Episode 6 The Guess List

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello. Hello.

Good evening, welcome to The Guess List.

It's one of the few celebrity shows

where you don't get to vote them off one at a time.

More's the pity! Here they are...

He shoots, he scores, it's Gary Lineker!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

She's living the life of Riley, literally, it's Rachel Riley!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

He's a comedy giant - it's Warwick Davis!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

He's a friend to the stars. It's Russell Grant!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And she's a Lancashire hotpot, Jane Horrocks!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, Jane.

-Jane, Jane, Jane. Mwah, mwah.

-Mwah!

Please.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, well, well.

Look at that.

Look at that, eh?

Goodness me, oh! I've got more stars on my freezer.

Russell Grant, Russell.

The man who Len Goodman said put the show into show business,

isn't that lovely?

-It's lovely.

-I saw you on it, I say you put the rot into foxtrot.

That was my highest score.

-What, your foxtrot?

-My foxtrot.

Bruno said, "You're doing a real foxtrot there, Russell,

-"a real foxtrot."

-No, he didn't.

He said, "Your-ah doing-ah real-ah foxtrot der, Russell!

"It's-ah real-ah foxtrot!"

-Absolutely.

-And then he probably said something a bit risque...

-Yes.

-..and you could see that look in his eyes where he thinks,

"Have I just lost the best job of ma bloody life?"

-What did you find the easiest to do? Was it the foxtrot?

-No, the samba.

-The samba.

-I love the samba, yeah. The samba is just a great, great number.

In fact, Rachel and I have been doing a samba in my dressing room.

-He's just taught me. He was my first samba.

-I wondered what that noise was.

-Rachel Riley.

-Rob Brydon.

-Dressed like a vegetarian wasp.

-That was the dress code, wasn't it?

-They say, Rachel, don't they,

that the young of today are just binge-drinking idiots...

..but you... you prove the young can be clever...

and binge drinking!

-Who told you?

-I smelt the dressing room, Rachel.

-Warwick.

-Hello, Rob.

How lovely to meet a showbiz man with a happy marriage, eh?

Your wife puts you on a pedestal.

No, OK. All right, all right. All right. All right. No...

APPLAUSE

Forgive me. There'll be no more short jokes.

-Thank you.

-It's just I rarely get the chance, you see.

-Absolutely.

-I've got to grab it when I can.

Well, I was actually worried about blocking you as I crossed your shot earlier on as you came on.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

In a change to my earlier announcement,

there will be more short jokes.

-It's lovely to have you here, have a lovely night tonight.

-Thank you, Rob.

Now, here is someone...

Yes. Perhaps... Perhaps the most beloved footballer.

Well, certainly on this series, he's the only one.

Now, in the '86 World Cup you won the Golden Boot. Let's take a look.

Look at that.

Yes.

I mean, Gary, never mind football, looking at that, if the football

went wrong, you could make a living in pantomime as Prince Charming.

Or if they'd already cast the Prince, how about an Ugly Sister?

-Have a good show tonight.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Finally, a bit of class on the panel.

One of our finest actresses and now...

the most recent film, Sunshine On Leith. It's a musical, isn't it?

-Yes, it is.

-Yes.

It's a musical with The Proclaimers songs.

All songs by The Proclaimers.

Now, I've not seen it yet, but I want to see it.

And do you know how far I'd be willing to walk to see that film?

LAUGHTER

That's our panel tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Let's meet the contestants.

And it's Hayley and Jon. Welcome, both of you.

-Hayley, you first, tell us where you're from.

-I'm from Portsmouth.

-Down on the South Coast, and a teacher.

-Yeah, yep.

-Now, what do you teach?

-I teach religious studies.

Not a proper subject then, just...

What made you choose it?

I had just always been interested in the subject

and liked working with children, so they went together.

-You've got a show business side to you as well, cos...

-I do, yep.

..tell us that little sideline you had for a while.

Well, whilst at university, I was part of an ABBA tribute band.

-An ABBA tribute act.

-I know...

