Episode 5 Twenty Twelve


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Coe has beaten Cram!

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What a marvellous finish!

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And Seb Coe gets the gold medal!

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# There may be trouble ahead

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# But while there's moonlight and music and love and romance

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# Lets face the music and dance

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# Let's face the music and dance. #

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This programme contains some strong language.

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Right, OK. Shall we...?

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-OK, guys. Let's do this.

-Can I remind everyone, phones off, please?

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OK.

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-PHONE VIBRATES

-Before we get started...

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Hi, Fran. Sure. Go ahead.

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'As usual, it's Monday morning

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'for London 2012 Head of Deliverance Ian Fletcher and his team.'

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Yeah. Not going to happen.

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Sure. But we don't want Richard Branson in any kind of Lycra.

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'For the steering meeting,

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'Ian is joined by Head of Contracts Nick Jellet,

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'Head of Sustainability Kay Hope

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'and Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe from PR company Perfect Curve.'

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Cool. Sure. Fran, I've got to go. OK. Bye.

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Right. Before we get started, I had a call from upstairs this morning...

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Right. Here we go.

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Seb had the idea that it would be good if as many of us as wanted to entered the London Marathon.

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That's his best ever. What? Run it?

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He's talked to you about this, Siobhan.

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-It's 26 miles!

-I'm doing it.

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I'm so in, guys. My ass is so in gear on this.

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-How far IS that?

-No compulsion, obviously.

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-Have a think.

-I have done.

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-So, moving on...

-Sure. Thanks, Ian.

-Still me, I think.

-OK.

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We've all had the CVs. We'll look at those.

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First, I want to talk about the interview process, how we want that to work.

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'The main item this week is the appointment of Curator of the Cultural Olympiad,

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'following the departure of the previous incumbent after "uncreative differences of vision".'

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I've got nothing against the Cultural Olympiad. I like guys on stilts, but why us?

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-Haven't we got enough to do?

-I think after the complications...

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Sure. Seb and Boris and Tess were, like, "We're hands off on this."

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So something I do want us all to think about at this stage

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are the open questions that will allow us to discriminate

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between these three candidates,

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and enable them to give a full account of themselves.

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As an example, a key question is, "What is the Cultural Olympiad"?

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That's a really good open question.

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-All right?

-Yeah.

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I'm totally good with that.

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It'll end up with guys on stilts.

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'Nick has been thinking carefully about the London Marathon.'

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It's a stupid idea. I'll say it, if no-one else will.

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Why do you say that? > Fine, if you're Ethiopian or Nigerian or whathaveyou.

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Those guys are elite athletes.

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But 30,000 white guys staggering around behind them dressed as lions,

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soiling themselves and having heart attacks, that's not a sport.

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'It's the day of the Cultural Olympiad interviews,

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'but as Siobhan Sharpe arrives,

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'it's clear that her marathon training programme hasn't started well.'

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-I just tore a muscle.

-Is it serious? >

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Johan's like, "You've got to rest for six weeks." That's not going to happen. Johan's my coach.

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-You've got a coach? >

-Sure.

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You enter the London Marathon, you don't want to look like an amateur.

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So he's, like, "There's nothing you can do."

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I'm, like, "Oh, really? So what's your job?"

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You don't respect his judgment? >

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I hired the guy. You don't pay good money for a coach to have him tell you what to do.

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'Meanwhile, the first of the three candidates has arrived early.'

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Can you get that to me by the end of the week?

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That'll be great. Can I get a receipt, please?

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Thanks very much. I've got to go.

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'Anna Mitchell has come prepared not just for the interview itself

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'but also for the possibility of being successful.'

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-Anna, come on in.

-Thanks.

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-This is Kay...

-Hi.

-..Siobhan Sharpe from Perfect Curve.

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'In the building twice a month in an advisory capacity

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'on the Paralympic closing ceremony planning group,

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'Anna has her experience as Creative Coordinator for Belfast's year as European City of Dance to drawn on,

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'as well as three weeks as Acting Head of Forward Planning at the Royal Opera House.'

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-Welcome to the ODC. You don't need me...

