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This programme contains strong language. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
'And Seb Coe gets the gold medal...' | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
# There may be trouble ahead | 0:00:09 | 0:00:13 | |
# But while there's moonlight and music | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
# And love and romance | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
# Let's face the music and dance | 0:00:20 | 0:00:25 | |
# Let's face the music and dance. # | 0:00:25 | 0:00:31 | |
I don't care. Well... | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
It's Monday morning. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
Already it's not a good start to the week for Twenty Twelve's Head of Deliverance, Ian Fletcher. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:51 | |
Over the weekend he's run into problems with his wife | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
over the level of his commitment to a recent programme she's drawn up | 0:00:53 | 0:00:57 | |
for him to reconnect with his emotional life. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
That's what you don't seem to... | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
But things are about to get worse. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
Look, I don't care. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
-Morning, Sally. -Oh, hi. Morning. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
-So, we have a giant pile of horse shit on the pavement outside. -Yes. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
-I'm assuming that's not an accident. -They're looking at the CCTV now. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
Apparently it was just there this morning. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
Or if it is, it's an accident of truly epic proportions. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
I pity the horse involved. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
Seb's office have been trying to get hold of you. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:28 | |
Yes, I know. I thought I'd better see the size of it for myself first. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:32 | |
-Just a wild guess - this is the Greenwich Park Separatist Movement, isn't it? -I think that's the idea. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:37 | |
-I think the feeling upstairs is, it might be a better idea if you dealt with it rather than Seb. -Great. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:43 | |
-I think he feels it might be... -That's a much better idea. Great. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
-Do you want a cinnamon Danish whirl with your cappuccino? -Why not? | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
-Live dangerously. -They had fresh ones when I arrived, so I picked one up just in case. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:53 | |
-Great. And if they've got any shit sandwiches, maybe you could pick one of those, too. -Right, oh...sure. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:59 | |
After months of bitter argument, local feeling about the decision | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
to use Greenwich Park as a venue for Equestrian events in 2012 is running high. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:09 | |
Apparently this Ward guy is a bit of a, you know, uh... | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
Well, not a great deal, I know he was thrown out of the last council meeting, so... | 0:02:11 | 0:02:16 | |
Well, apparently he called the Chair of the Planning Committee a useless fatso... | 0:02:16 | 0:02:20 | |
Well, I know, but even so.. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
Absolutely. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Yes, absolutely. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
No, absolutely. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
No, not at all, that's fine. Strategically the last thing we need | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
is for you to be wading knee deep in... | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Absolutely, not at all, not in the least... | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
'The strategy is to keep this as low key as possible. The press will no doubt get hold of it,' | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
they love this kind of thing, but it makes sense to keep Seb out of it. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:44 | |
-So that's all good. -But how do feel about that? -That's great. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
-You don't feel you've been dumped in the...? -No. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
-I know what you want me to say, and I'm not going to say it. -OK. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
It's not the Monday morning I was hoping for, particularly after this weekend. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
-But no, it's all good. -So what happened at the weekend? | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
I don't think we really need to talk about that, do we? | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
-Well... -I'm not sure what there is to say about a 48-hour stony silence. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
-DOG BARKS -Come on, there we go. Leave it, leave it! | 0:03:06 | 0:03:11 | |
Go on, go on, Otis, go on. Where's it gone? | 0:03:12 | 0:03:16 | |
Tony Ward is no stranger either to controversy or to cameras. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:20 | |
That's great, that's very real. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
Today, it may be a BBC London News team. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
But 30 years ago, in 1979, he won a BAFTA for his film Intravenous, | 0:03:25 | 0:03:31 | |
which has since gone on to achieve near cult status amongst those who saw it. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
-Maybe you could just do that one more time. -No, I think that's enough now for now, for fuck's sake. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:40 | |
