Episode 2 Caravanner of the Year

-The holiday starts from here.

-Mint!

-Thank you.

For more than 50 years, caravans have captured the hearts

of the Great British holiday-maker.

Once you get behind that wheel you will smile.

Two million homes on wheels now hitch up and head out

on the open road to explore the less charted corners of the country.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

-You'd pay a fortune in a hotel for this.

-You would.

But caravanning just got competitive.

Welcome to the very first Caravanner Of The Year competition.

The Caravan Club has been running a nationwide competition to find

the creme de la creme.

Whoa!

After the emotional semifinal...

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-Keep it going, keep it going.

-It's fully locked!

..the judges whittled down the top applicants from six...

He's in for four faults.

Disappointed I'm not going through to the final.

..to a final three.

-That's enough, you've done it.

-Ooh!

Welsh duo David and Anne had to call upon every last drop

of their 37 years of caravanning experience.

This is a hell of a challenge.

You pulling my way, Jen?

-John and Jenny...

-Yes, all right, come on.

..fought the corner for the classic caravan...

-I've let you down a bit.

-No, you haven't!

..rolling with the punches to just scrape through.

My heart's going!

Executing a foolproof plan...

-Good, good, good.

-Tell me when to stop.

..Keith and Angela managed to put their motorhome on the map.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

Looking forward to the final. Bring it on, you know.

It's the first day of the final.

-You know who you're up against.

-Well, yeah.

Very experienced couples.

Must be what soldiers felt like before battle, this.

Yeah, this is very comparable, yeah, to going into battle.

Going into battle when you're waiting for the order

to go over the top.

Are you comparing this with World War I?

The battle will begin on a private rally field

at the Ferry Meadows Club site near Peterborough,

where the winner of Caravanner Of The Year will be crowned.

Head judge of the competition is Caravan Club chairman Grenville Chamberlain.

-Well, good morning, finalists.

-Morning.

-Morning.

I hope you all had a very good night's sleep, you will need it.

You have a very busy day ahead of you.

It should be a real test of skill.

It's all to play for.

Completing the expert panel are motorhome maverick Andy Harris...

Now, you're about to embark on the most elaborate challenges,

and it's going to test you

on key elements of both caravanning and motorhoming.

..and guest judge, the camper van cook, Martin Dorey.

I'd like to say, on behalf of us all, the very best of luck to you.

All the best!

Oh, there's no room for compassion here today!

We are going to be strict, we're going to have our stopwatches

and our measuring tapes, and we're going to be severe.

The first challenge of the grand final will test the caravanners'

confidence behind the wheel when faced with a tight gap.

When there's a home in tow, knowing your vital statistics is paramount,

but even an experienced judge can come unstuck.

People really have no sense of how wide their vehicles are.

There's a very good example, just up here, of width.

Oh, this is a tight one, actually.

Can I get through here?

There's the kerb.

HE EXHALES DEEPLY

I am utterly stuck.

I can't get through!

-Son of a...

-CAR HORNS

How very, very embarrassing. I have been defeated

by a narrow, restricted gap.

With an expert slipping up on his measurements...

Here they come.

..will the finalists fare any better?

-Stomach getting ropes out.

-Scary!

-Good morning.

-Hello.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Well, good morning, David, Anne and Beauty.

The first of your challenges in this final starts right here, now.

I like to call this the caravan limbo.

-LAUGHTER

-Right...

But instead of going under a tight gap,

you are going through a tight gap.

-Right.

-Right.

Set these two straw bales up

to the narrowest width

that you think you can get your caravan through

at around 10mph.

The narrowest gap wins.

You've got ten minutes.

-Ten minutes.

-You've got ten minutes. And those ten minutes start...

-..right now.

-Right, thank you.

-Very best of luck to you. Good luck.

I'll count my feet, you count your feet.

Come on, we've only got ten minutes.

One, two, three...

They'll take it in turns to test their mettle.

..six, seven...

-They're using their feet.

-Yeah.

The van's 6'6" wide,

I'm 5'10", so if I lie down...

Right? Let's go for it.

The tightest gap between the straw bales and their caravan wins.

-This is brilliant.

-He's lying down!

This is fantastic. This is amazing.

-Can you manage it?

-Yes, of course I can manage it!

Steady.

-One...

-One...

-Two...

-Two...

-Three...

-Three...

-Four...

It's like line dancing or something, is that what they're doing?

-We haven't got long.

-Seven, eight...

-You do it.

..nine. That's much wider, do it again.

No...

As two of the couples take their time,

Keith is in the zone.

What is the width of it?

I don't... It's in my head.

-OK.

-It's in my head.

Do you think he's so confident that he just knows?

Are you sure?

-Yeah, I can get through that, I think.

-Can you?

I don't know how many goes we get at it.

-One.

-One go at 10mph.

-One go at

-10mph. OK. Let's do it.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

We're doing it.

They're a bit gung-ho with it, aren't they?

-I love it, I think it's fantastic.

-Absolutely, this is incredible.

In just 60 seconds, he's ready.

-Ready?

-Right, let's do it.

Usually, Keith's not one for taking risks.

Angela and I are very different. I probably am the more organised.

I think my lists have got a bit of a reputation, yes.

Every aspect of his home and work life is planned out.

The colour-coding is used.

It focuses the mind, motivates you.

Tick off the activities as you've done them.

It all means he rarely acts on impulse.

Can we just...go out somewhere?

-That's spontaneous.

-Attempt a picnic.

I'm making a picnic now, let's go.

How would you react?

-I would struggle with that.

-Yeah.

-I want you to be more spontaneous.

-Mmm.

I want you to be more planned.

He might not be the spice of life at home,

but competitive caravanning has fired Keith up...

-He wants to do it!

-Yeah! I want to get on with it!

