Killer with a Camera Love and Hate Crime

-RECORDING:

-911...

Shots fired, I've been shot.

Every time you see the news about a deadly tragedy,

it's always either considered senseless or people will never find

out why the killer did what he did.

But here is everything for the reasons I did this.

You may consider them bad reasons, but that's you.

Not me.

If there's one thing that America has taught over several generations,

it's that you must seek revenge in the name of justice.

And whoever hurt you will not get away with it.

You will come back stronger, hunt them down, kill the perpetrator.

You send the message that no-one can be allowed to do this again,

or there will be dire consequences.

It's the American way.

Sunny Cape Cod - there is no greater place on earth,

and I often refer to it as God's country.

It's been such a draw to me, coming back to a place I grew up.

The lure of the ocean - it has a certain sense of freedom,

the fresh air.

I am a private criminal defence lawyer.

Mr Loya is a fellow with no criminal record, he is now 33 years old.

The crime had been planned by him.

It had been orchestrated.

It was carried out while he suffered a delusional episode.

He had a delusion at the time, which is a major mental illness.

And if I wasn't in it to win it,

I wouldn't have been here from the first place.

He can win this trial.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Bring the audio up, OK, bring it up.

Bill's mic, one, two, three, four.

Police say he murdered one woman, wounded her partner,

wounded a police officer.

But defence attorneys actually say he is mentally ill.

Jurors entering, all rise please.

You are going to receive all of the available evidence.

You are going to have the benefit of direct examination

and cross-examination.

You are going to have the benefit of the opening statements and the

closing arguments.

Something very interesting will likely happen during this trial.

Police say that during the murders Loya was wearing a GoPro camera

right here. He actually recorded shooting two women.

That video will likely be played during the trial.

In Barnstable, I'm Bill Shields, WBZ News.

You know, we got called into the court room, and I was kind of surprised,

I thought, "Oh, my God, I'm on a jury for a murder trial."

The evidence will show that Adrian Thomas Loya blasted his way,

using a shotgun,

through the front door, discharged at least 15 rounds,

11 of which hit and eventually killed Lisa Trubnikova.

Anna Trubnikova was hit at least four separate times,

in the arm, in the chest, in the thigh,

and at that time the police did not know if

there was one shooter, two shooters, three shooters.

He began to open fire at them, and that he hit

police officer from Bourne, Jared MacDonald.

This was really a revenge killing against Lisa Trubnikova.

Thank you, counsel.

Adrian Loya committed this act,

and there is an abundance of evidence that he did.

This is not a whodunnit.

He was in a delusion. In fact, it was a good against evil scenario.

Trail cameras,

265 pages - Loya Wars.

All of these things he detailed meticulously.

Evil or...

..just kind of nuts?

Call me Loya.

I am an extremely quiet guy who keeps to himself.

I have very much been a loner my whole life.

I have your typically geeky interests.

Although I wouldn't consider myself anti-social,

just not desiring a need for others in order for me to feel all right.

Ever since I was very little, I've always had a very powerful imagination.

I've had an incredibly immersive and detailed life of me adventuring in a

galaxy far, far away.

Adrian Loya,

whisked away from planet Earth to be trained as a Jedi

by Luke Skywalker himself.

I love my dreams.

I live for my dreams.

I have been a lucid dreamer since I was a small boy.

Guns and phasers never worked in my dreams.

The Force, though...

..now, that was something to be reckoned with.

Adrian loved Star Wars.

Spaceships, and good versus evil, those were his things.

And do you solemnly swear the testimony you should give

to the court and the jury and the issues now...

I've known Adrian my whole life and he's not a violent person.

-..nothing but the truth, so help you, God?

-I do.

Sir, in a nice, loud voice, could you state your name?

-I'm Jacob Heller.

-Did you know an Adrian Loya?

-Yes, I did.

-Do you still know him?

-Yes, I do.

-Do you see him in court here today?

-Yes, I do.

-Where is he, please?

And how would you characterise, sir, your relationship with Mr Loya?

Um, friendship.

And when did that start?

In high school.

I don't think I have a happier picture of him.

Over all the years I've known him,

I think this is maybe the happiest I've ever seen him look.

You know, in high school, we were both kind of loners.

We weren't going to the popular kid parties.

Adrian was very introverted.

He was always a unique guy.

He was very proud of joining the coastguard.

