Playing the Field How Sex Works

This programme contains frank discussions and medical images.

For many people, the late teens and early 20s is a time for experimenting with sex.

This is a film about what happens in our bodies and brains

-at this crucial stage.

-Girls!

I love exploring sex just as much as I love eating, and I love eating.

We follow young people as they explore their sexual urges with many partners.

I do enjoy casual sex with, I s'pose, anyone.

But if I wanted to go out and have sex,

it would be easy to get with a guy.

And track the physical and psychological effects of promiscuous sex.

I think I was just so desperate for sex, I didn't care where it was.

With access to cutting-edge science and computer graphics.

we show the massive impact these sexual rites of passage have.

The Valhalla orgasm. I've never had an orgasm quite like it.

And find out what happens

when people in their 20s have no desire for sex.

I don't look at people and think "Hm, yeah, I'd have sex with you."

That kind of just doesn't happen.

Our sexual experiences at this stage of life can have a major effect on our future.

I was just given what I thought at the time was a death sentence.

Through the highs and the lows, this is the inside story of how sex works.

Peter is a 25-year-old model and aspiring actor from London.

He's single, and sex plays an important part in his life.

I love exploring sex as much as I love eating...and I love eating.

It's got to the point these days

where if I don't have sex within a certain space of time, my attitude changes.

I get moody and sex has become such a massive part of my life

that it's kind of second nature now.

It's kind of like breathe, eat, sex.

Sleep.

The male sex drive hits its peak in our early 20s.

At this life stage, men think about sex on average 19 times a day,

although women aren't far behind with ten.

I'll probably, in a month, sleep with about five or six different girls.

For Peter, when it comes to hooking up with girls,

making the right impression counts.

I'm very image-conscious and I love to make a good impression

to the point that even I'm going to the corner shop,

I've gotta dress like I'm going somewhere important.

You never know who you're going to bump into so you've always gotta look your best, right?

I've got shirts. I've got cardigans.

Polos, t-shirts, all colour-coded, obviously.

I bought this jacket because P Diddy's got it. It looks so nice.

It's like Pimp Daddy Cool. Look at it.

You must have more clothes than some of the girls you've seen.

Yeah, I do.

A lot of them say "Oh, my gosh, you've got more clothes than me."

But I just say...yeah.

Looking his best boosts Peter's confidence to approach girls

and he's careful not to let any opportunities pass by.

With a girl, if I walk past a random on the street, you've got a minute.

"OK, cool, do I need her in my life?" Yeah? No? Yeah?

OK, sure, I need her. Approach. Bam.

If you like it, go for it. If you don't...

don't go for it.

But don't get home a few hours later thinking "Damn!"

cos you had your chance - all you've gotta do is pull down your balls and just go for it.

Da-da-da-da...you.

Come to Papa.

Nah. I wouldn't do that to ya.

-Tonight, Peter's out on the pull in London's West End with his mate and fellow model Roberto.

-Girls!

-20 quid you can't bring her back here.

-20 quid.

-20 quid.

-Ladies, where are you off to tonight?

-Huh?

-Where you off to tonight?

-Drinks or food?

-Food.

'If I'm walking down the street and I see a physically sexy woman,'

my first thought is "OK, cool, she looks nice."

Second thought is "What does she look like naked?"

I don't know if that's an obsession or craving but, hey, it's me.

I'm sitting here with my friend and we saw you two walk past.

Many factors feed into how sexually driven we are.

But one of the most important is testosterone,

the primary male sex hormone.

Large-scale testosterone production in males kicks in at puberty

and reaches its peak in our early 20s.

The hormone is released from the testes

and other glands into the bloodstream at regular pulsating rhythms

where it's carried to receptors all over the body.

When it docks at these receptors,

it can trigger major changes in our behaviour, not least our sex drive.

Testosterone receptors are found on nerve cells in our brain

and the hormone interacts and binds with these nerve cells,

relaying important messages for action.

And in young males, that action is go out and compete with other men for a mate.

We'll probably be here for another hour or so,

-so probably have your Thai food and join us for a drink.

-That sounds very good.

Yeah? I'll see you later. KISSING SOUNDS

Enjoy your evening, ladies.

I enjoy the art that is sex so much that I want to be Picasso in it.

If I could be Picasso in anything, it would be sex.

Because I think it's so great to kind of explore our bodies as humans.

What did you want, sir?

PhD student Ruthie is 26 and lives on her own in London.

She's single, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have sex.

Sex is incredibly important to me. Sex is a very important part of my life.

I like sex with lots of people. I like sex with different people.

And I like a lot of it.

And I think "promiscuous" is the best word for that.

And I don't think there's any harm in that word.

Right now, Ruthie doesn't want to be tied down to exploring sex

with just one person.

I have one regular lover, I have a special occasion lover,

I have a group of people who I go to parties with...and they are my lovers at these parties.

Tonight Ruthie and her friends are getting ready to go to an alternative club night in town.

It's a night of possibilities,

and I'm very looking forward to it and seeing what happens.