..displaying a cocksure tenacity unfamiliar to wife Angela.

Start your engines.

-We have five minutes.

-I'm just going to double-check....

The planner in Keith returns.

-One, two, three, four, five...

-He's not as confident as he was.

Go for it.

Yeah, looks as though we're onto something now.

Doors are shut.

Having second thoughts, he's going to readjust.

He's coming back! He's coming back, he's having second thoughts.

Don't want to get it wrong.

SHE SIGHS

If they're not careful they'll be out of time.

His confidence is waning.

No, confident now.

After using every planning minute available,

Keith's calculations are complete.

I want you to contribute.

I've got to look out the window at the straw bale.

-No.

-No? What have I got to look at?

I'm going to look at my side, you need to tell me what I'm...

-You need to tell me. Sorry.

-Stop talking, I'll tell you!

I need you to tell me when I'm doing 10mph,

it's a bit like Back To The Future.

Tell me when I get to the terminal velocity.

-OK.

-And then we'll take off and go over the straw bales.

BACK TO THE FUTURE THEME PLAYS

It's now or never for his master plan.

We're on the way.

Right, five...

-I'm excited.

-Get ready to run, guys.

-Look at that.

-That's bang on the line.

-Nine.

Head out the window, smart move.

Nine, ten, go up more.

-Oooh...

-Oh, what's he doing?

Whoa!

It's a squeeze, but Keith holds his nerve.

Well done.

Well done!

-Look at how fast he came through!

-That was really tight.

-Did I hit...

-I think that deserves a round of applause!

-Did I hit them?

Are they down?

That was outstanding! Good speed, too. We were a bit worried

for a moment there, you were going to run us over!

Great, the adrenaline is going.

Look at him!

Keith's high-octane heroics achieved a total clearance

of 15 centimetres between the bales and his motorhome.

-I'll give it my best shot.

-Ooh.

Next to face the challenge are David and Anne.

It's a bit chancy, you know, if it's not right,

going through there at ten mile an hour.

The former HGV driver proved in the semis

he knows how to handle his 12-metre-long outfit.

My heart's beating!

-Good luck. You can do it.

-I know I can do it.

But this time, has he pushed it too far?

Here they come.

Slowly, slowly now, and then go on...

Now you see the size of it,

-he's got to get it...

-That's an enormous caravan.

He's got to get it bang on line.

Look at that! Acres and acres and acres of space.

Yeah, it did.

What? That, either side?

It is a cautious effort of 59 centimetres from David,

which means Keith and the motorhome is still the man to beat.

Too much margin, just too much margin.

-Yeah.

-Oh, could it come in a bit closer?

I am quite happy about it, yeah.

Better to be safe than sorry, I think.

Next up, with the smallest caravan in the competition,

are John and Jenny.

I think we've got two or three inches either side there, don't you?

-I think so.

-Right, let's go for it.

-Yeah.

-OK?

-OK.

-Go for it. We'll go for it.

-Right.

-Yeah? Terrific.

Go for it.

The '60s caravan enthusiasts have already had

a tough decision to make this week...

All of the animals take it in turns to come away in the caravan with us.

..which cuddly toy to take with them.

We like to have a little bit of company.

They like to come and sit in the window

and look out at everybody as they get pitched.

-Our Shauns, our little flock of Shauns.

-It's your turn to come this time...

-It's your turn, guys.

-..isn't it? Cos you haven't been out since Christmas.

-Your turn.

-And we'd better bring the goats, as well.

-All the goats.

-Come on, Gareth and Gerti.

But they're not going soft.

Do you want it right up, John?

-Just halfway up, Jen.

-Halfway.

It's all or nothing.

We'd like to think we can hold our own

against anybody in the final, now.

There's three outfits in the final, and we think

we can give a good account of ourselves, so bring it on.

Yeah.

They have set this really, really tight.

We want to have won it by tonight, let alone tomorrow.

-Here he comes.

-OK.

-He's got to speed up.

-He's going too slow.

He's going slow, yeah.

-Do you want me to watch?

-Yeah.

They have to reach an estimated 10mph through the bales.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-He's going slow.

-Oh!

His slow motion might have put the brakes on his title chances.

-..clearance.

-I was doing it this side as well.

-He's done it, but he was slow.

-Bit slow.

He was too slow. That wasn't 10mph.

-No confidence, either.

-He was just going slow.

I think I left too much room, I think we could've gone tighter.

Don't you think you could've done that a bit quicker?

That was about 5mph.

OK. Right, OK.

-Oh, dear.

-Yeah. Don't like that.

-I feel I've been let down.

John's snail pace goes against him,

which means that, by going through the narrowest gap,

the man with the plan, Keith, and wife Angela take an early lead.

The old heart's still going.

No, it's very good, very good.

That's good fun. Can we do it some more?

As the finalists take a breather,

there's a new caravan cruising the site.

-Who's coming in now?

-David.

-Oh, it's David. Oh, that's nice.

Now I need to get the van pitched on.

David Bird and his mum, Gwyneth,

were knocked out of the competition in the semis.

I did feel sorry for him, because he would like to have won, wouldn't he?

It was a missed opportunity for David.

It is the biggest caravan competition there has been.

It's like the Eurovision Song Contest of caravanning.

It is disappointing that I won't be crowned Caravanner Of The Year.

Obviously, it's the judges' choice, I'm not going to argue with them.

Obviously, they are the judges.

But, yeah, it would have been nice to be there.

He had hoped to take the semifinal by storm...

I can't go up that one!

..but, ultimately, his efforts were in vain.

-Mum, I can't see you.

-Stop, whoa!

-Steady.

-And it wasn't meant to be.

-I can't do it, Mum.

He may be out of the competition...

That's probably one of my favourite outfits.

..but caravanning is still the love of his life.