-Welcome.

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..to tell you how important this role is.

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-The Cultural Olympiad is at the heart of what we're all about.

-Yes, it is.

-Yeah.

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It's also a term that can mean different things to many different people.

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-So that might be a good place...

-Sure.

-..to start by...

-Absolutely.

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-For me, personally, if the Cultural Olympiad is about anything, and I believe it is...

-Sure.

-Yes.

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..we're talking about underwriting a commonality of creative purpose

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-through a shared awareness of diversity.

-Right.

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-Would you like to say more about that?

-Yes, I would.

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I'm struggling already.

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-Sure. This was something I was keen to drive forward in Cardiff.

-Yes.

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-We talked a lot about cultural "in-reach" as well as "out-reach".

-Right. Did you?

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Street theatre, public art, stand-alone eventaging or circus skills...

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Guys on stilts! No. Absolutely!

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'Meanwhile, outside, the next candidate is arriving.

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'As distant niece of ex Pakistan cricket captain Imran Khan,

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'Roshanara Khan is no stranger to success.

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'Rumoured to have enjoyed a brief spell at Oxford

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'as younger sister to Boris Johnson's girlfriend,

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'she rose to prominence in 2004 when she sold her internet fitness site, ripped.com, for £7 million.'

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-You're not nervous?

-No. I don't get nervous.

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My mother said to me, "Success comes in cans, not can'ts."

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It's like a pun, I guess. Cans.

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Yes, it is.

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-It's about creating public spaces where cross-cultural resonances can self-generate...

-Yes, good.

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Things start to get really exciting.

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'Meanwhile, Anna Mitchell's interview is almost at an end.'

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-In Cardiff...

-Great.

-..we used giant inflatable babies...

-That's great.

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-Unless there are any more...?

-No. I don't think so.

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-NICK: You're joking.

-We're done here.

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ANNA: 'Basically, I enjoyed the whole experience.'

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'With the interview over, Anna has emerged having basically enjoyed the whole experience.'

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I had a lot of things I needed to say and they sat there and listened.

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So it was a genuine conversation.

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Roshanara, let me do the introductions.

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This is Kay... Siobhan Sharpe from Perfect Curve.

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'Meanwhile, for Ian and his panel, the next interview has started.'

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I wonder if a good place to start might be to talk about the fundamental question.

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-What is the Cultural Olympiad?

-Yes, exactly.

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In a sense, to ask what is it that we're celebrating here?

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-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Right.

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And beyond that, what is it that constitutes British culture?

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Yeah, yeah. Completely.

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No. We're asking YOU, love. We're asking you what you think.

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'It's becoming clear that, for Roshanara Khan,

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'the Cultural Olympiad is more about questions than about answering those questions.'

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We have a big cultural space, OK? So we take that idea and make it real.

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You mean...? What do you mean? We take our big cultural space,

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literally, like a huge tent...

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-Oh, cool.

-..and it goes round the country from city to city.

-Cool.

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This tent of yours, it's empty? Yeah, yeah.

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Then we see what people want to put in it.

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NICK: Like what, for instance?

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We literally see what people bring to the tent.

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You put on a play?

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Install webcams. If you want to know who we are culturally, log on, find out.

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< Plant a tree. Tree?

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For sustainable future. OK. Why not? >

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NICK: Guys on stilts! ROSHANARA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Don't try to make this about your parents...

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'For Ian, meanwhile, lunch time is a chance to catch up on other issues.'

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It doesn't matter whether I want to see them or not. That's not...

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OK, then. No, I don't particularly want to see them, since you ask.

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And I don't want to see the Lion King, but that's not the...

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Because, guess what, Laura, I've got quite a lot on.

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I'm organising the fucking Olympic Games.

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Ian's got very broad shoulders. You never see them, but there's a lot of weight on them.

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< Does he ever talk to you about...?

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He doesn't need to. We're a team. I know exactly what he's feeling.

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< Do you think he knows that? He doesn't need to. < Of course.

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'It's the afternoon, and the third and final of the three candidates

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'for Curator of the Cultural Olympiad has already arrived.

