Single v Settled Cherry Healey: How to Get a Life

'I'm Cherry Healey

'and in the last few years my life has been turned on its head.

'I have gone from this...

'to this...'

BABY CRIES

'..and then to this.

'I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like the world

'is running away from me, and it's high time I caught up.

'So I'm determined to get some answers

'to life's fundamental questions.

'Does my bum look big in this? Am I too old to take drugs?

'Do I need a Brazilian?

'Today, I want to find out what a modern relationship

'looks like in a world where anything goes.

'Does single equal sad and lonely? Or is it sexy?

'Is coupledom the mark of success, or just plain smug?

'I'm going to be meeting a cast of characters from the cool

'to the crazy to the conventional

'to find out whether they prefer being single or settled.'

'I'll be hearing from a young couple who keep their relationship fresh

'by inviting other people into their bed.

'A 22-year-old who's on the hunt for Mrs Right.

'Two singletons who definitely aren't,

'with over 250 notches on the bedpost between them.

'And twin sisters, one single, one married with a baby,

'who perfectly sum up the dilemma.

'I will be getting a taste of life in their world.'

It is really, really fun.

I am flirting quite badly

and that is a little bit embarrassing.

I am a married woman with a child.

'Then I will be inviting them into mine,

'and bringing them back to my hub - my base for the next few months -

'in a bid to get them to confess all.'

Do you think you are a bit of a commitment-phobe?

I'm very cautious about making sure that it's right.

But I think that might be why you are still single,

because it's unrealistic.

Do you think that a monogamous relationship for life

-exists any more?

-No, definitely not.

'Will they end up teaching me something about my life?

'Or can I help them change theirs?'

Did you have sexual intercourse?

Your face says, "I had sex."

Every week, I go through a listing magazine

and I used to start at the beginning of the magazine

where all the club nights are, crazy raves,

nights where you have to dress up, and now that I am settled,

I go towards the back of the magazine,

where all the television listings are, and I have a look at what's on.

And what worries me is that... I am really happy now,

but now that I'm settled, have I become a bit boring?

'Not in those leggings, I'm not.'

'First on my journey to uncover the truth about relationships

'are two people who are definitely not boring.

'Nearly 60% of Brits have had a one-night stand.

'5% of us admit to having had over 20.

'Now, I'm all up for celebrating your singledom,

'but it's got me thinking.

'Just how many sexual partners is too many?

'I found two people who don't seem to have any limits.'

My name is Matty Lynch.

I'm 27 years old and I have slept with, ballpark figure,

roughly about 80-odd women.

My name is Biannca.

I'm 28 years of age and I have slept with

round about 170 men.

'I want to find out if the rules for putting it about

'are different for men and women.

'So I've asked Matty and Biannca to let the cameras follow them

'for a day...

'and a night.'

'In the heart of central London lies this backpackers' hostel,

'temporary home to a constant stream of young foreign tourists.'

# Love machine... #

'And one horny hostel manager.'

Hey!

Mwah! Love you!

I do get to meet a lot of girls every day, checking people in,

introducing them to the hostel, taking them out on pub crawls.

You have a three-day or a three-month relationship with a person,

then you meet the next person and you're onto a new relationship.

One of the key things about getting girls at a hostel

is letting them know you have your own room,

because as I'm sure you know, in hostels, everyone has a bunk bed.

So most of the people who have sex in hostels,

and that's quite a few people, it's the showers.

And who wants to have sex in the shower?

OK, so this is the conquest map of the world.

My favourite nationality would definitely have to be Chile.

I also love my Scandinavians, Australians...

Yeah, I love them all.

At the hostel I have probably slept with about,

it would be 21 now.

22, actually. I forgot last week.

'South Woodford, Essex.

'Home to model, dancer and party girl Biannca Lake,

'who has shared her considerable charms with over 170 men.'

I don't think I am a slut. I'm just popular.

There's too many beautiful boys out there to be with just one.

I love the attention. I get a lot of attention

when me and my girls go out.

'But it's not a good dance

'Biannca is looking for when she goes out clubbing.'

I would say on a night out I would get about six or seven numbers, yeah.

'And she always has a plan B, just in case she has a slow night.'

If I don't pull in the club, it's definitely a call to the booty call.

# It's a booty call... #

A booty call is a guy that you keep seeing.

You might have a one-night stand with him

and then basically when he is near you ring each other up,

or when you go to a club and you don't get quite lucky,

you just call them up and see where they are.

Hey, listen, threesome, OK? My room, check-in is at 10.30.

'To avoid a booty call of his own tonight,

'Matty has already got one lucky hostel resident in his sights.'

-What are you up to? Do you want to marry me?

-Yeah, sure, yes.

If that's all right - I'm feeling a little bit lonely at the moment.

It's really important if you are trying to get with girls

to be the centre of attention,

to be the guy who stands out above the rest, like be the manager of the hostel for instance

or getting your guitar out and getting everybody round.

If you stand out from the crowd, peacocking as they call it,

then you are going to have a lot more success than somebody

who sits in the corner and waits for them to come to him,

cos it's not going to happen.

'With his pulling strategy in place, he's locked onto his target.'

-Right. Are you ready for tonight?

-Yeah.

-Are you ready for this?

-Yes.

# Just one kiss will make it better... #

'With love on tap at the hostel, Matty barely has to try,

'but for Biannca, the chase is half the fun.'

