Theatre of War imagine...

This programme contains strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting

It's January 22nd, 2012.

At the Theatre Royal, Haymarket, something quite unique is taking place.

Unique not only for British theatre, but for world theatre.

It's the first night, and indeed the last night,

of a very unusual one-off play,

called The Two Worlds of Charlie F,

to be performed to a gala audience, speckled with showbiz glitterati,

who know only that they've come to witness a courageous,

but highly risky theatrical experiment,

unlike anything ever attempted before.

Nice to see you. Are you well?

I'm well. Anxious about this.

I've got no idea what to expect.

I can't wait. But I'm more nervous now than I've ever been in me life.

I hear it's very emotional, so I've brought lots of tissues.

The Theatre Royal is London's oldest theatre,

but it won't have seen anything like this in its 300-year history.

You see, the actors are not actors, but professional soldiers,

now facing a new and daunting challenge -

to perform in a play based on their own experiences of war.

All of them have been badly injured, mostly in Afghanistan.

Many are still recovering and in pain.

Good evening, Bravo 22 Company,

this is your five-minute call, you have five minutes.

None of them have ever acted before.

Not even in a village hall, let alone a West End stage.

Only Royal Marine Cassidy Little from Canada

has any showbiz experience.

A failed stand-up comedian turned Commando,

he's the victim of a Taliban mine that cost him his right leg

and two of his closest comrades.

Quiet on stage, please, lights going out.

Stand by please, one and two.

This is not to be a fiction,

but a very public reliving of recent past experiences

in a distant theatre of war,

that civilians cannot begin to imagine.

The new company, Bravo 22 as it's called, has lived their war -

now they're going to perform it to a packed house.

But can they pull it off?

Sound cue one, LX803.

Go.

HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING

This is, this is... It's beautiful.

-Nice and cool, isn't it?

-Look at that. This is unbelievable.

So you've got Owen over there on the chairs and Stephen Rayne as well.

Rocking.

It's October 4th, 2011,

and Cassidy walks into the Theatre Royal for the first time

to meet the director and writer of the play he's volunteered to be in.

But not one word of which is yet written.

To start something from scratch with amateurs,

with amateurs who are undergoing recovery,

recuperation, from... some of them very serious injuries,

is a really big challenge,

and it's completely against the normal process that we would go through,

you know, in terms of... Owen would have an idea for a story

-and he'd go away and start writing it.

-Yeah.

I would be given a play that I would want to do for whatever reason

-and then you would start planning it.

-Yeah.

This way you have to say, well, no, we haven't got the play yet,

we haven't got the story yet.

What we have got are 20 to 30 people telling us stories of their lives

and what can we make out of that, you know?

So it's a very big, scary adventure.

Only six months ago, Cassidy,

who actually studied dance before he joined the Marines,

had his right leg blown off by a Taliban IED,

an Improvised Explosive Device, the number-one killer in Afghanistan.

The idea is that a play will emerge organically

from the recollections of all these soldiers,

soon to be actors,

who, like Cassidy, have volunteered to share their stories

with Stephen the director and, in particular, with Owen, the writer.

It's a massive mountain to climb.

We'll set up base camp here and head for the summit in the morning.

It's my job to, sort of, heighten the elements of their experiences

and their speech in such a way that it can live in this space

and that it can speak to an audience sitting here

who will be coming cold to a subject and to issues that we'll have,

you know, by then spent almost three months being immersed in.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you fell off your bike,

and your hand got rubbed against the grit and your knees got rubbed against the grit

and your whole body kind of bounced along the pavement and you...

That initial pain, you don't really feel it,

but then suddenly you have this pulsing,

you know, "Ow, ow, ow, ow... What the fuck?"

Owen, as writer, has to feed off Cassidy's searing experience of frontline warfare.

EXPLOSIONS

And those of many others as well.

Must have blacked out for a split second,

cos next thing I know I wake up,

I open my eyes and there's the blue sky, there's no sound and no pain.

And it just...

It's like a little Hamlet moment -

you have two little seconds to yourself, like that.

Then it all kicks in again.

The shouting, the screaming.

GUNFIRE AND SHOUTING

I tried to sit myself up, couldn't, I couldn't move at all,

and when they put me on the stretcher,

that's when I noticed both my legs were gone.

And then more pain kicked in

and I pretty much screamed myself unconscious.

SHOUTING

GUNFIRE

I got shrapnel straight through the back of my brain.

The main impact is the... Is the brain injury

and the subsequent brain impairments that I've now got

which are with me for the rest of my life.

I have a metal plate with some screws holding my left knee together.

I'm, I'm in absolute agony

and I take so many pain killers.

I've tried all of them just to get through, get through the day.

I was so miserable, so depressed, so down, so not me,

I had retreated into this black shell that was inside of my head.

Drinking.

Depression, drinking, depression and it was overwhelming, actually.

I lost my job in the Marines,

lost my wife.

I lost something within myself as well.

To me, everything was falling away, sort of thing.

And because of my behaviour as well...

The material that we've been gathering in the interviews that we've been doing

is really quite extraordinary.

And I think that, you know, after each conversation

we both have a sense of there's something there that can be used.

You're off your face on the medications they've given you and...

Cos you've just woken up, you know, you start seeing things, hallucinations.

I thought the Taliban had got me.

I started screaming for help. Like, "Help, help, fuck you, help!"

Then I went into I'm Henry The VIII, I Am and sang two verses of that.

Did you know them before?

No. No, no.

I think I only knew the first one and then I kind of...

-I think I might have...

-Invented the second one.

-Improvised.

At this stage all we can do is listen.

All we can do is listen to these guys' stories

and that, of course, is beginning to give us lots of ideas,

but until we get those guys in a rehearsal room

with lots of ideas, we don't know what we're going to come up with.

So it's a huge exercise and leap of faith in each other and in them,

and in the belief that by the end of a couple of months

we will have something worth putting on a stage

that not only they will enjoy doing, but that people will want to watch.

Brixton, London.

And Bravo 22 Company assembles for the first day of rehearsals.

There are just ten weeks to the performance.

-Morning.

-Hello.

I thought I'd be a lot more nervous than I am, actually.

Maybe I'm fooling myself,

but all of these guys, they're entering a world that they're not used to at all.

The most important thing is that the people who theoretically do know what they're doing

are very calm and relaxed and... you know, give them confidence.

Chris, if you take pictures of me falling out of a minibus,

I'll be mega pissed off with you.

-Well, don't fall, then.