-Does Your Mother Know?

-Uh-huh.

It's the title of one of their songs, Gary.

Now, Jon, the exciting thing about you, Jon,

-you successfully landed your dream job.

-I have, I'm an airline pilot.

-An airline pilot.

-AUDIENCE:

-Whoo!

I'll tell you what, it puts religious education teacher into perspective, doesn't it?

You were all thinking it.

-It wasn't easy for you, was it?

-No, no.

I've had a lot of jobs getting there.

So I've been a healthcare assistant, physiotherapist...

What is a healthcare assistant?

It's helping out on the ward, assisting the patients, helping nurses...

With no medical knowledge whatsoever.

"I'm just here, really, making up the numbers, you know.

"I can help you carry things, but to be very honest with you,

"I don't know the first thing about medicine.

"Anyway, best of luck."

So, we're very lucky to have you here at all, aren't we?

Because this man has moved around more than anyone I've ever met.

Give us a taste of your movements over the years.

Ooh, I've lived in about 16, 17 different houses

over three countries.

-And the furthest was...?

-New Zealand.

-You've lived in New Zealand. Pakistan.

-Pakistan, yeah.

-And where are you now?

-High Wycombe.

You never lose that wandering spirit, do you?

Ladies and gentlemen, Hayley and Jon.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, now, here's how the show is going to work, OK?

I'm going to ask you some questions about life in the UK. You come up with the answers.

Our celebrity panel, they're going to help you,

they're going to write down what they think the answer might be.

You don't have to take anything they say, you can go your own way.

Whoever does the best will go through to the final with a chance to win a prize. OK?

Right, you get your thinking caps on,

let's take a look at the first question. It's for Hayley.

There it is.

Our panel, you get writing. You get thinking, start jotting it down.

Mrs Brydon and I, we argue about the same things

we argue about at home, we're just in swimwear.

All right, now then.

Russell Grant says...

-Money. The lack of it, the spending of it?

-General money.

Money is the root of all evil.

No, sir, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.

-Am I right, religious person?

-No, no, you're right, yep.

-Well done.

-Rachel Riley.

-Holidays, where do you holiday?

-Holiday?

-Wherever I can get.

-A beach holiday?

-A beach holiday?

-Hawaii's pretty nice.

-I picture you lying on a Hawaiian beach...

-Yeah?

-Towel, towel, consonant, towel.

-What...?

-Nice.

Bing!

What's the most common cause of couples arguing on holiday?

And Rachel Riley says...

-Ap-Ap... What do you say, Rachel?

-Applying sun cream.

You're good with numbers, but your handwriting is appalling.

-Apples? Something to do with apples?

-Applying sun cream.

Oh, applying sun cream, sorry, sorry.

So, the wife's saying, "Can you do my back?"

Yeah, and you just want to, you know, be asleep or relax with...

you know, a cocktail, and they're like, "Can you put some more cream on?"

-Oh.

-That kind of thing.

-You don't like that, do you?

-No, I'm quite lazy, I just want to be asleep in the sun.

-What I call selfish.

-Warwick, what sort of holidays do you go on?

-Caravanning holidays.

-Caravanning?

-Yeah.

-So you like an active holiday?

-Yeah, well...

You don't like to just lose yourself in a book?

LAUGHTER

You asked for it, fella. You asked for it.

I was happy to call a truce, I told you that,

and you came back with more. Now, what does Warwick say?

Beach or bar. So, in other words, what to do.

Exactly, couples argue over, you know, where they want to be.

The wife probably wants to be on the beach, the husband, the bar.

You favour the bar, you're what I call a heavy drinker, aren't you?

What?

I'm-I'm not saying it's a problem.

-Should I say it before you do?

-Yes.

I only drink shorts.

Now, Gary Lineker, look at this man.

Can I just say, your autobiography, we went on holiday last time,

very long flight, I took your autobiography, fantastic.

Cos I can't normally sleep on a plane, it was... It was...

-No, there was something in it, Gary.

-That's... That's good.

-Did you write it yourself?