After the success of Intravenous, Ward had a spell in Hollywood | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
where he made almost two other films in the 1980s before eventually returning to London | 0:03:43 | 0:03:48 | |
to make a series of commercially less successful, but highly personal marriages. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:53 | |
His house has overlooked Greenwich Park ever since | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
and last year he became sole founder of the Greenwich Anti-Equine League. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
The horse lobby are a bunch of fucking tossers... | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
Since Greenwich was chosen as the venue for equestrian events, | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
he feels he has become trapped between various bureaucratic bodies | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
which are disinclined to listen to the voice of the ordinary individual. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
In these circumstances he feels his campaign of action | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
is not only a reasonable but an appropriate response. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
-See how the fuck they like that. -Right. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
The irony of it is, I used to rather like this fucking country. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
-I mean yes, sure, I may have made a contribution to shaking it up in my own small way. -Right. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:29 | |
Fine. Yes, I'll grant you that. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
-Right. Yes. -The thing is... | 0:04:31 | 0:04:32 | |
Sorry, in what way exactly? | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
Well, through my work. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
Oh, right. Oh, yes, of course. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
Yes. But that's only because I love it. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
-It's like beating your wife. -Right. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
Which I've also done, obviously, but I'm not proud of it, | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
but there's a kind of honesty in that moment that people really don't like to talk about. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:52 | |
-No. Right. -This isn't a local issue. It's not about me. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:56 | |
This is a symptom of a much wider malaise in this country. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
-Right. -I mean they've managed to fuck up just about everything else. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
That patch of ground out there is just about the only thing | 0:05:03 | 0:05:08 | |
that keeps me fucking sane in this world. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Back at the Olympic Deliverance Commission, | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
it's the end of the day, and for Ian there's a first sighting of his new adversary. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:18 | |
What you've got to imagine is 200 heavy-thighed competitors | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
camping around in tights and leather boots with whips. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
God knows how many hundred horses, complete with horse boxes and Christ knows what else, | 0:05:23 | 0:05:29 | |
trampling the grass into porridge and crapping at will | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
and 20,000 pubescent girls from second-rate public schools in Surrey | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
with dreadful aspirational mothers arriving every day to watch it all. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:38 | |
In the meantime, ahead of tomorrow's planning meeting, this is one protest | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
that the Olympic authorities aren't going to enjoy sweeping under the... | 0:05:41 | 0:05:45 | |
Right, well, seems like a reasonable man. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
-Yes. -Good to see the whites of his eyes anyway. -Yes. -Right. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:53 | |
It's been a long day, but Ian knows he's going to have to go home at some point. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:57 | |
Nice dog. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
-Yes. -I like dogs. -No, the dog's fine. -I've never had one. They're too much trouble, aren't they? | 0:05:59 | 0:06:03 | |
-Well, you can have trouble without having a dog. -Right. Yes, good point. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:07 | |
OK. Well, you're just here for a bit, are you? | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
-Yes, probably. -Right. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
Yeah, just got a bit to do. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
-Bloody emails. -Oh! Don't get me started. -Getting ridiculous. -It is, ridiculous. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
OK. Well, see you tomorrow then. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
Yes. Bye. Not a problem. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
It's Tuesday morning, and as Ian arrives for work, | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
there's good news and bad news in the horse manure department. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:44 | |
Hi. It's me, obviously. I don't want to talk, in case you're wondering. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
Probably not. I left my keys in the house last night. So I can't get in. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:50 | |
The pavement outside the Olympic Deliverance Commission is clear, | 0:06:50 | 0:06:54 | |
but yesterday evening, Tony Ward's campaign of protest became more personal | 0:06:54 | 0:06:59 | |
when the latest special delivery was deposited outside Ian's own front door. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