He really cared about it.

He had only a couple of close friends, maybe only one.

I mean, Adrian was a very black-and-white person.

Knowing him the way I did, I always thought, like, man,

he doesn't have the relationships he needs to be like a complete person.

I don't really have a family like other people. I mean, sure, I have

a father and a mother, I didn't just arrive on Earth via a pod.

I just don't have the usual son relationship with them.

Whenever my family got mad or scolded me on something,

I'd begin the silent treatment.

And, thanks to my personality,

I learned I could keep it up for a long time.

I've dated four women and slept with ten others.

I'm rather proud of this number.

When I did meet a girl who liked almost all of my aspects,

I tried to cling on because, damn,

it was hard finding that where I didn't have

to sacrifice a bit of myself.

It just took too much effort.

And it wasn't worth it for the emotional drain if it wasn't going

to be perfect and last.

I was just better off being alone.

So, in late 2009,

I left the dating world, never to return.

And so when Adrian told me, "OK, well,

"the next place I'm going to is Alaska," I was like,

"Why are you going to Alaska?"

Like, you're going to one of the most remote places on the Earth.

In the back of my mind, I thought he made a bad choice.

But, at the same time, he's my friend.

I'd just arrived at my new unit on the island of Kodiak, Alaska,

as an E5 information systems tech.

The office IT guy.

A couple of weeks after my arrival,

a new girl also arrived fresh out of IT school named Lisa Berlanga.

Something about her voice...

..breath and touch gave me immediate good flashbacks.

It was the first time in many years that I hated the fact

that I was alone.

Did you ever have any conversations with Mr Loya concerning a Lisa?

-Yes, I did.

-When did they start?

Um, at some point during his time in Alaska.

He told me that he found kind of a kindred spirit and they had

a lot in common.

Me and Lisa would make quizzical faces at each other.

It felt great having her as a friend.

It began to give you some concerns, didn't it?

Er, yes, it did. As time went on, his conversations turned to her.

You know, he was enraptured by her.

Lisa, I have an incredibly huge crush on you.

I've pretty much had feelings for you ever since that day we sat on

the river bank and talked for the first time.

That was the first day...

..the Lisa Effect hit me.

The Lisa Effect is this superhuman ability I found out you have.

Whenever I talk...

..work or do anything with you, I feel good.

Like, really fucking amazingly good.

Seriously, I have never known anyone else in my life who has been able

to do that to me.

It's a pretty cool yet dangerous power you have.

You know, I'd say, "How's work?" And he'd be like,

"Well, Lisa's 'this way.'" And I'd say, "OK, well, how's WORK?"

But, for him, work WAS Lisa.

Don't develop feelings for this person, don't go down that road.

You have a lot to lose.

She's married. Give her a break.

These two people had a relationship and he seemed to be wanting to get

into that relationship more closely with both of those people.

Like, what the fuck, Lisa?

You're gay and married?

How is that fair at all?

I know you don't care about me at all in any capacity.

Fuck it if I burn for this now.

Over and over again, he assured me,

"This is not about love or intimacy.

"It's not a romantic relationship."

And, to me, that never made sense.

He ended up at Lisa's apartment one night.

He told me he knew maybe he shouldn't be there.

He just was so excited about having someone to watch TV with,

to just hang out with, to be around, that he went over there anyway.

The feeling was amazing.

This was the first time Lisa ever got hold of me just to ask if I

wanted to hang out with her specifically.

Lisa Berlanga wanted Adrian Loya with her.

It was the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.

Even with saying that, there was never at any point me hoping that

this would lead to a romantic or sexual encounter with Lisa.

Something has to happen, and it was so huge and such a...

..such a part of his life that it just exploded.

You know, ultimately, he decided to propel himself towards that outcome,

and I just... I couldn't understand.

I still don't.

Every detail encompassing this night with Lisa was burned into my mind

with complete vividness.

He told me that anyone looking at this situation

will see it in her favour, and they'll blame me.

He was very worried, very upset.

He was concerned about potential consequences.

It was the first day.

The first day when my mind started down a dark, lonely path.

The nightmares started soon after.

Lisa would appear in my dreams...

..and there was nothing I could do,

but I was struck with this intense fear and I had to wake up.

I hate that my dreams have been taken away.

It was hate that was created in me that day.

I was filled with hate for someone...