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'Fidel Wilson was originally from Coventry,

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'but then trained as a successful choreographer achieving notoriety

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'for a series of spontaneous naked flash-mob events around the world.'

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Let me do the introductions. KAY HOPE, Head of Sustainability.

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-Nick Jellet...

-Siobhan Sharpe.

-Who is from Perfect Curve.

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'He hit the headlines when violence broke out following a performance

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'of his all-male stage version of Little Women in Venice.'

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I'll start by asking you about your sense

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-of what the Cultural Olympiad is about or could be about.

-Cool.

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-Or should be about.

-Sure. Question.

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-Question. Er... Sport. Art. What they got in common?

-Right.

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-OK.

-I'd say that's easy. Nothing.

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The body. The body's where sport and culture meet.

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-Cool.

-We've got this opportunity to find a national groove. OK.

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For me, this Cultural Olympiad has always been about, you know, it's...

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'It's already clear that, for Fidel Wilson,

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'the Cultural Olympiad is a physical experience, as opposed to an idea.'

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Bear with me, right? Young, old.

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Black, white. Rich, poor. Whatever.

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Stand together and say...

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Today, we're gonna get up. And we're gonna dance.

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In the street. Tomorrow, right? We're gonna jump.

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For joy. Day after that...

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We run for our lives.

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-Right, well...

-It's time, man.

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We're here and we're now.

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Right?

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And we're alive.

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-That's it.

-Right.

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Well...

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-Yay!

-I was wondering if you could say a bit more.

-No.

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-That's what I've got, take it or leave it.

-Right.

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So, day 12. Just done 10k with my friend Alice.

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Think she was struggling a bit, but I feel great. Never thought I could do this but it turns out I can.

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'Meanwhile, Head of Sustainability Kay Hope, has started training for the marathon

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'and is posting a daily video blog of her progress as a single mother.'

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..made me realise what a great place I'm at. Just me and Kieran.

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Really happy things turned out the way they have. Can do what I want.

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Can go running, whatever. Just really happy, basically.

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It feels very private, just me talking about how I feel.

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I suppose there are people out there who watch it, there must be.

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How does that feel? > I don't know if Simon is watching. I don't care.

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He probably isn't anyway. I don't think about it, whether he is or he isn't.

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No point in rushing training. That way, a lot of injuries happen.

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'Head of Infrastructure Graham Hitchens approached his preparations in a more scientific fashion.'

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-I've got my gait analysed.

-Your gait?

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Yeah. There's this South African guy in Kentish Town...

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He might be from New Zealand. Whatever.

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-What was the result of the analysis?

-That was quite interesting.

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He looked at my feet and he told me to go outside and run 50 yards.

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When I got back, he'd gone. I'm thinking, "That's not a good sign."

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Being positive, Nick told me that he would pay a lot of money not to see me run.

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-So I'm thinking, basically, result!

-< Yeah.

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'Meanwhile, after last week's interviews for the Cultural Olympiad

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'Ian has called the interview panel back to begin the postmortem.'

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-She talked a lot about that.

-She talked a lot about everything.

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Before we move towards a decision, it might be worth refocusing...

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Thank you, Sally. ..on our selection criteria.

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'The hope is to reach a decision and to make an early announcement to the press.'

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-So, we're looking for merit and eligibility.

-I'm good with that.

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-This is not about gut feelings.

-No way.

-Or a beauty contest.

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If it were, that second lass would win hands down and she was useless.

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'The panel seems to be moving towards some kind of decision.'

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Roshanara Khan.

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I'd like to support her because she's a woman

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but you've got to be suspicious about a woman who arrives looking like a supermodel.

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-That is NOT in the job description.

-Well...

-The job of being a woman.

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If only it were that easy. She's a nice enough lass.

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She's had things easy. I've no problem with that.

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-But you've got to have more up your sleeve than an empty tent.

-Right.

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-Fidel Wilson.

-He was great.

-He was different.

-He was way cool.

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The question would be his experience,

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whether he can manage a team and administer a £73-million budget

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efficiently to deliver his vision practically on the ground.