-I-I-I haven't done one, so obviously not, no.

Well. You know what that sound is, don't you?

-Yeah.

-One of our writers being dropped from a great height.

Gary Lineker says arguing on holiday, they argue about...

Wearing each other's swimwear.

-Can I explain?

-I think you should explain.

I thought you said what YOU did on holiday.

-What caused most arguments for when YOU go on holiday.

-Me?

So what you're saying, just to be clear,

I'm known in the business for my cross-dressing,

which my wife endorses?

And you think the short jokes are bad?!

-Right, Lancashire lass.

-Mm.

Award-winning actress, of course.

Little Voice, what a wonderful film that was, who saw that?

-Yes.

-APPLAUSE

Would you treat us to your lovely Shirley Bassey

and we could create some vocal magic together, would you do that? Would she do that?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-Come on, Jane. Come on!

Oh! Anything you like, Jane, what are you going to do for us?

# The minute you walked in the joint

# I could see you were a man of distinction

# A real big spender

-# Good...

-Good-looking, so refined

# I can tell... #

-Oh, I've lost the words!

-She's forgotten the words!

# I don't pop my cork for every guy I see

# Hey, big spender... #

-IMPERSONATES TOM JONES:

-"Huh! Oh!"

"I like the tone of your voice.

"Huh. If you were on my team... Hmmph.

"You could help me out of the chair."

All right. Now then, let's take a look at Jane Horrocks' answer.

What do couples argue about most on holiday? Jane Horrocks says...

Yes, map reading, that's a very good one. Right, put all the answers up.

There's your guess list. Now, Hayley.

What about you, when you're on holiday?

I think I have to agree with Warwick,

I think we definitely squabble over what to do.

I like to lie there reading a book, but other people like to go

-and do things.

-Mm, not everyone loves the Bible every minute of the day.

That's true, that's true. Indeed.

"Love, please, enough with Proverbs!

"Put it down."

All right, Hayley.

So, what is the commonest cause of couples arguing on holiday?

You say...

-What they're going to do.

-What they're going to do.

The actual answer is...

-Ooh!

-HAYLEY: Ah!

Men ogling other women on the beach.

Gary, I've seen photos of you on the beach with your wife,

I bet men are staring all the time.

And I know what they're thinking, "Why is she with him?"

Danielle is there, silently mouthing to passers-by...

HE MOUTHS

-So, Hayley, no points for you there, I'm afraid.

-Oh, well.

Jon, you're up next. Let's take a look at your question.

So the worst feature of a man? You start writing now, celebrities.

I'll tell you what they find attractive -

a powerful, commanding chin.

LAUGHTER

Yeah? Right.

Coming to you first, Russell. You knew that already.

What did 46% of...? Oh, I've seen what Jane Horrocks has written.

I'm going to get you to say that one out loud in a minute.

46% of women say they found what...?

Russell Grant says...

Smelly, like BO.

-Smelly.

-Mm.

So men not having a good...

Yeah, halitosis, smells, anything that's vile and horrible.

-You know, bad breath, of course...

-That's halitosis.

Well, thank you, Professor Grant(!)

-I spend a lot of my time now with Rachel Riley...

-What are you trying to say?!

I'm not saying you've got halitosis, I meant I know what the word means.

-I think rudeness can be very upsetting, can't it, Rachel?

-Stop stirring.

When a man just... When a man just insults you.

We had an agreement backstage, all the crew,

we weren't going to mention your breath.

OK, so, 46% of women, the most unattractive thing in a man.

Rachel Riley says...

Hairy back? Have you in your time encountered men with hairy backs?

Well, you know when you're on the beach and you're not ogling

women, but you see the men that are just kind of gorilla-y?

That's just horrible, isn't it?

-You couldn't love a man with a hairy back?

-Not in that way.

LAUGHTER

Well, in what way could you love him?

What, if he let you comb him every afternoon, you might enjoy that?

All right, hairy back. Now then, Warwick.

What does Warwick's wife love most about you physically,

not what she doesn't, what does she like about you the most?

