The First Time How Sex Works

For many people, first sex

and first love are defining experiences they'll never forget.

-He'd choose you to take his virginity over anyone.

-Really?!

This is about what happens in our bodies

and brains as we begin our sexual lives.

Chris is trying to pull a girl. He's, like... He's a slut.

We follow young people as they set about losing their virginity.

"Are you sure you don't want to try before you buy?"

-We'd tried it.

-No. We didn't.

And we track the effects of falling in love for the first time.

I could tell it made her very happy. Ecstatic might be a better word.

With access to cutting-edge science

and computer graphics, we show the massive impact these crucial rites of passage have.

Here's the area where we're hoping to see the activity.

It can be a rollercoaster of emotions.

Abortion is absolutely not a contraceptive choice.

It's like the last resort of the last resorts.

What happens at the start of our sex lives can have a major effect

on the rest of our lives.

I'm thinking of being a sneaky gay, or just be a gay person.

Through the highs and lows, this is the inside story of how sex works.

-Sex is good.

-It was really fun!

In Leeds, 19-year-old Callum

and 17-year-old Corrina are in the first flushes of a new relationship.

We've been together a month on Saturday.

-So, just over a month now.

-Yeah, early stages.

Callum plucked up the courage to ask Corrina out one Saturday night

at the local park.

I had to have several aids for that courage, if you know what I mean.

-PRODUCER:

-What do you mean? To put it simply, I were drunk!

He took my hand, led me over to the barrier there and said, "Corrina,

"I might be a little bit drunk, but please, will you go out with me?"

-I was like, "Yeah."

-Did I say please?

I don't know! I was, like, "Yeah. Go on, then."

Callum and Corrina have not had sex yet,

but Corrina lost her virginity in a previous relationship.

Thinking back on my first time,

I was happy at the time, and I don't regret it,

because I never regret something that made me smile at one point.

Callum, however, has not yet found the right person.

I am still a virgin, which, a lot of my mates, they mock me.

I've never really cared.

If it's your first time having sex ever, I do think it's important

for you have it with someone who means something to you.

It should be quite special.

Tonight, Corrina is cooking for Callum round at her place.

This is the first night we'll have spent together. It should be all right.

I think women tend to see this as a lot more romantic than men do.

I'm not expecting owt.

I don't expect to have sex with her tonight. Straightforward.

It looks quite nice, actually.

'I can't go a day without thinking about him.'

I get excited when I go to meet him as well,

I think, "What are we going to do today?

'"What's our adventure for today?"'

-Bon appetit!

-'Do you think about her a lot?'

It might sound bad if I say I never think about her.

I do think about her, but she's not always on my mind.

'I know people who will be going out a week and they'll be deeply,

'madly in love.'

I've never believed that. I don't think love just happens like that.

'At the moment, I'd say I'm deeply attracted to her. I like her a lot.

-'But not love.' This is surreal.

-What is?

I'm eating bacon, chicken and cheese with a glass of pink juice.

'I actually do think I'm falling for him.'

There's something about him.

-Have you told him?

-No, I'm too shy.

Most young people start to develop an interest in sex

and relationships after puberty,

which happens at an average age of 11 for girls and 12 for boys.

It is the most tumultuous time in any individual's life,

so you have this explosion of hormones, and it's no surprise that

it is associated with some quite radical behaviours.

Puberty starts in a part of the brain called the hypothalamus.

Messages are sent from here to the testicles in boys

and the ovaries in girls, telling these glands to massively

increase the production of sex hormones.

In males, the main sex hormone is testosterone.

In females, it's called oestrogen.

These hormones are transported round the body in the blood stream, having

been released at significantly greater levels than before puberty.

At sites all over the body, the sex hormones dock at receptors,

triggering major changes in our appearance and bodily function.

In boys, genitals enlarge and sperm is produced for the first time.

In girls, hips widen, breasts develop and periods start.

As we become fertile,

we start to explore sexual opportunities for the first time.

Young men and women are learning about their sexuality

and learning what it means to be sexually aroused.

In South Wales,

a group of lads in their early 20s have all lost their virginity,

but they're preparing for a sexual rite of passage

of a different kind - their first pulling holiday abroad.

We're off to Kavos, and everyone goes to Kavos for one thing.

-Sex, drink. Oh, that's two things.

-I hope there will be plenty of women.

The statistics that he's come up with - ten guys to every girl.

Better bring some lube!

Four of us going on holiday to Kavos.

We have Dan, Richard, Tom and myself.

Richard's the party animal of the group.

'When he's drunk, he'll do anything, absolutely anything.'

He'll use his two-thumb joke that he likes to use.

What's got two thumbs, speaks French and has a 12-inch penis?

Moi!

-They'll obviously be disappointed.

-Cos they can't speak French!

Unfortunately I haven't been on a lads' holiday yet,

so the anticipation is killing me, to be honest. I can't wait.

Tour operators started offering cheap package holidays to

young Brits back in the mid-1960s. Although, it wasn't until the '70s and '80s that these trips

became established as a major sexual rite of passage.

These days, thousands head out to resorts for a week of sun,

sea and sex.

-Plenty of condoms in there?

-That's all that's in there.

One of the aims is to chat the women up and, yeah,

if we're lucky, go a little bit further.

And we're live!

