Christmas The Really Welsh Quiz

Hello, I'm Chris Corcoran.

We're all getting incredibly excited about the biggest event of the year.

It's The Really Welsh Christmas Quiz.

Yes, this is a quiz that'll be much like Christmas Day,

we've got some visitors, some festive decorations

and we'll be aiming to get to the end of it

without someone having a fight or saying something offensive.

So we'll be asking questions about Christmas, Wales,

Christmas in Wales, a Welsh Christmas, you get the general idea.

It's time to meet our teams and, on our programme tonight,

our first captain of team one is Mr Elis James.

Hello.

I couldn't work out whether you were sort of a bah-humbug-y sort of person

or whether you were a cry-at-a-John-Lewis-film...

-Oh, I love it.

-Do you love a Christmas?

-I love Christmas.

Because you can't forget it or get it wrong, can you?

Always the same day every year.

Because, obviously, Easter changes, you know? Is it late, is it early?

And also, with my birthday, I'm very bad at organising things,

so there've been a couple of wash-outs.

A few years ago, I sent an e-mail out on the day

and ended up having a drink

with my sister's ex

and my landlord so...

But, Christmas, everyone else does the organising on my behalf

so I love it.

And I think, judging by your team and their attire, they might love it too.

Who have you got on your team?

It gives me pleasure to announce that, on my team tonight,

I've got actress, singer, presenter Connie Fisher

and also TV presenter Matt Johnson.

And our other captain

is Mr Miles Jupp.

-You've just moved to Wales, of course.

-I have.

-How's it going?

-How was the move itself?

-Yeah.

It went quite well except...

I got it all sorted. We left the house nice and early,

all the children in the back of the car, all was going fine

and then, just on the... West of London,

I put 27 litres of petrol

-into my diesel car.

-Oh!

Which set things back slightly

but, as ever, I was very calm about the whole thing.

I just thought, "This is one of those days when, you know,

"you've put 27 litres of petrol in your people carrier

"that contains five young children

"who you're taking away from all their friends for the first time.

"Let's just roll with it."

So it didn't get off to the best of starts

but everything turned up a few days later.

-Everything's been, you know...

-Well, you made it.

-We made it.

Nothing got broken by the removals men.

This'll be your first Welsh Christmas.

Expecting anything to be different?

I just think it will be...

I think it will just feel incredibly Welsh.

I'm sure...

What do you associate with the Welsh, Miles?

Well, the birth of Jesus.

In fact, the whole Christ story, yeah.

I think they were all... Maybe the audio book I had of it

when I was little was read by a Welsh actor

so that's just been imbued with that

but I think pretty much everyone in the Bible's Welsh, aren't they?

-Certainly on our audio tapes.

-Isn't Bethlehem in Carmarthenshire?

You can go there to post your Christmas cards

if you're that sort of person.

I'm often looking for ways to fill the day so...

Five hour round-trip to get a good postmark? Definitely.

Mr Miles Jupp, perhaps you'd like to introduce your team.

Well, I'm very fortunate to be joined

by singer and actress Lucie Jones

and stand-up comedian Omar Hamdi.

OK, so we're onto the first round of the quiz.

This is a round about Christmas tradition so fingers on the buzzers.

OK, here we go.

So put these traditions in the order

they first became established in the UK.

Christmas crackers, Christmas trees, Christmas cards.

BUZZ

-Miles Jupp.

-I reckon first there was Christmas cards.

OK, I'm going to say cards, trees, crackers.

Oh, no.

BUZZ Matt Johnson.

I'm going to say trees, cards, crackers.

-And you'd be correct.

-Boom.

Yes, contrary to popular belief,

Prince Albert didn't introduce the Christmas tree.

He is credited with making them popular in 1841.

Christmas cards in 1843 and crackers in 1847.

-It all happened in the 1840s, Christmas.

-Well, big decade.

Christmas cards were invented in 1843 by Sir Henry Cole

who was very much the Funky Pigeon of his day.

Does anyone know what was on the first Christmas card?

BUZZ Elis James.

Hopefully, this is going to catch on.

It should have been. It should have been.

