How Prejudiced Are We? Cherry Healey: How to Get a Life

I'm Cherry Healey and in the last few years,

my life has been turned on its head.

I've gone from this...

to this...

BABY CRIES

..and then to this.

I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like the world

is running away from me and it's high time I caught up.

So I'm determined to get some answers to life's fundamental questions -

does my bum look big in this?

Am I too old to take drugs?

Do I need a Brazilian?

Today I want to find out how prejudiced we are

in a politically correct world.

We know we should be open-minded - most of us like to think we are open-minded,

but on some level, don't we all judge a book by its cover?

I'll be meeting a cast of characters who challenge

our preconceptions about everything, from racism...

-You almost want to go up and shake them and say, "I'm not a terrorist, I'm a Sikh!"

-And sexism...

"Do you do the clock-in?" No, Gran, I go on the fire engine and go out to fires.

-To homophobia...

-We were disgusting lesbians.

And disability.

Which of this lot do you think carries a knife?

And who's the most likely to be a porn star?

I'll be finding out when I get a taste of life in their world.

Sorry... I just feel like such a wet baby.

Then I'll be inviting them into mine and bringing them back to my hub -

my base for the next few months - in a bid to get them to confess all.

What is the worst case of prejudice you've encountered?

Assuming I'm mentally retarded because I'm in a wheelchair.

Women in particular saying "I'd be really disappointed if you rescued me."

You'd be in a burning building, and I would drag you outside,

I'd take my mask off, and you'd go... "Oh my God, you're a woman! Throw me back in!"

Will any of them change the way they live their lives as a result?

How would it make you feel?

I can't really say the words on camera, but I'd be really annoyed.

'Or will the change be all mine?'

What does that say about me?

That I'm that surprised that she's still really overtly sexual.

Like it or not, we all have preconceptions.

I wonder what you see when you look at me?

I'm white, middle-class and a woman.

I bet you think I did ballet when I was growing up.

Well, that's where you'd be wrong.

I was in a crew called Motion Sickness

and we even were a supporting act for Ice T.

I'm a LITTLE bit rusty.

# Electric boogie

CHEERING

# Dance

# Freeze

# I'm going home

# Just dance

CHEERING

# Dance... #

Oh... Oh, I feel old!

# Break dance... #

I think I was rebelling against my really safe and conventional middle-class family.

# Everybody on the floor. #

I liked breaking people's preconceptions.

When they found out that I was a girl and quite...middle-class

and a break-dancer, that was quite fun, watching people's surprise.

# There's no stopping love

# No stopping

# No-one does it better

# No-one does it better

# There's no stopping love. #

And I had a B-girl name - I was B-girl Wiley Kit.

I did not choose it, OK? It has to be given to you.

It's not my choice.

And at that age, it made me feel like I had my own identity.

OK, so my brand of girl power might have owed more to

the Spice Girls than Germaine Greer, but to this day,

I firmly believe that women can do anything they want.

But it's one thing to challenge stereotypes when it comes to

your hobby, it's quite another to do it day-in, day-out.

I'm in South Wales to meet a woman who holds her own in a man's world

and risks her life in the process.

21-year-old Rebecca joined the Fire Service at 17,

following in her father's footsteps.

She's one of just 4% of female firefighters in the UK.

I want to find out what life is like for her in such a male-dominated job.

-Hello, you Rebecca?

-I am, yes.

-Nice to meet you, I'm Cherry.

'And I can't believe I'm finally going to realise

'one of my lifelong ambitions...'

-Oh, wicked!

-Want to jump on first?

-After you.

I'm going inside a fire engine!

Bloody Nora.

Wow! And it's rock solid.

Feel there - go on.

Oh, my God, you've got a six-pack!

My baby's younger than yours.

-Have you got a kid?

-Yeah!

-No way! How old?

-He's 21 months old.

Oh, my God. What...?

How is that possible?

-Do you do lots of sit-ups?

-Yes.

-Yes, I bet you do! I BET you do!

I need to do a few more!

How do the guys react to you, other firefighters?

When I first meet people, you can sense the sort of,

"there's a girl in the room..."

Like a big white elephant in the corner, going rah!

It takes them a few minutes, then I think they get to know me

and go, "oh, you're just like us". And I go, "yeah".

It's members of the public who get shocked more than firefighters.

'And I can understand why.

'We're so conditioned to think of physical work as men's work,

'how does Rebecca do it?

'And can I keep up?'

Oh, my God, I've always wanted to see one of these!

-They really exist!

-Yeah! And we use them, as well!

-No way.

-Yeah!

Oh, God, I've got the fear - just don't have the fear. Just go.

Oh, God!

HANDS SQUEAK AGAINST POLE

Smooth.

I love them!

'And we're off.'

Here we go... Whoo!

SIREN WAILS

Today, I'm an honorary member of Red Watch and they're taking me on

a training exercise, to show me what it takes to become a firefighter.

-'How hard can it be?'

-SHE YELPS

It's really heavy!

These spreaders - mainly used to rescue people from car wrecks -

are heavier than your average baggage allowance.

-OK?

-Yeah.

-Want a little rest?

-No.

You don't rest, so I won't.

Even the hose weighs nearly twice as much as my two-year-old.