-That would upset me.

Well, don't fall out, yeah.

Make me particularly grumpy.

-Morning.

-Good morning.

I would like to say, first of all, thank you very much for being here.

I was slightly terrified I was going turn up

and there was going to be this empty hall in Brixton,

so it's fantastic to see you all here.

In a conventional production, this is the point when I'd be handing out the script,

but as you've already gathered,

this is very far from a conventional theatrical production.

So the meat on the bone of the script, if you like,

is really going to be found in this room and with you.

I'm going to be doing an awful lot of just observing and watching,

and listening.

And then also they'll be an ongoing dialogue, really,

between the stuff that I'm writing, which will be drawn from what happens in here,

and then bringing that back into this room,

where it will morph and it'll change,

um, and we will begin to shape the play in here.

But the last thing I want to say

is that I do very much see this play as being your play,

as being your voice.

And my aspiration is for the piece to feel very true

and very authentic for all of you here.

I think that's it. Thank you very much again.

Very good. Thanks, Owen.

I genuinely can't imagine how stressful it is for guys like Owen,

because, you know what I mean, it's got to be insane.

Cos, you know, to be a writer and a director and a producer,

and not actually have the script has got to be, like, nuts.

You know, like it's not... You've got to be losing sleep.

So I don't envy any of them, to be fair.

-How are you feeling, are you looking forward to it?

-Me? Man, I can't wait, I can't wait.

It's like a ski hill, I'm just at the top looking down at it. It's great.

So look, each day we're going to begin the day

with what we call a warm-up.

What it means is just getting us focused

so that we can start the day kind of all in the same place, yeah?

OK, and what I want you to do is just find somebody as partner.

Doesn't matter who they are, find somebody and sit opposite them, OK?

Just make one of you an A and one of you a B, OK.

So, just decide between you.

I'm going to give you two minutes, As, OK,

to tell Bs the story of your life,

but you've only got two minutes to tell it. OK, all right. Go.

I grew up in north Yorkshire, got two brothers, mum and dad,

and lots of dogs and lots of horses.

Dad was in the Army so travelled a lot about when I was a kid.

I went to a primary school, Mountfield Lodge.

And then once I was in Canada, started bartending, did a lot of drinking, partying...

Bravo 22 Company start from square one.

Amongst them, as reinforcements, will be five professional actors,

two men and three women,

who'll provide at least a spine of experience and ability.

The majority though, some 15, are complete novices

and they'll be taking the lead roles on stage

as well as behind the scenes.

All are contending with a range of life-changing injuries,

from partial blindness to loss of limb,

and chronic spinal damage to traumatic brain injury.

That entails driving all the vehicles in the British Army with the Royal Logistic Corps.

After beating up a policeman,

the judge turned round and told me that I needed to find an exit for my violent tendencies,

so I joined the Army.

All of them have had the experience of being in a military company,

but now they have to quickly get into the idea

of being part of a theatrical company.

For the last month Steve and I have been introduced to their world.

We've got, I'd say, a week to properly introduce them to our world

so that we can start working properly as quickly as possible.

WHISTLING AND SINGING

Some of the interesting things that you do in the Marines

as part of the bonding process

you can apply the same principles to this place,

which is stripping down the inhibitions,

getting down to the real person

and then seeing if you match up with other people.

In the Marines, you make some lifelong friends.

In the theatre, the connections that you'll make and the friends you'll make will be just as long.

-And so you're still up for this?

-Oh, yeah.

No, you would have to pry me away, literally, with a crowbar,

big black crowbar.

Just try and move together so that I really can't tell who is doing that.

And if you're confident that you're able to do it with, sort of,

one hand or one arm, then you can begin to add another element,

like the other hand or a foot.

I don't want to be able to tell who's leading the movement.

Oh, oh, I could see you were leading that, Maurillia. Slower. Slower.

OK, first off...a chair.

I want a doorway. Doorway.

Ten, the number ten.

The Eiffel Tower.

I want to see that shape, everybody.

I want it to be very fat at the bottom and very tall at the top.

How are going to do that?

I actually think this group has it. Yes, well done.

Wasn't quite tall enough at the top. I don't know what...

-How was that? Was that what you expected?

-Not expected, but funny.

It was funny, weren't it?

Got to jump at the opportunity to make yourself look like a tit.

We're so indoctrinated by the Army, we can't seem to say no.

It's like, "I'll do this, sir."

That's why we're all in a bad way, cos we can't say no.

"So are you going to do Operation Certain Death?"

"Yeah, I'll give it a go, see how it goes."

WHOOPING NOISES

It's a bold project, that's for sure,

and I think everybody who's involved in it

is incredibly brave and really stepping outside their comfort zone.

A lot of people run marathons, want to go and climb a mountain,

and actually, we've got an opportunity to do something

so totally different, I think... I think it's going to be...

it's going to be an adventure.

WHOOPING NOISES

A fantastic first day. This is really about building a company

and starting to get a sense of people's characters,

and I think, quite naturally,

as the person who is going to be shaping the text of this,

I've got very normal first day nerves, cos it...your...

your instinct is that you want to know what the play is.

You want to know what the scenes are. But I'm having to resist that

cos I think it's... it's really important

not to lock ourselves down too early, actually.

So yeah, very apprehensive but very excited.

WHOOPING AND WAILING

It's the beginning of an era, isn't it?

-It is, it is.

-Beginning of an era.

It's mind-blowing at the minute, a little bit.

It's starting to pile up.

I think the pyramid is now starting to build,

so when we get to the top we'll see how we go.

We'll definitely see how we go.

But the pyramid is building, is building. It's awesome.

Awesome. Good.

End of Day One.

'It's Day Four and Stephen and Owen have already upped the ante.'

-Morning, my friend.

-Morning.

They want the play to have music, dance and song.

-How are you?

-I'm good, I'm good, thanks. How are you?

Yes, not too bad. Not too bad.

-Ready for a bit of music today?

-Pardon?

-Ready for a bit of music today?

-Yeah a bit of la-la-la-la-la.

-Yeah, yeah. Do I sound ready?

-Yeah, you've got the job.

Yeah. I knew you'd be back when we start singing.

This morning, I am hoping to do a nice slow vocal warm-up

and then see what they can do singing-wise,

and then hopefully we're going to sing Men Of Harlech

and see if we can learn some harmonies

and whether that throws them into a panic

or whether they're actually all natural-born singers and musicians.

I'm terrified of singing. Especially in front of people. Just terrified.