This isn't as good. Have a look at your screens.

This is what was on the first Christmas card.

It depicts three generations of a family

including, if you look really closely,

a small child being forced to drink wine.

Are they from Caerphilly?

-Yeah!

-That's my upbringing.

-That's my childhood in one picture.

-That is you.

-That is actually me.

Yeah, that's it, that was the first Christmas card.

It just does go to prove, though, that Christmas really is Welsh.

-We invented Christmas.

-Huge underage drinking going on,

awful fashion sense. No, I'm joking.

Question two. Here we go.

Listen to this quote and buzz in

if you know which famous book it is from.

BUZZ Miles Jupp.

Is it the Bible?

-No.

-Oh, I'm out of guesses.

Yeah, OK. I'll give you the quote. Ready?

I can never remember whether it snowed

for six days and six nights when I was 12

or whether it snowed for 12 days and 12 nights when I was six.

BUZZ Elis James.

A Child's Christmas in Wales.

-By who?

-Dylan Thomas.

-Yes, it is.

-Oh, yes!

-Nailed it.

-I was born to succeed at this quiz!

What I like about this is that your competitiveness

-is now starting to kick in.

-Yes!

OK, next question.

Watch this clip from the BBC archives.

What was the toy and what was the year?

And I've cut out the base

and then cut it in half. Painted it again grey.

BUZZ Elis James.

It's the home-made Blue Peter Tracy Island,

that was hugely successful

and people couldn't buy Fairy liquid in shops and stuff

because it was selling out and that is Anthea Turner.

Mate, not only have you got the answer

and got the answer to my follow-up question,

you've also named the presenter from her hands.

That's incredible.

Absolutely incredible.

Yeah, the huge demand for Tracy Island, the proper toy,

meant that it all sold out so, in the New Year,

Blue Peter did a make-your-own

and, as you can tell, no difference. No difference between the two.

Any kid that got that would have been delighted, wouldn't they?

-Absolutely chuffed to bits.

-Did you make it, Elis?

No. I was slightly too old. I observed the making of it.

What a life and none of it wasted.

He got the answer right, didn't he? Be fair.

Very impressive. Very impressive.

Yes, this is from way back in 1993.

Well done, Elis James.

When Anthea Turner showed the nation how to make their own Tracy Island.

Tracey Island was, of course, famous for being home to the Thunderbirds

and more recently has been used as an offshore tax haven

by Gary Barlow.

This was much more so successful than an earlier show

in which John Noakes showed children how to make their own Barry Island.

Very, very tricky to make a log flume out of a yoghurt pot, apparently.

That was a clip from children's TV series Blue Peter

but which of our contestants

has also featured in a long-running children's TV series?

Miles Jupp, you can't answer.

BUZZ Connie Fisher.

-Is it Miles Jupp?

-It might be.

Let's have a little look at a clip.

# What's the story in Balamory?

# Wouldn't you like to know?

# What's the story in Balamory?

# Where would you like to go? #

I got the idea from watching elephants on the television.

They were sucking up water through their trunks

and then squirting it out all over themselves to keep cool.

If the children take one of these on holiday,

they'll be able to have sprinkly water...

..and cool air...

..whenever they need it.

That way they'll be able to spend all day in the sun

without getting hot and bothered.

Ladies and gentlemen, it was Mr Miles Jupp.

Right, here we go. So, Mr Miles Jupp, what was the name of your character?

-He was called Archie the Inventor.

-And tell us how you got the part.

I went to an audition, which was the morning after doing a programme

we used to do on BBC Scotland called the Live Floor Show

that I used to do with Frankie Boyle

and The Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe III

and, the next morning, I was showing how to make a mobile

using paper plates and coat hangers.

-Yeah, I just...

-And you nailed it.

-Well, I don't know.

If you look at the end result,

perhaps they wish they'd cast it another way

but for whatever reason I did.

I can remember lots of it but what we just saw

I might as well have been watching for the first time.

I wanted to know how it worked and what it was.

-That's how people sort of describe the '60s.

-Yeah. Oh, yeah.

If you can remember Balamory, I don't think you were in it.

-Yeah, no.