That's a really nice car and caravan combination.

I like little caravans. And I like cars and caravans together.

I like photos of cars and caravans together.

If he left home and got married and went away,

I'd have no holidays.

Just happy, contently by myself, with my caravan. And my car.

And my magazines. And my teddy bear.

Now back on site, he's dreaming of a recall to the competition.

As we are down here, we could always be a backup contestant

if any of the other competitors have a mechanical breakdown.

We are prepared to quite happily step in.

It will be good if a motorhome got a problem

or got a puncture or something!

I didn't touch the tyres, by the way.

As the self-appointed standbys settle in,

the actual finalists are to face their next challenge.

And it's a test with which most modern-day motorists are unfamiliar.

Navigation in the heyday of the caravan was a demanding task.

There were no sat navs or smartphones to tell drivers

where to go, just a trusty map and good old-fashioned intuition.

-Hello again.

-Hi, Grenville.

-Hi, Grenville.

I have for you your instructions.

Navigate yourself to the Fox and Hounds pub...

The judges expect top-notch navigating from the finalists.

Right, here is your pack.

So, no sat navs are allowed, just a complex Ordnance Survey map.

20 minutes to plan your route...

Starting now.

Thank you very much.

Where are we now?

27 miles from the caravan site, the Fox and Hounds pub

is their destination.

And like navigation challenges of yesteryear,

the couples have to arrive by an appointed time.

"You should arrive at the Fox and Hounds

"exactly one hour, 45 minutes after leaving the rally.

"Coming in early or late will see you penalised."

A-roads, marked as green on their maps, are banned.

No green roads.

No green roads. Can go on the red roads.

We don't want to do this, because that is really narrow,

and we would be stuffed.

We have to have plan B, then, if it's too narrow.

They'll find lots of roads which are quite narrow anyway.

I mean, you may find that one or two have made

a couple of mistakes on the way,

and they might find themselves having

-to go five miles before they can turn around.

-Absolutely, good point.

And then, of course, they've got to come back again.

So they'll be under pressure.

That goes under the railway.

In this challenge, the onus is on the navigators.

There, on the wall, is our sat nav.

John and Jenny's map-reading experience

could give them the edge over their rivals.

So we've got local maps for York and Selby area

when we set off, and then these are the maps en route,

and then we've got the local maps for when we get down there.

We just use the old-fashioned techniques. Semaphore, pigeons.

Plenty of things to keep your bearings.

And they also have a secret weapon they can slip into action.

Sammy's going to have to come to the final, because he's the navigational expert.

-Quite a lucky snake.

-Yes.

Aren't you, Sam? "Yep!"

Right.

19.58, 19.59,

20 minutes. Time's up.

It's now or never for the navigators

as they depart under staggered starts.

Time's up, time to go.

Well, if we head for the M4, you know we've gone home, right?

Right, we're off.

They now have one hour and 45 minutes to reach their destination.

Arriving late or early will be penalised.

The map is upside down, that's a very good start(!)

-Go for it, Dad.

-Go for it.

We've got it all to lose, then, haven't we? It's all to lose.

This is a very difficult task.

It's demanding, I think, no doubt about it.

-Yeah...

-Very difficult.

-It is.

-You're going to earn your keep today, Sammy.

-You are, Sam.

You need to have your finger on where we are all the time.

Yeah, I'm just...

-You can go on a red road, can't you?

-Yes.

-We can't go on a green road, can we?

-No.

-Look at that!

-What is that, a kite?

-It's the one with the stripe over the eye.

-Is it? I didn't really see.

-Finger on the map?

-I'm sorry.

With her digit on the directions,

Angela and Keith are flying in the motorhome.

-We are looking for signs to... Oh,

-BLEEP.

-What was that?

Pigeon hit the screen.

Oh! I'm sorry, I said a very rude word.

Sorry.

-That was scary.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah, I'm all right.

I don't think the pigeon is!

Finger on the map, yeah?

-We can't go on a green road, can we?

-No.

With over 220,000 towing miles, David and Anne have covered

nearly double that of the others' caravanning experience combined.

I like navigating, don't I? I plan all my routes before we come away.

She'll tell me to do one thing

and the sat nav will tell me to do something else.

Invariably, I end up doing what the sat nav tells me

and I should have done what she told me in the first place!

I like to know, all the time, exactly where we are, don't I?

Where are we going to? Uffington?

We should pass a windmill in a minute.

Can you see a windmill?

Away.

-No.

-No.

-They must have pulled the windmill down.

Church on the right.

Oh! We should have gone left!

Church on the right, we're going south now.

-Too far?

-Too far. The church is on the right.

-Turn around?

-Yes, turn around.

You saw the church on the right, did you?

-Yeah, we need...

-It's there.

Stupid woman.

Angela might be struggling with her navigation,

but John and Jenny are having problems with their classic caravan.

CREAKING

-What was that?

-Stabiliser jumped off.

-Humpback bridge.

-We're not going to be too early.

No, we're not. Stabiliser just jumped off.

Right, I'll just check the route while you do that.

I need a wee.

And with the one hour 45 minutes counting down,

it's all getting a bit too much for Keith.

We haven't got a lot of time.

So don't take very long in there.

-Can you get me a cake out as well?

-Yeah.

We've got half an hour.

Are we going the right way?

Oh, we're on the A4!

We should have gone down the other one.

Anne's taken David to an A-road, marked as green on their map.

I can't go up here, I've got to turn round. I can't go up here!

-We've got to turn round and go back.

-OK, OK.

Turn right.

No matter what they do now, they will be hit with penalty points.

-Are we back on track, now, are we?

-No, not yet.

You're doing very well, sausage. Very well. And you, Sam.

John and Jenny are making good time.

A few more miles and they'll be home and dry.

