Are We All Addicts? Cherry Healey: How to Get a Life

This programme contains some strong language.

I'm Cherry Healy, and in the last few years,

my life has been turned on its head.

I've gone from this,

to this...

..and then to this.

I don't know about you,

but I sometimes feel like the world is running away from me,

and it's high time I caught up.

So I'm determined to get some answers

to life's fundamental questions.

Does my bum look big in this?

Am I too old to take drugs?

Do I need a Brazilian?

Today I want to find out why we've become a nation of pill poppers.

In a world where we can buy legal drugs at the click of a mouse,

whether we're self-medicating or chasing a legal high,

are we all addicted to something?

I'll be spending time with a cast of characters,

from thrill-seekers to self-confessed addicts,

to find out just why we like our fixes quick.

There are the two guys who get their kicks

-from the corner shop.

-HE GIGGLES

A girl who'd rather pop a pill than go to the gym.

I need quick results.

A couple with kids who want to rescue their love life.

And a young guy who'll do anything to cure his impotence.

-What is that?

-Eurgh!

I'll be getting a taste of life in their world.

Yes, Cherry! Yes!

My face feels like it's getting...really expanding loads.

'Then I'll be inviting them into mine,

'and bringing them back to my hub,

'my base for the next few months,

'in a bid to get them to confess all.'

Do you think that pills are just quite a easy option?

They're a lot easier than talking to anyone.

-I took them as well.

-This is her experiment!

Do you think that they maybe just don't work?

Probably! But there's something in the back of my mind

that goes, "Maybe it does!"

'Will they end up teaching me something about my life?'

-Maybe this one is the miracle cure!

-Maybe this is the one!

'Or can I help them change theirs?'

There's something else.

What? I feel like you're going to drop a massive bomb!

# Mama, do the hop, Mama, do the hop, hop

# Mama, won't you please do the hop, hop

# Mama, do the hop, Mama, do the hop, hop. #

There was a time when I was desperate for drugs.

When I was giving birth to my daughter, Coco.

I was in a lot of pain,

and they offered me some gas and air,

which I gladly took.

And it did help a little bit,

but it did come with some weird side effects.

It made my voice really low, and I thought,

"Come on! As though things aren't bad enough!

"Now I have to sound like Barry White!"

I got really self-conscious of (DEEP VOICE) my voice. Like that.

It also made me really disorientated.

I felt my head was expanding and I got a bit scared,

which wasn't very nice at all.

It does make really curious to hear that, for some people,

laughing gas is their drug of choice at parties.

And new legal highs are coming onto the market

at the rate of one a week,

more than ever before,

while illegal drug use has gone down

by a third over the last 15 years.

I want to meet some of the people behind the headlines

and I may even try their drugs.

But, first, I need to know what I'm letting myself in for.

So I've come to meet Harley Street GP, Dr Hazen.

I'd really like to know what the risks are

with taking each of the drugs.

I want to experience what they're going through,

but I don't want to damage my health.

So you mentioned slimming pills, and you mentioned legal highs.

'Dr Hazen runs me through the most commonly used legal highs,

'from Salvia and GHB, to laughing gas.

'I also get a checkup,

'to make sure I don't have a pre-existing medical condition

'that would put me at risk.'

OK. It's pretty good. There's nothing that's concerning there at all.

-Thanks.

-Take care of yourself.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye.

'Armed with the results,

'I'm ready to begin my journey into the world of legal highs.

'First stop, Dartford in Kent,

'where I've come to meet 30-year-old Paul...

'and his six-pack.'

-How are you doing?

-Nice to meet you.

'He's a painter and decorator,

'and his drug of choice is one I'm all too familiar with.'

-Are you in here quite a lot?

-Yeah.

How often?

I'd say probably four or five times a week.

Four or five times a week?

Maybe six, if I've got nothing to do.

# Girl, look at that body

# Girl, look at that body... #

'Paul has strong views on illegal drugs,

'and, in case you hadn't noticed, one very hot bod.'

Do you have a six-pack?

Look, it ain't a six-pack, but it's a bit trim.

# ..I'm sexy and I know it... #

-That's it.

-That's really heavy!

Yeah, that's why they put weights on it!

That's it, you can do it! That's it!

Keep your eye on the ball there, babe.

Show me again!

# ..I'm sexy and I know it. #

So I'm getting the feeling you're a pretty healthy person.

How do you feel about your body?

My body's a temple and I do not want squatters in it.

-SHE LAUGHS

-In what way?

Well, for me, squatters would be coke, MDMA,

just stuff that ain't good for you, you know?

-Do you know a lot of people that take that?

-Yeah, loads.

For me, it was just embedded in me.

I just never wanted to do it.

His body may be a temple,

but Paul does allow the occasional squatter in.

His mates, Ben and Jamie, often come along for the ride.

-So this is your relaxation room?

-Yes, this is the studio.

This is where we just, like, chill out, mess with some beats,

relax, look at the shit weather outside.

As a special thing, a little treat,

we might have a little bit of a laugh.

We might have a cheeky balloon.

A cheeky balloon or two.

'The boys use balloons to inhale the pure form of nitrous oxide,

'otherwise known as laughing gas.

'The gas I had in hospital was only 50% pure,

'and it wasn't much of a laugh.

'But this stuff doesn't take long to live up to its name.'

HE LAUGHS LOUDLY

Jay, go!

HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Jay, don't eat it, bruv!

-It's gone!

-Now I am fucked!

-THEY LAUGH

There's stars! Fucking hell, mate!