-You weren't there, man!

Have you got any clips of me being in a Michael Winterbottom film

-to balance it out or is it just...

-No, no, that's pretty much it.

-That's it. Fair enough. OK.

-I did CBeebies as well.

We need to look at a clip of me doing Doodle Do apparently, so here we are.

-All right, Doodle Do-ers.

-Yeah!

How's it going?

-That's really feathery.

-Do you think it's all right?

Yeah. Oh, but Chris!

-What? What?

-Chris, he can't see!

Well, of course he can't see because he hasn't got any...

-BOTH:

-Eyes!

-Eyes.

All right, so what are we going to use for the eyes

out of orange tissue paper and black stickers?

-Stickers!

-Well done, Stick.

-Thank you.

There we go. Now, look!

How much does that look like a little chicken?

Yep, there it is.

The best thing is, if you round to Corky's house,

that clip is just on a permanent loop

on about five different tellies.

Yeah, and that little chicken is in a frame. Yeah.

Doodle Don't.

Right, here's the next question.

What do Charlie Chaplin, WC Fields,

James Brown, Eartha Kitt,

Dean Martin and Nicolae Ceausescu all have in common?

BUZZ Miles Jupp.

Did they all die on Christmas day?

-They did.

-Oh, wow!

They all died on Christmas day.

Nicolae Ceausescu was actually executed on Christmas Day

along with his wife.

Yeah, that's the magic of Christmas right there.

I was almost right.

I thought, "Was Dean Martin executed on Christmas Day?

"I don't remember that."

Eartha Kitt died on Christmas Day but can you name a famous Christmas song

sung by her originally that has been covered by...

BUZZ

..our own Katherine Jenkins? That's Miles Jupp.

Is it Santa Baby?

It is Santa Baby.

In verse one of the song, Eartha asks Santa for a yacht.

In verse two, a ring and, in verse three, the deeds to a platinum mine.

Verse four, however, was cut out of the radio edit

as it was Eartha's foul-mouthed response

to what she actually received

which was a five pound book token.

So lots of famous people died on Christmas Day

which is a bit bleak so we tried to find someone famous

who was born on Christmas Day.

Did a bit of research.

Couldn't find anyone.

So that's the end of Round One

and I can tell you that

Elis's team is in the lead.

THEY CHEER

OK, on to Round Two.

Our next round, we are going to start with a question for Elis's team.

Who are these celebrity Santas? There's your first one.

-It's a woman.

-Yes.

BUZZ Matt Johnson.

-Sian Lloyd?

-Oh, I know.

-No.

-Is it Tanni Grey-Thompson?

-Oh, that is a...

Shall we have a look? Shall we see if you're right?

THEY CHEER

Whoa! Connie Fisher!

I've got my X-ray eyes on.

Can see through things with these on.

Well, it's same teams so, El, Connie and Matt,

have a little look at this one. Who's this?

BUZZ Elis James.

That is Joe Calzaghe.

Shall we have a look?

Wow.

And your final team question, Elis James.

Who is this person?

-Oh, oh, no.

-Oh, dear.

El, already it's embarrassing that you don't recognise who this is.

-Oh, oh, oh. It's a comedian.

-Yes.

-It's a comedian, it's Josh...

Josh what's his face.

It's not, is it? Is it Josh Widdicombe?

Shall we have a look?

It is Josh! No.

THEY CHEER

It is Josh Widdicombe.

And would you like explain why that's a bit embarrassing, Elis James?

He's one of my best friends.

And I'm in a sitcom with him, and I looked at those eyes, you know,

obviously, with the Santa beard,

and I thought, "Well, he's about 70, that bloke."

My friend Mike says that he looks like a pub dog,

which I think is quite a sort of accurate...

Well, you can make your own mind up as we have a little look at a clip.

-Do you know I didn't try black pepper till I was 21?

-Really?

-Yeah.

Oh, I need to got to the shop to top my pay-as-you-go.

-Will you get me a port from the bar?

-Port?

-Yeah.

-Now?

Considering it's the present day?

Yeah, I like the wine gum so I thought I'd try it.

Also, trust me, girls love a fortified wine.