..A vague smell of horse shit following me around and I've tracked it down to my trousers. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:07 | |
So I need to get some fresh clothes and stuff. OK? | 0:07:07 | 0:07:11 | |
Right. I'm going to turn my mobile off so you can leave a message. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:15 | |
Or email me or something. OK? Right. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
I suppose it's partly my fault. It all got a bit out of shape for a while last night. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:23 | |
-I won't go into detail. -No, OK. -OK, she'd had a bit of a shock. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
No-one likes to arrive home to find some guys from the antiterrorist unit | 0:07:25 | 0:07:29 | |
pushing a big pile of shit around on your doorstep. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
-No. What were they doing there? -They were making it safe, apparently. -Right. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
So that's all good. Plus, Eileen from next door got into a state about it. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:39 | |
-Because of... -It was her daughter's birthday and she thought they'd bought her a pony. -Oh, right. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:43 | |
But my strategic error was, I went out about midnight, just you know... | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
-Yes. -And I left my keys behind. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
In retrospect that was a very basic error. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
So how did you get back in? | 0:07:52 | 0:07:53 | |
-That's what I'm saying. I had to spend last night in the car. -God, that's... -So yeah. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
-I mean, it's a Volvo... -Oh, well, at least... | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
But how can I put this? It's an enclosed space in which to discover | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
you've managed to get horse shit on your trousers somehow. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
Ian's wife Laura is a busy lawyer in her own right. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
We asked her to take part in this programme, but she was clear that she didn't want | 0:08:11 | 0:08:15 | |
any of her personal details to be identified either psychologically or legally. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:21 | |
Meanwhile, back at the ODC, other members of the Deliverance Team | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
are working hard to prepare for the Greenwich Park decision. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
It's on a very large scale, so... | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
it's the entire park, OK? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
We've got every single tree individually marked out, | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
so we know exactly where they are. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
-Well, that's good. But we already know where the trees are. -Yes. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
You can go and look where they are, it's not a secret. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
Yes, OK, but still. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
'Head of Sustainability, Kay Hope, is in a meeting with Nigel Fox | 0:08:45 | 0:08:49 | |
'from the London Wildlife Stag Beetle Outreach Project.' | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
The issue is, stags don't live in trees, | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
they live in stumps. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
-Right, yes. -So how many stumps have you got marked on there, then? | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
OK. Right. Excuse me... | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
'Kay's hope is that she can convince him of the ODC's commitment | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
'to the preservation of the park's delicate ecosystem.' | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
It's a globally threatened species, protected under the Wildlife And Countryside Act, | 0:09:09 | 0:09:13 | |
listed as a priority for the UK And London Biodiversity Action Plan... | 0:09:13 | 0:09:17 | |
When it comes down to it, it means bugger-all. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
-OK, so here's one. Here's a stump. -Right. -There's another one here... | 0:09:19 | 0:09:23 | |
and here. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
Yeah. Those are wastepaper bins. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
And they will stay exactly where they are, | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
we're absolutely committed to that. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
OK, fine. So I'd need to be there by 7.30? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
OK. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
Well, that would be great if you could. Yes, thanks. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:41 | |
And it'll be live? | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Sure. No, that's fine. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
No, that's all good. OK. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
So I guess... | 0:09:47 | 0:09:48 | |
'Meanwhile, as media interest in the Greenwich Park protest grows, | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
'Ian has had a call from the BBC | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
'inviting him to take part in a discussion with Tony Ward | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
'on tomorrow morning's Radio Four Today Programme.' | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
OK, great. Well, fantastic. | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
See you tomorrow. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
Bye. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
-Wow! -I don't know if you actually like kiwi fruit. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