When I see a guy, I'm not going to lie, I'm ruthless.

When I like a guy, I just literally go straight up to him,

no point worrying... We'll get down and get busy.

If you're a shit kisser, you're going to be a shit shag.

So basically, you've got to pass that one first, and then it's cool.

We can work from there.

The boys can touch, but they can't fall in love.

That's the biggest turn-off of them all.

My friends are like,

"Don't you ever wish you could just have that someone special?"

No!

All right, maybe for like Christmas and birthdays they come in handy.

Everything else, no way. They're just too stressful.

I just remembered what my good skill is. My lips.

Do you know you hear girls, "He was looking at my boobs"?

No, they are looking at my lips.

They just say to me, "Oh, I bet you'd be good at, you know."

# Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard... #

One thing Biannca never goes out without is her survival kit,

containing all the essentials for a girl on the pull.

I take flats with me, cos obviously the walk of shame in the morning.

I have got all my make-up.

I often put my make-up on before I go to bed

so when I wake up next to the hot guy, he just thinks "Wow!"

And a condom.

Basically, if you ain't got a sock on it you're not coming near me.

So I always take a condom with me.

My bag is packed and ready to go.

# Oh, here she comes She's a maneater... #

Matty and Biannca are at the extreme end of the spectrum,

but they are certainly enjoying their singledom.

We'll be seeing just how much they are enjoying it later.

When I think back to my single years,

it's not the no-strings sex I think of first.

When I was single I used to tell people I'd chosen to be single.

I didn't want a relationship at that phase in my life.

Actually, I was dating like a mad person.

Speed dating, blind dating, internet dating, you name it, I was doing it.

If I'd go on a date and it was good, I would think,

"Ooh, is this the one?"

Having said that, doesn't mean that I didn't absolutely love the process

and really love being single too.

Over half of all single people

say they would rather be in a relationship.

Here's a case in point.

So today I'm in Tamworth in the Midlands to meet this guy, Matthew.

He's 22, he's just come out of a really long relationship

and he's desperate to find another woman.

'I am intrigued to find out why someone so young

'wants to settle down again so quickly.'

I am someone who likes to be in a relationship,

I want someone just to settle down with. I want someone there,

want someone to come home to, someone to talk to,

someone to share a future with. I am missing it big time.

-Hi!

-How are you?

-I was expecting someone looking different to you.

-I know.

-I have changed since.

-To those pictures. Shall we go?

-Yeah.

I was about 18 stone there.

'Matt's half the man he used to be, and not because he's single.

'He's lost a shedload of weight since going solo,

'and it's done wonders for his self-confidence.'

I lost about 4 1/2 stone.

-In what space of time?

-About three, 3 1/2 months.

That's unbelievably quick.

I went to the gym about every single day.

I modified my diet a bit, stopped drinking,

and I just kept running, and it just shred off, to be honest.

-Like Forrest Gump.

-I just kept on running.

I have heard that your nickname is Superhands. Why?

It's not quite a nickname, as an actual name.

-What?

-I changed my middle name by deed poll.

-So your name is actually Superhands?

-Yeah.

Why are you called Superhands?

I was with a girl. Afterwards, she said to me, "You've got super hands."

It's not an unpleasant nickname for a boy, is it?

I mean, you kind of lucked out a bit, didn't you?

It's quite a good one, I think!

-So what are you like with the ladies?

-Average.

In what way?

It's a lack of experience for me, I think. I'm not pushy.

Which is why his mates have an altogether different nickname for him.

He's called the opener, because he opens and never closes, basically.

He talks to a lot of girls but doesn't go any further.

It started off, I was out one night

and there was three girls, a group of them, together.

I managed to kiss all three of them. Didn't close, like, but I opened.

So seeing as Superhands is into jogging,

I have put my running kit on.

I am going to go for a little runabout with him, hopefully keep up.

He's got super hands, maybe he's got super feet.

-Are you ready, then?

-Yeah. Let's go!

# ..Oh, Lord, it may go

# Put your hands on Put your hands on... #

'But Matt's not interested in using his fit new bod just to score.

'He's looking for true love. And I never could resist a happy ending.'

# ..Put your hands on Put your hands on... #

So if you had a magic wand, what kind of girl are you after?

Ideally, I want someone fun, energetic, spontaneous,

up for a laugh.

-What about looks?

-I tend to go for brunettes.

I don't have a magic wand, surprise,

but I do have a bit of a secret weapon.

-Right.

-I have got social media, baby.

-Can you find that perfect one, do you think?

-I'm going to try.

-You know, I'm not going to lie, love is hard to find.

-Yeah.

# ..Put your hands on Put your hands on. #

'Fingers crossed my internet campaign will help him

'find the girl of his dreams.

'It's not as daft as it sounds.

'Last year, newly 20% of couples who got married met online.

'There's nothing virtual about the love lives of Matty and Biannca.

'Later on, I will be finding out why they do what they do.'

-Do you want to be in a relationship in the future?

-Eventually, yeah.

But I don't think no-one does them any more, everyone just cheats.

'But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the, um...ride.'

-# Mr Loverman

-Shabba

-# Mr Loverman

-Shabba... #

Hostel manager Matty is about to head out on a pub crawl.

But before he does, he is boning up on some international chat-up lines.