Oh, hello.

A pint for me and a port for my friend who is about to arrive.

Port? Who's your friend?

Isambard Kingdom Brunel?

Yeah, Josh starring Josh Widdecombe and Elis James.

El, you play a character called Owen

who is obsessed with Welsh football and is very successful with women.

-Yes.

-To what extent is this fiction?

-50% of it is true.

-Yeah, which bits?

I think we can all guess which bit is true.

The football shirts.

They're all my own and I get a lot of tweets after the show's gone out

saying, "I don't know who you are but I'll give you 100 quid

"for the Umbro 1990-1992 home shirt as long as you're about my size."

And then I'll always reply and say things like,

"Oh, it's my own shirt. It's not for sale.

"But glad you're enjoying the show." And then they'll say things like,

"I never said I was enjoying the show.

"I just really like the shirt."

I'm sorry about that tweet, by the way.

Right, here we go. Let's give Miles's team a shot, then.

You guys, have a look at your screens.

BUZZ Miles Jupp.

Is it JK Rowling?

-No.

-Oh.

I'll give you a clue. Olympics.

First name - green-blue precious stone.

BUZZ Lucie.

-Jade.

-Yes. Surname?

Give me another clue.

-Very, very Welsh. Most obvious...

-Jones.

-Correct.

-Yes!

-Yeah!

Jade Jones won gold in the London Olympics in the Taekwondo.

There she is.

She wrote the Harry Potter books.

You get another question, you chaps. Who is this person here?

BUZZER

-Lucie?

-Is that Simon Cowell?

-Oh, shall we have a look?

I know those evil eyes anywhere.

APPLAUSE

The most interesting thing about you most recently perhaps

that people might've seen on social media is that you got engaged.

Congratulations! Lucie got engaged. APPLAUSE

What was unusual about it was that Lucie's husband-to-be filmed

the proposal over several months,

starting on day nine of their relationship

and then ending it on day 389,

he basically filmed a little selfie saying, "Will you marry me?"

on every single one of those days and then edited it all together

and then gave her the video on day 390?

Do you know what? It's bad...

-You haven't watched it!

-..I don't remember what day it was.

Do you know his name?

Have you opened the e-mail or was it just in your inbox?

Er, no, it was amazing.

He's so sweet, he's really lovely and, yeah, I'm very happy.

-That's very romantic.

-Yeah, it was.

-Ladies and gentlemen, romantic?

-Yeah. Very romantic.

-Romantic or axe murderer?

Your final one, Miles' team, who's this person?

I'll throw it out, anybody who wants to buzz in on this one.

I'll give you a clue.

BELL Matt Johnson?

Dan Biggar.

Let's have a look, Matt Johnson.

-Yes.

-Yes, it is.

APPLAUSE

Yes, Wales' hero Dan Biggar was known for having one of the longest

and most powerful kicks at this year's Rugby World Cup.

In fact he only missed one kick all tournament

and we've got a picture of it here.

So, Matt, you did quite a lot of presenting with the Rugby World Cup.

You started out doing presenting for BBC Wales,

do you remember your first TV reporting job?

My first ever presenting gig as a reporter was for Sport Wales

and my challenge was to get a Welsh cap in any sport there was

so I chose Australian rules football.

Got into the Welsh squad playing against England,

-things didn't exactly go to plan.

-Let's have a look.

I haven't started so I'll be going on shortly

and I'll be getting my first cap, I'm just raring to go.

'I fell on my knees and I had...

'..one good catch, two good hits,

'on my second hit I just went over on my ankle.'

Matt Johnson ended up in hospital with a fractured ankle

after that tackle so we wish him a speedy recovery.

SLIGHT LAUGHTER

Oh, I'm glad you're all laughing(!)

APPLAUSE

But, yeah, I broke my fibular, dislocated my ankle,

tore all the tendons, broke a lot of bones

and I was in crutches...on crutches for a long time afterwards.

Funny thing was, you looked like you were faking it.

That's what I was laughing at.

It's not the X Factor, I wasn't putting more drama...

-First thing you did was look at the camera and go, "Oh!"

-"Oh!"

