A Goal For Wayne Our School

In Firth Park Academy, Sheffield,

one boy in a battle against his angels...

-He's just funny.

-He's literally the biggest clown you can ever see.

..and his demons.

I just think he's annoying.

Which side will be triumphant?

Will good prevail?

That was really good, Wayne.

Or will evil will be victorious?

Now you're drawing on someone's face.

Find out in Our School.

BELL RINGS

Meet our new Year Seven.

Sick bucket!

It's the most important school year of their life so far.

Haircut, sir?

They're all starting here together.

That level of noise is absolutely disgusting.

HE YELLS

This has...seen better days.

You stink, sir.

LAUGHTER

CBBC have filled the entire place with cameras,

so you'll get to watch year seven every step of the day.

-Stop waving at me!

-Yes!

Hello, I'm Mr Jones.

I'm a maths teacher at our school and every time that you're here

I'm going to be here, too. Right now I'm late for a lesson.

Excuse me.

Come on in.

# Our school. #

Boom, mic drop.

BELL RINGS

# Troublemaker, troublemaker... #

Whoa!

Guys, step back out.

Everyone back out. You don't walk into my class after I ask you

to enter this class sensibly and quietly.

Pathetic!

Sometimes year sevens can get a bit rowdy...

..so every classroom in the school has one of these.

The consequence board.

If I have to speak to you again Wayne, you're going on the C board.

Talk when you're not supposed to, that's a C1.

Thank you, you're now on the C board.

Keep doing it...

Wayne, you are now on your C2.

..and that's a C2.

Get even more rowdy, that's a C3.

A half-hour detention and possibly the dreaded phone call home.

As for a C4, you don't even want to go there.

If you decide to make a choice that is not working for the rest of us

I'm going to have to remove you.

What are you waiting for? Christmas?

This morning Mr Shabir's form seem to be struggling

to keep themselves off that board.

Oi, oi, oi.

Sit down.

Don't touch my pencils and pens.

You sit down there and I'll phone your home now,

and you can explain to them why you come to school without equipment.

An absolutely pathetic start to this lesson,

where I have to ask my own form to line up outside.

What is all that about?

With everyone settled Mr Shabir can get started.

Today's lesson - how what's on the inside is far more important

than what's on the outside.

So how do you feel about yourself, Mr Shabir?

I'm happy with who I am, as long as I'm healthy, I'm happy,

I'm going places. When I came for my interview here as a teacher,

many years ago, they didn't ask me "What's your BMI, then?"

Or, "What's your waist size?

"What's your shoe size? How much do you weigh?

"Did you go to the gym?"

They checked if I was the right person for the job.

If you guys are the right people for the job,

if you've got the right qualifications, if you've got

-the right character...

-Were you the right person?

Of course I was!

Because I was the only person here for interview!

THEY LAUGH

It would have been bad if I didn't get the job!

THEY LAUGH AND CHANT

Ssh.

Ssh.

Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Oi, be quiet!

Should have Donald Trump.

Right, C1, Wayne.

Unfortunately, Wayne often crosses the thin line

between enthusiasm and silly behaviour.

Wayne!

Wayne. Seriously, now, you need to...

Stop. I'm not doing anything!

Right, listen to me.

You stand up. Come and sit here.

Wayne. Leave all your stuff there, bring your book and your pen.

I'd like to change my personality because...

You just have your moments.

I just have my moments like everyone,

but, like, me, I just take those moments too far.

-Yeah, yeah. You express more, in a way.

-Yeah, yeah.

I'm just trying to listen now,

and all these conversations are nothing to do with this!

Most of this conversation is about other random things.

You do that at break and lunchtime and after school.

Not during my lesson.

He's very strict.

-Yeah.

-Mr Shabir is funny.

So don't look at me and admire my good looks.

Because you'll be here for years.

Looking for 'em.

Focus!

Take your pen out of your mouth.

At the end of the lesson Wayne's not the only student

who's found themselves on the C board.

You're funny at times, and people laugh.

Most of the time people laugh at you. Because you're being silly.

Do you want to have the reputation of being the class clown?

You're a clever young man,

and you make stupid - you don't have to make noises, boys.

This is a classroom, not a farm.

Making noises? Stop that, listen to me.