-Sammy said you're doing well, Dad.

-Thank you, Sam.

-Sammy said that he likes these roads.

-You do, don't you, Sam?

What's going off here?

Is that horses?

-It looks like a horse in the middle of the road.

-Yes.

I reckon there's been an accident.

I reckon something's gone wrong with the Tesco van.

This will put more time on.

It could blow their chances of arriving at the appointed time.

Need any help? I presume you've called for an ambulance.

You're doing it now. Are you OK?

OK, OK.

There's nothing we can do.

They've got an ambulance on the way, there's nothing we can do.

-Let me just warn these cyclists.

-Yeah.

You might want to take it steady,

a young lady has been thrown off a horse down there, with a Tesco van.

The horses looks a bit frisky.

You might be as well off walking past it.

You will see it, it's obvious. OK, guys.

Hang on just a minute.

A young lady has been thrown off a horse down there.

There are horses on the road, there are people with them,

but they're a bit frisky. There's an ambulance on its way to them.

I'm not sure David would have got past there,

-in that big outfit.

-No.

-Are we going on a green road?

-Oh, not again!

Turn around and go back.

Right, where's London? Down there?

Finger on the map, where are we, so I can see?

-Should be an aerodrome over there.

-Yeah.

-Oh, hallelujah.

-Straight on.

-Keep your finger on it.

-Yeah, yeah.

They've got four minutes, they've got four minutes to get here.

Come on, Dad, you can do it.

-All right. I'm not rushing, Sam.

-No, no, no, we can't, Dad,

cos it's only a 30 limit, this is a village.

With the clock counting down, will they meet the judges on time?

Are the gods with us today, do you think?

I don't think we'll quite make it.

-That's quite incredible.

-30 seconds to go.

We're looking for the pub.

-Somerby Road.

-Somerby Road, there.

-Here they are.

-Whoa!

-My goodness.

That is just unbelievable.

Whay!

-Time?

-One hour 44 minutes and 59 seconds.

-Well done, sausage.

-Oh, well done.

-Well done, Sammy.

-That is fantastic timing.

-I think we might be early.

-Do you?

The motorhome is next to park up.

-Hello.

-Welcome!

-Hello.

-Three minutes and 20 seconds early.

-Early. Right.

-OK.

As well as arriving early, Keith and Angela made a mistake by

driving over a bridge they shouldn't have, and will be penalised.

Oh!

Stressed beyond.

Against all odds, David and Anne have found the pub on time.

But they will pay the price for using banned A-roads.

-Welcome.

-Thank you.

-Welcome, navigator.

-Oh.

-Wow.

-Your time was...

-Spot on.

-Your time was good.

John and Jenny's map-reading experience proved to be

the difference. With a perfect time and route, they win the challenge.

-On to the next one, love.

-Yep.

-Doughnut?

-Yes, please.

Have a look at them. Plenty of jam.

Tons of it.

Oh, yes, that's the best part.

David had Anne might have struggled up to now,

but they are taking it in their stride.

These are going back a bit, aren't they?

They have overcome much tougher tests in life.

Oh, that's a good one.

That was the first van we ever bought, for £150.

That was just after I came out of hospital, that was.

Dear, dear, we didn't realise how ill you were, did we?

He had been desperately ill in hospital for a year.

David was struck down with a serious pancreatic condition.

I was sitting in the corridor all on my own with not a soul about,

I didn't know if he was alive or dead.

And they said, no, that I couldn't go home, it would be wiser

to stay if I could.

They don't put it into words, but they just say, you know,

it would be wiser if you stayed with David.

You've got nurses tapping your face and "Come on now, David, wake up."

And I did lie there and think, "Do I want to wake up?

"Leave me alone, I want to go back to sleep, leave me alone."

I was 38.

I thought, "I am too young now,

"I got a lot of life I want to live first."

I fought back.

I count myself very, very lucky to be still here.

-Very lucky.

-Very lucky.

Going back to caravanning helped you, didn't it?

Going back to caravanning definitely helped, yes.

Caravanning has been a very, very big part of our lives.

And now with the grandchildren coming with us as well.

With 37 years of treasured caravanning memories,

their experience could be crucial in the next challenge.

Hospitality has been a huge part of the caravanning experience

since the first towers pitched up.

The finalists are to wine, dine and show the judges a good time

with not just food, but entertainment too.

They might be in a mobile holiday home,

but it doesn't mean standards have to drop.

I'm a big fairy light fan, I love them.

I'm getting ready for action.

With a budget of £50, they've had the week to plan their party,

and now have just three hours to prepare for the judges' arrival.

-Come on, Shaun.

-Big Shaun.

Pushing the boat out for our best mates, the judges!

The couples can only use the facilities in their caravan

to rustle things up.

It's nearly as good as my boil-in-the-bag trifle.

I'm making steamed nettle and bacon soup,

which I found on Martin Dorey's website.

I thought that looked really interesting and unusual

and cost-effective,

given that the raw ingredients are everywhere outside, free.

It's important to get this positioning right,

because I'm an engineer and I'm a bit of a...

I like things symmetrical.

They have to look right.

I do like symmetry.

I think I might move it over there. Plan B.

Keith and I are the opposite of one another in almost every way.

He is very organised and tidy, I am very messy and random.

It's lucky we've got an awning that's symmetrical.

Cookery lessons, that's out of my comfort zone!

Shall I tell you what my first cookery lesson was?

I went to the grammar school and the teacher said,

"Girl, boil three bottles of milk."

So what did I do?

I put the bottles in the saucepan and I lit the gas.

So that's my cooking skills.

Preparing food might not be her forte, but for the final,

Anne is pushing the boat out.

Every decision is crucial.

I wonder if I should cut those in half or leave them whole.