Jay, you smashed it, bruv!

I'm not having no echoing things,

but all I can see is your face like a bunny rabbit!

You're like a fucking little bunny rabbit!

'Yeah, totally! Whatever works for you, love!

'A laughing gas high lasts between 30 seconds and 4 minutes.

'But it takes around an hour to leave the body completely.'

You suddenly went up really quickly.

-Yeah, but then, now, I'm back to normal.

-Any effects?

-No, no come down.

-I don't feel dizzy.

How does it make you feel?

It was a bit crazy, you know what I mean?

And my head was floating and, like, I kept hearing echoes.

-But it was in and out quick.

-Yeah, yeah, it's quick.

-Didn't last long or anything.

-Did you enjoy it?

-I must admit, it was the bollocks.

-It was funny, wasn't it?

I ain't going to lie.

I know it's not great for you, and I wouldn't promote it.

"Everyone get on gas!" You know what I mean?

But it was enjoyable.

-I think you should do one, or even just a little bit.

-Yeah.

-Just a little bit. In and out.

-Can I try a tiny bit?

'The last time I tried this, it barely touched the sides.

'But I'm still nervous.'

Cherry's doing a balloon!

Not all at once, babe! No, no, breathe it out!

-Keep it in your mouth.

-Blow it in and out.

Now she knows what time it is!

In and out, breathe. That's it!

-Oh, she's a natural, bruv!

-See!

Yes, Cherry! Yes!

-SHE LAUGHS

-I didn't do very much,

but I feel really light-headed.

You'll feel light-headed, innit?

I've got, like, ringing in my ears.

And my face feels like it's getting...really expanding loads.

-It's a buzz, though, innit?

-It's still there little bit...

You don't feel down, though.

It's not as bad as being really, really drunk.

-Where you feel sick and the room is spinning.

-No.

And you definitely come back to consciousness quite quickly.

-You come back the same place.

-Yeah.

I wouldn't want to do any more than that.

I can see that for some people, they would trip.

I wouldn't want to trip.

Have you looked into it?

Do you take it without really knowing what it is?

-I do know. They starve your brain from oxygen.

-What about you?

-You don't do it?

-No.

-Why not?

I used to smoke cannabis when I was younger,

and I started getting anxiety attacks.

If I was to do something like that, and I had anxiety,

-I don't know how it would unfold.

-So it could trigger something?

Yeah, it could trigger something, yeah.

'I guess I'm just never going to see the appeal of a drug

'that reminds me of being in labour.

'So how am I going to feel when I'm invited to try

'the most potent hallucinogenic herb known to man?'

-HE GIGGLES

-'It's one that makes me question

'just how far I'm prepared to go in the name of research.'

Oh, shit! It's burning your trousers!

It just feels a bit illegal and a bit dangerous.

So I'm really intrigued to see what it's actually like.

'But not everyone has a burning desire to get high.

'Some of us are lacking in the desire department altogether.

'I'm in Huddersfield to meet a couple

'who say their sex life is a shadow of its former self.

'They're prepared to try anything to revive it.

DOORBELL CHIMES

Hello! Oh, hello! Are you Lucy?

-I am!

-Cherry. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. Say hello!

-Hello!

'Lucy is 29, and a full-time mum to Pearl and Micky.

'She's married to Brendan, who runs his own building company.'

So, dish the dirt.

How often did you used to have sex, before you had kids?

A day, or a week? SHE LAUGHS

-Two, three times a day.

-No!

That's a lot!

I just couldn't keep me hands off her.

I mean, I still can't now,

but when you get the time, you know?

It's just as you get older and more kids come along,

it's that juggling, isn't it?

How often do you have sex now?

Er, two, three times a week.

What?! That's loads!

Is it really?!

That's loads! God!

-You are joking?!

-No, I'm not joking!

Who is the most frustrated out of both of you?

I don't know. Probably both of us. THEY LAUGH

What do you want to improve?

It's me, really.

It's not that I've lost my sex drive.

It's just that I'm so tired all the time.

Have you tried anything to perk up your sex life?

-Well, we've tried Viagra, haven't we?

-Yeah.

-Does it work?

-Oh, yeah.

-It does?

Yeah, but the thing is,

you haven't got a problem with your sex drive, have you?

So if there was something...

Like a ladies' alternative. Herbal, or, you know...

Yeah, something herbal.

Something that gave me the desire,

over the desire to go to bed. SHE LAUGHS

Because it's not that I don't want it,

it's just I want to go to bed more than I want it!

'I definitely know that feeling!

'So Lucy and I are off on a mission

'to find an over-the-counter pill

'that just might liven up her libido.'

Is this it, then?

OK, let's have a look.

Um, ginseng, damiana, guarana,

calcium carbonate, microcrystalline cellulose.

Lots of caffeine.

I recognise the ginseng. That's all I recognise.

It looks more like a herbal tea.

Shall we go and ask them?

-Have you ever had them before?

-No.

Right. These are specially for women.

We also do the original, the double strength, and the triple strength.

They'll increase your libido,

and just stimulate any pleasure that you're already having, really.

Have you tried these?

I've tried the triple strength ones, and...brilliant!

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Did they work for you?

-Yeah.

# Cos I may be bad But I'm perfectly good at it. #

'But Lucy won't be relying on the drugs alone

'when it comes to getting herself in the mood for lurve.'

Chilly! That's hysterical!

-It's like a bow!

-That's just a bow!

Oh, wow!

No, it's making me feel little bit strange.