I'm going to take you now, to not see a doctor, to see a vet,

if that happens again.

HE CLUCKS

You first, little rabbit.

LAUGHTER

You're a funny teacher.

WAYNE LAUGHS

Mr Shabir wants me to do well,

and I want Mr Shabir to feel good that I'm doing well.

Because if I'm doing well he's doing well as a teacher

because he's teaching me that stuff.

There's one member of Mr Shaw's form who never gives him any trouble.

Como te llamas?

Me llamo George...

HE SPEAKS SPANISH

Brilliant. So George,

then, when he gave his answer, he said the first bit, so, tick,

and he gave the extra detail, so you'd tick that, as well.

My name is George. I'm 11 years old.

I've got a little brother, very annoying little brother,

just want to say that that.

What's this! I've got two dogs, beagles, Nelly and Holly.

You've already had one, darling.

Some people in school call me, like, Mr Perfect.

Like you're a perfectionist.

I like the fact that people think of me like that.

Most lads George's age have got things like this at home.

But not many of them own one of these.

MUSIC: Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix

This is my car.

Like, it needs a lot of working.

So everything we're working on is like...

..that.

What are you going to call it -

Rusty?

-I am thinking the car should have a nickname. JoJo, I like that.

-JoJo?

-Yes.

-What about Fox?

-F-o-o-o-x.

-N-o-o-o.

Foxy la-a-ady.

N-o-o-o.

Well, George, you'd better get on with it.

It's only five years before you take your driving test.

Wayne's world is a whole different ball game.

His passion is football.

One for me.

Great skills, Grandad.

I love football and I'm Sheffield Wednesday till I die.

Come on, then, see if you can get past me.

HE CHEERS

Football means to me, like, this big, like, epic.

When Sheffield Wednesday win I'm just buzzing with a capital B.

Poor Grandad.

HE CHEERS

-So how are you doing at school, then?

-I'm all right.

I have heard you've been a bit naughty once or twice.

All right, then, I have been a bit naughty once or twice.

What were you like in Year Seven?

Oh, I don't know about Year Seven. I can't remember that far back.

No, but were you naughty? A little bit off at times, like me?

-No.

-Weren't you?

Never, ever, ever naughty. Went to school every day.

Did my lessons, came home, had my tea, got changed, went out,

-played football.

-Yeah!

-Every day, every day.

So promise me you'll behave, you'll start to behave yourself in class,

and when I've got pennies I'll take you to a football match.

Will you take me to the Barnsley game if I'm being good?

We'll have to wait and see, won't we?

For my birthday and probably for Christmas?

We'll see.

Won't we?

I like that, Grandad. Using football to keep him in order.

Right, three, two, one.

As a maths teacher I prefer to keep my class in numerical order.

Six, seven, eight, nine...

They're supposed to be quiet by the time I get to three.

-20.

-21.

-Go and stand outside.

-Sorry.

22 seconds.

And that wasn't just me putting my hand up,

that was me telling you to be quiet.

And that's what happens when you start being clever with it.

-Did you get kicked out?

-Yeah.

Go.

There's one thing Wayne can count on,

and that's a telling off from me.

You tell me what you've done wrong, this lesson.

I were counting when I wasn't supposed to.

-Then I were...

-Shouting and screaming at people.

-More than once.

-Because no-one were listening to me.

That's the way to get heard, is it?

No. You need to listen to other people.

And you need to stop trying to be centre of attention

and making it all about you.

It's not about you.

It's about us as a class.

Right, off you go.

I got 13 out of...

Sometimes pair Wayne up with George

in the hope that George will be a good influence.

Wayne, Wayne, that's disgusting.

Today they are practising their Spanish.

OK.

So you to ask me now.

-Holly?

-Yeah.

-My dog is called Holly.

-And one's called Nelly.

We've met your dogs, haven't we, George?

So what's your Holly like, Wayne?

My dog's absolute...daft as a brush.

I think we know where she gets it from, Wayne.

Yup.

I think these two are like chalk and cheese -

but what do they think of each other?

I would describe Wayne is a very...

..bubbly person, in a way.

-Energetic. He's like, he never runs out of energy.

-No, never.

He's like, his voice, you can't...

He can shout and shout and shout, like an hour.

Also he's a very funny person.

Like, some of the stuff he comes up with...