SHE SHOUTS ORDERS

Oh, my God.

If you're squirting this water onto a barn fire,

you could be stood there quite a while.

-How long is quite a while?

-Till the fire's out.

-Wow.

-Pull them out. Towards you.

-Oh!

-Got it?

Whoo!

I got water in my boot.

Water in your boot?

'I'm shattered, even after this basic training exercise.

'I can't begin to imagine how I'd cope in a real emergency.'

Look, I work out. I, like, thought I was really fit.

SHE GRUNTS

That is really tiring. I'm not going to give up my day job.

Why are people so surprised when they hear you're firefighter?

Society as a whole, we've tried to split men and women up so much.

I still have it from little ones all the way up to the older generations.

People are still sometimes a little bit shocked.

If it's a kid in a classroom, going, "you are definitely a lady, aren't you?"

It's like, yes, I'm a lady. "But you're a fireman!"

No, I'm a firefighter. "What's the difference?"

Well, I'm a lady, aren't I? "Oh, yeah."

And then, like my grandmother, she couldn't believe that

I was going to be a firefighter, she was like, "so you answer phones?"

No, Gran. "You're not in the control room?" No, Gran.

"So do you do the clock-in? And the cleaning?"

No, Gran - I go on the fire engine and go out to fires.

And she just sat there, like...

"Well, you couldn't do that in my day."

With only 1,700 female firefighters currently

working in Britain, I want to know what the men on Rebecca's watch

think about having a woman on their team.

-Have you worked very much with women?

-First time for me.

I've been in the job 21 years and for Becky to come here, yes,

it was a bit of a change.

But a change for the better, I think. It's good for the dynamics of the watch.

You've got to be diverse and encourage them into the job anyway.

-Why do you think there aren't very many girls?

-For years,

it was a male-orientated and dominated society.

And I think a lot of women just don't want to do it.

-Yeah.

-I mean, you've done a bit this morning. Would you want to do it?

-No.

-Well, there we are.

Now the watch want me and Rebecca to take part in one of their

toughest training exercises - to rescue a dummy body from a building.

We have to wear masks and breathing apparatus

to simulate operating in smoky conditions.

Inside, it's pitch black.

So this heat-seeking camera is the only way to keep track of us.

Now we've found the 10-stone dummy,

we have to manoeuvre it through a narrow pipe.

'It's been very tough,

'but a real-life situation would be much tougher.'

Oh, my God.

I don't know how you do that.

You imagine ramping that up, with the heat, the smoke...

Now perhaps the husband's turned up from work...

"Have you got my wife and children out? I know they're still in there."

And also, the crews then are going to enter that risk area.

Sorry...

I know they're still in there, because the husband is telling you they're still in there.

I don't know how you do that. Sorry, I'm just...

I just feel like such a wet baby.

It's just a dummy. I don't know how you do that.

It's really, really claustrophobic and panicky and you can't go through

small spaces really easily, so I felt like I was going to get stuck.

Then you get to the end and there's a body there and it's just a dummy,

but that's a real person if it's...

And you can't get them out... And they're really heavy.

And I just can't imagine what it must be like with fire and heat.

It's really hard not to have a bit of a panic.

'I'm ashamed at my reaction.

'I feel like I've let Rebecca down, but now I understand that

'the hardest part of her job isn't physical, it's psychological.

'Later on, I'll be spending time with Rebecca's family,

'to find out how she combines her dangerous job with being a mum.'

But now, much as I hate to admit it,

I'm off to confront one of my own prejudices.

I thought I was pretty open-minded and was comfortable with most things

but last year, I made a programme about virginity and

I met a woman in a wheelchair who was really sexually experimental.

I've got a box of toys...

I've got bed restraints on my bed!

I've even been handcuffed to my chair.

-The threesome was quite nice!

-What?!

It's really challenged me, and I found myself asking,

can a woman in a wheelchair really be that sexually liberated?

I'm not alone in feeling uncomfortable mentioning sexuality

and disability in the same breath.

Even though there are 1.2 million wheelchair users in the UK,

70% of us wouldn't consider having sex with someone

who has a physical disability.

And only 4% admit to having had a disabled sexual partner.

Statistics like these are just the tip of the iceberg.

So I'm off to Wales to meet a woman who I hope will challenge me

to see disability differently.

Alison is 31.

Four years ago, her life changed forever,

when she fell out of a window at a friend's party.

I came around being strapped into the ambulance,

but I was told I didn't lose consciousness,

but I don't remember anything from outside the window to the ambulance.

One of the girls that came with me in the ambulance,

she heard them say, (she's not going to walk again).

Apparently, I was under for six hours, I haemorrhaged,

they said I could have died. Anyway,

I think "I wish you'd just let me." It's easier.

Alison lost the use of her lower body

and now relies on a wheelchair to get around.

What she finds most difficult

is how people's behaviour towards her has changed.

Sometimes people come up to you

and they seem to think they can just ask you what happened.

I don't want to be reminded of the day that I ruined my life.

It's just more that sometimes people pity me.

Degrading, really. They think they've done some good deed, talking to the girl in the wheelchair

or they know exactly what it's like for me, and I'm like...

You haven't got a clue.

You know, I might look like I'm gliding about like an angel

on wheels, but every day I wake up, there's a wheelchair next to my bed.