I'm embarrassed if I'm the only person in the house,

I've got all the windows closed and all the doors closed

and I'm in the shower and I know no-one can hear me,

I'm still embarrassed about singing.

Which is strange cos I come from a long line of musical people.

But I am terrified of singing in public.

THEY SING SCALES

GUNFIRE

While the Company of Bravo 22

immerse themselves in musical theatre,

Owen is engrossed in the theatre of war.

Over a very short period of time,

I think it's really essential for me to learn as much of the world

that the cast have experienced as possible, you know,

and fantastically, I've got these rushes

that have been shot over the last couple of years,

following troops around Afghanistan and...

..it's proving to be incredibly useful, actually,

in terms of learning that world and having your ear attuned

to certain phrases, for language, you know,

for all kinds of things, you know.

It's that classic thing of

you don't always know what you're looking for until you find it.

Two, three, and...

# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba

# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba... #

You're on patrol in Nad Ali North. It's gone horribly wrong.

You've stood on that device. What's going to happen to your body?

How many injuries is he going to receive?

Think about it. How high is the amputation going to be?

Your leg has now come off from there.

We'll take your leg off from there.

What other injuries is John going to have?

Shrapnel? Where's he going to get shrapnel?

He's going to get frag to the side of his neck,

big chunks missing out of his legs from all the stones and crap

that's come up off the floor. Where's that rifle going to go?

Straight into his grid. He's going to get a fractured jaw along there.

He'll probably get a fractured zygome.

Bit of blast ear, coming out there,

over pressure into the lung, blast lung.

Lose a couple of fingers coming off there,

maybe a chunk missing out of the forearm.

Dislocated shoulder up there.

It goes on and it goes on and it goes on.

What's the first question you Royals always ask when you've been blown up?

Are my cock and balls still there?

And I'll go, "Yeah, but you're going to be

"pissing in six different directions for the rest of your life."

# The grand old Duke of York He had ten thousand men

# He marched them up to the top of the hill

# Then he marched them down again

# And when they were up, they were up

# And when they were down, they were down

# And when they were only halfway up... #

I mean, this is...

This is a great example of almost a piece of found theatre.

It's incredibly visual, and yet also,

for me, I think it's doing something very powerful, you know.

It's boiling down into the real sort of simplicity of war. The essence.

And the fact that he's actually drawing on him,

I suppose I'm finding that quite striking.

It almost looks like the sort of diagrams that you see

of you, know battle, manoeuvres and yet it's actually happening on...

on this soldier's body.

It's the kind of thing that no-one's ever told me about

and that I wouldn't have known about unless I'd seen this.

'You're going to have arteries running along the inside of the arm.

'This is called the brachial artery.'

# Men of Harlech, honour calls us

# No proud Saxon e'er appals us

# On we march whate'er befalls us

# Never shall we fly. #

Same tune, next bit.

Seeing so much footage of the feet, of the patrolling boots,

I suppose it's sort of focusing my mind about how, on the ground,

the war really sort of comes down to that level, you know.

It's that old military phrase, "Boots on the ground."

But it means so much in an environment where,

I think it's safe to say, the majority of the woundings

are caused by IEDs.

# Forward ever, backward never

# This proud foe astounding

# Fight for father Sister, mother... #

You know, on the ground it's a very, very human experience

and it's kind of ageless in all its tragedy.

# We will win or die. #

SHOUTING AND SCREAMING

-Fuck! You all right?

-Yeah, yeah I'm good.

-Keep fucking looking, mate.

-What's that supposed to mean?

You're going to be all right.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck!

You've stepped on an IED, you're going to be fine.

-You're going to be fine.

-I'm going to fucking die.

You've still got these, mate. You're all right there.

OK. Dan...

let him check your nuts, then "I'm going to die," OK?

Initial ideas for the script are acted out,

all based on personal experience.

Like that of Dan Shaw, who until July 26th, 2009,

was a six-foot-five rifleman.

I lost my legs when I was 18.

We were just on a routine patrol and unfortunately I hit an IED.

I don't remember anything before the patrol itself.

I just remember going to bed the night before

and then, all of a sudden, I... I woke up

a couple of weeks later and I was in Selly Oak Hospital.

I'm going to fucking die. I'm going to fucking die.

-You're not going to fucking die.

-Oh, I'm going to fucking die.

Just give me...give me a cigarette! Give me a fucking cigarette!

I can't give you a fag, mate. I can't.

Come on, I'm going to fucking die. Just give me what I want!

At first they told me what happened

and I kind of just drowned it out,

like I didn't really want to hear it and I think, you know,

cos what they told me was I was awake for the whole incident

and I think my brain had just shut it out,

saying to myself, you know,

"You don't need to know what happened."

So I carried on with my life. It doesn't affect me.

My mum, my dad, it was hard for them.

I personally think that it was harder for them to deal with it

than me to deal with it because I was so young

and, you know, they see their little boy grow up into this man.

But I always keep a smile on my face, which I generally do.

I ain't done this in a while.

'Just keep smiling all the time.'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

At what time should I call the ambulance, mate?

Now, mate. I'm frigged.

Believe it or not,

Dan has got himself cast as one of the dancers in the play.

Oh, you just...don't know if my stumps are OK.

I could be...my stumps could be severely injured,

she just jumps on my stumps.

I'm not bothered. Let's go for a ride.

Go for a ride.

All right! Giga-da-giga-da-goo!

I've had the easiest job in a way, doing movement,

because a lot of them find the physical side of this quite easy

because they've used their bodies a lot in their job.

And they've been really open and I've had no barriers up at all.

They just, they just go for it.

Just when...when you're bringing that one over to there,

watch where your knees go, cos that one's fine.

-But that one's still sore?

-Yeah. If you just try and keep them up here.

The only one of the three wheelchair dancers

with dance experience is Royal Marine, Cassidy Little.

-Are you...are you sturdy like that?

-I'm sturdy.

-OK.

MUSIC: "Yes" by Antony and the Johnsons

I started quite young in dance and...

and I actually ended up doing, getting a scholarship for it

and, you know, going to university to study it and all sorts of things.

But unfortunately,

recent events have prevented my future dancing career, so...

Everything about it, the movement, the shape,

that's what I was doing and now...now I'm not.

Now I'm just sitting in a chair. You know, I'm wheeling upstage,

downstage, wheeling around in a circle.

OK, yeah, the...the interactive stuff with each other is great.