-WAYNE LAUGHS

-..like that,

you can't not, like, laugh.

He's got a funny face.

In class he'll do something naughty but it's absolutely hilarious.

Let's have a round of applause for Wayne.

APPLAUSE

Thank you, Wayne. Thank you, Wayne.

CHANTING

Right. Calm, calm, calm.

WAYNE CHANTS

Wayne!

Wayne, are you going to say anything about George?

All right. He's all right.

We're getting our smoke, we're getting our smoke...

Mature, immature.

Responsible, irresponsible.

Wayne, you're now on your C2. The swinging. It's got to stop.

I got C1 for swinging.

I know. Which was a cue from me that I didn't want you to do it again.

It feels more comfy, though, sir.

For the argument I'm going to ask you to leave, OK?

You know what?

Wayne was not on his best behaviour.

He was quite distracted at times.

Quite a bit of talking to other students.

Swinging on his chair, I think three times I had to ask him.

So in the end, yeah, he got himself a C3,

and was asked to leave the classroom -

and he looked quite upset just as he left the room

and I think he perhaps realised straightaway, "I've kind of,

"I've gone too far this time with Mr Webb."

I was thinking at the time, when I were getting carried away,

"Oh, no, Wayne, you're going to get a C3.

"You have to pull it back."

He wants to do the right thing all the time.

Sometimes he doesn't perhaps know how,

or he struggles to control his behaviour.

So would I.

I can never get anything right, me.

-You can get everything right.

-It happened in my primary.

I could never get nothing right.

But you are getting things right.

You're getting loads of things right. That's just life.

People always pick up on the things that you do wrong.

They never pick on stuff where I...

Where I do stuff good.

I know - And you don't get enough praise for it -

but that's everybody. I do loads of stuff.

I do loads of stuff that's good.

Nobody ever sees it, and nobody ever says anything.

Do one thing wrong and I get done for it.

That's just how life is.

You've just got to make sure that you try and do everything right.

It's basically, taking...

The good thing has been taken

-over by the bad.

-Exactly.

You can do four really good things

and then you can ruin all them four by doing one bad thing.

Because there's one side devil, there's one side angel.

It's like a world war, if you want to imagine it like that,

because that's how I imagine it.

I can never get anything right, sir...

Oh, Wayne, don't say that.

Because that isn't true at all.

I don't want to hear you having that attitude, Wayne.

The only attitude I want to hear you have

is, right, maybe it's gone a bit wrong,

but we've got to pick ourselves up again.

I mean, look at what happened to Wednesday.

We got knocked down...

No-one thought we were going to get to the play-offs - and we did.

I had this idea and it just, it came to me at the moment,

to be honest, but as I was talking to Wayne, I thought,

"What's the one thing that me and him always get on

"talking about best?"

Which is football, and Sheffield Wednesday.

On Monday, I don't care what anyone says,

I'm getting not to the play-offs but to promotion places.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Because you are worthy of, you know, Premier League status in this group.

In terms of behaviour, without a doubt.

He got it -

and he realised, you know, "This is my chance."

If he does it for me, that's brilliant.

If he does it for himself, even better.

You know, you'll get chance after chance, you know.

If you are in the Championship every season

you've got a go at getting into the Premier League.

You've got to look at every lesson like that.

Yeah? Trying to get yourself promoted.

He's a lovely young man, but he just needs to focus sometimes.

I was too eager,

that's all. I was too eager to do lessons.

That's all.

I was too eager to start a new life at secondary school.

Now, us teachers have all got different teaching styles,

but in history, Mrs Black takes it to a whole new level.

I've got a really great lesson for you today.

You're going to love it.

Now, today, what we're going to do is,

we are going to be looking at Tudor food,

continuing our theme of Tudors.

The Tudors did not have no fast food or anything.

But it was, like, 400 years ago.

And then, like, the fast food industry, like,

came in in the 2000s.

-No.

-Yeah!

Try 1989.

We're going to have some food tasting today.

THEY CHEER

Well, it's a good job, because I'm starving!

My intention when I do Tudor food is to make the students sick.

I deliberately make it as rank as possible,

and I want to see those reactions out of it.

Oh.

So for Mrs Black's slightly terrifying tasting test,

she's enlisted the taste buds of Josh, Roman and Wayne.