It's been a while, so I want to get my leg over! I want a bit of fun.

THEY LAUGH

I'm 23 now. I can't be going on these holidays much longer.

I have to get it out of my system. It will be epic. Memorable.

In Gloucestershire, Andy and Odele have been going out

for just under two and a half years,

and are about to experience a major step forward in their sexual lives.

Andy and I are getting married in two days' time,

at the weekend, and we have decided to abstain from having sex

before our marriage.

Odele and Andy are Christian youth workers and met

when they were colleagues at the same charity.

'I'm a committed Christian.

'That's important to me in terms of the girl I seek.'

To have someone who I can marry who's got the same passions,

goals and vision, that's really important to me.

Most of the people Andy and Odele work with are not Christians,

and the couple are open with them

about their decision to wait until marriage before having sex.

Were you scared the first time? Not scared... Were you not?

No, I wasn't, mate.

Were you not?

Everybody's got their own opinion.

It's a bit of a crazy thing, innit?

If you've waited so long, I suppose it is.

There was no sexual activity involved,

the whole of your 27 years?

-What would you call sexual activity?

-Bar kissing.

There was minimal sexual activity prior to us getting married.

I feel sorry for Odele!

It's so funny, the responses that you get. They say, "How old are you?"

And you say, "I'm 29."

"29?! And you're still a virgin? That's ridiculous!"

When you get married, that's your lifetime partner,

and you lose your virginity to them and it's like falling in love.

But you don't have to wait. It's a choice that you can make.

Why would you wait? Why don't you just lose it and feel the pleasure?

For me, it was about having that experience with one person,

so I wanted to make sure I waited till I was married.

It's just natural to lose your virginity at 14 or 15.

Pregnant by 16!

The average age boys and girls lose their virginity in the UK is 16.

Odele and Andy's pledge to save sex until marriage in their late 20s

has even surprised some of their friends.

One of my really close girlfriends said at the hen do,

"Odele, are you sure you don't want to try before you buy?"

-We did. We tried it.

-No. We didn't.

'I do think about sex quite a lot. Odele's an attractive girl.

'Why wouldn't I?'

For me, It does excite me, and I think that will strengthen

our relationship and love for one another.

With the ceremony just two days away,

some nerves about the wedding night are creeping in.

For me, I'm slightly nervous about the fact that Andy's going to see me

with no clothes on and, as a female,

I'm anxious about the fact that I've not got a perfect body,

and lumps and bumps in places,

and nobody's seen that yet, so all of that is new.

Nerves before sex are natural, but can lead to physical problems

during sex, and often this is down to poor blood flow.

In men, when they are sexually stimulated,

impulses are sent by the nervous system to the genitals.

The nerves going through the penis then release chemicals that widen

the blood vessels, which increases blood flow, producing an erection.

Nervousness can impair those impulses,

causing difficulty getting an erection.

In women, there is a similar effect.

Normally, sexual stimulation triggers blood flow to the vagina,

which causes lubrication to make sex more comfortable.

Anxiety can impair this blood flow,

meaning the vagina is less lubricated,

making it more difficult for women to get sexually aroused.

Over in Kavos,

the lads from South Wales have their own problems to deal with,

as their dreams of a sex-filled holiday in the sun seem a little optimistic.

It's definitely the end of the season.

The end of the season's coming up this Friday.

It's a weird set-up.

I've never been to anything like this in my life.

It's so different at night.

As night falls, the lads are determined to find some girls

and get the party started.

'Nothing can dampen our spirits on a night out.

'When there's plenty of girls, alcohol, bit of music,

'nothing can get in our way.'

The boys are three days into their holiday,

and sex has not yet been a major feature.

When it comes to kissing girls, however,

one member of the group is way out in front.

Tell me who's been the most successful so far.

Well... The most successful is myself.

'I've met a different girl every night.'

I think that sounds quite bad, actually!

He's doing great, as per usual!

A bit of a reflection on last night, where he's pulled,

and he's just gone back for seconds, I think.

He loves a bit of secondary dessert, so to speak.

He was trying to find her erogenous zones, and he couldn't find it,

so I had to find it for him!

I said, "It's her neck."

He's kissing her neck all the time.

That is her main erogenous zone.

When we kiss, our bodies go into pleasure overdrive.

The lips and tongue are packed with nerve endings

that are incredibly sensitive to stimulation.

This sparks the release of the feel-good chemical dopamine

by nerve cells in the pleasure centres of the brain.

When dopamine attaches itself to receptors

on neighbouring nerve cells, it triggers feelings of euphoria

and excitement all over the body.

Some scientists believe kissing could be about more than

a fleeting moment of pleasure,

as more kissing leads to more release of other chemicals,

such as the hormone oxytocin, which further stimulates bonding

and desire between couples.

As soon as I kiss her, the buzz heightens,

you definitely feel a good adrenaline kick.

There's something that just sparks in the back of your mind.

There's always that buzz where you're thinking,

"Yes, here we go! Job done!"

It is a bit of a holiday romance, and I'm sort of getting to like that!

He's a very open person, and I'm a flirty person anyway,

so we ended up flirting and giving a lot of banter to each other.

Then things happened from there.

As you can see, the night's gone pretty well, I think!

I think we get an early night!

(If you know what I mean!)

What was that for? Ow!