Sex is definitely on my mind right now...the horny devil that I am!

The female sex drive hits its peak between the ages of 30 and 40,

although for no-strings sex before marriage and babies kick in,

the 20s are often the golden years.

Just like in men, the female sex drive is influenced by testosterone.

It's produced in women's ovaries and adrenal glands, although at around 1/10th of the levels it is in men,

so its impact is less pronounced.

Other chemicals are at play though, and one of these is dopamine,

the so-called pleasure chemical.

When we do something we enjoy, like having sex or eating chocolate,

dopamine is released from tiny nerve cells inside the brain.

These dopamine molecules travel across what's called the synapse

and dock on to receptors on neighbouring nerve cells.

This triggers a chain reaction of pleasure messages all over the brain.

A heavy hit of dopamine when we're getting intimate with someone

can be the same as when drug users take a substance like cocaine.

So once we've had a hit, it makes us want to come rushing back for more.

It's just so exciting.

Having amazing sex in different ways with different people.

It is fun if you do it safely.

Ruthie's interest in sex with lots of partners was sparked

after she lost her virginity at 21.

I lost my virginity quite late.

I was still dealing with a lot of things from being a teenager

and also not really sure where I wanted my life to go

and I kept seeing everyone around me losing their virginity to people they loved

and then having their hearts crushed and burned,

and I said "Why am I hanging about for one of these relationships

"to lose my virginity if that's what happens?"

So I hooked up with someone I knew was very worldly

and it was good and...really very good for first time ever

and it kind of set the standard for the rest of my sexual experiences.

Catch up during the night, see where you guys are up to...yeah?

Awesome.

Like Ruthie, Peter also thinks he came to sex late.

'A lot of people expect me to lose my virginity at, like, 12,'

but I didn't - I lost it at, like, 17 and a half.

Which for me, unlike my circle of friends, was pretty good.

But Peter's love of sex doesn't mean every encounter is memorable.

I had sex the other day and it was just not good.

So I was actually thinking "Am I having sex too much

"so should I limit the amount I have sex

"so it doesn't get boring, or was it her that was boring?"

It's funny because I've slept with girls that sexually I'm so attracted to,

and the orgasm has been amazing. But the sex hasn't been great.

But the orgasm's been amazing.

For men, the reward for all their hard work trying to win a mate

is one of the most powerful natural highs a human can experience - orgasm.

The male orgasm typically starts with an erection.

As arousal builds in the body, messages are sent from the brain

telling muscles at the base of the penis to relax, allowing blood to flow in.

Excitement builds as penetration begins

and the penis is stimulated by friction within the vaginal walls.

At the start of climax, messages are sent telling

the muscles of the semen ducts at the base of the penis to contract.

Sperm, which is made and stored in the testicles, is mixed with sugar, proteins and enzymes

that are stored in the prostate gland.

This liquid mix is pumped out as semen through the urethra,

the tube running through the penis.

At the point of climax, vigorous muscle contractions

thrust the semen out at an average speed of 28 miles per hour.

In this split second, chemicals are released in the brain

spreading messages of intense pleasure throughout the body.

It can be an addictive sensation that has a clear biological purpose -

the more men orgasm, the more they ejaculate, allowing them

to spread their seed and potentially continue their genetic line.

Where are these ladies? Ooh, she's nice.

But for Peter, sex is not just about his own orgasm.

When you give someone so much pleasure, to the point where the next day they call you back

and they say "Do you want to hook up again?" and that for me is like...yeah.

By and large, men are able to orgasm every time they have sex.

But only a third of women say they can climax during intercourse.

And a third seldom or never reach climax.

This has never been a problem for Ruthie.

I know I'm very lucky because I tend to orgasm whenever I have sex.

I had to count them off on my fingers.

One was this type of one, then there was a small one then there was a big one.

I've given them all names.

Just to sort of explain the way they make me feel.

First, it's apocalyptic, the kind of destroying orgasm

where you're actually incapable of keeping the rhythm.

The wave completely washes over you.

Then you have biblical, like God has come, he's made the world, all that in an orgasm.

You're really shaking. You basically want them to not touch you afterwards.

I thought that one was the best level I could achieve and then came the Valhalla orgasm.

I've never had an orgasm quite like it

and I didn't stop orgasming during the entire session of sex.

-A multiple.

-It was a large multiple with really long spaces of,

basically riding, cresting huge waves of orgasm.

The idea that women could get any enjoyment out of sex is a relatively recent one.

She looks so sweet and nimble-oh, bringing in her linen-oh.

Up to the 1950s, women were often viewed simply as good wives and dependable mothers,

and those who did display a sex drive were seen as lacking in morals.

But social changes such as the introduction of the Pill

in 1961 and the free love movement later in the decade

all contributed to a greater sense of female sexual freedom.

By 1976, sexologist Shere Hite published a report on the female orgasm

that left no doubt of its existence.

The big question that remained unanswered, however, was what was it for?

In the United States, a group of neuroscientists

are working at the cutting edge of orgasm research

to better understand how the female orgasm works.