The rest of the class have the honour of feeding the Elizabethan

delicacies to our blindfolded guinea pigs.

You must not tell the blindfolded people what they are eating.

It will spoil the surprise. OK.

Just a few finishing touches.

You can have a cup of water there, just in case it's horrible, yeah?

Sick bucket!

CHEERING

OK, sick bucket, hold the sick bucket.

And we're ready to begin.

Welcome to a very special Tudor food tasting.

Today, be prepared to throw up,

as cooking doesn't get tougher than this.

Time for the first dish.

Potage - a favourite amongst Elizabethan peasants.

Once Mrs Black's finished wafting it around the room...

That's lovely, that!

-Josh almost was sick by the...

-No, he couldn't do it.

Bless him, he couldn't do it.

Yeah, I know - and then Wayne was like...

At first he was like, "God that's nice."

It was porridge...

-Rank.

-Think it was tomato soup and peas mixed together.

I feel sorry for you now, cos you had to eat that.

Right, go on, judge, tell us about this dish.

Big deep flavours in that one. I want to have a bath in it.

Are our contestants ready to throw up yet?

Pot-age is a fixed...

-It's "potage".

-Potage.

-Potage.

Potage is a thick stew usually eaten by the poor,

as they are too poor to eat anything else.

All together now: Ahh.

Ahh. That's what it says.

-Say it! Ahh!

-OTHERS:

-Ahh!

Funny lessons can educate you

and it sticks in your head,

cos if it's a boring lesson, you're not listening,

you're just sitting there playing with your nails.

Open wide!

Next on the menu, a delicacy favoured by the rich.

All the little mango whatever.

-They were right nice.

-They were nice.

No, it weren't mango, it were pineapple.

Pineapple.

Pineapple are you sure?

-What's that one?

-Marzipan.

-Marzipan.

Oh. The yellow stuff on top of Christmas cake.

What's next on the agenda?

Mrs Black has given up on the blindfolds now

and is letting anyone brave enough try the final delicacy -

Eggs in piccalilli...

..and that means having a taste of her own medicine.

I think the thing is, the students then make me eat it

so while I'm making it in my kitchen,

I know I've got to eat this stuff, so I'm dreading it.

SHE SCREAMS

Did you see it had, like, little olives or something?

That stunk, that!

It was horrible.

I'm going to be sick in a minute, I swear.

That was eggs in piccalilli.

Now, this is fun.

That was a Tudor delicacy.

The Tudors had fantastic food.

-Are you daft, man?!

-Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

-Yes, true.

-And I think Tudor food...

Decent.

Art teacher Mr Tipping has come up with a unique way

of keeping Wayne quiet for a whole lesson.

How do you feel about standing still for a long time?

Do you think you could do it?

-No.

-No? I'm going to be asking you to be my still life models.

Oh, I thought THIS was still life.

Gone are the days where you just put a bowl of fruit

on the middle of the table and tell students to draw those.

Ah, OK.

In our next art lesson, part of that lesson

I'm going to ask you two to pose, OK, in the centre,

and then everyone else is going to have a go at drawing you.

-OK? How do you feel about that?

-Oh, my God!

See, Wayne, I think, secretly likes it.

He likes to be the centre of attention.

To make it more interesting,

Mr Tipping wants Wayne and Shanazze to dress up

in the most flamboyant clothes they can find.

You ain't going to get nowt for Christmas this year.

Wayne, come on, that's comfy, isn't it?

That is crazy.

Way too big, this.

-That?

-He has to wear that!

Wayne, this is perfect.

Give us a twirl, Wayne.

-I looked...

-HE WOLF WHISTLES

Right, I think we're sorted. That's it.

Come on in. Sit on the front row.

It's Wayne and Shanazze's big moment

and the class have no idea what their still life models

are going to look like.

OK, so are we ready to see the...

..the amended, the transformation?

OK, Wayne. Shanazze.

Come on. Come on. We're all waiting.

SCREAMING AND LAUGHING

# She's a lady

# Whoa, whoa, whoa She's a lady. #

Wayne was just in high heels,

messing about, and it was funny, like.

He tried to run. And he fell over.

When he walked in, he was like... And he fell over.

I did feel like a bit of a plonker at the start.

I'm like, what am I getting myself into?