-Yes, I do. -It's full of vitamin C. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
Yes. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:13 | |
I mean, this is fantastic. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
It's not a problem. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:16 | |
'I've seen those proposals.' | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
The reason why there's no stumps on your plans is - nobody's talking about this - | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
-but those proposals involve quietly removing five of the seven remaining tree stumps in the park. -Five? -Yes. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:30 | |
To make it look better on TV, obviously... | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
'Meanwhile, Kay and Nigel Fox are getting down to the nitty-gritty.' | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
In numerical terms, five is a very high number. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
-It's been a very unpleasant battle to preserve those seven. -I'm on your side, Nigel. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:42 | |
-It's been bloody. -I am fighting the same battles in this organisation every day. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:46 | |
-OK, it's only a beetle, but it gets to you in the end. -It's more than a beetle, isn't it? | 0:10:46 | 0:10:50 | |
-It always is, that's the thing about sustainability. -It's all very well these T-shirt animals... | 0:10:50 | 0:10:55 | |
The bloody hedgehog. Well, fine. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
-But somebody's got to stand up. -Yes. | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
-You spend two to three years inside the same damp tree stump even before you become a pupa. -Yes. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:05 | |
-You spend another whole winter in there, inside the pupal case. -Right. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
Then, just when your brief time is coming, just when it's beginning to get warm, | 0:11:09 | 0:11:13 | |
some JCB comes along and flattens the whole bloody lot. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
I'm going to do something about this. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
"..It's unfortunate if there is the odd isolated individual | 0:11:21 | 0:11:26 | |
"who may not have come on that journey with us." | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
What the fuck does that mean? | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
'Meanwhile, over in Greenwich, | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
'Tony Ward has already started making preparations | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
'for tomorrow morning's radio debate.' | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
This salad dressing | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
is the only thing my third wife did for me. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
Really? | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
Olive oil, white wine vinegar, | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
tablespoon of Dijon, tablespoon of honey. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
Seven years of fucking marriage for that. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
Right. Good. So how are you going to prepare for the debate tomorrow? | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
It's not even as if I like salad that much. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
-But my doctor's some kind of fucking Nazi. -Right. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
-So how... -You go in and they've got their finger up your fucking bum. They love all that. -Good. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:18 | |
-So how are you going to prepare for tomorrow's debate? -Right, OK. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:22 | |
Let me tell you tell something. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:23 | |
Um, right... Um... | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
When I was shooting Intravenous, | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
people used to bleat on about fucking storyboarding | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
and narrative beats. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
-Well, fuck that. -Right. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:35 | |
Oliver and I used to turn up each morning, look at each other, | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
have a fucking great argument which he'd normally win, | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
and then we'd do it my way anyway. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
And that's the way it was. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
-That's what you see on the screen. -Right. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
You meet life in the moment, | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
not before it, not after it. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:51 | |
-Right, yes. -Cheers, mate. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
So yes, it's me. I left you a message earlier. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
It's half-past six. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
My trousers are stinking, I need a shower. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
I need to get into the house, OK? | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
So...give me a call. OK? | 0:13:05 | 0:13:09 | |
OK, guys. We've got a situation, unless we control it we're out of control. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:18 | |
'Back at the ODC, | 0:13:18 | 0:13:19 | |
'it's been a full day already. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:20 | |
'But at the end of the afternoon, Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe, has arrived, | 0:13:20 | 0:13:24 | |
'confident that she can make it even fuller. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:27 | |
'Her idea is that she should chair a workshop | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