-Erm...

-Don't say that.

-Everything, she likes everything about me.

-She likes the whole package.

-The whole package, that's what I deliver.

-As do we all.

We all love the package, yes, we do.

Yes.

-Again... What are you doing?

-Nothing, nothing. All right, so.

And Warwick Davis says...

-Their feet.

-Yeah.

Women don't like men's feet?

Well, I'd imagine there's some men with weird feet.

Your feet can be neglected, can't they?

-Oh, yeah, cos they're a long way away. Well, not for me.

-Not so much for you.

-Ah!

That was... That was a race to get in there!

Now, Gary Lineker. A lot of women...find the...

A lot of women find the ability to cook very attractive.

-Now, Gary Lineker in the kitchen... Can you cook?

-Not very good.

-You tried once.

-I do try.

-You tried a big Christmas lunch.

-I...

Yes, I did.

Share your humiliation with our friends.

-Well, I, you know, do as you do, you put the turkey in, don't you?

-Mm.

And then you wait for a while before you...

Maybe add the spuds, don't you?

Three hours or something you go back, see how the turkey's doing

and...took it out to just...turn it round a little bit and it was...

I hadn't switched the oven on.

LAUGHTER

-Now, you may laugh...

-It's true.

-No, you may, you may laugh.

I can understand that, you know, you've put it in,

you come back after say an hour, you look in,

you see something golden-brown and crispy,

you think it's happening, it's your reflection!

What did 46% of women say they found physically

unattractive in a man, Gary Lineker says...

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

-No, nonsense.

You're being self-deprecating again, aren't you?

-Well, what're you trying to say?

-Cos... Look how small my ears are...

-Yeah, they're tiny.

-Look. Look, look.

The two of us together, look at that, look at that.

This is like Sesame Street.

# One of these things is not like the other. #

-Jane Horrocks. Jane Horrocks.

-Oh!

Before we get on to your attempt to bring down the BBC...

..I'm told you once had a sex scene in a film

in which you were head to toe in chocolate.

That's a very avant-garde production of Willy Wonka.

A bit FLAKY, was it over in a WHISPER?

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

-Did he push your CHOCOLATE BUTTONS?

I bet you REVELLED in it.

Did you keep your SNICKERS on?

Yeah, yeah. These are quality gags, quality gags.

QUALITY STREET gags.

You've had your bit... when I was there.

I'm now with one of our finest actresses.

I'm so sorry, Jane.

Jane, in bed, were you a real MALTESER?

No-No-No, I'll get one in a minute, hang on.

Did he have his MILKY WAY with you?

Come on, come on.

So, Jane. Jane, Jane, Jane. There's no getting away from it, is there?

In a recent survey, what did 46% of women say

they found most physically unattractive in a man?

Smelly balls.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

You know what? He thought tonight...

-"I held you in such high esteem."

-Bit of a whiff.

LAUGHTER

You're right!

Do I have to change my answer?

LAUGHTER

Thank you, Jane Horrocks.

Let's look at all those lovely, cultured,

intelligent answers together.

Right, Jon.

There's your list of profanities.

That's the Guess List. What are you thinking?

I was thinking possibly hairy back,

but I'm going to go with pot belly.

-Pot belly?

-Yeah.

Well, that didn't even come up from our celebrities.

-So you're going to say a pot belly.

-Yeah.

All right, let's see if you're right.

What do women find most physically unattractive in a man?

The answer is...

LAUGHTER

-Man boobs!

-So close!

-Man boobs.

Oh, Russell, I'm sorry.

LAUGHTER

But I haven't got smelly balls.

LAUGHTER

Neither have I!

LAUGHTER

He says I have them. There is no proof!

Anyway, I've been stood here all night.

LAUGHTER

Tell them. Please.

-Of course you don't, Rob.

-Thank you.

Jon, you're wrong. Hayley, your chance.

Let's take a look at your question. Hayley's question is...

Celebrities, start writing.

-Are you a mother?

-Yeah, I've got a five-month-old daughter.