You were embarrassed as hell.

I wasn't embarrassed.

I just thought it would be a laugh.

Yeah, I think Wayne loved being the girl.

He was, like, walking round.

He was enjoying it. As much he will say he didn't, he enjoyed it.

Let's all include Shanazze, and encourage her to come in.

Then Shanazze come in, she was like,

"I don't like it. I don't want to come in."

-CHANTING:

-Sha-nazze. Sha-nazze. Sha-nazze.

Wayne just shot in like it was nothing, but I didn't.

I was just outside.

And everyone inside was like,

everyone, come on... Everyone started shouting "Shanazze!"

-ALL:

-Sha-nazze. Sha-nazze. Sha-nazze.

CHEERING

Don't they look amazing? They look amazing.

It's fun, though. People laughed at you, but in a good way.

Yeah, but it's kind of embarrassing.

Yeah, but it was really funny, though.

The challenge is that these two

have to do the mannequin challenge...

for...20 minutes.

Everyone drew me. Everyone drew me.

I don't know what's fascinating about me, but everyone just drew me.

I think everybody just likes you.

Not in, like, a love way, but in a class thing.

Remember, there is no wrong or right.

I'm not after students making

something look exactly like something.

It's more their take on it.

Shanazze, no talking, thank you.

Mr Tipping,

I'm actually doing as well as I thought.

I know, maybe we should do this every week, Wayne.

He's better well-behaved like this, isn't he?

Stop clicking your flipping high heels.

Right, too many people are talking.

-Wayne, sit still.

-Sorry.

Three, two, one, stop.

-Oh!

-OK, listen carefully.

It's not that much of a relief for you two.

You were moving all the time.

Sit down, sit down. Sit down, Wayne.

Waynetta, sit down.

And reveal!

Oh, wow!

The drawings of Wayne were quite funny.

I look like my great grandad Charlie on that one.

So, does your great grandad Charlie dress up in women's clothes

or is it just the face?

-No, no, it's just the face.

-Just the face. Just the face.

What do you think of this one, Wayne?

Why does it look like it's off Doctor Who?

-Look at this ear, here.

-Which one?

-Look at the ear.

This one here.

Aleyah had some sort of like Henry VIII style.

-Yeah.

-If you know what I mean?

I were pretty impressed.

About Olivia's drawing.

She can draw.

OK, Tell me why you like Olivia's.

Well, she might not have got my glasses 100% right,

because I look like...

-You've been punched in the face.

-No. A messed-up Harry Potter.

-LAUGHTER

-She got me eyebrows right.

She got me little moustache right.

She had my head the perfect way.

-The best, like.

-That would have been me in a photo frame.

Shall we give them a massive round of applause, please?

-Come on, clap!

-APPLAUSE

As the term moves on,

Wayne's getting closer to that Premier League status.

Wayne, yeah, is a changed man.

What do you do first, Wayne?

Well, you do the multiplication first,

but there is both multiplication, so you just do the first one first.

So, 2 times 6 is 18. 12!

Wayne's story is brilliant.

It makes me really proud to say that

the work that we've done has been successful.

What is an infinitive? Wayne, you didn't know at first,

-and then you seemed to think, "Oh, I might have this."

-Well, I think...

Go on, tell us, then. It doesn't matter if you get it wrong.

-You need to try.

-At least I tried.

Well, I think it's those Spanish words that end in -AR, -ER and -IR.

Brilliant. That is excellent.

Wayne has given some brilliant answers today.

I reckon it's time for Grandad to deliver on that promise -

two tickets for Wednesday's biggest match of the year.

HE SHOUTS

Now, where are my earplugs?

And the icing on the cake? They actually win the match.

CHEERING

I want the teachers to think about me as a nice, intelligent kid,

but not a teacher's pet.

If they think that I'm a teacher's pet,

we've got some serious problems.

Next time - it looks like a normal science lesson,

but year seven smell a rat.

It's alive! It's alive!

-My hair's messed up.

-No, it's not.

Look at that. That's perfect.

Better than mine.

-You've got like a natural quiff.

-I know.

Disgusting!

THEY LAUGH

I heard Mrs Shabir calls us Chuckle Brothers!

-Mrs Shabir's left, though.

-Oh, no!

-HE LAUGHS