'in which members of the Deliverance Team | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
'prepare Ian fully for tomorrow morning's live radio debate. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
'First up, is Head of Infrastructure, Graham Hitchens.' | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
-What are the issues, from your perspective? -From my perspective, OK, | 0:13:37 | 0:13:41 | |
-is there a funny smell in here or is that just me? -I thought that. -Did you? | 0:13:41 | 0:13:45 | |
I didn't want to say anything... | 0:13:45 | 0:13:46 | |
OK, guys, we are at 13 hours and counting, and we're counting down. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:50 | |
OK. Well, in terms of infrastructure, | 0:13:50 | 0:13:54 | |
one thing they're going to say is | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
there is no way that you're going to get up to 75,000 people | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
in and out of that park over a two-week period, | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
not with the public transport network as it is. No way, OK? | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
-They're going to say that's going to be a total disaster. -Sure. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:09 | |
OK? They're going to say... | 0:14:09 | 0:14:10 | |
Oh, I don't know... They're going to say | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
it's going to be a war zone in there, you know. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Hundreds of horses breaking loose and trampling women and children to death... | 0:14:15 | 0:14:20 | |
-Thanks, Graham. I think I've got the picture. -That's the first thing they'll say. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:24 | |
-OK. Ian. -OK. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:25 | |
Well, the park already has excellent transport connections with the DLR to Greenwich, | 0:14:25 | 0:14:30 | |
the overground links to Blackheath, | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
and the Thames River Service to Greenwich Pier. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
We've worked very closely with local community groups to devise our Coordinated Movement Plan | 0:14:35 | 0:14:39 | |
which involves the temporary removal of the gates at the Vista Park entrance | 0:14:39 | 0:14:43 | |
and dedicated one-way entrance and exit points at St Mary's Gate | 0:14:43 | 0:14:47 | |
and Circus Gate respectively. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
-OK. Graham? -Yeah, what? -Are we good with that? -Yeah, that's fine. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:55 | |
The other thing they're going to go on about is toiletage. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:59 | |
-Whoa. -They are obsessed with that. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
OK, we've got a schedule here. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
-I'm just saying... -Sorry to bother you. -No, it's OK. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
OK, guys. Time out. Back in five. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
That's me missing Britain's Got Talent. Thank you. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
-I wrote it down. -Did you speak to her? -No, I just listened. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
'Whilst the meeting has been in progress, there's finally been a message from Ian's wife.' | 0:15:17 | 0:15:21 | |
-She doesn't care where your keys are. -Right. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
'Unsettled by the events of last night, | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
'she's gone to stay at a friend's house.' | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
..basically, can't bear to be anywhere near you. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
-That's all she said. -Yeah, that's all. -Right, OK. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
-I mean, I didn't write down the other things. -Right. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
-Um, Sally... -Yes. -Could I just... | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
The thing is, I don't think I can really go on the Today Programme smelling of horse shit. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:46 | |
I need you to get me some new trousers. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
I don't know, but I think Selfridges sometimes stays open till ten. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
Yes, it does. Not a problem, I checked. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
-I wouldn't normally ask you to do this... -No, that's fine, not a problem. It's fine. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:57 | |
-So, it's Hugo Boss. -Yes. -38-inch waist. -Yes, 38, yes. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
I tell you what, why don't you just take the jacket, | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
then just ask them to get the trousers that go with that. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
Yes, of course. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:07 | |
-Here's my credit card. I'll give you my PIN number. -Yes, absolutely. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:13 | |
But if they want my inside leg measurement, | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
-I'm afraid you'll just have to use your imagination. -Yes, no, not a problem. Not a problem. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:20 | |
-So, for instance, we've done a survey of every single tree in the park. -That sounds good. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:29 | |
It's fine, it's all fine. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
Except, the thing is, the stag beetle doesn't actually live in trees, it lives in tree stumps. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:35 | |
-It's like being on Springwatch. -It feeds on dead wood. -I think I know how it feels. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:39 | |