Unlike the male orgasm, which has a clear reproductive function as it usually culminates in ejaculation,

a female orgasm doesn't serve an obvious biological purpose.

Research like this is engaged in trying to unravel

what a female orgasm actually does.

Orgasm is one of the most compelling functions of the nervous system

and of behaviour, and there's very little

understood about its mechanisms and its function.

So by studying brain activity, we can get inside some of these

very powerful human feelings that we've never really been able to understand before.

Today Monica has agreed to take part in the research study

and will bring herself to orgasm in an fMRI scanner.

Well, yeah, it's a little nerve wracking to have an orgasm in an MRI

with so many people around.

I don't usually have such an audience doing something so private,

but donating an orgasm for science - how bad could that be?

Comfortable? Not too tight?

It's OK.

During the orgasm, the team

will build up a detailed map of the areas of Monica's brain

that become more active than usual.

Monica, start genital stimulation.

When sexual arousal starts in a woman,

a rush of blood to the pelvic area causes physical changes

that prepare the vagina for sex.

The vagina lengthens and widens and secretions occur,

making it more lubricated.

Stimulation inside the front wall of the vagina triggers pleasurable sensations.

For most women, the clitoris is the key to sexual satisfaction.

This is the female's most sensitive erogenous zone,

packed with 8000 nerve endings that, when touched,

send impulses back to the spinal cord and the brain.

As climax approaches, the pleasure circuits of the brain

start flooding with neurochemicals.

These are the brain regions that are activated

by the stimulation that she's applying.

Certainly, the genital sensory cortex is activated.

Monica's oxygen levels increase in regions all over her brain.

The lowest levels of oxygen show up as dark red,

whereas the highest levels are yellow and white.

As Monica reaches climax, almost her entire brain illuminates yellow,

indicating that over 80 different regions of her brain

have increased activity during orgasm.

APPLAUSE

-Monica, you OK?

-Yup.

OK, you're done. You did great.

The scientist believes that his findings are evidence that,

besides the feel good sensations,

a female orgasm has other benefits -

to nourish the brain and keep it healthy.

It can't be bad - to get increased blood flow and increased oxygen

and nutrients to essentially all parts of the brain through orgasm.

It has got to be beneficial to the health of the brain.

It was comparable to what I might have on my own any other time.

Not quite comparable to with company. I prefer with company.

Not everyone sees sex as something to embrace and explore.

Jenni is 21 and a student in Oxford.

She's one of the estimated 1% of people in the UK

who identify themselves as asexual.

The basic definition is that you lack sexual attraction.

For me, I don't look at people and go, "Yeah. I'd have sex with you."

That kind of just doesn't happen.

People say, "If you've not tried it how do you know if you're straight?

"Have you tried having someone of the same sex as you?

"How do you know you wouldn't enjoy that?"

You just kind of know -

if you're not interested in it, you're not interested in it,

regardless of having tried it or not.

As asexuality has been the subject of very few scientific studies,

it has led to speculation about why some people feel no sexual desire.

There are people who definitely view it as a disorder,

and are like, "If we give you these pills, we can fix it."

Or people who will ask if I've had my hormones checked,

as if that's the obvious solution they totally understand.

Then some people go one step worse,

and I've been asked before if I've been molested as a child.

Which is not an appropriate question to be asked, to be honest.

Also, I haven't been.

But it was the assumption that, "Hey, you have something wrong with you.

"Clearly you were molested."

It's just such a terrible attitude to have.

Jenni is comfortable with her asexuality as an orientation,

although she's still not fully open about this part of her life.

I haven't come out to my mum as such,

because her attitude to sex is sort of old fashioned -

she thinks it should be kept private.

To be honest, which mum is going to really mind that I'm not going to be getting pregnant any time soon?

Although Jenni is not fully out to her family,

she has found support in the asexual community at her university.

Today, she's meeting up with fellow asexual Ben,

and conversation turns to how the pair operate in a sexual world.

Do you, like, flirt with people then?

Not as far as I know. If I was talking to people,

I wouldn't know where people would draw the line

at just talking to someone and flirting with them.

-Do you not notice if people are flirting with you?

-No.

OK, because I do actually.

Well, no, I usually have a friend who pokes me and says,

"Jenni, they're flirting with you!"

So for all you know, you could have had lots of people hitting on you

and you wouldn't have noticed?

Yeah.

Even though Jenni and Ben have no desire to have sex,

they do still think about it.

I'm kind of curious as to what it is.

Would you say you have that?

I'd say, yeah, I'd like to try it at some point,

in the same way I'd like to try certain hobbies.

It's just something that people do that could be quite fun.

I don't know. It's something to try before...

So you want to try just to see what it's like?

Yeah.

Do you reckon trying it will change your opinion?

Not really, no.

Just because Jenni has no interest in sex,

doesn't mean she's not attracted to people.

C'mon you. Hey.

In the summer she met Tim and they are a few weeks into their romance.

I think we just kind of suit each other quite well.