I just... It's the first time I've been in this environment, you know,

with this cast and crew that I can honestly say I miss my foot.

Because, you know, it would mean if I had my foot back

I would be up dancing.

So...

I miss my foot.

'Do you remember when you were a kid and you fell off your bike

'and your hand got rubbed against the grit

'and your knees got rubbed against the grit and you...

'and your whole body kind of...'

One of the most time consuming things is actually trawling through

all of the audio files of the early interviews that I've been doing

with the guys and just listening to it again and again.

With a view to, again, you know, pulling out those moments

that not only you instinctively feel might work in the play

but as more and more of the play is written, it's sort of...

It's sorts of closing down your options as well.

'I don't remember anything of the day.

'I don't remember waking up, I don't remember eating breakfast.

'I don't remember getting orders.

'I don't remember loading up, leaving the compound.'

I don't remember...

..getting to the compound where the bomb went off.

The next thing I know

I'm in the middle of a horrific hallucination.

I thought that I was being interrogated by a Taliban nurse.

Help! Help, I'm over here! Help, please!

-Can you remember your name?

-ANA!

-You'll wake the other patients.

-ANA!

'I'm screaming and I'm yelling at the doctors and the consultants.

'Calling them traitors and then in walked Laura, my fiancee.

'And, of course, I broke down in tears then

'because I figured that she'd been captured by the Taliban.

'I couldn't... it didn't make any sense.'

Charlie, it's me.

Oh, fucking Jesus. How did they fucking get you?

Have they fucking touched you?

Have they fucking touched anything on your head?

How did they get you?

If you've fucking touched one fucking hair on her head,

I'll fucking...!

He was having awful hallucinations in hospital.

He...and he was really big. I mean, he was huge

because the shock had obviously caused his body to fill with...

with fluid, so his... his lips were really puffy,

even though he had a... he was intubated.

But he did just look like Cassidy and it was such a relief.

And I just have no idea about the numbers of...

Of lads that were coming back injured.

I mean, I couldn't believe it, that first...the first weekend

when I was living down in Birmingham at the hospital,

and then the second weekend,

and they just kept coming in and coming in and coming in.

You know, double amputees, triple amputees.

Guys without genitals, guys without eyes. Guys without fingers.

And I was shocked at the numbers that just kept coming through the system.

Just coming in, coming in, coming in.

'You know that feeling when you come off your bike, you know, as a kid?

'D'you remember that pain?

'The one where you, the one you feel at first.' Wrong.

'The one you don't feel at first.'

GUNFIRE

SHOUTING

GUNFIRE

Start dropping on it.

Hello, 63. This is 63 Alpha.

That's it, Liam, perfect. Yeah, great. Slow, slow, slow.

'2008, in Afghanistan, we got ambushed from a couple of sides

'and, erm, yeah, we took a heavy weight of fire.

'There was a flash. Explosion.'

Just a few bursts and keep them suppressed...!

'I didn't realise I'd lost the sight in my right eye.

'It's my shooting eye as well, so, my rifle eye.'

I think...

for me personally, I think it was more the psychological side

that affected me in my everyday life

and losing the sight of my right eye.

Like, I drunk quite a lot as well

and consequently it just landed me in a lot of trouble with the police.

I had a few accounts of assault, ABH.

Just...it just must have been...don't know...

something aggressive, quite...

inside triggered off I think after a few drinks.

I don't know if it's just ideas of me trying to get revenge.

'I just go out on it all day. I don't give a fuck.

'I get wound up, wound up by the smallest thing

'and I just want to smash something up. Or someone.'

Only when you drink.

'Well, the drink makes it worse.

'The anger's there all the time and it's little images like,

'fucking, I don't know, when an IED blew a mate's hands off,

'the look in his eyes, that sort of thing.'

You're on probation now, aren't you?

Bravo 22 Company is beginning to get into its acting stride.

But let's remember that all these actors are seriously damaged,

physically and emotionally. They're still mending.

I walk into the rehearsal room every morning

not quite sure who's going to be there.

Obviously the guys, you know, are sick some days,

sometimes their meds haven't worked properly,

they've had a bad night's sleep so they can't come and rehearse,

so it's always a bit of a lottery.

Hi there, Taff, how you doing? It's Owen here.

I'm just giving you a quick ring cos we've heard from the guys

that you're not feeling too great

and you're staying in the accommodation today.

Would be great to have a chat, firstly to ask

if there's anything we can do to help, if there's anything...

or anyone who you'd like to talk to

cos unless a doctor's kind of signed you off and seen you and said

that you have to stay in bed you really, really have to be here.

But when they told me it was the hardest training in the world,

there was no fucking way I was going to quit, was there?

What's happened?

So Taff, one of our soldiers, one of our cast,

hasn't turned up today and apparently...

we're not quite sure why. Erm, but it is...

it's one of the challenges of this project is that

all the guys are on a huge amount of medication,

they're very kindly now trying to pull back from medication

so they can focus, so they can stay awake

and I just hope that isn't meaning that, you know,

it kind of messes up their sleep patterns

or they're in so much pain that they're always exhausted and stuff.

It's...it's just one of the features of this unique production!

All right, Jase, thank you.

# Codeine, Tramadol Benzadryl, Oramorph

# Paracetamol, MSD

# Amitryptyline, Diazepam... #

I've got Tramadol, which is a pain killer.

You know, this is really basic, you know, to keep me going.

These are just paracetamol, it's fine.

But I used to be on morphine and all sorts and it just didn't work.

But then, you know, I sort of...

I'm on the edge and I've got to tweak it.

It's like a system, you know.

Yeah, it's not the end of the... you know, I'm lucky,

I've got my legs and I've got my arms.

I can still do a lot more than a lot...lot of people.

THEY SING

Relax.

Ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy! I want ecstasy on ketamine.

Whatever it does to you, please be ecstatic, OK?

As the weeks pass, there's an increasing emphasis placed

on routine, repetition, discipline and teamwork.

..Two, three, four, five, six, turn!

One, two, three...

The parallels between the world of theatre and the world of the army

are really interesting and more and more of those are coming out.

Even this... the whole concept of rehearsals and drilling and drilling

and going through the movements... yeah, I mean like every few days

you'll hear people say, 'Oh, it's a bit like being in the army.'

Ba-a-a-ang!

But what we're trying to get right now is the voice of the piece,

the real heart of it, the tone of it.

And there's three or four people who are really revealing themselves

to have some real talent, I think.