-I'll have that. -This is actually pretty serious. -No wonder Bill Oddie's a manic depressive. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:44 | |
'Siobhan has decided that Ian and his team are happy to work late into the night if necessary.' | 0:16:44 | 0:16:49 | |
From my perspective, from a Sustainability point of view, we're really exposed here. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
-I totally get that. -No, you're absolutely right about this, Kay. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
-From a Legacy point of view, we're definitely vulnerable. -Legacy? | 0:16:56 | 0:17:00 | |
We go in there, we spend £34 million putting everything in, | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
-then we just take it all away again. -OK. -There is no legacy. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
-Legacy and Sustainability are not the same. They're totally different words. -Yes, I'm sorry. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:10 | |
-Totally different. -It's late and I just... I know they are. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
Sustainability is obviously the issue here. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
Nobody's thought about it, as usual. I really think the stag beetle | 0:17:15 | 0:17:19 | |
-is offering us an opportunity to redeem ourselves. -OK, where are we with this? | 0:17:19 | 0:17:22 | |
-We want to remove half the existing tree stumps in the park? -It's more than that. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:26 | |
-It's five out of seven so it's, that's, it's... -That's... -It's seven tenths... | 0:17:26 | 0:17:30 | |
-OK, guys... -71.4%. -Exactly. Right. It's a criminal act. -OK. Thank you, Graham. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:36 | |
You've got your keyboard, a touchscreen - best of both worlds. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
-OK. we've got an issue here and we've got to nail it. -Looking at this, | 0:17:39 | 0:17:43 | |
-it's quite hard to see what's what. -You're telling me! I can't make head nor tail of it. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:47 | |
-Nobody's thought it through. -What are the round things? -I'm hoping they're pepperoni, I've had three. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:52 | |
-There are some trees we may have to lose. -OK. How many? -I don't know. Ten or something. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:57 | |
-Not the listed ones, obviously. -OK. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
That's bad enough, but at least we'll be replanting. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
-But you can't replant a stump. -But if... -It's absolutely typical. Welcome to my world. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
-So let's say we're cutting down ten existing trees. Why can't that be ten new tree stumps? -What? | 0:18:05 | 0:18:10 | |
-Holy shit. -Unless I've misunderstood something. -Uh, well... | 0:18:10 | 0:18:14 | |
-In terms of Sustainability... -Jesus. -..our legacy, our... | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
You know, the thing will be that, in fact, after the Games | 0:18:17 | 0:18:21 | |
-there'll be more tree stumps in the park than there are now. -Yay! Go Beetle! | 0:18:21 | 0:18:25 | |
-I mean, that's all very well. -Yeah, that's a 58.3% increase. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:29 | |
-That is sensational! -You've got GPS on here, obviously. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:32 | |
-Have you got a fast-forward on that thing? -OK. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
It's half-past ten. I think we've probably... | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
-I know exactly what'll happen. I know already. -OK, guys. Good job. I think we're done. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:41 | |
The Legacy lot will get their hands on this. You just wait. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:44 | |
Yeah, great. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:45 | |
Can I have your dough balls? | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
'Sorry, I couldn't get down to Dad's at the weekend...' | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
'By the time the meeting's over it's nearly eleven o'clock, | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
'but Ian has still found time to phone his sister.' | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
It's a bit late to call out of the blue. In fact, you're probably in bed already. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
But is there any chance of me crashing at your place tonight? | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
Perhaps you could just let me know either way? Mind you, if you're asleep... | 0:19:04 | 0:19:08 | |
-Sally. -Oh, hi. -You're still here. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
-Yeah, I had a bit of catching up to do. Some spreadsheet-ing, anyway. -You got the stuff! | 0:19:15 | 0:19:20 | |
-Yeah, I just put it over there. -Oh, that's great, that's perfect. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
-Brilliant, Sally. -Not a problem. I had them taken up. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
They said they couldn't do it cos they were closing, | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
-but I pointed out they had a sign up saying "Free Alteration Service." -Right. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
-I think they just wanted to go home. -What's this? A tie? -Yes. -That's, really... | 0:19:32 | 0:19:36 | |
-You don't have to wear it, I just thought... -No, no, no, it's great. And...a razor. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:41 | |
-You can take it back. Or I can take it back if it's easier. -Oh, no, no. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:44 | |
Aftershave balm with soothing aloe vera and healing tea tree oil. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:48 | |
-I don't know if you like tea tree oil. -This is too much. -A lot of people don't. -What's this? | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
It's fine, I can just take it all back. It's not a problem. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