We have very similar senses of humour and like the same kind of stuff,

so I think it's as silly as that, to be honest.

Thank you. They're not mouldy, are they?

I will check.

Well, is there white stuff on them?

The interesting part with me and Tim ending up as a couple

is that he's not asexual.

What do you mean, you made? I suggested we...

But you didn't how to!

A lot of people actually ask if I being selfish,

keeping him in a relationship where he won't get what he wants,

and he should go and date somebody like him.

But he seems quite happy so I'd say I'd leave that up to him.

I mean, the first time that Jenni sort of mentioned in conversation...

In my very subtle way.

..that she was asexual, my initial thought was, "That's kind of odd."

But I knew enough not to make assumptions about what that meant.

I've never been obsessed with sex.

I'm not one to go out at night to find someone to have sex with

just because that's what people do.

I've just never been interested in that.

So I'm not all that concerned about it.

-That's a timer.

-Yeah, I know! ..Shut up!

Because of her asexuality, Jenni and Tim are, for now,

parking the idea of having sex together,

and focusing instead on the more romantic side of their relationship.

Well, yeah, you know, we do regular couple things.

Cuddling, kissing...

It's not like I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I am to him over there.

That's true.

-So, at least it's not...

-While you don't you have sexual attraction,

there's other attractions, which are pretty evident.

Whilst Jenni is adamant that she has no sexual desire,

her relationship with Tim does have a physical side,

as she they touch and kiss to express affection for each other.

When this happens,

the brain releases a calm-inducing chemical called oxytocin,

also known as the "cuddle" hormone.

Many oxytocin receptors are located in the part of the brain

that deals with fear.

The release of oxytocin suppresses this region

which may reduce our feelings of fear,

possibly allowing us to feel more safe and secure.

And all because we received a caring touch or hug from someone we trust.

Aidan is 23 and is a student.

His sex drive kicked in before he hit his teens,

when he discovered he felt a strong attraction to both men and women.

I realised I was a bit different to other people

probably between about 10 or 12.

That's when I hit puberty, and 16 is when I first had sex with a guy,

and I first had sex with a girl when I was 15.

Sometimes I'm in the mood to be straight,

so I only get with girls.

Sometimes I'm in the mood to be gay, so I only get with guys.

It's down to the individual - if I like them, and they like me,

then that's pretty much quids in.

I don't really have that many relationships.

The grass is always greener -

if I'm with a guy, I want to be with a girl,

if I'm with a girl I want to be with a guy.

Whilst it may sound as if Aidan has the best of both worlds,

being bisexual isn't without its issues.

Gay guys tend to think I'm greedy,

so they don't really see me as relationship material.

They see me more as a one night stand.

Girls, they take it one or two ways.

One, they move away from the idea of having sex with me

because I've had sex with guys,

and they think that if I were to have a relationship with them,

then they've got double the people to look out for

if I was to cheat on them, or someone wanted to cheat with me.

I do enjoy casual sex with, I suppose, anyone.

But, in my experience, if I wanted to go out tonight and have sex,

it would be easy to get with a guy because I'm a lot more comfortable

just going out and getting with a guy than I am with a girl,

and I could find a guy quicker than I could find a girl to have sex with.

Today, Aidan's got the day off, and he plans to unwind

by hooking up with a man for casual sex.

I've been working solidly since last Wednesday,

so I'm quite happy to have two days off.

So, I haven't got to be up early or anything like that,

and I can hunt around to find someone for this evening.

The main way Aidan gets with men

is by using gay dating apps on his smartphone.

This allows him to pinpoint likeminded people in his area,

using his phone's GPS technology.

I could, in theory, probably meet five or six people

and just be like, "I'll meet you there at this time..."

I'm not saying that I will, but you could.

A guy's talking to me now and he's asking me for pictures.

I have some naughty pictures,

but mainly people ask for pictures of your face,

just because you can put any profile picture up,

and that doesn't necessarily mean that's you.

Aidan is aware that going to a stranger's house for casual sex has its dangers,

not least because homophobic attacks can still happen to unsuspecting gay men.

Yeah, definitely there is a safety issue with it.

Safety isn't too much of an issue for me.

I am 6 foot 8 and I'm quite big.

But, saying that, if you have a group of people...I don't know.

I try not to think about it.

Nothing like that has ever happened to me.

Erotic humiliation.

Ruthie is preparing for her weekend by shopping for sex toys with Oli,

one of her current regular lovers.

It seems a little dainty for my needs.

We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, but the more I describe it to people,

the more they say, "So, she's your girlfriend."

They don't have the frame of reference -

to them it needs to fit in that box that says "boyfriend and girlfriend",

and we don't function on that level.

We both go and have sex with other people.

What's really good about this is that you keep this up,

so while you're penetrating her she will also...

Get the vibrations.

Yeah, this will be rubbing into your clitoris.

To have someone where I can be completely free, say whatever I like,

and know that I'm not going to be judged, is very, very unusual.

There isn't a taboo that I've come across with Ruthie,

and there are so many people who are a little bit repressed sexually,

and maybe want to do something but don't know how to ask for it,

and so to have that freedom to be completely open is wonderful.