..for the very first time.

Just pure, distilled hate and nothing else was in me because of

this one person, and I'll return to this person so she can look upon her

creation and she'll be destroyed by what she's wrought.

I hate Lisa Berlanga.

Under a chapter he entitles, "The Decision",

making the choice where I didn't want to play any more, he writes,

"I then decided that if I was going to leave this life,

"I would not allow Lisa to be allowed to remain.

"I had to get revenge, I wanted revenge."

I left Kodiak and drove clear across the United States.

I had a pretty good general idea of what I wanted to do,

but I still didn't know where Lisa actually was.

All I knew about her was she was somewhere in Cape Cod.

The finalised plea mission goes like this.

"Return to Bourne, Mass, to conduct a recon.

"Make sure Lisa is at her home.

"I will confirm Lisa is indeed there before I begin anything."

And you'll hear that he also took a GoPro device,

a camera in which he could record

what would happen. You're going to be able to see that.

When I finally reached the Cape Cod area,

I decided for a full recon sweep for my preparations.

MUSIC: The Imperial March by John Williams

I mounted a small action camera to the passenger sun visor so that it

could record everything as I drove around.

It came out perfect.

This was all kind of a movie to him.

Kind of a, you know, a game, a video game.

When he did the reconnaissance drive, he had the music going,

the Star Wars music.

You know, he planned this out pretty well.

He found out where

Lisa and Anna were living.

He went to look around their house,

in that area he set out a deer-cam out in front on a tree.

I started becoming a pay cheque to pay cheque type person.

The first pay cheque would go to rent and other bills.

And then spending money on my new addiction, the want for affection.

I'd find a nice call girl who I can ask to see

when I want some attention.

The best analogy I can give for it is pizza.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Sure, I can do all the stuff for pizza myself but it's a huge hassle.

So, I'll go online and order one from Domino's.

Now, replace pizza with ladies, and Domino's with escorts,

and there you go.

I work in the forensics services group which is the crime lab and I'm

a supervisor for the ballistics section,

the firearms identification section.

Could you identify that for us?

It's a 9mm calibre, the brand is Walther,

it's a semi-automatic pistol.

That was the tactical belt that was depicted in the photographs.

This is the holster, this had the firearm, the handgun in it.

It's a 5.56mm Smith and Wesson

M&P15 model, and it's a semi-automatic rifle.

Semi-automatic means what?

That when I pull the trigger, it will shoot, eject,

reload and it will shoot again.

OK, so, I like guns a lot.

I think they're pretty cool.

They're the modern equivalent of the sword,

not just as a death dealer but as a symbol.

The gun can bring even the lowliest man on a par

with the deadliest demon.

Just watching a movie with a cool gunfight feels awesome.

As a good guardsman,

I wanted to be prepared for this final mission of mine.

I wanted to get an AR-15 but this was after the Aurora and Sandy Hook

massacres, so there were none available.

I bought a Remington 887 that look like the Halo shotgun.

Yeah.

That's how I choose guns.

"Does it look sci-fi cool?" is first and foremost.

Please be seated.

Jurors have great scepticism for the insanity defence.

They believe in many respects that it's a loophole,

that defendants want to wiggle out of some type of criminal responsibility

or, in a case like this,

it is intrinsic his mental illness as to whether or not he truly

intended something criminal and evil and whether he appreciated

the wrongfulness of his conduct.

There are certain experts that are going to go forward,

both psychiatrists and psychologists who are going to give their opinion

about his mental state.

..the testimony you shall give to the court and the jury in the issues now pending to be the truth,

-the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

-I do.

And were you retained to conduct an examination in this matter?

-Yes, I was.

-And who were you retained by, please?

By your office, by you.

I didn't get it at the beginning.

No history of violence.

He's very quiet.

But I'm still...

..kind of being bombarded with...

..too much information.

He needs to tell me...

..this happened and that happened and this happened,

and he has a phenomenal memory.

What am I dealing with here?

My opinion is that, um,

Adrian Loya suffers from a condition in the autism spectrum which I think

is best categorised as high-functioning Asperger's disease,

and that, because of that disease,

that he was unable to conform his conduct to the requirements of the law,

and namely that the actions were driven or controlled by his

brain disease. The autism spectrum has a spectrum, namely,

there are youngsters that are terribly disabled, essentially mute,

unable to communicate, can't socialise.