-Just five months!

-Yeah. Yeah.

I immediately looked at your stomach and you've got your figure back.

I did. I...

I honestly did, and I thought, "She's noticed, so I better

"front up and just admit it." And I can report she's looking wonderful.

LAUGHTER

So, how do mothers discipline? The naughty step, of course.

Yes, works well in our house.

When Mrs Brydon wants to discipline the children,

that's where I go and hide.

I say "our children" - I've no proof.

LAUGHTER

Russell Grant, man who put the "horror" in "horoscope".

Which is the most common phrase used by British mums

when disciplining their kids? Russell Grant says...

LAUGHTER

SLIGHT APPLAUSE

No, no, don't applaud that. No, no, no.

How much imagination has gone into that?

LAUGHTER

Rachel, what do you think is the most common phrase

used by British mums when disciplining their children?

Rachel says...

I thought it was twofold. It was a message to you as well as an answer.

LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING

APPLAUSE

Where is Carol Vorderman when you need her?

LAUGHTER

Right. What's the phrase most commonly used by British mothers

when disciplining their children? Warwick Davis says...

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

-Would you like to apologise to the public?

-I think it's...

You've got to rap with the...

I mean, "Stop it", that's not going to cut it with today's kids.

-You got to... "I'll kick your ass!"

-All these are...

"No, I'm not doing it any more. Won't do it any more."

LAUGHTER

Gary Lineker. People want your opinion, don't they, on sport?

Imagine if I was asking you about tonight's show.

HE IMITATES MARK LAWRENSON

LAUGHTER

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-It's been a very sloppy show, Gary, hasn't it?

All of these celebrities.

I mean, how would you rate Grant, for example, Russell Grant?

He's all over the place.

LAUGHTER

Can I just say, that is the best Mark Lawrenson impression.

Thank you very much, thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.

So...

I'm told you've not played football since you stopped playing football.

No...

LAUGHTER

That would be true.

You've not played football at all

since you stopped playing professionally.

-Professionally, yeah.

-So, what state do you think your skills are at?

Probably at the same level as they were when I played. Non-existent.

-Hang around the goal a little bit.

-He's so self-deprecating.

I mean, you were no Pele, but you were all right!

-Tell you what...

-I'll take that!

Tell you what. Look what I've got, Gary.

-APPLAUSE

-Come on, big man.

Come on, come and join me. Come on. Come on, come on.

Have you heard of keepie-uppies?

-LAUGHTER

-Yes.

Now, for any Welsh people watching, what it is, you've got to keep...

What you've got to do... That's going out. What you've got to do...

-LAUGHTER

-You've got to...

Oh, good God! You've got to keep the ball up in the air, OK?

Watch this. Watch this.

-LAUGHTER

-Shut up!

MORE LAUGHTER

AUDIENCE: Oh!

-OK, OK. I think that was five.

-APPLAUSE

-How many is that?

-Five. Pretty good.

-Can I just say,

-I'm staggered!

-LAUGHTER

OK, Gary Lineker. Gary Lineker.

-OK.

-AUDIENCE: Oh!

-APPLAUSE

-Yeah, all right. That's all we've got time for.

-APPLAUSE

-Sit down, man. Sit down!

Blimey!

Wow! That was better than I was expecting. Well done.

Let's have a look at your answer, then.

Gary says the most commonly used phrase from British mums

when disciplining their kids is:

-Could you read that for us, Gary?

-LAUGHTER

It's supposed to say, "Do that again and you'll be on the naughty step."

So, the threat of the naughty step. All right. And, oh, Jane.

Thank you for bringing some style and dignity. Is this what you say?

No. LAUGHTER

-This is what irritates me.

-Oh.

Let's take a look at what Jane says.

The most commonly used phrase when disciplining children is:

-"Please don't do that, darling!"

-LAUGHTER

-What's your approach, then?

-Same as Warwick's!

-LAUGHTER

-All right.

Let's take a look at all the answers.

Now then, there is your Guess List, Hayley.

I do like the naughty step

but I think I'm actually going to go for, "This is your final warning."

Remember, you don't have to choose any of those. You can have your own.

Yeah. I'll go for mine, "This is your final warning."

All right. That's what Hayley's saying. Let's see if you're right.

What is the most common phrase used to discipline kids?

-You two are useless!

-LAUGHTER

"Ask your father", of course, is a very popular response.

Especially if the question is, "Who got the nanny pregnant?"

-LAUGHTER AND GROANS

-Hayley...

-Is this a coach party of nannies?

-LAUGHTER

Hayley, no points for you there, I'm afraid.

But what we can do is give you the opportunity to extend

the hand of friendship to one of our panel

because you have a curious connection, don't you?

-I do.

-Who is it with?

-Gary.

LAUGHTER

Gary. Little Ivy is five months old.

We thought this would be the perfect opportunity

for you to meet this girl.

What's the connection?

It's more of an apology from my mother-in-law.

-What the hell have you been doing?

-LAUGHTER

-It gets worse!

-You sit there

with that butter-wouldn't-melt smile on your face!

A few years ago, they were on holiday in the Canaries

and she's a big fan of yours and they saw you drop ten euros

and she thought...picked it up and thought it'd be a good opportunity

to meet you but she decided instead to take the money

and buy a round of drinks. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I know!

Not good!

Have you any idea how much sleep I've lost over that?

LAUGHTER I'll let her know.

I think you'd rather have heard you fathered a child!

Right, next question, Jon, is for you. Here it is:

-LAUGHTER

-Start writing. Start thinking.

A woman's most annoying habit.

Jon, could it be that relentless psychological

-undermining of our masculinity?

-LAUGHTER

Just a thought. Right.

Once again, Russell, I feel you're a passenger in this round.

LAUGHTER

A woman's most annoying habit.

-The authority, Russell Grant.

-HE GIGGLES

-Yes.

-Russell Grant says:

Late cos of getting ready.

-The women taking too long.

-Make-up.

-Wanting to wear clothes.

-Yeah.

All that.

Rachel Riley.

Very good with numbers, though she didn't want mine.

LAUGHTER

Rachel says:

-Always being right.

-APPLAUSE

-There you go. Thank you.

-The woman always being right.

-Warwick?

-Yes.

What is a woman's most annoying feature,

-do you think men would say, Warwick?

-Well, I think it's talking.

You think it's talking. Let's have a look.

-LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-No, don't hate him. Don't hate him.

-This isn't what YOU think. This is what you think men think.

-Exactly.

This isn't what I think personally. No, no. Absolutely, ladies.

What do you think personally?

-You were saying the other day to me, you were saying equal rights.

-Was I?

That's what you hate most about women.

What was it about they should never have been given the vote?

Do you remember? You don't. You had been drinking heavily.

Surely you remember.

All right, OK. So, Warwick says talking.

Warwick says talking. Down to Mr Lineker.

Twitter, Gary. One of my favourite...

Twittering...Twittering, Twittering, tweeting...

-I got twatted today.

-LAUGHTER

-Do you mind if I read a few of yours out?

-Go on, then.

This is from Gary Lineker.

"The World Cup is every four years

"so it's going to be a perennial problem."

-LAUGHTER

-Very good.

"If somebody in the crowd spits at you, you've got to swallow it."

AUDIENCE GROANS

And my favourite, writing about Wimbledon last year Gary said,

"Beautiful summer's day and a huge semi.

-"It doesn't get much better."

-LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Very funny. Very funny.

What do you think, Gary,

men consider to be women's most annoying habit?

-I think they would have probably gone with breathing.

-Breathing?

AUDIENCE GASPS

-Not me! Not me!

-You are witnessing how a crowd can turn.

Hayley, it's reminiscent of that scene with Barabbas, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Jane, what do men say is a woman's most annoying habit?

Jane Horrocks says:

LAUGHTER

Going on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Let's take a look at all those answers together.

That's the Guess List, Jon.

It's a ramshackle collection at best, isn't it?