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-Right.

-Now you're being daft.

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'At last, there's a growing realisation

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'that the panel has managed to eliminate all the candidates except Anna Mitchell.'

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We went with the experienced candidate.

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'Even though it's the end of a long day, Ian decides to go for a run

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'instead of going straight home.'

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It's not a requirement of the job that you have to like the person.

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It isn't like a marriage where, if you don't like the person,

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it's just pointless and painful for everybody.

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In a job like yours, is it difficult to keep your personal life...? >

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-I'm going to go to the toilet now.

-OK. Right. >

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PHONE RINGS

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Hi. How are you? Good. I'm good...

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'As Head of Deliverance, Ian has got a big enough job to do,

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'but he's got a call from Sebastian Coe, and that means putting everything on hold.'

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The feeling in the room was that she was the most experienced candidate.

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Right. OK.

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Right. When you say, "It would have been good if..."

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'There is concern upstairs that in reaching an autonomous conclusion

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'the interviewing panel should be mindful of the ethnic balance across executive appointments.

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'Suddenly, a decision which seemed clear-cut

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'is beginning to look increasingly as if it wasn't.'

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Leave that with me. I'll run it through the computer and see who sneezes.

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Sure. I'll get back to you as soon as... Absolutely. Understood.

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OK. Talk soon. Bye.

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-It's up to you, obviously, but you might want to go now.

-OK.

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Right.

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OK. Um...

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The key thing is that we sit on the Anna Mitchell press release.

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I'm telling you what he said. Siobhan, there's no point shouting.

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'It's important now that Ian moves swiftly and decisively.'

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I'll phone you back. Bye.

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-Hi.

-Oh, hi.

-Right, I've had a call from upstairs.

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-I don't suppose it's possible to put a nine o'clock in?

-Sure.

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-I've done it. I e-mailed Nick, Kay and Siobhan and left messages on their mobiles.

-Sally, that's great.

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-It's going to be better if it's 8.30.

-I said 8.30.

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Right.

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Brilliant.

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-Excuse the shorts.

-Not a problem.

-Thank God you were still here.

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-Thought I'd catch up then go straight to the gym.

-Gym?

-Yeah.

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-Maybe you should enter the marathon.

-Me? No way. I could never do that.

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-Why not?

-I'm not fit enough.

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-Of course you are.

-I do 10k on the running machine...

-That's miles.

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Be good to have someone to train with.

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PHONE RINGS

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Siobhan, I said I'd phone you back.

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You've got to understand, this is coming from upstairs.

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Still the same flag pole, they've just changed the...flag.

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I've got a bit of nipple rash.

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I think of it as a badge of honour.

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'For Kay Hope, it's another day, another blog.'

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..just a 5k, which is great, but women are amazing!

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I know it sounds funny, but no wonder men can't hack it.

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It looks as if we've appointed a woman to run the Cultural Olympiad

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so I've been thinking, "Go, Anna Mitchell! Go, women! Go us!"

0:19:340:19:39

Don't know.

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No. Don't know. No. Still don't know.

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'Meanwhile, it's another day and Ian Fletcher is already under pressure.'

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I have no idea what time I'm going to be back, do I?

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No, the thing is...

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What you don't... Ow! Fuck!

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NICK: They're supposed to be hands-off. It's like Maoist China.

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'By 8.30, it's already groundhog day in the meeting room.'

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-Fine if you're Chinese. I'm from Yorkshire.

-Here's the thing.

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We are where we are. I have got journalists coming out of my ears.

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We need to make a decision.

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'After the response from above to their choice of Anna Mitchell,

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'Ian called the panel in to discuss the merits of the other candidates.'

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All right, let's do this in stages.

0:20:300:20:33

-Are we in agreement that we don't want to offer the post to Roshanara Khan?

-No.

-I'm sorry.

0:20:330:20:39

Let's take Roshanara out of the equation.

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The next question is... There aren't any more questions.

0:20:430:20:48

-Siobhan, will you get a press release about Fidel Wilson ready?

-I'm on it.

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-This process is ridiculous.