I've come to meet Alison at her home near Caerphilly.

-Hiya, you Alison?

-Hiya.

-Cherry.

-Hi!

-Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Now, do you want any help, or is that...like...

-If I wanted help, I'd ask for it.

-Is that how it is... Like...

I don't like it when people... People do it all the time anyway.

Whether or not you can walk. Um...

Like sometimes I'll just be sat about and they'll be like,

"Do you want a hand?"

I'm like, a hand with what? I'm fine, thanks. If I ask for it, it's fine.

What was it like going out before the accident, compared to now?

Everything is like, a bit of a hassle, you know?

I've got to get dressed - that'll take me like, a day.

Then going to the car, trying to keep everything on your lap.

Got to get the wheelchair in, wheelchair out.

I wish, just for five seconds, I could walk,

so I could run in the house, pick something up and come out.

I have no idea what it's like, but I think the logistics would piss me off.

Yes, the whole being unable to walk thing, that, like...

That doesn't bother me. It's the little things.

Have you been particularly mindful to keep your independence?

Yes, I'm quite vehement about it.

As soon as I got a car, it's like...

It's like I'm trying to spite my wheelchair.

Like, you're not going to control me and rule my life.

'I'm keen to see how Alison deals with something

'as basic as a trip to the shops.

'So we're off to her local high street,

'where we quickly encounter our first obstacle.

'And it seems it's my attitude.'

When we came in the shop, I wasn't sure whether you wanted my help or not.

-I mean, in that situation, is it a case where you'll just ask if you need it?

-Yes, I'll ask.

I can see the steps. Like, "Bump me in".

When you go clothes shopping, do you try the clothes on?

No, it's too much hard work.

A lot of places haven't got wheelchair-accessible changing rooms anyway.

What are the real difficulties with shopping now?

There's not enough room.

Sometimes shops put things on the floor and it would be easy

if you can walk. It's not a particularly big chair, anyway, but...

I wouldn't have a problem getting round here.

But in some shops, even the chains, they've got displays,

and I'm like, how am I going to... buy my milk?

-Do you want help?

-Hang on.

Just a minute, cos I've got to stay in a wheelie.

Whoa!

Whoo-hoo! Yes, and I'm out!

SHE LAUGHS

After witnessing the challenges that shopping presents,

it's time for a bit of pampering -

the perfect opportunity to find out more about Alison.

-So do you like to pamper yourself?

-Yes, I do.

I used to get it all done before I broke my back.

Just helps me feel more like myself, more like an attractive woman.

-Is your appearance important to you?

-Yes, it is.

I want to look in the mirror and I want to like what I see.

Has it been hard to get used to the wheelchair in terms of aesthetic appearance?

Yes, it has, because the whole body shape changes.

I look in the mirror and see my legs are skinny

and I don't fancy that.

What did you do for work before you broke your back?

I used to work full-time in a bank...

and then I started doing work in lap-dancing clubs,

so I was a pole dancer.

Went into private work,

like house parties and things.

-Were you a strip-o-gram?

-I was a stripper.

I was a stripper!

-Yeah.

-Oh, wow.

-I worked on the channels, I've done porn.

-A glamour model, a stripper and a porn star?

-Yes.

-God.

-And then they took it all away from me.

-What do you mean by that?

It was all taken away, you know?

Like, I still do photo shoots and things. I've got my own website

for people who've got preferences for ladies in wheelchairs.

I haven't even got to get naked for it.

It's just encapsulating the disability.

I've really enjoyed meeting Alison.

I want to say that I find her attitude of "business as usual"

really inspiring, but I also know from today that Alison would

find that really patronising, as though, why would she not want

to feel attractive and womanly,

just cos she was in a wheelchair?

I have been really surprised at the news that she used to be

a porn star and that she still is...

doing porn.

But what does that say about me?

That I'm that surprised that she's still really overtly sexual?

Spending time with Alison has definitely opened my eyes,

but my open-mindedness is going to be put to the test later,

when she reveals all about her porn career.

First, I'm heading to South London to meet someone who's not quite what they seem.

26-year-old Shavell is a dancer from Brixton,

but not the sort you might imagine.

MUSIC: "The Montagues and Capulets" from Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev

He's a member of the English National Ballet's corps de ballet.

They're currently rehearsing for a performance of The Rite Of Spring.

Pliee, slide,

da dee da da da duh...

MUSIC: "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" by Tchaikovsky

Three words - buns of steel.

SHE MOUTHS

'After this, I want a ticket!'

(How can anyone be that stretchy?)

While I was rebelling against my upbringing by pretending

I was from the street, man,

Shavell was rebelling against HIS in the opposite direction.

Now he's one of only two black ballet dancers in the UK.

Ooh! Should have brought my legwarmers!

-So where did you grow up?

-I grew up in Brixton, Angell Town.

It was quite notorious for, you know, gangs and...

-drugs and whatnot.

-So when did you start doing ballet?

I was in primary school, thinking I was going into a PE lesson,

and it wasn't, it was an audition.

I just thought, OK - this is a weird PE lesson.

-I was just going through the motions.

-Kind of enjoying it cos it was a bit of a laugh?

It was just a new thing. I was always someone who wanted to do something.

So that was just another hobby which...took me off the streets.