As the happy couple call it a night, the others consider their options.

-Oh, go on, girls! Go on! Please!

-Bonjour!

Oh, nice! Nice!

That's lovely. I'm going out for some more fanny.

-Richard, don't leave me!

-Once our sex drive kicks in,

we're naturally motivated to find a partner.

And for the first time, we might experience with another person

one of the most intense natural highs the body can create - orgasm.

In anticipation of an intimate encounter, sexual arousal builds.

In men, foreplay triggers an erection

as spongy tissue in the penis fills with blood.

In women, the clitoris and vagina swell with blood,

lubrication occurs and the vaginal muscles relax.

During sex, nerve endings in the penis and clitoris

and wall of the vagina are stimulated as penetration begins.

Nearing orgasm, male and female brains crackle with activity,

and some 80 different areas become increasingly active.

At climax, the brain sends signals through the body's nervous system

to generate the physical and sensual effects of orgasm.

In men, the result is muscles inside the base of the penis

contracting vigorously, causing ejaculation.

In women, waves of vaginal contractions are set in motion,

spasming every 0.8 seconds.

A few moments of pleasure, then it's over.

For many, these intense sensations can be a formative experience,

as we begin our sexual lives.

Finding a sexual partner is not the only challenge

we face in our early sex lives.

23-year-old Martin had a confusing time

when his sex drive kicked in as a teenager.

I always saw myself different to anyone else at high school.

I just fancied men for a long time. I just didn't want to accept it.

I thought, "I just need to sleep with a girl. Maybe I might turn straight."

I know it's a stupid idea. That was my way of thinking back then.

I kissed a girl from college. It felt wet, and I wasn't really into it.

I thought, "I want to get out now."

It was like that.

Around 6% of the UK population identify themselves as gay,

lesbian or bisexual.

I don't understand myself. I don't get why I'm gay.

It's not, like, "What would you like to be? Push a button to decide."

It doesn't work like that.

Throughout the last century, most scientists believed people were gay

because of childhood experiences and how they were brought up.

By the 1990s, however,

these theories started to fall out of favour.

There's one good way of shooting them down, and that is to

look at sexual orientation in the children of gay parents.

Most of those kids are heterosexual.

Probably about 95%, let's say, and the remainder are gay, which is

perfectly consistent with what you'd get by chance.

In 1993, biological theories to explain

why some people are gay hit the headlines.

Scientists in the United States say they've uncovered new evidence

which supports the theory that homosexuality might be hereditary.

Inside every cell in our body lie our chromosomes.

They hold thousands of genes that tell our bodies

how to develop and function.

Scientists Dean Hamer studied 40 pairs of homosexual brothers

and found that the majority shared a set of five markers

on the long arm of one chromosome - the X chromosome.

It suggested there was a gene or genes in this area that might

influence our sexuality.

Dean Hamer's finding was controversial at the time,

because it challenged the orthodoxy of those in the anti-gay camp

who argued that sexual orientation could be changed.

Dean Hamer's study has never been well replicated, and scientists have

never definitively identified a gay gene or genes.

Science continues to look to our biology, and recent theories have

explored how hormones might influence our sexuality.

One of the ideas of how hormones might organise

sexual orientation is that gay men are exposed to

lower levels of testosterone in the womb.

If you have just the right amount of testosterone,

you develop into a heterosexual, but if you have too little testosterone

or too much, that causes shifts in the female typical direction.

Once Martin realised he was gay,

he decided to tell some close friends at college.

'I was shaking. I could hardly breathe.'

To say the words "I'm gay" was like lifting the heaviest weight

you could think of.

'It was the most scary thing I've done in my life.

'Nothing could beat that.'

'We used to have a bit of banter with him and say, "Are you gay?,"'

and stuff like that, but we didn't know for sure,

but when he told us, we were all all right with it.

Despite coming out to his friends,

Martin has yet to tell his mum he's gay.

There were many times I've wanted to tell her, "Mum, I'm gay,"

but I'm always, like, "Mum... Uh, nothing."

As a result of not being fully out,

Martin has never really explored the gay scene.

I feel comfortable in the straight world.

I don't know anyone in the gay scene or any gay people.

All my friends are straight.

Going out to straight bars can have its frustrations for Martin when his mates start pulling.

Chris is trying to pull a girl, he's like... Well, he's a slut.

When he talks to me, he's like,

"I shagged this bird, and I did that to her."

"Chris, I don't want to know".

I'm frickin' jealous - everyone else is on the pull.

It's like, "It's easy for you, you're straight,

"you're in straight clubs on the pull,

"I'm a gay guy going to straight clubs and I can't pull."

Obviously, if he's attracted to a straight man,

if he says something, he could get a punch on the nose.

That's the way of society, you see, so...

Even when the gang move on to a drag bar,

Martin's mate Chris looks more at home than him.

By the powers of Grayskull!

He'll do it, I know he will! He gets his cock and arse out all the time.

He'll do it, look!

I'm not into that sort of thing. It just seems a bit full-on.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel I'm mad in the head.

I'm a gay guy who likes straight clubs,

but when I go into gay clubs, I, like, get nervous.

I, like, don't know what to do. It's like I feel trapped.

For Martin, the key to feeling comfortable with his sexuality is

finally coming out to his mum.