This computer is so slow... | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
Socks? | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
It's annoying, actually. They keep saying they're going to replace it, but they haven't. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:04 | |
This is the wrong entrance? There's a wrong entrance and a right entrance? | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
'It's the next morning, and Tony Ward's arrival at the BBC | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
'has got off to a false start.' | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Typical fucking BBC. Perfectly good fucking entrance where everybody used to come in and out. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:19 | |
-Then they build another fucking entrance 300 yards up the fucking road. Bunch of -BLEEP. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:24 | |
-Are you feeling confident? -This is the wrong way, isn't it? -Uh... | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
-We're going towards the fucking car park. -Right. -Fucking hell. -Right. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:31 | |
..Looking at your face, they're also going to be looking at you... | 0:20:34 | 0:20:38 | |
'Meanwhile, Siobhan has made sure that Ian, | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
'who is feeling much better-rested this morning, is there early.' | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
Another thing is, it takes 37 muscles to frown, right? | 0:20:43 | 0:20:47 | |
Yeah, this is radio, Siobhan. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
OK, but here's the thing about radio. Radio's a totally visual medium. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
-Yes, I know that. -Why do you think they got webcams in there? -What? | 0:20:52 | 0:20:56 | |
-And the loos are just back here, round to the left if you need them. OK. So, here we are. -Right. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:02 | |
-I don't know whether you two have actually met? -No, we haven't. -Hi. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
Yeah, that's enough. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:10 | |
'Meanwhile, Tony Ward has finally made it into the building.' | 0:21:10 | 0:21:14 | |
-Can I get you a coffee? -Yeah, sure. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
I'll have a latte with as much caffeine as you can physically ram into it. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
-We've just got coffee, I'm afraid. -OK, forget it. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
Or, I don't know... We've tea, or maybe... | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
Yeah, actually, fuck it. Just bring me some coffee, love, OK? Fuck it. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
Coffee, right. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
The running order's changing all the time, so I'll see what the latest is. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:34 | |
-Yeah, do that. -Thanks. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
Right. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
Yesssss. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
'Owing to a devastating mudslide in Taiwan, following weeks of heavy rain, | 0:22:04 | 0:22:09 | |
'Ian and Tony's slot has been put back in the running order. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:12 | |
'All they can do now is wait.' | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
'I've got nothing to say to him.' | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
-Everything I'm going to say, I'm going to say on air. -Right. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:20 | |
-Him and his bit of media skirt. -Do you know what you're going to say? | 0:22:20 | 0:22:23 | |
-They're in for a surprise. -Right. -I'm going to be Mr Reasonable. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:27 | |
-Well, that probably will be... -Can you take this? I don't want it. -OK. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
-It's unspeakable. -Right. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
I'm going to be calm, I'm going to be polite, | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
I'm going to be rational. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
And I'm just going to let the guy reveal himself | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
-as the useless -BLEEP -that he is. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
Right. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
No, I'm feeling pretty good. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:48 | |
It's surprising what not smelling of horse shit does for your confidence. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:52 | |
I think the longer the wait, | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
the greater the chances of him just overheating and blowing a circuit. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:58 | |
The other good thing is that Siobhan thinks I'm still in the toilet. It's all looking very good. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:03 | |
-OK, so here's the situation. Sorry to have kept you waiting. -No, not at all. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:09 | |
The running order's gone because of the mudslide. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
But we're trying to get you in, since you're here. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:14 | |
-You'll be the last item, running up to nine o'clock and you won't have long, I'm afraid. -OK. -Ah, fuck. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:19 | |
I'll take you through now, but it might be worth thinking of one or two key things... | 0:23:19 | 0:23:23 | |
-(Stag beetle.) -What? | 0:23:23 | 0:23:24 | |
-One or two key points to make... -(Stag Beetle.) | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
-Thank you, Siobhan. -OK, if you want to follow me. -Cool. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
-It'll just be the two of them in the studio, I'm afraid. -OK. I'm sure that could work. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:34 | |