At the age of 11, he became the first black student ever

to win a scholarship to the prestigious Royal Ballet School

in Richmond, only ten miles away from home, but worlds apart.

His friend Daniel remembers what it was like for Shavell.

Shavell was definitely out of his comfort zone.

This different atmosphere, the 2½ hours of concentration and ballet,

it was just different for everyone, but perhaps more different for him.

Have you ever seen Shavell being a victim of prejudice?

Once, in a club, there was a whole group of us

and he got stopped and searched and taken into a back room.

Needless to say, he didn't have any, but he was stopped and searched and the rest of the group wasn't.

Suddenly, it wasn't just this black Billy Elliot's dance moves

that were being judged.

I used to get told off so many times from friends.

You can't say "wa'er", it's WATER. You can't say innit, it's ISN'T IT.

But then I'll go home and people will be like, Shav, you're so posh!

Like, you're saying WATER and ISN'T IT!

You know, you sound like a white man, all this sort of stuff,

and you'll just be like, oh, Jesus!

You know, some of the stuff they were saying was a little bit cruel.

-What did they say?

-You know, ballet's for girls, ballet's for poofs...

You try to please everyone, do you know what I mean?

How did you deal with that?

Because you must have only been eight, nine at the time?

Ignore them. That was the only thing you could really do.

Ignoring them and... I did sometimes get quite upset.

At one point, I was going to stop,

but a friend of mine actually said, "no, stick with it.

"The other children don't know what they're talking about." So I'm glad I did.

Why do you think there are so few black ballet dancers?

-Because there's not many role models out there,

-I

-think.

'Now though, I just want to learn some moves.

'I'm posh, white and well spoken,

'so that should make me a great ballet dancer - right?!'

# Dance, ballerina, dance

# And do your pirouette

# In rhythm with your aching heart

# Dance, ballerina, dance

# You mustn't once forget

# A dancer has to dance the part

# Whirl, ballerina, whirl

# And just ignore the chair that's empty in the second row... #

-Better?

-Better.

-I can't do any more spinning. I'm going to throw up!

OK. One, two, three, four, five...

-Six! Cheat, cheat!

-I did cheat!

'Last time I met Shavell, I couldn't help feeling

'we were both holding something back,

'so I've invited him round to my hub for a proper heart-to-heart.'

Nice to see you.

When I met you, I found that I put myself into a bit of a PC...hole.

I didn't want to say the wrong thing or come across in a bad way

and I felt that you were a bit like that, too.

You were quite guarded. Is that true?

I wouldn't say I'm guarded.

-Um...

-Careful, maybe?

-Maybe careful.

-Yes.

I'm in a profession which is... predominately white.

I'm sort of finding my sort of way around it.

You don't want to say anything which is going to,

-ruffle the feathers, really.

-What do you mean?

Because I am one of the only black British dancers out there,

I would hate to feel that people feel, you know,

I'm not appreciative of the opportunity that I've been given.

Do you think that the situation is fine as it is?

Do you think that if there was as few black ballet dancers

in five, ten years' time, that would be OK?

-No.

-How would it make you feel?

I can't really say the words on camera, but I'd be really annoyed.

Yeah!

I can hear the translation. Yeah!

When you were small,

did your friends ever ask to see your ballet shoes?

-Were they curious about it?

-Yes, definitely.

I did a talent show when I was younger at school,

primary school, and they wanted me to do, like, a ballet dance.

I was like, I don't really want to. And yes, I got booed.

Yeah, and it was awful.

That was really hurtful and I think I ran out and I was really upset.

-Ran out, I heard people booing.

-Oh, my God. How old were you?

-Probably about seven, eight.

-Oh, no.

And probably, that's why I am so strong and know what I want to do.

-Have you ever been booed since?

-No.

Yes! By myself! Boo, Shav, that was bad! That was bad.

What is the worst prejudice you've ever had to deal with?

If I'm being honest, I haven't really had any.

If I did feel anything which was quite bad,

then I'd be out of there like a shot.

What I've been lucky to have is,

I've seen a little bit of everything -

white, black, gays, straight -

do you know what I mean?

I've been around it and realised that at the end of the day,

everyone's a person.

Not what colour they are, what race they are, what sexuality they are.

At the end of the day, we're all the same.

-Some of us aren't as flexible as others.

-Yeah, true!

Shavell's attitude is pretty enlightened

and I'm sure that most of us in modern, multicultural Britain

would like to think that we're equally tolerant.

But I'm about to find out that that's far from the reality.

MUSIC: "Rock The Party" by Benzino

# What is a party if it don't rock We just gon' proceed to make it hot. #

I'm meeting up with 33-year-old Gurdev Singh,

a British-born Sikh whose appearance often causes a stir.

You're visually quite distinct. How do people react to you?

Um, it's mixed, really.

Some people obviously know I'm a Sikh and there's no reaction at all.

But after 9/11, this all changed.

The media was flooded with images of Bin Laden with a turban

and beard and by accident, this association was made through

the media and also through society that the person with a turban

and a beard is a terrorist.

Frequent examples I have are when people shout "Taleban"

and I'm just walking down the road.

-Someone would shout "Taleban" at you?

-Yes.

-So how do you feel on public transport?