John and Jenny are celebrating

their classic Cheltenham caravan with a 1960s theme.

I'm not starting drinking yet.

I'm marinating me meat!

There we go.

Their 52-year-old oven is up against the others' modern facilities.

The Yorkshire couple embrace the traditional ways of doing things.

The beans will definitely go with the beef bourguignon.

If their fresh veg doesn't impress the judges...

-Get the boots out, love.

-..upstairs in the bedroom,

they hope they have something that WILL catch their eye.

These are my boots that I...

She wanted platforms but couldn't find the right size.

..that I will wear with my mini skirt.

-And here's my mini skirt.

-Is yours mini?

-My little mini skirt.

It'll catch their attention!

Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing will remain to be seen.

The Cheltenham Club can party like I've never known.

One particular evening,

they were partying so hard that one of our members,

who had better remain nameless, almost got into the wrong caravan.

I think that's going to go there.

I wish you'd hurry up.

I'm coming.

One, two, three, four.

-Some more?

-Need a bit more.

-Yellow?

Maybe a couple more tomatoes?

Whilst Anne continues to think through her salad,

David has his own business to attend to.

-I think I'm going to have to walk down to the toilet.

-Open the window.

His call to nature is a blessing for Anne.

I would prefer to be in here on my own now

because he keeps coming up - "Shall we do this?

"Shall we do that?"

-Right. Put the oven on now for the bread.

-Is that a bit early?

-I'm just going to put the oven on.

-Is it a bit early?

OK.

See? He's interfering.

Interfering!

Even from the toilet!

Can't do much without anybody knowing really.

If I put these next to those, they look too similar.

So I'm going to distinguish them

by putting the more colourful ones in the middle.

Da-da!

Not much escapes Keith's planning treatment, not even wife Angela.

She tends to leave planning to me,

but I think a bit of it is rubbing off on her, you know?

Quite a frightening thought, actually. I'd rather be random.

Going to turn into one...

It's like people who grow to look like their dogs.

Bit of lippy now and a bit of eyeshadow and a bit of this

and a bit of that.

Getting our outfits out, shall I?

-I think we're going to have to get changed soon.

-OK.

As the finalists make their last preparations,

David and Gwyneth can't help but pop by to see what's going on.

Last week, we were on this field.

So it's bringing back memories, coming back through here.

To the place where it all went wrong!

But mum and son have put themselves on standby

in case anything happens to the finalists.

They've even planned a hospitality menu.

Might have done a full English breakfast,

so I would have had the sausage and the egg and the beans.

-The black pudding.

-Black pudding.

-Bacon.

-Fried bread.

-Mushrooms.

-Mushrooms.

So... But hey, they're not getting that.

-So...

-So...

-We've got the stuff in the van.

It is a bit gutting.

This is what you could have won, almost, situation, isn't it?

But, obviously, here to support the three finalists and see how they do.

-What do you think?

-Yeah.

-Wish you were here?

-I do. When you see this.

-Sounds horrible, doesn't it?

-We're disappointed, but we're not bitter.

No!

No, I mean...

Where have those three hours gone?

Amazing.

-Nibbles, party poppers.

-It's nearly time.

Ten minutes to go, but we're ready.

This is a waistcoat that I only get out for special events,

usually Christmas, but as this is our party,

I thought I'd get this out.

This waistcoat's come from Guatemala.

So it's very bright colours cos they make them out there.

So, yes, it's a bit more of the wow the judges sort of thing.

Looking forward to me cocktail!

I feel very nervous. We've tried very hard, we've tried our best.

It's still quite nerve-wracking, being judged.

-Are you ready for dinner, guys?

-I am quite excited, quite hungry.

The judges' first dinner dates are Keith and Angela.

Honestly, waiting like this is like waiting for your execution.

-Now, do you guys cook when you're out camping?

-I do.

-You do?

-What's your favourite meal?

-Toast.

-Toast.

-Toast.

Toast, that's it.

Andy might be easy to please,

but professional food writer Martin will be hoping for a lot more.

For dinner, beans!

They're coming! They're coming!

-This is the motor home.

-A-ha!

-So, it's going to be good.

Hello! Welcome to our party!

-Come in!

-Yay! This is brilliant!

-I'm going to relax.

-Keith, I've just got one question.

-Yes?

-Is this waistcoat your idea of getting dressed up?

THEY LAUGH

You're so subtle, Andy. You really are.

-So, three Bellinis.

-Lovely.

-Oh, my goodness!

-Things that my wife has knocked up.

The party gets off to a good start.

Now, this is what we call an amuse-bouche.

-Oh, really?

-Two, three...

-Wahey!

-Whoo!

-Oh!

-That's really...

-Oh, no! There's me Bellinis gone!

Help! I need more Bellini!

I'm hanging on to me slurp, my glass of wine, like grim death!

-They like the canapes.

-The canapes.

I'm not sure about the...

..soup, but we'll see.

It actually looks a horrible colour. Really looks a horrible colour.

When I did it at home, it was a lot greener than this. This looks brown.

Angela was hoping to impress Martin Dorey

by making his nettle soup recipe.

Guess the vital ingredient.

Vital ingredient is soup!

-It is soup.

-So, stock.

-I can see something floating in it.

-Yes.

-Is that the mystery ingredient?

-No.

-Got something kind of bittery.

-Good.

Laurel leaves?

-No.

-Rocket?

No, you're on the right lines though.

-Oh, I think I know what it is.

-Say it?

-And the sting in the tail is...

-My wife does this. This is stinging nettle soup.

-Yeah.

-Correct.

And actually, it's really, really nice.

And it's nicer than the last time I made it.

I really love my soups.

That is as good as you'll get anywhere, in my view.

I love the fact that you've done it, actually.

And actually kudos for doing it because mashing soup through a sieve

is a really nice way of making soups and that's exactly what you've done.