If I tell her, I can, like,

feel free to bring home a guy I'm in a relationship with.

I don't have to prance about anymore.

So it would change my life. No more sneakiness.

Chris, what were you thinking?

You got your arse out in front of everyone.

-So, how are you feeling today, Callum?

-I'm OK!

Callum and Corrina have been spending every day together,

and their relationship has entered a new phase.

-Expand the feelings of how you're feeling.

-I'm fine!

We were down on this little island thing, and he's like,

"Corrina, come over here, I need to talk to you." I was like, "OK, then."

He was like, "Corrina, I might be a hypocrite,

"I've told you before, but I think I do actually love you."

And my heart just, like...

exploded, really. I was like, "Oh, wow!"

Had you planned to say it?

No, it were quite spontaneous. It were just...

I was just with her and I thought, "I actually love her,

"so I'll tell her, cos she's brilliant."

For the next week or so, I had a massive smile on my face.

I was like...

"Say it again!"

I could tell it made her very, very happy.

Ecstatic might be a better word.

To me, love feels like loads of butterflies in your stomach.

And when I'm not with him, I think about him.

It is just knowing that someone is there for you,

and that you're there for somebody else, always.

Corrina is wondering if the couple's new-found love for each other

will lead to the next big step in their relationship.

Lately, I keep thinking, "Are we actually going to have sex?"

You know, when, if, you know, all them type of questions. What if?

I feel nervous for the obvious reason that it might just not work.

And there's a part of me thinking, what's Corrina going to think

if...you know, if it don't work?

Is she going to fall out with me? Is she going to be upset?

Will it just destroy the relationship completely?

That's, like, the dark, paranoid side of me coming out.

'Because the way I see it, because Callum hasn't had sex before,

'I always think, you know, he's waiting for the right person.'

I'm not trying to rush Callum,

but, yeah, I'm just thinking about things, you know.

Oh, look at that!

In New York City, scientists are trying to find out

why the feelings of new love have such powerful ups and downs.

Actors Diana and Albert have been going out for seven months,

and have agreed to take part in a study.

I actually think this is going to be the first time

I've seen you drink a cup of coffee,

and I'm actually quite surprised by that!

'We met in rehearsal at the Living Theatre,'

and I remember seeing him in rehearsal,

-and he was in his workout gear...

-I was not wearing workout gear!

You look like you're wearing workout gear right now.

-Just give me a kiss.

-Yeah!

Today's experiment is one of the first to look at brain activity

during early-stage intense romantic love.

What we're going to do is scan the brain of a young woman

who says that she's madly in love,

and what we're trying to find out is

exactly what is going on in the brain when you feel that elation,

the euphoria, the giddiness, the possessiveness, the motivation,

the craving, the obsessive thinking of early intense romantic love.

Hello, hello!

First of all, Diana must be assessed

to check she is sufficiently in love to take part in the test.

What were some of your bodily reactions

when you began to be interested in him?

I remember the second he walked in, it was like...

It was, like, shaking. I mean, I'm sitting at the desk,

I'm doing my keyboard thing, and I was just so happy...

-He was there, you know? Like, elation and warmth.

-Elation?

-Elation.

-That's a major aspect of intense romantic love.

That's what love is like - it's a very powerful experience.

We need to capture you

in that intense feeling of romantic passion for Albert.

Diana has agreed to go into an fMRI scanner

to see which parts of her brain are most active

when she thinks of Albert.

-I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm excited, I'm excited! OK, bye.

-Bye.

-Hi!

-Hi!

In the scanner, Diana is shown a favourite photo of Albert

on a loop for four seconds at a time.

Look at his face!

Then, to cleanse her mind,

she is asked to count down in increments of seven

from a random number.

Finally, Diana is shown a photo of a friend

she has no romantic feelings for.

The research team is looking for differences in brain activity

when Diana thinks of Albert compared to when she thinks of her friend.

Here's the area where we're hoping to see the activity.

We're hoping the scanner can pick this up, because we know it's there.

It's just a little factory near the base of the brain...

The team suspect the ventral tegmental area in the brain is

particularly active in the first stages of romantic love,

releasing large amounts of the chemical dopamine.

Dopamine is a natural stimulant.

When you see a picture of your lover,

the dopamine system is triggered

to give you that intense rush of intense infatuation.

Dopamine pathways in the brain produce focus, craving,

goal-oriented behaviours and motivation - in this case,

the motivation to win the love of a would-be partner.

These are really great results. They're very specific

for this lower brain stem area that we saw active.

There we are, romantic love.

Boy, to be able to put your finger on...a little dot.

Diana, the experiment's over, and we're coming to get you.

Perfect.

Some scientists believe

the strong drive to be together many new lovers experience is

essential to our survival.

Romantic love has an important evolutionary purpose,

which was to enable the brain to focus that mating energy

on just one individual, and start the mating process.

-So, I take it your brain is still intact?

-Uh-huh.

And, indeed, it's the most important thing that we do.

It is this way that we pass our DNA on to tomorrow.

-Were you nervous?

-Yeah.

'I was actively thinking about Albert.'

And I just got these images of the future.

Rather than thinking about the past, suddenly it shot to the future,

I thought, "What's going to happen in two months, ten years...

"15, 20, 30, 40?!"

And I was just... I realized I was smiling the whole time.