And the spectrum includes people who can be highly functional.

Dr Kelly is a fellow who has between 300 and 400 cases,

over 40 years of experience.

Kelly testifies for the Government.

For him to have come to my side in this,

I hope it plays out well for my client.

Why was it so important, Doctor, for him to...

..document completely, with all the details, this operation?

Because it's part of his illness, OK?

"I'm going to write it all out for you, I'm going to do videos of it,

"I'm going to strap a GoPro camera to myself."

He was not going to allow any ambiguity.

This was the first case of Asperger's in a homicide

that I've come across, and I've done...

When I stopped counting, it was 300 to 400.

The Star Wars story is very attractive.

It makes relatively complicated things simple.

"May the Force be with you,"

it reminds me of almost a religious kind of thing.

God bless you.

The evil people have a force, too.

It's important to Loya that he be on the side of the good, so,

when he's in this character, which I have called psychotic,

a functional psychotic state, he is with the good guys.

He is doing what only he can do,

which is setting right a terrible wrong.

You determined through all of the other material you reviewed and

your some nine hours with him that non-work

at that point had become preoccupied with some type of good and evil?

Yeah. Well, she was evil for what she had done for him.

He then started to incorporate the police into what I'm calling

a delusional system.

America is following in the footsteps of any dystopian future story.

The police are becoming the Stormtroopers of Star Wars

and the Government is all for it, just like the Empire,

so in return, I've taken up the emblem of the Rebel Alliance

of Star Wars as my own personal symbol in fighting back.

Soon, none of this will matter for me any more.

The delusional idea is, "I am going to be the tragic, heroic figure.

"I am going to be like a character in Star Wars.

"I am going to be the hero."

STAR WARS MUSIC PLAYS IN CAR

He's driving back from his scouting expedition.

He starts to experience a physical reaction.

GROANING

All right, I'm...

I'm...

Pull over at the side of the road.

I'm having...

..a panic attack.

It was important for him to document it,

so you see he's got the camera looking up at his face.

I started hyperventilating.

I feel paralysed. I... I...

I can't move.

He is feeling like something terrible is happening to his body.

"I'm going to die?"

I'm putting my hat... Putting my hat on.

I believe it's the realisation on some level that he

really could go through with this

and that that is abhorrent to him on one level

so the notion of taking another person's life actually

is kind of foreign to him in his core personality.

And he can't do harmful things to people when he is not in,

in my opinion, this delusional state.

I started thinking about it.

This is incredibly crazy, what I've been planning to do.

You know, it's fucking crazy that I want to...

..conduct a mission to go murder a girl...

..and then die.

It's not exactly the healthiest thoughts.

I thought long and hard about what I was wanting to do.

Was it all just a grotesque fantasy that I had developed for Lisa?

Can I just drop it and resume life?

I thought about it at work and I thought about it at home all month.

I began making bald spots on my eyebrows because I kept yanking

the hairs as I thought.

He couldn't dismiss it.

He couldn't... He was obsessed with it.

It kept on intruding in his thoughts.

I thought about what I wanted in life, and all that was

was seeing the new Star Wars film some time past December.

I needed a hard date.

My birthday arrived on February 5th, so it was decided.

I would go out on my 31st birthday.

Going out on my birthday would be poetic.

And, eventually, it's really game on.

His birthday - perfect time, "I'm going to end on my birthday."

All the loose ends have been taken care of.

He took Ex-Lax the night before the event because he didn't want

the people dealing with his bullet-ridden body

to have to deal with the fact

that when you're shot, you might lose control over your bowels.

He can't just kill her

and get away with it, he needs to be killed.

That is moral, that is what the Force would have you do.

I was in an airport in Texas and I was coming home and I got a call.

And his name popped up on my phone.

It had been so long since he called me, I almost thought, like,

this has got to be a mistake.

He was, like, "Oh, what's going on?"

It was just like a normal phone call.

Erm...

Or at least I thought it was a normal phone call at the time.

He wanted me to watch this video of this website that he visits,

-Giant Bomb.

-I've got some boxes.

-What have you got?

-I don't know what any of these are.

He gave away a bunch of expensive stuff to this website

that he was a fan of.

Let's start with this one.

They opened up a package full of things that he had given them.

OK.

Wow.

This is...

-..the Star Wars symbol.