Last week I had to be the tooth fairy for the first time,

so this just feels really wrong!

-Oh, I see. For the kids?

-Yeah.

-Right, so not your first choice?

-No, probably not.

-Are you excited about tonight?

-Yeah, I am now, actually.

But I think it's because I haven't had the kids.

When we get back, and I'm making tea and bedtime,

it might go down a bit again.

When you're covered in spaghetti bolognese

and you've just emptied the nappy bin,

it is quite hard to feel like a sexual animal.

SHE LAUGHS Definitely!

It looks amazing! You look gorgeous!

-Thank you!

-How do you feel?

-I love it. It's gorgeous.

-Do you?

Yeah. If it was a bit longer, I'd go out in it!

Oh!

'Lucy's bought some Pink Venus pills

'and some triple strength original blue ones.

'She's planning to experiment with both.

'Back home, Brendan and Lucy divvy up the chores

'before their night of pill-fuelled passion can begin.'

How do you know if Lucy is up for sex?

Pyjamas and one of my t-shirts is normally, "No, thanks."

"Thanks, but no, thanks!"

'With the lights out, it's goodnight, Mummy.

'And hello, sexy mama!'

Do you want to see the outfit? Right, let's see.

-HE LAUGHS

-What time you going?

I promise I'll be gone really soon!

'I can take a hint! Now, where are those pills?'

If they really work, then why don't more people take them?

They are quite expensive.

I wonder if that's a slight turn-off.

-£25 for that many pills.

-Yeah.

-If it works, that's good value.

-Yeah.

-If they don't, that's a big rip-off, isn't it?

-It is a bit.

OK.

Well, look, I'll leave you two alone,

because I don't think I'm needed any more here!

I really hope it works.

They're such a lovely couple. Yeah.

I'm really, really curious to see what happens.

'Three days later, I invite Brendan and Lucy over

'to give me the low-down on how well the pills performed.'

-Thank you.

-Go on, then.

Spill the beans! How was it?

We did have sex, but it wasn't, like...

-..it was good!

-Oh, thanks!

I didn't mean it like that! SHE LAUGHS

But it was just normal sex.

It wasn't like the tablet had done anything.

In terms of feeling more turned on?

Not really.

So on the second night, what did you take?

I took the strong one.

-The triple strength?

-Yeah.

-I took one as well.

-Oh, my God!

You love them!

This is HER experiment!

So, million dollar question.

Did it work?

It did what it says on the tin.

-Really?!

-Yeah.

Tell me how it made you feel.

Well, it didn't do the whole tingly thing.

But it made me really, really want it.

It made you want it more than once.

How many times?!

We didn't have sex more than once!

-SHE LAUGHS

-No, but, um...

You did other things?

Yeah, it was just nice to see a different change in her.

That she didn't just want sex.

He's right into foreplay and I'm not.

-She's more selfish than me.

-Just say it!

-You may as well say it!

-Got it!

I mean, when you're tired, that is not a priority, is it?

-AT ALL!

-No, not really.

You know, that's like taking the stairs when there's an escalator.

No! How did you feel the morning after? Were there any side effects?

I was really tired,

because I think it was about one o'clock

by the time we went to sleep.

And Pearl woke up at four o'clock.

So, yeah.

I think if we were going to use it again,

it would be definitely if Pearl wasn't at home.

So it's not the perfect solution?

No, but I think we have found a solution,

because I think I'd use the other one if the kids were at home.

You know, just to perk me up a little bit.

And I'd use the other one if we were on a night out

and the kids were at my mum's or whatever.

'So Lucy and Brendan have found a pill that works for them.

'But they're not alone in turning to tablets.

'In the UK, over 2 million people now rely on prescription drugs

'to have a sex life.

'I'm on my way to Barry in Wales, to meet one of them.

'He's only 25,

'but has never managed to have sex without an erection drug.

'Stevie is trying to carve out a career as a model.'

Hiya!

'He started dating boys as a teenager,

'but soon discovered he couldn't get a lasting erection.'

How long have you been taking Viagra?

I think I started when I was 18.

Yeah, I was about 18, it must have been, yeah.

And what prompted you to start taking it?

Well, basically, I noticed there was a problem,

so I thought, obviously, time to do something about it.

When you say, "the problem," what exactly do you mean?

I was about 15 when I first went with a guy,

and it was sort of foreplay, you know?

There wasn't any intercourse,

so there wasn't any need for me to be erect.

And at the time, the fact that I wasn't erect

didn't seem like a problem to me.

And that was up until I was about 18.

And I thought, "OK, now I'm older.

"We're dealing with the big boys now, you know? It's sex.

"It's give or take. I don't like to take. I'm going to have to give."

So that's when it obviously became a problem.

Because I couldn't give, because I didn't have a hard-on.

Have you ever had sex without Viagra?

-I think I have, but it didn't last very long.

-How long?

Probably about ten seconds.

How did you feel?

Erm, I thought, "Oh, my God. How rare is this?!

"I'm not a 50 year-old man. I'm 18. I shouldn't have this problem."

I felt ashamed. I thought my boyfriend was going to leave me.

I can't please him sexually. He's going to look elsewhere.

It fucked me up.

'The NHS won't treat impotence

'unless you have a pre-existing medical condition.

'So his GP writes him out a private prescription for £9 a pill.

'Or Stevie buys cheaper, but unregulated, pills online.

What are the downsides of Viagra?

The downsides are if you have no money,

or if you're having a bad week, money-wise,

then you can't afford to buy the Viagra.