She's my best sexual partner ever.

No denying that.

Thanks. Bye.

Thanks a lot.

Tonight, Ruthie is taking Oli to one of her favourite sex parties,

and they're going along with Ruthie's best friend, Becks.

-Hello!

-Hello!

-How are you doing?

Yay! Finally! How long has it been since the last one?

Not that long.

The consensual play parties I like going to

are basically like costume parties,

combined with a rave, combined with an orgy.

You've got a nice sweeping back in this one.

Tonight's party is a monthly event always held at a secret location,

attracting a young crowd of around 300 people.

For Ruthie, the exciting possibility of having sex with a stranger

is always on the cards.

Sex doesn't have to be meaningless because you're with a stranger.

It can be sensual, it can be wonderful.

It doesn't have to end.

You can form relationships of a very new variety.

Given what she might be getting up to,

Ruthie's taking all the necessary precautions.

I brought some Pleasure Max ones,

and some silver ones - I can't remember what they are.

You take as many condoms as you can, as safe sex is well promoted there.

But it's also about how many partners you're going to be with -

if you don't want to use all the condoms there, you need your own.

OK, ramblers, let's get rambling.

On their night out, Peter and his mate Roberto's luck is changing.

I'll take my phone.

Yeah, OK. That sounds good to me.

That's well good.

Two girls they met earlier on have come back for a drink.

Hello, how are you? You came back!

-Yeah.

-You came back.

First, you don't wanna bombard them with, like,

"I'm a player. I only want sex for one night." You don't do that.

Find out the fundamentals - name, age, occupation,

what they like to do.

What do you do, workwise?

I'll help you out - she's definitely not a tree surgeon.

I look for girls with good jobs -

if I get with a girl, I want to see that she's got goals in life.

I can't stand getting with girls that are going nowhere.

You're a surgeon of some type...

So tree surgeon was almost right!

What type of surgeon do you want to be though?

Before long, model Peter reveals his own profession

and shows the girls the tools of his trade.

I like what I see!

She's checking me out right now.

So, what are you thinking?

Looks-wise, personality-wise?

Be honest.

On the spot right now!

Seven.

Seven. And you?

Eight.

Peter may have scored highly with the girls,

but during the conversation they reveal they're married,

and a bit of harmless flirting is as far as things will go tonight.

But, Peter has no shortage of other girls he can call on.

How many girls have I got on my phone?

I have no idea.

30?

It does get to a point where there's more than one name.

Like, say if there's two Lucys,

I'll obviously kind of say, OK, Lucy two.

So the girl I've got with is Lucy two.

If there's a third Lucy, I'm like, OK, Lucy three.

But technology these days helps you minimize your confusion

by adding pictures to their numbers, so that is awesome.

In the Midlands, bisexual Aiden has spent his day off

chatting to men on his Smartphone and making plans for the evening.

He's clicked with one man in particular,

and the prospect of no-strings casual sex is now on the cards.

He's basically said he's up for a meet later today.

Later this evening.

So I thought I'd come home and get changed...

before I go and meet him.

I've never met him before.

Only spoke to him last couple of days, so...

Hopefully it'll be all good.

I didn't know it was going to definitely happen tonight,

but we've been talking and I said my day off was today and tomorrow,

so I've just been hinting to him,

and now he's just come back and sort of said "Well, I've got an hour."

So, I can get there in ten minutes and be done in half an hour,

so I'll be quite happy.

I do have a condom in my back pocket...

just in case he doesn't.

Before any casual hook-up,

Aiden must find out what role the other man prefers in the bedroom.

Basically you've got three types. You've got top, bottom or versatile.

Top means that you only give, you never take.

Versatile means you're happy doing either.

Bottom is you only take rather than give.

I'm a top only.

I guess what goes through my mind on the way to hook-up

is a bit of nervousness.

I've never met the guy before.

Obviously, the thrill of going to actually meet someone.

The excitement of that is a big factor which I enjoy.

For many people, a sense of danger can fuel sexual excitement.

This is because, as we go into the unknown,

our body initiates what's called the "fight or flight" response.

Once fight or flight is triggered,

it's transmitted to a part of the brain called the hypothalamus

that organises our response to stress.

The hypothalamus sends messages down the spinal cord

to the hormone producing adrenal glands.

It's here that stress hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline

are pumped into the bloodstream and carried to sites all over the body

where they trigger major changes.

The heart starts pumping blood twice as fast as normal,

so there is more oxygen being carried all over the body.

In our brain, our natural judgement system is turned down

and we rely on our instincts more.

These physical changes make us ready as we face the unknown,

and, in Aiden's case, prepare to have sex with a stranger.

Definitely nervous at the moment.

I want to make sure that I perform, firstly.

And I want to make sure that, because he's quite attractive,

that he enjoys it.

I mean, I might get there and he's a complete twat, but...

we'll see, won't we?

It's 4:30am in the morning,

and Ruthie, Oli and Becks have returned home from their sex party.