-The package had, like, Star Wars stuff, toys.

This is fucking cool.

-Gray Fox.

-Oh, my God.

-Sick Star Wars hat.

-Nice.

And he gave them, I believe, a live weapon, like a .22 rifle.

Good Lord.

That is...

-That is all metal.

-I don't know if you see that, but...

Thank you, Adrian, you're insane.

Why would you give this...?

His letter had a line in it...

"Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on the target."

-Uh-huh.

-"Be sure of your target and what is beyond it."

-Mm-hm.

-"Be aware of the audience around you and how easily they could

"freak out. Much love and beef, Adrian,

"aka Hyper Aqua Blast on the internet and Purple Rebel in the field of battle."

Did he try to tell me something and I didn't get it?

Like, could I have done something?

And I think about this constantly every day.

Holy...!

It's just that feeling of responsibility,

like, I was the last person he talked to and he still

went through with it.

When I went out back here, I could see flames coming up over my fence.

I just started recording.

Oh, shit.

I'm down on Round House Road right now.

Fucking cars exploding. I don't know what the deal is.

Holy shit. Right in my back yard.

EXPLOSION

There's fireworks going off.

Something must have exploded in the back.

As soon as I stopped my last video...

..I had heard a loud gunshot come right over my back.

It sounded very close.

I called 911 at that point.

-POLICE RADIO:

-5-22, start heading to Round House Road

for a reported car fire.

22, received.

Myself and my detective sergeant are walking up this road.

We find this car that's on fire, fully engulfed right here.

-RADIO:

-Be advised, it's right in the middle of the road.

We've got a burning car and there is something else going on up the road,

but we don't really know. It was so chaotic.

...fire engine, 1-25, zone three.

Road vehicle fire.

We got radio transmissions for...

..somebody shooting, we got radio transmissions for possible fireworks

-prior to that.

-Right beside on the side of the road,

there was what appeared to be an IED or improvised explosive device.

Everybody here was thinking, "Oh, my God, what is going on?"

On-scene trooper found a device by the fire hydrant.

Unknown what it is, it has wires coming out of it.

The mystery unfolds as you live in it.

Units on the scene, a possible suspect,

a white male dressed in black with khakis.

I want to do something that matters.

I want my life to count for something.

I never really had anything to fight for, but I do now.

Something bad happened to me and sadly it is now that I have a reason

to fight.

The video of the actual incident was pretty intense...

..and sad.

To see Lisa's face, that's something that will stay with me forever.

I will always see her face when I first think about this trial.

Erm...

I've got to take a break.

I'm sorry.

Lisa, what you did hit me very hard.

I'm truly going to miss you, Lisa.

I want you to believe that.

Court, all rise, please.

Ma'am, raise your right hand, please.

Stand.

Ma'am, do you solemnly swear the testimony that you give to the court

and the jury and the issues now pending between the Commonwealth

and the defendant at the bar shall be the truth, the whole truth

-and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

-I do.

Please be seated, Miss.

Lisa kept asking, "Who are you?"

And "What do you want?"

He did take the mask off.

-Who was it?

-Erm, it was...

..Adrian Loya.

He's, like...

"See what you've done to me, you're making me do this.

"This is what I've become."

And she was asking, "What did I do?"

Or, "Sorry."

He said, "It's too late."

Maybe seconds afterwards, there were shots.

I knew they weren't at me.

The sound also went to my left.

At some point, there were more shots and then I finally felt...

..getting shot myself.

I figured we only have seconds to live.

I turned to Lisa...

..and I said, "I love you."

To which she responded...

.."I love you, too."

And we were very close.

She was facing me, kind of,

and I just turned my head towards her and I kissed her lips

and I remember the lips going numb, or not numb...

Limp.

I figured she died, so I'm next.

I heard...

..I think, a man saying, "911, what's your emergency?"

I realised that

at some point she must have

dialled 911.

Where are you?

-Help!

-Where are you?

Help!

Where are you?

We know that there is an active shooter situation going on...

..but we don't know where he is,

how many people there are or what kind of situation we are walking

into. Right up here, my officer was shot.

GUNSHOTS

Shots fired, I've been shot.

The shots came from the middle of the complex.

I see his feet, I walk up to him and I can't believe what I'm seeing.

This is one of my friends.

He'd been shot in the back.

Be advised, have made contact with someone.