# I sing because I'm happy

# I sing because I'm free

# For his eye is on the sparrow

# And I know... #

When I was seven years old, I had a dream.

I was going to live where the Queen lived

and I was going to be a soldier.

That day I saw the Queen, aged seven,

she came to visit my country,

Trinidad and Tobago, on Independence Day,

one of her royal visits.

And we all lined the streets of San Fernando waving

and I just saw her in this pink matching suit, hat,

and I just shouted,

"I'm going to live where you live."

And as we were waving she had on a pink hat and a matching suit.

And as she waved, I was shouting,

"I'm going to live where you live!

"I'm going to live where you live."

And then I had my dream,

and I told my mother about it while she was combing my hair.

OK now, that's good darling, that's lovely.

Just having the two points of focus...

Maurillia's dream was to be a soldier in the Queen's Army.

It was a dream that was realised, then shattered.

What's led me to this place?

To be honest, it came at a time

where I still couldn't get my head round being injured.

You know, having everything that I worked for just taken

within the twinkle of my eye, you know.

Having, being...

becoming disabled, you know, it was hard. Really, really hard.

But then when you get with other injured servicemen and women

and you experience their pain, you realise,

"Well, wait,

"I went through that."

"I'm taking those meds. That's the same effect it has on me."

And our stories then entwine with each other.

For two years I couldn't sleep.

Every fucking night, just images flickering through.

Being blown up, Yanks on fire running into walls.

Crawling through dead bodies in some fucking IED factory. Just images...

It seems empty.

-Well, it obviously fucking wasn't, was it?!

-But we saw them leaving.

We saw them fucking leaving.

It's going to be...

a play, in a play, in a play, in a play.

The message of

men and women, going through... the darkest place,

the happy place,

the alone place.

The pain place.

The scared place.

You know, the dying place.

The wish if you were dead place is...

is so rounded and so full of...

of life,

that it's going to be amazing.

# Scared to close my eyes

# Scared to put my head on the pillow

# Worse at night Always worse at night. #

It's the pain that triggers it.

It's always there, bubbling away.

But worse at night, always worse at night.

One of the really interesting things was feeling how, for about, I suppose,

five of the characters,

they actually developed very strong, specific arcs.

So, for example, Lyndon's character, Richard,

his kind of main emotional axis, is very much with his mother,

and so his story is a mother-son story.

"Dear Rich... a few more parcels for you.

"No chocolate like you asked but lots of Haribo and shower gel."

My character is basically, me, to be honest.

Almost in every way, it's about me,

you know, it goes from being happy and motivated

to breaking down,

snappy.

These are all things that you could apply to yourself?

Yeah, for over the last couple of years, definitely.

No matter how black it was,

I'd always, you know, try and put a smile on,

especially for my mother...

..so I, sort of, kept a lot of it in.

She's like me, though. She hid everything,

kept it to herself.

But you can always tell, can't you?

That was the vehicle Lyndon was in.

What was left of it.

They weren't looking for anybody still alive in it.

Yeah, they thought I was a pink mist.

Cos it was at night time, as well, and they couldn't find me.

So, they thought I was just pink mist

and blown up into every little bit.

They thought you were killed?

Yeah.

Well, you'd think so, looking at the vehicle, wouldn't you?

When I first saw him,

to find out how ill he was and how wrecked he was,

I mean he still had sand in his... in his belly button.

He still had sand in his toes from the... from the desert.

He still had cordite, you know, um, on him.

It was just, um, from the explosion.

He was coughing up cordite all the time

and to see your son like that, with broken teeth, he can't feed himself,

he can't move off the bed because his back's broken,

he had shrapnel wounds as well,

to his legs,

his groin, his arms, his face.

So, it was...

He was different to the lad I waved goodbye to. Yeah.

But at the end of the day, he's my son, isn't he?

He's my baby.

I'd never stop him.

Well, it's hard. Yeah, it is, seeing your boy go off like that.

I don't think I can put it into words how proud I am.

-(VOICE CRACKS)

-And that he's here.

Because there's no way he should be here.

He shouldn't... he shouldn't be here.

The nature of the conflict

and the issues that individuals have to deal with at such a young age...

I mean that's what's really hit me between the eyes,

is that, you know,

a lot of these guys, when they, sort of, take up their weapons

and they go to war, they're boys, you know.

And also, you get a sense, via them,

of the level of destruction out there as well

and so it's definitely opened my eyes, and there was a period,

I'd say in the first two or three weeks of rehearsal,

where I'd just had a month of interviewing them,

I got a little taste, just a tiny taste, I think,

of some of the anger that they must sometimes feel.

We didn't mean to cause offence. Sorry.

Are you with them too, them?

Who the fuck is them?

-Well, the soldiers.

-Yeah, I am.

Well then, sorry, what's wrong with you?

Oh, I don't know. I broke me back in two places.

I had a disc at C5 and C7 removed.

I'm addicted to meds and when the pain gets too much

I fall over and piss myself in public.

-Why, what's the matter with you?

-All right, mate,

-I was only asking.

-Fucking prick.

Take it easy, mate, take it easy.

I don't really have a social life any more

because, basically...

..the risk of falling over, because occasionally

I've actually pissed myself

with the pain when you go down, and you just...

your bladder just lets go.

There's always that...

..worry that you'll be out having a good time,

something will happen,

you'll be on the floor, and in a puddle of piss, basically.

Which has happened in public before,

and everybody just looks at you like you're a freak.

And you start thinking people think you're just putting it on and...

..and you just become very argumentative with everybody.

What's the matter with you?

'And I mean everybody.'

Fucking prick.

It is very, very rich material

and, you know, the subject areas that we're dealing with

is very rich. It's also very extreme.

My personal aspiration for this piece is that,

although it isn't a political piece with a capital P,

this isn't about, you know,

why we go to war or where we go to war.

But what I hope it is about, is saying that if that choice is made,

fine, you know, make that choice,

as long as you realise this is what those...

this is what those three letters mean. This is what war is.

And I just think we just don't realise that enough.

I was blown to 20 metres.

I heard the rocket coming in.

I was blown 60 feet.

It went over and I hit the roof.

The shrapnel went through the back of my brain.

It shattered my cheek bone.

Apparently, a soldier stood on an undetected IED,

killing him instantly,

and then the shrapnel blast, or the blast from that IED,

then hit my Company Tactical Headquarters,

and I was found in a bush, about 20 metres away, cradling my head.

I realised how serious it was, because, obviously, it was the brain

and they had said it the shrapnel was...

was millimetres away from the spinal cord,

but at the time would never have envisaged

what we've had to live with since.

I imagined it was all going to be physical -

balance and walking and all sorts of things,

but actually we've had a different set of challenges

to overcome emotionally.

And it is quite difficult with the children because

Olivia, very much, sees a different daddy to the one that went away.

Annabel will of course grow up only knowing Stewart as he is now,

but Olivia, it's difficult for her, because Stewart's changed hugely.

I have difficulties with problem solving, attention,

working memory,

modification,

organising, planning, amending.

So, everything that I was in terms of my role,

in terms of my 18 years in the Army,

being an officer, having command, management responsibility,

I'm pretty much ineffective in all of those now.

So, that really is really frustrating for me.

It must have been hard. It must be hard.

It is. I think it, you know and I think if it had have been physical,

it would have been easier to come to terms with and to manage,

because this will never change now.

This is what we will have to live with,

for the rest of Stewart's life.

THEY SING

Not allowed to keep a mobile phone out here,

they're too easy to intercept.

Or, if the enemy get hold of them and they phone the families at home,

tell them that their son or their husband's been captured, which isn't good.

So, each week, we get 20 welfare minutes on the sat-phone instead,

which is great.

Hearing your wife's voice, speaking to the kids.

But it's really hard, too,

you feel the distance.

After speaking with them,

I have to try really hard to disconnect from them again.

Saying goodbye.

That's the hardest,

saying goodbye.

# Kiss kiss, love you

# Kiss kiss, love you

# PS, PS, love you, love you. #

Only ten days to curtain up.

The stress levels are rising.

I swear by Almighty God.

OK, do it again, one, two, three. Just nice and easy.

And Ray Winston, a mentor and patron of the new company,

is here to assess their progress,

and, I suspect, to boost morale.

I went back to my auntie's.

When I came in the door, I said, "Auntie, I'm a soldier."

I was living my dream.

Slowly.

I swear by Almighty God,

that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance

to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, her heirs and successors.

TOGETHER: And that I will, as in duty bound,

honestly and faithfully defend Her Majesty,

her heirs and successors in person,

crown and in dignity against...

Fuck!

..and will observe and obey all orders...

No. No. Her Majesty...

Guys, we've got to learn this.

It's still dragging...

Every production, every rehearsal period,

has its dips and its peaks,

and I think there could be a very tricky time this week.

Light headedness, peeing on the carpet,

all kinds of...

-Line?

-Loss of appetite.

Loss of appetite, pain... shit, dark piss.

Yeah, it's OK, Charlie, I see your point.

The meds...

No, the drugs don't fucking work.

Oi, you lot, get fell in.

This is Crabby's big scene.

He's been struggling with his lines

and the West End is looming.

Stand up straight.

-You, stop looking at me funny.

-Sorry, Serg.

-Serg?

Would you like to massage... No.

Would you like me to massage your... no.

LAUGHTER

-Do serg again.

-Sorry, serg.

Would you like me to massage your passage with my sausage?

Got it the wrong way round anyway.

Right, and you lot, you, get a haircut.

You, fucking sit up straight.

Oi, dribbly chops, you stop dribbling.

And you, think you're funny, sonny boy,

well, I'll soon show you that.

# You will not call me mate

# I am not your friend

# You will not call me sir

# I am not your friend

# You'll call me bombadier

# Look at me in fear

# No matter how sweet I may appear

# I am not your mate... #

COMPANY JOINS SINGING

DIRECTOR ISSUES INSTRUCTIONS

RAY WINSTONE: Is it teatime? Teatime. I can get a nice cup of tea.

-What do you think so far then?

-Oh, it's fucking great.

It is really great. It's just a matter now

just learning the rest of the words, being comfortable with the words

and then performing, you know.

But where they are in this, it's just fantastic, and the writing's great.

-It is, isn't it?

-I think it's brilliant.

I'm actually very excited.

Cup of tea time.

Anyone got a fag?

Anyone got any cigarettes? I nick a fag off someone.

Oh, you're a governor.

I would suggest the next two nights just, all of you,

just go home and just go through the lines, go through the lines.

Once you know them, then you can really fuck about with them, you know.

And relax, cos it's brilliant.

The writing's really good and all. The fucking writing's great.

When you takes the drugs, how does it affect you remembering your lines

and things like that?

It's only, it's only a small part I can't remember. Two paragraphs.

-Yeah, all right.

-The rest of it I can remember.

Right, but that will fix it?

What I'm doing tomorrow, is I'm going to lay right off them.

I'll be in agony and I'll be a twat.

But you know them. It's just the drug that takes it away from you, yeah.

I'm just going to try and man up tomorrow.

You are a man. What are you talking about? Look at you! Look at you!

SLOW, MELODIC MUSIC PLAYS

It's a weird double feeling, isn't it?

There's one part of me that can't wait to get to the Sunday night.

Can't wait to see the lights come up and hear the audience coming in.

And there's the other part of me

that's absolutely shitting myself and wishing that we had another...

another two months.

-Can I say something before I go? Do you mind?

-Of course. Absolutely.

Listen up, boys.

Chaps and girls. Very proud of what you've done today.

I've seen something really... and I'm so up, I can't tell you. It's fantastic.

But do me one favour. Right. And you can see it.

When you know your lines,

when you really know them, and you perform, you're fantastic.

And when you see the eyes go dead when you're forgetting them,

that's when you're losing the performance. And it's this time now.

Right now, is when you've got to know your lines.

Right. Because if you don't know your lines, you're letting your mate down.

And this is a team. Just like it is in the Army, in the forces,

this is a team. So do yourself a favour,

do your mates a favour, go home and learn.

I'm scared, I'm nervous. You know.

It's a lot easier to storm a compound.

It's, um... I'm nervous.

There's a lot of responsibility.

We have a lot of responsibility on that stage.

It's not actually just, you know, the British forces we're representing,

we're representing, kind of, all NATO forces,

and everybody who's ever been involved in any conflict.

It's a huge responsibility and that weight

is starting to get on everybody's shoulder and so we go, you know,

we're starting to band together and put our arms around each other

so that... that weight doesn't feel like,

well, as infinite as it actually is.

You know, one minute, I'm in Afghan, the next minute I'm on the West End.

So, the contrast is unreal.

Yeah, it's craziness.

There's no reason why I accepted to do this.

It's just the sheer craziness of...

oh, yeah, do you want to do this acting in front of 800 people

on a West End stage?

When I tell people, they're like, "No way!"

And it's like, "Yeah, I'm going to."

No, no, it won't happen, no. You'll bottle it, you won't do it.

Yeah, I will trust me. It's going to be good.

Look at that.

God, that brings back memories.

There are now only six days to go.

I'm actually quite looking forward to it.

A little bit nervous but 70% excited, about 30% nervous.

It felt we were never going to move out of Brixton and now we're here.

It's exciting. That is terrifying.

You know when you meet like a really, really, really hot chick

and you get a date?

You're not sure if you're looking forward to it or you're scared,

cos she's really hot, may be a little out of your league, so you're like "Oh, fuck! Oh, my God,

"I've got to make sure I do this right

"or I'll not get a second chance at this."

That's kind of how I feel like. Yeah.

That's kind of what I feel like.

This is a really actory camp thing to say, and some of you will say,

"What the fuck is he talking about?"

But if you imagine that your heads

and your thoughts are as big as this space.

Quite empty!

LAUGHTER

Well, good, Dan! Spot on, mate.

But all I'm saying is that in the rehearsal room

it was kind of, you know, it was absolutely human space.

We're in a bigger void now, OK.

That leads me to another really important point.

The way this show works, why it's so different,

why it's so remarkable, why it's so unique,

is because it's your voices as soldiers, telling your stories.

The danger, let me warn you,

is as you become more familiar with what

you are doing you think, "Oh, I can now start acting.

"I can now start pretending to be somebody else I'm not."

That completely defeats the point of the show.

You have to be yourselves.

The big ask is for the people who are the professional actors,

who are not soldiers, to blend with you.

It's not about you coming up to them,

it's about them blending to what you're doing, OK?

So the audience will think was that a real soldier?

Was that person a real soldier, or were they an actor?

So look, what we should do, guys, is stand by

to go into the common room,

so where does the bed come from,

where do your chairs come from? Get yourselves sorted out,

work out where those positions will be.

It's the first rehearsal on stage,

but as so often with Bravo 22 Company,

there are complications.

I woke up this morning and I can't...

I'm not really passing urine and I think my super-pubic catheter

which is in me stomach, is blocked.

That's my main problem, just to get it like flushed out

or get it changed as soon as possible, and just crack on.

Is Liam with us?

I don't see him.

Liam!

Well, where is he? He's not on stage. I need him on stage now.

Of course we're here in the theatre,

but some of the old problems are still dogging us.

Jack has just been really sick outside,

he's in lots of pain because he hurt his stump last week.

He was in hospital over the weekend. Liam isn't here.

Apparently he's about to arrive but you know,

so... those other issues that you wouldn't normally be coping with

in a normal production,

we are still having to cope with.

"He is here," doesn't work unless I see him.

Alice, look, I don't hang one on

but there's nothing to worry about, it's fine.

I'm here now.

Liam is hungover. He's been up all night drinking.

He's making his excuses to Alice, the producer.

Obviously, obviously, alcohol is something I have to deal with myself.

'You've got a whole company around...'

I know I've got a whole company

but it still don't stop me from going out

and, obviously, losing my mind, does it?

-Is Liam around there?

-Er, no. He's upstairs in his changing room.

Upstairs, yeah?

OK, who's missed their entrance?

Come on, guys, let's get our shit together, come on!

If one of you's not there the whole thing is fucked up.

Honestly, this show, obviously, means a lot to me, more...

-more than you can imagine really.

-'I know it does...'

Look, I know it's my downfall,

but it's what the show is all about, isn't it?

'Yeah, I know...'

Honestly, mate, if there's anything else that we can do to help,

you know, just let us know,

cos, as you said, it is about what this whole play's about

but at this, you know, we're here to help.

Let me just flush this play out.

Guys, we will go back to the beginning of this, so off you go again.

Finally, an hour late, Liam makes it to the stage.

So, same spot, Jamie. Thank you, mate.

Taff, going into Liam, please. Thank you, here we go...

It's not the first time he's gone missing.

Struggling with post-traumatic stress,

Liam's been finding solace in drink.

..just walk into it...

I'll just go out on the piss all day. I don't give a fuck.

Then I'll get wound up by something small

and I'll just want to smash something up...or someone.

Only when you drink?

Drink makes it worse.

The anger's there all the time. There's little images, like...

..fucking, I don't know, when an IED blew my mate's hands off.

The look in his eyes...

There's a growing concern that Liam, living out his part,

could put the whole show at risk.

I'm aware that the play is actually causing things to resurface

and also he's having a hard time, I think, erm...in his personal life.

So I understand that but...

so many good things are happening with this production now,

we can't allow one person to jeopardize it.

Also he's got his sister's wedding tomorrow, after the dress rehearsal,

and, I mean, I'm now just personally worried about,

you know, he needs to turn up sharp and focused on Sunday at 2.30.

I will definitely be back Saturday night.

Early night, ready for Sunday morning.

You going to say on the orange juice, or what?

I may have a couple of beers but nothing like I did last night.

Yeah, it's unfortunate that he couldn't make it on time this morning

and, after all, in the Corp we do pride ourselves on, you know,

being where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there, with what you're supposed to have,

but, at the end of the day, you know, he's got demons that he's got to battle with.

Combat exhaustion. Shell shock...

The reality is, is that everybody wants to say,

"Yeah, yeah it's terrible not showing up when he does,"

but the reality is, is that if he wasn't doing what he was doing would he be here at all?

In the sense that, you know, would he even show up?

So, if this is what he has to do to keep himself together

then fucking A, Royal, do what you've got to do

but just, you know, get the job done.

He's got a wedding on Saturday.

Oh, fuck!

-HE LAUGHS

-Jesus. Oh!

'..combat stress reaction,'

post-combat disorder, post-war disorder,

post-traumatic illness, post-traumatic disorder...

..post-traumatic stress disorder.

-I need Cass and Sam.

-I'm here, buddy!

-Good.

-Here...

Our producer's been off for the last couple of days,

sick with something rather unpleasant,

and it seems that she may...

may have infected a couple of the company members before she left!

-There's a slight irony there.

-Yes, indeed, there is.

My eyes are killing me, my nose is blocked,

my throat is killing me and my body just feels drained.

My head's pounding, my stomach's...not feeling great.

I keep coughing...up puke, which isn't very nice.

-How much do you think I'm going to be sick?

-A bucketful! THEY LAUGH

They do say there is this expression, "doctor theatre,"

that people will pull through, but we'll just have to see.