# I think I'm in love... #

Today, Odele and Andy will celebrate their love in front of 500 guests

when they get married.

And after the ceremony,

they'll be free to explore sex for the very first time.

It still doesn't really feel like it's my wedding day.

But I don't feel nervous, just feel really excited.

Andy and his ushers are posing for pre-wedding photos

when word comes through from the bride's house.

She's wearing white.

White means for a virgin, traditionally.

-It's more purity, isn't it?

-Are you wearing white, Andy?!

Some of Andy's mates also waited for marriage before having sex.

I did give Andy some advice, but nothing too serious.

I'll leave it for him and Odele to work it out!

The mechanics!

I'm sure they'll be fine.

I gave him some advice, more practical advice.

Pack of digestives under one of the pillows to keep your stamina up.

Refraining from sex has not always been easy for Odele and Andy.

'I'm a red-blooded male, so when me Odele get intimate, you know,'

your heart does beat fast, you do get excited,

you start to think with other things other than your head.

'Men and women are different

'in terms of when they become sexually excited.

'Andy is like a gas oven.'

Turn it on and it's instant heat, excitement, and there's a big flame.

And other men - not just me.

And you turn it off and it goes straight away. Whereas women,

they're more like an electric oven - they take longer to heat up,

'but the moment that they have got hot,

'it takes them longer to cool down.'

'I think Odele is a lot better at this than I am.'

She can tend to step back.

I think we would have had sex by now if it was over to me.

-BOTH:

-I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.

With my body, I honour you.

All that I am, I give to you.

-Amen.

-Amen.

It gives me great pleasure to now announce you as husband and wife.

You may celebrate with a kiss.

APPLAUSE

'It will be fantastic when we do have sex in the context of marriage,'

and the fact that we can both enter that without having

previous sexual experience is fantastic.

CHEERING

First-time sex can often be a case of trial and error, but the fact

Odele and Andy are deeply in love may stand them in good stead.

Some scientists believe that, particularly when women are in love,

they have better-quality orgasms,

and can achieve orgasm more easily than those who aren't.

In tests, this has been linked to

a brain region called the left insular,

which showed greater activity when women saw their beloved's name written down.

The more satisfied the female test subjects were with

the quality of orgasms in their sexual relationship,

the more this brain area was activated.

I've had the most perfect day ever.

I'm never intending to do this again,

so it's the best thing that's ever happened. It's just great.

It's a fantastic reception.

Lots of people here that I love and respect and, obviously,

just to share that with Odele is incredible.

At the reception, conversation turns to the wedding night.

We've talked openly about, obviously, tonight, THE night,

and what it might be like and what to expect,

and all of those type of things,

and I think they're looking forward to it an awful lot!

In fact, I can't see them now...!

THEY LAUGH

'We would view sex as something much more than a physical act -

-'it's got emotional aspects to it.'

-'Within a loving context,'

and it is fantastic,

because it's that relationship that leads to good sex,

that love, that commitment that leads to a good sex life.

Choosing when to have sex for the first time

and who with is a major decision. And we don't always get it right.

20% of young men and over 40% of young women

feel they had sex for the first time too soon.

In recent years, a small minority has taken the extreme step

of resorting to cosmetic surgery

in an attempt to return themselves to the physical state they were in

before first sex. The procedure is called hymenoplasty.

The hymen is a thin, fleshy membrane

that is found at the opening to the vagina.

When the hymen is stretched, it can rupture,

which sometimes causes bleeding.

For a long time, it was believed

an intact hymen was evidence of virginity,

and that it would be broken

the first time a woman has penetrative sex.

However, the hymen can be ruptured in many different ways,

such as horse riding or through the insertion of a tampon,

Despite this, in some cultures,

the hymen is still symbolic of virginity.

'What we do in a hymenoplasty is recreate that barrier'

so that it re-virginises, so to speak, the patient.

Today's patient is Judy,

a committed Christian who regrets losing her virginity

to a high-school sweetheart.

She's asked to be anonymous, as she fears she will be ostracized

if it becomes public she is not a virgin.

'I was born into a very, very conservative Catholic home.'

Sex before marriage is not allowed at all.

He was my best friend.

We did date for a little while in high school, and it was hard,

because he had really strict parents and I had very strict parents.

He had told me that he was in love with me.

He did propose to me.

So I said yes, and, you know, we're engaged.

And then, one night, it just happened.

Judy and her boyfriend had sex once.

Then, two months later, he disappeared.

She eventually caught up with him on Facebook.

He messaged me back saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this,

"but I got married a week ago.

"I met THE most amazing girl ever,

"and I had to leave because I loved you too much."

'I was in shock. I gave him my virginity.

'I gave him something sacred that. At the time,

'I felt like I wasn't going to get it back, ever.'

Hymenoplasty costs between £2,000 and £4,000

and is relatively rare,

with this clinic in the US performing

just seven procedures a year.

The first step is to expose the area

so one can actually see what is going on.

You may feel a little pinch.

And the second step, the edges are freshened up -

I mean cutting the old scar that has formed

on the free edge of the hymen,

allowing a bleeding edge to form,

and the final step is a suture

on the outside layer of the hymenal wall

that faces the exterior.

Now, you don't want to tighten it too much,

otherwise, the next time you have sex,

it will be exceedingly difficult.