There's different ways of measuring the success of a party like that,

and one such way is intensity of orgasm,

and I rocked tonight with that!

Apparently it was audible.

Just a tad.

My favourite encounter tonight,

and you better not get a big ego about this,

was when he manacled me to a bed and had his way with me,

and that was pretty awesome.

Maybe one day I will be in a monogamous relationship,

and yeah, maybe I'll retire my promiscuity,

but I've still got so many other people to have sex with,

and so many other different toys to find out about,

and, you know, different ways.

A recent survey suggests British people

are the most promiscuous in the Western world.

When Brooke came to the UK from Australia ten years ago

she was 22, and quickly discovered how easy it was

to hook up with men for casual sexual encounters through the Net.

I don't know what on earth possessed me to go to an internet cafe

and I literally got hooked, talking for hours and hours to people,

give your phone number out and you could be texting as well.

You cut away the chase almost.

You could just get online, say, "This is what I'm looking for.

"This is what I look like. If you're interested come along."

There's four nice pictures of me from when I didn't have a fuller figure.

"Queen Bee-Bee is looking for fun fun fun.

"Keeping brevity and clarity in mind I'd say I'm naughty but nice."

Oh, yeah, here's one of the last guys I slept with.

Having sex with strangers started to become a way of life for Brooke.

I really got into this habit of having sex once or twice a week,

and it did make me feel better about myself, you know.

A lot of friends used to say I was a sex addict,

and I've always used sex as a buffer for emotional issues.

Certainly, when I first started out,

I possibly thought you had sex, you're attractive, you're OK.

Brooke's growing need for sex took her out of the bedroom

and into some unusual locations.

I think I was just so desperate for sex

I really didn't care where it was.

On floors and just weird, wacky places.

Behind a bin, those kind of things.

Often you'd get in those spaces and you'd be having sex,

and you'd have one foot against a door...

Mind you, if you're having sex in a public place,

why you'd worry about someone bursting in is beyond me!

As her sex life spiralled out of control,

Brooke ventured into dangerous situations.

I stopped at a kebab shop one night and I met these two young guys,

French guys actually, and I said, "Come back to my place."

Even though I was a big girl, I got them back

and I suddenly felt really, really under threat.

I thought, things can get out of control.

I suspect they wanted a place to bunk for the night,

but one minute you're sort of kissing one guy,

and it's happy days, and then I'm like, "I don't want to do this",

and it got quite ugly - they were being quite forceful

and quite pushy

and it got quite frightening until the point where I got loud and vocal

and I literally started to get panicky and a bit shrill.

I think they decided to leg it, it wasn't going to happen,

but I just thought, to put myself in that situation,

it makes you think, "What on earth have you done?"

From using casual sex as a way of boosting her self esteem,

a constant drive for more encounters started to have the opposite effect.

I started to become tired, and I know I felt tired.

It felt like going out and having a game of tennis.

Going out and buying a pasty.

It was just something to do.

It had no meaning. It wasn't special.

Instead of making me feel good about myself, I felt ugly inside.

This isn't working - this has stopped working completely for me.

Two years ago, Brooke's life changed dramatically when she met Ian,

the first man she's been able to keep a monogamous relationship with.

Now they're engaged to be married.

That feeling of being loved unconditionally,

does wonders for your self esteem, you know.

I'm very sold and I'm very secure with him.

I can't bear the thought of sleeping with anyone else -

it really would kill me -

to not wake up with him, to not have sex with him all the time...

I'm very, very happy, and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

Back in the Midlands, it's the morning after

Aiden went on his hook-up with a gay man he'd not met before.

It was a very good night. We both got what we wanted,

and it was a good release - I enjoyed it.

I suppose I could relate it to when I go to the gym -

when you have a good workout, you've pumped some iron,

it's the same kind of feeling you get when you go for a hook-up.

It's like you've got more energy - you've just released loads,

and you've got more and you want to do it again.

Even though Aiden says he had fun last night,

it doesn't mean he'll see the same man twice.

I mean, if they are really hot, you kind of need to play it cool.

You don't say on your first meet, "I want to go out with you",

or anything like that. You kind of see if they message you again,

or you message them and see if they reply - play it by ear.

I will settle down eventually.

I don't know whether it's going to be with a guy or girl yet.

But at the moment I'm happy doing what I'm doing.

Because Aiden enjoys regular casual sex,

he takes his sexual health very seriously.

Statistically, Aidan is in the most vulnerable age group for contracting an STI,

as half of those diagnosed are men under 25.

I've come for a check, please.

Today, he's come to his local hospital to get tested

for a range of possible infections.

I think it's a month since we've seen you, isn't it?

Yep.

So, any particular problems?

No. Keeping on top of it.

-Not noticed any discharge?

-No.

When did you last go for a wee?

A couple of hours ago.

Obviously I do try to be as safe as possible all the time.

I go to the sexual clinic

just to make sure that I don't have anything,

and if I do have anything, that I catch it quickly.

-Have you had any sexually transmitted infections before?