Came out of the pine trees.

We ordered him to come towards us.

This time, he had his hands up.

OK, two victims, upstairs bedroom.

There is nobody else in the house.

It was approximately 2.30 or so, 2.40 in the morning.

My phone rang, I answered it, and it was Sergeant John Stowe from the

Bourne Police Department.

Then I proceeded to get dressed and respond.

And what happened when you got to the Bourne Police Department?

We then proceeded down the hall to a room that we have that we sit down

with individuals and have conversations or do interviews.

Did he look like that at the time?

-No, he did not.

-What was the difference?

He was clean-shaven, his hair was shorter and...

..he appears to be a lot lighter in his weight today.

Did you then interview Mr Loya?

Yes, I did.

I'm going to conduct an interview with a Mr...

-Last name is?

-Loya.

Over the years, my experiences...

..in interviews...

This one was probably one of the most bizarre ones.

You'll plead guilty to what?

He was so matter of fact and...

..really never showed much of an emotion.

Are you familiar with that address? Have you been there before?

-Yes, sir.

-OK. And how many times have you been there before?

-Twice.

-Very detailed.

It was somewhat amazing.

-What did you say to her?

-I told her...

What he told me, that based upon...

..a past incident that he had with this young lady

two years prior,

she was by herself and she invited him over to the house and he alleges

that she was intoxicated when he arrived and she started to

"come onto him".

So that's...

That's what precipitated from September 9th, 2012 until now,

that's kind of been fuelling the fire?

"It was a rape of the mind."

At first I was thinking, like, "Oh, God, you know, she assaulted him,

"she sexually assaulted him."

And then you find out that it wasn't anything.

If anything, even if it did happen and I don't know that it really did,

she may have made a pass at him.

That was it. That was all.

And he blew it up and turned it into something that it wasn't.

I'm going to turn this tape off, it's 6.19am.

It's the first and only case of Asperger's that I've testified

in court about.

At the end of it, he was saying, "I was crazy,

"I don't understand now why I did it.

"It makes no sense."

He felt he didn't deserve to be alive.

He hoped there would have been a court martial cos you can get

the death penalty.

He wanted to die.

Does that fairly and accurately depict what you saw of Miss Trubnikova that night?

-Yes.

-How many gunshot wounds did you observe?

Erm, 11.

And fair to say you numbered them?

Yes.

There was a bullet wound below...

..the left arm.

This was a bullet wound that resulted in a path that went through

skin and soft tissue. It went into the chest cavity.

It went through a lung then it went

through the pericardium covering the heart.

It lacerated the aorta...

..went through the pericardium again,

went through her lung and then broke her rib on the opposite side.

Raise your right hand, please. Do you solemnly swear the testimony

-that you give to the court and the jury...

-What's your connection to this case?

The District Attorney's office asked me to evaluate the defendant in this

case for criminal responsibility.

In my opinion, Mr Loya was criminally responsible for his actions.

Dr Kelly, another forensic clinician, gave the opinion that

Mr Loya was suffering from autism spectrum disorder.

And in my opinion, he does not suffer from autism.

Shyness, awkwardness is not autism.

Mr Loya thinks of himself as a victim and has some fantasies

that he is like a superhero or a Star Wars hero.

But one has to... As a forensic psychiatrist,

you don't take someone's view of what they are necessarily,

you also have to look at their behaviour.

Mr Loya has a personality disorder, severe maladaptive personality.

He tends to be rejection-sensitive, closed,

anticipates shame and humiliation.

He is sad a lot of the time and then he has kind of a smouldering anger

-that bursts out.

-Did the disorders make him unable to appreciate the

criminality or wrongfulness of his actions?

No, in my opinion,

they were irrelevant to his ability to appreciate criminality

or wrongfulness.

He meticulously planned this crime.

And he did that with a clear mind.

There was weighing going on before.

RECORDING: I started thinking about it, about, you know,

it's incredibly crazy what I'm planning to do.

And that indicates that you can control yourself,

you're just choosing not to.

It's fucking crazy that I want to...

..conduct a mission to go and murder a girl.

And in this case, there was a mountain of evidence that he knew

what he was doing was wrong.

It's not exactly the healthiest thoughts.

Did you interview Mr Loya?

Erm, no.

You had five months to seek him out, sit with him, talk to him, right?

And you didn't avail yourself of that?

