men who, because of the carelessness of women,

have lost many things they value.

I could stare at you all day.

Last year, fire brigades had to deal with over 14,000 fires caused

by women that could have been avoided by following

one simple safety rule - never leave a woman unattended.

This husband only turned his back for a second

and the daft moo still managed to do this.

This chair's been set on fire by a woman

because she was left unattended.

How did a woman get up there?

That's a disaster waiting to happen.

This man's wife forgot to put an ashtray on his chest,

so now he's making her stand on a chair.

Many women have dirty spectacles, so have trouble walking down stairs.

Why are you so rubbish at walking down stairs?

Well, I've walked down them stairs 43 years. I mean...

-Did you have dirty spectacles?

-No, not exactly.

Well, there's your answer.

You've seen 25 women who regularly cause accidents.

Our women are so familiar that we always assume they're safe,

but they're only as safe as we make them.

It pays to give women the attention they deserve.

The alternative is just not worth thinking about.