-No.

OK, so when did you last have sex, Aidan?

Um, a couple of weeks ago.

Such checks-up are free on the NHS,

and they can test for all STIs, whatever your history.

That was just a one-off, was it? Male or female?

Male.

And did you have anal and oral sex?

Just anal.

So, we'll do a blood test for HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B,

we'll do some swabs from your throat, from your urethra,

and from your back passage as well, OK?

Yep.

There are at least 25 different sexually transmitted infections

that can be spread through vaginal, anal and oral sex.

Most can be prevented through the use of condoms, but others,

like herpes and warts,

can be spread by skin to skin contact and are less easy to avoid.

The most common STI is Human Papilloma Virus,

which invisibly infects over 80% of sexually active people by age 25,

but causes genital warts in 1%-2% of cases.

Some invisible strains of HPV are linked to cervical cancer in women,

and anal and throat cancers in both sexes,

although this can be prevented by vaccination.

The most common treatable STI in the UK

is an often symptomless bacterial infection called Chlamydia,

with cases doubling over the past decade.

If left undiagnosed in men,

Chlamydia can spread down the tube connecting the penis to the testes,

causing pain and potentially sterility.

In women, Chlamydia is thought to be a possible cause of infertility

as the infection can inflame the lining of the womb,

causing heavy bleeding and damage or blockage to the fallopian tubes.

If diagnosed early enough, Chlamydia can be treated effectively

with a dose of antibiotics.

I'm just going to do a swab from the end, OK?

Yeah.

There are a lot of people out there

that get something and don't care,

And will... not willingly pass it on, but they still enjoy sex,

and maybe they just can't be bothered to take the pills,

or use protection, so you just need to be as careful as possible.

Do you want us to text you the results?

Yeah, if you could.

-Anything you want to ask at all?

-No, that's it.

Unless people sleeping with multiple sexual partners get regular checks,

STIs have the potential to multiply.

There were nearly half a million new cases of STI diagnosed last year.

22-year-old Matt came out when he was 16,

and always took safe sex very seriously

whilst enjoying himself on the Belfast gay scene.

The sex I was having was very pleasurable to me.

I was finding different parts of my body that I didn't know existed.

So, when I was mainly a bottom, which just meant I received during sex,

and during that I found out actually, this hurts like hell,

but once you get over that pain barrier,

there is a lot of pleasure to be found through that.

Matt had discovered the joys of having his prostate gland,

commonly known as the male G-Spot, stimulated through anal intercourse.

The prostate is highly sensitive to pressure.

An array of sensations may be produced by pressing,

rubbing or stroking the gland through the rectal wall.

The most profound of these feelings can be similar

to the sensation that is normally felt when men ejaculate.

The first time I experienced my G-Spot being stimulated

was mind-blowing, like it really was.

It did feel like my whole body just exploded

and this was ten times better than an orgasm.

It felt like my blood was on fire

but also ice cold. The strangest sensation flowing around your body

and after that happened I couldn't be touched anywhere.

It just felt like everything was so sensitive.

Matt was having a great time exploring sex with multiple partners

but all that came to an end after one drunken night out in 2009.

Me and my friend started off in a bar and got really drunk

and went round to a night club and got even more drunk.

Then I said, "I'm going to the sauna, the gay sauna."

You pay and get given a towel and you can have sex.

But I can't really remember going in, I was that drunk.

I woke up the next morning in the sauna

knowing that I'd had unprotected sex and that was the first time

I've ever had unprotected sex.

The first thing that entered my head was that I should get checked out.

Chlamydia, Syphilis, all those things, I was really worried about.

The following day, Matt went to his local hospital for a STI test

and he was given the all clear.

But, two months later, he was called back to give another blood sample.

The health worker brought me into the room

and said that you are here to get your bloods retaken

but the reason why is because we've found the HIV virus in your blood.

I felt my whole world crumble around me.

One second my life was amazing,

then the following second I was given, what I thought at the time,

a death sentence.

HIV is mainly transmitted by anal or vaginal intercourse

with an infected person without a condom.

It's a virus that damages that white blood cells

which are vital in keeping our immune system healthy and strong.

HIV infiltrates these cells and kills them off,

but not before they've replicated multiple copies of the virus.

If a person is at an advanced stage of HIV,

and they develop an infection, or cancer, as a result

of attacks on their immune system, they are diagnosed as having AIDS.

Without treatment 90% of HIV cases will lead to AIDS

after an average of ten years.

TV AD: There is now a danger that has become a threat to us all...

The first cases of HIV and AIDS started to emerge in the early '80s.

In 1987, hard hitting, controversial public awareness campaigns

were mounted to warn people of the dangers.

..so protect yourself.

If you ignore AIDS, it could be the death of you.

Today, 120,000 people have been diagnosed with HIV in the UK,

of which 27,000 have developed AIDS and over 20,000 people have died.

In the days immediately after his diagnosis,

Matt was desperate for somewhere to turn for comfort and advice.