No, it was awful.

At the end of that round, ladies and gentlemen,

I'm sure you're really excited to hear which team's winning

and I can reveal that the team that is currently winning is Team Ellis.

APPLAUSE

Right, our next round is a music round

and you're on the buzzers, everybody.

We're going to play you two Christmas songs at the same time.

One of them was a UK number one and one of them wasn't.

I need the names of both songs and which one was the number one.

Let's hear the first one.

-# Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer?

-You know that sweet Santa Claus in on the way

-# Has a tonne upon his sleigh?

-Well, I... #

BELL Ellis James.

-Merry Christmas Everybody by Slade...

-Yeah.

..and I would imagine it was

-I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard...

-Yeah.

..and that was the one that was number one.

-Oh, no, I've got to offer it across.

-Argh!

-That answer but just with the number one the other way round.

-Correct.

APPLAUSE

-Don't clap!

-Nice, Miles!

Let's have a listen. Let's have a listen.

I feel very, very dirty.

# So here it is merry Christmas, everybody's having fun... #

I've never seen you look more disappointed, Elis James.

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day... #

No, he loved it!

Yes, I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday only got to number four

in the charts. Of course if it was actually Christmas everyday,

the economy would grind to a halt and it would be a nightmare but

I wish it could be Christmas a bit more often than once a year,

every fewu...

Oh, sorry.

Argh! Run it again.

But I wish it could be Christmas a bit more often than a year,

every few weeks just isn't quite as catchy.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Don't give him too much credit, he is just reading out loud.

I've been a confident reader for about 30 years now so...

Here's the next one.

And Elis isn't allowed to play.

INSTRUMENTAL SECTIONS PLAY OVER ONE ANOTHER

BELL Matt Johnson.

-It's "Wham!"

-Yes.

-Last Christmas.

-Last Christmas.

-Yes.

And then Robbie Williams with Nicole Kidman and Something Stupid.

Outstanding. Which one was the number one?

I think, er, "Wham!" was number one.

-I've got to hand it over.

-Oh, for crying out loud!

-Something Stupid, Something Stupid was number one.

-Yes, it was, yeah.

So you get the point. Well done, Miles Jupp.

APPLAUSE

Yes, we heard there Last Christmas by "Wham!".

"Wham!" was made up of George Michael

who went on to sell over 80 million records

and Andrew Ridgeley who has over 1,000 points on his Nectar card.

Here's the next two of the mashup.

INSTRUMENTAL SECTIONS PLAY OVER EACH OTHER

BUZZER Lucie.

-I know one of them.

-Yep.

-Can we do them together?

-Yep.

-Is it Killing In The Name?

-Yep.

-That's the one I had.

-By?

-Rage Against The Machine.

-Yes.

And then the other one is Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues.

-Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.

-Well done, which one is the number one?

-Get ready.

-I know this because they beat us to the Christmas number one

and it was supposed to be Joe McElderry with The Climb,

great song, but it was actually Killing In The Name.

-It was.

-Yes.

-Well done. APPLAUSE

Yes, Rage Against The Machine went to number one in 2009

as a protest against The X Factor.

It has the most swear words of any Christmas number one apart from

the unedited version of Cliff Richard's Mistletoe And Wine.

OK, final little mashup, here we go. Get on the buzzers.

-INSTRUMENTAL PLAYS

-# Silly games that you were playing

# Empty words we were both were saying... #

BELL Matt Johnson.

-Robbie Williams, Angels. And Spice Girls, 2 Become 1.

-Amazing.

-Which of them was the number one?

-Spice Girls, 2 Become 1.

-Nailed it.

-Boom!

APPLAUSE

Well done, Matt Johnson.

Yes, 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls reached number one in 1996

and is to date the only number one inspired by the merger

of Cheltenham & Gloucester and the Lloyds TSB.

At the end of that round,

I can reveal that Team Elis is still winning.

CONNIE CHEERS

APPLAUSE

All right, onto the next round of The Really Welsh Christmas Quiz

and I'm going to ask you to choose a Christmas snack which will be

a tenuous link into a question.

So have a look at your screens at the snacks that we're going to offer you.

