The Most Famous School in the World, Part 2 My Life

You ready?

Arggh!

A year ago, James, Fara and me, Theo,

applied for funded scholarships to Eton College aimed at boys -

like us - from state schools.

We beat tough competition to win our places,

and started here in September.

We've been here for eight weeks now,

and our lives have been turned upside down.

We've moved away from our mums and dads

to live and study full-time at Eton.

Eton is a 24/7 boarding school, and it doesn't really stop.

Even when you're sleeping, it's boarding school.

Almost everything is different from our old schools -

we wear specially fitted uniforms of tail coats and pinstripe trousers.

It feels quite heavy back here, but it's not too bad.

I can't describe it. It just feels great.

It's a bit stuffy.

Eton has its own language.

Beaks, divs, EW. I don't know, masters and chambers and messing.

And we're learning new languages...like Latin.

-WOMAN:

-Pater familias.

Our first half of Michaelmas had some highs...

We won House Shout. It's pretty great.

..and lows.

You haven't got your collar on. You haven't got your stud on.

You haven't got your tie on.

But one thing's for sure - after eight weeks away from home,

we were really tired and ready for long leave.

After nine days of sleeping, watching TV, gaming,

doing absolutely nothing...

we're back at the most famous school in the world...

BELL RINGS

JAMES: First day back,

and I've got to get up at 7am to do house chores.

Once every ten weeks,

I open the house up, do the paper round,

and sort out the post.

With boys here from all over the world,

newspapers are their way of keeping in touch.

And finally, the fun bit -

waking my housemates.

BELL RINGS

Each house does chores differently.

This half, Theo's job is paperboy.

It's the first day of the new half,

and the reality of what's ahead is kicking in -

it's a bit scary.

Trials are coming up.

They're important, because they determine which academic sets

we are put in next half.

The first half of the half

was like settling in,

and now this is the down and dirty stuff.

I'm not looking forward to trials at the end of this part of the half,

and we're nearly...

Yeah, we're nearly there now.

It's getting real. I just need to get my organisation better.

-FARA:

-I've got everything sorted for my return to school.

Unlike my housemate, who lost his collar stud,

the pin that attaches the collar to the shirt.

I've got one left.

I've got one, and I need one.

Which is the one I wear.

What are you doing on my bed with shoes?

You put your mouth on my pillow. That's disgusting.

Can you tell him to get off my bed?

I'm going to go and mess up your bed.

No, no, no. Hold on. Fara, I'm sorry.

Your room is really bad. So bad.

And yet again, my room is the tidiest.

-THEO:

-I've lost all my front studs.

Less than 24 hours into the new half,

my room's a mess and, like Fara's housemate,

I've lost my collar stud too.

Hey, David, can I borrow a front stud?

But I don't need to pay a pound...

I've got no black socks left.

I hope I just don't get seen.

If I get seen by a master or prefect

wearing brightly coloured doughnut socks,

I'll get sent back for breaking school rules.

I've got black socks in here.

But they're dirty and they stink.

Hurry up, please!

Oh, no, the bells have stopped.

Oh, no.

I'm going to be late.

I haven't even brushed my teeth yet,

so I'll do that after the first three lessons.

JAMES: You know when you're back at Eton,

when it takes 10 minutes to get to lessons.

-WOMAN:

-How far do you walk every day?

-About five miles.

-500 miles.

# But I would walk 500 miles

# And I would walk 500 more

# Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles

# To fall down at your door... #

And sometimes it feels like 5,000 miles.

From my house to chapel, onwards to parade ground,

to Cannon Yard over and over, all day long...

getting to lesson is a mission.

Apart from maths, the only other subject I'm in a higher set

than Fara and Theo is English.

Good morning, chaps. Please do come in.

Welcome and good morning. Good morning. Morning, morning.

I'm feeling pretty nervous, as we're getting our essays back,

which we did before long leave.

Here we are. James, this is yours. And Peter.

So first thing for me to do is to collect in those marks.

-Alex.

-B-minus.

-James.

-B-plus.

That was a practice.

Dr Cooper is setting our final essay

in preparation for trials,

and we're expected to get an A-plus.

OK. Here is the title.

I'm now going to set you the challenge of improving

in all the areas I've been trying to suggest to you,

so producing something which is better,

and which therefore gets an A-plus mark from me,

which is what everyone should be aiming for.

-Thank you, sir.

-Thank you very much indeed.

I just don't want to get too hyped about the fact that this is Eton,

and trying to be all, "This is Eton.

"I have to do this, this, this and this."

Just because of the standard of what I call "posh-ness",

and "money-ness" and "whatever-ness" of that kind.

I just want to be myself in a way.

I'm enjoying it a lot.

But I always bear in mind

that there's always somebody

who would jump at the chance of replacing me.

My family keep saying I have a posher accent,

which is kind of annoying me.

Apparently I say "Slough" in a different way.

"Slough."

OWL HOOTS

The first day back's been OK.

It feels like we've never been away.

No-one's really mentioned their holidays or trials.

Eton's really good fun sometimes,

and we're enjoying Halloween before the pressure kicks in.

ALL YELL

-Oh, my God.

-So good.

ALL YELL

-Oh, no.

-YELLS

# This town is coming like a ghost town. #

WHISTLE BLOWS

-FARA:

-Today is the first round of Junior Ties,

a knockout competition for the best football players in E and F block.

My house is playing Theo's house -

but Theo's playing fives with James.

Fives is a bit like squash, except you don't have a racquet.

You use your hands instead.

It can really hurt.

Good. And again. Yeah, very good!

Well done, Fara.

Second half I thought you were much better offensively,

so well done, Fara.

The final score for my match was 5-2 to us.

Although you wouldn't know,

because the film crew didn't press record in time.

Messing is the best part of the day.

# It's the most wonderful time

# Of the day. #

I didn't have time for a proper messing.

I've got DW, which is due

in the next lesson, 30 minutes.

Oh, no.

Oh-h!

It's just going to be half. It's so annoying.

-Have you done the...?

-Have you done it?

-We have to draw a graph?

-Yeah, we have to draw two!

I think you're on the wrong page.

-258.

-That is so annoying.

You just need to draw the diagram there,

then obviously it's just pointing there, because that's north.

Oh, how stressful.

I'll put yesterday's date,

so that it doesn't look like I'm doing it last minute.

I rarely do it,

but desperate times call for desperate measures.

We all know certain things,

and we're all similar in intelligence.

These people just feel like schoolmates,

but, like, in a couple of years,

I could find out that one of them is Prime Minister or something.

Because David Cameron was in this house,

so you just learn to expect that sort of thing.

JAMES: For those of you who weren't watching yesterday,

here's a recap of my Latin story.

When we started at Eton,

Fara, Theo and I had extra Latin classes

on top of our normal divs

because we hadn't studied it before like our classmates.

JAMES SNEEZES

What happened was at long leave,

there was a massive huge change.

Five people, including Fara and Theo,

were ticked off,

and they didn't have to do extra Latin any more.

I definitely made a really slow start to Latin.

I've kind of got the gist of it now.

When Eton first started in 1440,

the only subject studied was Latin.

Good job I didn't win my scholarship then.

But saying that, I think my extra Latin teacher

will be happy with my news.

-I got a show up.

-You got a show up?

-Yeah.

-In what?

-Latin.

-In Latin?!

-Yeah.

-That's brilliant!

Whatever you did...do it again!

It's a very different experience.

With people from all over the world,

they've obviously been to different schools,

and a nice way of learning,

whereas for me coming from a state school to this school,

is from regular to amazing,

so that's stepping up a huge level,

whereas they're just used to it, so I have to play a lot of catch-up.

Talking about catching up...

I've been told by my housemaster and dame, who's like my mum,

to tidy my room, because apparently it's a tip.

Sort out my socks.

HUMS LOUDLY

# Whistle while you work. #

SINGS OPERATICALLY

GROANS AND COUGHS

That stinks.

# And it feels like I am just too close to love you

# La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la. #

# This has got a hole in it

# Somewhere at the back. #

-FARA:

-One thing that's pretty weird is that nobody here carries bags.

So you can often find that books go missing,

or they get destroyed in the rain, etc.

It makes sense to have a bag,

but it wouldn't really match the school uniform,

so I can see why.

We're not allowed to take our folders into chapel,

or the school canteen, so we have to leave them outside.

It's Eton style.

I can't say I'm looking forward to getting my Physics EW back...

but I think I've done just enough to get a reasonable mark.

So can I hand out the EW first?

Most of these are fine.

It was out of 14. A mark over 10 is pretty decent.

One or two of you just really got the wrong end of the stick.

Fara, you're one of the guys who got the wrong end of the stick.

You really need to listen carefully as I go through it, right?

Ah, Ed. Harry's not here. Frank.

I got 4 out of 14. It's not very good.

It's not usual.

And at this stage of the game,

my mark of 4 out of 14 isn't good enough

with trials coming up.

I'm really disappointed.

I've got to pull up my socks and start studying,

because I can't mess up like that again.

I was always told that the first few weeks

were just, like, child's play, in relation to work,

and I thought that was hard,

so I'm in a new generation of hard now.

Well done. So it's about English history.

Chaucer has written in what kind of English?

Middle English.

Shakespeare writes in early modern English.

You write just about in English.

SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE

Fellas, don't forget to draw around this.

I'm definitely lazy a lot. Definitely.

I get it done eventually in some form or another.

Five.

Although we're all chilled,

there are still aspects of competition between all three of us.

-THEO:

-My parents Skype me regularly.

I reckon it's their way of checking I've done my homework.

By my reckoning, 230.

So how's your day been, then?

It's been OK.

I'm... Hang on.

I'm in the middle of making flash cards for Latin,

which is like all the words that we need to know for the tests.

Well, you can't go far wrong if you know every word.

THEO LAUGHS

I have to be the first to hang up.

My mum never wants to hang up.

She always says, "You hang up first. I can't do it."

Today is Mufti Day.

So everybody just wears pretty much whatever they want.

Within certain boundaries, but you see some pretty outrageous things.

The most outrageous you can go in F block is probably just pyjamas.

They take mufti day to a whole new level here.

One day out of tail coats, and the school goes mad.

But it's all in the aid of charity.

CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

Oh, no!

I think it might be twins.

-WOMAN:

-So you haven't made an effort?

No. Well, no, not really. Not many people have.

That is so cool.

-THEO:

-We had mufti day at my old school,

but it was nothing like this.

I love it that you can wear anything you want today,

but I'm only brave enough to wear my slippers for my first attempt.

Maybe next year.

I do miss my mum when my room is messy and my clothes are dirty.

Lucky for me, it's laundry day!

Clothes, socks...cos socks just get washed in their bag,

so they stay in there.

JAMES: There are 1,300 boys here at Eton.

Roughly 1,500 shirts,

900 collars,

and 1,200 boxer shorts are cleaned daily.

Eton must have a really big washing machine.

I just stick it behind the door and then just sort it out.

-WOMAN:

-Does your mum usually do your laundry at home?

Yep. Well, I stick it in the basket,

and she just sticks it in the washing machine.

Laundry here is like a military operation.

-THEO:

-Sheila is my boys' maid.

She does more than she should.

She makes our bed, although I should really do it,

and collects our laundry.

Little monkeys, aren't they?

She's like my Eton fairy godmother.

It gets delivered to their rooms, spoilt boys.

There we are. That's it.

-FARA:

-My dame's extremely helpful,

but she insists we pick up our laundry ourselves.

I'm doing my English EW,

which is an essay in preparation for trials.

I've done a page now,

and I've got another probably half a page to do,

which I will do tomorrow morning.

So far this week, I've had 31 lessons,

done around five hours of EW,

been to chapel four times.

But I can forget about a lie-in, even though it's Saturday.

The school week is not finished yet!

Now it's eight o'clock in the morning,

and I'm going to finish my English EW,

which is my 550-600-word essay on An Inspector Calls.

And I thought I left things to the last minute.

Not sure he'll get an A-plus for his essay.

You have just written an essay,

and those essays are an important component

in your preparation for trials.

Thank you. And thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. Now, then, chaps.

So that's it - we won't be learning

anything new in divs,

we'll just be going over what we've done in the last ten weeks.

-FARA:

-14 days before trials start,

we'll be tested on 10 different subjects,

so we have to revise as much as possible

to show what we are capable of.

# Pressure

# Pushing down on me

# Pressing down on you

# No man ask for

# Under pressure... #

So I've started revising for trials.

I've heard the trials are pretty hard

from what some people have been saying about them.

I'm just going to carry on revising and take everything in my stride.

Expecto 1.

I've got to take it to a certain, like, seriousness.

But then I have to, like, also not get, like, really wound up about it.

S-I-U-M.

I want to do well. I want to do better than Fara and James.

I never thought I'd be as good

as Fara and Theo academically at all.

And I never thought that ever.

And I don't think I'll ever think that

until I actually do well in trials and beat them,

which will just be a miracle.

-FARA:

-Even though we've got tons of revision to do -

school rules still apply.

Lights out at 9.30!

But not lights out for Dr Cooper.

He's marking my Inspector Calls essay.

Morning, chaps. Do come in.

-James.

-B-plus-plus.

Not the A-plus Dr Cooper hoped for,

but a pretty good mark, I reckon.

As you know trials, the big exams,

which will test how well you have done

across the course of the term...

What's a ship?

Navis.

Friend?

Amicus.

After long leaves, I don't know what happened with James,

but he just got so much smarter.

So I think it's not just between me and Theo.

Take them away. Do well in trials. You've worked really hard.

12 weeks,

420 lessons

and over 50 hours of EW.

We're done for the term,

and now we have a day off

before a whole week of trials.

I'm a bit nervous.

I got up at quarter to six this morning

and I couldn't get back to sleep for ages, ages and ages.

Trials and my birthday on the same day,

it's just too much to handle.

I'm going to go and share these around actually.

-Merry birthday.

-Thanks, mate.

That's OK.

Happy... Happy my birthday.

I'm off to my first exam - English.

Nervous, very nervous.

I think I am.

It dawned on everyone that it's trials

and we're about to sit our first paper,

so everybody went silent,

everybody's facial expressions changed.

And we all slowly walked into the room finding our places.

Today was my most big day.

I'm now seven down, three to go.

I would have liked to have had some more time

in Latin and Geography.

Um, maybe just a lack of revision.

We all finish exams at different times, lucky for me, I'm first.

Last day of trials today.

HE CHEERS

At the end of the day, whatever I get it doesn't matter.

I've got my place here, I'm not going to leave.

They're not going to send me out.

Today is mine and Fara's last day of trials -

just Spanish left.

A bit of last minute revision and we're off.

What is...? No reflexive verbs.

I've just finished my last exam, which was Spanish.

It went a lot better than expected.

It was, um...

I managed to revise enough

and I think that the amount of revision I did really helped.

It's last day of the Michaelmas term.

Time for us to pack up and head home for Christmas.

Can't wait to see my friends.

But we've got one thing to do before we leave -

discuss our trials results with our housemasters.

Stellar performance.

What does that mean? Stellar, good?

Stellar means, like, starry.

I think it went OK.

My best was English in the end, I didn't know that.

That's very good. Who taught you that?

You did?

Well done. It's going swimmingly.

Ah, James.

Let's have a look.

OK, what's your reaction? What's your instant reaction?

I did OK. It was quite good, yeah.

My best mark was Maths,

but not so good for my other subjects.

Note to self - I need to work harder next term.

I didn't want to be filmed collecting my results.

I was nervous about it,

but I'll be catching up with you later on,

so will tell you what I got then.

The first term's been great. I've settled in.

I've got used to everything Etonian style.

Academic side not particularly not great,

but that's my new Etonian resolution.

Generally my trial results were good.

I'm...partially disappointed

because I was really close to a merit,

but I didn't actually get one.

Do you think you've changed at all?

Yeah, I've grown taller.

Generally, I'm still the same.

I don't see there's been any big change.

Obviously I'm quite a bit smarter now, but that's about it.

My organisational skills have got better.

No, they haven't, I'm still dire.

I think I'm a bit more well spoken, a bit more independent.

A bit more institutionalised,

I'm used to putting my dirty washing in a bag.

The term Etonian sounds really posh,

and I don't think I'm really posh yet.

-I thought you'd gone.

-Merry Christmas.

And to you, sweetheart.

'I've just had an amazing half.'

I can't believe that at the start of this half

I didn't really know much and I was new to Eton,

cos I now feel like an Etonian. That's just me.

I've gained a lot from being at Eton.

You have the advantage over other people in life

because you've learned a lot more, you socialise with people

who will go on to be quite powerful in the world.

And you, yourself, can go on to be one of those powerful people.

Since completing our education at Eton,

we've gone on to do exceptional things.

Fara is the Prime Minister.

James is the head of Latin at Cambridge University.

And me...

..I'm the UK ambassador to France,

like old Etonian the Duke of Wellington.

I think we all did really well.

No, I was joking.

We were filmed over the duration of our Michaelmas term at Eton.

During mealtimes, at divs, doing our EW,

pretty much everything we did.

As if that wasn't enough,

the film crew have one last question...

Is there anything you want to say to me?

Can I play my Xbox now?