It's not as nice as my wife's, but...

MARTIN CHUCKLES

As the party draws to a close, Angela is going that extra mile.

Can I have your attention, please? This is the grand finale.

As a nod to the northerners, as we are southerners,

we have my wife, Angela, going to give a rendition of a grand

famous northern poem called The Lion And Albert.

-Marvellous.

-Very good.

And I'd like to introduce to you, Angela.

APPLAUSE

OK!

-NORTHERN ACCENT:

-There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool...

The am-dram in the awning is her moment to shine.

-Well, I am vexed!

-Ah, well done!

-I haven't finished.

-Haven't finished yet!

Waste all our lives raising children to feed ruddy lions?

Not me!

The judges are impressed.

-What more could you honestly ask for?

-More alcohol.

The Bellinis ran out.

The reason there wasn't enough alcohol was

-cos you spilled most of it.

-I spilled half of yours, yeah.

We've got a long way to go yet. We've got two more parties to go to.

-Well, I'm feeling very up for the next one.

-Party animal, you.

-Absolutely.

-It was good fun. So far, it's all gone to plan.

That word again, the P word.

Yes, and so we should be in with a good chance.

-I think we've done enough to be in the mix. Certainly.

-Mm.

David and Anne are next to wine and dine the judges.

Ooh!

Throwing it at you!

I'm sorry, there should have been sauce, look. But it's dried up.

-Oh, my word. What...

-It's leek wrapped in...

Is it fish? It's not chicken, is it?

-No.

-Is it fowl?

It isn't foul. It's very nice actually.

-I didn't mean that.

-It's leek in a cheese sauce.

-Is it just called...

-It's just called leek in a cheese sauce.

Yeah, well, that's not very exciting, is it?

Anne has never tasted her cheesy leeks,

so it's a step into the unknown for them all.

Oh, blimey, it's a bit tough.

Cut the end off.

Cos it might be hard at the end.

No, it's the best bit.

Nothing like a hard end.

-Grenville.

-Behave yourself.

-Don't lower the tone, please.

I've got wine running across here. One of them's leaking.

-Yes, my glass has...

-This one's cracked, as well.

-THEY GROAN

-Oh, not another one.

-They were 50p for eight.

-That's mine, as well.

You know, I mean, have a Scottish glass.

-It's not a wine glass, but, erm...

-That's fine, that's fine.

Tasty. I like the breadcrumbs on the top.

It's beautiful.

After a bumpy start, Anne's won the judges over.

-Well, that's shut us all up, hasn't it?

-Mm.

-It certainly has.

David has got a trick up his sleeve with some after-dinner games.

-Oh, brilliant, Grenville.

-Yay!

-Oh, well done.

Yeah, absolutely right, well done.

Oh, no.

-Away we go.

-Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Have they done enough to take top spot?

-Cheers.

-Bye.

It was different, wasn't it? Completely different to...

Different. And very hard to compare.

See, these guys I think it was their personality

-that carried them through.

-Yes, it was.

-Which was great.

I think I'm going to have a lie down in a darkened room.

I know. Thought it went well.

-Much, much better than what we thought, wasn't it?

-Yes.

-Yes, yeah. Excellent.

-Yeah, it did.

-Very much better than what we thought.

-Yeah, it did.

I'm not so stressed. The stress has gone.

Two parties down, the judges have just one more to go.

I'm sure we're all looking forward to meal number three.

-Oh, yes.

-I missed pudding.

And the '60s caravan enthusiasts are ready to crank it up a notch.

And who knows? You might get a glass of vino.

Oh, my good... Look at that.

-Look at this! What have we got here?

-How about this?

Love and peace.

Welcome, friends, to the 1960s.

-Brilliant.

-Can't wait.

Hey, babe, you look gorgeous.

Welcome, gents, to the 1960s.

I think I'm hallucinating.

Unbelievable.

Do have a little nibble.

This is what it's all about.

There's things to nibble on sticks,

there's some prawns there and there's some Marie Rose sauce

to dip into if you want.

-Classic combinations.

-Absolutely.

Cheese and pineapple on a stick chucked in an orange.

Doesn't get much better.

The judges are digging the vibe.

I'm transported back in time.

Oh, this is good.

It's so cosy in here.

We're not having another full meal, we're having a main.

-Just a boeuf bourguignon.

-You can just nibble at it.

Just nibble. Pick at it. Pick at it if you wish.

I shan't be offended if you leave it.

Jenny serves up her '60s boeuf bourguignon with green beans.

-Oh, my goodness, look at that.

-Oh, my word.

We go more in winter than we do in summer.

Oh, and I tell you... That smell.

We get in the van about four o'clock in winter.

-Get a whiff of that. Oh, wow!

-Just marvellous, this is.

-Yeah, well, it spreads.

-It's really good.

You made all this? Did you make...

Did you make it from scratch in the caravan?

Yeah, it was. Yeah.

-In that little oven.

-It's fabulous. Really.

An hour and a half to two hours.

-It was a real '60s favourite, wasn't it?

-Yeah, it was.

-Kind of, you know, bit of something exotic.

-Yes.

So far, so good.

Let's clear the decks.

Now for the entertainment.

Some of you may remember some of these things from the '60s.

Ah! Nikki did! Nikki said the same. She'd had one.

And somebody might like to have a little play with that.

There we are, done it.

Hey! Amazing!

You can keep your Xbox, honestly.

Who needs a Wii?

Who needs a what?

THEY LAUGH

It's time for the judges' verdict.

Classic food from the era of the caravan.

These guys have made an effort to be very '60s.

Yeah, goes back to the era that that caravan was built.

Absolutely.

For John and Jenny, it's job done.

-Surprise.

-A certain amount of surprise with the outfits.

I think it brought a smile to their face, though.

It made Andy smile, I've got to say. Yes, he smiled.

-Yes, yes.

-A lot.

I've got to say, I think this is Jen's weekend.

I'm just being towed around for the ride.

I don't think so.

I'm here for the ride.

Yep.

John's luck is in,

as the judges have given Jenny's '60s food top spot.

But Keith and Angela's show-stopping performance wins best entertainment.

It's the last day of the finals weekend.

The couples have one last chance to battle it out

for the title of Caravanner Of The Year.

We're just going to go and do our best.

We're just going to do what we normally do and hope for the best.

Yes. We're just going to be ourselves.

Were not going to try and do anything different.

I think they're looking for a spread of skills across the board.

So, bring it on.

There are challenges, but equally there's other factors

that we're not aware of. So, I think we could still win.

Only one couple can be crowned champions.

But there's someone on site who's tasted glory before.

-They're not fancy trophies.

-They don't have to be.

That was the 1997 arrival run winner's trophy.

-And that was the 1996 economy run runner-up trophy, so...

-Right.

-Lovely.

-It was a good run...

with a tailwind, it was nice.

All the old makes.

David has a treasure trove of caravanning titbits

he can show John and Jenny.

Now, I don't...

You can't put your camera down, can you?

Right, I'll bore you now with photos.

That's the Whirlwind with the Escort. '84.

-Very lightweight.

-Yes.

-Mm.

Another Escort this time.

The old 16ft Major.

-Mm. God.

-I think my outfit was just a little bit longer.

-Oh, dear me.

-So, yeah, I got a few looks.

-I've had this van...

-Oh, Cheers, Gwyneth.

Thank you. Life-saver.

-Just over two years.

-Oh, right.

This is when we were in America.

We went to a caravan factory.

Miniature.

Now, that's an old Elddis Whirlwind, about '67/'68.

Good luck.

Been fascinating, David. Those books, fascinating.

-Good to see you.

-Yes, indeed. Good luck.

-Thanks a lot.

Bye-bye, Gwyneth.

-Oh, we'll get a real car.

-Er, yeah.

Bye.

The time has come for the final challenge to begin.

This is exciting stuff now.

This is... This is where your nails get bitten down.

I think we're in for a real toughie here.

Having won two challenges each,

Keith and Angela and John and Jenny are neck and neck,

leaving Anne and David with work to do to catch up.

With one last chance, the next test is the ultimate decider.

The economy drive was once a mainstay of Caravan Club Rallies,

testing the driver's ability to conserve fuel

en route to a chosen destination.

A journey has been designed which can be completed in 24 miles.

I'm filling up the tank to the absolute limit.

As each vehicle is capable of doing this

with less than a gallon of fuel.

Right up to the brim.

Once back at the caravan site, the tanks will be topped up.

And if it takes more than a gallon of fuel to refill,

they will fail the challenge.

We're going to go through Ketton.

I think, towing a huge caravan obviously...

probably going to use more fuel.

So, we could be...

probably doing it more efficiently

than the two caravan towers, I think.

Not only will the couples have to keep an eye on their fuel,

they'll have to contend with a back-seat driver.

Let's go.

The judges.

So, we're now on the economy run.

For fuel economy, choosing the right route is paramount

to avoid stop/start journeys.

What's your plan from now?

You get the best fuel economy, apparently,

on major roads going at 50.

I'm trying to keep that rev counter down below 2,000 rpm.

If I can keep it down below 2,000 rpm

-for as long as I can, I'll be happy.

-I see.

Listen, Martin, I think, weighs a bit less than Grenville.

Maybe.

Oh, now you're pushing your luck.

The best way to conserve fuel is to drive slow and steady.

Are we likely to get a build-up of vehicles behind us, do you think?

There is a risk of that, yes. On the 60mph roads.

Keith is very considerate in that respect.

Is there anyone behind you?

Yep. Loads.

Oh, we wanted there, didn't we?

-We wanted that road.

-We wanted that road?

-Yes.

-Oh, no.

-That's a good start.

-They've got lost.

-Can you re-route it?

-Where are we?

-There.

Are we lost?

Carry on and go up that one.

I've got a horrible feeling we're going over it.

Here we are, plan B.

Plan B. Plan B.

I mean, coming through the town clearly will not have helped.

So, what kind of responsibility does your navigator have for that?

Total.

If it goes wrong, it's totally her fault.

I don't want to keep stopping.

Keep going.

And do you normally navigate?

-Right hand.

-No.

-One, two.

-Sat nav, normally.

-Sat nav, normally.

So, using a map is something completely different for you guys.

I always use a map, even with the sat nav.

-I don't trust it.

-So, you're quite comfortable using maps.

Oh, I love maps.

With her map-reading mojo back,

could Anne and David be stealing a march on the others?

-Right, which way am I going, please?

-What did I tell you?

You didn't.

There's Stamford up there.

-Which way am I going? Quick.

-Right round, right round.

-Sorry.

-Never mind.

We're used to that. Quite often.

Stamford. A43.

-Which way?

-Next sign.

-Missed the sign.

-I missed the sign.

Before it gets dark, they could do with a little help.

Left, left, left.

Left, left, left. Sorry.

That was an illegal move by me.

I didn't hear you.

Can I open a window? Have you got air-con in here?

Oh, yeah. I've turned it off though.

Why have you turned the air conditioning off?

Oh, it's rumoured to use a bit more fuel.

You are so keen, this is insane.

-So parsimonious.

-You're a bit of a fuel-consumption nutter.

-We're just going to have to take all our clothes off.

-Looks like it.

On a real economy run you just have to get naked.

You do. Yeah.

We have the level crossing down.

Hopefully it's quick.

After their detour through a town,

Keith and Angela are having to stop again.

I could turn it off, actually.

Continual stops and starts will eat up their fuel.

Could be ages.

For Keith, there's only one solution to the setback.

Can I have a cake?

Biscuit?

Whatever there is.

Are we there yet?

Not yet. Oh, you've not got far to go now.

-Bear with us.

-Yeah.

This is high speed. That's probably why they've shut it early.

-Mm. Do you want a biscuit as well?

-Mm.

Are we on the right road?

-Pass.

-Pass.

What?

That's it, quick, get it down you.

Go.

Keith's refuelled himself with a bickie break.

-Are we there?

-Nearly, nearly.

Are we there yet, John?

But Andy could do with a drink.

I can't last out much longer, I really...

This is it. I'm at the end of my tether.

And it's heating up in Anne and David's car, as well.

Oh, you could have gone down that one.

That was a lorry's way.

Oh, thanks for telling me after I've passed.

Well, the sign is on the turning. I'm sorry, you're going very...

Oh, here we go.

Very soon we can actually get some fresh air.

Tell you what I'll do, I'll really treat you.

-Oh, John!

-There we go.

ANDY WHIMPERS

Did you sense just a tad of exaggeration then?

A little. He's a bit of a drama queen perhaps.

The classic caravanners, John and Jenny, have arrived.

Well, apart from having somebody whining in the back

for the last 20 miles, it was OK.

Keith and Angela are not far behind.

-Well, well done.

-Oh, thank you.

We made it back.

We're all in one piece.

Just about in one piece, yeah.

Well done.

-Would you try and find out where we are, please?

-Well, how...

-How can I find out, Dave?

-You know, look at the map. For goodness' sake.

-Right, what road am I on?

-Look at the damn map.

-Well, what road am I on?

-I don't know.

You were the navigator, not me.

I'm driving.

Cocked this right up now.

-You have now.

-I have.

Which way are we going?

I think we're going to give up and put the sat nav on.

I want to get out.

Right, we've put the sat nav on.

By using their sat nav they are disqualified from this challenge.

We passed this, didn't we?

Oh, stupid.

Stupid we are. It was.

-6.05.

-Stupid.

As they arrive, it's all too much for Anne.

ANNE SOBS

It wasn't your fault.

-BOTH:

-Very, very challenging.

But there we are. We've done our best.

-Didn't go according to plan.

-No, not at all. Not at all.

But never mind.

Come here, you. It wasn't your fault.

OK. Sorry, anyway.

-There was two of us in the car.

-I know, I'm sorry.

-The two of us' fault.

-I'm sorry I broke down.

While it's a setback for David and Anne,

the others still have a chance of glory in the challenge.

It's going down.

-So, that's a gallon, is it?

-Yeah.

When the couples began the task, their tanks were full.

Well, I would think that's probably another...

Maybe another pint or two?

Here we go.

Each vehicle is capable of completing the 24-mile journey

with under a gallon of fuel.

So, any more than that needed to refill will mean they failed.

-That's empty.

-Oh, dear.

Very, very close.

The wrong turns took their toll on the engines

because no couple successfully completed the challenge,

but John and Jenny came the closest.

Fellow Caravan Club members are welcomed for the results.

And guest judge at the semifinals, Lucy-Jayne Grout,

has come to watch proceedings.

We've really come to the point where we've got to deliberate.

It leaves Grenville, Andy and Martin with a difficult decision to make.

You could almost feel the tension, couldn't you,

as they set off to do these various tests?

They put their hearts and soul into it.

It hasn't been easy. It's been demanding, tiring...

-Stressful.

-Enjoyable.

-And we've made lovely friends.

-Good friends.

-I have to say, they didn't put a foot wrong.

-Right.

They literally didn't put a foot wrong.

She was superb. And they didn't once lose their cool.

Yes, I should think we probably ran the whole gamut of emotions

over the past couple of weeks.

Now we're at the apprehensive point.

Who's going to be on the top of the podium?

They've all stepped up and they've all, you know, surprised themselves.

I think they're all winners. Sadly, there can only be one winner.

Whoever has won will be very deserving winners.

Because I think it's been very tough.

-Both weekends have been tough.

-Mm.

And this weekend in particular has been very difficult.

So, gentlemen, we are, I believe, agreed that we now know

who is Caravanner Of The Year.

-Agreed.

-We are agreed.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the presentation for the Caravanner Of The Year.

We've had a truly incredible two weekends.

We've seen incredible excitement, some real, real tension

and I'm delighted to announce that the winner of the very first

Caravan Club Caravanner Of The Year is...

It's John and Jenny!

THEY CHEER

-Well done.

-Well done, well done.

By coming top in both the navigation and economy drive,

and serving the best food in the hospitality challenge...

-Yes!

-Hooray!

..John and Jenny take the title.

It's been Jen's weekend, this weekend.

It's Jen that's done it all this weekend.

Absolutely flabbergasted, to be honest.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-Well done.

-CHEERING

I still go on from here happy to say

-I competed in the Caravanner Of The Year.

-I was third.

-And I came third.

-Yeah.

-Thank you, Andy.

-Well done.

-Great, thank you.

-Motorhomes!

We came here with the direct aim

of fighting the corner for the motorhomes.

-Yeah.

-And we did.

-Yeah.

And so everybody out there who wants to buy a motorhome,

we hope that we persuaded you it could be a good idea.

We want to wave to you. We're waiting.

-Shall we give them a wave?

-The motorhome wavers. Hey!

-Hey!

Go on, then, Sam. You're going to be a star.

Say, "Caravan Club." Say, "Caravan Club."

-Caravan Club.

-There you go.

It's been terrific. It's given us a lot of great memories.

Come on.

Cuddle, cuddle. Oh, well done, sausage. Well done.

Lovely.