Of course, you don't have to go with any of those

and I kind of recommend you didn't. You can come up with your own.

See, I think it's just time getting ready.

Let's see if you were right, then.

What do men say is a woman's most annoying habit? The answer is:

-AUDIENCE GROAN

-Oh.

Saying "I'm fine" when they're not.

Peculiar one to have.

Other annoying habits,

according to men in the survey, were women talking too much. Yes.

Constantly asking what men are thinking

-and winning arguments by crying.

-LAUGHTER

-So, Jon.

-Yeah.

-Nil points.

We've reached that part of the show were we check out the score

-to see...

-LAUGHTER

..who's going to be playing for the prize.

-Let's have a look.

-LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Well played, well played.

Well, I hope you're proud. We're going to have a tie-break.

One question for both of you, OK. It's a number question.

The answer will be a number. Want you to write it down.

Whoever's closest will win and go through to the final for a prize.

OK. Let's take a look at the question.

Put Gary's experiences to one side here.

OK. Have a little think.

You've got your answers down. Let's take a look at what you're saying.

Jon says three, Hayley says four. Very low.

Let's take a look and see who's closest. The actual answer is...

Four! Hayley is spot on! Yay!

APPLAUSE

Sadly, we have to say goodbye to you, Jon.

It's been lovely having you on. Thanks very much.

Hayley, you're going through to the final.

APPLAUSE

-All right, Hayley. You are in the final.

-Yes!

-This is exciting.

-It is!

-Never has anyone deserved it less.

-LAUGHTER

-One more question for you to face.

Once again, the answer is a number.

Now, the panel are going to give their guesses,

OK, just to give you a feel for the question, all right?

And now that I feel that I've got to know you,

I've got the perfect prize for you.

Tonight you're playing for an all-expenses-paid trip

for you and your husband to the ABBA Museum in Stockholm.

APPLAUSE

Amazing!

It's what we all dream of.

You will be able to relive the days of your very poorly received

ABBA tribute act.

All right. Now then. Let's take a look at that final question.

Here it is.

This is what standing between you

and looking at some clothes that were once worn by ABBA.

Have a little think about that.

Celebrities, just start writing it down. OK.

First of all, we'll see what our panel thinks

but then I'm going to make it really easy for you

and I'm going to give you two choices.

The right answer and a wrong answer. 50-50.

Now, Russell.

Russell thinks the percentage of men who go to work without washing...

76? Good Lord, Russell!

All right, OK.

Rachel Riley thinks it's...

-Thank you, Rachel.

-I know a lot of clean men. They all wash.

I was going to go lower

but there's actually a boy in the audience that's going, "65%!"

He made me go up but obviously,

there's a very dirty boy in the audience.

-LAUGHTER

-You've just made his day, Rachel!

LAUGHTER

Warwick thinks the percentage is...

40%.

Gary Lineker thinks that the percentage of men

who go to work without washing is...

31%. And Jane Horrocks...

-Remember, Jane specialises in...

-LAUGHTER

Jane says...

40%. OK. There we go.

Bear those in mind but here are your two choices.

It's either:

That's tricky. What are you thinking?

I want you to win this so take your time.

Well, I don't want to believe it's 5%

and I guess 24 is closer to what everyone else has gone.

Most of the men I know do wash, I think.

You smell beautiful. LAUGHTER

-Hayley, what are you going to say?

-I'll go for...

I don't know now! LAUGHTER

-58%.

-58%. That's a lot of smelly men.

-That is a lot of smelly men.

-Hayley is saying 58%.

I really hope you're right because after all, The Winner Takes It All.

AUDIENCE GROANS

The actual answer is...

-Yay!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic! You've done it! Well done, Hayley.

You've won the all-expenses-paid trip for you and your husband

to the ABBA Museum in Stockholm.

That's all for tonight. Well done to Hayley.

Thanks to our panel of stars -

Russell Grant, Rachel Riley, Warwick Davis,

-Gary Lineker and Jane Horrocks.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you for watching and good night.