Choose from mince pies, dates, figs,

a chocolate Santa, Caerphilly cheese and Turkish Delight.

Here we go. Omar, you're first up. Choose a snack, please.

I will choose dates.

-So your question is about dates in the calendar.

-Weyy!

THEY LAUGH

-Here we go. Ready?

-Yeah.

If Christmas Day is the first day of Christmas,

according to the song A Partridge In A Pear Tree,

what would be delivered on January 3rd?

First of all,

we need to work out what number in the days of Christmas that is.

-Well done.

-Ten. Ten.

-Are you already there?

-Ten.

-OK, so it's the tenth.

-Lords a-leaping.

-How many?

-Ten.

-Correct. Yes.

APPLAUSE

Ten lords a-leaping would be delivered on January 3rd

or realistically more likely you'd probably get one

of those little red cards saying

"Sorry you were out, we'll try and deliver your lords tomorrow."

Omar, Welsh comedian, Egyptian comedian, grown up in Wales,

-how was your Christmas?

-It was brilliant.

We love Christmas, we really... In my house, Christmas is a big deal.

-Yeah?

-Cos it means it's six months till Eid, do you get me?

-So you just celebrate...?

-Christmas, six months till Ramadan as well.

Six months to Ramadan, seven months till Eid.

Ramadan's a big deal, you know?

So you would ramp up, you would ramp it up, you'd do every religious...

-I do everything.

-..celebration?

-I just do everything.

At school I was just changing my religion every couple of weeks.

-Greedy!

-Sorry, it's Diwali,

Hanukah, whatever, just do them all.

-Just do them all.

-What do you do at Eid so I can do it in six months?

We buy clothes and we go clubbing cos that's how

Muslims traditionally celebrate.

-That's just how we do it.

-I like it.

-Respect my culture.

That's how we do it.

OK, next question. Connie, same thing, choose a snack.

-Caerphilly cheese.

-OK.

This is a question for you about somewhere fairly close to Caerphilly.

What does the Queen get from Ystrad Mynach every Christmas?

I'll give you a clue, you have them on the Christmas table, they go bang.

-Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Crackers.

-Really?

Yeah, they are made by Tom Smith Crackers

who are based in Ystrad Mynach in the Rhymney Valley

and they have a Royal Warrant

-and the Queen's crackers are designed and made by hand in Wales.

-Oh.

Yes, Christmas crackers were invented in 1847 by Tom Smith and since then

have almost single-handedly supported the miniature screwdriver industry.

LAUGHTER

Lucie, pick a snack.

Chocolate Santa, please.

OK. Take a look at this. Have a look at your screen.

HORNS BLARE

Oh, my God.

-What is this?

-What are they doing?

Is this Black Friday?

LAUGHTER

It's a Santa run. But where in Wales was the first ever Santa run?

BEEPING

Newport!

-BEEPING No.

-Newtown?

-Yes, Omar!

-Yes, bruv!

APPLAUSE

Yes, the answer was Newtown in mid Wales.

Sadly no longer running, that race.

-Oh!

-ALL:

-Awh!

Yes. Matt, choose a snack.

Ooh, erm...

..mince pies.

Mince pies are traditionally left out for Santa on Christmas Eve.

The night before Christmas.

Can you complete this poetic couplet?

"'Twas the night before Christmas,

"when all through the house..."

Ooh!

"Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

-Correct, Connie Fisher.

-Yes!

-Oh, well done.

-Well done, Connie.

-APPLAUSE

The bonus question.

In the poem, Santa Claus arrives and calls his reindeers by name.

What are the names of the eight reindeers?

BELL RINGS Connie Fisher?

Vixen, Prancer, Dancer.

Rudolph's got to be one of them.

-Uh-uh! Rudolph's not one of them.

-Oh!

-I'm handing it over.

-Hang on.

-So you've got, so far,

Dancer, Prancer, Vixen.

-Donner?

-Yeah.

-Blitzen.

-Yeah.

-How many more are there?

-Er, one, two, three.

-Dasher.

-BELL RINGS

Dasher, yeah. Connie Fisher?