Nothing can change how Judy lost her virginity,

but she hopes this procedure will make her feel more comfortable

about the prospect of first sex with her current partner,

who she thinks she will one day marry.

'He wants to know that he is the only one I have ever been with.

'The night of the wedding, he is expecting to see blood on the sheet.'

So, here's now the repaired hymen.

After a few months,

not even a doctor will be able to tell.

'Maybe I won't be that 100% virgin that I once was,

'but I will be one again,

'and that's what I'm looking forward to.

'Just being a virgin again, and being myself.'

In Kavos, it's another night on the pull,

and the lads are reaching for a spot of Dutch courage.

The booze is really cheap.

I tried loads of cocktails.

-Fish bowls...

-Sex on the beach...

-Blue lagoon...

-The head fucker.

Where we come from, they don't really serve those kinds of drinks.

They don't measure your shots, it's purely just slapped in a glass.

Really good. Um... It's very, very messy.

There's loads of atmosphere, but, yeah, it's class!

As the booze flows,

the lads' confidence with women seems to rocket.

If I didn't drink, I wouldn't have pulled.

It stops you from thinking about what you're going to say.

When we have an alcoholic drink, it washes down to the stomach

and into the small intestine,

where it rapidly absorbs into the bloodstream

and is sent pumping round the body and to the brain.

In the part of the brain responsible for social inhibitions,

nerve cells talk to each other by sending chemical messages that influence how we act.

If we see someone we fancy but can't get the courage to talk to them,

it's messages sent from this area that are inhibiting us.

Alcohol depresses the ability of this part of the brain

to send and receive these chemical messages,

and we become much less inhibited

and much more self-confident with potential sexual partners.

'I think the alcohol makes me not care about how I come across.

'I'm definitely the person who needs that,'

a bit of Dutch courage to up the ante and get in there, so to speak.

Booze doesn't just make us less sexually inhibited.

Scientists also reckon we actually fancy more people when we're drunk

than when we're sober.

It's called the beer-goggles effect,

and it's a phenomenon customers at a pub in South London

are all too familiar with.

Beer goggles is the ruin of all mankind.

It means you start looking at women

and you think they're sexy when they're not.

Put it this way, I've seen what she gets with when she's drunk!

No, no!

Scientists Lewis Halsey and Jorg Huber are carrying out an experiment

to find out why people might appear more attractive after a few drinks.

Their study is based around the idea that

alcohol might affect our ability

to detect asymmetry in the faces of others.

People tend to find mates, or potential mates or partners,

more attractive when they're more symmetrical.

It's all about finding a mate that will provide good genes

to go with yours for your offspring

and will also likely provide for your offspring well.

You will be shown 20 pairs of faces.

-OK.

-And your job is to decide which one is more attractive.

HE LAUGHS

-OK.

-Yeah, so...

I'm finding YOU very attractive at the moment!

Yeah, that's kind of you to say...

One face in each pair has been subtly manipulated to make it look

more symmetrical than the other, and participants must decide which they prefer.

The theory that we're working on was that people who were drunk

may be less able to see asymmetry in a face than people

who are sober, and if they can't see the asymmetry,

then they can't see that lack of attractiveness.

Therefore, they see the face as being more attractive.

After judging the faces,

participants take a breathalyser test to measure how much alcohol is

in their bloodstream.

-71.

-What does that mean?

-It's a fair amount.

-Is that really high?

So we found that sober people

more often prefer the symmetrical face of a pair of faces

when they had the choice

than did the drunk participants.

You preferred the symmetrical face just eight times out of 20.

'There's some reasonable evidence here, not conclusive,

'but reasonable evidence, that a lot of ability to perceive asymmetry after drinking alcohol'

is at least part of the mechanism

explaining what we call beer goggles.

Drinking and dating may be fun, but winding up with someone

we don't fancy is not the only risk attached.

Surveys say that people are three times more likely

to have unprotected sex when drunk.

For men, the main method of contraception is the condom,

which reduces the risk of STIs and pregnancy.

For young women, the pill is most popular.

It won't protect against STIs, but is around 99% effective

in preventing pregnancy if used properly.

It caused a storm when it came out in 1961.

-NEWSREEL:

-'This little white tablet is more explosive than dynamite.

'What its effect will be on the future of mankind is something

'nobody can foretell.'

The pill prevents women from getting pregnant by interrupting

the normal hormonal changes that control the menstrual cycle.

Normally, hormones trigger the growth of what are called follicles

in the ovaries of women, and every month, one of these follicles dominates the others in size

and releases an egg which can potentially be fertilised by sperm.

The pill slows the release of certain hormones,

which restricts the follicles from growing and, by extension,

an egg from growing and being released for fertilisation.

The pill is only effective, however,

if users remember to take it every day.

Victoria went on the pill when she became sexually active

in her late teens.

I finished school at 18,

and I'd kind of messed up my final year, I'd struggled with depression

and things like that, and had been just going out and drinking a lot.

I was sleeping with a lot of people, and I thought I was having fun,

but when I look back at it now, I think, probably 80% of the time,

I wasn't having fun - it was more desperation.

Victoria's chaotic lifestyle meant she often forgot to take her pill.

When I went home with somebody, I would know that

I was going to have unprotected sex.

I knew that I was going to be stupid.