Her biggest weakness, and it shows on its face,

is her not interviewing my client.

That cuts at the very core of what she does.

She had to evaluate pursuant to other people's work.

I think that totally undercut her.

Liam, what this jury is going to have to decide in the coming days

is whether or not Adrian Loya knew right from wrong.

His actions were under the control of a functionally paranoid,

delusional system and he was incapable of a force of personal will

to stop the system and the ultimate homicide.

Mental illness alone

is not an excuse to murder the woman you could never have.

The lawyers had done their closing arguments.

I just happened to look over at Loya and he looked right at me...

..and started to mouth something.

And that really frightened me.

What did he say?

Guilty.

"Guilty".

He looked at them and said certain things that caused me

terrific anguish.

It was astonishing to me.

After I had been fighting now for him for over 30 months...

..he said, "Guilty."

Mr Loya.

If there is any repeat conduct on your part like what I have observed,

I will consider removing you from the trial process and having you

confined in the lock-up watching further proceedings by video link.

Do you understand me, Mr Loya?

Yes, your honour.

After a hard-fought trial, the jury was just going out.

For him to do it at that critical stage was so frustrating.

Jurors, your exhibits and verdict slips will be along shortly.

The text of the charge will follow as soon as the stenographer

can produce it and it can be proofread.

All rise for the jury, please.

We really weren't sure exactly how everybody felt

to be able to say guilty or not guilty.

In modern life, in my generation,

we used the phrase "you're crazy" or "he's crazy" or "they're crazy",

and this phrase has lost all meaning to people of my generation because

everyone says it about everything, but when you really think about it,

when you're...

making very irrational choices over and over and over again and you

can't see beyond those choices...

..what is that if not insanity?

I was surprised at myself.

I knew that I could be impartial,

but I didn't realise how impartial I could be.

I really didn't have anything in my head, you know, thinking,

"Oh, he's got to be guilty." I didn't feel that way at all.

I quite frankly...

Walking on eggshells.

Whether it's ten minutes or ten, 11, 12 hours,

your head is somewhat spinning, you don't know what to make of it.

What say you, Madam Forelady?

The defendant Adrian T Loya is charged with murder.

Is he not guilty, not guilty lack of criminal responsibility,

guilty first-degree murder, guilty second-degree murder,

or guilty manslaughter?

Guilty first-degree murder.

He knew what he was doing.

I do think he thought he was going to get away with it.

I think he thought he was going to go to the police station, tell them,

"Yes, I killed her, yes, I planned it, but here's why.

"So, you know, it's OK."

That would be a pretty crazy thing to think.

Yes.

He's crazy a little.

He wasn't crazy enough to be...

..not guilty.

It's strange, looking at the same set of facts and coming to a very

different conclusion than you've ever come to.

He is a person with nobody.

What kind of person is that?

When you have nobody, do you even exist? I mean...

I don't know.

He lived maybe a lonelier life than I...

..had ever thought.

And that I should have... Me personally,

I probably should have been in better contact with him.

My life with Lisa was beginning to flourish since we left Alaska,

where our initial troubles with Adrian Loya began.

We were happier than we had ever been and loving every aspect

of our life together.

On February 5th 2015, I lost everything I had,

loved, and everything I believed in.

It was the most devastating day of my life.

Yes, we begged and pleaded to be spared,

for the nightmare to be just that.

But I also know that once I was shot all those times...

..my body felt numb, at an eerie peace.

It felt warm and all the pain and suffering ceased.

Lisa got to hear that she is loved and she felt my lips on hers

before she took her last breath.

She wasn't alone.

She was loved.

She felt love.

If there's one thing that America has taught over several generations,

it's that you must seek revenge in the name of justice.

And whoever hurt you will not get away with it.

You'll come back stronger, hunt them down and kill the perpetrator.

You send a message that no-one can be allowed to do this again

or there will be dire consequences.

It's the American way.

In the end, though...

..when all is said and done, nothing will have changed.

I'll be known as a villain and I'll be dead.

I'll just be labelled as another crazy with a gun

and the rest of America will just sit back in their couch.

Your honour, I'll ask for no mercy for Adrian Loya.

He is a threat to our society and I truly believe that he is capable

of doing this again.

He will hurt others the way he has hurt Lisa and me and in no way

should he ever be granted the opportunity to be a free man.