-I'm channelling the Rudolph.

-Come on.

Comet.

-Correct.

-Yes!

-And Cupid!

-Yes, it is.

-Whoo!

Connie Fisher. APPLAUSE

Yeah, Dancer, Dasher,

Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

And Rudolph is an American invention from the 1930s.

-And he appears in the song that was written in 1949.

-Oh!

So he's not technically part of Santa's crew.

Can we talk about Cupid?

Cos isn't Cupid the guy who does the bows when people fall in love?

-Yeah.

-And he's also a reindeer?

You'd have time in the year to do both jobs.

LAUGHTER

If you're declaring both sources of income!

Working for Father Christmas, that is basically, that is seasonal work.

LAUGHTER

He's probably on a zero-hours contract.

-There's no love matches over the Christmas period.

-Yeah.

-People fall out, if anything.

-LAUGHTER

Cos he's busy flying away. That's right.

-Because he's dressing as a reindeer.

-Yeah.

-Makes sense.

Miles, choose your snack from the screen, please.

-OK, Turkish delight.

-OK.

You have chosen Turkish delight.

So this is a question about Christmas turkeys.

LAUGHTER

-You meant the country, didn't you? Or did you...?

-Yeah.

-I meant... Yeah.

-Turkeys are the favourite bird

-on the Welsh Christmas table, Miles.

-Uh-huh.

But where do turkeys come from originally?

-Jordan?

-Just say Turkey.

-Turkey?

-Er...

-The sky?

-What?

-England?

No. North America.

Which fictional character in a famous Christmas story

wakes up on Christmas Day and sends a boy to buy a...?

BEEPING Miles Jupp?

Scrooge.

Correct. All teams, just chucking it out there.

Do you like turkey or do you have something different?

Do you have turkey? What do you do?

Team? Let's... Can we confer?

-Yep.

-Shall we have a turkey?

LAUGHTER

-We're having a turkey.

-Can I say, in our house, we have turkey

on Boxing Day, cos it is cheap.

LAUGHTER

Seriously! My mum turns up every Boxing Day,

-MIDDLE EASTERN ACCENT:

-"I got five turkey!

-"It's a bargain! Come on!"

-LAUGHTER

"I love Christmas!

"We put it in freezer for Ramadan!"

-She loves it.

-LAUGHTER

I'm not even making this up for TV.

-I'm...

-LAUGHTER

El, choose a snack.

Er...figs, please.

This is a question about viewing fig-ures.

-Oh, yes.

-LAUGHTER

Morecambe and Wise, in 1977, got 28 million viewers.

EastEnders, in 1986, got 30 million viewers.

In the last 15 years, only one TV programme

has had more than 20 million viewers on Christmas Day in the UK.

Was it... A) Only Fools and Horses

B) Coronation Street

or C) Men Behaving Badly?

Er, in the last 15 years?

-Yep.

-Only Fools and Horses.

-Yep.

-Yes!

-LAUGHTER

-It was Batman and Robin, wasn't it?

-APPLAUSE

-Yeah! Batman and Robin.

-Yeah. 20.3 million in 2001.

Bonus question, in 2014, one programme,

which had been consistently in the top ten on Christmas Day

for the previous 15 years finally made it to the number one spot.

But what was it?

-BEEPING

-The news?

Miles Jupp?

Er, the Queen's Speech?

It was the Queen's Speech.

Yeah.

APPLAUSE

Yeah. The answer is the Queen's Christmas Day message,

which was the most watched Christmas Day programme in 2014.

And so... Ooh! A bit of excitement,

because I can reveal that the two teams

are currently drawing...

-Ooh!

-Uh-oh!

-..in the quiz.

-Yes!

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

We're coming!

Final round. Fingers on the buzzers.

For this round, I'm going to give you a line from a Christmas carol

or a song and you tell me what comes next.

Here we go. First one.

# Hark, the herald angels sing # RINGING

-Connie Fisher?

-# Glory to the newborn king. #

-Correct.

-Smashed it.

Brown paper packages... BEEPING

# Brown paper packages tied up with string.

# These are a few of my favourite things. #

-Correct. Oh! Unlucky, Con.