I couldn't talk about it with people back then, just couldn't do it.

I didn't want them to talk about it.

I didn't want to deal it - too much reality.

I knew the last person I slept with...

I just knew that I was pregnant.

I knew it, and it was a miracle that it didn't happen sooner.

After confirming she was pregnant, Victoria went to her parents

with the news.

They both came into the lounge and sat next to me

on the sofa and just held my hand.

And just asked me what I wanted to do.

And they were amazing.

I told them that I didn't want to be pregnant,

and I didn't want to have a baby. And they just said, "OK."

Abortion was legalized in the UK in 1967.

The pro-life lobby argue abortion goes against the rights

of an unborn child.

There's been over 4.5 million unborn children killed by abortion.

Pro-choice groups view legal abortion as a major step forward

in women's rights.

Before 1967, the Home Office statistics showed that

between 30 and 50 women a year died as a result of criminal abortion.

Abortion rates increased slightly last year,

and nearly 190,000 were performed in England and Wales.

When Victoria opted to have an abortion, she felt

she was just not ready to cope with becoming a mother.

I wasn't willing to give up my life, you know?

Messed-up as it was, I wasn't willing to change it that massively.

When she arrived at hospital for her abortion,

Victoria was sent for an ultrasound scan.

'You see people going for scan on TV, or your friends go for a scan'

when they are pregnant, and it's a happy event.

They see the baby on the screen and they hear the heartbeat.

And so having that experience

and it being a completely opposite feeling was very strange,

and it was horrible.

Victoria had her abortion and left hospital the same day.

A week later, however,

she started to experience painful stomach cramps.

'The pain was so bad that it would wake me up in the night,

'and I was doubled over in excruciating pain.'

No painkiller would make it better.

After three weeks, the pain stopped,

and she experienced a heavy vaginal discharge.

I had no idea what it was, but it was something and it was big,

it was round, it was grim, it was nasty.

'I went to my GP straightaway,

'and they basically said that it was remnants of the stuff that'

they had failed to suck out of my womb when I'd had the abortion.

It was horrifying.

What happened to Victoria occurs in just 1% of cases.

Despite the complications she went through,

she doesn't regret having an abortion.

In the seven years since her procedure, she's travelled widely

and has met her partner.

The couple are now planning their wedding.

'Abortion is absolutely not a contraceptive choice.'

It's one of the most important things in the entire world,

whether you have a baby or not.

Um... You have to...

If you are not going to through with it, you have to justify it,

you have to...

I have to live a better life.

# I was raised up

# Believing I was somehow... #

In Blackpool, Martin has been building up courage

to tell his mum he's gay.

Before the big conversation, he visits his counsellor, Steve,

for some advice.

Today is Saturn V rocket launch day.

We're on the launch pad, and we're going for it.

And it doesn't actually do you any good to keep...you know...

to stop the launch.

I mean, why in the hell can't I bloody just say, "Mum, I'm gay"?

Because it's approval, isn't it?

-Mmm.

-You want Mum's approval.

You don't want to upset Mum, but you still want Mum's love.

The scary thing is the reaction. What should I expect?

Is she going to be mad? Is she going to be fine?

What's she going to be like? I don't know.

'It's a very, very big day for him today.'

This coming-out process is essential to Martin's

development as a human being.

'It's fundamental. You can't live in a society where you are forced

'to be dishonest about your true emotions and feelings.'

I would value the fact my son told me

before I found out through other channels.

Yeah, if my friends told... God, that would have been awful.

-So it's about honesty.

-Mmm.

So, off you go.

-Handshake. Go for it, bro.

-OK.

See you later.

'She's, like, the one person left that I'm so intimidated to tell.'

I don't want her to be different with me in any way,

so that's why it's a sort of big deal for me.

'Right now, I just feel ready, like, just go for it,

'because if I leave it for longer, I'm just not going to say anything.'

It's Corrina's 18th birthday,

and she's getting ready to meet up with Callum,

although their relationship has been strained this week.

He hasn't spoken to me all day. I've seen him - not to talk to -

but he hasn't texted me or anything.

Kind of upset, really.

Keeps changing.

Corrina's mate Becky is good friends with Callum, too.

When you're upset, I'll go over to him

and be like, "Oh, this is bothering Corrina, that's bothering Corrina."

What's bringing me down is he's hardly showing me any affection,

but when he does, I'm really happy.

Despite their relationship troubles, Corrina has high hopes

for her special night.

I hope tonight is going to be romantic.

I'll be there, my boyfriend will be there. That's what I want, really.

I'm so excited!

-Agh!

-Agh!

ALL: # Happy birthday to you! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

'Last week, it's been a bit odd.

'She were crying the other day, because I'm good mates'

with this girl, and Corrina got a bit upset over it.

I used to think Corrina was all right with it,

but it seems to be getting to her, so...

-Hello.

-Hey!

Becky!

I need to have words with Becky about something.

After Callum and Corrina's rocky week, it's down to Becky

to mediate between the two and pass on some reassuring words.

He'd choose you to take his virginity over anybody else.

Really?

Cos he was going to tonight.

Yeah? Really, tonight?!

Yeah.

-Oh!

-But he doesn't know if he should or not because...

-Because of things.

-Yeah.

She's on her period, so I can't imagine anything actually happening.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

You see, the thing is, cos I'm a virgin,

I don't actually know what goes on!