I mean, I can't have people throwing up on stage, that wouldn't be right.

HE RETCHES VIOLENTLY

HE RETCHES VIOLENTLY

I just helped to carry out a bucket which had sick leaking from the bottom of it

and then we had to wash it on the street

but I think Dan, I think he'll carry on,

I think he's going to do it, so...

-ALL:

-My weapon, myself!

# Ba-da-bom-bom-bom! # Salute. OK, hold it.

So, Colin, we've got some horrible bass rumbling

going on at the bottom of that...

I just thought, "I've got a bag of drugs here."

Apparently Lyndon's been ill,

so we've got Lemsips, Strepsils, Ibroprufen, Dioralyte, erm...

If anyone has felt as awful as I felt then they need lots of drugs.

An hour or so later, Dan, always a trooper, prepares to go on stage.

-My weapon, myself!

-My weapon, myself!

-My weapon, myself! ALL:

-My weapon, myself!

EXPLOSION BOOMS

FUCK, are you all right, mate?

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, you fucking look it, mate(!)

You're going to be all right, mate. You're going to be all right.

-Oh, fuck! Oh, FUCK!

-HE SCREAMS

You're going to be fine, you're going to be fine.

You've still got your balls, mate, they're still there.

I'm going to fucking die. Give me a FUCKING cigarette!

You are not going to die.

I can't give you a fag, mate, I can't....

'I feel a little bit better, though, I feel a little bit better.'

Alice just keeps giving me loads of drugs, so, you know.

I know I'm getting a little bit better.

My headache's still there, my sore throat's still here,

I've still got a cold.

My mouth's always dry, my body's aching,

'but they're all saying that the being blowing up scene

'was the best I've done so far.'

Sorry, no, just relax there, we're just lighting it, just hold on...

Whilst Dan is upping one sort of medication,

most of the cast, already on a cocktail of pain-killing drugs,

are having to reduce their intake to keep their heads clear for the show.

..make it two. OK, lights will go down much quicker, here we go, guys.

Just go back a cue.

Just in time for round two.

Slower.

# Codeine, tramadol, Ventolin

# Paracetamol, LSD... #

'The Paracetamol's obviously a very effective pain killer, sudamenafin.'

Erm, the ranitidine, again, protects the stomach from the diclofenac,

which is non-steroidal anti-inflammatory,

and tramadol is a synthetic opiate.

Erm, pregabalin, that's for nerve pain,

to do with my back and, obviously, phantom pain.

# ..paracetamol, LSD... #

'I cut my medication in half for the performance

'cos I didn't want to, you know, a medically-induced coma on stage!'

'So it's a little bit more discomfort'

but I can live with it and that's, kind of, healthier

than putting this colossal amount of pharmaceuticals into my body.

'If you get the right combination of drugs right

there shouldn't be a disruption and that's the fucking goal.

'And I should be able to take the drugs that I need to take,'

drive, I should be able to go for a run...ish.

I should be able to drink - well, not really

but I should just be able to live normally, function normally

'and not feel any discomfort.

'And as my body gets used to the discomfort,

'I slowly reduce the drugs and the next thing you know,'

the only I'm missing is a leg! Ha!

OK. Dan, just hold that...

hold the jazz hands for just a beat longer, to the music...

'I thought the guys did a really, really good job'

in that, in that dress.

People like Dan - I mean, he's feeling terrible I know.

I mean, I had the bug he's got now and he REALLY performed well.

'The technical staff now, actually, has to meet our cast.

'No-one's fault, we could do with another week, you know.'

But isn't it amazing that I'm worrying about technical dramatic detail

with a bunch of guys I met two and a half months ago

-who...were squaddies?

-Absolutely.

-Mate... I know you're going to this wedding.

-Yes.

Please, priorities are that you are here 12 o'clock tomorrow...

compos mentis...

Sober.

Sober, not hungover.

Please, just, you know, next 24 hours, really important.

Really important for the company, mate, all right?

-Yeah, I'll be here sober.

-On record. All right, OK, good, take care.

-Have a good time!

-OK.

See you, Liam. Be good!

'The time is now ten to one on the morning of January 22nd,'

so we're already on the day of the Bravo 22 performance,

and I'm just here at the Union Jack Club, erm,

waiting for Liam to come back from his sister's wedding.

I wouldn't necessarily say that this is normally the writer's job...

but because so much is at stake for...so many people...

..you know, it's just...

I think...it does no harm just to really make sure

that, erm, Liam gets his beauty sleep.

How you doing?

Yeah, it was really good actually.

-Good.

-I'm back!

-Well, done, mate.

-It's very, very good to see you back.

Yeah, cab's going to try and park his car.

-How was it, how was it?

-I'm back, mate.

I've been to the wedding, now I'm back.

Sleep well, sleep well. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Everyone should have had more faith in me.

Thank you for being here.

Owen, come on. You could always believe in me.

I know. I never doubted you, never doubted you!

-I'll see you bright and early.

-Yeah.

Look, this is what we've been working for

for two months, you know? This is it! The day has arrived.

So I just want you to go out there...

-I am so proud of all of you, you've done FANTASTICALLY.

-I'm proud of you, Steve.

-No, thanks, mate. Thank you.

-THEY ALL LAUGH

But no you've done fantastically.

And all I want you to do is do yourselves justice today, OK?

But go out there and slay 'em!

THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

'Good evening, ladies and gents, of the Bravo 22 Company,'

this is your half our call, you have 30 minutes,

'this is your half hour call you have 30 minutes. Thank you.'

'I don't think I would be any more ready than I am.

'It's here now, this is it, so...'

whatever is to be still done, I think the stage will do it for me.

Dan, just very quickly, how are you feeling today?

I feel better.

Erm, my headache's gone, my eyes are back to normal,

I didn't put my contacts in because I didn't want to irritate them.

Cold's gone down a little bit but I still have a sore throat.

I went to bed last night

praying that Liam would come back from his wedding.

I got a text through at, well, one something,

saying he was there, which was good, so that's great.

And then I woke up this morning and felt a bit numb,

and then I got in the taxi and started explaining what I was doing and started to cry!

'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the Bravo 22 Company.

'This is your five minute call, you have five minutes. Thank you.'

Here we go! Let's take it!

'If this goes off in a really, really good direction,'

then I've got no problems publicly thanking the Taliban

for taking my leg and giving me an opportunity to get on the West End!

'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Will you please take your seats?

'This evening's performance is about to begin.'

SINISTER MUSIC