I went and spoke to the HIV support centre in Belfast

and after speaking to those people they do give you peace of mind.

It's not the death sentence it was, it's a chronic manageable condition.

These days HIV is treated with combinations of drugs

that disrupt the virus's ability to replicate in the bloodstream.

This is not a cure and HIV can have a radical effect on the lifestyle

of those who are diagnosed

but, with drug treatment, a normal life expectancy is now possible.

Whenever I get sick I need to be slightly more careful.

I'm not on medication because my immune system is still strong enough

but I know some day I will be on medication.

It's like everything you do, just take everything in your stride.

But, physically, I'm good.

Are you ready?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Matty Moo!

# This thing, called love... #

It's been two years since Matt was diagnosed with HIV

and eight months ago he met Connor, who's now his boyfriend.

It's the first time I've ever properly felt in love with someone.

He makes me very happy.

Connor admits that before meeting Matt he didn't know much about HIV.

I had sort of rough ideas, but it was just stereotypical.

Sort of like, "Woah."

But, after I'd met Matt it was like, "Oh, God."

I just forgot everything that I thought I knew

and from that I learned more than I thought I ever wanted to know.

Even though Connor is accepting of Matt being HIV positive,

it is something that's having an impact on their sex life.

Mine and Connor's sex life is slightly difficult

because I don't have a great sex drive any more.

I worry a lot about the risk of him contracting HIV.

That's terrifying for me and Connor is a 21-year-old bloke

and I'm scared that I can't give Connor what he wants and needs.

I don't know when, or if I will ever be fully comfortable with sex,

and I can't ever imagine him going, "OK, fine let's not have sex."

It's something we need to overcome and we both need to compromise

because it is such an important part of our relationship.

In London, single man about town, Peter, is off to meet a girl.

When people meet me in a bar they get to see the weekday Peter,

the guy who doesn't seem as if he's got a lot of responsibilities,

except for enjoying life and that's all they need to know.

They don't need to see this side of me, this is my personal side.

Peter looks after Casey, his two-year-old daughter

from a previous relationship, every weekend.

Whilst girls might come and go during the week,

Casey is the one constant in Peter's life.

She's a very important part of my life

and a part that I'm not ashamed of.

Sometimes when a girl hears that a guy she likes has got a child

it's kind of sort of a turn off.

If it is a turn-off then that person isn't worth it.

Being a dad hasn't changed Peter's approach to the dating scene

and he's careful to keep these two worlds separate.

Myself and Casey's mum have an agreement.

We're not together but, when we do have partners,

we need to be with our individual partners for at least a year

before they get to meet Case.

The relationship could blossom into something really great.

If that means that Casey is going to be involved,

it's important that each of us are involved.

You happy with that?

Yeah?

Since Casey was born two years ago, Peter's priorities have changed

and he's not ruling out settling down with one person,

particularly if there's a chance the sex might get even better.

In the past I've had great first times and that has led

into a relationship and I thought the sex, at first, was amazing.

As the relationship got on, and as our bodies got to know each other,

then sex just catapulted to a whole other level.

It gave me the feeling, this is amazing this is great.

As much as I love the single life, being a bachelor.

I've always said, and will always say,

I'd easily give it up, if I found that one person that was worth it.

Although they have no plans to have sex,

asexual Jenni and Tim's relationship has moved on to the next stage.

Tim's just moved to Oxford

and he hasn't found a house yet so you're living here

and you got a job that started today.

Your new suit... Yes, we noticed.

He turned up for a week visiting me, got a job and moved into my house

and now isn't leaving except for when he finds a house

but, even then, he'll be in Oxford, so that was quick.

I live in a very small country town, there's nothing to do,

so I'm glad to be out of there.

Aiden won't rule out settling down at some stage,

although he doesn't know if this will be with a man or a woman.

If I'm in a relationship with a guy or girl,

it doesn't mean my desires will change.

I'm still going to be attracted to either sex.

That, I suppose, is a down side of me being bisexual

but, to be perfectly honest, it's the 21st century.

You can get with whoever you want, you shouldn't have to label yourself

on your sexuality just because everyone else does.

It's not a phase, it's who I am.

There may be a day where I settle with a male or a female,

but I'm still going to be bisexual,

but I'm going to be in a partnered relationship.

Ruthie is in no hurry to leave the promiscuous life behind.

I understand why people are monogamous, I'm not an idiot.

I come from a family where my parents are still together

and very much in love.

They're possibly the most 'in love' couple I've ever met

and some day, yes, I will want focus and put all my attention

on my partner and then my family.

Right now, I am so much more comfortable than I ever have been

in my sexuality and I've just been having so much fun.

There's so much fun to be had and I don't want to give that up

to just have sex with one person all the time.

Next time, we explore what happens to our sex lives

when we settle down.

I didn't want to have a proper, serious boyfriend.

Yeah, I was fighting with it, for ages.

From the problems...

I totally feel like a failure. As if, you're not a man.

To the moments of joy...

Better than any drug I've taken before... Unbelievable stuff.

As we experience sex in long-term relationships.

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