-Well, at least we didn't go public with Anna Mitchell.

0:20:530:20:58

-That is good.

-We should congratulate ourselves.

-Yes.

-That would have...

0:20:580:21:04

You're looking at a total shit storm.

0:21:040:21:07

-So that's all good.

-Yes.

0:21:070:21:09

In many ways, we would have preferred our original choice.

0:21:090:21:14

When someone invites you to re-examine a decision, sometimes you arrive at a better decision.

0:21:140:21:22

< You think you've made a better decision?

0:21:220:21:25

We've made a different decision. In a boring world, different is good.

0:21:250:21:29

PHONE RINGING Hello. Ian Fletcher's office.

0:21:290:21:33

'By lunch time, things are more different than Ian thought.'

0:21:330:21:37

I've had journalists calling me for the last hour.

0:21:370:21:40

'A journalist asked Anna Mitchell for her reaction to her appointment to the Cultural Olympiad.'

0:21:400:21:47

The blogosphere and Twitter world is going ape-shit.

0:21:470:21:51

-What happens now?

-Ready for this?

-Yes.

-She's in the building.

-Right.

0:21:510:21:56

-Can you believe it?

-No. Yes.

-For a Paralympics closing ceremony whatever thing.

0:21:560:22:02

-So...

-I haven't finished.

0:22:020:22:04

We can't announce Fidel Wilson because he hasn't turned his phone on and formally said yes.

0:22:040:22:09

-Also, I'm getting unbelievable wind from all the running.

-Oh, dear.

0:22:090:22:14

-Have you finished now?

-Yeah.

0:22:140:22:16

How do you manage to keep calm when you're under so much pressure?

0:22:160:22:21

It's not easy. You could run a car off it. It's incredible!

0:22:210:22:25

-Hi, there.

-Hello, Ian.

0:22:300:22:32

'Meanwhile, the problem of what to say to Anna Mitchell has arrived sooner than Ian was ready for it.'

0:22:320:22:39

-So, how are you?

-I'm good.

-Good.

0:22:390:22:42

-Yes, I'm pretty good.

-Great.

0:22:420:22:45

Great.

0:22:450:22:46

BREAKS WIND

0:22:500:22:52

-DOORS OPEN

-Right, this is where I get off.

0:23:030:23:06

-Are you...?

-No. I'm on the way up.

0:23:060:23:09

-Right. Are you?

-I think so, yes.

-Good.

0:23:090:23:11

-Maybe you'd like to pop into my office after your meeting.

-Sure.

0:23:110:23:16

-On your way down.

-Yes.

-Right. Good.

0:23:160:23:20

I've phoned the web team and asked them to remove it from the site...

0:23:240:23:29

'Kay has been quietly busy with her own issues.

0:23:290:23:32

'She's decided to discontinue her blog and pull out of the marathon.'

0:23:320:23:37

I was only running so I could blog about it. That's the thing.

0:23:370:23:42

In the end, what's so great about having infected toenails?

0:23:420:23:46

I've got other things in my life.

0:23:460:23:49

'Meanwhile, Anna has finished her meeting upstairs and is awaiting her appointment with Ian and fate.'

0:23:490:23:55

I can't tell you anything yet. You don't want to tempt fate.

0:23:550:23:59

< Or take anything for granted.

0:23:590:24:02

-Anna, hi.

-Hi.

-Sorry to keep you waiting.

-No problem, Ian.

0:24:020:24:06

Come on through.

0:24:060:24:08

Please, have a seat.

0:24:090:24:11

'If Ian's task is to be the caring doctor

0:24:110:24:14

'explaining to a relieved patient they got the test results mixed up,

0:24:140:24:19

'Anna's task is to grasp that, in fact, she's going to die after all.'

0:24:190:24:25

-Hi.

-Oh, hi.

-Still nothing back from Fidel Wilson?

-Not so far.

0:24:350:24:40

Tight hamstrings! What's the point of a mobile if you don't turn it on?

0:24:400:24:45

'With a potential crisis dealt with, all that's left is for final details to be settled.'