I'm cool with that. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:35 | |
'Finally, after all the build-up and preparation, the moment has arrived.' | 0:23:39 | 0:23:43 | |
..All over the papers, ahead of that planning decision. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
We're joined by Tony Ward, who's the man responsible for the protest, | 0:23:45 | 0:23:49 | |
and by Ian Fletcher, who's Head of Deliverance at the ODC. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
Now, we're going to have to keep this brief, gentlemen, I'm afraid. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:56 | |
Tony Ward, what exactly do you hope to achieve in this campaign? | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
Good morning, James. These people are a bunch of chinless Stalinists. That's no controversy... | 0:23:59 | 0:24:04 | |
We'll have to put that straight to Ian Fletcher. Chinless Stalinist? | 0:24:04 | 0:24:08 | |
-Well, I think... -Very briefly, I'm afraid. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
Yes, obviously, I'm very sorry that Tony feels that way. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
All right, gentlemen, we'll have to leave it there. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
We will return to this again before 2012. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
Our editors today were Ollie Stone-Lee and Alexis Condon. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
-From all of us, good morning. -Good morning... | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
OFF-AIR SIGNAL BEEPS | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
Waste of fucking time. Typical Radio Four. It's all plays about women having problems with refrigerators. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:34 | |
'Despite all his experience in the film world, | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
'Tony has been genuinely surprised by the speed at which live radio can sometimes move.' | 0:24:37 | 0:24:42 | |
'Meanwhile, by the time Ian has got back to the Olympic Deliverance Commission, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:51 | |
'there's a surprise waiting for him.' | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
-Morning. -Oh, hi. -So, did you hear it? | 0:24:53 | 0:24:56 | |
Yeah. Yeah, I did, yeah. I heard it. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
Right. So what did you think? | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
-There's someone here to see you. -What? | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
Jesus. Right. OK. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
-Fuck. -I offered her tea. -Uh... -But she said she didn't want anything - or coffee. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:08 | |
-So I just gave her some water, really. -Right, OK. -And then she went in there. -Right, God. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:13 | |
-Well, she's coming out. -Shall I? | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
'His wife, Laura, has decided to drop by.' | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
-No, you stay right where you are. -OK. -Hi. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
-First of all, as you know, I am a lawyer. -Yes, hello. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
I have not given my consent to be filmed, | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
-so if I appear in this. I will sue you personally, and I will win. -Right. -Laura! | 0:25:23 | 0:25:27 | |
I mean, at least that's all pretty, uh... | 0:25:27 | 0:25:30 | |
-Would you like a... -You stay exactly where you are. -Not a problem. -Laura... | 0:25:30 | 0:25:34 | |
-So we're turning that off, OK? -Uh, well, shall we... | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
I think legally you can't... | 0:25:36 | 0:25:39 | |
-Where was I? You locked me out. -Where did you get that tie from? | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
-What, this? -You haven't got a tie like that. -Laura, let's just go somewhere and talk. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:48 | |
We ARE somewhere, I AM talking. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
-Uh, shall I? -No, leave that. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
-I just thought... -Don't think, just leave it! -Not a problem. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
-This is between you and me. I'm not having you talk to Sally like that. -No, really... -I'm not having it. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:59 | |
-But really... -Sally, please, shut up. -OK. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
-Where did you spend last night? -I don't see why I should answer that. -Were you with her? | 0:26:01 | 0:26:06 | |
-This is pointless and embarrassing. -I take your failure to answer as a yes. | 0:26:06 | 0:26:09 | |
-If that's what you think happened, fine, good. -Actually can I... | 0:26:09 | 0:26:13 | |
-Sally, please, stay out of this. -It's not a problem, I'd like to say something. -No! | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
-What are you doing with that? -Oh, nothing. -Is it still on? -No. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:20 | |
-I sit here every day. -Sally! -There's still a light on. -That's just the... -It's still on! -It just does that. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:25 | |
-I sit and never say much. -Please! -It's not a problem, but all my life... | 0:26:25 | 0:26:28 | |
# There may be trouble ahead | 0:26:37 | 0:26:42 | |
# But while there's moonlight and music | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
# And love and romance | 0:26:45 | 0:26:49 | |
# Let's face the music and dance | 0:26:49 | 0:26:54 | |
# There may be teardrops to shed | 0:26:54 | 0:26:58 | |
# So while there's moonlight and music | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
# And love and romance | 0:27:01 | 0:27:04 | |
# Let's face the music and dance | 0:27:04 | 0:27:11 | |
# Let's face the music | 0:27:11 | 0:27:15 | |
# And dance. # | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 |