-Apologies.

# So here it is, Merry Christmas. #

BELL RINGS Connie Fisher?

-Everyone?

-BEEPING

No. Lucie Jones?

# Everybody's having fun. #

-Agh!

-Correct. Slade, Merry Christmas, Everyone.

Hang on, it's the same song?

-SHE SINGS:

-# Merry Christmas... #

-No, it's a different song, babe.

-Oh.

-The whole world...

-ALL SHOUT:

-Whoa!

-No, no...!

-Fight!

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

-IN STRONG WELSH ACCENT:

-Come on. I'm from Pentyrch, all right?

I'll haves ya.

Er...

# Deck the halls... # BUZZER RINGS

Miles Jupp?

La la la la la, la la la la?

No. Connie Fisher? BELL RINGS

-Sorry, what did you sing?

-LAUGHTER

# Deck the halls with boughs of holly... #

# ..fa la la la la, la la la la. #

FA la la la la. GROANING

-Oh, ya...!

-Fa la la la la. Sorry, Miles.

-With perfect pitch as well.

-ALL TALK

-Lovely.

-Full of technicality.

# Christian children all must... #

BUZZER RINGS Miles Jupp?

Christian children all must be mild, obedient, good as He.

Correct. Once in Royal David's City.

# Where the tree tops glist... # BELL RINGS

-Connie Fisher?

-# And...

-TEAM:

-# Children listen...

-# To hear sleigh bells in...

-TEAM:

-# The snow. #

Correct, yes. White Christmas.

Bonus question. When was the last white Christmas in Wales?

BUZZER RINGS

-Miles Jupp?

-2014.

No. BELL RINGS

Matt Johnson?

20...11?

-No. 2004.

-Oh!

How is it defined, by the way?

How is it defined if there's a white Christmas?

-RINGING

-Oh, erm...

-Elis James?

A flake of snow on the roof of TV C...?

-On the...the meteorological office?

-In Wales? In Wales?

-BUZZER RINGS

-Er, BBC's TV Centre...

No. Lucie Jones?

When you can see Santa's footprints...

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

I'm giving you that. Well done.

I've got to put you right, cos, if people at home

hear you say it's Santa's footprint and then it isn't, technically,

people can write in to the BBC and complain.

LAUGHTER

-And I will.

-So... CHRIS LAUGHS

So, no, it's not Santa's footprint, Lucie, no.

It is when a single snowflake falls on the Millennium Stadium.

That's how you know.

If the BBC are looking to make cuts,

I would close down the complaints department.

LAUGHTER

-That would save a bit of money.

-LAUGHTER

2010 was the last Christmas where snow was on the ground in Wales.

There you go.

# Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. #

BELL RINGS Connie Fisher?

# Jack Frost...

# nipping at your...

-# t...

-Nose or toes?

# Toes? #

-No.

-Nose!

-BUZZER RINGS

# Nose! #

-Nose, correct.

-Mother...!

-LAUGHTER

50-50, wasn't it?

# If I were a wise man, I would play...

BUZZER RINGS Miles Jupp?

If I were a wise man, I would play my part.

-HE SINGS FLATLY:

-# But what I can I give Him

-# Give my heart. #

-LAUGHTER

No.

-LAUGHTER

-After all that effort.

-He put so much effort in!

-Here it is, Merry Christmas?

No, it's... Oh, I will give you that.

It's "yet". It's "yet what I have given Him"

-Oh.

-I was being very strict,

but you sang it so beautifully, we will give you the point.

You can't start being strict now.

LAUGHTER

Nah, good point. It's "Yet what I have, I give Him

"give my heart".

In the Bleak Midwinter.

And that's the end of the quiz.

-ALL:

-Awh!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And I can reveal the final score.

And the fairies sitting on top of the tree,

this year are...

..team Miles Jupp.

-No!

-Awh!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Yay! Yeah!

Yes, that's it from Elis, from Connie, Matt, Miles, Lucie, Omar.

And from me, Chris Corcoran.

Join us next time on The Really Welsh New Year Quiz.

But, for now, goodbye and we hope you have a very happy Christmas.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING