Born to Vlog My Life


Born to Vlog

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LineFromTo

You ready?

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So amazing, I can't believe it!

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No!

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Hi, everyone, I'm Nikki and this summer was the best summer ever!

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I was entered into Junior Bake Off, and guess what?

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I won!

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But as the cameras were filming me, I was filming myself.

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I have my camera here.

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Ooh! Crazy hair!

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During the last three months, I've been filming my baking...

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I've been nibbling away at this one...

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..my friends...

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And the highs and lows of my crazy life.

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OK? Come on, then.

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I love you.

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Morning everyone, its Nikki and today I thought I would vlog.

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I live in London with my family.

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Mother's there.

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My amazing mum...

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Always cleaning!

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There's the camera! There we go.

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..my big brother, Alex...

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..my glamorous big sister.

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This is Tasha, we're going to do our make-up together.

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And my dad. He's a Spurs fan.

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I look pink.

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Now, if you're wondering why half of my face looks like this,

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it's because I have an AVM.

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AVM is a very rare medical condition.

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It's quite tricky to understand.

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So, listen up.

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The arteries pump high-pressure blood around our bodies.

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They feed little capillaries that are really tiny,

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which put the oxygen and nutrition into the tissue.

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But on the right side of my face, I don't have any capillaries.

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So my arteries grow straight into the veins,

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which aren't made for high pressure.

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So they swell and sometimes burst.

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This is what makes my face raised and also really sore,

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and gives me super bad headaches.

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Can you tell me what your name is please?

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Nicole.

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Nicole!

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Mum, look!

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I was born with my AVM,

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but for the first six years of my life,

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no-one knew there was a problem,

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and I was just a happy, bouncy kid.

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When I was six, I was diagnosed with AVM,

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and that has affected my life quite a lot.

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And, yeah, I've had to call the ambulance quite a few times.

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So, this is Boris.

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We call it Boris because it's sort of brown and it's a bag.

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I have to take it everywhere with me,

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because I can have really bad nosebleeds

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and so inside there is a big plastic bowl,

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and lots of kitchen towel folded up.

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So that's really handy.

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It's like a little nose clip for if I have nosebleeds.

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And then, this is just sort of the bowl for any big nosebleeds.

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I can either get a cup full of blood or I can get like ten cups full.

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It really just depends on how bad my nose bleed is.

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'It's important my AVM doesn't get worse.'

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Hello!

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'So I'm constantly in and out of hospital for treatment.'

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I've got a little operation at Great Ormond Street Hospital

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which is a children's hospital in England,

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if you guys didn't know that. It's quite famous.

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-So, I'm going to do a set of observations on you, OK?

-Yeah.

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You could probably do it yourself, couldn't you?

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I'll get it all out for you anyway.

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I've been to hospital a lot.

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I've had probably about half a year of my life spent in hospital.

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And I've had over 300 hospital appointments.

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So altogether, that's about 26, 27 operations.

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Is Daddy there? There he is.

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Nikki is in pain, pretty much every day.

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But she kind of gets on with it, really.

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Takes it in her stride.

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She... She's just, pretty amazing, really.

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I've missed loads of school.

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I didn't go to school today, because I had a bad nosebleed.

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So that was not great, at all.

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You may think that last bit about missing school is cool,

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but not to me.

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I love school, and my friends are super important to me.

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-I'm Olivia.

-I'm Arshan.

-I'm Leah.

-Are you recording this?

-Yeah.

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Heavy door!

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-Tom?

-Here, Miss.

-Nicole?

-Here, Miss.

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And missing tonnes of school means there's always

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a lot of catching up to do.

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You need to concentrate on what you're doing

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to make sure your stitches are beautiful.

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Not that I mind, as long as it's not geography!

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You've done a fabulous job,

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and you've all completed your juggling balls and your bag,

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and you can take them all home with you today.

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So, here we go. For all of that beautiful work that you've completed

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for me, it's a very well done.

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But even at school, I have to be careful.

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Bye, Miss. Thank you. Bye.

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If someone bumps into me, it could set off a nosebleed.

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So I have to leave class early to avoid the rush.

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And if my heart rate goes up too high, this can also set off a bleed.

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What my friends are doing over there now, I wish I could do.

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Yes, I hate rugby.

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Yes, I hate the cold weather,

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but I just like to experience what a normal child would do in PE, really.

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But I can use a camera.

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And for the last four years, I've been uploading vlogs.

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Hi, it's Nikki from Nikki Lilly.

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Well, hello, everybody!

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I love to share my passions...

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I really love this colour.

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..my obsession with baking...

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So today, I'm going to be showing you how to make

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confetti cake in a jar.

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..and loads of other stuff too!

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It's just before bedtime, please excuse my attire,

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I have toothpaste on my spots!

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But most importantly, it allows me to share how I feel about myself.

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My AVM wasn't doing great,

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and I just didn't think that anyone would like me any more.

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I just thought I looked like a monster and I was ugly,

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because kids at eight and also before that,

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aren't used to someone with veins on their face,

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but some people would comment that I was beautiful

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and I got a couple more comments like that, and it made...

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Not made me feel happy, because I don't mind

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about not being the most beautiful girl in the world.

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I care about inner beauty.

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But when I saw people comment such lovely things and like my video,

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it just really was heart-warming to me.

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And it was one of those things that made me really excited.

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My parents watch everything I upload.

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That is so good.

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And now, so do the 105,000 people that follow me.

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Hi, it's Nikki from Nikki Lilly.

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My Getting Ready For Prom video has nearly 1.5 million views.

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But the more views I get, the more I'm asked,

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"What's wrong with your face?"

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"You look strange".

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And it's not just online that people are curious.

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My AVM is... It's quite noticeable.

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Like, a lot of people stare at me.

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You can tell I've got veins on my face.

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Those are the first things you see, like when you see me.

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Though I don't really care about people's opinions,

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it's the staring that really gets to me.

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So, one of the best things about having a channel is that it's made

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me be able to get in contact with not only viewers that have become my

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best friends today, but also people that have an AVM,

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and it's made me feel a lot less alone and a lot more connected.

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Someone I've really connected with online is another Nikki.

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She's also got a facial AVM,

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and we've had lots of similar experiences.

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So, do people ever stare at you?

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-So much.

-Yeah.

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It was a lot worse when I was younger, though.

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I feel so free and open talking to you, because you understand.

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I get that too, a lot.

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It's so much easier being able to talk to someone who understands,

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especially having a face AVM.

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It's not as easy to hide your face.

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-No, exactly.

-Even with make up, you can still see that there is

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something wrong, well, "wrong".

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It's when they stare at you and don't sort of have the decency

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to say, "Oh, I was just wondering what happened to your face?"

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-Or something like that.

-It's worse when you can hear them whispering

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-about it...

-Yeah.

-..to their friends and it's like...

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Talk to me. I'd rather they asked instead of stared.

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Asked what's wrong, and what's happened.

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Yeah, I get a lot of pity.

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-Yeah, I don't want pity.

-I don't want pity.

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I educate them on AVMs.

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Or tell them what it's really like.

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Talking with Nikki makes me even more determined

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to get my message out there.

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So, I have a illness called an AVM.

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Which stands for arteriovenous malformation.

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I used to wish this was face paint.

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Some nights I used to get a flannel and wet it and scrub my face because

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I couldn't believe it was not going to come off.

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And, after a while I realised I was going to continue getting veins,

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so you can either be negative and just not enjoy life,

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or you can be positive and live a lovely, healthy,

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joyful and happy life.

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As well as vlogging,

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there's something else that makes me feel good.

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Me and my mum are making a orange and passion fruit mascarpone...

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Is that cream?

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-Yeah, I guess so.

-Three-tiered cake.

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You guessed it, baking!

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White chocolate buttercream and peanut butter buttercream,

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and a chocolate buttercream.

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Nikki, she lives, breathes, baking really.

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Especially if she's not feeling very well,

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just by putting a few ingredients into the bowl,

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she would bake things and give them to people,

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and just cheers her up, really.

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And I've never missed an episode of Junior Bake Off!

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From thousands of applications, 40 have made it

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to the Bake Off tent...

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A couple of months ago, I applied to be on the show.

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Hello?

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Hello! So, we absolutely loved meeting you at your audition,

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so I'm thrilled to say that you've made it

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onto Junior Bake Off this year!

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Oh, wow! Thank you!

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-No problem!

-That's amazing!

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-Congratulations!

-Thank you.

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We have a gobsmacked child here now!

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'I'm speechless.

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'Yes, me, lost for words!

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'Weird!'

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I'm on the Bake Off!

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Are you?

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Daddy?

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I'm on the Bake Off!

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-What?

-I'm on the Bake Off!

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I'm really happy for you. I'm happy for me too, lots more cakes for me!

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I'm on the Bake Off!

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So, for me now, my half term, my weekends, my everyday life,

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and my thoughts are going to be about baking,

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baking, baking consistently!

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OK, I'll get you a rolling pin...

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-Can I put all of them in?

-Yeah.

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Can you put all of the bourbons into a bowl, and then bash them up?

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Just go... Ooh. Get your anger out!

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My best mates have come round to help me practice.

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So, you're making Neapolitan.

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So now can you break it all up like into little pieces, both of them.

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Yeah. Measure out 50g.

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I'll need to try as many different recipes as I can

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so I can wow the Junior Bake Off judges!

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These are the bowls for the buttercream!

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Not that my friends even know I'm going to be on it...

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Until it goes out on telly, I'm not allowed to tell anyone.

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That's going to be tough.

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Look!

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But we don't stop talking about what's happening online.

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It fell on the floor!

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What do you guys watch more? Television, or like...?

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-YouTube.

-Yeah.

-YouTube. Definitely.

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I get up in the morning, have my alarm,

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listen to music whilst I get ready

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and then whilst I'm eating my breakfast,

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I'll just watch stuff, and then I come back from school,

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watch stuff till I go to bed.

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I eat with, like, my mum, so she's...

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It's kind of OK because she watches it with me.

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So it's like acceptable, so...

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I like Joella.

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-Yeah.

-I think I know why.

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-He's mad.

-Yeah.

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-I really like him.

-I also really like, Alfie Deyes.

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-His gaming videos.

-I like his vlogs.

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I don't know why. I watch them all the time now.

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Their videos are good quality.

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They're just likeable people, I think.

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Yeah, yeah, they're very relatable,

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even though we are younger than most of them, they are very relatable.

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For me and my friends, vlogging is everything.

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Hi, guys. Welcome back.

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One of my heroes is Em Ford.

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I love the vlogs on make-up and the fact she's so honest

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about her skin problems.

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And one of Em's vlogs has nearly 22 million views.

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I would love to get as many views as her,

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so I'm heading into central London, cos get this,

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she's agreed to give me some tips on vlogging.

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Someone like Em that's got like 800,000 subscribers,

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it's quite daunting.

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Cos she's one of my favourite YouTubers,

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I don't want to be really fan girlie.

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-Hi!

-Hello.

-Hello, how are you?

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-Good, thank you.

-Nice to meet you.

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Nice to meet you.

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And she's even agreed to do a vlog with me.

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It's Nikki from Nikki Lilly

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and today I'm here with the amazing Em Ford.

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-Hi!

-OK, here are Em Ford's top tips on vlogging.

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Number one, what does it take to make a great vlog?

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Just make content that you're interested in.

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It's like how would your friends describe this video?

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Yeah, that's a really good tip.

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I think it's really important, cos I feel like people can tell

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when you're interested or not.

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My favourite videos that you do are sort of your confidence ones

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and when you do the make-up tutorials on Snapchat photos.

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-I love them ones.

-Yeah.

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Number two, how do you deal with getting negative feedback.

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Negative feedback can be a little bit tricky.

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-Yeah.

-It really, really affected me when I first started getting it,

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but, you know, there's that saying, like, "Happy people don't troll."

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-Yeah.

-And it's kind of true.

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Because happy people generally have a lot more...

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They're busy. They have better things to do.

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So I guess, just block, delete...

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-That's what I do.

-..and tell somebody.

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-Just make sure that somebody knows.

-Yeah.

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Number three, how do you keep yourself safe online?

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The most important thing, first of all is,

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don't tell people where you live.

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Be very careful about what you show.

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-Yeah.

-So, if you're going to do your outfit pictures, for example,

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don't do them right in front of your house...

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-Yeah, yeah.

-..because somebody could work out where you live.

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Don't talk about your school, don't show your school uniform.

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If you're showing something that you've bought,

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or you're doing and unboxing video, make sure you put permanent marker

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over your address so no-one can kind of see it.

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And if you're ever unsure, check with your parents,

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check with a friend and see what they say, yeah.

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But please remember to ask an adult before you upload anything.

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I used to sit in a park and skateboard when I was your age!

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-That's all right!

-You know, you're doing better than me.

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Thank you.

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-Thank you so much.

-You're so amazing.

-Thank you.

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As the first heats of Junior Bake Off get closer,

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I need to step up to the mixer and practice as much as I can.

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I thought I would show you that cake

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that I was talking to you guys about.

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At the top, it had freeze-dried raspberries,

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white chocolate frosting and then I have my bread rolls

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which are very big and then I made these marzipan bees.

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But some days, my AVM gives me such bad headaches,

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it knocks me out of the running and my baking practice

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has to be put on hold.

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-Really tired?

-Yeah.

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Here, I've got painkillers. Do you need a painkiller?

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-Yeah.

-There you go.

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That's for you headache, OK?

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Hi, everyone.

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You're probably wondering where I am.

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I'm under my bed, because the migraines have been so bad

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and severe that I can't really face any light

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and it's been quite a rough day,

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so I'm still so glad that I got into the Bake Off and stuff like that,

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and life is still great, but sadly, I've had kind of a bit of a bad day.

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# Somewhere over the rainbow... #

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Three years ago, I had headaches all the time and nosebleeds every day.

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I love this video.

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Doctors said there was no treatment they could give me to stop me AVM

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from getting worse.

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But my dad did lots of research and found out there was a chance that a

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hospital in America could help.

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Now every two months, I fly to Denver for ten days at a time

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to have surgery at the Swedish Medical Centre,

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surgery that has literally saved my life.

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I've got like a scar on my neck from last year

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when I had a really big operation.

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They had to cut my neck open.

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'Take exit 201 on the right to US285 South.'

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We've been to Denver about 16 times for operations

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and this operation will be my 27th altogether.

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So, yeah, I've had quite a few.

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One of the good things about coming to Denver

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is that I know exactly where to get the best

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peach mascarpone pancakes in town!

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-Mascarpone.

-Mmm, that's nice.

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-Like when you made your macapeach macaroons?

-Try that.

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And food definitely takes my mind off the reason I'm here.

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Nikki, how are you? How are you feeling?

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I'm a bit nervous.

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Although people call me brave,

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and people think I'm really positive and inspirational,

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I do have my times that I don't show too much, when I'm feeling really

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scared and it's like I'm having my first operation all over again.

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Cos I don't know what's happening.

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They put me to sleep and I can't wake up.

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And because it is quite a risky procedure, I get really nervous.

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MUSIC: Turning Tables by Adele

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Can you sit up for me?

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First, I see my hero, Doctor Yates.

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He is a pioneer in operating on AVMs.

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What are you doing today?

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Like always, sweetheart, what we're going to do is have you

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asleep with an anaesthesiologist and we're going to look at everything

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and then we'll see what areas we need to take today. OK?

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So when I'm asleep, he'll inject a chemical called ethanol into my AVM.

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This helps to stop it growing.

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Then it's off to see my other hero,

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ear nose and throat specialist, Doctor Hepworth.

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It sounds like things are looking a lot better

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but I want to confirm that.

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Your skin, all the little changes to the skin are looking great.

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You're a TV star now!

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Great!

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My surgery normally takes about three hours

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but I think it feels longer for my mum and dad.

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It is taking time.

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It is a slow process but Nikki is getting better.

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The actual AVM itself is improving.

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It's really painful and my face can look worse after,

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but I know it's helping me fight my AVM.

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Hello, everyone.

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So it is the last day in Denver today and I haven't talked

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to you guys for a while and I just wanted to catch up, really,

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as you can see.

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I cut my hair, I've got all my comfy clothes on.

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I've got some new tracksuit bottoms from the sports shop,

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which I really love and I'm going to wear them on the plane.

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I really like my new hair. It looks really nice on camera.

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With only days to go before Junior Bake Off starts,

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it's my last chance to perfect my show stopping cake.

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-I can make a bagel.

-No, you can't. I'm baking. No, you can't.

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I'm baking. Sorry.

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I am making a rose and chocolate four-layered ombre cake,

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so there's a vanilla, then a white chocolate, then milk chocolate,

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then dark chocolate and on top, there's going to be a dark chocolate

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drizzle and then edible rose petals and some chopped pistachios.

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The Junior Bake Off rules say that you only have an hour and a half

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to bake, ice and decorate your cake.

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But so far, I haven't yet finished on time.

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OK, Nikki. Bakers, stop.

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White chocolate, are you going to put it in the microwave?

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-Have you measured it?

-No.

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MUSIC PLAYS

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But if I did win, I can't even, like, explain how amazing it would

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be, but if I didn't win, I would just be so happy with the experience

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and I'd probably want to do it all over again.

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-Maybe I can have a cup of tea!

-No, you can't!

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Mummy, your hair's gone white.

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I am really nervous but, yeah, I think I've just got to try and

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stay cool and relax and try and remember everything,

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take it in my stride.

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Ooh, my hair!

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I think she does get a little bit flustered sometimes.

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But under pressure, she does really well under pressure.

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Oh, fudge!

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I forgot to turn my oven on, so...

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Whoopsie!

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-Want a time check?

-I know I've got 33 minutes.

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And I still need to ice it!

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I really hope that the cakes cool and nothing melts

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and it just goes OK.

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That's what I'm really nervous about.

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I have six minutes.

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That means I have one minute to decorate. Oh, no!

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MUSIC PLAYS

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But as usual, I haven't quite finished it on time.

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-It's fine.

-It looks so good.

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Wow!

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Don't squeeze my head off!

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That looks amazing.

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It's so good.

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And while my family love it,

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is it going to be enough to impress the Junior Bake Off judges?

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After spending months practising my cakes and savoury dishes,

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the day of Junior Bake Off has arrived.

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So I've got Millie, my bunny, and my bag full of lots of things

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and my sister straightened my hair

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because it was an absolute frizz bomb.

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So, yes, it's about time to leave now and I will catch up with you

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when we get in the car, I think, and we are on our way.

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Me, Mum and Millie are setting off

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on my most nerve-racking journey yet.

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Nervous, nervous, nervous! I'm so nervous.

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-Are you going to start crying?

-No, I'm not going to cry.

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Now it's finally here, it feels weird.

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It doesn't actually feel real.

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-Yeah, that's what I think.

-Like, I know I'm here,

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but it doesn't actually... I feel like I'm having a dream.

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Don't you feel like you're going to wake up...

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-And it's like, yeah...

-It's not...

-I have to, like, pinch myself.

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I'm up against 40 of the best junior bakers in the UK.

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In five rounds, my baking skills are tested to the limit.

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I surprised myself by getting into the final.

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Then, I produced my show stopping garden party cake.

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Now, it's up to the judges to decide.

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The winner of Junior Bake Off 2016 is...

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Nikki.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Well done, Nikki!

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# I'm on top of the world

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# I'm on top of the world... #

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I do still have my bad days.

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I do still have nosebleeds.

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I do still have people staring at me and my life isn't perfect,

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but I get to school so much more often.

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I have a great group of friends that care about me

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and I have some great teachers,

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and it's just nice to feel like I fit in, in this world.

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I've got really low battery.

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It's flashing red and it's making me really anxious, so I'm going to go.

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Bye, everyone. Love you.

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