Mum's Last Wish My Life

-It's recording.

-Do you think this is going to be tough or easy?

-Tough.

But I think we can do it.

This is what Mummy wanted me to do.

I'm ready to do this.

-There's a lot of pressure, though.

-I was just scared.

It was scary and exciting.

It's on my mum's wish list

and I want to make sure that I fulfil that wish.

I'm Shanti.

This is my brother Kalvin

and this is our Nanny, as we call her.

But there's someone missing from our family.

Movie night was a tradition for us.

We always used to stay up late.

We had lots of happiness together,

so I would say that we were really, really, really close.

Everyone was happy before she got ill.

Everyone was happy at home. It was a normal home life.

Sadly, my mum died on the 21st August, 2015,

right here in my home.

Loads of pictures on here. Careful.

All of these have Mummy in it, so I like all of them.

I think I was 11, 12 when I found out

Mummy was first ill.

I saw Nanny was sad for a couple of days.

I didn't know why, though, until she sat me down on the bed

and she was like, "I've got something to tell you."

I'm like, "What is it? What is it?"

She's like, "Mummy's got cancer."

At first, I was scared because

she's got this disease that ends lives,

but I did think that she would get better eventually

because she was so positive about it.

When I first found out that she was going to leave me,

before we found this out, she made us strong,

so I felt a bit sad, but mostly happy.

Mummy did change during the illness. She became more positive.

She used it as, like, leverage to do more.

Instead of being, like, "Oh, I can't do anything!

"I can't be cured!" she was like, "I need to do more things."

That's life, isn't it?

You just have to go with the flow,

even though you might not like it at times.

My mum used to make a lot of vlogs.

She was really enthusiastic about them and inspired people.

We're so strong when we need to be. It's the only thing to do.

It's the strength and positivity that help us make it through.

The more she posted, the bigger her following got online.

People wanted to go through the journey with her.

Lots of people watched them...

It's quite a normal occurrence in my house.

..because it was funny, happy, amazing and brilliant.

I'm eating nuts!

Lovely. I'm sure everyone wanted to know that.

I think my mum made these vlogs for everyone

because she wanted her spirit

to stay alive, even though her body wasn't here.

If I don't make it and I'm gone before my time,

don't be sad, cos I'm happy and I'll live whilst I'm alive.

We take strength from her.

We don't feel sad, me and Shanti.

We don't feel sad.

We feel, like, more empowered, I think, is the word.

Before she passed she wanted us to complete a list of things.

It's a list of what she would've wanted us to do.

Mummy wanted us to be happy.

-Happy, yes.

-That's the main thing.

What did she want you to do?

Go swimming, go to singing classes.

Take care of Nanny.

-Um...

-Driving lessons.

-Yes.

For you, not me.

Imagine you going to driving lessons.

This is mum's wish list.

It's a list of the things she wanted us to do

when she was gone.

There are lots of different things on the list,

from helping others to learning more about cancer,

but every single item is on it for a reason.

I feel like I need to complete it. I have to do it.

Mum was always making vlogs,

so we're going to make our very own film

of our wish-list journey, just like her.

-Hello!

-We're going to shoot some of it ourselves...

Oh, there. It's Inception now.

..but we also have the CBBC cameras so you can see how we get on.

-I think... Oh.

-SHE LAUGHS

Friends and family were so important to Mummy

so we've decided to make our next movie night

just a little bit bigger to show everyone

what we've been up to whilst ticking off our mum's wish list.

First, learn to swim.

Mummy loved the water,

but I've never been able to swim, so that's the first thing on the list.

I'm taking armbands because this is my first time

going to swimming lessons.

I kind of feel nervous about swimming,

but, mostly, I feel really excited.

The worst thing that can happen

is if the water is too deep and I drown.

My mum used to do laps around the swimming pool,

so I think she would be swimming with me by my side.

I'm really excited for this.

Hi, Shanti.

-Are you ready for your lesson?

-Yeah.

We're going to take your armbands off first.

-I have always worn my armbands before.

-Yeah? So this is a first?

Yeah.

If for some reason I couldn't learn how to swim,

I would stop for a while, rest and try again

because it's on my mum's wish list

and I want to make sure that I fulfil that wish.

Big jump. Yeah, well done.

Good girl. Little kicks. And again. Turn. Good.

Shall we go without our float?