0:24:450:24:51

We haven't got a home number. I feel he has an interesting home life.

0:24:510:24:55

BREAKS WIND

0:24:550:24:57

-Would you like another Wind-eze?

-No thanks. Can't face any more.

0:24:570:25:02

-I was thinking of trying to fit in another run, now that the decks are pretty much level again.

-Right.

0:25:020:25:09

I don't know whether you brought your kit in today.

0:25:090:25:12

Yeah. I think I did.

0:25:120:25:14

-Right, well, maybe...if...

-PHONE RINGS

0:25:140:25:17

Hello. Ian Fletcher's office.

0:25:170:25:20

Oh, yes. One second.

0:25:200:25:23

-I'll see if he's available. It's the DCMS.

-What do they want?

0:25:230:25:27

I'm just putting you through. Thank you.

0:25:270:25:31

Hello. What can I do for you?

0:25:310:25:34

Yeah.

0:25:340:25:36

'But Ian Fletcher's is a world where the moment you think

0:25:370:25:41

'you're going for a run with your PA instead of seeing a lengthy musical with your wife's parents,

0:25:410:25:48

'the Department of Culture, Media and Sport phones up

0:25:480:25:50

'to say that, although it's vital the panel decides independently,

0:25:500:25:54

'in changing its mind about who to choose, it would seem perverse if the person eventually appointed

0:25:550:26:02

'was not, in some way or other, a woman.'

0:26:020:26:05

-Sally, do we have a number for Roshanara Khan?

-Yes. I've got it.

0:26:090:26:14

It's all good.

0:26:160:26:18

It removes a whole layer of uncertainty at a stroke...

0:26:180:26:22

< Are you allowed to smoke in here?

0:26:220:26:25

In an ideal world, we'd have gone with our second choice but the thing is to look for the positive.

0:26:260:26:33

So where is that? >

0:26:330:26:35

I'd started to think I'd lost any appetite for cigarettes. Turns out, it's as strong as ever.

0:26:350:26:42

Let's get out there. I've had enough of this office.

0:26:450:26:49

-It's Fidel Wilson.

-Oh. Great.

0:26:490:26:51

-He left a message while I was changing.

-So, what does it...?

0:26:510:26:55

FIDEL: 'Shit! I left my phone at a friend's house.

0:26:550:26:58

'I can't believe it! OK, so, yeah, man.

0:26:580:27:02

'I'm pumped here!

0:27:020:27:05

'Point me at it. I am ready to go on this.

0:27:050:27:08

'So, thank you, guys. This is gonna be AWESOME!

0:27:080:27:13

'So call me, OK?

0:27:130:27:16

'Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Woo! Come on!'

0:27:160:27:20

Right.

0:27:240:27:25

Hello? Is that Fidel?

0:27:270:27:30

This is Ian Fletcher from the ODC.

0:27:300:27:32

Yes. How are you? Good...

0:27:320:27:35

'For the second time, Ian has the delicate task of helping someone who thought they were happy

0:27:350:27:42

'to understand that they really aren't.'

0:27:420:27:45

I very much hope that we can find an amicable...

0:27:450:27:49

OK. So that's all good.

0:27:530:27:55

-I picked these up.

-Right.

-If you want one.

-Yeah.

0:27:550:27:58

-It's been a long day.

-Thanks. That's great.

0:27:580:28:02

I don't know if you've got time for a run or if you have to get back.

0:28:020:28:06

-Do you know what I'd like to do?

-No.

0:28:060:28:09

I'd like to go to a pub and I'd like to have a cold beer.

0:28:090:28:14

-Right.

-And then possibly another one.

0:28:140:28:17

-After you've been running?

-Do you fancy going for a drink, Sally?

0:28:170:28:21

Er... Yeah. OK.

0:28:210:28:23

Good.

0:28:230:28:25

# ..There may be tear drops to shed

0:28:540:28:57

# So while there's moonlight and music and love and romance

0:28:580:29:04

# Let's face the music and dance

0:29:040:29:11

# Let's face the music

0:29:110:29:15

# And dance. #

0:29:150:29:17

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0:29:170:29:20

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