Shall I say this to you?

HE READS JAPANESE

That means, "Will you sleep with me?" in Japanese.

-How do you say it in French?

-Voulez-vous coucher avec moi.

-That's what that means?

-Exactly!

# Voulez-vous coucher avec moi Ce soir... #

-# Voulez-vous coucher avec moi... #

-To the right.

For Matty, pulling women is a numbers game.

Now he's got another blonde hostel guest in his sights.

This one's from Texas.

-Boom! Don't you love a high-five?

-Do you guys actually love each other?

Not as much as I love you, to be honest.

If you're not confident, you're not going to get anywhere.

Might as well get stuck in.

If they say no, there's always more women.

# Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? #

Like the Don Draper of the backpacking scene,

he's off the bus and into the bar.

It's time to unleash the beast.

MUSIC: "Love Machine" by Girls Aloud

Hello.

It seems to be going very well. A bit of dancing, having it large.

It's still the same two. Leaning a bit more towards Callie.

After a few more G&Ts and a couple of beers,

I think we could get a little bit more dirty dancing than that.

It's not just the ladies who are in for a treat tonight.

Eyelashes at the ready,

Biannca's heading to the West End with best friend Siobhan.

The girls come to this club so often,

they're on first-name terms with the bouncers...

..who make sure they're whisked straight to the VIP area.

As always, Biannca is scouting for men.

But she does have standards, you know,

and so far no-one is cutting the mustard.

The time is 2am, the night's not even started yet. That is early.

Don't worry, there's still hope. It's all there, baby!

Matty and his gang are at their second venue of the night,

but an important member of the party has gone AWOL.

The girl that I was dancing with at the last club,

she disappeared, she got lost.

So then we came to the other club,

and because I was off with that girl, the other girl

I was trying to go with has obviously seen that

and might have got a little bit tired and emotional,

I think is the correct terminology, adjective if you may.

Luckily for Matty, even though girl number one

from Canada has disappeared

and he's blown his chances with girl number two from the States,

girl number three saves the night with a full-on French kiss.

Ooh-la-la!

Something very unexpected happened and I had my receptionist,

Marie, come up and go, "How about it, then?"

I was like, "Well, why not?"

Biannca's night is also looking up,

as she finally manages to reel in a man.

But, with only a quick kiss on offer,

she decides to cut her losses.

Oh, my God. The night has actually been a complete flippin' nightmare,

to be honest.

It's all right, because it is only 2.57 and the night is still young.

A friend of Biannca's has texted her about a party that's happening

just around the corner, featuring hot guys and an even hotter Jacuzzi.

Once she's settled in, Biannca clocks a potential mark

and moves in for the kill.

How does she do it?

You know what, he's a good kisser! You know what that means!

-Do you want to get in the Jacuzzi?

-Yeah.

-Let's go.

I met a really nice guy tonight. I don't actually know what his name is.

Oh, my God, is that really bad?

With the bubbles doing their bit, Biannca and, er, Thingy,

decide to head off somewhere a little more private.

You're not coming in!

Matty's moved on to his third bar.

And, astonishingly, gets his first knockback of the night.

But his luck soon changes,

as his lost Canadian friend finds her way back to the group.

He sees his opening, takes his chance and it's back of the net!

I never expected this to happen.

Down in the bar, dancing with a few girls

and trying my luck I think is the best way to put it.

Then out of the blue, the girl who was lost was then found,

ended up getting with her.

I'm a happy man.

You saw the world map earlier, I'm really hoping that tonight

there's going to be another heart on Vancouver.

# I get all the girls I get all the girls... #

I've asked Matty and Biannca to say goodbye to their beds,

and whoever's in them, to come in for a chat.

There's so much I want to ask them, like are they really having fun?

'It all looks like a bit of an effort to me.'

Nice to meet you. Hi.

-How's it going?

-Hi.

-You're Matty?

-I certainly am.

-Nice to meet you.

I have to know, Matty, did you put a heart on Vancouver?

-Unfortunately not.

-No! What happened?

Well, she ended up getting with a Portuguese guy who was

staying at the hostel, so I got with someone else instead.

Was that one of the girls that you had lined up?

No, just back to the hostel, everyone partied till about 3am

and then back down to the room and sealed the deal, yeah.

And, Biannca, did you have sex?

Yeah.

Isn't having sex in a sauna a bit uncomfortable?

-We never had it in the sauna.

-Where did you end up sleeping with him?

-In the bedroom.

-Oh, really?

-Do you have any places you won't do it?

-Won't do it in a bush.

Not in a bush. So in a conventional bed?

-Yeah, I wouldn't do it in the street or anything.

-Boring!

-I can see you disagree.

-Phone box last week.

-Shut up!

-Seriously, yeah.

-You did it in a phone box?

-Yeah, on the Strand.

-How tall are you?

-6'7".

-Was your head not bashing on the ceiling?

-Hers was.

Since we've last seen you, how many people have you slept with?

-Four people.

-In one month?

-Yeah.

-So one person a week?

-Is that a lot or little for you?

-That's about average.

I've slept with 170 and it's probably now gone up to about 177 now.

If you met a girl and you asked how many people she'd slept with

and she said 177, honestly what would be your first reaction?

-I think I'm in there tonight!

-Really!

Some guys would think this and some guys,

"Eugh, not going near her."

What do you think guys want to hear

when they ask how many people you've slept with?

-What is the magic number for a guy?

-"I've slept with five, babe."

-Really?

I did a bit of Twitter research and I asked how many is too many,

and it was between about three and eight.

When a guy asks how many, a girl, she takes half of hers away

and says the number. And a guy doubles it, that's what I heard.

Do you ever get called a slut?

Yeah, some girls probably do think it,

but I know deep down they just want to be like me.

All the girls are like me, it's just I'm more out there, I'm like,

"Yeah, I banged you, I banged your mate last week

"and I'm banging your mate tonight. Is that all right?" It's cool.

When you go out, you meet a guy, the conquest has happened,

you've sealed the deal, is there any part of that process

that you wish wasn't there, anything you'd like to improve on?

Yeah, that he doesn't fall for you, cos I get that quite a lot,

guys want to make me their girlfriend and I'm not girlfriend material.

But what if you really liked the guy? What if you miss a goodie?

There has been a couple that I've really liked but it's got me so scared.

Why do you get scared? Isn't that what people technically really want?

I think it's because I gave my life to someone before

and he broke my heart, and if I spend a bit too much time

I might fall in love and he might do the same to me.

So I think, yeah.

So you run away from anything that could potentially hurt you?

Oh, my God, I'm going to be lonely!

Do you want to be in a relationship in the future?

Eventually, yeah, but I don't... Relationships are old-school now.

No-one does them any more. I think everyone just cheats.

So do you think a monogamous relationship for life

-exists anymore?

-No, definitely not.

-Really?

I think it is. I've got a lot of my buddies...

-One girl until you die?

-Not at the moment, later on.

-Shut up!

When I'm old and wrinkly.

I've got to ask.

Considering for both of you it's about the numbers,

anything going to happen here?

What you doing later?!

-You're not my type!

-Really, what's your type?

-Sorry! Tall, dark...

-But, but...

-No, but really pretty.

-That's harsh.

-But if I'd a few drinks, maybe.

'Matty and Biannca may not want a ring on their finger,

'but in a single-vs-settle debate, it's clear that plenty of us do.

'In fact, last year the number of weddings in the UK

'rose for the first time in a decade.'

It's really stupid.

Even though I love being married and I absolutely adore my husband,

I haven't actually changed my Facebook status to married yet.

It's like I don't want to admit that I'm out of the game.

And that being settled is in some way boring.

'But what if I could revisit my past and decide once and for all

'whether I preferred being married with a baby

'or footloose and fancy free?

'That's exactly the dilemma I gave two twins.'

My name is Claire Rooney, I'm 29 and I'm single.

My name is Siobhan, I'm 29 and I'm married.

The twins may have identical DNA, but they have opposite lifestyles.

Siobhan, the older twin

by 11 minutes, lives in Luton with husband Ross

and nine-month-old Sebastian, and works full time as a solicitor.

I love being a mum and I love being married.

I just love having the security that comes with that.

While younger sister Claire is the Carrie Bradshaw of Guildford

and works as a PE teacher.

I get to do whatever I like,

I don't have to worry about hurting someone else's feelings.

I like to spend my money on myself.

I like to go out and socialise, I love to go out for dinner.

Two women, one shared upbringing and a very different set of choices.

They're my perfect lab rats.

So I'm going to get them to swap lives for 24 hours to find out

whether they might actually prefer each other's.

-Hello.

-Hello. Hello!

On the face of it,

single sister Claire doesn't have a care in the world,

but she has to deal with a different kind of stress to her sister.

There's the expectation you should be settling down and the clock's ticking.

"Come on, you need to have a baby." But I don't think that way.

-Christmas is a nightmare.

-Why?

Siobhan's married with a baby, my older sister's married with a baby

so everyone's like, "Poor Claire."

-Oh, no! With that face?

-Yeah, pretty much. I'm like, "I'm OK, honestly."

-The pity face.

-Yeah, I hate it. That's what I hate.

How do you feel when you get the pity face?

I feel like there's something wrong with me.

Do you think your sister being married has affected what you want

or how you plan your life?

It's made me realise about what it's like to be married and have a baby.

It's like having an insight before you're actually there.

-What is that insight?

-It's hard work!

'Not today, though. Siobhan's heading out for some fun...with me.'

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's do it.

Claire has only ever looked after Seb on her own

for an hour before, and she forgot to feed him.

If she can't figure out his highchair,

he might go hungry again.

A-ha!

Yum!

Mmm! Just seems like a lot of hassle.

If I want to eat, I just sit down and eat, whereas with him,

you have to get so many things organised first.

Seb, help!

Next up is a hot date with some mums,

provided she can work out how to fold the buggy.

Yes, Sebby!

Car seat, baby. I think we're done.

I left my car keys inside!

Thankfully, the stress levels aren't quite as high

on my date with Siobhan.

When was the last time you were in a salon?

I think I got my hair cut

about two or three weeks before Seb was born

and I haven't had it done since then.

-Is this something you really miss?

-Yeah.

It's just a few moments when I'm not Seb's mum and back to being Siobhan.

Exhausted and delayed by Buggy-gate,

Claire arrives for coffee 40 minutes late.

I know just how she feels.

-I'm really sorry I'm late.

-Oh, it's OK!

Oh, my God!

-Was it good?

-Oh! I don't know how you do it.

I knew it was hard, but I never thought it was this hard.

I'm probably more stressed today than I was at work.

Genuinely.

I was supposed to go to a party tonight, a 30th birthday party.

Not going to happen.

Have you ever in your heart of hearts had a moment

where you've thought, "Just want to be single again"?

I have a moment where I just want to walk out of the room

and leave everyone, you know, and just have five seconds to myself,

but there's absolutely no way I would trade where I am to be single again.

Back at home, Ross has returned to see how Claire's coping with dinner.

But it's not the food going in that's causing the problem.

-I think he's pooing.

-Yes, this could be a nice challenge for you.

Seb, don't do it! It's going to stink.

I'm not looking forward to that.

Urgh! Urgh!

Never do that again to Aunty Claire.

It's 8pm, and Seb is finally asleep,

and Clark finds herself going for the housebound mum's hat-trick

of sofa, plus wine, plus telly.

Sounds lush to me.

'Having dodged the dirty nappies tonight,

'Siobhan's out with her two best friends,

'who she hasn't seen in over three months.'

-Cheers!

-Cheers.

Siobhan, to being a single girl again.

Do you think that people's perception of being settled

is that it's a bit boring?

-Yeah, I think so.

-Why do you think that is?

I think it's because you let people down a lot,

so you can't go out as often, and so people stop inviting you

because it's like, oh, she's probably not going to come anyway.

Cheers. To the single life.

One night only.

Siobhan seems to be having a brilliant time.

We've had a lovely day together.

I think she feels really relaxed and pampered.

She's finally had some time to herself.

But I think it's time that I go home to my baby.

And partly cos I'm knackered. Is that because I'm boring and settled?

It's been three weeks

since the twins submitted to my life swap experiment.

Now I want to find out what it's taught them about each other's lives, and about their own.

-How are you ladies?

-Good, thank you.

-Yeah, fine, thank you.

-Recovered?

-Yeah, just. Just about.

And for you, you didn't seem to particularly enjoy your day off.

I felt like I was at a bit of a loose end.

I kind of don't feel like I took advantage of it completely,

but I always had Seb in the back of my mind.

Has it made you feel differently about your life in any way?

Yeah, I completely appreciate that it's really fulfilling

and it's better than just having time off and looking after myself.

I imagine there are mums who find it a complete chain around the ankle,

but it's because it's the right time in my life for it that I'm so happy with it.

And did it make you feel different about your life?

It made me appreciate my life in the sense of

I'm actually really lucky,

I don't have to worry about other things

that Siobhan has to worry about, yeah.

Why bother getting married?

You've got this family unit, why not just cohabit with Ross?

I just think there's something nice in saying officially

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you." And I'm realistic,

marriages end, I understand that, but it's just about saying, "Right,

"we're going to support each other and start a family together,"

and I think it's just nice to do that married.

Do you think there is such a thing as "the one"?

I do, because I think it's important you're with someone that gets you

and complements you and you complement them.

I don't think there is.

I think they could be loads of people could be "the one" guy,

I think it depends on who you are, who you're meeting.

I don't think there is necessarily one person in the world

for one person, otherwise what are the chances?

Got to make the chances.

-You like the notion of there being one person you find, fate brings you together?

-I like that idea.

But I think that might be why you're still single,

because it's unrealistic. In my view, you've got to...

Me and Ross are special, but that's because we work hard at it.

-Do you think you're a bit of a commitment-phobe?

-I wouldn't say I'm a commitment-phobe,

I'd just say I'm very cautious about making sure that it's right,

because I've been in a situation where I thought we were both on the same page and quite clearly,

we were on different pages, and it came as a shock.

Having spent a day in each other's lives,

is that anything that you would change about each other's?

I just want you to get married and have babies. I do!

That's only so Seb can have a little playmate.

It's not, I just want you to...

I know you're happy, but just I want you to, like...

-She just gave me the pity face, did you see that?

-Yeah, I did!

She just gave me the pity face!

No, but I do, I just want you to have that kind of support,

because I do worry about you sometimes,

that it's kind of you against the world, so I just...

you know, I just want to change everything.

I'd probably create a few more extra hours in the day

that Siobhan could have to do what she wanted with it,

although she'd probably still spend it with Seb.

So you'd both give each other a little bit of your own lives?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. I think so.

-Maybe you could babysit a bit more.

-Not on my own!

-No.

I can really relate to Siobhan's take on marriage, it's really pragmatic.

Yes, marriage can be hard work, but wow, the pay-off is amazing.

I also really understand where Claire is coming from.

Not so long ago, I was also single,

and felt like people were looking at me like I was lonely

when actually, I was having a really good time.

Why can't being single be a valid lifestyle choice?

'And singledom doesn't seem like such a bad idea

'when all the gossip mags are filled with painful celebrity splits.

'Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis,

'Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

'If the celebs can't get it right,

'then what hope is there for us mere mortals?'

Maybe it's the pressure of staying faithful that pushes us apart.

Perhaps we're just not really cut out for monogamy.

I've met a young couple who believe that you can be in a committed relationship and sleep around.

I've come to a small town in South Wales -

think Gavin And Stacey without the seaside -

to meet a young couple who spice up their six-month relationship

with threesomes and a spot of bondage. As you do!

-Hello.

-Hi.

-Are you Rhianydd?

-Yes, I am. Hi.

-I'm Cherry.

-Hi, come on in.

Thank you.

'My host is 19-year-old Rhianydd,

'who lives here with her boyfriend James.

'He's at work, so us girls can have a little natter.'

Where did you meet James?

Um...we met on a night out.

It just developed into something romantic.

It wasn't supposed to be romantic, it was strictly business,

-if you know what I mean!

-Just friends?

-With benefits, yeah.

-I see.

-Was he quite experienced?

-No, not at all...in the slightest.

-Was he a virgin?

-He was, yes.

Did you know?

I didn't find this out until a few months ago.

How would you describe your sex life at the moment?

Very passionate, like just one big sex bomb!

SHE LAUGHS

# Sex bomb, sex bomb... #

So it's upstairs to see where the action happens

and it doesn't take long for Rhianydd to whip out her sex toys.

-Yeah.

-Wow! That's a whip.

-Yeah.

-Wow, vibrators, essential.

Bullet number one, bullet number two. This one is brilliant.

It's got a lot of settings like...

-RHYTHMIC BUZZING

-Ooh!

That one goes there and then you literally just jam it in the door.

-Jam it in the door like that.

-Like that, pretty much.

'When she's not hanging from a doorway in handcuffs,

'Rhianydd is pretty much a typical housewife - running baths,

'cooking dinner and doing the washing for her man.'

'It's a funny thing, those two things sitting side by side.

'Rhianydd is this perfect housewife and in the bedroom,'

she's a real sex bomb, a real feisty, up-for-anything girl.

It's kind of every guy's fantasy.

Hello.

'And now he's back from work, it's time for me to find out

'if James is in fact living every man's dream.'

That first time you had a threesome, how was that?

At first I was like, "Can I? Can I do this?"

-He was very...

-"Can I do that? Are you OK with this?"

And how did it feel having sex with another woman

in front of someone that you love?

Because you've kind of gone from 0-60 really quickly.

You've gone from losing your virginity to having threesomes and bondage.

It wasn't like, "Oh, my God, what's going on?"

It was just like, "Yes, let's go."

-What's so good about a threesome?

-It's two girls.

'I can do the maths, but it is unusual to be dabbling

'so soon into a new relationship.'

What are the rules to your experimental sexual life?

I can't go off and sleep with other women.

-She can't go off and sleep with other men.

-Men or women.

-Would you ever let a guy come in?

-You'd want to, wouldn't you?

-Maybe one day.

-It's different because I don't find blokes attractive.

-What about kissing?

-No.

Yes? I don't...

I don't mind if he kisses a girl.

I suppose it would depend on what girl it was.

Is this really just a way that you guys can actually just

sleep around and not have the other one get cross?

-I suppose.

-Yeah.

But at the same time, it's genuinely fun.

What's your next sexual adventure?

It's my birthday and I've always wanted to go to London and I know,

because I read in a magazine, that there are a load of fetish clubs.

Would you have sex with other people in the club?

-Don't know.

-I don't know, I don't know.

-I don't know.

Does the thought of it turn you on? Is it hot?

I think all the PVC and boobs would turn me on.

Yeah, I think my eyes would be quite peeled.

The thing about threesomes is they're sexy

and they're kind of really hot and they do turn me on a bit,

you know, the concept of them, and they're so naughty.

But I don't think really I could do it.

I don't think I'm sexually secure enough to watch someone I love

have some sex with someone else. I would always be wondering...

"Is there something more than just the physical?

"Is my partner enjoying sex with them more than me?"

Rhianydd and James's lifestyle is not for the fainthearted,

especially at their age, but in a strange way,

maybe their sexploits bring them closer together.

Now it's back to Matt Superhands,

the Prince Charming looking for his Cinders.

-Welcome.

-How are you doing?

'A week ago, I started an internet campaign to find Matt a girlfriend.

'Now he's come to visit and help me put together a shortlist.'

So, I've got you a shortlist.

-Do you want to see them?

-Definitely.

-They're great.

'Nearly 100 potential Cinderellas want to see if the slipper fits.'

Hiya, I'm Kirsty.

I'm 20, live in Edinburgh, from Aberdeen originally though.

She looks sweet.

Jasmine.

-That's in the definitely pile.

-Sophie.

-Sophie is a bit of a winner, isn't she?

-Yeah, she's nice.

We're getting quite a good list.

'Matt wants a girl with a sense of humour,

'so we've asked everyone to do their party trick on camera.'

I'm quite bendy. I can do this with my hands.

And my elbows.

Let's maybe put like a question mark against her. OK.

I can do the splits

but I'm really aching today after doing class yesterday.

-Interesting.

-Yeah.

Hey there, Matt. I'm Sally.

My party trick is I can do really repulsive faces.

So...

-I think she's hot.

-She does look fun.

-Cool.

-So that's everyone. OK, so we've got seven.

-That's a healthy list.

I think I've dreamed about this list before, to be honest.

I mean, it's not an unpleasant thing for you to be doing.

No, it's one of my better days, if I'm honest.

'He's going to invite his whole shortlist to a house party,

'a sort of Cinderella speed dating thingy.

'Doesn't sound like the quickest way to a girl is heart to me,

'but it does sound like fun.'

'Three days later, it's time for the party

'and we've had a bit of a disaster.'

So, I just got to the pub where I'm meeting the girls

and on the train journey here, about five of the girls

that are supposed to be coming bailed, last minute.

I'm absolutely gutted.

That's great, thank you.

'Fortunately, it's quality, not quantity we're after.

'Two of Matt's favourites are here, Sally from Wiltshire,

'who likes pulling funny faces, and Nicky from Birmingham.'

Cheers, ladies.

To a slightly awkward evening, but we'll just plough on through.

Superhands!

Well, come in.

This is Nicky and this is Sally.

-Hi!

-Hi!

# Are you ready? #

-Superhands, are you a bit drunk?

-Erm, yeah, a little bit.

-I got carried away.

-Have you been doing a bit of pre-party drinking?

-Yeah.

-Why?

-I got excited.

-You got a bit excited.

-Yeah.

-I'm going to let you go and woo the ladies, all right?

-Oh.

-In your own time, no rush.

-So daunting.

-Nice and organic, yeah?

Nice and awkward. To awkwardness!

I can't down this.

Don't down it! Don't down it!

'Fuelled by just enough Dutch courage,

'Prince Charming starts wooing Sally.'

-What do you do?

-I'm a teaching assistant. God, I want to travel so much.

-I want to move to Australia, that's my plan.

-Really?

-Yeah, that's my goal.

-I would actually like to go to New Zealand.

-You've definitely got something in common.

-In common.

-Yeah.

-Definitely.

-Immediate impressions - fancy her?

-Yeah.

-Come on, Superhands.

'But Superhands is nothing if not fair, so it's Nicky's go next.'

-Fancy her?

-Not immediately... She's all right, like.

-Are you kind of leaning more towards Sally?

-Yeah, she's awesome.

My big worry is that Superhands is really drunk

and he's going to blow his chance with Sally

because she's a bright girl and she's great to talk to.

But I think if she only sees Superhands

as "Jack The Lad" tonight...

there ain't going to be no date.

'Fortunately for him, Matt eventually sobers up enough

'to use those super hands of his to impress his potential date.'

I loved his card tricks. They were actually very impressive.

He's lovely. We've been chatting a lot. Getting on really well, yeah.

It's nice. I think he's good looking

and I think he's also really interesting.

Yeah, I'm going to ask Sally out on a date, I think, yeah. Yeah...

if she accepts, that's a different story.

Yeah, I'd be interested in seeing him again.

'And while I hit the dance floor - oh, I just can't help myself -

'it looks like a fairytale ending might just be on the cards.'

'It's been a little while since I've been in a room

'full of single people

just going for it, and it is really, really fun.

I am flirting quite badly, and that is a little bit embarrassing.

I am a married woman with a child but, you know...

It is really, really fun. I'm having a wicked time.

And I think that Sally and Superhands

seem to be getting on quite well.

'It's been a week since the party and I'm dying to know

'if my match-making skills have worked.'

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

-You all right?

-How are you?

So...what happened after I left?

-SHE WHISTLES

-Hm?

We went out, we had a dance, a cheeky kiss, I suppose.

-A little bit.

-Tiny bit?

-Tiny bit.

-Snog?

-Mm, a bit.

-Did anything else happen? Did you have sexual intercourse?

-No.

-No.

-No, definitely not.

-Why does your face say that you did?

-No.

You. Your face says "I had sex." Why?

-Actually didn't.

-Erm, I didn't, no.

-Whose bed did you sleep in?

-I'm being interrogated now.

-Erm, mine. My bed.

-OK, so you slept in the same bed.

-Yeah.

-But no sex?

-No.

And then what happened for the rest of the day?

-Did you spend the day together?

-Up till about three or four o'clock.

-Did you take her out on a date?

-Yeah, yeah, took her out.

-I treated her.

-Where?

-I took her where I take most of the ladies.

-I took her to KFC.

-I sold you as a really nice guy!

You can't take a lady to KFC on their first date!

How do you feel about each other at the moment? Do you fancy Superhands?

Erm, yeah, a little bit.

-Superhands? Do you fancy Sally?

-Er...

-Don't be silly. Not a silly answer.

-OK.

-Be honest with me.

No, no, yeah, she's nice, she's nice.

-Do you fancy her?

-Yeah, of course.

There seems to be a kind of game going on between you two because

you clearly like Superhands and Superhands, you clearly like Sally,

but it's like neither of you want to admit it.

-What, what's going on?

-A little banter, I think.

-Yeah.

I think that's good, though.

-I just quite enjoy winding her up, to be honest.

-So, what next? Babies?

-Marriage? Shall I buy a hat?

-Oh, wow.

Superhands, you look like you want to hit me.

-Let me know if anything happens.

-Yeah.

You know, it's a bit weird that I'm so involved, but I feel like I am.

-It'd be really good.

-A bit weird.

-Just keep me up to date. Yeah?

I found Superhands and Sally really hard to read.

Either they're nuts about each other and it's just not cool to show it

or maybe Superhands just isn't as ready to settle down as he thinks he is.

One thing is definitely clear, though,

and that's Superhands needs a lesson in first-date etiquette.

'Now back to James and Rhianydd -

'a couple who believe you can be committed and sleep around.

'Sexploits like theirs are more widespread than you might imagine.

'In fact, 15% of us admit to having taken part in a threesome.'

'They've decided to leave Wales

'and turn up the head on their open relationship

'by coming to the Big Smoke.

'They'll be needing a tour guide, then.'

PA: 'This is a security announcement...'

They're here. Hello!

-Welcome to London!

-I know, finally.

It's nice and cold.

# Bright lights, big city... #

'It's Rhianydd's first ever time in London

'but she won't be doing any sight-seeing tonight.

'We're off to a fetish club. But what's a girl to wear?

'Fortunately there's just time for a spot of shopping.'

# I kissed a girl and I liked it

# The taste of her cherry chapstick... #

Wow!

-Do you love it?

-I love the smell.

-James, what about you?

-Is this not really your thing?

-No.

-Do you like it?

-Yes, miss!

Those are some tiny pants.

I really love these.

-Shall we, er, try some stuff on?

-Definitely.

I thought you'd never ask. Oh, God!

You're so keen.

-Wow!

-Oh, wow! I love it.

-Can I just do one thing?

-Yeah.

Oh!

-I like the boobs though.

-Yeah.

(She's gone commando!)

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Brilliant.

I quite like this.

I love this shop SO much.

-I think I'm happy in this.

-Yes, that one's really cool.

I really like this.

It's lovely.

High five! Yeah, we look so hot. And slightly squeaky.

'Who knew a giant washing-up glove could be so comfortable.

'Fetish club, here we come!'

Are you open-minded to stuff happening, or is it...?

I'm open-minded to stuff happening.

-There's no definite agenda?

-No.

We're going to ease into it.

'Our first stop is the casually named Torture Room.

'It's a real eye-opener.'

SLAPPING Yeah?

'I've never seen anything like this before I don't think James and Rhianydd have either.'

-SCREAMS

-Can you hear that?

'But that's pretty tame compared to some of the things that are going on here tonight.'

There is a girl being tied up and suspended,

her legs in positions I didn't know was possible.

And a... Yeah, a guy in a hat's about to do some things...to her.

MECHANICAL WHIRRING

'It seems like everyone in the club is having a brilliant time.'

'Everyone except for James and Rhianydd, that is.

'In fact, it looks like they can't wait to get out of here.'

It's one thing being in a little bedroom in South Wales with handcuffs.

It's quite another thing actually being here.

This is just in a different league altogether.

-Sleep well.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye. Have a nice time.

I do wonder whether the fantasy is maybe better than the reality.

'It's been nearly two months since the fetish club fiasco

'but I've managed to persuade Rhianydd and James to come back to London.

'I want to know whether their experiences that night

'have had any effect on their relationship.'

So that was an interesting night that we went on.

-BOTH: Very interesting.

-Very interesting.

-Wasn't it?

-Yes.

You know, no-one was shy to do anything.

-They were just doing it right in front of you.

-Yeah.

-All eyes to see, they didn't care.

-Yeah.

We thought we were like that, but once you're put in a room

full of people that are doing all that we're like...

-Tied up and stuff.

-Wow.

Were you surprised at your reaction that night?

-Yeah. I was quite disappointed at my reaction.

-Interesting. Why?

I think if we had a few more drinks, we'd be like,

"Yeah, let's go."

How have you been as a couple since that night?

-A lot closer.

-More comfortable with one another, you know.

-Yeah.

We've been, just like me and him, focusing on our relationship.

-You mean like a "conventional" couple?

-Yeah, I know.

-Shut up!

That's interesting.

So that night has made you more monogamous, more together.

-I think it took all the adventure out of us.

-Yeah.

It feels like today there's something different about you two.

It's like you're both now almost on the same page.

-Yeah.

-It's an awful expression but...

Yeah, we are, cos now we know where we stand.

Because, before, you would say something and you would look at her

as though to say, "That's the first time I've heard that."

We've literally just always never really had a game plan,

-never had any set rules or anything.

-It just happened.

It's always just been, "I want to do this, shall we do that?"

"Yeah, OK then. Sure." And then vice versa.

We've talked about like all the threesomes and things like that.

We've said, "Oh, we don't know whether we'll do that again."

-Why not?

-Just cos we feel a lot closer now.

Like a lot more serious with the relationship.

-Just bonking each other?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-And we're happy with that.

Sometimes it's really nice to think that we're becoming

-a really like a serious couple and that we're looking forward to the future.

-Yeah.

Is the door still a little bit open to that adventure?

Oh, yeah, it's wide open. It's wide open.

It's just that we're sort of at that stage where we're like,

"Oh, yeah, let's do this!" "Oh, no, but we've got to save up for a car."

I'm really happy to see you so happy.

You seem, yeah, really lovely and in love.

And it's all thanks to the fetish club.

'So single or settled?

'Of course it all depends on where you're at in your life.

'Perhaps a modern relationship can look like anything you want it to.

'I do miss the thrill of the chase but I've realised that

'just because I'm settled, it doesn't mean I'm boring.

'I'm pleased to report that my husband,

'the telly and I are all very happy.'

'Next time, I'll be finding out

'why we've become a nation of pill poppers.'

-I need quick results.

-It made you want it more than once.

How many times?

'Whether we're self-medicating or chasing a legal high...'

Yes, Cherry! Yes.

'..are we all addicted to something?'

HE GIGGLES

Do you think that pills are just quite an easy option?

They're easier than talking about it.

-I took one as well.

-This is HER experiment!

-Maybe this one is the miracle cure!

-This the one.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd