Absent Friends Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads?

to look forward to the past? #

All right! All right!

Come along, pet. Bye, Terry.

Howay! Back to the reception

Get off all right, did they?

Why would he need a manual? No practical experience.

Oh, aye? Mind you, what you can learn from books...especially

We found a slope - a slag heap off the A1. He was never off his back.

to pick them up and dust them down.

You take your duties as best man

God knows how they'll get on -

Don't be so nervous, pet. Unfasten your seat belt and smoke if you wish.

Only a collision or pilot error

I don't want to! When I fly

When we plummet into the icy waves of the North Sea, you'll thank me.

Safety's the big thing about flying

You never see ads saying "Fly with us, we haven't crashed recently."

They seduce you with the food and the stewardess' hemlines.

It takes your mind off metal fatigue.

Except for my secret hoard. 'Ey up! Get yourself a glass.

Just reflecting on life and counting

be next. Where is she, by the way?

I was asking you. She'll be at the house with all the other relatives.

They're a desperate lot, they are.

Are you married? Separated.

Aye, I remember. One of those things.

Aye, marriage is a funny business...

Nah, it's not funny at all!

It beats being blind and crippled.

Oh, Susan'll be back at the house.

I thought I'd see if things were OK - with her being bridesmaid.

I know what you thought, eh?

You thought you'd go wheeling

but he's in Toronto, isn't he?

Ah, well, you might be lucky and catch her with her loyalties down.

There's nothing like a wedding

Look at these two here!

Have a drop more. All right, then.

Oh, aye! Absent friends. I thought you were talking about my relatives.

They'll be at 30,000 feet now.

He won't look out the window

the Darby and Joan Club, you know?

Did they get off all right, then?

What will you do without him? I thought about going out with girls.

or a meal or anything you like?

I can't, honestly. I'd love to, but I've got to give my mam a hand.

Maybe later? All right...not that there's anywhere to go...later.

It's at your mother's but he said I could pick it up and use his house.

or Thelma's new stair carpet.

I've seen Thelma's new stair carpet.

You've got all the patter. You've wasted it on Bob all these years.

Thanks very much. Gut norte!

I think he means "good night"

You've only met him and the receptionist. He wasn't so clever.

I said it clearly, "Nor go toden?"

what time the train leaves. Well! Can't blame him for looking puzzled!

Shouldn't you have carried me

I still feel queasy from the flight. Did you pack the stomach powders?

how to sweep a girl off her feet. I will do, when me tummy's settled.

It's a nice room. There's lots of

Westerns would be in English. Shall I wear my apres-ski tonight, even though we haven't yet?

Girls in florists' and hairdressers' in those thin, blue nylon things,

their dress off. I do like smocks.

uniforms and bus conductresses.

we saw a coloured meter maid.

and his eyes glazed over with lust.

Does he count a bridesmaid's dress

He'll be fine there. Pardon?

She was hardly indifferent. I thought it was on. What was on?

On. A fella looks at a girl and

Typical chauvinistic conceit.

about Terry Collier and Susan.

"Match of the Day" on our colour TV.

How can he be watching our TV?

Oh, I er...I left the key for him.

and there are deliveries all week.

He'll be abusing our king-size bed with a procession of uniformed women.

I didn't want to leave the presents in these days of rising crime.

It's just you and me here together,

From my husband. Never mind apres-ski. How about before dinner?

to make a call to Norway, please.

Dad's relatives, and Aunt May's terrier getting suffocated.

I didn't mean to sit on him.

not to mention the missing goldfish.

He'll turn up somewhere. Does he often go off on his own like that?

I'll leave this room for tomorrow.

No. I wanted to ask you something.

Who's going to deliver stuff at this time of night? Someone might,

I just recollect. Have a look in that jacket pocket over there.

Half a smoked-salmon sandwich.

He's green round the gills.

Nobody'll know. He was never active.

PHONE RINGS

I think that might be for me.

Oh, no. Forget it, operator.

Well, just say Mr Collier called and there's nothing to worry about.

There was no other message, only that a Mr Collier rang

Terry rings and says not to worry?

It'll be a honeymoon gag. He'll be furious we weren't in bed. No.

Our lovely new house. We've been through all that, Thelma.

The house has probably been flooded by now, but not to worry.

If something was seriously wrong,

It wasn't sleep I had in mind.

I had enough of that before dinner.

You're going to be the sort of wife

I thought on our honeymoon... I've got other things on my mind. Now is not the right time.

The book said you shouldn't assume there's a right time and place.

or we'll do it on the plane - take your mind off metal fatigue.

You know fine and well that's not

Oh, you're liberated, are you?

And ear muffs and stomach powders.

They're for the slopes. Where you want to make love tomorrow, no doubt.

I'm afraid it's a bit unlived-in.

It's like the Ideal Home Exhibition.

You don't want to crease the seats. They're there to be sat on.

There's some more presents -

Would you like a drink, Susan?

Oh, wine glasses - that's useful.

They're going to be opened sometime.

I was a welder in a tin-plate factory when I discovered it.

There's nothing to put in it? Drink it neat, then smash the glasses.

Does Thelma know you've got the keys? I don't know. Why?

I'm doing them a favour. Peak hours for crime and all these new things.

I think it's very romantic.

You know what they're famous for?

They don't spend all their time

I mean, nothing's been fixed yet.

Well, he's just passed his finals.

And he lives in Toronto, does he?

Yes, but he's English originally -

from Luton till he discovered vodka.

When are you going back? The 21st.

what you're up to? No idea.

Why should he? You're an adult

What I'm trying to say is...

what happens here...doesn't have any bearing on what happens there.

the situation here is not affected

"out of sight, out of mind."

That's what I'm trying to say. Yes.

There's a bit of a Norseman in you. Lots of Viking blood round here.

Sod it! Who the hell's that?

Long-distance? Hello. Yeah?

Hello, Bob. What you ringing for?

You don't tell people not to worry, unless they should be worrying.

are just having a nightcap.

All right! All right! How's Thelma?

evening. You haven't helped mine.

Like I said, nothing to worry about. So he's broken in, I suppose?

He found it in the goldfish bowl.

Terry and Susan. What? At this time of night? Oh, does it matter?

Yes! She's engaged to Peter.

Trust you to be flippant about infidelity. It's a nightcap. What?

Terry'll be making love to her in our bed that isn't even paid for.

I can tell something's wrong.

About him not helping your evening.

You took things for granted.

There's nothing to apologise for.

It's just the situation, being

Shall I ring you during the week?

Good, because it's wrong to assume

We should take our ski boots off.

we ought to ring Terry later.

we're having a smashing time

it's been a disaster. I will.

Thelma out the bathroom yet?

We're having a really smashing time.

I'm sorry about last night.

How did the window get broken

The ladder fell where? What do you mean not to worry? Hello, Thelma!

I've never seen you look lovelier.

Absolutely nothing. Not to worry.

Just the window. You look lovely.

He's 100 miles away but he's still here. I'll have to live with that.

Darling. I want you to ask Terry

I'll adjust. I'll look after

we can catch a few moments together.

Intelfax subtitles by Kate Shaw