It's a bit embarrassing, admitting that, but I don't mind.

But people have told me it's not a good...

you know, it's not nice.

There will be plenty of other times when I could, but...

Cos I think that you two will be together for a hell of a long time.

-Do you think?

-Yeah, and he tells me how happy you make him.

'Really?! Because I bought him Newkie Brown?'

No, not just because of that!

But just how happy you make him in general.

CORRINA LAUGHS EXCITEDLY

'If I were to lose my virginity, it would be her,

'because she's the special one, the woman in my life who I do love.'

She's the best specimen of the female species I've ever met.

It's the morning after the night before in Kavos,

and the lads are off to a water park,

but some are struggling with the early start.

How can you be so chirpy?!

Rough, I think, is the word.

It's way too early.

Terrible.

Not all the lads feel so jaded.

Best night all week. Everything about it was just tremendous.

For one of the group in particular,

the holiday has exceeded expectations.

'I found someone this week. She's one of the nicest girls I've met.'

I've never been on a boys' holiday like this,

so I didn't really know what to expect.

'You see on the television, programmes, films,'

they're all one-night stands, so that's what I was expecting.

I didn't expect holiday romance, but I kind of like it, it's good.

With one night left, the others are reflecting on their own performance.

Is it a disappointment to you that you didn't have sex this week?

Yes, it is a disappointment.

'But anything can happen.

'Fun all night, it will happen!'

Last night of the holiday now, so it's...

..a bit of a long trip home, you know, take it easy tonight!

There's been so many highlights this week.

There's been pole dancing, pole dancing with fire round us,

there's been plenty of free alcohol, which is always a bonus.

My age group should experience it when you're young.

Just have fun, enjoy your teenage years, or your young adulthood.

This has just opened my eyes so much now.

I want to experience more.

Where are you running off?

-I'm off for a rendezvous.

-With who?

My baby lady. I'm off for a rendezvous with a baby lady.

# And the love kick starts again

# Starts again

# And the love kick starts again... #

This morning, Martin decided to tell his mum he is gay,

and he was unsure what her reaction would be.

Hello.

Did you tell your mum?

Yeah, I told her.

She was out doing pilates, and I was waiting out.

I was like, "Crapping hell!"

And when she came back, I was like...

-Um...you don't mind if we go somewhere private, do you?

-Yeah.

Martin has been building up the courage to come out to his mum

for over five years.

Well, when he first came in, I think it was a bit like,

"I need to talk to you, Mum," and you think,

"Oh, my God, what's he done?!"

You know, I'm thinking, "He's done something wrong,

"or he's in trouble with the police or something."

So yeah, it wasn't as bad.

I was like, "How do you know?

"Is it just a phase, you know, you're going through?"

Cos I suppose, really, I wanted him to say, "Yeah, it's a phase,

"but really I'll be what you want in the end, and I'll get married

"and have grandchildren and you'll be happy,"

but, you know, you accept these things.

-But, yeah, I did grill you a bit, didn't I?

-You did.

It was like half an hour or an hour of questions,

and stuff about HIV and, "Have you kissed anyone before?

"Have you slept with anyone before?" I'm like, "Ugh!"

That's what mothers do!

-We're just the same as we were really, aren't we?

-Mmm.

-No difference, is there?

-Yeah.

I still put up with you!

SHE LAUGHS

The plan now is to find a nice bloke,

good-looking and lovely personality

and all that, and just settle down or have a good relationship.

That's, like, the mission at the moment.

Hopefully, I can start a journey,

and hopefully, it will be a good one, hopefully.

Odele and Andy are fresh back from honeymoon

and are adjusting to living together for the first time.

-So far, so good.

-Yeah.

I'm getting used to the flat being girlified.

-Goodbye to bachelor pad, I say.

-Yeah.

What's the point in having books, pebbles, whatever these are,

too many beauty products, candles...?

I don't see the point in having any of this.

After two and a half years together,

marriage and moving in is not the only rite of passage Odele and Andy have been through.

-Yes, we have had sex for the first time.

-Have we(?)

Yes, we have, Andy! Glad you remember it so well(!)

The best way I can say is it evolved, and it was fantastic at times

and at times it was, perhaps, laughable!

That's the best way I can put it!

I thought it was going to feel really weird,

and it was going to feel a bit odd, you know?

But actually, it didn't feel like that at all.

It just felt totally right.

But it has been kind of quite funny,

like getting embarrassed at chemists and stuff.

I was thinking, "Where do they even sell parts of lubrication

"and condoms... Where do they even sell it in Boots?"

Cos I'd never bought it before, so I didn't have a clue!

And then you feel naughty, going up to the counter!

And that was all quite amusing.

So, Andy, as you can guess, just left me to pay and ran off,

so I had to do it all on my own!

'I think it just reassured us that our decision to wait

'and our decision to put it into married life

'and a strong relationship was the right one.'

-It was really fun.

-Sex is good.

It was really fun!

Next time, we explore what happens when we start to play the field.

I love exploring sex just as much as I love eating...and I love eating!

From the pleasures...

I've never had an orgasm quite like it. The Valhalla orgasm.

..to the dangers...

I was given, what I thought at the time, was a death sentence.

..of promiscuous sex in our 20s.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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