-I feel very self-aware.

Self-aware of my identity and I'm on a train or a bus at that time.

London being London, people don't talk on the Tube or buses anyway,

-so...

-It's more... That's about as sociable as it gets.

-Look away.

I'm not going to give you eye contact.

But...what happens in that context is, I could quite easily

sit down somewhere and I will find people walk up,

look around the carriage or bus or train for a seat, clearly see there's

an empty seat next to me

and choose to stand rather than sit next to me.

Because of fear I might... blow myself up.

How does that feel when you see someone turn away

and stand instead of sitting next to you?

It's humiliating. You almost want to go up and shake them and say I'm not a threat,

I'm not a terrorist, I'm a Sikh! I'm no threat to you at all!

Is it rare or is it something you encounter?

I encounter it quite often, really.

It's happened so often, I've added a bit of humour to it now,

whereas if somebody comes in and I've got the other seat, if they don't wish to sit

next to me, I deliberately take up as much room as I wish now!

-So there is a silver lining?

-Yes, I mean, I get to sit comfortably!

Gurdev grew up a Sikh,

but only began to take his religion more seriously in 2004.

It was a major transformation that started on a university trip to Russia.

-That's me in the middle.

-Yes, you look really, really different.

-That's amazing.

-That's me when I was in Russia.

Was that just before you made a commitment?

It was at the time when I was having a lot of thoughts, a lot of study

was going on and when I came back to the UK, that's when I changed.

Like most devout Sikhs, Gurdev doesn't cut his hair.

-We don't cut any hair on our body.

-Does it get...

Such a stupid question! Does it get annoying?

It actually becomes a source of pride,

because if you take the Bible, for example - Samson, his strength

laid in his hair and when it was cut, he lost all his strength and powers.

That is the strength of identity of standing out amongst the crowd.

Another important article of his faith is the dagger

he wears under his jacket.

It's a Kirpan, which is your ceremonial sword.

Essential as they are to his religion, the sword, the turban

and the beard do make Gurdev stand out in a post-9/11 world.

# I don't like cricket, oh no... #

-So how big a cricket fan are you?

-Oh, a huge cricket fan.

Myself and my sisters we've been playing cricket, watching cricket for as long as I can remember.

Last summer, he found out just how much attention his appearance can attract

when he went to watch India play England in a test match at Lord's.

As I got to security, I was searched as everybody else was,

cleared through security, no issue.

But I actually declared to the security officer that

I'm a practising Sikh, part of my faith is I carry a ceremonial sword.

At that point, she had a mass panic, she really didn't know how to

deal with the situation and she called her security guard.

They spoke to me and said, "You can't come in here with a knife".

I was ushered out and then dragged outside and made to stand here

with three police officers around me, standing there.

We live in a society where knife crime is a real problem,

it's a real concern for people.

Don't you think you should be really culturally sensitive to that,

and aware that it's going to cause worry if someone's got a weapon?

But the Kirpan isn't actually a weapon.

It's enshrined in UK law that it circumvents weapons law

-because it's a religious article of faith.

-Yes, I understand that, again,

cos I was at an event like this and was sitting watching

the cricket with my daughter and I saw a man with a concealed knife...

I'd feel threatened and worried and I would contact the authorities.

It would be an ignorant reaction, but I think an understandable one.

'I understand Gurdev's frustration, but also the reaction he got.

'It's just not a clear-cut issue. Still, I'm curious to learn how things turned out.'

So what happened as a result of that situation?

I sat outside Lord's cricket ground and protested.

My sister had got me one of the four and the six cards,

kindly, from inside the ground, and I actually wrote on it,

"Baptised, practising Sikhs not welcome at Lord's".

I sat right here all day from 11 o'clock until seven,

at the close of play, and protested.

Lord's cricket ground actually took advice,

they actually sent me an apology letter, apologising for the treatment

and the fact that they are going to revise their policies regarding the Kirpan

and then offered me a free corporate day with my family

again to come to Lord's in the summer for England versus South Africa.

-Free tickets?

-Yes.

-Yeah, baby!

-In a box.

Lords has made an impressive turnaround.

But Gurdev's story does show how intolerance often comes from ignorance.

I wonder how MOST people would feel if they saw a man carrying a knife

and would they feel better if they knew the reason why?

'We're heading back to the park to find out.'

Hiya.

-Hi.

-Can I interrupt you for one second?

-Sure you can.

-Can we ask you a couple of questions?

-Of course.

-OK.

If you saw that out and about, what would you think?

In a park, I'd be a bit worried.

It's part of you, part of your culture. It's fine.

-So you wouldn't feel threatened by it?

-Not at all.

If you saw this, what would you think?

I'd probably still be a bit nervous, just because that's not my religion.

But, that doesn't mean it can't be yours.

If you saw this item in the park and you were passing him,

how would you feel? How would you react?

It looks quite decorative, so I wouldn't think it was...

he was carrying it for a weapon.

I have to say, before I met him,

I would have had questions about the ceremonial sword.

If I'd seen that, I would have felt a bit threatened, a bit nervous.

Now I understand its significance, it's completely different.

It does show me

how important information is into changing your perception.

Gurdev's not the only cricket fan people make assumptions about.

And while I'm unlikely to experience racism like he has,

I've never enjoyed being stereotyped either.

I've always been a bit of a tomboy.

I have three brothers, so I grew up climbing trees and listening to AC/DC.

I was really competitive growing up,

so I was captain of the cricket team at school.

I think partly because when I was growing up,

I thought cricket was for boys, which made me really want to do it.

When it comes to gender stereotyping,

if I get told that I can't do something because I'm a girl,

it makes me REALLY want to do it.

'That must be a bit how firefighter Rebecca feels every day.'

Ooh!

'She's made a career out of confounding gender expectations.

'I'm back to meet her family

'and find out how husband Joe copes with her commitment to the job.'

Since you've had your son William,

have you worried more that she's away, doing a dangerous job?

The only time I do worry is when she's late and she's on a call.

You don't get a phone call and an hour and a half later,

still no phone call and you're like... Hm, is she OK? Isn't she?

But as soon as she gets back to the station, she'll phone me

and say you know, I'm late.

-I'm on my way home now.

-God, the relief.

-That must be the longest hour and a half ever.

-It's worrying,

because you know, you're texting and you try phoning

and because they're not allowed to have their phones with them,

you're getting no answer.

And you're thinking, she must be on a shout. As soon as, you know,

as soon as she gets back, she'll let me know.

She'll let me know. She's got to be back soon... Come on...

Do you kind of prepare yourself for the call, for the news?

Well, it's one of those things.

I know that if anything did happen, that there'd be a knock at the door.

Why do you think she has moments where

she gets completely focused on work?

She has to try even harder, because she's a woman in the Fire Service.

Basically. That's why she gives like, 110%.

Joe's not the only person who's affected by Rebecca's career choice.

I want to find out how she squares the stress of being

a firefighter and a mum to toddler William.

Say hi!

-Hello! Aah, he's so gorgeous!

-Thank you.

-So today, you've got your "mummy hat" on.

-Yep, today I'm Mam.

Has anyone ever commented on the fact that you're a parent and a firefighter?

I've had people say that as a mother, I shouldn't be a firefighter,

because I'm putting myself at risk and that's not fair to my son

and that I'm a bad parent.

That's their opinion and I completely disagree with them.

I think as much as it'd be terrible for my little boy to lose

his mam, and for me to not watch my little boy grow up, what if

one of my colleagues died and never went home at the end of the shift?

And their kids had to grow up without their dad? Someone's got to do the job of a firefighter.

I am one of those people.

That is what I've chosen to be in my life

and I'm not going to alter it because I've had a child.

If anything, having my son has made me more aware of the importance of what I do.

Rebecca has been doing her bit to smash gender stereotypes

ever since she first put on a fire helmet.

She's determined to do the same with William, even though everyone

and everything around her seems to want to pigeonhole kids from an early age.

If you go into the bigger toy stores, it's like mothers of girls, this way,

mothers of boys, this way, and it's literally just cut down the middle.

For boys, it's adventure, strength... You know - things like that.

Engineering and then on the girls, it's princess, pink, make-up,

fabulous, beautiful.

All the words that are fab and great

and it's really good that you're using positive words,

BUT they need a bit of the other things as well.

Why is it bad that boys are set to like blue

and girls are encouraged to like pink?

Unless you've got the balance from a young, young age,

then they won't grow up with a balance.

They'll grow up with the thing of, "I am a girl, this is what girls do. I am a boy, this is what boys do".

It's when a little boy says, "I want the pink one"

and someone says "No, you can't have that, it's for girls."

When a little girl walks into a toy shop and is kicking and screaming for a Scalextric

and their mother is going, "That's for boys, you can't have that".

-But why is that a problem?

-Because she's not being allowed to be who she wants to be.

That little child isn't being allowed to explore the whole world.

He's got a kitchen, I haven't made anything not accessible to him.

I haven't taken away his trains and cars,

I've just introduced the other stuff as well.

If kids are made and programmed to be a certain way, then they don't have

that choice when they're older,

because their brains have already been made to not feel left out right from the very start.

Whenever you finish speaking, I feel like I need to punch the air.

YES!

# Don't you know that it's different for girls

# You're all the same! #

If South Wales is on fire today, I'm afraid it's my fault,

because I've asked its top female firefighter to pay me a visit.

She's made me realise that sexism starts at home.

In fact, I can feel a confession coming on.

Meeting you definitely challenged some of my preconceptions.

I think before, I hadn't really thought women could be firefighters,

because of the physical nature of the job.

What are the worst examples of sexism you've encountered?

Women in particular saying that, "I'd be really disappointed if you rescued me".

Which is like, you'd be in a burning building, and I'd drag you outside and I'd take my mask off

and you'd go my God, you're a woman - throw me back in! I don't think so!

Do you think as a woman you find it mentally and emotionally more difficult?

-I don't think so.

-Has it changed since you've become a mum?

Because for me, since I've become a mum,

I can barely even watch the news without crying.

-My emotions are definitely more raw.

-Yeah.

How have you found that change?

I think I've got a fear now of things with kids that I didn't have before.

I've never met them, but I've known through stories of firefighters

who have taken kids out of burning buildings on the Friday

and on the Saturday have gone in and told their boss, I'm not coming back.

-Really? Men and women?

-Yeah.

-The one I'm thinking about is a man.

-Really?

I suppose that doesn't even occur to me that that could be as severe for a man, a father,

as it could be for a mother.

I'm so programmed to think of women as the primary caregiver,

that men's emotions around it might be slightly muted.

I think it's just something that society has tuned us to think,

that men are these heartless sort of, you know...

-Just get on with it!

-Yeah! But they don't.

-Do you think Britain is still quite prejudiced?

-Yes and no.

It's very difficult to compare ourselves.

There are certain countries where girls are still not even educated.

We have made progress, definitely.

We have made massive progress and I think for the prejudice

we do have, it's still a slow-moving process,

but compared to other countries, I think we are leaps ahead.

I've come back to Wales to catch up with Alison.

Last time we met, I confess I was quite shocked to discover

she was involved in porn, although I realise that makes me prejudiced.

I want to be more open-minded this time round.

Can you tell me a bit more about your work?

I do some shoots for a company where it's like, public nudity.

-How does it work?

-It's like flashing in public.

-What happens to that footage?

-It goes online then.

-They sell it on one of the websites.

-Can I see... Some of your work?

You can have a look, yes.

I haven't seen anything like this before in my life.

-Were you nervous?

-No. And it was freezing.

INDISTINCT

Oh my God, you're so...brave!

-'Can we see what you have under your skirt? Can you get those off?'

-Do you get completely naked?

-Yeah.

-Whoah!

-'Can you show us what you've got...'

'It seems there's a market for this as Alison found out

'whilst searching the net after her accident.'

I started looking at wheelchair porn, to see if it existed.

And I don't know if they found me or if I found them,

but there's people out there that prefer women in wheelchairs.

-Really?

-These are men who, if they saw a woman who could walk

and a woman in a wheelchair, and they were the same woman,

-they'd go for the woman in the wheelchair.

-How does that make you feel?

Yeah, it makes me feel a bit more attractive, I suppose.

You know, I've had a positive response.

-Do you still have quite an active sex life?

-Yeah. I do still...

You know, I... Like, my moves are limited.

Like, I feel like...

-I just feel like they'll get bored of me, like.

-Mm.

All I can do is just lie there.

Sorry.

I can see, being...

sexy and sexual is such a big part of you

and such a big part of your identity.

Yes, I just feel like a bit of a rip-off. In general.

Imagine if you couldn't move your legs, and...

Would you feel like your boyfriend would be interested? I don't know.

I think... sex is a real raw nerve for her.

It's a huge part of her life.

It's something that before the accident, was her livelihood

and something she really enjoyed. Everything about that had to change.

And rediscovering herself as a sexual person

has obviously been really difficult.

I think, though even on the outside she's really confident,

clearly that's something she still struggles with.

Alison has given me a lot to think about.

Even SHE seems to have some deeply held assumptions about disability.

But there's another area of prejudice that I've yet to explore - homophobia.

If you're gay or lesbian, there's a 64% chance

that you'll come across discrimination in the workplace.

It's a troubling statistic

and I want to meet someone who's been at the sharp end of it.

Today I'm on my way to see Beth

and I want to find out what it's really like to face prejudice

at work and what kind of courage it takes to fight back.

I'm visiting Beth at her home in Swindon.

-Hello. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. Come on in.

-Thank you.

In 2008, she and girlfriend Charlie

were working for the same sales company.

They'd been together for two years when the bullying began.

-Tell me a bit about how your work used to be.

-I loved my job.

I really excelled at it when I was there.

But then some comments were made by one of the members of staff,

saying that...

both me

and my partner Charlie were having a threesome with our sales manager

and the term used was that he was the meat in between the sandwich.

Oh, my God.

And he also said that we were disgusting lesbians.

Yeah, and he didn't know how we could do it,

I presume that means have a sexual relationship.

So he didn't just make one silly off-the-cuff comment

that was obviously offensive?

It was a continued comment on your lesbian relationship.

So I was thinking about making a formal complaint and this got back

to the main boss in the company and he called me in for a meeting.

To which he said, "Don't expect anything to happen from this".

-He wasn't going to support you?

-Yes.

-Wow.

Yes, he also said I'd let myself go in the last six months - his words.

-Um...

-In what way, professionally?

-In my looks.

-What?!

-Yes.

He specifically said, "If you took a picture of yourself now

"and six months ago, you'd be able to physically see the difference".

-That's still quite hurtful now.

-I can see that even talking about it now...

One of the other comments he made was that lesbians would never suffer in the way that Jews had,

so we had no right to complain.

I actually can't believe anybody said that out loud.

I know!

Beth and Charlie plucked up the courage to make a formal complaint,

but then the situation took a turn for the worse.

-They sacked Charlie, out of the blue.

-Oh my God, is that legal?

Because we were on a contract basis, they...just said...

..You've got to leave.

But then I resigned, because I just...

Just felt so unsupported in the whole situation.

I just couldn't let that happen to my partner.

That's why I decided to take it further by taking it to Employment Tribunal.

Beth's taking me to the college

where she's now studying to tell me about the court case.

She made the brave decision to represent herself.

-So you had to cross-examine your ex-colleagues?

-Yes.

How on earth did you do that?

Think it was a matter of having to.