So, in a sense, you can't afford to have sex. That's a downside.

Another downside is obviously new relationships.

How do you tell somebody that, without them thinking,

"What's wrong with you?"

Because I'm only 25, you know?

And people associate it with older guys.

Really old guys that can't get it up.

I can get headaches.

Headaches are really common from taking the pills.

Very common, actually.

I more than likely...90% of the time I have a headache after taking them.

-How bad?

-Almost like migraines. You need to lie down.

You need to have a little sleep.

# My boy lollipop

# You made my heart go giddy-up... #

And now the pressure is really on for Stevie,

because he has fallen in love

with Cardiff's gorgeous cupcake seller, Tommy.

# ..Oh-oh, my boy lollipop. #

Do you ever get insecure about the problem?

No.

The only thing I get insecure about

is I think he's too good for me.

-Why would you think that?

-I just think it all the time.

-Why?

-I don't know, cos you're so nice.

-Yeah, but you're nice, too.

So, that's the only thing I get insecure about.

Why would you be insecure?

-I don't know.

-That's silly. Oh, I love him.

They're so nice!

Oh! And we're in a cupcake shop, it's too cliched, it's awful.

What would you change if you could?

It'd be the Viagra situation, because that makes him

panic and get stressed a bit.

And that's it, really.

-You'd like to see me less stressed, would you?

-Yeah.

How can you tell that Stevie worries about it?

He's like, "Don't look at me,

"don't look down there," and like that.

-We don't want it to be like that forever.

-No.

-That is taking a blow.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

Stevie tells me he has been looking for alternatives to Viagra

and has even visited a psychiatrist, but with no success.

I want to know what his options are now.

What things have you tried to find a solution?

I've looked online lots and lots and lots,

and I think the only thing I came up with other than Viagra

was to have a pump,

um, implanted.

Can we have a look at it?

What did you type in to Google?

I can't remem... Like, um...

It was erectile dysfunction solutions.

Surgery.

-There's a video.

-That's it!

-Have you watched it?

-No.

SHE GASPS

Oh!

Ah!

Don't care to... Oh, oh.

I mean, I don't have a penis, but that is...

-That's inside the willie, isn't it?

-That does not... What is that?

You haven't even got one.

HE LAUGHS

What the hell is that?

Ah! Don't do that!

You have to like pump your balls.

Oh, my God.

That can't be real.

I'm really sorry. I was honestly not expecting it to be like that.

That's for, like, desperate, desperate measures, isn't it?

-I think.

-I mean, it's quite ergonomic, you now?

Once it's done, it's done.

It's extreme.

Maybe like the last option.

-Is that the last, last option?

-Definitely.

OK. Let's... Let's look at something else.

So, this is a hypnosis programme

that deals with the emotional side of sexual problems.

That sounds...really good.

This talks about the pressure of performing,

referred to as emotional impotence.

So, it's more the emotional side rather than the mechanical side.

"This encourages people to speak openly and frankly."

That's your speciality.

So that then they do individually specific treatment

to yield permanent results. So, no more pills.

Just imagine if it were permanent.

If I never had to take a pill ever again.

-That would change my life completely.

-In what way?

In...I could have a happy...a happy sex life, a happy relationship.

It's not just about me any more.

You know? It's about the two of us.

And it is something I've never been able

to experience with confidence...

and without the after effects.

Do you want to contact them?

Yeah, definitely.

-Send?

-Do it.

There it goes.

Sent.

Wow.

I am so sad that Stevie has had to live with the stigma

of drug dependency for so long

and I really hope the hypnotherapy works,

but we're just going to have to wait and see.

Having spent time with someone who's ashamed of his reliance on drugs,

I'm about to meet a guy who has no such qualms about his habit.

I have tracked down 22-year-old aspiring musician Danny,

who regularly posts his recreational drug antics online.

This particular video has clocked up over 86,000 hits.

He regularly smokes salvia, a plant used in Mexico by shamans.

It's the most powerful natural hallucinogen

known to man.

He's completely out of it.

I assumed, because it's legal, it wouldn't have that much effect,

but it does look really strong, which I wasn't expecting at all.

Now I want to find out what it's like for myself.

We're meeting in his hometown of Leeds,

where he first tried salvia five years ago.

-Hi, I'm Cherry.

-Danny.

-Nice to meet you.

Why didn't you take it that first time?

Well, my friend, he obviously brought it into college and he showed me

and I was like, "Whoa!" So, I just tried it, basically.

Just rolling around on the floor laughing, so it was really good.

-It's good fun.

-How easy is it to get?

It's extremely easy, to be fair.

-There is a shop in town.

-There's a shop here?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Will you show me?

-Yeah, absolutely.

Over the past ten years, politicians like Ann Widdecombe

have repeatedly tried to get salvia banned,

but so far without success.

-This is the shop where we get the salvia from.

-OK.

The film crew isn't allowed in

and I am suddenly really nervous

about the prospect of trying it myself.

I'm going to go with my instincts today. I'll get it.

You'd probably be best trying a 5X.

Yeah, nice and gentle.

That's very gentle, that one, so you'll be absolutely safe with that.

Let's get some of that and let's get a little pipe.

The shop's reluctance to allow the camera and makes me feel

like we're doing something dodgy.

-So, that's all the stuff.

-OK.

Back at Danny's pad, we prepare our paraphernalia.

To stay safe while tripping, he never smokes alone.

That's probably about four or five hits.

It looks a bit like tea.

It smells exactly like tea.

It's funny because even though I know it's legal,

everything about this feels kind of illegal.

-Do you ever get nervous before doing it?

-Yeah, all the time.

There's always a bit of nerves,

cos you never know what'll happen.

You don't know if you'll have a good or bad trip.

So, slightly. Shall I go for it?

-If you want.

-OK.

HE SIGHS

'Danny's a regular user and he still gets the fear,

'you can imagine how I'm feeling.'

HE COUGHS

-Yeah, it's hitting me. It's...

-How are you feeling?

HE LAUGHS Um...

It's... It's just, er...

Oh, the... OK, no, it's fine.

It's OK. I felt... That's fine.

What did you feel?

Er... Yeah.

You...feel...you feel part of the table.

HE LAUGHS

Eh...

HE LAUGHS

HE GROANS

You feel... You close your eyes and it looks weird.

You can see as if you're...

in, like, there in your vision.

It's harder for me to do that. Oh, shit!

Oh, it's in your leg... It's on your trousers!

-It's burning your trousers!

-It's OK.

-That's not good.

-Your trousers are on fire.

-It's not got me.

-Your trousers are on fire.

-There, it's out. Your trousers are out, it's fine.

-It's OK.

-It's OK.

-Now, your trousers were on fire.

-I was wondering about that.

That's fine. That's good. Your trousers were on fire, that's fine.

'No, it's not fine at all. He has only been tripping for five minutes,

'but that is enough time for things to go wrong.'

-You are sweating a bit.

-Extremely hot, yeah.

You're sweating a bit.

-OK, I'm coming back to normal.

-Are you coming back?

It's really quick, isn't it? It's...

-It's minutes.

-OK.

You definitely lost your senses, you know, your trousers caught on fire.

Because the stuff that was in the pipe,

obviously, jumped out and got on your trousers,

so it's definitely not something to do alone.

-No, definitely not.

-Definitely not.

Would you, er, have a pipe of salvia?

I'm not going to try it today,

but thank you so much for letting me see what it's like.

No problem. OK.

'I know, I've bottled it,

'but seeing Danny set himself alight has kind of put my fire out.'

Personally, anything that messes with your head,

makes you hallucinate,

I just find that a bit too scary, it's not my bag.

Hello.

'Three weeks later and I've asked Danny

'and laughing gas lover Paul to come back to my hub and talk me

'through why they take their legal highs.'

Do you think because something is legal that makes it OK?

I think people feel safe if something is legal, you know,

but drinking is perfectly legal.

-Smoking.

-Smoking is legal.

Just because it's legal, it doesn't mean it won't hurt you

or have a bad effect on you.

Would you ever try laughing gas?

-Yeah, I would probably try it, yeah.

-Really?

-What's it like?

Well, I'll be honest, the thing I like about it, right, you just...

Boom, like. And it's quick, it's not a slow thing. You know,

like with weed, it creeps up on you.

With laughing gas, it's instant.

You just take... You do it, bang.

As soon as you finish doing it,

like, a couple minutes after, it's gone.

It's really interesting, both the things you take,

the effect is really immediate and it's over in five minutes.

-Yeah.

-Is that so? Salvia's like that?

I don't know nothing about it. I thought salvia was like weed.

It's a completely different kind of thing.

-Right.

-But, yeah, it's about a five, seven minute trip.

-Ah.

Why do you take salvia?

You go through different stages in salvia.

Some out of body experiences, some you just actually see things

and there are still, obviously, some stages I haven't been to yet,

so I'm going to try and explore those quite sensibly.

I suppose I take a legal high

in that I'm a massive caffeine addict.

I drink tea and Diet Coke all day long and then I'll have alcohol.

So, I do think it's interesting because alcohol, in my mind,

is really dangerous and it can turn people into animals, really.

-But it's the same...

-But it's socially acceptable to do that.

-Yeah.

-Of course it is.

'I may not want to take any drugs that alter my mind,

'but when it comes to altering my body,

I'm a total sucker for them.'

Ah!

Yeah, they're not going on.

I've actually had such a battle with these jeans before

that I've broken the zip.

I've always struggled with my weight a bit.

At university, that was probably my lowest point.

I was really desperate. I'd put on a lot of weight from a break-up.

And I just thought, "I need a quick fix, I need a magic cure."

So, I started taking laxatives.

At one point, I think I was taking ten a day.

And it had a horrendous, horrendous effect on my body.

They made my skin go grey and spotty,

they gave me horrendous stomach pains,

but I just never thought they were that bad because they were legal

and easy to buy.

The time I knew I had to stop was when my flat mates walked in on me

and I was on the floor, screaming into a pillow,

and I told them I had period pains.

I just felt so ashamed at taking laxatives.

There comes a point when enough is enough.

In Britain, slimming products are big business,

and sales are up by 20% in the past year.

Diet pill prescriptions have soared by a massive 65%.

On my home turf in West London, I've come to meet Suzie,

who, like me, has body issues.

-Are you Suzie?

-Yes.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

'She is a 24-year-old former professional dancer.

'First up, she wants to show me

'where she gets her thinspiration from.'

Wow. Talk me through this.

OK. So, I've got all my photos here of when I would say

that I was happiest.

That's when I was younger, this is me on stage,

this is me a year ago in a beauty pageant, in a bikini,

and that's the way I want to look again.

And then these are the celebrity bodies in bikinis.

Jessica Alba is very tomboy-shaped, but athletic.

Kim Kardashian is really curvy.

What that says to me is, it doesn't matter what you achieve,

you're never going to be happy,

because you cannot possibly look like all of those people.

-So, you wake up in the morning.

-Yeah.

You're in bed, sleepy, sleepy. "Oh, I'm so cosy, I'm happy." Sleepy.

And you jump out of bed and it's a new day and you stand here

and you look at them

and then you look at yourself and you immediately feel...?

Shocking. I feel awful.

Two years ago, Suzie gave up dancing for a more stable job

as a beauty therapist.

But she's desperate to get her dancer's body back.

Now she puts her faith in celebrity diets

and a cupboard full of pills and potions.

Fat metaboliser, vitamin B6, cayenne pepper.

Cayenne pepper is in the...

I tried a lemon detox diet, which Beyonce did.

It's literally just drinking water, lemon juice and cayenne pepper.

I have done a liquid diet before and I lasted one whole day.

-What's that?

-They're fat emulsifiers.

-What is a fat emulsifier?

-It emulsifies fat, apparently.

'That clears that up, then.'

That's like a calorie-burning soft drink.

-Can I try it?

-Yeah.

-Do you mind?

'My rational self is sceptical and suspects it is all a bit of a con.'

Oh, you can taste the chemicals in it, can't you?

Pretty much.

'But my desperate-to-be-thin self can't get enough of it,

'just like Suzie.'

They've actually got a skin on the top. Let's smell.

-Cheers.

-That's unbelievably disgusting.

-Ready for this?

Bottoms up, pert and small.

Yes. OK.

# Have a drink, have a drink Have a drink on me. #

'This delicious looking concoction claims to suppress

'your appetite using fruit pectins, a type of fibre.'

So close, so close. Does it make you want to...

Vomit all over your kitchen?

It's such an insecure side of me that I will believe anything

and I will drink something that tastes like the dregs of a rave

in order to have the body I want.

-Oh, my gosh.

-That's hideous.

-Do you get a real kick from starting a new weight loss programme?

-I do.

I feel instantly kind of energetic because I am like, "Yes!

"I've started it again."

Do you think that buzz is what's addictive?

I think it is, cos I've seen what I can look like after doing this.

It excites me that I can get there.

Are you on anything now?

I am going to be starting something.

This is what I call the Snooki diet.

One of the girls from Jersey Shore called Snooki did this diet.

-I want to see it.

-Do you want to see it? OK.

OK, back in the cupboard.

-Maybe this is the miracle cure!

-Maybe this is the one!

This is the one!

'Snooki denies this is the diet she is on,

'but even the whiff of a celebrity endorsement is enough for Suzie.'

You take ten of these drops underneath your tongue

in the morning and at night and then these high energy, fat burner pills.

Rapid fat loss and incredible energy.

I'm not going to lie, it's kind of true.

-Rapid fat loss.

-Rapid!

-Incredible energy!

You take six of these in total a day.

I've got holiday in two weeks. I need...

..quick results.

'I think Suzie is definitely addicted to weight-loss potions.

'I really relate to that.'

You now, I've been on them all, I've tried everything, but, ultimately,

whilst they might work for a couple of days,

they are really disappointing.

'With her holiday looming,

'I joined Suzie for some last-minute shopping.'

So, what do you need for your holiday?

I might try on a couple of these.

How much do you hate bikini trying on?

Um, I'm a bit nervous about it

cos it's the first time I've put on a bikini in months.

OK, Suzie, are you ready?

I hate bikinis.

-Oh, I like it!

-It's actually quite nice on that.

I wish they made a bikini that covered these, though.

-I wish bikinis didn't exist.

-Yeah, me too.

I like up here, cos it's quite petite,

but then I think I'm quite disproportionate, is that the word?

From the top to the bottom.

I like it here, but I just want to be smaller here.

I'm going to cry.

I know I'm not big, but to what I used to be...

And I just feel I've let myself go a bit.

Oh, that really upsets me. Don't cry.

I totally get it. I really do.

People... People think I'm silly because I'm not that big,

but they don't know how it made me feel before, you now,

dancing all the time.

With me not dancing, that's upsetting, as well.

So, it's all in one.

'I really understand what Suzie is going through

'and would love to try and help her.

'But, before we meet again, it's time for me to catch up with Stevie,

'who has come to London for a big appointment.

'At just 25, he's impotent

'and has never managed to have sex without libido-enhancing drugs.

'Stevie is desperate to find a cure

'and today he is meeting a hypnotherapist.'

Since you found out you got an appointment,

how have you been feeling?

-Um, anxious. Um, apprehensive.

-You seem it.

-Yeah.

And how are you feeling about the potential

that it could really help you?

If this did do what it's meant to do,

then I'll just be over the moon.

It'll be such a weight off my shoulders.

How much will it affect your life?

It will completely alter my life, because it will be like a whole...

I suppose it will be like starting from teenage again.

Hi.

'Aaron Surtees claims he can cure emotional impotence.

'But, as Stevie doesn't know if the cause is emotional or physical,

'it feels a bit like a shot in the dark.'

Have you got any questions about the hypnosis?

How is it going to work? Is it going to be a case of I'm hypnotised

and you're going to ask me questions?

Or is it more like you'll be telling me things?

It's basically a state where I will be putting

hypnotic suggestions into the subconscious to help reprogram

your subconscious to start thinking differently.

I'll see you on the other side, bye.

Your mind is beginning to wander now and drift.

That's OK.

It just means that you're relaxing.

Your subconscious mind is listening,

and listening carefully, to everything that I say.

Because the subject is such a taboo

and you do hear guys joking a lot about not being able to get it up,

I hadn't really realised how deeply this can affect someone.

And a confident expectation in your abilities

to gain and sustain an erection

without any need or desire to pop any pill.

I feel like I've really misunderstood this issue.

And I understand now why he takes the Viagra on a regular basis,

even though it gives him crippling headaches.

Actually, it's worth it for him

to be able to perform to get rid of the problem.

But, if today works, if that hypnosis works,

I think it will mean more to him that I can ever really know.

Hard, without doubt.

Erect, without a question.

Able to slide inside, rock hard.

Without any need for any kind of pill,

not even the thought of a pill.

And you find that this is the case each time and every time now.

You enjoy sex and sexual intercourse.

Your eyes open and a nice, deep breath.

A good stretch of the body.

Come on.

Hello. How did it feel?

It felt like he'd put my feelings back into me.

Like, it felt like they were entering me again.

So, you know, like when you're young

and it's the first time you're ever touched by another partner.

And that...that feeling, like your whole...

That rushes through your body. All that was being pumped back into me.

Have you seen that before? Is that a normal reaction?

That's just the thing, everyone's individual,

so, you know, some people are more sensitive.

I think Stevie's, actually, more receptive

in certain ways than average.

It feels to me, after that dramatic reaction,

this might be a psychological, emotional problem.

I think definitely. Definitely. 100%.

-In a way, is that not a good thing?

-I felt what I never felt before.

-It is a good thing.

-It's more of a solution.

I know now that I don't have to be chopped up

and have things propped into me.

-Like the scary video.

-I don't want that for you.

Are you interested to see how this

translates to when you're with Tommy?

Definitely. I can't wait to get home.

We need to get you on a train to Wales, quick!

-Tommy!

-If only I had a helicopter, I'd fly you there.

I was a bit sceptical about hypnosis before,

but he seems to be so much happier, so much more relaxed

and has obviously had quite a dramatic response to it.

Sex is such an enjoyable, wonderful,

important part of adult life

and Stevie hasn't been able to experience that.

I really hope that this is the beginning of him

being able to enjoy a sex life.

'Six weeks and another hypnotherapy session later,

'Stevie and Tommy pay me a visit.

'I can't wait to find out if their sex life is at last on the up.'

So, what is the update?

Well, there is quite a lot of update.

Where shall I start?

OK, so, basically, since I went for the hypnotherapy,

everything has been amazing.

Really?

I love that you are nodding so enthusiastically. "Yes, it has."

-Yeah, there's been no problems whatsoever.

-Really?

-Yeah.

What are we like now together? We can't leave each other alone.

We are so passionate with each other, we cuddle more.

So, how has being able to perform sexually without any worries

changed you?

It has completed changed my whole life,

because now I know that we can both satisfy each other.

-Everything else around us is good. There's no bad really, is there?

-No.

-What difference have you noticed?

-Well, he's more confident in bed.

And he is more confident in his personality and, like,

he shows more affection and love towards me.

I think it's better now, because you had to plan it before.

Yeah, we don't have to worry about times and we can just...

It doesn't even come into our minds now.

It's not the case of, "Are we having sex tonight?"

-That's extraordinary that it's had that much impact.

-Yeah.

-So, have you taken any more pills?

-No.

There's been, like, some times where I've thought,

-"Oh, maybe I should." But then...

-Why?

Only because I still doubt. I still always feel...

It's still there in the back of my mind that it's going to happen,

but, then, just even when we are cuddling

and stuff or even just talking to each other or looking at each other.

There's no need for a pill.

Do you think that pills are just quite an easy option?

They're a lot easier than having to talk to anyone about it.

I mean, you can get them online, nobody has to know,

not even your doctor.

Why do you think hypnotherapy worked for you?

Do you know what?

I honestly think it was because the guy who was doing it,

he wasn't shy about using the words that most doctors never use.

You know? He was telling me to picture myself doing these things.

And although it was uncomfortable, it was working

and I felt it doing something and I knew it was right.

If I had known it was there all this time ago,

then I would have just done that in the first place.

There's something else.

I feel like you're going to drop a massive bomb.

-We're getting married in six weeks.

-Oh, my God!

What? That's great! Oh, my God,

-congratulations!

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-That's amazing!

-Wow!

-I know.

And then the plan is, obviously, to move in together.

And we're going to start doing the things that we want to do.

Like Tommy's got dreams, I've got dreams,

and we want to go fulfil them.

We think, "Why not now?"

There's nothing holding us back any more.

-And we've got each other to support us.

-Yeah, were like a team.

-We keep each other going.

-Yeah.

'I am so happy for Stevie.

'He seems like a different person from the guy I met six weeks ago.'

I feel a bit cross on his behalf that he was given

such strong drugs really quickly.

From what he has told me,

it seems really clear that it was an emotional problem.

But I am really thrilled for him that he's found something

that's more sustainable.

'Having seen the transformation in Stevie,

'I'm back with former dancer Suzie

'and can't wait to put my plan into action.'

When was the last time you danced?

More than a few months ago.

-More than six months ago. So...

-OK, excellent.

'These days she is more likely to pop a slimming pill than take

'a dance class, and I want to find out why.'

-Do you exercise a lot?

-Um, I try to.

I have a gym membership, but I haven't used it that much.

-How much is your gym membership?

-£56 a month.

-And how often do you go?

-About three times a month.

I love how honest you are.

I do want to more. It's in the head.

The first step is I joined a gym,

now I've got to go to it.

It's really difficult.

It's the mental energy in my head is going, "Ugh, I just need to...

"I'm going to take the pills.

"I'll take the pills, I'll take a shake instead."

You know? It's just a... it's a quick fix, it's easy.

If there's a slight chance that these will work...

The thing about these pills is they offer the quick fix,

they offer this magic solution, but really do they deliver?

'I've got a feeling that what she really needs

'is an endorphin rush. Time to hit the dance floor.'

# Baby, I just want to dance

# I don't really care

# I just want to dance

# I don't really care, care, care Feel it in the air, yeah!

# She's a mean and crazy dicta

# Disco diva and you wonder

# Who's that chick? Who's that chick?

# Too cold for you to keep her Too hot for you to leave her

# Who's that chick? Who's that chick? #

-Nice!

-That was amazing.

-You look really happy.

-I am. I'm buzzing now.

When you hear the music and it's something that I love to do so much,

it just all comes back to me.

-So based on how you feel now...

-Yeah.

..the next two weeks in the run-up to the holiday,

pills versus exercise,

how are you feeling?

After that, that's what I want to do.

That's what makes me feel good.

Are you going to carry on taking the pills?

I don't want to.

I think I may take less. Possibly.

Now that has just all come back to me how much I love it.

I think I might do less of one, more of this.

OK.

The difference between anxious pill popping Suzie this morning

and excited dancing Suzie this afternoon,

it's a different person.

I really hope she can carry on the motivation and exercise

and feel really good about herself.

I just wonder whether her passion for dance is strong enough

to fight her addiction to a quick fix.

'Four weeks later, Suzie is back from holiday.'

Hello.

'What I want know is, is she still popping pills?'

So, did you carry on with the dancing?

I did. I actually went back the next day

and I got myself a membership.

-Wow!

-I went to a couple of the classes.

Once I've done a class, I'm like, "Yeah!

"I need to do more!"

And then I'm buzzing when I leave and everything.

And then as soon as I go home,

maybe see those photos are see someone on the way home that's thin,

I instantly go, "Oh."

So, have you been able to resist the lure

of your magic potion cupboard?

I have, actually, because I've been so preoccupied with dancing,

I kind of forget that they're in there.

Why aren't you going to throw everything out?

It's because I know there's going to be some of those days

when I'm, like, ill or it's raining...

Excuse, excuse, excuse.

But I know there'll be those days where I go,

"I can't be bothered."

In which case, then I'd probably go for the cupboard.

Do you think you are actually addicted to the pills?

I think I am because even though I'm going,

"No, I'm fine, I'm exercising, I'm not taking them."

In the back of my mind, I'm still going,

"Maybe when I have a down day, I'm going to go for them."

It says to me that I need to keep them,

which says I'm a little bit addicted to them.

I've got a confession.

You know after we had our day together, I went and bought some.

-Did you? Cherry!

-Yeah, I just tried it for a couple of days.

I know, it's so naughty, because I thought...

I know it's insane, but I thought, "Maybe there is something."

It's ridiculous. I tried them for a couple of days.

They did absolutely nothing, but I haven't thrown them out.

-No?

-Because I want to believe that there is a magic cure.

-Yeah.

-Do you think that they maybe just don't work?

-Probably.

I think you're quite right, but in the back of my mind, I go,

-"Maybe it does."

-So you're definitely going to carry on with the dancing?

Yeah, definitely.

I think more so because I've sort of thought about my career

and, obviously,

with all the dancing... It's not that realistic for me

to have a career in dancing at the moment.

But I am now trying to train to be a fitness instructor.

-No way! Really?

-Yes.

I want to teach dance, I want to teach fitness,

I want to teach all that kind of stuff. So...

That's bloody brilliant!

-I'm so happy for you. That's really exciting.

-So I've got no excuse.

Then you'll have no excuse.

'I've known for a while that my belief in slimming pills

'is a bit bonkers,

'but at least now I realise I'm not alone.'

So, are we all addicts? Yes, I think we are.

The idea of the quick fix is so seductive that even if it

comes with bad consequences, it's sometimes impossible to resist.

I've been on the slimming game long enough to know that,

annoyingly, there is no substitute for eating healthily and exercise.

So... Bye-bye, miracle fat-burners.

But the jeans, I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to those yet.

I'm so obsessed with my weight,

I think I'm actually a bit addicted to the neurosis.

I sometimes wonder, without that going on in my head,

what would fill the gaps?

# I sell it by the bottle

# Oh, I'll make it last all night

-# Don't worry about tomorrow

-Yeah!

# Ah! Ah, ah, ah!

# I got the remedy

# Oh, we let it go

# So won't you come sit next to me

# I've got the remedy. #

'Next time, I'll be finding out if vanity can ever be positive

'in a world obsessed with appearance.'

What are you doing? Stop it!

Would I grow out my body hair?

Go on!

# Cos the coach is in the place

# Check out the body and the handsome face. #

-Yes!

-I'll do it.

'Have our looks become more important than who we are?'

Oh, my gosh!

'Or can we harness them to change our lives?'

Do you think I have a glamorous life?

I'd want to be a bit more famous.

# Oh, we let it go

# So won't you come sit next to me?

# I got the remedy

# Oh, you never know

# Oh, I could give you what you need

# I got the remedy

# Oh, we let it go

# So won't you come sit next to me?

# I got the remedy

# Oh, you never know

# Oh, I could give you what you need... #

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