-Um...

-A bit nervous? Yeah.

This is my first lesson

and Patsy is trying to get me comfortable in the water.

But it's harder than it looks.

Oh, close. Good girl.

Come a little bit closer to them.

One, two, three.

Good girl. Well done. Super.

Go.

Good girl. Well done.

Give me five. Brilliant.

I'm excited to see what else you can show me.

-Thank you.

-That's all right.

I look forward to our next lesson.

She done well. I was actually surprised.

I want her to do a length on her back by the end at least.

I think that's quite doable.

It was your first swimming lesson

and you're doing it without armbands.

-I know.

-Were you confident, Shanti?

Yeah, except when it came to the jumping.

I was just scared because jumping into the water, no.

My first swimming lesson was great!

It was amazing. I loved it.

I've had one lesson before and I was...

I drove for about half an hour.

I was scared the entire time.

So, Mum wanted me to overcome that fear of driving.

She conquered so many of her own fears.

I have to do this.

I'm just really scared to do it, but I have to.

It is going to be daunting getting back behind the wheel.

Kalvin has got a big responsibility.

I'm 67 and Shanti is nine.

He is the man of the house.

I think it builds me up more as a person,

having to do all these things.

OK, so, start the engine now.

You have to do this, Kalvin.

ENGINE STARTS

So, check the right mirror. Any hazards there?

Let go of the brake.

Remembering everything at the same time is hard...

Turn right. Turn right. Then we'll talk. All right.

Anything else coming on the right?

-No.

-Yep, there you go.

..as you can see,

but I just need to focus, concentrate

and keep going.

OK, so, we're going to come to the side and I'm going to drive again.

I drove for a bit.

It was scary and exciting and I was nervous.

By the end of it,

I want to learn how to drive properly, independently by myself.

This is what Mummy wanted me to do,

so that's why I'm doing it.

-Hello.

-Hello!

-Hello, Bhaiya!

Hello, Kalvin. How was it?

-It was good.

-Was it a good experience?

-Yeah.

I'm your driving instructor.

OK, go.

HE IMITATES CAR REVVING

-SHE LAUGHS

-Indicate. Indicate. Indicate.

OK, go right.

-SHE LAUGHS

-I mean left.

I think Mummy would feel proud about what I've learnt today.

And Mummy was really proud of our Nanny, too.

Even when she got really ill, like she is here,

she still wanted to let Nanny know how much she loved her.

I just wanted to make a quick vlog, actually,

and tell you about my mum.

My mum is the most amazing person in the world.

She's the strongest lady I've ever known.

She is my role model and I look up to her.

Nanny is kind-hearted, strong.

She tries to make food for us.

She tries to do everything for us, no matter what.

There's no meat in vegetable samosas.

Now we want to help Nanny, or at least try.

Is there anything I can help you with?

Can you go and get the milk for me, please?

There's blue milk. There's no more green milk.

There is. It's sleeping.

You have to wake the milk up.

You do it!

Didn't I say it's sleeping?

-It's not sleeping.

-Where? SHANTI LAUGHS

-Exactly!

-Where is the green milk gone?

-What's that?

-Yeah, didn't I say sleeping?

-There we go!

Ticking off these things on Mummy's wish list

is really helping us to cope with her not being here,

but some things we just need to do for ourselves,

so today we're going to the park

to look at her special memorial tree.

This tree is special to me

because it's got Mummy's ashes underneath it,

and Mummy wanted to be buried under a tree.

-I'm really excited.

-I'm feeling emotional, actually.

Why are you feeling emotional, Nanny?

-It is an emotional thing, isn't it?

-It is just an emotional thing.

-OK. That makes total sense.

-Shanti.

It's special here,

but not that special because Mummy is always with us.

She won't be in the physical form with you, but...

She's here in spirit.

She was my daughter, and now I've lost her forever.

Nanny used to get very, very sad and upset about Mum leaving us.

Nanny does get sadder than us about my mum passing,

but I think that's because, obviously,

it is more of an unusual thing for your child to pass before you.

Shanti is the main person to cheer Nanny up.

I always used to cheer her up giving her a little hug,

and now she feels stronger and she gets stronger each day.

Nanny has just dropped me off at the doctor's

and I'm going to... Oh, it's so windy.

I'm going to come and see Dr Hadeel

and hopefully find out more about cancer.

I'm coming to see Dr Hadeel. Which room is she in?

The second door on the right-hand side.

-OK.

-OK, darling?

SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR Hello.

Hi, Shanti. Come on in.

This is Dr Hadeel.

Hi, everybody! How can we help you today?

What happens inside your body when you get cancer?

Our bodies are made up of lots and lots of cells.

Cells are the building blocks of life.

They're a little bit like Lego. They make us who we are.

They all work together to make sure that our body stays healthy.

Healthy cells grow and they divide.

The problem with cancer cells

is that they don't know when to stop growing.

So, the cancer cells forget what their job is

so they don't know when to stop growing

and then they keep on growing and growing.

Does everyone who has cancer die?

No. No. Not everyone who has cancer dies.

In fact, cancer is quite common.

But some cancers can be very, very bad,

but other cancers can be quite mild.

A lot of those people will go on to live normal, healthy lives.

Shanti, every time I see you, you're very happy and positive.

Do you ever feel sad or angry or upset about what's happened?

No.

-I don't.

-Not at all?

-No.

Because if Mummy didn't die,

she would keep on suffering and it would get worse and worse,

and I don't want her to suffer.

But if I do get sad,

what I do is I try to put the sad on the side

and try and get the funny and the happy in.

So, if I'm talking to my friends and they bring it in,

I just joke with them and have a laugh...

-OK.

-..to get it out of their mind

because even they feel sad and worried.

That's really sweet of you, Shanti,

but I think the most important thing is how you're feeling.

You need to think about you first.

It's important to be positive and it's important to be happy,

but it's also OK to feel sad and angry sometimes.

The worst thing that you can do is to keep everything on your chest

and not let it go.

I'm just leaving the GP's.

Dr Hadeel helped me a lot.

Dr Hadeel helped me to realise that it's OK to be sad.

# We get... #

# What a wonderful world... #

My mum inspired me to sing.

My mum's singing, I think, was really good,

and she used to teach me.

# Lovable and suddenly... #

Thank you, Shanti, for doing that for me, and I'm so happy.

Woohoo!

These are a few of my friends that have come today to sing songs.

-Say hello, Lakshmi.

-Hello.

-Hello, you two.

-BOTH:

-Oh, hello.

It's lots of fun.

One of the things that my mum loved to do was singing,

and she wanted me to sing, as well,

and that's why we're doing this for my mum.

I wrote down the lyrics.

The song Alive was about if you are suffering

through an illness that can't be cured,

you have to live while you are alive.

So, like, be happy.

Mummy was also really creative

and wanted me to go to university to study animation.

So today I'm going for an interview.

My mum left us that list to continue our path in life.

Yeah, I'm really nervous because this is, like,

my future we're talking about.

Being an animator is accomplishing my dream, basically.

I chose that with Mummy, to become an animator,

so it was like I'm doing it with her.

I think that the wish list is, like, one step on a bigger journey.

I'm visualising myself just sitting here all day,

just drawing, drawing, drawing.

-Kalvin.

-Yeah.

# You may look around you when you hear what people say

# They may talk about how they have everything their way

# Start right now

# All I know that I am going to live whilst I'm alive. #

THEY CHEER AND CLAP

I feel very excited and happy that we've recorded Shanti's mum's song,

and I feel happy for Shanti, as well.

I feel really lucky to have the friends I have.

How do you feel when your mum died?

I feel...happy.

-BOTH:

-Happy?!

-Why did you feel happy?

Because if my mum didn't die,

then she would keep on suffering and it would be pain,

but when she did die, she died peacefully.

-I'm sad...

-If my parents died, I would feel really upset.

When people think about things that they feel sad about a bit,

then they try to make the funny happen

so they're not sad.

That's what I normally do, don't I?

'I kind of kept the situation of my mum separate from my friends

'because when I used to talk about it,

'they used to get really upset,

'but now I know that it's good to be sad sometimes.

'And in a funny kind of way, that makes me happy, too,

'and my friends will always be there for me no matter what.'

I think it went OK.

The interviewer said I'd be notified in ten days whether I'm in or not.

I hope Mummy would be proud of me today.

I have more responsibilities than normal 17-year-olds have,

but I'm scared of these responsibilities

if I come out here all by myself.

This is what Mum wanted me to do.

She wanted me to go out and explore the world,

so, yeah, I have to be ready.

It's time for a new adventure.

It's just a few days until movie night

and today's my last swimming lesson,

but have I done enough to reach my target of swimming a length?

Good girl. Get your tummy up. Good girl, kick a bit harder.

Good.

Keep going. That's good. Chin up. Here. Look back.

Up. Up. Up.

Super. Well done.

I can't believe Shanti has learnt to swim so quickly.

She'll be able to teach me soon.

I didn't think she'd do so well.

You are such a good and brave girl.

I feel good and happy about myself.

I think Mummy will be happy, as well.

-Let's go inside.

-Lipstick face.

Yeah.

So, I've managed to learn how to swim,

but has my brother got up to speed with his driving?

I drove home from where I was driving by myself.

I was scared,

but I did it and I think it went pretty well.

I didn't crash, luckily.

I never get so scared. I'm really proud of him.

Are you proud of Bhaiya?

Since I had cancer, it made me realise you can do anything.

The only people that stop ourselves are us

because we put doubt in ourselves.

This is, like, less than 24 hours before the party

and I haven't even started cutting the footage yet.

These last three weeks have flown by

and now we need to put the finishing touches on our film.

What shall we do first?

Shall we do my driving first or your swimming first?

First, we're going to do your first lesson of driving,

then my first lesson of swimming.

Bhaiya, do you think this is going to be tough or easy?

Tough, but I think we can do it.

So, we need to cut that bit out.

It's going to take ages.

There's a lot of pressure, though, to make the film good,

to edit it perfectly.

Today's the big day and I'm really excited.

Everyone has helped us make this night so special,

but there's still a lot of work to do.

I think it will look really nice.

We've finally got the film finished, so that's all good.

Never had a giant clapperboard in my garden.

I've never had a giant clapperboard, whatsoever.

I think Mummy would've loved this.

Yeah. Just showing our film.

Yeah, Mummy would have loved it.

Director, Kalvin and Shanti.

I'm a bit nervous,

but I know that my mummy would have loved me making a vlog

and making a film.

We have about ten minutes until everyone arrives,

and I'm getting excited.

I'm struggling with putting this projector screen higher.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's got, like, five minutes till the guests arrive or something.

Not long to do this.

Hello, David. How are you?

Nice to see you. Hello.

Oh, my God, I've got so many flowers.

We're excited to be here, because I want to watch the movie.

Shanti's mum, she would be very happy to see all this.

Wow!

Oh, my princess is coming.

I'm ready. I'm ready to do this.

Hello.

Oh, my God!

Yay!

There's a lot of people here.

It feels weird getting near to the end of this experience.

It's getting dark

so you can see the projector screen a lot clearer now.

-Yeah, you can.

-Oh, that means it's nearly time.

Hello, everybody, and thank you for coming.

We're here to show you something that me and Shanti have made.

Thank you for all the people who have helped throughout this.

I hope you enjoy...

..our mum's film.

We need...

..you to follow us along our journey to complete all of Mummy's tasks...

..from the wish list.

# You may have some hurdles that will come across your way... #

It was good. I enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun.

# You'll get over them and you'll be better the next day... #

I'm really excited for this.

# When you look at things they may not seem so right

# When you see them coming... #

It's OK to feel sad.

It's OK to have lots and lots of different kinds of feelings.

She really helped me to learn more about cancer,

which was one of my mum's wishes.

# To live whilst I'm alive. #

THEY CLAP AND CHEER

You basically are all part of our family

and we thank you for coming here to watch this and, like,

without you, we wouldn't have been able to do anything, so thank you.

THEY CLAP

If Shanti's mum was watching this,

I think she would be proud of Shanti and Kalvin.

I think they have done really well with their mum's wish list.

It's just lovely to see that they're so strong and they're so happy,

and they just really appreciate everything they have,

and you can see it in their video

and I think that's what's important.

It was great.

I'm just happy that now they're still happy

even though their mum has passed away.

If she is watching us from anywhere, she will be very, very proud,

and I bet she's got a big smile on her face, as well.

Thank you to everyone who helped us make this movie.

-BOTH:

-You're all part of our family now.

All your hair.

Look what you've done!

You had to mimic me, didn't you?

SHE LAUGHS

-I almost crashed into you!

-THEY LAUGH

Brilliant driving right there.