Um, I'd got myself that far, you know, there was, at the stage of

the actual tribunal hearing, there was no turning back.

After a three-day hearing, Beth faced a tense few weeks

of waiting for the judge's decision, which arrived by post.

-How did it feel when that letter came through?

-Amazing.

So you opened the letter and what did it say?

Well, I had to read a lot before I actually got to the decision,

but basically that it amounted to discrimination,

that we were classed as employees

and we should have been afforded the rights that employees have.

Beth and Charlie were awarded £22,000.

What was it like, reading that letter?

It was probably one of the best feelings in my life, to be honest.

Because there had been real times where I'd felt, "What am I doing?"

And the struggle, like nights of no sleep...

And to get that in my hand,

saying "you've won",

was just incredible.

Four years on, the court case has changed her life in ways

she could never have imagined, including her career.

-I'm now training hopefully to be a lawyer.

-That's amazing.

What motivated you to do that?

One of the biggest things was during the tribunal, towards the end,

the judge said to me that he felt I'd conducted myself really well...

..Which I really took on board

and I was really thankful that he said that.

It just gave me a boost in self-confidence

to kind of think, you know what, I could actually do this.

Beth is kind of amazing.

She's taken a horrendous situation

and turned it into something quite positive.

Whilst I wouldn't wish what she's been through on anybody,

she's actually made a silver lining

and does seem to have become more confident as a result of it.

A new career isn't the only change in Beth's life.

The last couple of years have been full of surprises.

-# Our lips shouldn't touch

-Move over Darling

# I like it too much... #

She's now happily married to Chris.

And they even have a little boy.

# It's no big surprise any more

# Cos you fooled me before. #

Five weeks after I first met Alison, I feel like I understand

my own preconceptions so much more,

but there's still a lot I want to ask her.

Do you think people get into a bit of political correctness...

like, hole, around someone in a wheelchair?

They feel like they should be helping me and maybe other people

are judging them because they're not asking and helping me.

I think it's more how they feel other people perceive them

as to how I'm perceiving them.

They want to do right by everyone else.

Sometimes you can be quite defensive

and it comes across as a bit angry...

Yes, I'm very aggressive!

But from what you said to me before,

that was who you were before you had the accident.

Yes, I'm independent and...

I feel like since I've been in a wheelchair and people keep asking me

-if I'm OK, I feel like they're trying to take my independence away.

-Right.

I think the biggest problem for me

is that I just don't have any friends in wheelchairs and I don't

interact with anyone, any colleagues in wheelchairs, so it's such a new interaction

that it's getting it right that I find really difficult.

Everyone's different. Not everyone in a wheelchair is going to be like me,

some people want help all the time.

They'll want to be mollycoddled.

It's just I'm an independent person. Everyone's different, aren't they?

I think I'd be like you if I was in a wheelchair.

-I wouldn't want to be mollycoddled constantly.

-Cos you're like it now.

-Yeah.

-You don't change because you're in a wheelchair.

What is the worst case of prejudice you've encountered?

Maybe people assuming I'm mentally retarded because I'm in a wheelchair.

It doesn't happen very often, cos I'm too aggressive for that.

Before you had your accident,

would you have ever dated someone in a wheelchair?

-No, and I still wouldn't.

-Why?

I don't know. It's that survival of the fittest kind of instinct.

You know, you want to go for... the strongest mate, don't you?

Do you think the way you feel about not dating someone

in a wheelchair affects how you feel, your self-esteem?

It does, cos I wouldn't want to date someone in a wheelchair,

I think why would someone be interested in me?

What do you want for your future now?

I don't really think about the future.

Everything is like, day-to-day.

If you want something for your future and you never achieve it,

you've let yourself down.

-So I just do it one day at a time.

-You don't want to be disappointed.

Yeah.

Definitely quite surprised to hear Alison say that she wouldn't date someone in a wheelchair.

I suppose I was surprised by that because as someone who's suffered

from prejudice herself, I assumed she wouldn't have any of her own.

That's obviously wrong.

I suppose it shows me that, you know,

we've all got prejudices in some area, I think.

This journey has been a real eye-opener.

Maybe Shavell had it right when he said that black, white, gay, straight - we're all the same.

What unites us is our desire to be treated as individuals.

And that's exactly what I want for Coco.

Are we going to make a bedroom? Yes? For the animals to sleep?

What's your favourite colour? Is it red?

-Uh-uh.

-No?

Is it blue?

That's your favourite colour? Do you like pink?

-Uh-uh.

-You don't like pink?

I really want Coco to grow up being whoever she wants to be,

but I think I probably take that a bit to extremes,

so...pink umbrella, blue umbrella.

Who knows whether any of this will affect her future?

She may end up going down the pink, fairy princess route.

Either way, I'll be happy and know she's had the choice.

Next time, I'll be finding out why we work and play

so hard in a world that never switches off.

What price do we pay for our 24/7 lives?

You spend all your money on one night?

There's no money.

Do you think you're a workaholic?

I'll call you... Oh, it is the end of the week.

Yes.

Has...not...stopped.

You're actually shaking.

Rebecca! We've got money to earn.

# My mother told me

# If I was goody

# That she would buy me

# A rubber dolly

# My aunty told her

# I kissed a soldier

# Now she won't buy me

# A rubber dolly. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd